UnproudLife:
So it happened that at this certain time, I was running a lucrative business that had so much cashflow., to the tune of about 2-4m monthly and I married my long-time girlfriend whom I disvirgined and had been dating for 7 years.

The moment we married and started the family journey, I tried making conversations about having a core family standard that would make harmony stand the test of time. Note that I am a man who is disciplined and goal-oriented. So first I approached my wife with a conversation on how to both make meaningful contributions in getting the family from point A to B at all times, to be more detailed, one of the conversations we had was about our finances because I also mentored her in the same business and she was raking in cash as well and was profitable.

I asked her that we make it a habit of both of us making contributions, having a certain joint account where we drop in cash from a certain amount we make sure we get paid monthly from our businesses. This was because while I was a reasonable spender who knows that if I go broke nobody got my back in the whole wide world. I'm the kinda person who when I spend, let's say for example, 200k just knows I'm worth times 30 of that but even with that I didn't have a concrete structure in business, I just spend money or do things as though my business was an extension of me, which the same was my wife's as well. And this was the reason I wanted us to make the conversation and also do things together. So I told her when we get paid monthly from our businesses we send a certain percentage of it to a joint account to run the family and if I was doing let's say 70k she should do like 30k because, with all honesty, I valued her business at if not half of mine or slightly above it was close at the time. And this was immediately we got married oh.

I was met with strong refusal, as she told me I married her and it was my duty to cater for everything, but as a patient person that I am in not making my judgement rashly I kept trying to convince her. I did till when it dawned on me that we was stern with her objection. And then this created in me a sense of deep selfishness from my wife and also note that I wasn't ever nosey about her income and even though I had a way to access her accounts to monitor Everything I wasn't interested and I was being the sole provider in the family while I watched my wife spend her money how she liked, making decisions that should involve me with her sister and calling some things to surprise me, and I don't mean it negatively.

It happened that i started a project in building a house 3years before we married which I'd credit to her sisters's advice and by the time we married we were already done with the roofing, remaining plastering and the rest. We were living at a very moderate house in town but had this project at a suburb in lagos which we all know that as a lagosian is still Lagos but only that the area would be less expensive. So at a time we were planning moving to a better apartment in town when her sister and her friend advised we pour money in completing our own place to move in. After much convincing I agreed and God blessed the most during this period in business so I had a dream house kind of finishing to the interior and we moved in.

During this time we were managing living at our business place because I was still accommodating her in my business space and we lived there and went home ones or twice in 2 weeks as it was easier with my driving. We then had a certain disagreement that made my wife without my agreement move her business and everything to that house and the area sighting her sister advicing it be done. I winked at it for peace to reign and because I wasn't a fool. Sorry without having to correct what I typed up there, this was the real account of what happened. When we had our first child she moved directly there and I went home weekends while running both businesses with me just directing her staffs and guiding them with discipline. We all know when you leave business for strangers it's OYO but all that doesn't mean I was also having access to her money, the money went to her while I managed the business.

This also was playing out while we dated and got married in how she never likes making any expenditure in even the cost of executing her jobs, and she would rather blackmail which I don't buy and because at those times I stick to mindset in business she'd rebel and take rash decision that would later backfire. So that was how she came one day and moved her everything to the area where we built saying her sister advised it.

I was a faithful man, a born again personality who ever since I gave my life to Christ about 5years to our marriage I stopped having fornication even with her or anyone and till that point in the marriage. So as she had moved, ye little things I knew in her business started diminishing while I was running the family financially. But this lady was always making me feel less than a man because she was so so not submissive even though I married her with the us being both core Christians and born again where she was even more fired up than me so we all knew submissiveness was the watchword but she wouldn't sub to it at this point and when I was home she'd make life miserable for me shouting in an area that the voice travels far, insult my life telling me that she regretted marrying me because I was a person who just wouldn't budge and I used to say I don't "think" as in the thinking that leads to depression and I guess this was why she wasn't having it. I always found ways to channel my thoughts to things positive that gets me going and even forgiving her on time while she sometimes take days to stop keeping malice.

This lady graduated to the aspect of telling me she stooped so low marrying me and I could go out and meet other ladies that she wouldn't even give a damn, and this went on for a long time. Without exaggeration, I myself was someone that in her words she feel for initially because of my looks although I was 5"7 and she like 5"6 in height which isn't that short for a man. I knew how young in thought and look I was when I start taking care of myself and dressing nice again and without a doubt an handsome man, so it got to a point I said to myself I've had enough. At this time I was already lusting at my spec in ladies out there in which I married her like but she refused to remain at. I brushed off and even while being in my early 30s I had several ladies saying I looked 23-26 in age and I started meeting ladies and having affairs with multiple through platforms and it was mind-blowing to me because they were telling me I looked better in person even though the profile pictures I had were compelling themselves. So I had several young ladies wishing we were dating for real but u didn't want that and wouldn't lie to get them laid with promises but the only lie I told was that I wasn't married neither with kids which some weren't even suspecting not to talk of asking such. But something was just not clicking with the way guys if this age behave when I relate with them and this is when we have more deeper relations and then they start sensing the nature of responsibility which makes them ask if I was married.

So at this point I said to myself, I was separated from my wife and I told her in several occasions because I wasn't going home as often as before she noticed all the changes in my looks but cared less. I was so far gone in having other ladies that I didn't even know what could ever make me wanna get back with her again. But in all these I was still a man who doesn't believe in divorce, which is what I always tell her made her misbehave. Then lemme note this. I was so far gone playing churchy Al these years I never knew the age had turned around and ladies were now so much for sale, I could remember hearing the word hookup for the first time 2 years ago when I had started contemplating cheating and I turned so many girls down on those platforms when I understood what hookup meant. I mostly kept them friends online for whining and all and I went off without meeting anyone until last year, that same last year by almost the middle of the year I had my first encounter with a lady who was almost begging I had s*X with her right in my car as the car was tinted at the back, and this was while being friends. I refused and explained I had never done it before. But a month later I started getting in the act until miraculously this year at mid year I had been longing for a change in lifestyle when I got the gift of repentance right in church and I just at this moment didn't care what my wife had ever done to me, I just forgave her in my heart, asked for forgiveness from God. Then it has been happening lately by then that she had been begging me and her sister was saying she in the person of my wife was already fed up and wanted to beg back in good terms with me but you know basking in the love of flesh I wasn't into it and knowing she was the kind that goes back to her vomit. But at this point I determined to make her come where I was and then we reconcile. But shortly after I did restitution with her and told her all I had done and what she made be go into but to my surprise she was so disappointed crying and telling me all sorts which was surprising to me because I expected this woman should have already seen the writing on the wall because I don't know how to pretend at all but she said she never suspected that she knew I was a Christian. Although I played a clean game but was was obvious was the fact that I changed in looks and all and shouldn't that be glaring. And now she only sober occasionally when the thoughts kicks in

My main problem now is that, while my first child is a copy of me, I started seeing the looks of my sister in law's last born in my last kid, which my mum has vaguely noted and I seconded. We can't even nurture the thought as we just said it. But personally each day I now stay with the kid I keep looking the semblance and thinking what if my bro in law which is my sister in law's hobby fathered this child. You see that would have out the child conception at about 3 months before I ever started having affairs outside marriage. I just wish to know what you guys think because I haven't even been able to ask any question relating to that as my wife just seem to off to ever fall into such.

