Welcome, Guest: Register On Nairaland / LOGIN! / Trending / Recent / New
Stats: 3,156,511 members, 7,830,524 topics. Date: Friday, 17 May 2024 at 01:30 AM

How Do I Confront My Wife With This Kind Of Question - Family (8) - Nairaland

Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / How Do I Confront My Wife With This Kind Of Question (35151 Views)

How Do I Confront My Husband About This Issue? / Should I Confront My Brother's Wife? / I Am Suspecting My Wife Is Cheating. Should I Confront Her? (2) (3) (4)

(1) (2) (3) ... (5) (6) (7) (8) (Reply) (Go Down)

Re: How Do I Confront My Wife With This Kind Of Question by demoBaba: 1:58am On Nov 22, 2023
UnproudLife:
So it happened that at this certain time, I was running a lucrative business that had so much cashflow., to the tune of about 2-4m monthly and I married my long-time girlfriend whom I disvirgined and had been dating for 7 years.

The moment we married and started the family journey, I tried making conversations about having a core family standard that would make harmony stand the test of time. Note that I am a man who is disciplined and goal-oriented. So first I approached my wife with a conversation on how to both make meaningful contributions in getting the family from point A to B at all times, to be more detailed, one of the conversations we had was about our finances because I also mentored her in the same business and she was raking in cash as well and was profitable.

I asked her that we make it a habit of both of us making contributions, having a certain joint account where we drop in cash from a certain amount we make sure we get paid monthly from our businesses. This was because while I was a reasonable spender who knows that if I go broke nobody got my back in the whole wide world. I'm the kinda person who when I spend, let's say for example, 200k just knows I'm worth times 30 of that but even with that I didn't have a concrete structure in business, I just spend money or do things as though my business was an extension of me, which the same was my wife's as well. And this was the reason I wanted us to make the conversation and also do things together. So I told her when we get paid monthly from our businesses we send a certain percentage of it to a joint account to run the family and if I was doing let's say 70k she should do like 30k because, with all honesty, I valued her business at if not half of mine or slightly above it was close at the time. And this was immediately we got married oh.

I was met with strong refusal, as she told me I married her and it was my duty to cater for everything, but as a patient person that I am in not making my judgement rashly I kept trying to convince her. I did till when it dawned on me that we was stern with her objection. And then this created in me a sense of deep selfishness from my wife and also note that I wasn't ever nosey about her income and even though I had a way to access her accounts to monitor Everything I wasn't interested and I was being the sole provider in the family while I watched my wife spend her money how she liked, making decisions that should involve me with her sister and calling some things to surprise me, and I don't mean it negatively.

It happened that i started a project in building a house 3years before we married which I'd credit to her sisters's advice and by the time we married we were already done with the roofing, remaining plastering and the rest. We were living at a very moderate house in town but had this project at a suburb in lagos which we all know that as a lagosian is still Lagos but only that the area would be less expensive. So at a time we were planning moving to a better apartment in town when her sister and her friend advised we pour money in completing our own place to move in. After much convincing I agreed and God blessed the most during this period in business so I had a dream house kind of finishing to the interior and we moved in.

During this time we were managing living at our business place because I was still accommodating her in my business space and we lived there and went home ones or twice in 2 weeks as it was easier with my driving. We then had a certain disagreement that made my wife without my agreement move her business and everything to that house and the area sighting her sister advicing it be done. I winked at it for peace to reign and because I wasn't a fool. Sorry without having to correct what I typed up there, this was the real account of what happened. When we had our first child she moved directly there and I went home weekends while running both businesses with me just directing her staffs and guiding them with discipline. We all know when you leave business for strangers it's OYO but all that doesn't mean I was also having access to her money, the money went to her while I managed the business.

This also was playing out while we dated and got married in how she never likes making any expenditure in even the cost of executing her jobs, and she would rather blackmail which I don't buy and because at those times I stick to mindset in business she'd rebel and take rash decision that would later backfire. So that was how she came one day and moved her everything to the area where we built saying her sister advised it.

I was a faithful man, a born again personality who ever since I gave my life to Christ about 5years to our marriage I stopped having fornication even with her or anyone and till that point in the marriage. So as she had moved, ye little things I knew in her business started diminishing while I was running the family financially. But this lady was always making me feel less than a man because she was so so not submissive even though I married her with the us being both core Christians and born again where she was even more fired up than me so we all knew submissiveness was the watchword but she wouldn't sub to it at this point and when I was home she'd make life miserable for me shouting in an area that the voice travels far, insult my life telling me that she regretted marrying me because I was a person who just wouldn't budge and I used to say I don't "think" as in the thinking that leads to depression and I guess this was why she wasn't having it. I always found ways to channel my thoughts to things positive that gets me going and even forgiving her on time while she sometimes take days to stop keeping malice.

This lady graduated to the aspect of telling me she stooped so low marrying me and I could go out and meet other ladies that she wouldn't even give a damn, and this went on for a long time. Without exaggeration, I myself was someone that in her words she feel for initially because of my looks although I was 5"7 and she like 5"6 in height which isn't that short for a man. I knew how young in thought and look I was when I start taking care of myself and dressing nice again and without a doubt an handsome man, so it got to a point I said to myself I've had enough. At this time I was already lusting at my spec in ladies out there in which I married her like but she refused to remain at. I brushed off and even while being in my early 30s I had several ladies saying I looked 23-26 in age and I started meeting ladies and having affairs with multiple through platforms and it was mind-blowing to me because they were telling me I looked better in person even though the profile pictures I had were compelling themselves. So I had several young ladies wishing we were dating for real but u didn't want that and wouldn't lie to get them laid with promises but the only lie I told was that I wasn't married neither with kids which some weren't even suspecting not to talk of asking such. But something was just not clicking with the way guys if this age behave when I relate with them and this is when we have more deeper relations and then they start sensing the nature of responsibility which makes them ask if I was married.

