₦airaland Forum

UnproudLife:
So it happened that at this certain time, I was running a lucrative business that had so much cashflow., to the tune of about 2-4m monthly and I married my long-time girlfriend whom I disvirgined and had been dating for 7 years.

The moment we married and started the family journey, I tried making conversations about having a core family standard that would make harmony stand the test of time. Note that I am a man who is disciplined and goal-oriented. So first I approached my wife with a conversation on how to both make meaningful contributions in getting the family from point A to B at all times, to be more detailed, one of the conversations we had was about our finances because I also mentored her in the same business and she was raking in cash as well and was profitable.

I asked her that we make it a habit of both of us making contributions, having a certain joint account where we drop in cash from a certain amount we make sure we get paid monthly from our businesses. This was because while I was a reasonable spender who knows that if I go broke nobody got my back in the whole wide world. I'm the kinda person who when I spend, let's say for example, 200k just knows I'm worth times 30 of that but even with that I didn't have a concrete structure in business, I just spend money or do things as though my business was an extension of me, which the same was my wife's as well. And this was the reason I wanted us to make the conversation and also do things together. So I told her when we get paid monthly from our businesses we send a certain percentage of it to a joint account to run the family and if I was doing let's say 70k she should do like 30k because, with all honesty, I valued her business at if not half of mine or slightly above it was close at the time. And this was immediately we got married oh.

I was met with strong refusal, as she told me I married her and it was my duty to cater for everything, but as a patient person that I am in not making my judgement rashly I kept trying to convince her. I did till when it dawned on me that we was stern with her objection. And then this created in me a sense of deep selfishness from my wife and also note that I wasn't ever nosey about her income and even though I had a way to access her accounts to monitor Everything I wasn't interested and I was being the sole provider in the family while I watched my wife spend her money how she liked, making decisions that should involve me with her sister and calling some things to surprise me, and I don't mean it negatively.

It happened that i started a project in building a house 3years before we married which I'd credit to her sisters's advice and by the time we married we were already done with the roofing, remaining plastering and the rest. We were living at a very moderate house in town but had this project at a suburb in lagos which we all know that as a lagosian is still Lagos but only that the area would be less expensive. So at a time we were planning moving to a better apartment in town when her sister and her friend advised we pour money in completing our own place to move in. After much convincing I agreed and God blessed the most during this period in business so I had a dream house kind of finishing to the interior and we moved in.

During this time we were managing living at our business place because I was still accommodating her in my business space and we lived there and went home ones or twice in 2 weeks as it was easier with my driving. We then had a certain disagreement that made my wife without my agreement move her business and everything to that house and the area sighting her sister advicing it be done. I winked at it for peace to reign and because I wasn't a fool. Sorry without having to correct what I typed up there, this was the real account of what happened. When we had our first child she moved directly there and I went home weekends while running both businesses with me just directing her staffs and guiding them with discipline. We all know when you leave business for strangers it's OYO but all that doesn't mean I was also having access to her money, the money went to her while I managed the business.

This also was playing out while we dated and got married in how she never likes making any expenditure in even the cost of executing her jobs, and she would rather blackmail which I don't buy and because at those times I stick to mindset in business she'd rebel and take rash decision that would later backfire. So that was how she came one day and moved her everything to the area where we built saying her sister advised it.

I was a faithful man, a born again personality who ever since I gave my life to Christ about 5years to our marriage I stopped having fornication even with her or anyone and till that point in the marriage. So as she had moved, ye little things I knew in her business started diminishing while I was running the family financially. But this lady was always making me feel less than a man because she was so so not submissive even though I married her with the us being both core Christians and born again where she was even more fired up than me so we all knew submissiveness was the watchword but she wouldn't sub to it at this point and when I was home she'd make life miserable for me shouting in an area that the voice travels far, insult my life telling me that she regretted marrying me because I was a person who just wouldn't budge and I used to say I don't "think" as in the thinking that leads to depression and I guess this was why she wasn't having it. I always found ways to channel my thoughts to things positive that gets me going and even forgiving her on time while she sometimes take days to stop keeping malice.

This lady graduated to the aspect of telling me she stooped so low marrying me and I could go out and meet other ladies that she wouldn't even give a damn, and this went on for a long time. Without exaggeration, I myself was someone that in her words she feel for initially because of my looks although I was 5"7 and she like 5"6 in height which isn't that short for a man. I knew how young in thought and look I was when I start taking care of myself and dressing nice again and without a doubt an handsome man, so it got to a point I said to myself I've had enough. At this time I was already lusting at my spec in ladies out there in which I married her like but she refused to remain at. I brushed off and even while being in my early 30s I had several ladies saying I looked 23-26 in age and I started meeting ladies and having affairs with multiple through platforms and it was mind-blowing to me because they were telling me I looked better in person even though the profile pictures I had were compelling themselves. So I had several young ladies wishing we were dating for real but u didn't want that and wouldn't lie to get them laid with promises but the only lie I told was that I wasn't married neither with kids which some weren't even suspecting not to talk of asking such. But something was just not clicking with the way guys if this age behave when I relate with them and this is when we have more deeper relations and then they start sensing the nature of responsibility which makes them ask if I was married.

So at this point I said to myself, I was separated from my wife and I told her in several occasions because I wasn't going home as often as before she noticed all the changes in my looks but cared less. I was so far gone in having other ladies that I didn't even know what could ever make me wanna get back with her again. But in all these I was still a man who doesn't believe in divorce, which is what I always tell her made her misbehave. Then lemme note this. I was so far gone playing churchy Al these years I never knew the age had turned around and ladies were now so much for sale, I could remember hearing the word hookup for the first time 2 years ago when I had started contemplating cheating and I turned so many girls down on those platforms when I understood what hookup meant. I mostly kept them friends online for whining and all and I went off without meeting anyone until last year, that same last year by almost the middle of the year I had my first encounter with a lady who was almost begging I had s*X with her right in my car as the car was tinted at the back, and this was while being friends. I refused and explained I had never done it before. But a month later I started getting in the act until miraculously this year at mid year I had been longing for a change in lifestyle when I got the gift of repentance right in church and I just at this moment didn't care what my wife had ever done to me, I just forgave her in my heart, asked for forgiveness from God. Then it has been happening lately by then that she had been begging me and her sister was saying she in the person of my wife was already fed up and wanted to beg back in good terms with me but you know basking in the love of flesh I wasn't into it and knowing she was the kind that goes back to her vomit. But at this point I determined to make her come where I was and then we reconcile. But shortly after I did restitution with her and told her all I had done and what she made be go into but to my surprise she was so disappointed crying and telling me all sorts which was surprising to me because I expected this woman should have already seen the writing on the wall because I don't know how to pretend at all but she said she never suspected that she knew I was a Christian. Although I played a clean game but was was obvious was the fact that I changed in looks and all and shouldn't that be glaring. And now she only sober occasionally when the thoughts kicks in

My main problem now is that, while my first child is a copy of me, I started seeing the looks of my sister in law's last born in my last kid, which my mum has vaguely noted and I seconded. We can't even nurture the thought as we just said it. But personally each day I now stay with the kid I keep looking the semblance and thinking what if my bro in law which is my sister in law's hobby fathered this child. You see that would have out the child conception at about 3 months before I ever started having affairs outside marriage. I just wish to know what you guys think because I haven't even been able to ask any question relating to that as my wife just seem to off to ever fall into such.

Please ignore any typo as it was long and I'm trying to get by with a new course and it'll be hard to go through what I've written again. Pardon me

To clear your doubts, do a DNA test secretely

Person never chop belleful not to talk of reading the easay... mchteeeeeeew!!!

Carcholce:
Let me summarize it:

OP married his long time girlfriend and taught her how to fish, She started fishing and started being disrespectful and not submissive. The thing vex OP. OP that was once a church boy was forced to start doing hookup and bending doggy inside his car. The wife noticed but She nor send OP. After OP have had his fill of hookup, he came to his senses and gave his life to Christ. It was after his eyes has cleared that he realized his last born resembles his sisters in law last born.

Did the OPs wife mistakenly fell on her sisters bed and rode her brother in law till he came inside her? OP is confused. So am I.

The question OP is asking now is “Who get the pikin”

You're are simply the best. I loved the way you summarized it.

UnproudLife:
So it happened that at this certain time, I was running a lucrative business that had so much cashflow., to the tune of about 2-4m monthly and I married my long-time girlfriend whom I disvirgined and had been dating for 7 years.

