₦airaland Forum

folake4u:
Wo. I nor get strength for long talk. I said I found your post amusing, that's all.

we are not arguing. Just sharing our minds. Lol

I might learn from u.

Klass99:
I am not in the diaspora but I stumbled on a thread where someone made a sensible comment about this same issue.

They said something to the effect of everyone being too smart because of their papers/stay, nobody wants to compromise or make sacrifices, for the sake of an authentic relationship because too much sense is worrying all of you there.Na una know wetin dey worry all of you sha!

From my observations, there's a tendency in most of you japarians to gravitate towards self conceit and a vain superiority complex, where you start to think you're better than other Nigerians because;

1. You've lived in obodo for XYZ number of years or you have papers, so even new immigrant Nigerians are like an affront to you guys (meaning their very presence in your host country is like an offence)

2. You think with your papers you have finally arrived what can any Nigerian offer you again. But your papers alone don't provide healthy social interactions, good friendships or companionship, laughter and fun moments with others.

I see that superiority complex even here on NL with folks who haven't lived overseas for 2 years, I smile and shake my head, thinking to myself, poverty is really not a good thing. When you grow up privileged very little about the white man trips you to a point where you start to insult or look down on your country and fellow country men. Because you grow up knowing what your own people are made of and capable of. It's not so much about privilege alone, but having a healthy dose and sense of self worth, self esteem and self love.

My friend engaged an asian cabbie in conversation in the UK, while riding in his car. The cabbie told her it is very disappointing to see the way we Africans/Nigerians in particular behave overseas. He said we are quick to throw away our cultural values to embrace western ones, we are the ones who are quick to talk back to parents and disrespect them (that was an incident he witnessed in his cab with a Nigerian family)

Whereas he sees Indians, Chinese and some Asians hold onto their cultural values and practices, maintaining the family unit, and refusing to let the west negatively influence them. I think the cabbie's experience and narrative, may help you understand why you are having a hard time finding a Nigerian date.

Good point!

jaxxy:
we are not arguing. Just sharing our minds. Lol

I might learn from u.

Oh well, I'd just drop this here and move on.

I don't agree that the average Nigerian woman do not understand love or have feelings.

Nigerian women infact love HARD.

Maybe you've not experienced this before? Or whatever.

Bye.

folake4u:
Oh well, I'd just drop this here and move on.

I don't agree that the average Nigerian woman do not understand love or have feelings.

Nigerian women infact love HARD.

Maybe you've not experienced this before? Or whatever.

Bye.

ok maybe they do but can u tell me what that love is based on? what does she look for when finding love??

Just naturally live spell at bold back word

jaxxy:
ok maybe they do but can u tell me what that love is based on? what does she look for when finding love??

Lol. Na you dey do yourself oh.

folake4u:
Oh well, I'd just drop this here and move on.

I don't agree that the average Nigerian woman do not understand love or have feelings.

Nigerian women infact love HARD.

Maybe you've not experienced this before? Or whatever.

Bye.

the highrt the poverty you are born in, the more a relationship is just a packaged transaction on both sides.

GloriousGbola:
the highrt the poverty you are born in, the more a relationship is just a packaged transaction on both sides.

Lol. I can't relate at all.

folake4u:
Lol. Na you dey do yourself oh.

Lol I like that u are aware of the direction I'm going.

Klass99:
I am not in the diaspora but I stumbled on a thread where someone made a sensible comment about this same issue.

They said something to the effect of everyone being too smart because of their papers/stay, nobody wants to compromise or make sacrifices, for the sake of an authentic relationship because too much sense is worrying all of you there.Na una know wetin dey worry all of you sha!

From my observations, there's a tendency in most of you japarians to gravitate towards self conceit and a vain superiority complex, where you start to think you're better than other Nigerians because;

1. You've lived in obodo for XYZ number of years or you have papers, so even new immigrant Nigerians are like an affront to you guys (meaning their very presence in your host country is like an offence)

2. You think with your papers you have finally arrived what can any Nigerian offer you again. But your papers alone don't provide healthy social interactions, good friendships or companionship, laughter and fun moments with others.

I see that superiority complex even here on NL with folks who haven't lived overseas for 2 years, I smile and shake my head, thinking to myself, poverty is really not a good thing. When you grow up privileged very little about the white man trips you to a point where you start to insult or look down on your country and fellow country men. Because you grow up knowing what your own people are made of and capable of. It's not so much about privilege alone, but having a healthy dose and sense of self worth, self esteem and self love.