So at this point I said to myself, I was separated from my wife and I told her in several occasions because I wasn't going home as often as before she noticed all the changes in my looks but cared less. I was so far gone in having other ladies that I didn't even know what could ever make me wanna get back with her again. But in all these I was still a man who doesn't believe in divorce, which is what I always tell her made her misbehave. Then lemme note this. I was so far gone playing churchy Al these years I never knew the age had turned around and ladies were now so much for sale, I could remember hearing the word hookup for the first time 2 years ago when I had started contemplating cheating and I turned so many girls down on those platforms when I understood what hookup meant. I mostly kept them friends online for whining and all and I went off without meeting anyone until last year, that same last year by almost the middle of the year I had my first encounter with a lady who was almost begging I had s*X with her right in my car as the car was tinted at the back, and this was while being friends. I refused and explained I had never done it before. But a month later I started getting in the act until miraculously this year at mid year I had been longing for a change in lifestyle when I got the gift of repentance right in church and I just at this moment didn't care what my wife had ever done to me, I just forgave her in my heart, asked for forgiveness from God. Then it has been happening lately by then that she had been begging me and her sister was saying she in the person of my wife was already fed up and wanted to beg back in good terms with me but you know basking in the love of flesh I wasn't into it and knowing she was the kind that goes back to her vomit. But at this point I determined to make her come where I was and then we reconcile. But shortly after I did restitution with her and told her all I had done and what she made be go into but to my surprise she was so disappointed crying and telling me all sorts which was surprising to me because I expected this woman should have already seen the writing on the wall because I don't know how to pretend at all but she said she never suspected that she knew I was a Christian. Although I played a clean game but was was obvious was the fact that I changed in looks and all and shouldn't that be glaring. And now she only sober occasionally when the thoughts kicks in

My main problem now is that, while my first child is a copy of me, I started seeing the looks of my sister in law's last born in my last kid, which my mum has vaguely noted and I seconded. We can't even nurture the thought as we just said it. But personally each day I now stay with the kid I keep looking the semblance and thinking what if my bro in law which is my sister in law's hobby fathered this child. You see that would have out the child conception at about 3 months before I ever started having affairs outside marriage. I just wish to know what you guys think because I haven't even been able to ask any question relating to that as my wife just seem to off to ever fall into such.

Please ignore any typo as it was long and I'm trying to get by with a new course and it'll be hard to go through what I've written again. Pardon me



I've to back out, brief next time please.
Re: How Do I Confront My Wife With This Kind Of Question by bluefilm: 4:02am On Nov 22, 2023
UnproudLife:
So it happened that at this certain time, I was running a lucrative business that had so much cashflow., to the tune of about 2-4m monthly and I married my long-time girlfriend whom I disvirgined and had been dating for 7 years.

The moment we married and started the family journey, I tried making conversations about having a core family standard that would make harmony stand the test of time. Note that I am a man who is disciplined and goal-oriented. So first I approached my wife with a conversation on how to both make meaningful contributions in getting the family from point A to B at all times, to be more detailed, one of the conversations we had was about our finances because I also mentored her in the same business and she was raking in cash as well and was profitable.

I asked her that we make it a habit of both of us making contributions, having a certain joint account where we drop in cash from a certain amount we make sure we get paid monthly from our businesses. This was because while I was a reasonable spender who knows that if I go broke nobody got my back in the whole wide world. I'm the kinda person who when I spend, let's say for example, 200k just knows I'm worth times 30 of that but even with that I didn't have a concrete structure in business, I just spend money or do things as though my business was an extension of me, which the same was my wife's as well. And this was the reason I wanted us to make the conversation and also do things together. So I told her when we get paid monthly from our businesses we send a certain percentage of it to a joint account to run the family and if I was doing let's say 70k she should do like 30k because, with all honesty, I valued her business at if not half of mine or slightly above it was close at the time. And this was immediately we got married oh.

I was met with strong refusal, as she told me I married her and it was my duty to cater for everything, but as a patient person that I am in not making my judgement rashly I kept trying to convince her. I did till when it dawned on me that we was stern with her objection. And then this created in me a sense of deep selfishness from my wife and also note that I wasn't ever nosey about her income and even though I had a way to access her accounts to monitor Everything I wasn't interested and I was being the sole provider in the family while I watched my wife spend her money how she liked, making decisions that should involve me with her sister and calling some things to surprise me, and I don't mean it negatively.

It happened that i started a project in building a house 3years before we married which I'd credit to her sisters's advice and by the time we married we were already done with the roofing, remaining plastering and the rest. We were living at a very moderate house in town but had this project at a suburb in lagos which we all know that as a lagosian is still Lagos but only that the area would be less expensive. So at a time we were planning moving to a better apartment in town when her sister and her friend advised we pour money in completing our own place to move in. After much convincing I agreed and God blessed the most during this period in business so I had a dream house kind of finishing to the interior and we moved in.

During this time we were managing living at our business place because I was still accommodating her in my business space and we lived there and went home ones or twice in 2 weeks as it was easier with my driving. We then had a certain disagreement that made my wife without my agreement move her business and everything to that house and the area sighting her sister advicing it be done. I winked at it for peace to reign and because I wasn't a fool. Sorry without having to correct what I typed up there, this was the real account of what happened. When we had our first child she moved directly there and I went home weekends while running both businesses with me just directing her staffs and guiding them with discipline. We all know when you leave business for strangers it's OYO but all that doesn't mean I was also having access to her money, the money went to her while I managed the business.