Please ignore any typo as it was long and I'm trying to get by with a new course and it'll be hard to go through what I've written again. Pardon me

UnproudLife:

Ok sir/ma

But did you read where I said she verbally pushed into that life? Literally saying she wouldn't care if I got someone else! With the less than a man talk down. Me being a Christian I do know faithfulness isn't promised outside Christ because at that time I wasn't even identifying with being Christian as am no hypocrite.

Ahmed0336:
Bro, this epistle fit kee pesin.


I was skipping some lines so my advice will come from the part I read.

1. You married a troublesome wife who is only using you to uplift herself and family by refusing to have a joint account.
2. If you did cheat, why would you confess to her? You go apologize tire for the rest of your life.
3. If you doubt being the father of that child, please do a DNA.

Free2Fly:


You didn't have the time to finish his write up, but you had time to write 5 paragraphs for him??
Nawaoo

Carcholce:
Wahala!!

I am not married but the points I noted from your post is that.

1. Don’t teach women how to fish, give them fish instead. When giving them the fish, make sure it’s only the head and the tail.

2. Most women will hate you if you are nice man. I don’t know where the hate comes from. It seems natural. You have to be cruel to them, always make them remember the wrong things you did instead of the good. They’ll love you more.

3. If your wife pushes you out with her nagging and disrespectful behavior, and you really go out and start cheating/fornicating, it’s a trap. When you fall into the trap, you’ll fall so hard that you’ll lose more than you can ever recover. This is the ultimate test most men fail

4. About your last born. Only God and DNA test knows the answer. Or you can simply approach your sister in law hubby and ask him if he mistakenly slept with your wife. Just be polite with the question.

Carcholce:


Let me summarize it:

OP married his long time girlfriend and taught her how to fish, She started fishing and started being disrespectful and not submissive. The thing vex OP. OP that was once a church boy was forced to start doing hookup and bending doggy inside his car. The wife noticed but She nor send OP. After OP have had his fill of hookup, he came to his senses and gave his life to Christ. It was after his eyes has cleared that he realized his last born resembles his sisters in law last born.

Did the OPs wife mistakenly fell on her sisters bed and rode her brother in law till he came inside her? OP is confused. So am I.

The question OP is asking now is “Who get the pikin”

UnproudLife:

But sincerely I no too do hookup oo, haba. Had normal girls and hookup was 10% and mostly at earlier stages when I never blend.

Well sha for about 6months I've stopped all that. Thanks to God

UnproudLife:
So it happened that at this certain time, I was running a lucrative business that had so much cashflow., to the tune of about 2-4m monthly and I married my long-time girlfriend whom I disvirgined and had been dating for 7 years.

The moment we married and started the family journey, I tried making conversations about having a core family standard that would make harmony stand the test of time. Note that I am a man who is disciplined and goal-oriented. So first I approached my wife with a conversation on how to both make meaningful contributions in getting the family from point A to B at all times, to be more detailed, one of the conversations we had was about our finances because I also mentored her in the same business and she was raking in cash as well and was profitable.

I asked her that we make it a habit of both of us making contributions, having a certain joint account where we drop in cash from a certain amount we make sure we get paid monthly from our businesses. This was because while I was a reasonable spender who knows that if I go broke nobody got my back in the whole wide world. I'm the kinda person who when I spend, let's say for example, 200k just knows I'm worth times 30 of that but even with that I didn't have a concrete structure in business, I just spend money or do things as though my business was an extension of me, which the same was my wife's as well. And this was the reason I wanted us to make the conversation and also do things together. So I told her when we get paid monthly from our businesses we send a certain percentage of it to a joint account to run the family and if I was doing let's say 70k she should do like 30k because, with all honesty, I valued her business at if not half of mine or slightly above it was close at the time. And this was immediately we got married oh.

I was met with strong refusal, as she told me I married her and it was my duty to cater for everything, but as a patient person that I am in not making my judgement rashly I kept trying to convince her. I did till when it dawned on me that we was stern with her objection. And then this created in me a sense of deep selfishness from my wife and also note that I wasn't ever nosey about her income and even though I had a way to access her accounts to monitor Everything I wasn't interested and I was being the sole provider in the family while I watched my wife spend her money how she liked, making decisions that should involve me with her sister and calling some things to surprise me, and I don't mean it negatively.

It happened that i started a project in building a house 3years before we married which I'd credit to her sisters's advice and by the time we married we were already done with the roofing, remaining plastering and the rest. We were living at a very moderate house in town but had this project at a suburb in lagos which we all know that as a lagosian is still Lagos but only that the area would be less expensive. So at a time we were planning moving to a better apartment in town when her sister and her friend advised we pour money in completing our own place to move in. After much convincing I agreed and God blessed the most during this period in business so I had a dream house kind of finishing to the interior and we moved in.

During this time we were managing living at our business place because I was still accommodating her in my business space and we lived there and went home ones or twice in 2 weeks as it was easier with my driving. We then had a certain disagreement that made my wife without my agreement move her business and everything to that house and the area sighting her sister advicing it be done. I winked at it for peace to reign and because I wasn't a fool. Sorry without having to correct what I typed up there, this was the real account of what happened. When we had our first child she moved directly there and I went home weekends while running both businesses with me just directing her staffs and guiding them with discipline. We all know when you leave business for strangers it's OYO but all that doesn't mean I was also having access to her money, the money went to her while I managed the business.

This also was playing out while we dated and got married in how she never likes making any expenditure in even the cost of executing her jobs, and she would rather blackmail which I don't buy and because at those times I stick to mindset in business she'd rebel and take rash decision that would later backfire. So that was how she came one day and moved her everything to the area where we built saying her sister advised it.

I was a faithful man, a born again personality who ever since I gave my life to Christ about 5years to our marriage I stopped having fornication even with her or anyone and till that point in the marriage. So as she had moved, ye little things I knew in her business started diminishing while I was running the family financially. But this lady was always making me feel less than a man because she was so so not submissive even though I married her with the us being both core Christians and born again where she was even more fired up than me so we all knew submissiveness was the watchword but she wouldn't sub to it at this point and when I was home she'd make life miserable for me shouting in an area that the voice travels far, insult my life telling me that she regretted marrying me because I was a person who just wouldn't budge and I used to say I don't "think" as in the thinking that leads to depression and I guess this was why she wasn't having it. I always found ways to channel my thoughts to things positive that gets me going and even forgiving her on time while she sometimes take days to stop keeping malice.

This lady graduated to the aspect of telling me she stooped so low marrying me and I could go out and meet other ladies that she wouldn't even give a damn, and this went on for a long time. Without exaggeration, I myself was someone that in her words she feel for initially because of my looks although I was 5"7 and she like 5"6 in height which isn't that short for a man. I knew how young in thought and look I was when I start taking care of myself and dressing nice again and without a doubt an handsome man, so it got to a point I said to myself I've had enough. At this time I was already lusting at my spec in ladies out there in which I married her like but she refused to remain at. I brushed off and even while being in my early 30s I had several ladies saying I looked 23-26 in age and I started meeting ladies and having affairs with multiple through platforms and it was mind-blowing to me because they were telling me I looked better in person even though the profile pictures I had were compelling themselves. So I had several young ladies wishing we were dating for real but u didn't want that and wouldn't lie to get them laid with promises but the only lie I told was that I wasn't married neither with kids which some weren't even suspecting not to talk of asking such. But something was just not clicking with the way guys if this age behave when I relate with them and this is when we have more deeper relations and then they start sensing the nature of responsibility which makes them ask if I was married.

