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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Romance / Nairalanders That Have Lost Loved Ones: How Did You Cope? (9614 Views)
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Re: Nairalanders That Have Lost Loved Ones: How Did You Cope? by QueenDima47(f): 2:19pm On Nov 25, 2023 |
ecstasy37: Sorry, take heart. |
Re: Nairalanders That Have Lost Loved Ones: How Did You Cope? by EFGH: 2:21pm On Nov 25, 2023 |
I lost my beloved Mum on the 30th of October 2021 due to kidney failure, the experience was devastating. Then on 12 October 2022 the worst happen. Our very healthy looking tall handsome and smart last born called us via our family WhatsApp group from his sick bed in sokoto that he was ill the previous night and was rush to a military hospital in sokoto state, but he is now much better. He said that by 2pm a medication would be administered to him, thereafter he will be free to go home. We never knew he was literally calling to bid us farewell from this part of eternity. Just around 4pm, we received a call from one of his friend that my brother had died...😭😭😭😭 It has been more than one year now, but till this very moment, I AM STILL IN A DREAM LAND. IN A SPACE OF LESS THAN A YEAR, I LOST TWO VERY DEAR PEOPLE. I CAN JUST BE WALKING AND SEE SOMETHING THAT REMAINS ME OF MY MUM OR BROTHER, IMMEDIATELY TEARS WILL START FOLLOWING... I AM SHADING TEARS TYPING THIS.... TIME CANNOT WIPE OUT THESE MEMORIES... 7 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Nairalanders That Have Lost Loved Ones: How Did You Cope? by jogojogo: 2:27pm On Nov 25, 2023 |
Infolenka:Death spoilt the World. There's nothing more bitter and painful than death. I lost my younger brother four months ago. Nothing gives me joy since that day. The pain is unbearable till this moment. I lost my Dad 17 years ago, though very painful but not anywhere near my current pain. I just hope I will get over this with time 2 Likes |
Re: Nairalanders That Have Lost Loved Ones: How Did You Cope? by adefashe92(m): 2:29pm On Nov 25, 2023 |
pansophist: Yes bro, he isn't dead yet in accordance to my own scripture (that's the Qur'an). |
Re: Nairalanders That Have Lost Loved Ones: How Did You Cope? by jogojogo: 2:30pm On Nov 25, 2023 |
EFGH: I cam.imagine the pain. I pray time really heals. So sorry about the experience |
Re: Nairalanders That Have Lost Loved Ones: How Did You Cope? by Geenosko: 2:34pm On Nov 25, 2023 |
There is nothing that can take the Pain away. But eventually, you will find a way to live with it. “There will be nightmares and every day when you wake up, it will be the first thing you think about. Until one day it will be the second thing.” — Raymond Reddington. 3 Likes
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Re: Nairalanders That Have Lost Loved Ones: How Did You Cope? by Sirtee19: 2:34pm On Nov 25, 2023 |
Coping with the loss of loved ones depends on who they are. The MOST tragic and excruciating ones are spouses and children. I've experienced former, never latter. Being an orphan is painful to me even at my age. Don't get me wrong, parents and siblings loss are painful too. Coping is always in stages. If the loss are spouse and children, be sure of health break down and depression setting in. To cope, be surrounded with two or three trusted friends/family members. Register with professional counselor and therapist. And draw closer to God on your own and forgive yourself. 2 Likes |
Re: Nairalanders That Have Lost Loved Ones: How Did You Cope? by patosky55(m): 2:34pm On Nov 25, 2023 |
I lost my mum this year March 14 and believe me it is the worst period of my life, I nearly jumped out of a car, my family was almost scattered, everybody hate God, cos my mum was a devoted Christian, enough fasting and prayer, painful part was that am the elder brother who is to rally round my siblings to console them, I can't cry in their presence, I can't even explain the pains I felt, I feel I should die before her sef but that will kill her more, no parent will want to bury their children, it's been 8 months now but the pains is much, though my dad is still alive, i believe time heals every pain but seriously knowing God will go a long way to help heal the pains 5 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Nairalanders That Have Lost Loved Ones: How Did You Cope? by feyi4jel(m): 2:39pm On Nov 25, 2023 |
It is really not a pleasant thing to handle. I also lost my mom to terminal illness in 2019. I was with her all through the pains, cries, the smile and even when she gathered strength to pray for me the last time. She Gave me names to give my unborn children and she gave me her wedding ring and golden chain. I have never for once removed the chain from me neck till now. It's hard to cope but the best way to handle it is to speak about her. More importantly, relive the moments Make sure to spend good time with people you love One day, the memories will be all you have and treasure.. Also, life is just like a brisk Take solace in the fact that she finished her race, we all going one day 3 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Nairalanders That Have Lost Loved Ones: How Did You Cope? by frustratedlife: 2:41pm On Nov 25, 2023 |