This also was playing out while we dated and got married in how she never likes making any expenditure in even the cost of executing her jobs, and she would rather blackmail which I don't buy and because at those times I stick to mindset in business she'd rebel and take rash decision that would later backfire. So that was how she came one day and moved her everything to the area where we built saying her sister advised it.

I was a faithful man, a born again personality who ever since I gave my life to Christ about 5years to our marriage I stopped having fornication even with her or anyone and till that point in the marriage. So as she had moved, ye little things I knew in her business started diminishing while I was running the family financially. But this lady was always making me feel less than a man because she was so so not submissive even though I married her with the us being both core Christians and born again where she was even more fired up than me so we all knew submissiveness was the watchword but she wouldn't sub to it at this point and when I was home she'd make life miserable for me shouting in an area that the voice travels far, insult my life telling me that she regretted marrying me because I was a person who just wouldn't budge and I used to say I don't "think" as in the thinking that leads to depression and I guess this was why she wasn't having it. I always found ways to channel my thoughts to things positive that gets me going and even forgiving her on time while she sometimes take days to stop keeping malice.

This lady graduated to the aspect of telling me she stooped so low marrying me and I could go out and meet other ladies that she wouldn't even give a damn, and this went on for a long time. Without exaggeration, I myself was someone that in her words she feel for initially because of my looks although I was 5"7 and she like 5"6 in height which isn't that short for a man. I knew how young in thought and look I was when I start taking care of myself and dressing nice again and without a doubt an handsome man, so it got to a point I said to myself I've had enough. At this time I was already lusting at my spec in ladies out there in which I married her like but she refused to remain at. I brushed off and even while being in my early 30s I had several ladies saying I looked 23-26 in age and I started meeting ladies and having affairs with multiple through platforms and it was mind-blowing to me because they were telling me I looked better in person even though the profile pictures I had were compelling themselves. So I had several young ladies wishing we were dating for real but u didn't want that and wouldn't lie to get them laid with promises but the only lie I told was that I wasn't married neither with kids which some weren't even suspecting not to talk of asking such. But something was just not clicking with the way guys if this age behave when I relate with them and this is when we have more deeper relations and then they start sensing the nature of responsibility which makes them ask if I was married.

So at this point I said to myself, I was separated from my wife and I told her in several occasions because I wasn't going home as often as before she noticed all the changes in my looks but cared less. I was so far gone in having other ladies that I didn't even know what could ever make me wanna get back with her again. But in all these I was still a man who doesn't believe in divorce, which is what I always tell her made her misbehave. Then lemme note this. I was so far gone playing churchy Al these years I never knew the age had turned around and ladies were now so much for sale, I could remember hearing the word hookup for the first time 2 years ago when I had started contemplating cheating and I turned so many girls down on those platforms when I understood what hookup meant. I mostly kept them friends online for whining and all and I went off without meeting anyone until last year, that same last year by almost the middle of the year I had my first encounter with a lady who was almost begging I had s*X with her right in my car as the car was tinted at the back, and this was while being friends. I refused and explained I had never done it before. But a month later I started getting in the act until miraculously this year at mid year I had been longing for a change in lifestyle when I got the gift of repentance right in church and I just at this moment didn't care what my wife had ever done to me, I just forgave her in my heart, asked for forgiveness from God. Then it has been happening lately by then that she had been begging me and her sister was saying she in the person of my wife was already fed up and wanted to beg back in good terms with me but you know basking in the love of flesh I wasn't into it and knowing she was the kind that goes back to her vomit. But at this point I determined to make her come where I was and then we reconcile. But shortly after I did restitution with her and told her all I had done and what she made be go into but to my surprise she was so disappointed crying and telling me all sorts which was surprising to me because I expected this woman should have already seen the writing on the wall because I don't know how to pretend at all but she said she never suspected that she knew I was a Christian. Although I played a clean game but was was obvious was the fact that I changed in looks and all and shouldn't that be glaring. And now she only sober occasionally when the thoughts kicks in

My main problem now is that, while my first child is a copy of me, I started seeing the looks of my sister in law's last born in my last kid, which my mum has vaguely noted and I seconded. We can't even nurture the thought as we just said it. But personally each day I now stay with the kid I keep looking the semblance and thinking what if my bro in law which is my sister in law's hobby fathered this child. You see that would have out the child conception at about 3 months before I ever started having affairs outside marriage. I just wish to know what you guys think because I haven't even been able to ask any question relating to that as my wife just seem to off to ever fall into such.

Please ignore any typo as it was long and I'm trying to get by with a new course and it'll be hard to go through what I've written again. Pardon me


Gosh!

This guy can ramble for Africa.

I can't believe someone can sit down and write down such a load of bullshit_ like this!

Nonsense. angry
Re: How Do I Confront My Wife With This Kind Of Question by Chatgpt: 4:47am On Nov 22, 2023
Sorry for everything you went through... Since you are financially bouyant, can you please go for a DNA test

I will be glad If you give me a tip of the business you do... Please.

UnproudLife:
So it happened that at this certain time, I was running a lucrative business that had so much cashflow., to the tune of about 2-4m monthly and I married my long-time girlfriend whom I disvirgined and had been dating for 7 years.

The moment we married and started the family journey, I tried making conversations about having a core family standard that would make harmony stand the test of time. Note that I am a man who is disciplined and goal-oriented. So first I approached my wife with a conversation on how to both make meaningful contributions in getting the family from point A to B at all times, to be more detailed, one of the conversations we had was about our finances because I also mentored her in the same business and she was raking in cash as well and was profitable.