So at this point I said to myself, I was separated from my wife and I told her in several occasions because I wasn't going home as often as before she noticed all the changes in my looks but cared less. I was so far gone in having other ladies that I didn't even know what could ever make me wanna get back with her again. But in all these I was still a man who doesn't believe in divorce, which is what I always tell her made her misbehave. Then lemme note this. I was so far gone playing churchy Al these years I never knew the age had turned around and ladies were now so much for sale, I could remember hearing the word hookup for the first time 2 years ago when I had started contemplating cheating and I turned so many girls down on those platforms when I understood what hookup meant. I mostly kept them friends online for whining and all and I went off without meeting anyone until last year, that same last year by almost the middle of the year I had my first encounter with a lady who was almost begging I had s*X with her right in my car as the car was tinted at the back, and this was while being friends. I refused and explained I had never done it before. But a month later I started getting in the act until miraculously this year at mid year I had been longing for a change in lifestyle when I got the gift of repentance right in church and I just at this moment didn't care what my wife had ever done to me, I just forgave her in my heart, asked for forgiveness from God. Then it has been happening lately by then that she had been begging me and her sister was saying she in the person of my wife was already fed up and wanted to beg back in good terms with me but you know basking in the love of flesh I wasn't into it and knowing she was the kind that goes back to her vomit. But at this point I determined to make her come where I was and then we reconcile. But shortly after I did restitution with her and told her all I had done and what she made be go into but to my surprise she was so disappointed crying and telling me all sorts which was surprising to me because I expected this woman should have already seen the writing on the wall because I don't know how to pretend at all but she said she never suspected that she knew I was a Christian. Although I played a clean game but was was obvious was the fact that I changed in looks and all and shouldn't that be glaring. And now she only sober occasionally when the thoughts kicks in

My main problem now is that, while my first child is a copy of me, I started seeing the looks of my sister in law's last born in my last kid, which my mum has vaguely noted and I seconded. We can't even nurture the thought as we just said it. But personally each day I now stay with the kid I keep looking the semblance and thinking what if my bro in law which is my sister in law's hobby fathered this child. You see that would have out the child conception at about 3 months before I ever started having affairs outside marriage. I just wish to know what you guys think because I haven't even been able to ask any question relating to that as my wife just seem to off to ever fall into such.

Please ignore any typo as it was long and I'm trying to get by with a new course and it'll be hard to go through what I've written again. Pardon me

Carcholce:


Let me summarize it:

OP married his long time girlfriend and taught her how to fish, She started fishing and started being disrespectful and not submissive. The thing vex OP. OP that was once a church boy was forced to start doing hookup and bending doggy inside his car. The wife noticed but She nor send OP. After OP have had his fill of hookup, he came to his senses and gave his life to Christ. It was after his eyes has cleared that he realized his last born resembles his sisters in law last born.

Did the OPs wife mistakenly fell on her sisters bed and rode her brother in law till he came inside her? OP is confused. So am I.

The question OP is asking now is “Who get the pikin”

mrblessed:
It looks more of tale/fabrication than being real.

Namaster:
You made so many mistakes in your relationship.

First of all, VIOLENTLY delete the "I don't believe in divorce" mentality. It's nonsense. It's why both men and women suffer terrible things in marriage.

Back to your wife:

You married a DEMON. While virginity is VERY important in choosing a wife, it should be taken as ONE part of the vetting process.

For instance, you claim she's a HOTTER Christian than you but she keeps malice for extended periods of time.

Also, the fact that she made a lot of money but REFUSED to contribute towards family expenses is pure wickedness.

"You married me" is an excuse so lame that you should have called it quit in that moment.

It's one thing to marry a liability or a trophy wife, it's another thing to marry a woman who has a THRIVING business raking in a boat load of cash and still REFUSING to contribute to household expenses.

The former is on you. The latter is the stuff of devils and demons.

One other thing:

No married man should ever "allow peace to reign. Not if he wants to remain happily married, anyway.

Women are full of sh1t. They will manipulate, cajole and threaten and weep and wail. They do these to test your boundaries.

If you want to continue to "allow peace to reign", you will need to keep shifting your boundaries until they are completely ERODED.

You don't want to see what women are like without boundaries. They make demons look like cute, little cherubs.

Finally, on INFIDELITY.

YOURS:

You are a TERRIBLE person for fucking around while still married. You are a CHEAT that acted irresponsibly.

The fact that you are worried that your wife might have fuc.ked your brother-in-law and is having you raise a bastard makes you a hypocrite.

You f.ucked around while married and you expected a loyal partner. Joker!

Divorce before you start hoeing around. That way, you can f.uck around with a clean conscience. Also, why are you surprised that your wife is hurt by your infidelity?

YOUR WIFE'S INFIDELITY:

Obviously, she's bleeped someone else. Most likely, she's f.ucked the person you suspect her of f.ucking.

You wrote that she's been taking advice from her sister. So, she's probably been visiting her as well. That means she's had ample opportunities to take pieces of advice with a side of DICK on multiple occasions.

WHAT YOU NEED TO DO:

1. Do a DNA test for ALL your kids.

Even the ones that look like you. Do it for ALL of them.

2. END the marriage.

Regardless of the outcome of the DNA test, you must divorce your wife. First, she has no respect for you despite setting up a business for her and even managing it. She makes decisions that would IMPACT both of your lives based on advice from a THIRD PARTY rather talking it out with you. Plus, she's verbally abusive.

Also, you are BOTH terrible people who pretend to be good christians. You are a slow-burning ass.hole while your wife is an incendiary.

3. Do a comprehensive STD test.
Needs no explanation.

UnproudLife:
So it happened that at this certain time, I was running a lucrative business that had so much cashflow., to the tune of about 2-4m monthly and I married my long-time girlfriend whom I disvirgined and had been dating for 7 years.

The moment we married and started the family journey, I tried making conversations about having a core family standard that would make harmony stand the test of time. Note that I am a man who is disciplined and goal-oriented. So first I approached my wife with a conversation on how to both make meaningful contributions in getting the family from point A to B at all times, to be more detailed, one of the conversations we had was about our finances because I also mentored her in the same business and she was raking in cash as well and was profitable.

I asked her that we make it a habit of both of us making contributions, having a certain joint account where we drop in cash from a certain amount we make sure we get paid monthly from our businesses. This was because while I was a reasonable spender who knows that if I go broke nobody got my back in the whole wide world. I'm the kinda person who when I spend, let's say for example, 200k just knows I'm worth times 30 of that but even with that I didn't have a concrete structure in business, I just spend money or do things as though my business was an extension of me, which the same was my wife's as well. And this was the reason I wanted us to make the conversation and also do things together. So I told her when we get paid monthly from our businesses we send a certain percentage of it to a joint account to run the family and if I was doing let's say 70k she should do like 30k because, with all honesty, I valued her business at if not half of mine or slightly above it was close at the time. And this was immediately we got married oh.