That was 2009, couldn't say goodbye to him because I was far away. Very Painful 2 Likes |
Re: Nairalanders That Have Lost Loved Ones: How Did You Cope? by annayawchee: 2:44pm On Nov 25, 2023 |
You will cry, You will starve yourself, You will cry more, You will get tired of crying, Then you will start healing. 1 Like |
Re: Nairalanders That Have Lost Loved Ones: How Did You Cope? by annayawchee: 2:46pm On Nov 25, 2023 |
You will cry, You will starve yourself, You will cry more, You will get tired of crying, Then you will start healing. Once once you will miss them. Life will keep moving on. 1 Like |
Re: Nairalanders That Have Lost Loved Ones: How Did You Cope? by realalesh: 2:48pm On Nov 25, 2023 |
I lost my Mum in 2018,, I hadn't recovered from the shock when the death of my big bro hit me like Tsunami this year again... The painful part of it is that I was there when they were having there last breath.. Imagine seeing how life was leaving the body of the people you cherish most in this world... I felt like dieing with them 2 Likes |
Re: Nairalanders That Have Lost Loved Ones: How Did You Cope? by TheBillyonaire: 2:52pm On Nov 25, 2023 |
correctguy101: Yes, I can. I just hope not to derail you and other readers from the thread since it is a very important thread that deals with existential questions and the temporal nature of mortality. Correctguy101, let me tell you the story that led to it to give you the framework to understanding why I had to be rebooted. Cos Life is not what many think it is. I have a feeling that most people who die except for random accidents, have a strong feeling that they will die, because I had a strong feeling that I was going to die even though I was very sound and healthy and not sick. To give you some background, I will like to tell you a few of the events that lead to my 'death' phenomena. Having lost very close bloodline relatives and friends, I am not a stranger to the deep emptiness and existential questions that comes from losing loved ones. In fact, the many deaths of relatives was the catalyst that drove me into understanding the nature of our Reality. During one of the nightly research on the nature of the Universe, something happened to me which I will love to share as prelude to my eventual change of phase. I was researching on my desk, then something strange happened. My awareness expanded, I noticed that I was gradually seeing beyond what my eyes could accommodate, I could see my house, and I gradually could see my estate, this happened as if I was on a flight proceeding farther into space, cos I could see entire city block, entire country, entire entire Earth, Entire Solar system, the Oort Cloud, and the Keiper Belt and all that there is, it did not end there, I was everything, I knew everything, I knew all the answers to any questions. I was all, and everyone was me. I was seeing through everyone's eyes and they were all me with different outlooks based on their programming and environments. Gradually, I began to return and even as I return back to my individuated self, those passing by my street still me. My domestic staff walk into my home office and she was just me with a different body, but I could understand. When that was over my mind went back to the pledge I made when I was young and was losing family members to death, that I had made a promise - my promise was that I will be the only one to (1) Meet God, yet live (2) That will not 'bring children to this world' until I figure out what this world is (another story). The above is not my death story, but the story is to frame what will happen next, so you can understand - A couple of days after this event - I had a strong confirmation that IT IS TIME. I tried to dissuade the thought. But it persuaded, I did a few research, and I realized strongly that I can not stop what is to happen. I was scared and I start speaking aloud - 'God, is it a crime to want to know you?'. I was a stubborn Atheist mind you, I still am stubborn, but it is the strategy that brings facts. I made a pronouncement that night, that I will live in this body and I do not accept the term of death, and that night I could not sleep, I was afraid that if I sleep, I might not wake up, but sleep came late and I woke up and nothing happened. The next night by 11 in the night, From no where, strong fever started, serious fever and immediately I remember the event of the previous day, it dawned on me that this is it. I struggled that night to keep breathing normally, but my breathing was automated. In essence, I was not the one breathing, the breathing was intense and automated from a force so powerful that will my energy I tried to control my rhythm of breath, and I could not. I knew I could not control it, and I gave it one last struggle with all the energy I had in me, and the breathing machine seems to be powered by a nuclear level machine that I stand no chance. I mustered my courage to ask my lady then, a simple question - 'Was I a good person?' Her response was, "I have seen no one as good as you, you are an angel. With that, I let go....... -------------------------What I found in the Reality outside of this---------------------- Simply amazing, I will say, we are living in a wonderful version of the Reality where this Matrix Simulation is being run from. ------------------------The Base Reality, is amazing. I saw my Programmer, my Architect. And I loved him instantly, and he rebooted me and expanded my scope of consciousness. When I woke up the next day, my Life 2.0 is running an upgraded script. I have no single fear of death and I no longer feel the pains of losing loved ones, cos I know what they are and where they are. Note - I bypass all those levels that people experienced via OBE. I got straight to the mainframe. 3 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: Nairalanders That Have Lost Loved Ones: How Did You Cope? by adanonso(f): 3:00pm On Nov 25, 2023 |