I asked her that we make it a habit of both of us making contributions, having a certain joint account where we drop in cash from a certain amount we make sure we get paid monthly from our businesses. This was because while I was a reasonable spender who knows that if I go broke nobody got my back in the whole wide world. I'm the kinda person who when I spend, let's say for example, 200k just knows I'm worth times 30 of that but even with that I didn't have a concrete structure in business, I just spend money or do things as though my business was an extension of me, which the same was my wife's as well. And this was the reason I wanted us to make the conversation and also do things together. So I told her when we get paid monthly from our businesses we send a certain percentage of it to a joint account to run the family and if I was doing let's say 70k she should do like 30k because, with all honesty, I valued her business at if not half of mine or slightly above it was close at the time. And this was immediately we got married oh.

I was met with strong refusal, as she told me I married her and it was my duty to cater for everything, but as a patient person that I am in not making my judgement rashly I kept trying to convince her. I did till when it dawned on me that we was stern with her objection. And then this created in me a sense of deep selfishness from my wife and also note that I wasn't ever nosey about her income and even though I had a way to access her accounts to monitor Everything I wasn't interested and I was being the sole provider in the family while I watched my wife spend her money how she liked, making decisions that should involve me with her sister and calling some things to surprise me, and I don't mean it negatively.

It happened that i started a project in building a house 3years before we married which I'd credit to her sisters's advice and by the time we married we were already done with the roofing, remaining plastering and the rest. We were living at a very moderate house in town but had this project at a suburb in lagos which we all know that as a lagosian is still Lagos but only that the area would be less expensive. So at a time we were planning moving to a better apartment in town when her sister and her friend advised we pour money in completing our own place to move in. After much convincing I agreed and God blessed the most during this period in business so I had a dream house kind of finishing to the interior and we moved in.

During this time we were managing living at our business place because I was still accommodating her in my business space and we lived there and went home ones or twice in 2 weeks as it was easier with my driving. We then had a certain disagreement that made my wife without my agreement move her business and everything to that house and the area sighting her sister advicing it be done. I winked at it for peace to reign and because I wasn't a fool. Sorry without having to correct what I typed up there, this was the real account of what happened. When we had our first child she moved directly there and I went home weekends while running both businesses with me just directing her staffs and guiding them with discipline. We all know when you leave business for strangers it's OYO but all that doesn't mean I was also having access to her money, the money went to her while I managed the business.

This also was playing out while we dated and got married in how she never likes making any expenditure in even the cost of executing her jobs, and she would rather blackmail which I don't buy and because at those times I stick to mindset in business she'd rebel and take rash decision that would later backfire. So that was how she came one day and moved her everything to the area where we built saying her sister advised it.

I was a faithful man, a born again personality who ever since I gave my life to Christ about 5years to our marriage I stopped having fornication even with her or anyone and till that point in the marriage. So as she had moved, ye little things I knew in her business started diminishing while I was running the family financially. But this lady was always making me feel less than a man because she was so so not submissive even though I married her with the us being both core Christians and born again where she was even more fired up than me so we all knew submissiveness was the watchword but she wouldn't sub to it at this point and when I was home she'd make life miserable for me shouting in an area that the voice travels far, insult my life telling me that she regretted marrying me because I was a person who just wouldn't budge and I used to say I don't "think" as in the thinking that leads to depression and I guess this was why she wasn't having it. I always found ways to channel my thoughts to things positive that gets me going and even forgiving her on time while she sometimes take days to stop keeping malice.

This lady graduated to the aspect of telling me she stooped so low marrying me and I could go out and meet other ladies that she wouldn't even give a damn, and this went on for a long time. Without exaggeration, I myself was someone that in her words she feel for initially because of my looks although I was 5"7 and she like 5"6 in height which isn't that short for a man. I knew how young in thought and look I was when I start taking care of myself and dressing nice again and without a doubt an handsome man, so it got to a point I said to myself I've had enough. At this time I was already lusting at my spec in ladies out there in which I married her like but she refused to remain at. I brushed off and even while being in my early 30s I had several ladies saying I looked 23-26 in age and I started meeting ladies and having affairs with multiple through platforms and it was mind-blowing to me because they were telling me I looked better in person even though the profile pictures I had were compelling themselves. So I had several young ladies wishing we were dating for real but u didn't want that and wouldn't lie to get them laid with promises but the only lie I told was that I wasn't married neither with kids which some weren't even suspecting not to talk of asking such. But something was just not clicking with the way guys if this age behave when I relate with them and this is when we have more deeper relations and then they start sensing the nature of responsibility which makes them ask if I was married.

So at this point I said to myself, I was separated from my wife and I told her in several occasions because I wasn't going home as often as before she noticed all the changes in my looks but cared less. I was so far gone in having other ladies that I didn't even know what could ever make me wanna get back with her again. But in all these I was still a man who doesn't believe in divorce, which is what I always tell her made her misbehave. Then lemme note this. I was so far gone playing churchy Al these years I never knew the age had turned around and ladies were now so much for sale, I could remember hearing the word hookup for the first time 2 years ago when I had started contemplating cheating and I turned so many girls down on those platforms when I understood what hookup meant. I mostly kept them friends online for whining and all and I went off without meeting anyone until last year, that same last year by almost the middle of the year I had my first encounter with a lady who was almost begging I had s*X with her right in my car as the car was tinted at the back, and this was while being friends. I refused and explained I had never done it before. But a month later I started getting in the act until miraculously this year at mid year I had been longing for a change in lifestyle when I got the gift of repentance right in church and I just at this moment didn't care what my wife had ever done to me, I just forgave her in my heart, asked for forgiveness from God. Then it has been happening lately by then that she had been begging me and her sister was saying she in the person of my wife was already fed up and wanted to beg back in good terms with me but you know basking in the love of flesh I wasn't into it and knowing she was the kind that goes back to her vomit. But at this point I determined to make her come where I was and then we reconcile. But shortly after I did restitution with her and told her all I had done and what she made be go into but to my surprise she was so disappointed crying and telling me all sorts which was surprising to me because I expected this woman should have already seen the writing on the wall because I don't know how to pretend at all but she said she never suspected that she knew I was a Christian. Although I played a clean game but was was obvious was the fact that I changed in looks and all and shouldn't that be glaring. And now she only sober occasionally when the thoughts kicks in