The moment we married and started the family journey, I tried making conversations about having a core family standard that would make harmony stand the test of time. Note that I am a man who is disciplined and goal-oriented. So first I approached my wife with a conversation on how to both make meaningful contributions in getting the family from point A to B at all times, to be more detailed, one of the conversations we had was about our finances because I also mentored her in the same business and she was raking in cash as well and was profitable.

I asked her that we make it a habit of both of us making contributions, having a certain joint account where we drop in cash from a certain amount we make sure we get paid monthly from our businesses. This was because while I was a reasonable spender who knows that if I go broke nobody got my back in the whole wide world. I'm the kinda person who when I spend, let's say for example, 200k just knows I'm worth times 30 of that but even with that I didn't have a concrete structure in business, I just spend money or do things as though my business was an extension of me, which the same was my wife's as well. And this was the reason I wanted us to make the conversation and also do things together. So I told her when we get paid monthly from our businesses we send a certain percentage of it to a joint account to run the family and if I was doing let's say 70k she should do like 30k because, with all honesty, I valued her business at if not half of mine or slightly above it was close at the time. And this was immediately we got married oh.

I was met with strong refusal, as she told me I married her and it was my duty to cater for everything, but as a patient person that I am in not making my judgement rashly I kept trying to convince her. I did till when it dawned on me that we was stern with her objection. And then this created in me a sense of deep selfishness from my wife and also note that I wasn't ever nosey about her income and even though I had a way to access her accounts to monitor Everything I wasn't interested and I was being the sole provider in the family while I watched my wife spend her money how she liked, making decisions that should involve me with her sister and calling some things to surprise me, and I don't mean it negatively.

It happened that i started a project in building a house 3years before we married which I'd credit to her sisters's advice and by the time we married we were already done with the roofing, remaining plastering and the rest. We were living at a very moderate house in town but had this project at a suburb in lagos which we all know that as a lagosian is still Lagos but only that the area would be less expensive. So at a time we were planning moving to a better apartment in town when her sister and her friend advised we pour money in completing our own place to move in. After much convincing I agreed and God blessed the most during this period in business so I had a dream house kind of finishing to the interior and we moved in.

During this time we were managing living at our business place because I was still accommodating her in my business space and we lived there and went home ones or twice in 2 weeks as it was easier with my driving. We then had a certain disagreement that made my wife without my agreement move her business and everything to that house and the area sighting her sister advicing it be done. I winked at it for peace to reign and because I wasn't a fool. Sorry without having to correct what I typed up there, this was the real account of what happened. When we had our first child she moved directly there and I went home weekends while running both businesses with me just directing her staffs and guiding them with discipline. We all know when you leave business for strangers it's OYO but all that doesn't mean I was also having access to her money, the money went to her while I managed the business.

This also was playing out while we dated and got married in how she never likes making any expenditure in even the cost of executing her jobs, and she would rather blackmail which I don't buy and because at those times I stick to mindset in business she'd rebel and take rash decision that would later backfire. So that was how she came one day and moved her everything to the area where we built saying her sister advised it.

I was a faithful man, a born again personality who ever since I gave my life to Christ about 5years to our marriage I stopped having fornication even with her or anyone and till that point in the marriage. So as she had moved, ye little things I knew in her business started diminishing while I was running the family financially. But this lady was always making me feel less than a man because she was so so not submissive even though I married her with the us being both core Christians and born again where she was even more fired up than me so we all knew submissiveness was the watchword but she wouldn't sub to it at this point and when I was home she'd make life miserable for me shouting in an area that the voice travels far, insult my life telling me that she regretted marrying me because I was a person who just wouldn't budge and I used to say I don't "think" as in the thinking that leads to depression and I guess this was why she wasn't having it. I always found ways to channel my thoughts to things positive that gets me going and even forgiving her on time while she sometimes take days to stop keeping malice.

This lady graduated to the aspect of telling me she stooped so low marrying me and I could go out and meet other ladies that she wouldn't even give a damn, and this went on for a long time. Without exaggeration, I myself was someone that in her words she feel for initially because of my looks although I was 5"7 and she like 5"6 in height which isn't that short for a man. I knew how young in thought and look I was when I start taking care of myself and dressing nice again and without a doubt an handsome man, so it got to a point I said to myself I've had enough. At this time I was already lusting at my spec in ladies out there in which I married her like but she refused to remain at. I brushed off and even while being in my early 30s I had several ladies saying I looked 23-26 in age and I started meeting ladies and having affairs with multiple through platforms and it was mind-blowing to me because they were telling me I looked better in person even though the profile pictures I had were compelling themselves. So I had several young ladies wishing we were dating for real but u didn't want that and wouldn't lie to get them laid with promises but the only lie I told was that I wasn't married neither with kids which some weren't even suspecting not to talk of asking such. But something was just not clicking with the way guys if this age behave when I relate with them and this is when we have more deeper relations and then they start sensing the nature of responsibility which makes them ask if I was married.

So at this point I said to myself, I was separated from my wife and I told her in several occasions because I wasn't going home as often as before she noticed all the changes in my looks but cared less. I was so far gone in having other ladies that I didn't even know what could ever make me wanna get back with her again. But in all these I was still a man who doesn't believe in divorce, which is what I always tell her made her misbehave. Then lemme note this. I was so far gone playing churchy Al these years I never knew the age had turned around and ladies were now so much for sale, I could remember hearing the word hookup for the first time 2 years ago when I had started contemplating cheating and I turned so many girls down on those platforms when I understood what hookup meant. I mostly kept them friends online for whining and all and I went off without meeting anyone until last year, that same last year by almost the middle of the year I had my first encounter with a lady who was almost begging I had s*X with her right in my car as the car was tinted at the back, and this was while being friends. I refused and explained I had never done it before. But a month later I started getting in the act until miraculously this year at mid year I had been longing for a change in lifestyle when I got the gift of repentance right in church and I just at this moment didn't care what my wife had ever done to me, I just forgave her in my heart, asked for forgiveness from God. Then it has been happening lately by then that she had been begging me and her sister was saying she in the person of my wife was already fed up and wanted to beg back in good terms with me but you know basking in the love of flesh I wasn't into it and knowing she was the kind that goes back to her vomit. But at this point I determined to make her come where I was and then we reconcile. But shortly after I did restitution with her and told her all I had done and what she made be go into but to my surprise she was so disappointed crying and telling me all sorts which was surprising to me because I expected this woman should have already seen the writing on the wall because I don't know how to pretend at all but she said she never suspected that she knew I was a Christian. Although I played a clean game but was was obvious was the fact that I changed in looks and all and shouldn't that be glaring. And now she only sober occasionally when the thoughts kicks in

My main problem now is that, while my first child is a copy of me, I started seeing the looks of my sister in law's last born in my last kid, which my mum has vaguely noted and I seconded. We can't even nurture the thought as we just said it. But personally each day I now stay with the kid I keep looking the semblance and thinking what if my bro in law which is my sister in law's hobby fathered this child. You see that would have out the child conception at about 3 months before I ever started having affairs outside marriage. I just wish to know what you guys think because I haven't even been able to ask any question relating to that as my wife just seem to off to ever fall into such.

Please ignore any typo as it was long and I'm trying to get by with a new course and it'll be hard to go through what I've written again. Pardon me

Oga go for DNA test

UnproudLife:
So it happened that at this certain time, I was running a lucrative business that had so much cashflow., to the tune of about 2-4m monthly and I married my long-time girlfriend whom I disvirgined and had been dating for 7 years.

The moment we married and started the family journey, I tried making conversations about having a core family standard that would make harmony stand the test of time. Note that I am a man who is disciplined and goal-oriented. So first I approached my wife with a conversation on how to both make meaningful contributions in getting the family from point A to B at all times, to be more detailed, one of the conversations we had was about our finances because I also mentored her in the same business and she was raking in cash as well and was profitable.

I asked her that we make it a habit of both of us making contributions, having a certain joint account where we drop in cash from a certain amount we make sure we get paid monthly from our businesses. This was because while I was a reasonable spender who knows that if I go broke nobody got my back in the whole wide world. I'm the kinda person who when I spend, let's say for example, 200k just knows I'm worth times 30 of that but even with that I didn't have a concrete structure in business, I just spend money or do things as though my business was an extension of me, which the same was my wife's as well. And this was the reason I wanted us to make the conversation and also do things together. So I told her when we get paid monthly from our businesses we send a certain percentage of it to a joint account to run the family and if I was doing let's say 70k she should do like 30k because, with all honesty, I valued her business at if not half of mine or slightly above it was close at the time. And this was immediately we got married oh.

