₦airaland Forum

Cooolme:
I have a stepsister living abroad, the daughter of my mom. She's been there since childhood, raised by her father, and has become independent.

Despite the physical distance, she has been supportive, particularly to my mom. Although she occasionally sends money to my mom, it's never quite enough for her.

I share a unique bond with her; we've always been close, even during her visit. The last time she sent me money was during my 100 level when things were tough. However, my focus shifted from financial help to maintaining a connection with her.

Recently, I noticed a change. Since July, she has been snubbing my messages, a puzzling behavior considering I don't seek financial assistance. I've made it a point to check on her regularly, something she mentioned our mom doesn't do. At my level now if she needs money I can even send for her but her recent attitude has totally changed my mind towards her. I'm contemplating blocking her and ending contact, as it seems that's what she wants.

It's a challenging situation, and I'm curious if anyone here has experienced anything similar.

From your description she's your half sister since you share the same mother but not the same father. But if your mother remarried another man who has children with another woman then that man is your stepfather and the children he had previously , not with your mum , are your step siblings. Any child he has with your mum is your half sibling

ask your mum for her address in the uk. join ebay uk. buy pound card or ebay credit. order flowers and chocolate and a bottle of wine on ebay and send to her address. you can do all this from naija

best advice.

By the second paragraph the relationship is already defined as one 'who is supportive' and 'sends money'....

Now that the tap is turned off you have redefined the relationship.

There are very, very few people who will wish to continue a relationship on that basis.

Because you're becoming too demanding

Cooolme:
Thank you so much, literally the best response I seem to have come across.
Appreciate.

@Cooolme,
Any time... You stay safe.
Cheers.

SIXTEENTH:
No matter your schedule and work almost 24/hr if you're into someone whom you so desires believe me definitely you must create a little time to reached that someone

You ain't telling no lies here.

Reference:
By the second paragraph the relationship is already defined as one 'who is supportive' and 'sends money'....

Now that the tap is turned off you have redefined the relationship.

There are very, very few people who will wish to continue a relationship on that basis.

See even me that is still young and struggling, I know how much I send to my people per month and I still pay the house rent. I don't have a problem with that.
She's in good communication with my Mom, I was just shocked to see she doesn't reply my messages anymore.

How old is she? How old are you? Why did your mom leave her dad? Is old enough to get married with kids and yet it’s not happening yet? Are you married? Are you showing signs that you might want to move tot the states? Does she reply your mom?

The reasons she is lukewarm is one or more of the answers to the above questions.


Depression is real. Mind poisoning is real.

Don’t block her,the best person to help you unravel this issue is your mum.Don’t call her again no matter how much you miss her,infact,if she calls you don’t pick her call,allow to be in the same condition she put you.Don’t be be excited or carried away when eventually you answer her call.If na me e go take at least 2years b4 I pick her call.Na woman she be ,if you shun her she will start looking for you.

Too much messages are not always good, it could appear like you are up to something or don't you have time for yourself.

Its time you cool down, because you are hyperactive, maybe some chemicals you know like glucose or glucozin , too much messages today, then thinking of blocking someone tommorow, looks like you are a child.

My advise, life is too short, to be dramatic, count 1 to 5, and breathe in and out, then stay put for some time

Kagani kwoi. Chineke for these people

Cooolme:
I've not experienced such before tbh, I grew up being loved and very bad at this detachment game y'all claim to have (learning tho) but someone you Video call, talk with for hours just stop communicating with you totally when you know you did nothing wrong, it's weird now. In this case it's not a friend or partner rather a very close relative you have a strong bond with.
I have time on my hands though, it's my grumble not yours.

I am in the same situation as you.

Cooolme:
I have a stepsister living abroad, the daughter of my mom. She's been there since childhood, raised by her father, and has become independent.

Despite the physical distance, she has been supportive, particularly to my mom. Although she occasionally sends money to my mom, it's never quite enough for her.

I share a unique bond with her; we've always been close, even during her visit. The last time she sent me money was during my 100 level when things were tough. However, my focus shifted from financial help to maintaining a connection with her.

Recently, I noticed a change. Since July, she has been snubbing my messages, a puzzling behavior considering I don't seek financial assistance. I've made it a point to check on her regularly, something she mentioned our mom doesn't do. At my level now if she needs money I can even send for her but her recent attitude has totally changed my mind towards her. I'm contemplating blocking her and ending contact, as it seems that's what she wants.

It's a challenging situation, and I'm curious if anyone here has experienced anything similar.

Don't block her. Put her on mute and ler her be.

Cooolme:
Mumu read the post, someone that speaks often with my Mom?

Your mama na mumu. Foolish beggar. Na so una use begging pursue am.

Cooolme:
I've not experienced such before tbh, I grew up being loved and very bad at this detachment game y'all claim to have (learning tho) but someone you Video call, talk with for hours just stop communicating with you totally when you know you did nothing wrong, it's weird now. In this case it's not a friend or partner rather a very close relative you have a strong bond with.
I have time on my hands though, it's my grumble not yours.