My friend engaged an asian cabbie in conversation in the UK, while riding in his car. The cabbie told her it is very disappointing to see the way we Africans/Nigerians in particular behave overseas. He said we are quick to throw away our cultural values to embrace western ones, we are the ones who are quick to talk back to parents and disrespect them (that was an incident he witnessed in his cab with a Nigerian family)

Whereas he sees Indians, Chinese and some Asians hold onto their cultural values and practices, maintaining the family unit, and refusing to let the west negatively influence them. I think the cabbie's experience and narrative, may help you understand why you are having a hard time finding a Nigerian date.

Well-written rubbish. Maybe go to "diaspora" yourself and experience if this is true. This post is guilty of the same thing you're accusing the older immigrants of. It's always some cabbie or some far fetched story that cannot be verified.

People adjusting to their new surroundings and culture is very essential for survival. If you live in a developed country for more than 2 years, you will change inevitably because you start to see the the stark differences in culture and thought that has left Nigeria hopelessly backwards. So when a new immigrant comes to you, and you try to correct them or teach them new realities, they see it as you feeling superior. This is your problem

If your friend and his cabbie have no statistics to back up their views, let them hold their peace.

Don't give up. Keep trying.

MT:
Likes attract.

How do they want to know you dont just want them for papers?

Then, you move abroad at adult stage, most of them are born their and have internalised the culture of the country, which you are still struggling with.

What makes them laugh do not make you laugh.

What they spend money on, you consider frivolous.

Their thinking and orientation largely different from you.

Why dont you date a Nigeria lady who migrated to Nigeria as an adult like you?

It is either you want to take advantage of them, or you are suffering from inferiority complex which you feel can be cured by marrying these so-called "trophy" babes with flawless diction.

Your pathways simply do not align

Men you have a very low IQ and mentality as well

@uuzba, exactly. That's why I said 'being catholic in a multicultural world.' People tend to be too closed-minded culturally, limiting their. loyalties to their tribes or cultures. Thus, they find it difficult to adapt to their new environment and status.

Klass99:
I am not in the diaspora but I stumbled on a thread where someone made a sensible comment about this same issue.

They said something to the effect of everyone being too smart because of their papers/stay, nobody wants to compromise or make sacrifices, for the sake of an authentic relationship because too much sense is worrying all of you there.Na una know wetin dey worry all of you sha!

From my observations, there's a tendency in most of you japarians to gravitate towards self conceit and a vain superiority complex, where you start to think you're better than other Nigerians because;

1. You've lived in obodo for XYZ number of years or you have papers, so even new immigrant Nigerians are like an affront to you guys (meaning their very presence in your host country is like an offence)

2. You think with your papers you have finally arrived what can any Nigerian offer you again. But your papers alone don't provide healthy social interactions, good friendships or companionship, laughter and fun moments with others.

I see that superiority complex even here on NL with folks who haven't lived overseas for 2 years, I smile and shake my head, thinking to myself, poverty is really not a good thing. When you grow up privileged very little about the white man trips you to a point where you start to insult or look down on your country and fellow country men. Because you grow up knowing what your own people are made of and capable of. It's not so much about privilege alone, but having a healthy dose and sense of self worth, self esteem and self love.

My friend engaged an asian cabbie in conversation in the UK, while riding in his car. The cabbie told her it is very disappointing to see the way we Africans/Nigerians in particular behave overseas. He said we are quick to throw away our cultural values to embrace western ones, we are the ones who are quick to talk back to parents and disrespect them (that was an incident he witnessed in his cab with a Nigerian family)

Whereas he sees Indians, Chinese and some Asians hold onto their cultural values and practices, maintaining the family unit, and refusing to let the west negatively influence them. I think the cabbie's experience and narrative, may help you understand why you are having a hard time finding a Nigerian date.

Excellent viewpoint, except, no one is white, or, black for that matter. Those concepts are elements of historical mind control, the effects of which you spoke against.

We who know better should avoid falling into that trap. 🙂

Please spread the word.

kokomilala:
Being Catholic In A Multicultural World, With Imbalances In One's Own Culture

I've tried to offer my own humble answer in my title. You're narrowing your choices where u have nonsense of options: whites, blacks, hispanics, Aussies, Indians etc, etc..

Since women from ur kin don't want to date u, possibly because they've been culturally wired to see relationships as material transactions, then you should be open-minded to women of other races and cultures.

These women, who may happen to be much better socially and financially, would oblige u, I'm certain, in a heartbeat.

We have a dysfunctional culture, sadly. It's the culture of gender consumption, where everything is seen through the prism of how-do-I-maximize this relationship materially? from the mundane boyfriend-girlfriend relationship to marriage.