I was met with strong refusal, as she told me I married her and it was my duty to cater for everything, but as a patient person that I am in not making my judgement rashly I kept trying to convince her. I did till when it dawned on me that we was stern with her objection. And then this created in me a sense of deep selfishness from my wife and also note that I wasn't ever nosey about her income and even though I had a way to access her accounts to monitor Everything I wasn't interested and I was being the sole provider in the family while I watched my wife spend her money how she liked, making decisions that should involve me with her sister and calling some things to surprise me, and I don't mean it negatively.

It happened that i started a project in building a house 3years before we married which I'd credit to her sisters's advice and by the time we married we were already done with the roofing, remaining plastering and the rest. We were living at a very moderate house in town but had this project at a suburb in lagos which we all know that as a lagosian is still Lagos but only that the area would be less expensive. So at a time we were planning moving to a better apartment in town when her sister and her friend advised we pour money in completing our own place to move in. After much convincing I agreed and God blessed the most during this period in business so I had a dream house kind of finishing to the interior and we moved in.

During this time we were managing living at our business place because I was still accommodating her in my business space and we lived there and went home ones or twice in 2 weeks as it was easier with my driving. We then had a certain disagreement that made my wife without my agreement move her business and everything to that house and the area sighting her sister advicing it be done. I winked at it for peace to reign and because I wasn't a fool. Sorry without having to correct what I typed up there, this was the real account of what happened. When we had our first child she moved directly there and I went home weekends while running both businesses with me just directing her staffs and guiding them with discipline. We all know when you leave business for strangers it's OYO but all that doesn't mean I was also having access to her money, the money went to her while I managed the business.

This also was playing out while we dated and got married in how she never likes making any expenditure in even the cost of executing her jobs, and she would rather blackmail which I don't buy and because at those times I stick to mindset in business she'd rebel and take rash decision that would later backfire. So that was how she came one day and moved her everything to the area where we built saying her sister advised it.

I was a faithful man, a born again personality who ever since I gave my life to Christ about 5years to our marriage I stopped having fornication even with her or anyone and till that point in the marriage. So as she had moved, ye little things I knew in her business started diminishing while I was running the family financially. But this lady was always making me feel less than a man because she was so so not submissive even though I married her with the us being both core Christians and born again where she was even more fired up than me so we all knew submissiveness was the watchword but she wouldn't sub to it at this point and when I was home she'd make life miserable for me shouting in an area that the voice travels far, insult my life telling me that she regretted marrying me because I was a person who just wouldn't budge and I used to say I don't "think" as in the thinking that leads to depression and I guess this was why she wasn't having it. I always found ways to channel my thoughts to things positive that gets me going and even forgiving her on time while she sometimes take days to stop keeping malice.

This lady graduated to the aspect of telling me she stooped so low marrying me and I could go out and meet other ladies that she wouldn't even give a damn, and this went on for a long time. Without exaggeration, I myself was someone that in her words she feel for initially because of my looks although I was 5"7 and she like 5"6 in height which isn't that short for a man. I knew how young in thought and look I was when I start taking care of myself and dressing nice again and without a doubt an handsome man, so it got to a point I said to myself I've had enough. At this time I was already lusting at my spec in ladies out there in which I married her like but she refused to remain at. I brushed off and even while being in my early 30s I had several ladies saying I looked 23-26 in age and I started meeting ladies and having affairs with multiple through platforms and it was mind-blowing to me because they were telling me I looked better in person even though the profile pictures I had were compelling themselves. So I had several young ladies wishing we were dating for real but u didn't want that and wouldn't lie to get them laid with promises but the only lie I told was that I wasn't married neither with kids which some weren't even suspecting not to talk of asking such. But something was just not clicking with the way guys if this age behave when I relate with them and this is when we have more deeper relations and then they start sensing the nature of responsibility which makes them ask if I was married.

So at this point I said to myself, I was separated from my wife and I told her in several occasions because I wasn't going home as often as before she noticed all the changes in my looks but cared less. I was so far gone in having other ladies that I didn't even know what could ever make me wanna get back with her again. But in all these I was still a man who doesn't believe in divorce, which is what I always tell her made her misbehave. Then lemme note this. I was so far gone playing churchy Al these years I never knew the age had turned around and ladies were now so much for sale, I could remember hearing the word hookup for the first time 2 years ago when I had started contemplating cheating and I turned so many girls down on those platforms when I understood what hookup meant. I mostly kept them friends online for whining and all and I went off without meeting anyone until last year, that same last year by almost the middle of the year I had my first encounter with a lady who was almost begging I had s*X with her right in my car as the car was tinted at the back, and this was while being friends. I refused and explained I had never done it before. But a month later I started getting in the act until miraculously this year at mid year I had been longing for a change in lifestyle when I got the gift of repentance right in church and I just at this moment didn't care what my wife had ever done to me, I just forgave her in my heart, asked for forgiveness from God. Then it has been happening lately by then that she had been begging me and her sister was saying she in the person of my wife was already fed up and wanted to beg back in good terms with me but you know basking in the love of flesh I wasn't into it and knowing she was the kind that goes back to her vomit. But at this point I determined to make her come where I was and then we reconcile. But shortly after I did restitution with her and told her all I had done and what she made be go into but to my surprise she was so disappointed crying and telling me all sorts which was surprising to me because I expected this woman should have already seen the writing on the wall because I don't know how to pretend at all but she said she never suspected that she knew I was a Christian. Although I played a clean game but was was obvious was the fact that I changed in looks and all and shouldn't that be glaring. And now she only sober occasionally when the thoughts kicks in

My main problem now is that, while my first child is a copy of me, I started seeing the looks of my sister in law's last born in my last kid, which my mum has vaguely noted and I seconded. We can't even nurture the thought as we just said it. But personally each day I now stay with the kid I keep looking the semblance and thinking what if my bro in law which is my sister in law's hobby fathered this child. You see that would have out the child conception at about 3 months before I ever started having affairs outside marriage. I just wish to know what you guys think because I haven't even been able to ask any question relating to that as my wife just seem to off to ever fall into such.

Please ignore any typo as it was long and I'm trying to get by with a new course and it'll be hard to go through what I've written again. Pardon me

I'm kinda in the position where you are except for the DNA ish. You can reach out if you'd like to.

What i do most times is just look the other way and focus on myself and my children. See her as one of the very many faces that would come so close to your life and not the (one)/last.

Reach out.

/
OP is a victim of two things that kill most marriages:
1. Finance.
2. Infidelity.

Financial discussion is necessary before marriage. Your partner may be the best human being on earth but his/her attitude towards money will definitely mar or make you. Avoid spendrifths at all cost--they are insatiable. There are people who make a lot of money but they are always broke.

/

mrblessed:
It looks more of tale/fabrication than being real.

Really? Something wey I experience. Ok o

UnproudLife:
Really? Something wey I experience. Ok o

hope your have commenced the process of conducting the dna??

Point of correction, women.hate men.that are cruel and authoritative , so let this stick into your brain, do not know where you got that ideology from about women liking men that are hard it is a big lie from the pit of hell,


This mindset has destroy many marriages than.expected.

Archworld:
Secretly take the child for a DNA test .
If you have repented from your sins or sexual acts and you believe that God has forgiven you , there was no need of telling your wife about the acts. It would definitely demoralized her .
Many women do change when they begin to see money . Many are in a relationship today or married because they are not wealthy. Once a woman is wealthy, she thinks she doesn't need a man while on the other hand, once a man start getting wealthy, he thinks of getting married or think more of his family.
I once asked ladies, if truly you are building home with your husband and the children are yours(not strangers) why can't you spend for your home? Why on earth are you making money if you can't spend it on your family? The children are yours, the man is yours and you are both building home together, so why on earth are you making the money if you can spend it on them?
They just believe that it is the man's right to take of his family.. it's true . But why the hell are you making money ? Are you not supposed to be a helper ? Many men die early because of this . And if the man's business crashes that means the home will scatter . What a life !! I don't need my wife's money but I can't marry a selfish woman

The mistake you made is that , you dated her for 7 years and noticed her behavior and yet you still went ahead to marry her without thinking about the future.

I didn't notice shishi.... She changed.

Even her sister's friend told me openly that women pretend and change.

Biisola:
You ve always complained of your wife being a cheat

r u the one cheating with her?

Bush2013:
hope your have commenced the process of conducting the dna??

Not as financially capable as I once was.

Oga go and rest, your wife discover you cheated on her, it is your councious that is disturbing you, because she caught you cheating and she was not bothered so you thought she is also cheating reason she is not bother .


Dey play mumu uncle.