My main problem now is that, while my first child is a copy of me, I started seeing the looks of my sister in law's last born in my last kid, which my mum has vaguely noted and I seconded. We can't even nurture the thought as we just said it. But personally each day I now stay with the kid I keep looking the semblance and thinking what if my bro in law which is my sister in law's hobby fathered this child. You see that would have out the child conception at about 3 months before I ever started having affairs outside marriage. I just wish to know what you guys think because I haven't even been able to ask any question relating to that as my wife just seem to off to ever fall into such.

Please ignore any typo as it was long and I'm trying to get by with a new course and it'll be hard to go through what I've written again. Pardon me

Re: How Do I Confront My Wife With This Kind Of Question by Jewessgratitud3: 7:12am On Nov 22, 2023
Omor see as headache dey worry me after reading this muddled up text.

In summary you were pushed to cheat on your wife because of a misunderstanding you both had. And you call yourself a bornagain Christian? Let Me tell you, you were never a bornagain. You are someone who is just identifying with the christian faith because life is treating you fairly and that was why a little test of that faith saw you falling ruthlessly into sin; swimming inside it and recounting all you've missed about it without remorse.

I laugh when people are living comfortably and claim they're are devoted born again Christians. You cant boast to be a true christian until youve had a true test of your faith and still stand firm in the faith, that is when you can say you are a born again. Leave all this one wen una dey deceive una self. Life soft for you, still you have the mind to swim inside sin. na God make you vex? Lame excuse to do what you have always wanted to do because your spirit man is not yet regenerated.

Wetin you don see? Have you been in a situation where no hope of help from anywhere yet sorrounded with all sorts of temptation of rich men ( women) offering you huge checks just to sleep with you and you rejected to continue hoping against hope like Paul the apostle who was abandoned by his brethren but kept up the good fight of faith until God sent him help? Small misunderstanding you follow even your faith fight. Abeg leave talk and go and get born again, this time genuinely.

Now, you were the one who went astray, na you still come back with your luggage of sin come dey suspect a woman you cheated on. What kind of double standard is this one bikonu? You dare suspect her after all you did? I talk say your own born again na for better for stay for worst for disappear. Shey you say you be tycoon and own a landed property in ikorodu, ( me I know say the place you described you built your house is ikorodu from the description even though you no wan mention the place ) eh.. go and conduct a DNA test on the child now.

It's things like this that make me not to trust even so the called bro in church cos everybody now have different type and levels of born again.

All the cheating spouses, Una mind no go touch ground.
Re: How Do I Confront My Wife With This Kind Of Question by Caseless: 7:23am On Nov 22, 2023
@UnProudLife


Is it so hard for you to go out with your son, take blood sample and confirm paternity?


You fvck up sef for telling her how you womanized when she was misbehaving.

Don't tell anyone the kind of business you do. They're ready to do like they do to POS business in Nigeria or Guiness record.
Re: How Do I Confront My Wife With This Kind Of Question by koolaid87: 7:35am On Nov 22, 2023
Go and check the paternity.

Dont even raise it with her yet

DNA sharp sharp
Re: How Do I Confront My Wife With This Kind Of Question by kossyablaze(m): 9:06am On Nov 22, 2023
Namaster:


Marriage is for suckers. grin
Hi... May I ask why you detest marriage?
Re: How Do I Confront My Wife With This Kind Of Question by kossyablaze(m): 9:12am On Nov 22, 2023
Carcholce:


Let me summarize it:

OP married his long time girlfriend and taught her how to fish, She started fishing and started being disrespectful and not submissive. The thing vex OP. OP that was once a church boy was forced to start doing hookup and bending doggy inside his car. The wife noticed but She nor send OP. After OP have had his fill of hookup, he came to his senses and gave his life to Christ. It was after his eyes has cleared that he realized his last born resembles his sisters in law last born.

Did the OPs wife mistakenly fell on her sisters bed and rode her brother in law till he came inside her? OP is confused. So am I.

The question OP is asking now is “Who get the pikin”
Nice summary man. Can I have ur account number?
Re: How Do I Confront My Wife With This Kind Of Question by JOGICE(m): 9:53am On Nov 22, 2023
Carcholce:
Wahala!!

I am not married but the points I noted from your post is that.

1. Don’t teach women how to fish, give them fish instead. When giving them the fish, make sure it’s only the head and the tail.

2. Most women will hate you if you are nice man. I don’t know where the hate comes from. It seems natural. You have to be cruel to them, always make them remember the wrong things you did instead of the good. They’ll love you more.

3. If your wife pushes you out with her nagging and disrespectful smiley behavior, and you really go out and start cheating/fornicating, it’s a trap. When you fall into the trap, you’ll fall so hard that you’ll lose more than you can ever recover. This is the ultimate test most men fail

4. About your last born. Only God and DNA test knows the answer. Or you can simply approach your sister in law hubby and ask him if he mistakenly slept with your wife. Just be polite with the question.
Re: How Do I Confront My Wife With This Kind Of Question by Bbqekpa: 10:25am On Nov 22, 2023
Carcholce:


Let me summarize it:

OP married his long time girlfriend and taught her how to fish, She started fishing and started being disrespectful and not submissive. The thing vex OP. OP that was once a church boy was forced to start doing hookup and bending doggy inside his car. The wife noticed but She nor send OP. After OP have had his fill of hookup, he came to his senses and gave his life to Christ. It was after his eyes has cleared that he realized his last born resembles his sisters in law last born.