I was met with strong refusal, as she told me I married her and it was my duty to cater for everything, but as a patient person that I am in not making my judgement rashly I kept trying to convince her. I did till when it dawned on me that we was stern with her objection. And then this created in me a sense of deep selfishness from my wife and also note that I wasn't ever nosey about her income and even though I had a way to access her accounts to monitor Everything I wasn't interested and I was being the sole provider in the family while I watched my wife spend her money how she liked, making decisions that should involve me with her sister and calling some things to surprise me, and I don't mean it negatively.

It happened that i started a project in building a house 3years before we married which I'd credit to her sisters's advice and by the time we married we were already done with the roofing, remaining plastering and the rest. We were living at a very moderate house in town but had this project at a suburb in lagos which we all know that as a lagosian is still Lagos but only that the area would be less expensive. So at a time we were planning moving to a better apartment in town when her sister and her friend advised we pour money in completing our own place to move in. After much convincing I agreed and God blessed the most during this period in business so I had a dream house kind of finishing to the interior and we moved in.

During this time we were managing living at our business place because I was still accommodating her in my business space and we lived there and went home ones or twice in 2 weeks as it was easier with my driving. We then had a certain disagreement that made my wife without my agreement move her business and everything to that house and the area sighting her sister advicing it be done. I winked at it for peace to reign and because I wasn't a fool. Sorry without having to correct what I typed up there, this was the real account of what happened. When we had our first child she moved directly there and I went home weekends while running both businesses with me just directing her staffs and guiding them with discipline. We all know when you leave business for strangers it's OYO but all that doesn't mean I was also having access to her money, the money went to her while I managed the business.

This also was playing out while we dated and got married in how she never likes making any expenditure in even the cost of executing her jobs, and she would rather blackmail which I don't buy and because at those times I stick to mindset in business she'd rebel and take rash decision that would later backfire. So that was how she came one day and moved her everything to the area where we built saying her sister advised it.

I was a faithful man, a born again personality who ever since I gave my life to Christ about 5years to our marriage I stopped having fornication even with her or anyone and till that point in the marriage. So as she had moved, ye little things I knew in her business started diminishing while I was running the family financially. But this lady was always making me feel less than a man because she was so so not submissive even though I married her with the us being both core Christians and born again where she was even more fired up than me so we all knew submissiveness was the watchword but she wouldn't sub to it at this point and when I was home she'd make life miserable for me shouting in an area that the voice travels far, insult my life telling me that she regretted marrying me because I was a person who just wouldn't budge and I used to say I don't "think" as in the thinking that leads to depression and I guess this was why she wasn't having it. I always found ways to channel my thoughts to things positive that gets me going and even forgiving her on time while she sometimes take days to stop keeping malice.

This lady graduated to the aspect of telling me she stooped so low marrying me and I could go out and meet other ladies that she wouldn't even give a damn, and this went on for a long time. Without exaggeration, I myself was someone that in her words she feel for initially because of my looks although I was 5"7 and she like 5"6 in height which isn't that short for a man. I knew how young in thought and look I was when I start taking care of myself and dressing nice again and without a doubt an handsome man, so it got to a point I said to myself I've had enough. At this time I was already lusting at my spec in ladies out there in which I married her like but she refused to remain at. I brushed off and even while being in my early 30s I had several ladies saying I looked 23-26 in age and I started meeting ladies and having affairs with multiple through platforms and it was mind-blowing to me because they were telling me I looked better in person even though the profile pictures I had were compelling themselves. So I had several young ladies wishing we were dating for real but u didn't want that and wouldn't lie to get them laid with promises but the only lie I told was that I wasn't married neither with kids which some weren't even suspecting not to talk of asking such. But something was just not clicking with the way guys if this age behave when I relate with them and this is when we have more deeper relations and then they start sensing the nature of responsibility which makes them ask if I was married.

So at this point I said to myself, I was separated from my wife and I told her in several occasions because I wasn't going home as often as before she noticed all the changes in my looks but cared less. I was so far gone in having other ladies that I didn't even know what could ever make me wanna get back with her again. But in all these I was still a man who doesn't believe in divorce, which is what I always tell her made her misbehave. Then lemme note this. I was so far gone playing churchy Al these years I never knew the age had turned around and ladies were now so much for sale, I could remember hearing the word hookup for the first time 2 years ago when I had started contemplating cheating and I turned so many girls down on those platforms when I understood what hookup meant. I mostly kept them friends online for whining and all and I went off without meeting anyone until last year, that same last year by almost the middle of the year I had my first encounter with a lady who was almost begging I had s*X with her right in my car as the car was tinted at the back, and this was while being friends. I refused and explained I had never done it before. But a month later I started getting in the act until miraculously this year at mid year I had been longing for a change in lifestyle when I got the gift of repentance right in church and I just at this moment didn't care what my wife had ever done to me, I just forgave her in my heart, asked for forgiveness from God. Then it has been happening lately by then that she had been begging me and her sister was saying she in the person of my wife was already fed up and wanted to beg back in good terms with me but you know basking in the love of flesh I wasn't into it and knowing she was the kind that goes back to her vomit. But at this point I determined to make her come where I was and then we reconcile. But shortly after I did restitution with her and told her all I had done and what she made be go into but to my surprise she was so disappointed crying and telling me all sorts which was surprising to me because I expected this woman should have already seen the writing on the wall because I don't know how to pretend at all but she said she never suspected that she knew I was a Christian. Although I played a clean game but was was obvious was the fact that I changed in looks and all and shouldn't that be glaring. And now she only sober occasionally when the thoughts kicks in

My main problem now is that, while my first child is a copy of me, I started seeing the looks of my sister in law's last born in my last kid, which my mum has vaguely noted and I seconded. We can't even nurture the thought as we just said it. But personally each day I now stay with the kid I keep looking the semblance and thinking what if my bro in law which is my sister in law's hobby fathered this child. You see that would have out the child conception at about 3 months before I ever started having affairs outside marriage. I just wish to know what you guys think because I haven't even been able to ask any question relating to that as my wife just seem to off to ever fall into such.

Please ignore any typo as it was long and I'm trying to get by with a new course and it'll be hard to go through what I've written again. Pardon me

Jesus.... How I wan take resd this kind long thing?

UnproudLife:
So it happened that at this certain time, I was running a lucrative business that had so much cashflow., to the tune of about 2-4m monthly and I married my long-time girlfriend whom I disvirgined and had been dating for 7 years.

The moment we married and started the family journey, I tried making conversations about having a core family standard that would make harmony stand the test of time. Note that I am a man who is disciplined and goal-oriented. So first I approached my wife with a conversation on how to both make meaningful contributions in getting the family from point A to B at all times, to be more detailed, one of the conversations we had was about our finances because I also mentored her in the same business and she was raking in cash as well and was profitable.

I asked her that we make it a habit of both of us making contributions, having a certain joint account where we drop in cash from a certain amount we make sure we get paid monthly from our businesses. This was because while I was a reasonable spender who knows that if I go broke nobody got my back in the whole wide world. I'm the kinda person who when I spend, let's say for example, 200k just knows I'm worth times 30 of that but even with that I didn't have a concrete structure in business, I just spend money or do things as though my business was an extension of me, which the same was my wife's as well. And this was the reason I wanted us to make the conversation and also do things together. So I told her when we get paid monthly from our businesses we send a certain percentage of it to a joint account to run the family and if I was doing let's say 70k she should do like 30k because, with all honesty, I valued her business at if not half of mine or slightly above it was close at the time. And this was immediately we got married oh.