Let me tell you, when a woman starts making money, two things that matters to her is her kids and that thing giving her money, she will not send you again, reason when you were cheating she was never concerned .

Your conscious is really catching you.
After cheating you think she also cheated

Go and do DNA nah,

A cheat always assumes others are cheat.


Nah only you cheat ,nah only you come back house dey complain.

Xkale1996:
Oga go for DNA test

All of Una dey shout DNA, I say d money no dey ooo, besides the child is so small and too attached to mum.

You married a terrible Woman who used her Virginity as a trophy to sway you, thinking she is a good Xtian..
Maybe her sisters husband has Nack your wife. The control the sister have over your wife is coming straight from the Dick of your sisters husband. That is if your sisters husband has slept with her, the man is controlling both Pussies😂

Single!! marry well, if not your wife can push you to do a lot of rubbish and even drag you to hell.
DNA test ASAP bro.....

Please come back and tell us the result of your DNA test....

We will like to see the end of this drama. You can tag me pls.
God bless you and give you peace

UnproudLife:
So it happened that at this certain time, I was running a lucrative business that had so much cashflow., to the tune of about 2-4m monthly and I married my long-time girlfriend whom I disvirgined and had been dating for 7 years.

The moment we married and started the family journey, I tried making conversations about having a core family standard that would make harmony stand the test of time. Note that I am a man who is disciplined and goal-oriented. So first I approached my wife with a conversation on how to both make meaningful contributions in getting the family from point A to B at all times, to be more detailed, one of the conversations we had was about our finances because I also mentored her in the same business and she was raking in cash as well and was profitable.

I asked her that we make it a habit of both of us making contributions, having a certain joint account where we drop in cash from a certain amount we make sure we get paid monthly from our businesses. This was because while I was a reasonable spender who knows that if I go broke nobody got my back in the whole wide world. I'm the kinda person who when I spend, let's say for example, 200k just knows I'm worth times 30 of that but even with that I didn't have a concrete structure in business, I just spend money or do things as though my business was an extension of me, which the same was my wife's as well. And this was the reason I wanted us to make the conversation and also do things together. So I told her when we get paid monthly from our businesses we send a certain percentage of it to a joint account to run the family and if I was doing let's say 70k she should do like 30k because, with all honesty, I valued her business at if not half of mine or slightly above it was close at the time. And this was immediately we got married oh.

I was met with strong refusal, as she told me I married her and it was my duty to cater for everything, but as a patient person that I am in not making my judgement rashly I kept trying to convince her. I did till when it dawned on me that we was stern with her objection. And then this created in me a sense of deep selfishness from my wife and also note that I wasn't ever nosey about her income and even though I had a way to access her accounts to monitor Everything I wasn't interested and I was being the sole provider in the family while I watched my wife spend her money how she liked, making decisions that should involve me with her sister and calling some things to surprise me, and I don't mean it negatively.

It happened that i started a project in building a house 3years before we married which I'd credit to her sisters's advice and by the time we married we were already done with the roofing, remaining plastering and the rest. We were living at a very moderate house in town but had this project at a suburb in lagos which we all know that as a lagosian is still Lagos but only that the area would be less expensive. So at a time we were planning moving to a better apartment in town when her sister and her friend advised we pour money in completing our own place to move in. After much convincing I agreed and God blessed the most during this period in business so I had a dream house kind of finishing to the interior and we moved in.

During this time we were managing living at our business place because I was still accommodating her in my business space and we lived there and went home ones or twice in 2 weeks as it was easier with my driving. We then had a certain disagreement that made my wife without my agreement move her business and everything to that house and the area sighting her sister advicing it be done. I winked at it for peace to reign and because I wasn't a fool. Sorry without having to correct what I typed up there, this was the real account of what happened. When we had our first child she moved directly there and I went home weekends while running both businesses with me just directing her staffs and guiding them with discipline. We all know when you leave business for strangers it's OYO but all that doesn't mean I was also having access to her money, the money went to her while I managed the business.

This also was playing out while we dated and got married in how she never likes making any expenditure in even the cost of executing her jobs, and she would rather blackmail which I don't buy and because at those times I stick to mindset in business she'd rebel and take rash decision that would later backfire. So that was how she came one day and moved her everything to the area where we built saying her sister advised it.

I was a faithful man, a born again personality who ever since I gave my life to Christ about 5years to our marriage I stopped having fornication even with her or anyone and till that point in the marriage. So as she had moved, ye little things I knew in her business started diminishing while I was running the family financially. But this lady was always making me feel less than a man because she was so so not submissive even though I married her with the us being both core Christians and born again where she was even more fired up than me so we all knew submissiveness was the watchword but she wouldn't sub to it at this point and when I was home she'd make life miserable for me shouting in an area that the voice travels far, insult my life telling me that she regretted marrying me because I was a person who just wouldn't budge and I used to say I don't "think" as in the thinking that leads to depression and I guess this was why she wasn't having it. I always found ways to channel my thoughts to things positive that gets me going and even forgiving her on time while she sometimes take days to stop keeping malice.

This lady graduated to the aspect of telling me she stooped so low marrying me and I could go out and meet other ladies that she wouldn't even give a damn, and this went on for a long time. Without exaggeration, I myself was someone that in her words she feel for initially because of my looks although I was 5"7 and she like 5"6 in height which isn't that short for a man. I knew how young in thought and look I was when I start taking care of myself and dressing nice again and without a doubt an handsome man, so it got to a point I said to myself I've had enough. At this time I was already lusting at my spec in ladies out there in which I married her like but she refused to remain at. I brushed off and even while being in my early 30s I had several ladies saying I looked 23-26 in age and I started meeting ladies and having affairs with multiple through platforms and it was mind-blowing to me because they were telling me I looked better in person even though the profile pictures I had were compelling themselves. So I had several young ladies wishing we were dating for real but u didn't want that and wouldn't lie to get them laid with promises but the only lie I told was that I wasn't married neither with kids which some weren't even suspecting not to talk of asking such. But something was just not clicking with the way guys if this age behave when I relate with them and this is when we have more deeper relations and then they start sensing the nature of responsibility which makes them ask if I was married.

So at this point I said to myself, I was separated from my wife and I told her in several occasions because I wasn't going home as often as before she noticed all the changes in my looks but cared less. I was so far gone in having other ladies that I didn't even know what could ever make me wanna get back with her again. But in all these I was still a man who doesn't believe in divorce, which is what I always tell her made her misbehave. Then lemme note this. I was so far gone playing churchy Al these years I never knew the age had turned around and ladies were now so much for sale, I could remember hearing the word hookup for the first time 2 years ago when I had started contemplating cheating and I turned so many girls down on those platforms when I understood what hookup meant. I mostly kept them friends online for whining and all and I went off without meeting anyone until last year, that same last year by almost the middle of the year I had my first encounter with a lady who was almost begging I had s*X with her right in my car as the car was tinted at the back, and this was while being friends. I refused and explained I had never done it before. But a month later I started getting in the act until miraculously this year at mid year I had been longing for a change in lifestyle when I got the gift of repentance right in church and I just at this moment didn't care what my wife had ever done to me, I just forgave her in my heart, asked for forgiveness from God. Then it has been happening lately by then that she had been begging me and her sister was saying she in the person of my wife was already fed up and wanted to beg back in good terms with me but you know basking in the love of flesh I wasn't into it and knowing she was the kind that goes back to her vomit. But at this point I determined to make her come where I was and then we reconcile. But shortly after I did restitution with her and told her all I had done and what she made be go into but to my surprise she was so disappointed crying and telling me all sorts which was surprising to me because I expected this woman should have already seen the writing on the wall because I don't know how to pretend at all but she said she never suspected that she knew I was a Christian. Although I played a clean game but was was obvious was the fact that I changed in looks and all and shouldn't that be glaring. And now she only sober occasionally when the thoughts kicks in

My main problem now is that, while my first child is a copy of me, I started seeing the looks of my sister in law's last born in my last kid, which my mum has vaguely noted and I seconded. We can't even nurture the thought as we just said it. But personally each day I now stay with the kid I keep looking the semblance and thinking what if my bro in law which is my sister in law's hobby fathered this child. You see that would have out the child conception at about 3 months before I ever started having affairs outside marriage. I just wish to know what you guys think because I haven't even been able to ask any question relating to that as my wife just seem to off to ever fall into such.

Please ignore any typo as it was long and I'm trying to get by with a new course and it'll be hard to go through what I've written again. Pardon me

Do DNA for both kids, even the one that you think looks like you.

After that, we can now look into the rest.

VULCAN:
I read your story from beginning to the end and I believe you are mostly telling the truth.