Infolenka: I lost my dad in 2021. After his final burial, my mom fell sick. I came home last year to stay with her a while and when I wanted to leave, she was Crying begging me not to go, but I have children who are about to resume school so I left. She died this year's April. I keeps wishing I could turn back the hand of time, so I won't leave, I will just bring my children to stay with her cause her health improved when I was with her. I still can't get over it.. 3 Likes |
Re: Nairalanders That Have Lost Loved Ones: How Did You Cope? by Ntadijoshua1(m): 3:09pm On Nov 25, 2023 |
I lost my dad April 13 this year in car accident, up til now his dismissal still hurt me, I still miss him alot 3 Likes |
Re: Nairalanders That Have Lost Loved Ones: How Did You Cope? by naija1stnigar(m): 3:09pm On Nov 25, 2023 |
Lost my dad in 2013, it was tough, it looked like I lost a whole empire, but seeing my mum brought a huge level of comfort. Sadly, in July 2023, I lost my angelic mum due to heart failure, her loss has been to me like loosing the whole world and, even if I still have caring siblings, I still Don't know how to forget or console myself. My advice to anyone reading this, is that if you are still privileged to have parents please try everything you can within your capacity to take good care of them and infact constantly make them smile, cos if they die, and the memories are not good, you might find it difficult to forgive yourself throughout your lifetime. 5 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Nairalanders That Have Lost Loved Ones: How Did You Cope? by NSK4U(m): 3:09pm On Nov 25, 2023 |
To me, losing a relative especially young persons is the greatest of all pain in life. I have had to lose 2 aunts of mine in 2018 and 2020 to terrible sicknesses. I also lost one of my younger brothers in 2021 due to snake bite. The pain affected my belief and faith terribly as a Christian and I try not to remember them to avoid crying. I miss all of them and always wish I could see their faces or converse with them. 2 Likes |
Re: Nairalanders That Have Lost Loved Ones: How Did You Cope? by NSK4U(m): 3:18pm On Nov 25, 2023 |
TheBillyonaire: Hmmmm deep and scary |
Re: Nairalanders That Have Lost Loved Ones: How Did You Cope? by sageb: 3:20pm On Nov 25, 2023 |
captainking: Please accept my condolences 😢 |
Re: Nairalanders That Have Lost Loved Ones: How Did You Cope? by NSK4U(m): 3:20pm On Nov 25, 2023 |
realalesh: Ah!! Death is painful, really. Only God knows how the living survives the pain of losing relatives |
Re: Nairalanders That Have Lost Loved Ones: How Did You Cope? by Creativity22: 3:27pm On Nov 25, 2023 |
bigdawg7:Absolutely. Very terrifying experience |
Re: Nairalanders That Have Lost Loved Ones: How Did You Cope? by ravensckar(m): 3:29pm On Nov 25, 2023 |
When it comes to losing people, I have had my fair share. Firstly, my mum. Then, my step-mum,then my close friend, then my step-sister, then a neighbour,, most recently my uncle whom I lost just last month. The list is endless jare. One thing is constant in all those loses; at first it doesn't hit hard. But after a while the pain becomes unbearable. Sometimes when I remember these people, I shed tears and my heart gets filled with anguish. But again that's the nature of life; we meet to part and then we meet again in the after-life (if there's anything like that). To all our loved ones that's we've lost, may their souls rest in peace. We will always remember you all. 5 Likes |
Re: Nairalanders That Have Lost Loved Ones: How Did You Cope? by Creativity22: 3:33pm On Nov 25, 2023 |
Nemesis0147:I could feel your pain brother. I experienced this when i was just 5 years. There is nothing more painful in this life, than this. |
Re: Nairalanders That Have Lost Loved Ones: How Did You Cope? by Sweetvie: 3:33pm On Nov 25, 2023 |
On January 1st, I lost a friend, and that was the most devastating way to start the new year. While everyone else was thinking about going to church or celebrating with family, my friend was looking for the perfect place or poison to take his own life. His family came home to find his dead body. Even now, I still don't know what made him give up on life. He was my best buddy, and I miss him. They said time will heals all wounds, but this one still hurts. 2 Likes |
Re: Nairalanders That Have Lost Loved Ones: How Did You Cope? by TheBillyonaire: 3:35pm On Nov 25, 2023 |