I was met with strong refusal, as she told me I married her and it was my duty to cater for everything, but as a patient person that I am in not making my judgement rashly I kept trying to convince her. I did till when it dawned on me that we was stern with her objection. And then this created in me a sense of deep selfishness from my wife and also note that I wasn't ever nosey about her income and even though I had a way to access her accounts to monitor Everything I wasn't interested and I was being the sole provider in the family while I watched my wife spend her money how she liked, making decisions that should involve me with her sister and calling some things to surprise me, and I don't mean it negatively.

It happened that i started a project in building a house 3years before we married which I'd credit to her sisters's advice and by the time we married we were already done with the roofing, remaining plastering and the rest. We were living at a very moderate house in town but had this project at a suburb in lagos which we all know that as a lagosian is still Lagos but only that the area would be less expensive. So at a time we were planning moving to a better apartment in town when her sister and her friend advised we pour money in completing our own place to move in. After much convincing I agreed and God blessed the most during this period in business so I had a dream house kind of finishing to the interior and we moved in.

During this time we were managing living at our business place because I was still accommodating her in my business space and we lived there and went home ones or twice in 2 weeks as it was easier with my driving. We then had a certain disagreement that made my wife without my agreement move her business and everything to that house and the area sighting her sister advicing it be done. I winked at it for peace to reign and because I wasn't a fool. Sorry without having to correct what I typed up there, this was the real account of what happened. When we had our first child she moved directly there and I went home weekends while running both businesses with me just directing her staffs and guiding them with discipline. We all know when you leave business for strangers it's OYO but all that doesn't mean I was also having access to her money, the money went to her while I managed the business.

This also was playing out while we dated and got married in how she never likes making any expenditure in even the cost of executing her jobs, and she would rather blackmail which I don't buy and because at those times I stick to mindset in business she'd rebel and take rash decision that would later backfire. So that was how she came one day and moved her everything to the area where we built saying her sister advised it.

I was a faithful man, a born again personality who ever since I gave my life to Christ about 5years to our marriage I stopped having fornication even with her or anyone and till that point in the marriage. So as she had moved, ye little things I knew in her business started diminishing while I was running the family financially. But this lady was always making me feel less than a man because she was so so not submissive even though I married her with the us being both core Christians and born again where she was even more fired up than me so we all knew submissiveness was the watchword but she wouldn't sub to it at this point and when I was home she'd make life miserable for me shouting in an area that the voice travels far, insult my life telling me that she regretted marrying me because I was a person who just wouldn't budge and I used to say I don't "think" as in the thinking that leads to depression and I guess this was why she wasn't having it. I always found ways to channel my thoughts to things positive that gets me going and even forgiving her on time while she sometimes take days to stop keeping malice.

This lady graduated to the aspect of telling me she stooped so low marrying me and I could go out and meet other ladies that she wouldn't even give a damn, and this went on for a long time. Without exaggeration, I myself was someone that in her words she feel for initially because of my looks although I was 5"7 and she like 5"6 in height which isn't that short for a man. I knew how young in thought and look I was when I start taking care of myself and dressing nice again and without a doubt an handsome man, so it got to a point I said to myself I've had enough. At this time I was already lusting at my spec in ladies out there in which I married her like but she refused to remain at. I brushed off and even while being in my early 30s I had several ladies saying I looked 23-26 in age and I started meeting ladies and having affairs with multiple through platforms and it was mind-blowing to me because they were telling me I looked better in person even though the profile pictures I had were compelling themselves. So I had several young ladies wishing we were dating for real but u didn't want that and wouldn't lie to get them laid with promises but the only lie I told was that I wasn't married neither with kids which some weren't even suspecting not to talk of asking such. But something was just not clicking with the way guys if this age behave when I relate with them and this is when we have more deeper relations and then they start sensing the nature of responsibility which makes them ask if I was married.

So at this point I said to myself, I was separated from my wife and I told her in several occasions because I wasn't going home as often as before she noticed all the changes in my looks but cared less. I was so far gone in having other ladies that I didn't even know what could ever make me wanna get back with her again. But in all these I was still a man who doesn't believe in divorce, which is what I always tell her made her misbehave. Then lemme note this. I was so far gone playing churchy Al these years I never knew the age had turned around and ladies were now so much for sale, I could remember hearing the word hookup for the first time 2 years ago when I had started contemplating cheating and I turned so many girls down on those platforms when I understood what hookup meant. I mostly kept them friends online for whining and all and I went off without meeting anyone until last year, that same last year by almost the middle of the year I had my first encounter with a lady who was almost begging I had s*X with her right in my car as the car was tinted at the back, and this was while being friends. I refused and explained I had never done it before. But a month later I started getting in the act until miraculously this year at mid year I had been longing for a change in lifestyle when I got the gift of repentance right in church and I just at this moment didn't care what my wife had ever done to me, I just forgave her in my heart, asked for forgiveness from God. Then it has been happening lately by then that she had been begging me and her sister was saying she in the person of my wife was already fed up and wanted to beg back in good terms with me but you know basking in the love of flesh I wasn't into it and knowing she was the kind that goes back to her vomit. But at this point I determined to make her come where I was and then we reconcile. But shortly after I did restitution with her and told her all I had done and what she made be go into but to my surprise she was so disappointed crying and telling me all sorts which was surprising to me because I expected this woman should have already seen the writing on the wall because I don't know how to pretend at all but she said she never suspected that she knew I was a Christian. Although I played a clean game but was was obvious was the fact that I changed in looks and all and shouldn't that be glaring. And now she only sober occasionally when the thoughts kicks in

My main problem now is that, while my first child is a copy of me, I started seeing the looks of my sister in law's last born in my last kid, which my mum has vaguely noted and I seconded. We can't even nurture the thought as we just said it. But personally each day I now stay with the kid I keep looking the semblance and thinking what if my bro in law which is my sister in law's hobby fathered this child. You see that would have out the child conception at about 3 months before I ever started having affairs outside marriage. I just wish to know what you guys think because I haven't even been able to ask any question relating to that as my wife just seem to off to ever fall into such.

Please ignore any typo as it was long and I'm trying to get by with a new course and it'll be hard to go through what I've written again. Pardon me

Carcholce:


Let me summarize it:

OP married his long time girlfriend and taught her how to fish, She started fishing and started being disrespectful and not submissive. The thing vex OP. OP that was once a church boy was forced to start doing hookup and bending doggy inside his car. The wife noticed but She nor send OP. After OP have had his fill of hookup, he came to his senses and gave his life to Christ. It was after his eyes has cleared that he realized his last born resembles his sisters in law last born.

Did the OPs wife mistakenly fell on her sisters bed and rode her brother in law till he came inside her? OP is confused. So am I.

The question OP is asking now is “Who get the pikin”

Carcholce:
Wahala!!

4. About your last born. Only God and DNA test knows the answer. Or you can simply approach your sister in law hubby and ask him if he mistakenly slept with your wife. Just be polite with the question.

UnproudLife:
So it happened that at this certain time, I was running a lucrative business that had so much cashflow., to the tune of about 2-4m monthly and I married my long-time girlfriend whom I disvirgined and had been dating for 7 years.

The moment we married and started the family journey, I tried making conversations about having a core family standard that would make harmony stand the test of time. Note that I am a man who is disciplined and goal-oriented. So first I approached my wife with a conversation on how to both make meaningful contributions in getting the family from point A to B at all times, to be more detailed, one of the conversations we had was about our finances because I also mentored her in the same business and she was raking in cash as well and was profitable.