What I don't understand is you asking whether you should ask your wife if that child belongs to your brother in law.

Even when I was 16 I wouldnt have done such a silly thing.

Why can't you take the child to a DNA clinic and do the needful

Or you wanna tell us you don't know what a DNA Test is or you don't know that it's available in Lagos?

I would like to understand how you could know these things but be contemplating asking your wife if she is an adulterer.

It's unbelievable to me and I can't afford it at the moment.

lonipeter:
Do DNA for both kids, even the one that you think looks like you.

After that, we can now look into the rest.

"We" as in nairaland umunna?

Carcholce:
Wahala!!

I am not married but the points I noted from your post is that.

1. Don’t teach women how to fish, give them fish instead. When giving them the fish, make sure it’s only the head and the tail.

2. Most women will hate you if you are nice man. I don’t know where the hate comes from. It seems natural. You have to be cruel to them, always make them remember the wrong things you did instead of the good. They’ll love you more.

3. If your wife pushes you out with her nagging and disrespectful behavior, and you really go out and start cheating/fornicating, it’s a trap. When you fall into the trap, you’ll fall so hard that you’ll lose more than you can ever recover. This is the ultimate test most men fail

4. About your last born. Only God and DNA test knows the answer. Or you can simply approach your sister in law hubby and ask him if he mistakenly slept with your wife. Just be polite with the question.

delete ur last statement. Its foolish

Wait oooo u expect me to read this ur life's problem wey long pass alll the Epistles of Paul combined? Ur head dey pain u abi.....

This epistle dey make eye turn me.abeg someone shud pls summarise.

Carcholce:
2. Most women will hate you if you are nice man. I don’t know where the hate comes from. It seems natural. You have to be cruel to them, always make them remember the wrong things you did instead of the good. They’ll love you more.

You guys are so sick in your mentality it negates logical thinking

You are so used to damaged girls that you think all ladies are like them

Why would any sane human hate nice men? Why would any normal human love cruel men? What kind of sick thought process is this? Proper reasoning failed you or what?

Carcholce:
About your last born. Only God and DNA test knows the answer. Or you can simply approach your sister in law hubby and ask him if he mistakenly slept with your wife. Just be polite with the question.

How old are you? You can't be an adult to think like this

Truly kids have invaded nairaland

Bro those attacking your personality, it is either they are not married or they have never experienced problems in marriage.
If a man has no peace of mind in marriage, he either finds solace in Drinking or women or both.
I will not judge your frolicking with side chicks, because you were pushed to commit such. Thank God you have repented from such act.
You need to go and conduct DNA test if you are not comfortable with the looks of your kids not only the last child alone.
On no account should You asked your sister husband or in-law stupid question oo.
Just go fur the DNA.
Finally, a spouse that can't support You both finincally and morally shouldn't have a space your life.
Good luck Bro.

Carcholce:
Wahala!!

I am not married but the points I noted from your post is that.

1. Don’t teach women how to fish, give them fish instead. When giving them the fish, make sure it’s only the head and the tail.

2. Most women will hate you if you are nice man. I don’t know where the hate comes from. It seems natural. You have to be cruel to them, always make them remember the wrong things you did instead of the good. They’ll love you more.

3. If your wife pushes you out with her nagging and disrespectful behavior, and you really go out and start cheating/fornicating, it’s a trap. When you fall into the trap, you’ll fall so hard that you’ll lose more than you can ever recover. This is the ultimate test most men fail

4. About your last born. Only God and DNA test knows the answer. Or you can simply approach your sister in law hubby and ask him if he mistakenly slept with your wife. Just be polite with the question.

Very wise and good response.

UnproudLife:
So it happened that at this certain time, I was running a lucrative business that had so much cashflow., to the tune of about 2-4m monthly and I married my long-time girlfriend whom I disvirgined and had been dating for 7 years.

The moment we married and started the family journey, I tried making conversations about having a core family standard that would make harmony stand the test of time. Note that I am a man who is disciplined and goal-oriented. So first I approached my wife with a conversation on how to both make meaningful contributions in getting the family from point A to B at all times, to be more detailed, one of the conversations we had was about our finances because I also mentored her in the same business and she was raking in cash as well and was profitable.

I asked her that we make it a habit of both of us making contributions, having a certain joint account where we drop in cash from a certain amount we make sure we get paid monthly from our businesses. This was because while I was a reasonable spender who knows that if I go broke nobody got my back in the whole wide world. I'm the kinda person who when I spend, let's say for example, 200k just knows I'm worth times 30 of that but even with that I didn't have a concrete structure in business, I just spend money or do things as though my business was an extension of me, which the same was my wife's as well. And this was the reason I wanted us to make the conversation and also do things together. So I told her when we get paid monthly from our businesses we send a certain percentage of it to a joint account to run the family and if I was doing let's say 70k she should do like 30k because, with all honesty, I valued her business at if not half of mine or slightly above it was close at the time. And this was immediately we got married oh.

I was met with strong refusal, as she told me I married her and it was my duty to cater for everything, but as a patient person that I am in not making my judgement rashly I kept trying to convince her. I did till when it dawned on me that we was stern with her objection. And then this created in me a sense of deep selfishness from my wife and also note that I wasn't ever nosey about her income and even though I had a way to access her accounts to monitor Everything I wasn't interested and I was being the sole provider in the family while I watched my wife spend her money how she liked, making decisions that should involve me with her sister and calling some things to surprise me, and I don't mean it negatively.

It happened that i started a project in building a house 3years before we married which I'd credit to her sisters's advice and by the time we married we were already done with the roofing, remaining plastering and the rest. We were living at a very moderate house in town but had this project at a suburb in lagos which we all know that as a lagosian is still Lagos but only that the area would be less expensive. So at a time we were planning moving to a better apartment in town when her sister and her friend advised we pour money in completing our own place to move in. After much convincing I agreed and God blessed the most during this period in business so I had a dream house kind of finishing to the interior and we moved in.

During this time we were managing living at our business place because I was still accommodating her in my business space and we lived there and went home ones or twice in 2 weeks as it was easier with my driving. We then had a certain disagreement that made my wife without my agreement move her business and everything to that house and the area sighting her sister advicing it be done. I winked at it for peace to reign and because I wasn't a fool. Sorry without having to correct what I typed up there, this was the real account of what happened. When we had our first child she moved directly there and I went home weekends while running both businesses with me just directing her staffs and guiding them with discipline. We all know when you leave business for strangers it's OYO but all that doesn't mean I was also having access to her money, the money went to her while I managed the business.

This also was playing out while we dated and got married in how she never likes making any expenditure in even the cost of executing her jobs, and she would rather blackmail which I don't buy and because at those times I stick to mindset in business she'd rebel and take rash decision that would later backfire. So that was how she came one day and moved her everything to the area where we built saying her sister advised it.

I was a faithful man, a born again personality who ever since I gave my life to Christ about 5years to our marriage I stopped having fornication even with her or anyone and till that point in the marriage. So as she had moved, ye little things I knew in her business started diminishing while I was running the family financially. But this lady was always making me feel less than a man because she was so so not submissive even though I married her with the us being both core Christians and born again where she was even more fired up than me so we all knew submissiveness was the watchword but she wouldn't sub to it at this point and when I was home she'd make life miserable for me shouting in an area that the voice travels far, insult my life telling me that she regretted marrying me because I was a person who just wouldn't budge and I used to say I don't "think" as in the thinking that leads to depression and I guess this was why she wasn't having it. I always found ways to channel my thoughts to things positive that gets me going and even forgiving her on time while she sometimes take days to stop keeping malice.

This lady graduated to the aspect of telling me she stooped so low marrying me and I could go out and meet other ladies that she wouldn't even give a damn, and this went on for a long time. Without exaggeration, I myself was someone that in her words she feel for initially because of my looks although I was 5"7 and she like 5"6 in height which isn't that short for a man. I knew how young in thought and look I was when I start taking care of myself and dressing nice again and without a doubt an handsome man, so it got to a point I said to myself I've had enough. At this time I was already lusting at my spec in ladies out there in which I married her like but she refused to remain at. I brushed off and even while being in my early 30s I had several ladies saying I looked 23-26 in age and I started meeting ladies and having affairs with multiple through platforms and it was mind-blowing to me because they were telling me I looked better in person even though the profile pictures I had were compelling themselves. So I had several young ladies wishing we were dating for real but u didn't want that and wouldn't lie to get them laid with promises but the only lie I told was that I wasn't married neither with kids which some weren't even suspecting not to talk of asking such. But something was just not clicking with the way guys if this age behave when I relate with them and this is when we have more deeper relations and then they start sensing the nature of responsibility which makes them ask if I was married.