Did the OPs wife mistakenly fell on her sisters bed and rode her brother in law till he came inside her? OP is confused. So am I.

The question OP is asking now is “Who get the pikin”


Wahala! You be first class upper candidate
Re: How Do I Confront My Wife With This Kind Of Question by emmyN(m): 11:20am On Nov 22, 2023
UnproudLife:

It's unbelievable to me and I can't afford it at the moment.

100k
Re: How Do I Confront My Wife With This Kind Of Question by Carcholce: 11:43am On Nov 22, 2023
Fountainofyouth:


How old are you? You can't be an adult to think like this

Truly kids have invaded nairaland undecided


Sarcasm my sister. Sarcasm!!! You and I know the OP can never do such!
Re: How Do I Confront My Wife With This Kind Of Question by saasala(m): 12:29pm On Nov 22, 2023
Carcholce:


Let me summarize it:

OP married his long time girlfriend and taught her how to fish, She started fishing and started being disrespectful and not submissive. The thing vex OP. OP that was once a church boy was forced to start doing hookup and bending doggy inside his car. The wife noticed but She nor send OP. After OP have had his fill of hookup, he came to his senses and gave his life to Christ. It was after his eyes has cleared that he realized his last born resembles his sisters in law last born.

Did the OPs wife mistakenly fell on her sisters bed and rode her brother in law till he came inside her? OP is confused. So am I.

The question OP is asking now is “Who get the pikin”

You be weyrey grin grin
Re: How Do I Confront My Wife With This Kind Of Question by saasala(m): 12:31pm On Nov 22, 2023
bdon123:

Dont ask sister inlaw hubby shit.Quietly claim u taking d child out for hangout n do a DNA test.they only need ur blood/saliva n that of d child to do it.
I hav done DNA twice ..both blood n saliva sometimes 2016 n it came back negative that i wasnt father of d child i was accused.ad of then it cost 70k

Baba, gist me the tori na or create a new topic and mention me. I won hear the gist
Re: How Do I Confront My Wife With This Kind Of Question by Biisola: 12:46pm On Nov 22, 2023
highchief1:
r u the one cheating with her?
A screenshot of where you said it would do just fine,don't you think?
Re: How Do I Confront My Wife With This Kind Of Question by highchief1: 1:18pm On Nov 22, 2023
Biisola:

A screenshot of where you said it would do just fine,don't you think?
bros leave me.i use tinubu blokos beg u

1 Like

Re: How Do I Confront My Wife With This Kind Of Question by Biisola: 1:22pm On Nov 22, 2023
highchief1:
bros leave me.i use tinubu blokos beg u
Guessing screenshots don't lie.
Most of you married men here are cheats n are not happy with your marriages.

If you still deny I would go ahead n provide the screenshot of earlier this year where you stated your wife was bonking other men but you're yet to catch her in the act.



Say cheese !

2 Likes

Re: How Do I Confront My Wife With This Kind Of Question by highchief1: 1:42pm On Nov 22, 2023
Biisola:

Guessing screenshots don't lie.
Most of you married men here are cheats n are not happy with your marriages.

If you still deny I would go ahead n provide the screenshot of earlier this year where you stated your wife was bonking other men but you're yet to catch her in the act.



Say cheese !
cheese!can we now rest?
Re: How Do I Confront My Wife With This Kind Of Question by Biisola: 2:07pm On Nov 22, 2023
highchief1:
cheese!can we now rest?
You for nor say cheese nau.
Take care
Re: How Do I Confront My Wife With This Kind Of Question by Munzy14(m): 3:32pm On Nov 22, 2023
Carcholce:


Let me summarize it:

OP married his long time girlfriend and taught her how to fish, She started fishing and started being disrespectful and not submissive. The thing vex OP. OP that was once a church boy was forced to start doing hookup and bending doggy inside his car. The wife noticed but She nor send OP. After OP have had his fill of hookup, he came to his senses and gave his life to Christ. It was after his eyes has cleared that he realized his last born resembles his sisters in law last born.

Did the OPs wife mistakenly fell on her sisters bed and rode her brother in law till he came inside her? OP is confused. So am I.

The question OP is asking now is “Who get the pikin”
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 95/100 in summary..
Re: How Do I Confront My Wife With This Kind Of Question by MrSly(m): 4:03pm On Nov 22, 2023
UnproudLife:
So it happened that at this certain time, I was running a lucrative business that had so much cashflow., to the tune of about 2-4m monthly and I married my long-time girlfriend whom I disvirgined and had been dating for 7 years.

The moment we married and started the family journey, I tried making conversations about having a core family standard that would make harmony stand the test of time. Note that I am a man who is disciplined and goal-oriented. So first I approached my wife with a conversation on how to both make meaningful contributions in getting the family from point A to B at all times, to be more detailed, one of the conversations we had was about our finances because I also mentored her in the same business and she was raking in cash as well and was profitable.

I asked her that we make it a habit of both of us making contributions, having a certain joint account where we drop in cash from a certain amount we make sure we get paid monthly from our businesses. This was because while I was a reasonable spender who knows that if I go broke nobody got my back in the whole wide world. I'm the kinda person who when I spend, let's say for example, 200k just knows I'm worth times 30 of that but even with that I didn't have a concrete structure in business, I just spend money or do things as though my business was an extension of me, which the same was my wife's as well. And this was the reason I wanted us to make the conversation and also do things together. So I told her when we get paid monthly from our businesses we send a certain percentage of it to a joint account to run the family and if I was doing let's say 70k she should do like 30k because, with all honesty, I valued her business at if not half of mine or slightly above it was close at the time. And this was immediately we got married oh.