I asked her that we make it a habit of both of us making contributions, having a certain joint account where we drop in cash from a certain amount we make sure we get paid monthly from our businesses. This was because while I was a reasonable spender who knows that if I go broke nobody got my back in the whole wide world. I'm the kinda person who when I spend, let's say for example, 200k just knows I'm worth times 30 of that but even with that I didn't have a concrete structure in business, I just spend money or do things as though my business was an extension of me, which the same was my wife's as well. And this was the reason I wanted us to make the conversation and also do things together. So I told her when we get paid monthly from our businesses we send a certain percentage of it to a joint account to run the family and if I was doing let's say 70k she should do like 30k because, with all honesty, I valued her business at if not half of mine or slightly above it was close at the time. And this was immediately we got married oh.

I was met with strong refusal, as she told me I married her and it was my duty to cater for everything, but as a patient person that I am in not making my judgement rashly I kept trying to convince her. I did till when it dawned on me that we was stern with her objection. And then this created in me a sense of deep selfishness from my wife and also note that I wasn't ever nosey about her income and even though I had a way to access her accounts to monitor Everything I wasn't interested and I was being the sole provider in the family while I watched my wife spend her money how she liked, making decisions that should involve me with her sister and calling some things to surprise me, and I don't mean it negatively.

It happened that i started a project in building a house 3years before we married which I'd credit to her sisters's advice and by the time we married we were already done with the roofing, remaining plastering and the rest. We were living at a very moderate house in town but had this project at a suburb in lagos which we all know that as a lagosian is still Lagos but only that the area would be less expensive. So at a time we were planning moving to a better apartment in town when her sister and her friend advised we pour money in completing our own place to move in. After much convincing I agreed and God blessed the most during this period in business so I had a dream house kind of finishing to the interior and we moved in.

During this time we were managing living at our business place because I was still accommodating her in my business space and we lived there and went home ones or twice in 2 weeks as it was easier with my driving. We then had a certain disagreement that made my wife without my agreement move her business and everything to that house and the area sighting her sister advicing it be done. I winked at it for peace to reign and because I wasn't a fool. Sorry without having to correct what I typed up there, this was the real account of what happened. When we had our first child she moved directly there and I went home weekends while running both businesses with me just directing her staffs and guiding them with discipline. We all know when you leave business for strangers it's OYO but all that doesn't mean I was also having access to her money, the money went to her while I managed the business.

This also was playing out while we dated and got married in how she never likes making any expenditure in even the cost of executing her jobs, and she would rather blackmail which I don't buy and because at those times I stick to mindset in business she'd rebel and take rash decision that would later backfire. So that was how she came one day and moved her everything to the area where we built saying her sister advised it.

I was a faithful man, a born again personality who ever since I gave my life to Christ about 5years to our marriage I stopped having fornication even with her or anyone and till that point in the marriage. So as she had moved, ye little things I knew in her business started diminishing while I was running the family financially. But this lady was always making me feel less than a man because she was so so not submissive even though I married her with the us being both core Christians and born again where she was even more fired up than me so we all knew submissiveness was the watchword but she wouldn't sub to it at this point and when I was home she'd make life miserable for me shouting in an area that the voice travels far, insult my life telling me that she regretted marrying me because I was a person who just wouldn't budge and I used to say I don't "think" as in the thinking that leads to depression and I guess this was why she wasn't having it. I always found ways to channel my thoughts to things positive that gets me going and even forgiving her on time while she sometimes take days to stop keeping malice.

This lady graduated to the aspect of telling me she stooped so low marrying me and I could go out and meet other ladies that she wouldn't even give a damn, and this went on for a long time. Without exaggeration, I myself was someone that in her words she feel for initially because of my looks although I was 5"7 and she like 5"6 in height which isn't that short for a man. I knew how young in thought and look I was when I start taking care of myself and dressing nice again and without a doubt an handsome man, so it got to a point I said to myself I've had enough. At this time I was already lusting at my spec in ladies out there in which I married her like but she refused to remain at. I brushed off and even while being in my early 30s I had several ladies saying I looked 23-26 in age and I started meeting ladies and having affairs with multiple through platforms and it was mind-blowing to me because they were telling me I looked better in person even though the profile pictures I had were compelling themselves. So I had several young ladies wishing we were dating for real but u didn't want that and wouldn't lie to get them laid with promises but the only lie I told was that I wasn't married neither with kids which some weren't even suspecting not to talk of asking such. But something was just not clicking with the way guys if this age behave when I relate with them and this is when we have more deeper relations and then they start sensing the nature of responsibility which makes them ask if I was married.

So at this point I said to myself, I was separated from my wife and I told her in several occasions because I wasn't going home as often as before she noticed all the changes in my looks but cared less. I was so far gone in having other ladies that I didn't even know what could ever make me wanna get back with her again. But in all these I was still a man who doesn't believe in divorce, which is what I always tell her made her misbehave. Then lemme note this. I was so far gone playing churchy Al these years I never knew the age had turned around and ladies were now so much for sale, I could remember hearing the word hookup for the first time 2 years ago when I had started contemplating cheating and I turned so many girls down on those platforms when I understood what hookup meant. I mostly kept them friends online for whining and all and I went off without meeting anyone until last year, that same last year by almost the middle of the year I had my first encounter with a lady who was almost begging I had s*X with her right in my car as the car was tinted at the back, and this was while being friends. I refused and explained I had never done it before. But a month later I started getting in the act until miraculously this year at mid year I had been longing for a change in lifestyle when I got the gift of repentance right in church and I just at this moment didn't care what my wife had ever done to me, I just forgave her in my heart, asked for forgiveness from God. Then it has been happening lately by then that she had been begging me and her sister was saying she in the person of my wife was already fed up and wanted to beg back in good terms with me but you know basking in the love of flesh I wasn't into it and knowing she was the kind that goes back to her vomit. But at this point I determined to make her come where I was and then we reconcile. But shortly after I did restitution with her and told her all I had done and what she made be go into but to my surprise she was so disappointed crying and telling me all sorts which was surprising to me because I expected this woman should have already seen the writing on the wall because I don't know how to pretend at all but she said she never suspected that she knew I was a Christian. Although I played a clean game but was was obvious was the fact that I changed in looks and all and shouldn't that be glaring. And now she only sober occasionally when the thoughts kicks in

My main problem now is that, while my first child is a copy of me, I started seeing the looks of my sister in law's last born in my last kid, which my mum has vaguely noted and I seconded. We can't even nurture the thought as we just said it. But personally each day I now stay with the kid I keep looking the semblance and thinking what if my bro in law which is my sister in law's hobby fathered this child. You see that would have out the child conception at about 3 months before I ever started having affairs outside marriage. I just wish to know what you guys think because I haven't even been able to ask any question relating to that as my wife just seem to off to ever fall into such.

Please ignore any typo as it was long and I'm trying to get by with a new course and it'll be hard to go through what I've written again. Pardon me

UnproudLife:
So it happened that at this certain time, I was running a lucrative business that had so much cashflow., to the tune of about 2-4m monthly and I married my long-time girlfriend whom I disvirgined and had been dating for 7 years.