So at this point I said to myself, I was separated from my wife and I told her in several occasions because I wasn't going home as often as before she noticed all the changes in my looks but cared less. I was so far gone in having other ladies that I didn't even know what could ever make me wanna get back with her again. But in all these I was still a man who doesn't believe in divorce, which is what I always tell her made her misbehave. Then lemme note this. I was so far gone playing churchy Al these years I never knew the age had turned around and ladies were now so much for sale, I could remember hearing the word hookup for the first time 2 years ago when I had started contemplating cheating and I turned so many girls down on those platforms when I understood what hookup meant. I mostly kept them friends online for whining and all and I went off without meeting anyone until last year, that same last year by almost the middle of the year I had my first encounter with a lady who was almost begging I had s*X with her right in my car as the car was tinted at the back, and this was while being friends. I refused and explained I had never done it before. But a month later I started getting in the act until miraculously this year at mid year I had been longing for a change in lifestyle when I got the gift of repentance right in church and I just at this moment didn't care what my wife had ever done to me, I just forgave her in my heart, asked for forgiveness from God. Then it has been happening lately by then that she had been begging me and her sister was saying she in the person of my wife was already fed up and wanted to beg back in good terms with me but you know basking in the love of flesh I wasn't into it and knowing she was the kind that goes back to her vomit. But at this point I determined to make her come where I was and then we reconcile. But shortly after I did restitution with her and told her all I had done and what she made be go into but to my surprise she was so disappointed crying and telling me all sorts which was surprising to me because I expected this woman should have already seen the writing on the wall because I don't know how to pretend at all but she said she never suspected that she knew I was a Christian. Although I played a clean game but was was obvious was the fact that I changed in looks and all and shouldn't that be glaring. And now she only sober occasionally when the thoughts kicks in

My main problem now is that, while my first child is a copy of me, I started seeing the looks of my sister in law's last born in my last kid, which my mum has vaguely noted and I seconded. We can't even nurture the thought as we just said it. But personally each day I now stay with the kid I keep looking the semblance and thinking what if my bro in law which is my sister in law's hobby fathered this child. You see that would have out the child conception at about 3 months before I ever started having affairs outside marriage. I just wish to know what you guys think because I haven't even been able to ask any question relating to that as my wife just seem to off to ever fall into such.

Please ignore any typo as it was long and I'm trying to get by with a new course and it'll be hard to go through what I've written again. Pardon me

Don't complain about her, check yourself too.
For every energy there's an opposite energy attracted to it.

If your wife is behaving a certain way there must have been a trigger for it but you ignore it and act like its OK until now that things are sore you run up here for help.

Do DNA na. Nonsense

I'll suggest you go for DNA

UnproudLife:
So it happened that at this certain time, I was running a lucrative business that had so much cashflow., to the tune of about 2-4m monthly and I married my long-time girlfriend whom I disvirgined and had been dating for 7 years.

The moment we married and started the family journey, I tried making conversations about having a core family standard that would make harmony stand the test of time. Note that I am a man who is disciplined and goal-oriented. So first I approached my wife with a conversation on how to both make meaningful contributions in getting the family from point A to B at all times, to be more detailed, one of the conversations we had was about our finances because I also mentored her in the same business and she was raking in cash as well and was profitable.

I asked her that we make it a habit of both of us making contributions, having a certain joint account where we drop in cash from a certain amount we make sure we get paid monthly from our businesses. This was because while I was a reasonable spender who knows that if I go broke nobody got my back in the whole wide world. I'm the kinda person who when I spend, let's say for example, 200k just knows I'm worth times 30 of that but even with that I didn't have a concrete structure in business, I just spend money or do things as though my business was an extension of me, which the same was my wife's as well. And this was the reason I wanted us to make the conversation and also do things together. So I told her when we get paid monthly from our businesses we send a certain percentage of it to a joint account to run the family and if I was doing let's say 70k she should do like 30k because, with all honesty, I valued her business at if not half of mine or slightly above it was close at the time. And this was immediately we got married oh.

I was met with strong refusal, as she told me I married her and it was my duty to cater for everything, but as a patient person that I am in not making my judgement rashly I kept trying to convince her. I did till when it dawned on me that we was stern with her objection. And then this created in me a sense of deep selfishness from my wife and also note that I wasn't ever nosey about her income and even though I had a way to access her accounts to monitor Everything I wasn't interested and I was being the sole provider in the family while I watched my wife spend her money how she liked, making decisions that should involve me with her sister and calling some things to surprise me, and I don't mean it negatively.

It happened that i started a project in building a house 3years before we married which I'd credit to her sisters's advice and by the time we married we were already done with the roofing, remaining plastering and the rest. We were living at a very moderate house in town but had this project at a suburb in lagos which we all know that as a lagosian is still Lagos but only that the area would be less expensive. So at a time we were planning moving to a better apartment in town when her sister and her friend advised we pour money in completing our own place to move in. After much convincing I agreed and God blessed the most during this period in business so I had a dream house kind of finishing to the interior and we moved in.

During this time we were managing living at our business place because I was still accommodating her in my business space and we lived there and went home ones or twice in 2 weeks as it was easier with my driving. We then had a certain disagreement that made my wife without my agreement move her business and everything to that house and the area sighting her sister advicing it be done. I winked at it for peace to reign and because I wasn't a fool. Sorry without having to correct what I typed up there, this was the real account of what happened. When we had our first child she moved directly there and I went home weekends while running both businesses with me just directing her staffs and guiding them with discipline. We all know when you leave business for strangers it's OYO but all that doesn't mean I was also having access to her money, the money went to her while I managed the business.

This also was playing out while we dated and got married in how she never likes making any expenditure in even the cost of executing her jobs, and she would rather blackmail which I don't buy and because at those times I stick to mindset in business she'd rebel and take rash decision that would later backfire. So that was how she came one day and moved her everything to the area where we built saying her sister advised it.

I was a faithful man, a born again personality who ever since I gave my life to Christ about 5years to our marriage I stopped having fornication even with her or anyone and till that point in the marriage. So as she had moved, ye little things I knew in her business started diminishing while I was running the family financially. But this lady was always making me feel less than a man because she was so so not submissive even though I married her with the us being both core Christians and born again where she was even more fired up than me so we all knew submissiveness was the watchword but she wouldn't sub to it at this point and when I was home she'd make life miserable for me shouting in an area that the voice travels far, insult my life telling me that she regretted marrying me because I was a person who just wouldn't budge and I used to say I don't "think" as in the thinking that leads to depression and I guess this was why she wasn't having it. I always found ways to channel my thoughts to things positive that gets me going and even forgiving her on time while she sometimes take days to stop keeping malice.

This lady graduated to the aspect of telling me she stooped so low marrying me and I could go out and meet other ladies that she wouldn't even give a damn, and this went on for a long time. Without exaggeration, I myself was someone that in her words she feel for initially because of my looks although I was 5"7 and she like 5"6 in height which isn't that short for a man. I knew how young in thought and look I was when I start taking care of myself and dressing nice again and without a doubt an handsome man, so it got to a point I said to myself I've had enough. At this time I was already lusting at my spec in ladies out there in which I married her like but she refused to remain at. I brushed off and even while being in my early 30s I had several ladies saying I looked 23-26 in age and I started meeting ladies and having affairs with multiple through platforms and it was mind-blowing to me because they were telling me I looked better in person even though the profile pictures I had were compelling themselves. So I had several young ladies wishing we were dating for real but u didn't want that and wouldn't lie to get them laid with promises but the only lie I told was that I wasn't married neither with kids which some weren't even suspecting not to talk of asking such. But something was just not clicking with the way guys if this age behave when I relate with them and this is when we have more deeper relations and then they start sensing the nature of responsibility which makes them ask if I was married.