I was met with strong refusal, as she told me I married her and it was my duty to cater for everything, but as a patient person that I am in not making my judgement rashly I kept trying to convince her. I did till when it dawned on me that we was stern with her objection. And then this created in me a sense of deep selfishness from my wife and also note that I wasn't ever nosey about her income and even though I had a way to access her accounts to monitor Everything I wasn't interested and I was being the sole provider in the family while I watched my wife spend her money how she liked, making decisions that should involve me with her sister and calling some things to surprise me, and I don't mean it negatively.

It happened that i started a project in building a house 3years before we married which I'd credit to her sisters's advice and by the time we married we were already done with the roofing, remaining plastering and the rest. We were living at a very moderate house in town but had this project at a suburb in lagos which we all know that as a lagosian is still Lagos but only that the area would be less expensive. So at a time we were planning moving to a better apartment in town when her sister and her friend advised we pour money in completing our own place to move in. After much convincing I agreed and God blessed the most during this period in business so I had a dream house kind of finishing to the interior and we moved in.

During this time we were managing living at our business place because I was still accommodating her in my business space and we lived there and went home ones or twice in 2 weeks as it was easier with my driving. We then had a certain disagreement that made my wife without my agreement move her business and everything to that house and the area sighting her sister advicing it be done. I winked at it for peace to reign and because I wasn't a fool. Sorry without having to correct what I typed up there, this was the real account of what happened. When we had our first child she moved directly there and I went home weekends while running both businesses with me just directing her staffs and guiding them with discipline. We all know when you leave business for strangers it's OYO but all that doesn't mean I was also having access to her money, the money went to her while I managed the business.

This also was playing out while we dated and got married in how she never likes making any expenditure in even the cost of executing her jobs, and she would rather blackmail which I don't buy and because at those times I stick to mindset in business she'd rebel and take rash decision that would later backfire. So that was how she came one day and moved her everything to the area where we built saying her sister advised it.

I was a faithful man, a born again personality who ever since I gave my life to Christ about 5years to our marriage I stopped having fornication even with her or anyone and till that point in the marriage. So as she had moved, ye little things I knew in her business started diminishing while I was running the family financially. But this lady was always making me feel less than a man because she was so so not submissive even though I married her with the us being both core Christians and born again where she was even more fired up than me so we all knew submissiveness was the watchword but she wouldn't sub to it at this point and when I was home she'd make life miserable for me shouting in an area that the voice travels far, insult my life telling me that she regretted marrying me because I was a person who just wouldn't budge and I used to say I don't "think" as in the thinking that leads to depression and I guess this was why she wasn't having it. I always found ways to channel my thoughts to things positive that gets me going and even forgiving her on time while she sometimes take days to stop keeping malice.

This lady graduated to the aspect of telling me she stooped so low marrying me and I could go out and meet other ladies that she wouldn't even give a damn, and this went on for a long time. Without exaggeration, I myself was someone that in her words she feel for initially because of my looks although I was 5"7 and she like 5"6 in height which isn't that short for a man. I knew how young in thought and look I was when I start taking care of myself and dressing nice again and without a doubt an handsome man, so it got to a point I said to myself I've had enough. At this time I was already lusting at my spec in ladies out there in which I married her like but she refused to remain at. I brushed off and even while being in my early 30s I had several ladies saying I looked 23-26 in age and I started meeting ladies and having affairs with multiple through platforms and it was mind-blowing to me because they were telling me I looked better in person even though the profile pictures I had were compelling themselves. So I had several young ladies wishing we were dating for real but u didn't want that and wouldn't lie to get them laid with promises but the only lie I told was that I wasn't married neither with kids which some weren't even suspecting not to talk of asking such. But something was just not clicking with the way guys if this age behave when I relate with them and this is when we have more deeper relations and then they start sensing the nature of responsibility which makes them ask if I was married.

So at this point I said to myself, I was separated from my wife and I told her in several occasions because I wasn't going home as often as before she noticed all the changes in my looks but cared less. I was so far gone in having other ladies that I didn't even know what could ever make me wanna get back with her again. But in all these I was still a man who doesn't believe in divorce, which is what I always tell her made her misbehave. Then lemme note this. I was so far gone playing churchy Al these years I never knew the age had turned around and ladies were now so much for sale, I could remember hearing the word hookup for the first time 2 years ago when I had started contemplating cheating and I turned so many girls down on those platforms when I understood what hookup meant. I mostly kept them friends online for whining and all and I went off without meeting anyone until last year, that same last year by almost the middle of the year I had my first encounter with a lady who was almost begging I had s*X with her right in my car as the car was tinted at the back, and this was while being friends. I refused and explained I had never done it before. But a month later I started getting in the act until miraculously this year at mid year I had been longing for a change in lifestyle when I got the gift of repentance right in church and I just at this moment didn't care what my wife had ever done to me, I just forgave her in my heart, asked for forgiveness from God. Then it has been happening lately by then that she had been begging me and her sister was saying she in the person of my wife was already fed up and wanted to beg back in good terms with me but you know basking in the love of flesh I wasn't into it and knowing she was the kind that goes back to her vomit. But at this point I determined to make her come where I was and then we reconcile. But shortly after I did restitution with her and told her all I had done and what she made be go into but to my surprise she was so disappointed crying and telling me all sorts which was surprising to me because I expected this woman should have already seen the writing on the wall because I don't know how to pretend at all but she said she never suspected that she knew I was a Christian. Although I played a clean game but was was obvious was the fact that I changed in looks and all and shouldn't that be glaring. And now she only sober occasionally when the thoughts kicks in

My main problem now is that, while my first child is a copy of me, I started seeing the looks of my sister in law's last born in my last kid, which my mum has vaguely noted and I seconded. We can't even nurture the thought as we just said it. But personally each day I now stay with the kid I keep looking the semblance and thinking what if my bro in law which is my sister in law's hobby fathered this child. You see that would have out the child conception at about 3 months before I ever started having affairs outside marriage. I just wish to know what you guys think because I haven't even been able to ask any question relating to that as my wife just seem to off to ever fall into such.