The moment we married and started the family journey, I tried making conversations about having a core family standard that would make harmony stand the test of time. Note that I am a man who is disciplined and goal-oriented. So first I approached my wife with a conversation on how to both make meaningful contributions in getting the family from point A to B at all times, to be more detailed, one of the conversations we had was about our finances because I also mentored her in the same business and she was raking in cash as well and was profitable.

I asked her that we make it a habit of both of us making contributions, having a certain joint account where we drop in cash from a certain amount we make sure we get paid monthly from our businesses. This was because while I was a reasonable spender who knows that if I go broke nobody got my back in the whole wide world. I'm the kinda person who when I spend, let's say for example, 200k just knows I'm worth times 30 of that but even with that I didn't have a concrete structure in business, I just spend money or do things as though my business was an extension of me, which the same was my wife's as well. And this was the reason I wanted us to make the conversation and also do things together. So I told her when we get paid monthly from our businesses we send a certain percentage of it to a joint account to run the family and if I was doing let's say 70k she should do like 30k because, with all honesty, I valued her business at if not half of mine or slightly above it was close at the time. And this was immediately we got married oh.

I was met with strong refusal, as she told me I married her and it was my duty to cater for everything, but as a patient person that I am in not making my judgement rashly I kept trying to convince her. I did till when it dawned on me that we was stern with her objection. And then this created in me a sense of deep selfishness from my wife and also note that I wasn't ever nosey about her income and even though I had a way to access her accounts to monitor Everything I wasn't interested and I was being the sole provider in the family while I watched my wife spend her money how she liked, making decisions that should involve me with her sister and calling some things to surprise me, and I don't mean it negatively.

It happened that i started a project in building a house 3years before we married which I'd credit to her sisters's advice and by the time we married we were already done with the roofing, remaining plastering and the rest. We were living at a very moderate house in town but had this project at a suburb in lagos which we all know that as a lagosian is still Lagos but only that the area would be less expensive. So at a time we were planning moving to a better apartment in town when her sister and her friend advised we pour money in completing our own place to move in. After much convincing I agreed and God blessed the most during this period in business so I had a dream house kind of finishing to the interior and we moved in.

During this time we were managing living at our business place because I was still accommodating her in my business space and we lived there and went home ones or twice in 2 weeks as it was easier with my driving. We then had a certain disagreement that made my wife without my agreement move her business and everything to that house and the area sighting her sister advicing it be done. I winked at it for peace to reign and because I wasn't a fool. Sorry without having to correct what I typed up there, this was the real account of what happened. When we had our first child she moved directly there and I went home weekends while running both businesses with me just directing her staffs and guiding them with discipline. We all know when you leave business for strangers it's OYO but all that doesn't mean I was also having access to her money, the money went to her while I managed the business.

This also was playing out while we dated and got married in how she never likes making any expenditure in even the cost of executing her jobs, and she would rather blackmail which I don't buy and because at those times I stick to mindset in business she'd rebel and take rash decision that would later backfire. So that was how she came one day and moved her everything to the area where we built saying her sister advised it.

I was a faithful man, a born again personality who ever since I gave my life to Christ about 5years to our marriage I stopped having fornication even with her or anyone and till that point in the marriage. So as she had moved, ye little things I knew in her business started diminishing while I was running the family financially. But this lady was always making me feel less than a man because she was so so not submissive even though I married her with the us being both core Christians and born again where she was even more fired up than me so we all knew submissiveness was the watchword but she wouldn't sub to it at this point and when I was home she'd make life miserable for me shouting in an area that the voice travels far, insult my life telling me that she regretted marrying me because I was a person who just wouldn't budge and I used to say I don't "think" as in the thinking that leads to depression and I guess this was why she wasn't having it. I always found ways to channel my thoughts to things positive that gets me going and even forgiving her on time while she sometimes take days to stop keeping malice.

This lady graduated to the aspect of telling me she stooped so low marrying me and I could go out and meet other ladies that she wouldn't even give a damn, and this went on for a long time. Without exaggeration, I myself was someone that in her words she feel for initially because of my looks although I was 5"7 and she like 5"6 in height which isn't that short for a man. I knew how young in thought and look I was when I start taking care of myself and dressing nice again and without a doubt an handsome man, so it got to a point I said to myself I've had enough. At this time I was already lusting at my spec in ladies out there in which I married her like but she refused to remain at. I brushed off and even while being in my early 30s I had several ladies saying I looked 23-26 in age and I started meeting ladies and having affairs with multiple through platforms and it was mind-blowing to me because they were telling me I looked better in person even though the profile pictures I had were compelling themselves. So I had several young ladies wishing we were dating for real but u didn't want that and wouldn't lie to get them laid with promises but the only lie I told was that I wasn't married neither with kids which some weren't even suspecting not to talk of asking such. But something was just not clicking with the way guys if this age behave when I relate with them and this is when we have more deeper relations and then they start sensing the nature of responsibility which makes them ask if I was married.

So at this point I said to myself, I was separated from my wife and I told her in several occasions because I wasn't going home as often as before she noticed all the changes in my looks but cared less. I was so far gone in having other ladies that I didn't even know what could ever make me wanna get back with her again. But in all these I was still a man who doesn't believe in divorce, which is what I always tell her made her misbehave. Then lemme note this. I was so far gone playing churchy Al these years I never knew the age had turned around and ladies were now so much for sale, I could remember hearing the word hookup for the first time 2 years ago when I had started contemplating cheating and I turned so many girls down on those platforms when I understood what hookup meant. I mostly kept them friends online for whining and all and I went off without meeting anyone until last year, that same last year by almost the middle of the year I had my first encounter with a lady who was almost begging I had s*X with her right in my car as the car was tinted at the back, and this was while being friends. I refused and explained I had never done it before. But a month later I started getting in the act until miraculously this year at mid year I had been longing for a change in lifestyle when I got the gift of repentance right in church and I just at this moment didn't care what my wife had ever done to me, I just forgave her in my heart, asked for forgiveness from God. Then it has been happening lately by then that she had been begging me and her sister was saying she in the person of my wife was already fed up and wanted to beg back in good terms with me but you know basking in the love of flesh I wasn't into it and knowing she was the kind that goes back to her vomit. But at this point I determined to make her come where I was and then we reconcile. But shortly after I did restitution with her and told her all I had done and what she made be go into but to my surprise she was so disappointed crying and telling me all sorts which was surprising to me because I expected this woman should have already seen the writing on the wall because I don't know how to pretend at all but she said she never suspected that she knew I was a Christian. Although I played a clean game but was was obvious was the fact that I changed in looks and all and shouldn't that be glaring. And now she only sober occasionally when the thoughts kicks in

My main problem now is that, while my first child is a copy of me, I started seeing the looks of my sister in law's last born in my last kid, which my mum has vaguely noted and I seconded. We can't even nurture the thought as we just said it. But personally each day I now stay with the kid I keep looking the semblance and thinking what if my bro in law which is my sister in law's hobby fathered this child. You see that would have out the child conception at about 3 months before I ever started having affairs outside marriage. I just wish to know what you guys think because I haven't even been able to ask any question relating to that as my wife just seem to off to ever fall into such.

Please ignore any typo as it was long and I'm trying to get by with a new course and it'll be hard to go through what I've written again. Pardon me

UnproudLife:
So it happened that at this certain time, I was running a lucrative business that had so much cashflow., to the tune of about 2-4m monthly and I married my long-time girlfriend whom I disvirgined and had been dating for 7 years.