So at this point I said to myself, I was separated from my wife and I told her in several occasions because I wasn't going home as often as before she noticed all the changes in my looks but cared less. I was so far gone in having other ladies that I didn't even know what could ever make me wanna get back with her again. But in all these I was still a man who doesn't believe in divorce, which is what I always tell her made her misbehave. Then lemme note this. I was so far gone playing churchy Al these years I never knew the age had turned around and ladies were now so much for sale, I could remember hearing the word hookup for the first time 2 years ago when I had started contemplating cheating and I turned so many girls down on those platforms when I understood what hookup meant. I mostly kept them friends online for whining and all and I went off without meeting anyone until last year, that same last year by almost the middle of the year I had my first encounter with a lady who was almost begging I had s*X with her right in my car as the car was tinted at the back, and this was while being friends. I refused and explained I had never done it before. But a month later I started getting in the act until miraculously this year at mid year I had been longing for a change in lifestyle when I got the gift of repentance right in church and I just at this moment didn't care what my wife had ever done to me, I just forgave her in my heart, asked for forgiveness from God. Then it has been happening lately by then that she had been begging me and her sister was saying she in the person of my wife was already fed up and wanted to beg back in good terms with me but you know basking in the love of flesh I wasn't into it and knowing she was the kind that goes back to her vomit. But at this point I determined to make her come where I was and then we reconcile. But shortly after I did restitution with her and told her all I had done and what she made be go into but to my surprise she was so disappointed crying and telling me all sorts which was surprising to me because I expected this woman should have already seen the writing on the wall because I don't know how to pretend at all but she said she never suspected that she knew I was a Christian. Although I played a clean game but was was obvious was the fact that I changed in looks and all and shouldn't that be glaring. And now she only sober occasionally when the thoughts kicks in

My main problem now is that, while my first child is a copy of me, I started seeing the looks of my sister in law's last born in my last kid, which my mum has vaguely noted and I seconded. We can't even nurture the thought as we just said it. But personally each day I now stay with the kid I keep looking the semblance and thinking what if my bro in law which is my sister in law's hobby fathered this child. You see that would have out the child conception at about 3 months before I ever started having affairs outside marriage. I just wish to know what you guys think because I haven't even been able to ask any question relating to that as my wife just seem to off to ever fall into such.

Please ignore any typo as it was long and I'm trying to get by with a new course and it'll be hard to go through what I've written again. Pardon me

dyrocha:
I'm kinda in the position where you are except for the DNA ish. You can reach out if you'd like to.

What i do most times is just look the other way and focus on myself and my children. See her as one of the very many faces that would come so close to your life and not the (one)/last.

Reach out.

It's sad but truth is we are many on this lane.
Men are crying and dieing, no one cares. That's the sad reality of the world today.

Honestly, I couldn't read this story to the end.

UnproudLife:
So it happened that at this certain time, I was running a lucrative business that had so much cashflow., to the tune of about 2-4m monthly and I married my long-time girlfriend whom I disvirgined and had been dating for 7 years.

The moment we married and started the family journey, I tried making conversations about having a core family standard that would make harmony stand the test of time. Note that I am a man who is disciplined and goal-oriented. So first I approached my wife with a conversation on how to both make meaningful contributions in getting the family from point A to B at all times, to be more detailed, one of the conversations we had was about our finances because I also mentored her in the same business and she was raking in cash as well and was profitable.

I asked her that we make it a habit of both of us making contributions, having a certain joint account where we drop in cash from a certain amount we make sure we get paid monthly from our businesses. This was because while I was a reasonable spender who knows that if I go broke nobody got my back in the whole wide world. I'm the kinda person who when I spend, let's say for example, 200k just knows I'm worth times 30 of that but even with that I didn't have a concrete structure in business, I just spend money or do things as though my business was an extension of me, which the same was my wife's as well. And this was the reason I wanted us to make the conversation and also do things together. So I told her when we get paid monthly from our businesses we send a certain percentage of it to a joint account to run the family and if I was doing let's say 70k she should do like 30k because, with all honesty, I valued her business at if not half of mine or slightly above it was close at the time. And this was immediately we got married oh.

I was met with strong refusal, as she told me I married her and it was my duty to cater for everything, but as a patient person that I am in not making my judgement rashly I kept trying to convince her. I did till when it dawned on me that we was stern with her objection. And then this created in me a sense of deep selfishness from my wife and also note that I wasn't ever nosey about her income and even though I had a way to access her accounts to monitor Everything I wasn't interested and I was being the sole provider in the family while I watched my wife spend her money how she liked, making decisions that should involve me with her sister and calling some things to surprise me, and I don't mean it negatively.

It happened that i started a project in building a house 3years before we married which I'd credit to her sisters's advice and by the time we married we were already done with the roofing, remaining plastering and the rest. We were living at a very moderate house in town but had this project at a suburb in lagos which we all know that as a lagosian is still Lagos but only that the area would be less expensive. So at a time we were planning moving to a better apartment in town when her sister and her friend advised we pour money in completing our own place to move in. After much convincing I agreed and God blessed the most during this period in business so I had a dream house kind of finishing to the interior and we moved in.

During this time we were managing living at our business place because I was still accommodating her in my business space and we lived there and went home ones or twice in 2 weeks as it was easier with my driving. We then had a certain disagreement that made my wife without my agreement move her business and everything to that house and the area sighting her sister advicing it be done. I winked at it for peace to reign and because I wasn't a fool. Sorry without having to correct what I typed up there, this was the real account of what happened. When we had our first child she moved directly there and I went home weekends while running both businesses with me just directing her staffs and guiding them with discipline. We all know when you leave business for strangers it's OYO but all that doesn't mean I was also having access to her money, the money went to her while I managed the business.

This also was playing out while we dated and got married in how she never likes making any expenditure in even the cost of executing her jobs, and she would rather blackmail which I don't buy and because at those times I stick to mindset in business she'd rebel and take rash decision that would later backfire. So that was how she came one day and moved her everything to the area where we built saying her sister advised it.

I was a faithful man, a born again personality who ever since I gave my life to Christ about 5years to our marriage I stopped having fornication even with her or anyone and till that point in the marriage. So as she had moved, ye little things I knew in her business started diminishing while I was running the family financially. But this lady was always making me feel less than a man because she was so so not submissive even though I married her with the us being both core Christians and born again where she was even more fired up than me so we all knew submissiveness was the watchword but she wouldn't sub to it at this point and when I was home she'd make life miserable for me shouting in an area that the voice travels far, insult my life telling me that she regretted marrying me because I was a person who just wouldn't budge and I used to say I don't "think" as in the thinking that leads to depression and I guess this was why she wasn't having it. I always found ways to channel my thoughts to things positive that gets me going and even forgiving her on time while she sometimes take days to stop keeping malice.

This lady graduated to the aspect of telling me she stooped so low marrying me and I could go out and meet other ladies that she wouldn't even give a damn, and this went on for a long time. Without exaggeration, I myself was someone that in her words she feel for initially because of my looks although I was 5"7 and she like 5"6 in height which isn't that short for a man. I knew how young in thought and look I was when I start taking care of myself and dressing nice again and without a doubt an handsome man, so it got to a point I said to myself I've had enough. At this time I was already lusting at my spec in ladies out there in which I married her like but she refused to remain at. I brushed off and even while being in my early 30s I had several ladies saying I looked 23-26 in age and I started meeting ladies and having affairs with multiple through platforms and it was mind-blowing to me because they were telling me I looked better in person even though the profile pictures I had were compelling themselves. So I had several young ladies wishing we were dating for real but u didn't want that and wouldn't lie to get them laid with promises but the only lie I told was that I wasn't married neither with kids which some weren't even suspecting not to talk of asking such. But something was just not clicking with the way guys if this age behave when I relate with them and this is when we have more deeper relations and then they start sensing the nature of responsibility which makes them ask if I was married.

So at this point I said to myself, I was separated from my wife and I told her in several occasions because I wasn't going home as often as before she noticed all the changes in my looks but cared less. I was so far gone in having other ladies that I didn't even know what could ever make me wanna get back with her again. But in all these I was still a man who doesn't believe in divorce, which is what I always tell her made her misbehave. Then lemme note this. I was so far gone playing churchy Al these years I never knew the age had turned around and ladies were now so much for sale, I could remember hearing the word hookup for the first time 2 years ago when I had started contemplating cheating and I turned so many girls down on those platforms when I understood what hookup meant. I mostly kept them friends online for whining and all and I went off without meeting anyone until last year, that same last year by almost the middle of the year I had my first encounter with a lady who was almost begging I had s*X with her right in my car as the car was tinted at the back, and this was while being friends. I refused and explained I had never done it before. But a month later I started getting in the act until miraculously this year at mid year I had been longing for a change in lifestyle when I got the gift of repentance right in church and I just at this moment didn't care what my wife had ever done to me, I just forgave her in my heart, asked for forgiveness from God. Then it has been happening lately by then that she had been begging me and her sister was saying she in the person of my wife was already fed up and wanted to beg back in good terms with me but you know basking in the love of flesh I wasn't into it and knowing she was the kind that goes back to her vomit. But at this point I determined to make her come where I was and then we reconcile. But shortly after I did restitution with her and told her all I had done and what she made be go into but to my surprise she was so disappointed crying and telling me all sorts which was surprising to me because I expected this woman should have already seen the writing on the wall because I don't know how to pretend at all but she said she never suspected that she knew I was a Christian. Although I played a clean game but was was obvious was the fact that I changed in looks and all and shouldn't that be glaring. And now she only sober occasionally when the thoughts kicks in

My main problem now is that, while my first child is a copy of me, I started seeing the looks of my sister in law's last born in my last kid, which my mum has vaguely noted and I seconded. We can't even nurture the thought as we just said it. But personally each day I now stay with the kid I keep looking the semblance and thinking what if my bro in law which is my sister in law's hobby fathered this child. You see that would have out the child conception at about 3 months before I ever started having affairs outside marriage. I just wish to know what you guys think because I haven't even been able to ask any question relating to that as my wife just seem to off to ever fall into such.