Bros, u sound like a very clingy person..d issue with people with this kind of character is they don't see themselves as such & see others wanting some space from them as detachment.

Quit being annoying & let the lady have some space for herself..Once she feels better, she would naturally contact u...AND THIS time, TRY NOT TO BE SO CLINGY.

Britishpea:
How old is she? How old are you? Why did your mom leave her dad? Is old enough to get married with kids and yet it’s not happening yet? Are you married? Are you showing signs that you might want to move tot the states? Does she reply your mom?

The reasons she is lukewarm is one or more of the answers to the above questions.


Depression is real. Mind poisoning is real.

I'm 21, Actually I have Japa plans but I don't even intend moving to the country where she's based.
She's of the age for marriage but that doesn't bother her at all.

stacyadams:
No block am.....just stop writing her

@coolme

Listen to the advice above.

Just give her space, life might be happening to her.

Also when you chat with her what's your message?

How is work and have you eaten??

Those could be boring and a bit stale and someone could just don't want to be replying to the same convo all the time.

Abi, Clingy cat, always needy, will not let someone breathe.

Elsueno:
Bros, u sound like a very clingy person..d issue with people with this kind of character is they don't see themselves as such & see others wanting some space from them as detachment.

Quit being annoying & let the lady have some space for herself..Once she feels better, she would naturally contact u...AND THIS time, TRY NOT TO BE SO CLINGY.

Elsueno:
Bros, u sound like a very clingy person..d issue with people with this kind of character is they don't see themselves as such & see others wanting some space from them as detachment.

Quit being annoying & let the lady have some space for herself..Once she feels better, she would naturally contact u...AND THIS time, TRY NOT TO BE SO CLINGY.

You are wrong. Stop it. Stop projecting your views of life on him. He is right to understand and process the detachment. If we respect people we shouldnt just disconnect from them in a way that seems stvpid. Its not mature. Abeg shift

Elsueno:
Bros, u sound like a very clingy person..d issue with people with this kind of character is they don't see themselves as such & see others wanting some space from them as detachment.

Quit being annoying & let the lady have some space for herself..Once she feels better, she would naturally contact u...AND THIS time, TRY NOT TO BE SO CLINGY.

I understand you and I'm working on that tbh, I'm not annoying in anyway please. Speaking to someone once a week isn't annoying lol.

Maybe she had a bad dream where you are chasing her with cutlass. Stop telling people about your life. Lol

Cooolme:
I understand this too, I have a job coupled with a side hustle but I find time to engage people I cherish. It's not that hard for real and by the way she communicates with my Mom sometimes so it doesn't mean she don't have my time.
I'll just do well to leave her alone.

NOTE
Don't know how this post made it to FP, y'all saying I'm billing her need to read the post fgs.
She calls my Mom sometimes, that's why I'm bothered why she's refused to answer my messages. Having someone abroad doesn't mean you'll bill them, don't know why Y'all be thinking this way.

Time is expensive to anyone, especially anyone working on shifts abroad. If she has some time to communicate with your mom, why do you need her to create extra time to communicate with you? Why can't you tell your mom whatever you want to say so she can answer all questions at once and focus on her life? Not everyone has the time to sit on social media responding to everyone trying to start a chat with them- that's pure waste of time. If she was living in places like Ajegunle, Ikorodu and all local places in Nigeria, would you be looking for her like this? Of course not, na abroad people una dey wan associate with.

Is it not through free whatshap communication that everyone started befriending anyone with a foreign number?

Do you know how many of her old school-mates that may be bugging her phone with all forms of whatshap chats and at the end, it's billing from the ones still in Nigeria?

Why should she waste her time communicating with so many people when 95% of those bugging your phone through Whatsapp or Facebook are out there to extort you? Everyone in diaspora is smarter now and have left sentiments alone.

Entitlement mentality will kill africans one day

Ten06:
Maybe she had a bad dream where you are chasing her with cutlass. Stop telling people about your life. Lol

Nobody knows me personally here so I feel it's a safe space to share problems..lol

Cooolme:
I have a stepsister living abroad, the daughter of my mom. She's been there since childhood, raised by her father, and has become independent.

Despite the physical distance, she has been supportive, particularly to my mom. Although she occasionally sends money to my mom, it's never quite enough for her.

I share a unique bond with her; we've always been close, even during her visit. The last time she sent me money was during my 100 level when things were tough. However, my focus shifted from financial help to maintaining a connection with her.

Recently, I noticed a change. Since July, she has been snubbing my messages, a puzzling behavior considering I don't seek financial assistance. I've made it a point to check on her regularly, something she mentioned our mom doesn't do. At my level now if she needs money I can even send for her but her recent attitude has totally changed my mind towards her. I'm contemplating blocking her and ending contact, as it seems that's what she wants.