Please ignore any typo as it was long and I'm trying to get by with a new course and it'll be hard to go through what I've written again. Pardon me

You make 2 to 4 million monthly, spare 150k and go for DNA test with the child under doubt. Resemblance or not is baseless.
Re: How Do I Confront My Wife With This Kind Of Question by jobadaiya: 6:45pm On Nov 22, 2023
OP's original sin is simply lack of boundary which you mentioned.
2. He allowed some religious malware programming to take over him, including that harmful 'allowing peace to reign.'
3. No 2 above messes up with his leadership role in the union; with the spiralling consequences on both sides. A man who firmly leads as the captain and with a strong boundary that he actively polices would considerably tame his woman. I mean, gives her a strong sense of direction. This wasn't there and the woman chooses to be doing anyhow.
4. Guy must have to face his business squarely first before anything. Then, go on a therapy or heal up before setting up boundaries to safeguard himself.
5. After taking his time on No 4 above, which must have primed him up psychologically, he can then go for DNA test on all the kids.
6. Separation is something OP should consider first; if possible with immediate effect and he should be more security and safety conscious going forward.


Dogalmighty17:
Technically, you don't have a wife. What you have at home is a bi(t)ch. You are also a fool! What are you confessing to your wife for? You want her to poison you? Oga this cheating thing plenty men dey run am. If everybody start to confess like this no be burn dis country go burn down?

Forget about your wife o! Those her tears are a trap. That woman will deal with you badly. I hope your stupid love didn't allow you put her names on the documents of the house? It is time you start keeping money aside for yourself. You will need it.

Why does your wifes sister seem to have so much say in your home? Can't you see that they have put you in the middle and playing kalu-kalu on your head? And in all you said I'm shocked your mother is still alive and watching all this nonsense unfold.

Your epistle is painful to read. And inside hangover wey I dey manage I still read all of am. The only thing that will reset your wifes brain is when she knows you have fallen in love with another woman. So go out there and look for that woman. You owe your wife nothing so long as she keeps serving you disrespect.

And about your child that you doubt the paternity of, what is the use of your money if by now you haven't done a DNA test? Be there whining like an efulefu. No just allow me insult you this morning o.
Re: How Do I Confront My Wife With This Kind Of Question by 22just: 7:53pm On Nov 22, 2023
How far guy, you don run the DNA?
Re: How Do I Confront My Wife With This Kind Of Question by Father4all: 8:35pm On Dec 02, 2023
Sorry to say. You are a fo.ol.Do DNA
Re: How Do I Confront My Wife With This Kind Of Question by Magnificenttop: 8:44pm On Dec 05, 2023
UnproudLife:
My main problem now is that, while my first child is a copy of me, I started seeing the looks of my sister in law's last born in my last kid, which my mum has vaguely noted and I seconded. We can't even nurture the thought as we just said it. But personally each day I now stay with the kid I keep looking the semblance and thinking what if my bro in law which is my sister in law's hobby fathered this child. You see that would have out the child conception at about 3 months before I ever started having affairs outside marriage. I just wish to know what you guys think because I haven't even been able to ask any question relating to that as my wife just seem to off to ever fall into such.
What's the issue in a child looking like his cousin? Haven't you seen people who look more like their cousins than their direct siblings?
Your brother's child can be a look alike of your child and your wife sister's child can be a look alike of your child since their mothers are siblings.
If this particular kid looks like his dad and then your son looks like them or your wife and her sister are not blood siblings, that is what you should have rather said.
You wrote so much only to still miss the simple point.
Re: How Do I Confront My Wife With This Kind Of Question by UnproudLife: 9:31pm On Dec 05, 2023
Magnificenttop:

What's the issue in a child looking like his cousin? Haven't you seen people who look more like their cousins than their direct siblings?
Your brother's child can be a look alike of your child and your wife sister's child can be a look alike of your child since their mothers are siblings.
If this particular kid looks like his dad and then your son look like them or your wife and her sister are not blood siblings, that is what you should have rather said.
You wrote so much only to still miss the simple point.
At the end you yourself wrote so much only to seem as though **** lemme not talk. Have you read all my responses to make this your conclusion?
Re: How Do I Confront My Wife With This Kind Of Question by Magnificenttop: 11:20am On Dec 06, 2023
UnproudLife:

At the end you yourself wrote so much only to seem as though **** lemme not talk. Have you read all my responses to make this your conclusion?
At least, I clearly made different points in the few I wrote while you couldn't make a point in the lot you wrote.
I have to read side responses before I can get the simple point you should've made in the lengthy, main post? How does that even sound to you?
Your hard attempt to defend/drag something so obvious says more about you.

(1) (2) (3) ... (5) (6) (7) (8) (Reply)

One Day, He Will Be Told To Choose Between His Girlfriend And Mother (Picture) / Save Me From Entitled Inlaws / Woman Celebrates Her Quadruplets At 6 Months (Photos)

(Go Up)

Sections: politics (1) business autos (1) jobs (1) career education (1) romance computers phones travel sports fashion health
religion celebs tv-movies music-radio literature webmasters programming techmarket

Links: (1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) (9) (10)

Nairaland - Copyright © 2005 - 2024 Oluwaseun Osewa. All rights reserved. See How To Advertise. 203
Disclaimer: Every Nairaland member is solely responsible for anything that he/she posts or uploads on Nairaland.