The moment we married and started the family journey, I tried making conversations about having a core family standard that would make harmony stand the test of time. Note that I am a man who is disciplined and goal-oriented. So first I approached my wife with a conversation on how to both make meaningful contributions in getting the family from point A to B at all times, to be more detailed, one of the conversations we had was about our finances because I also mentored her in the same business and she was raking in cash as well and was profitable.

I asked her that we make it a habit of both of us making contributions, having a certain joint account where we drop in cash from a certain amount we make sure we get paid monthly from our businesses. This was because while I was a reasonable spender who knows that if I go broke nobody got my back in the whole wide world. I'm the kinda person who when I spend, let's say for example, 200k just knows I'm worth times 30 of that but even with that I didn't have a concrete structure in business, I just spend money or do things as though my business was an extension of me, which the same was my wife's as well. And this was the reason I wanted us to make the conversation and also do things together. So I told her when we get paid monthly from our businesses we send a certain percentage of it to a joint account to run the family and if I was doing let's say 70k she should do like 30k because, with all honesty, I valued her business at if not half of mine or slightly above it was close at the time. And this was immediately we got married oh.

I was met with strong refusal, as she told me I married her and it was my duty to cater for everything, but as a patient person that I am in not making my judgement rashly I kept trying to convince her. I did till when it dawned on me that we was stern with her objection. And then this created in me a sense of deep selfishness from my wife and also note that I wasn't ever nosey about her income and even though I had a way to access her accounts to monitor Everything I wasn't interested and I was being the sole provider in the family while I watched my wife spend her money how she liked, making decisions that should involve me with her sister and calling some things to surprise me, and I don't mean it negatively.

It happened that i started a project in building a house 3years before we married which I'd credit to her sisters's advice and by the time we married we were already done with the roofing, remaining plastering and the rest. We were living at a very moderate house in town but had this project at a suburb in lagos which we all know that as a lagosian is still Lagos but only that the area would be less expensive. So at a time we were planning moving to a better apartment in town when her sister and her friend advised we pour money in completing our own place to move in. After much convincing I agreed and God blessed the most during this period in business so I had a dream house kind of finishing to the interior and we moved in.

During this time we were managing living at our business place because I was still accommodating her in my business space and we lived there and went home ones or twice in 2 weeks as it was easier with my driving. We then had a certain disagreement that made my wife without my agreement move her business and everything to that house and the area sighting her sister advicing it be done. I winked at it for peace to reign and because I wasn't a fool. Sorry without having to correct what I typed up there, this was the real account of what happened. When we had our first child she moved directly there and I went home weekends while running both businesses with me just directing her staffs and guiding them with discipline. We all know when you leave business for strangers it's OYO but all that doesn't mean I was also having access to her money, the money went to her while I managed the business.

This also was playing out while we dated and got married in how she never likes making any expenditure in even the cost of executing her jobs, and she would rather blackmail which I don't buy and because at those times I stick to mindset in business she'd rebel and take rash decision that would later backfire. So that was how she came one day and moved her everything to the area where we built saying her sister advised it.

I was a faithful man, a born again personality who ever since I gave my life to Christ about 5years to our marriage I stopped having fornication even with her or anyone and till that point in the marriage. So as she had moved, ye little things I knew in her business started diminishing while I was running the family financially. But this lady was always making me feel less than a man because she was so so not submissive even though I married her with the us being both core Christians and born again where she was even more fired up than me so we all knew submissiveness was the watchword but she wouldn't sub to it at this point and when I was home she'd make life miserable for me shouting in an area that the voice travels far, insult my life telling me that she regretted marrying me because I was a person who just wouldn't budge and I used to say I don't "think" as in the thinking that leads to depression and I guess this was why she wasn't having it. I always found ways to channel my thoughts to things positive that gets me going and even forgiving her on time while she sometimes take days to stop keeping malice.

This lady graduated to the aspect of telling me she stooped so low marrying me and I could go out and meet other ladies that she wouldn't even give a damn, and this went on for a long time. Without exaggeration, I myself was someone that in her words she feel for initially because of my looks although I was 5"7 and she like 5"6 in height which isn't that short for a man. I knew how young in thought and look I was when I start taking care of myself and dressing nice again and without a doubt an handsome man, so it got to a point I said to myself I've had enough. At this time I was already lusting at my spec in ladies out there in which I married her like but she refused to remain at. I brushed off and even while being in my early 30s I had several ladies saying I looked 23-26 in age and I started meeting ladies and having affairs with multiple through platforms and it was mind-blowing to me because they were telling me I looked better in person even though the profile pictures I had were compelling themselves. So I had several young ladies wishing we were dating for real but u didn't want that and wouldn't lie to get them laid with promises but the only lie I told was that I wasn't married neither with kids which some weren't even suspecting not to talk of asking such. But something was just not clicking with the way guys if this age behave when I relate with them and this is when we have more deeper relations and then they start sensing the nature of responsibility which makes them ask if I was married.

So at this point I said to myself, I was separated from my wife and I told her in several occasions because I wasn't going home as often as before she noticed all the changes in my looks but cared less. I was so far gone in having other ladies that I didn't even know what could ever make me wanna get back with her again. But in all these I was still a man who doesn't believe in divorce, which is what I always tell her made her misbehave. Then lemme note this. I was so far gone playing churchy Al these years I never knew the age had turned around and ladies were now so much for sale, I could remember hearing the word hookup for the first time 2 years ago when I had started contemplating cheating and I turned so many girls down on those platforms when I understood what hookup meant. I mostly kept them friends online for whining and all and I went off without meeting anyone until last year, that same last year by almost the middle of the year I had my first encounter with a lady who was almost begging I had s*X with her right in my car as the car was tinted at the back, and this was while being friends. I refused and explained I had never done it before. But a month later I started getting in the act until miraculously this year at mid year I had been longing for a change in lifestyle when I got the gift of repentance right in church and I just at this moment didn't care what my wife had ever done to me, I just forgave her in my heart, asked for forgiveness from God. Then it has been happening lately by then that she had been begging me and her sister was saying she in the person of my wife was already fed up and wanted to beg back in good terms with me but you know basking in the love of flesh I wasn't into it and knowing she was the kind that goes back to her vomit. But at this point I determined to make her come where I was and then we reconcile. But shortly after I did restitution with her and told her all I had done and what she made be go into but to my surprise she was so disappointed crying and telling me all sorts which was surprising to me because I expected this woman should have already seen the writing on the wall because I don't know how to pretend at all but she said she never suspected that she knew I was a Christian. Although I played a clean game but was was obvious was the fact that I changed in looks and all and shouldn't that be glaring. And now she only sober occasionally when the thoughts kicks in

My main problem now is that, while my first child is a copy of me, I started seeing the looks of my sister in law's last born in my last kid, which my mum has vaguely noted and I seconded. We can't even nurture the thought as we just said it. But personally each day I now stay with the kid I keep looking the semblance and thinking what if my bro in law which is my sister in law's hobby fathered this child. You see that would have out the child conception at about 3 months before I ever started having affairs outside marriage. I just wish to know what you guys think because I haven't even been able to ask any question relating to that as my wife just seem to off to ever fall into such.

Please ignore any typo as it was long and I'm trying to get by with a new course and it'll be hard to go through what I've written again. Pardon me