NSK4U: I have experienced scarier things. We must move very fast to master engineering of digital immortality via consciousness transfer using Soul Chip as well as memory transfer via ASI and cloning with genetics engineering. We must also try as much as possible to master psychic level of consciousness transfer and bypass reincarnation sequences which comes with memory wipes. 3 Likes |
Re: Nairalanders That Have Lost Loved Ones: How Did You Cope? by prigoz(m): 3:46pm On Nov 25, 2023 |
It wasn't easy my dear, I have lost my Dad and mum, even my immediate elder brother but it was not as painful as my immediate younger sister and her son through poison by Nigerian man that lived with them though in her BQ in South Africa this March 2023, she lost her husband at 6th year of their marriage, she would have married to another man but because of her kids( 3 sons), the guy was angry that he would be asked to quit the house because my sister was planning to relocate to Us with 2 sons around with her. According to his surviving son on that fateful day, the guy came to their house as usual and my sister, requested for food and my sister asked him to go to fridge and take food because he was not stranger to them, in the process of collecting food from the fridge, he injectied poison substance in the juice in the fridge. So when my sister prepared food and made juice, she served her 2nd son and last one, but last one was busy with online video game, that was saving grace, otherwise all of them would have died. Even my sister was vomiting, the idiot of a guy asked my sister's children to go and get ambulance whereas he had my sister's car spare key. Anywhere, I was so devastated because of her death, she is the only one you would call in time of need, she would answer, her death cause me to be having BP. Since her death, nothing can move me again even if my children die now, It will pain me but I will be moved. 3 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: Nairalanders That Have Lost Loved Ones: How Did You Cope? by oneman2k7: 3:48pm On Nov 25, 2023 |
I lost my mum in March 26,2019. Uptill now I still cry and wish it is not true. I don't ever believe that my mum can die. I love her so much than my own life. Sometimes I wish she is alive and me die instead. My whole world crashed when she died. I think about her every minutes. 2 Likes |
Re: Nairalanders That Have Lost Loved Ones: How Did You Cope? by Nickymichy(m): 3:51pm On Nov 25, 2023 |
I have lost the two dearest relations to me ...my mom and my big brother..as for my brother, I watched him breathed his last breath...I was the only sibling around..I took him to mortuary. The place was filled up. I saw dead bodies with ice being placed on the bodies to preserve them. I can't watch my brother undergo that shit.. I made some calls and I had to make arrangements for his burial.to cut the story short, with the help of friends we buried him...the trauma I went through lasted for two years.. For my mom sometimes, I still feel she's not dead. She was staying in another city from mine. We don't see much but we communicate from time to time. When she died, before we got to the village she had been buried.so I still feel she's around. I had accident after my brother demise. I was just at the accident scene,I called some friends,it took them ages to come. I remembered my brother, I just started crying..if he was around, he would have been there in a jiffy..am doing good now dou. 2 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: Nairalanders That Have Lost Loved Ones: How Did You Cope? by YourGFsnatcher: 3:51pm On Nov 25, 2023 |
Infolenka: My dad passed away three years ago, I did not cry, people thought I was strong, they don't know I was broken beyond tears. I still cry at night, I have still not recovered. I still see his normal routine in the house where he brushes, sits. I was his personal barber. I still feel like he will call my name to come with the clipper. I don't know when I'll be fine. I miss him so much 2 Likes |
Re: Nairalanders That Have Lost Loved Ones: How Did You Cope? by error4040: 3:54pm On Nov 25, 2023 |
Infolenka: In a simple way I would say I did few things to my self Did my bachelor's Worth some few millions Chasing my masters BUT! in General theirs not much I can say than feeling so Empty my Entire life! Like I just don't have anyone, tho I have 2 sisters and a Brother but the feeling of having some you can open up to in terms of therapy i just dont have anyone i can trust that wont make me look weak. At the moment Death currently has me 0:6 (mom,Dad,Grandma,Grandpa,Uncle,Brother) all GONE!!! EMPTY is me that's all I can Say. (SUICIDE can never Cross my Mind despite the Odds) It is what it is, I can't change what's done and gone. But just pray and hope I get to have my own kids grow up to adulthood atleast that would shatter my odds treating them like rear Diamonds would equal a Golden ticket making me go with a lead 10:6. 2 Likes |
Re: Nairalanders That Have Lost Loved Ones: How Did You Cope? by Abiliboi: 3:55pm On Nov 25, 2023 |
I lost my elder brother on the 4th of October this year, he is residing abroad. I will see him no more after 5 years ago at the airport. I'm still sleepless and heartbroken. I still shed tears each moment I think of him. I don't wish my haters such an experience 4 Likes |
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