It's a challenging situation, and I'm curious if anyone here has experienced anything similar.

Daughter of your Biological momma--but another father is Ur Half sister .

If Ur mummy marry New husband🧔 and the New sexy husband brings children from Another Marriage. Those are Ur step brothers n stepsisters & that Is Ur step father. U his stepkid. Genetically/DNA /biology nothing relate U with the step siblings.

If the New husband produces New kids with Ur biological mom. Those are Ur half siblings. By blood 🎈🛑 U share l parent. U share the same mother. Blood/DNA 🧬 things, U are 50% biological siblings but Not 100%
Half siblings who share same mother but different fathers are also called Maternal half siblings or uterine siblings.

Half siblings who share same biological Daddy same father but different mothers are also known as agnate siblings or paternal half-siblings.

Guy l suprise for Ur post say Ur half sibling mommy pikin dey snob U. Omo from experience, children born by one woman even for different fathers are much closer and share stronger Bond than children sharing same father. Children sharing same biological father only are not 🚫 always that close in comparison to kids with same mother ;especially if the woman pack all the kids from their different fathers raise them all together from childhood. Anywhere she dey go dem follow her.

I think it's cos Ur Yaki sister grew up
With her father. No everyday childhood memories together or growing up memories together like normal siblings when momma collect irrespective of fathers .Mothers bring kids together fathers don't have time.
Biko if she snub U snub am back.

Have you been asking her for too much money?

Exactly time is expensive, She may be young this is why she is dramatic, when she reach that stage in Life, she will understand.

From texting to blocking, what a pikin.

MemoriesAndMe:
Time is expensive to anyone, especially anyone working on shifts abroad. If she has some time to communicate your mom, why do you need her to create extra time to communicate with you? Why can't you tell your mom whatever you want to say so she can answer all questions at once and focused on her life? If she was living in places like Ajegunle, Ikorodu and all local places in Nigeria, would you be looking for her like this? Of course not, na abroad people una dey wan associate with.

Is it not through free whatshap communications that everyone started befriending anyone with a foreign number?

Do you know how many of her old school mates that may be bugging her phone with all forms of whatshap chats and at the end, it's billing from the one in Nigeria?

Why should she waste her time communicating with so many people when 95% of those bugging your phone through Whatsapp or Facebook are out there to extort you? Everyone in diaspora is smarter now and have left sentiments alone.

Cooolme:
I've not experienced such before tbh, I grew up being loved and very bad at this detachment game y'all claim to have (learning tho) but someone you Video call, talk with for hours just stop communicating with you totally when you know you did nothing wrong, it's weird now. In this case it's not a friend or partner rather a very close relative you have a strong bond with.
I have time on my hands though, it's my grumble not yours.

You don't get it. People everywhere go through so many serious challenges and because of this, may start having trust issues. That's understandable. So give her some space. It's not a bad idea.

Cooolme:
I have a stepsister living abroad, the daughter of my mom. She's been there since childhood, raised by her father, and has become independent.

Despite the physical distance, she has been supportive, particularly to my mom. Although she occasionally sends money to my mom, it's never quite enough for her.

I share a unique bond with her; we've always been close, even during her visit. The last time she sent me money was during my 100 level when things were tough. However, my focus shifted from financial help to maintaining a connection with her.

Recently, I noticed a change. Since July, she has been snubbing my messages, a puzzling behavior considering I don't seek financial assistance. I've made it a point to check on her regularly, something she mentioned our mom doesn't do. At my level now if she needs money I can even send for her but her recent attitude has totally changed my mind towards her. I'm contemplating blocking her and ending contact, as it seems that's what she wants.

It's a challenging situation, and I'm curious if anyone here has experienced anything similar.

Leave her alone and face your hustle. Simple.



I don't like depending on people for anything.

Africans could become useless, alway entitled, but cannot do good things for themselves.

Now everyone of them is the center of the universe.

Cutehector:
Entitlement mentality will kill africans one day

Appletek:
Your mama na mumu. Foolish beggar. Na so una use begging pursue am.

Hahahahahahahaha 😂😂

Cooolme:
I have a stepsister living abroad, the daughter of my mom. She's been there since childhood, raised by her father, and has become independent.

Despite the physical distance, she has been supportive, particularly to my mom. Although she occasionally sends money to my mom, it's never quite enough for her.

I share a unique bond with her; we've always been close, even during her visit. The last time she sent me money was during my 100 level when things were tough. However, my focus shifted from financial help to maintaining a connection with her.

Recently, I noticed a change. Since July, she has been snubbing my messages, a puzzling behavior considering I don't seek financial assistance. I've made it a point to check on her regularly, something she mentioned our mom doesn't do. At my level now if she needs money I can even send for her but her recent attitude has totally changed my mind towards her. I'm contemplating blocking her and ending contact, as it seems that's what she wants.

It's a challenging situation, and I'm curious if anyone here has experienced anything similar.

leave that biatchhh alone