Please ignore any typo as it was long and I'm trying to get by with a new course and it'll be hard to go through what I've written again. Pardon me

You see this your long epistle , it might end up in your Obituary poster's gracing the internet sooner or later if you don't think deep or be more careful with your smart wife

UnproudLife:
So it happened that at this certain time, I was running a lucrative business that had so much cashflow., to the tune of about 2-4m monthly and I married my long-time girlfriend whom I disvirgined and had been dating for 7 years.

The moment we married and started the family journey, I tried making conversations about having a core family standard that would make harmony stand the test of time. Note that I am a man who is disciplined and goal-oriented. So first I approached my wife with a conversation on how to both make meaningful contributions in getting the family from point A to B at all times, to be more detailed, one of the conversations we had was about our finances because I also mentored her in the same business and she was raking in cash as well and was profitable.

I asked her that we make it a habit of both of us making contributions, having a certain joint account where we drop in cash from a certain amount we make sure we get paid monthly from our businesses. This was because while I was a reasonable spender who knows that if I go broke nobody got my back in the whole wide world. I'm the kinda person who when I spend, let's say for example, 200k just knows I'm worth times 30 of that but even with that I didn't have a concrete structure in business, I just spend money or do things as though my business was an extension of me, which the same was my wife's as well. And this was the reason I wanted us to make the conversation and also do things together. So I told her when we get paid monthly from our businesses we send a certain percentage of it to a joint account to run the family and if I was doing let's say 70k she should do like 30k because, with all honesty, I valued her business at if not half of mine or slightly above it was close at the time. And this was immediately we got married oh.

I was met with strong refusal, as she told me I married her and it was my duty to cater for everything, but as a patient person that I am in not making my judgement rashly I kept trying to convince her. I did till when it dawned on me that we was stern with her objection. And then this created in me a sense of deep selfishness from my wife and also note that I wasn't ever nosey about her income and even though I had a way to access her accounts to monitor Everything I wasn't interested and I was being the sole provider in the family while I watched my wife spend her money how she liked, making decisions that should involve me with her sister and calling some things to surprise me, and I don't mean it negatively.

It happened that i started a project in building a house 3years before we married which I'd credit to her sisters's advice and by the time we married we were already done with the roofing, remaining plastering and the rest. We were living at a very moderate house in town but had this project at a suburb in lagos which we all know that as a lagosian is still Lagos but only that the area would be less expensive. So at a time we were planning moving to a better apartment in town when her sister and her friend advised we pour money in completing our own place to move in. After much convincing I agreed and God blessed the most during this period in business so I had a dream house kind of finishing to the interior and we moved in.

During this time we were managing living at our business place because I was still accommodating her in my business space and we lived there and went home ones or twice in 2 weeks as it was easier with my driving. We then had a certain disagreement that made my wife without my agreement move her business and everything to that house and the area sighting her sister advicing it be done. I winked at it for peace to reign and because I wasn't a fool. Sorry without having to correct what I typed up there, this was the real account of what happened. When we had our first child she moved directly there and I went home weekends while running both businesses with me just directing her staffs and guiding them with discipline. We all know when you leave business for strangers it's OYO but all that doesn't mean I was also having access to her money, the money went to her while I managed the business.

This also was playing out while we dated and got married in how she never likes making any expenditure in even the cost of executing her jobs, and she would rather blackmail which I don't buy and because at those times I stick to mindset in business she'd rebel and take rash decision that would later backfire. So that was how she came one day and moved her everything to the area where we built saying her sister advised it.

I was a faithful man, a born again personality who ever since I gave my life to Christ about 5years to our marriage I stopped having fornication even with her or anyone and till that point in the marriage. So as she had moved, ye little things I knew in her business started diminishing while I was running the family financially. But this lady was always making me feel less than a man because she was so so not submissive even though I married her with the us being both core Christians and born again where she was even more fired up than me so we all knew submissiveness was the watchword but she wouldn't sub to it at this point and when I was home she'd make life miserable for me shouting in an area that the voice travels far, insult my life telling me that she regretted marrying me because I was a person who just wouldn't budge and I used to say I don't "think" as in the thinking that leads to depression and I guess this was why she wasn't having it. I always found ways to channel my thoughts to things positive that gets me going and even forgiving her on time while she sometimes take days to stop keeping malice.

This lady graduated to the aspect of telling me she stooped so low marrying me and I could go out and meet other ladies that she wouldn't even give a damn, and this went on for a long time. Without exaggeration, I myself was someone that in her words she feel for initially because of my looks although I was 5"7 and she like 5"6 in height which isn't that short for a man. I knew how young in thought and look I was when I start taking care of myself and dressing nice again and without a doubt an handsome man, so it got to a point I said to myself I've had enough. At this time I was already lusting at my spec in ladies out there in which I married her like but she refused to remain at. I brushed off and even while being in my early 30s I had several ladies saying I looked 23-26 in age and I started meeting ladies and having affairs with multiple through platforms and it was mind-blowing to me because they were telling me I looked better in person even though the profile pictures I had were compelling themselves. So I had several young ladies wishing we were dating for real but u didn't want that and wouldn't lie to get them laid with promises but the only lie I told was that I wasn't married neither with kids which some weren't even suspecting not to talk of asking such. But something was just not clicking with the way guys if this age behave when I relate with them and this is when we have more deeper relations and then they start sensing the nature of responsibility which makes them ask if I was married.

So at this point I said to myself, I was separated from my wife and I told her in several occasions because I wasn't going home as often as before she noticed all the changes in my looks but cared less. I was so far gone in having other ladies that I didn't even know what could ever make me wanna get back with her again. But in all these I was still a man who doesn't believe in divorce, which is what I always tell her made her misbehave. Then lemme note this. I was so far gone playing churchy Al these years I never knew the age had turned around and ladies were now so much for sale, I could remember hearing the word hookup for the first time 2 years ago when I had started contemplating cheating and I turned so many girls down on those platforms when I understood what hookup meant. I mostly kept them friends online for whining and all and I went off without meeting anyone until last year, that same last year by almost the middle of the year I had my first encounter with a lady who was almost begging I had s*X with her right in my car as the car was tinted at the back, and this was while being friends. I refused and explained I had never done it before. But a month later I started getting in the act until miraculously this year at mid year I had been longing for a change in lifestyle when I got the gift of repentance right in church and I just at this moment didn't care what my wife had ever done to me, I just forgave her in my heart, asked for forgiveness from God. Then it has been happening lately by then that she had been begging me and her sister was saying she in the person of my wife was already fed up and wanted to beg back in good terms with me but you know basking in the love of flesh I wasn't into it and knowing she was the kind that goes back to her vomit. But at this point I determined to make her come where I was and then we reconcile. But shortly after I did restitution with her and told her all I had done and what she made be go into but to my surprise she was so disappointed crying and telling me all sorts which was surprising to me because I expected this woman should have already seen the writing on the wall because I don't know how to pretend at all but she said she never suspected that she knew I was a Christian. Although I played a clean game but was was obvious was the fact that I changed in looks and all and shouldn't that be glaring. And now she only sober occasionally when the thoughts kicks in

My main problem now is that, while my first child is a copy of me, I started seeing the looks of my sister in law's last born in my last kid, which my mum has vaguely noted and I seconded. We can't even nurture the thought as we just said it. But personally each day I now stay with the kid I keep looking the semblance and thinking what if my bro in law which is my sister in law's hobby fathered this child. You see that would have out the child conception at about 3 months before I ever started having affairs outside marriage. I just wish to know what you guys think because I haven't even been able to ask any question relating to that as my wife just seem to off to ever fall into such.

Please ignore any typo as it was long and I'm trying to get by with a new course and it'll be hard to go through what I've written again. Pardon me

Your English is annoyingly terrible