These days, when I see women in their. 40s still single, I no longer have empathy for them. Most of them, it seems, have traded their choices.

na so my brother

obaidan:
looooooooooool...destiny dey bring only the ones with papers to him

They don't want him.

omooba969:
This would be a liability.

He is also a liability to the ones that have papers.

Kobojunkie:
Which ones are those abeg?

The honour killing kind.

Farki:
Nigerians cultural values are rubbish, if they were good the country won't be a mess and millions of youths won't want to leave.

only an idiot will type an idiotic post like what you typed.

1Sharon:
■ The honour killing kind.

You mean the Arabs?

Kobojunkie:
You mean the Arabs?

Arabs aren't the only ones that do honour killings.

joseph1832:
only an idiot will type an idiotic post like what you typed.

How is he an idiot.

He is only sharing is opinion

You can disagree why start why

Not calling him names.

If the country is Good Nigerians would not travel.

Google we'll United States citizens they hardly leave there country to another country


If your country good nobody would leave.

1Sharon:
I'm not talking about those Asians. I'm talking about the peace be with you kind.

Don't you want peace?

Smile4mee01:
I have been abroad for a while now and i am curious to know why some of our ladies decline dating or marrying fellow Nigerians in the diaspora. I have tried to date a few any they are often quick to assume i am after them for their papers while i just prefer my own, someone who understands my culture and where i have come from. Even when i try to date the ones that don't have paper, regular work visa holders like me. They seem to want to be with the guys that have papers.

Also, when i am old, i would like to return to Nigeria. Marrying outside would make that transition very difficult.

I study other races, Immigrant groups from India and Asia. they work together well, and don't have these difficulty.

Should i give up on being with a Nigerian or keep trying ?

Regards.

Face your front. Why did you go abroad? to marry? face your front.

Memyselfu2009:
How is he an idiot.

He is only sharing is opinion

You can disagree why start why

Not calling him names.

If the country is Good Nigerians would not travel.

Google we'll United States citizens they hardly leave there country to another country

If your country good nobody would leave.

1. He's an idiot because he rubbished his culture or tradition.

2. No doubt, but like they say "opinions are like buttholes, every has one". So his is full of sh1t. He should wash it.

3. It's prudent to call those who rubbish their culture and tradition names like idiot and fool, because that is exactly what they are.

4. I bet China, India and the likes are as bad as Nigeria, that is why their citizens travel abroad right? You should check the number of immigrant who travel to the UK/US and Canada and see if Nigerians are among top 2.

That's all I have for you.

Klass99:
I am not in the diaspora but I stumbled on a thread where someone made a sensible comment about this same issue.

They said something to the effect of everyone being too smart because of their papers/stay, nobody wants to compromise or make sacrifices, for the sake of an authentic relationship because too much sense is worrying all of you there.Na una know wetin dey worry all of you sha!

From my observations, there's a tendency in most of you japarians to gravitate towards self conceit and a vain superiority complex, where you start to think you're better than other Nigerians because;

1. You've lived in obodo for XYZ number of years or you have papers, so even new immigrant Nigerians are like an affront to you guys (meaning their very presence in your host country is like an offence)

2. You think with your papers you have finally arrived what can any Nigerian offer you again. But your papers alone don't provide healthy social interactions, good friendships or companionship, laughter and fun moments with others.

I see that superiority complex even here on NL with folks who haven't lived overseas for 2 years, I smile and shake my head, thinking to myself, poverty is really not a good thing. When you grow up privileged very little about the white man trips you to a point where you start to insult or look down on your country and fellow country men. Because you grow up knowing what your own people are made of and capable of. It's not so much about privilege alone, but having a healthy dose and sense of self worth, self esteem and self love.

My friend engaged an asian cabbie in conversation in the UK, while riding in his car. The cabbie told her it is very disappointing to see the way we Africans/Nigerians in particular behave overseas. He said we are quick to throw away our cultural values to embrace western ones, we are the ones who are quick to talk back to parents and disrespect them (that was an incident he witnessed in his cab with a Nigerian family)

Whereas he sees Indians, Chinese and some Asians hold onto their cultural values and practices, maintaining the family unit, and refusing to let the west negatively influence them. I think the cabbie's experience and narrative, may help you understand why you are having a hard time finding a Nigerian date.

who culture epp? I advise any Nigerian to discard their nigerian culture of anyhowness and try something new for a chance. With all the cultural preservation, where is nigeria in the global stage today?

abegi

1Sharon:
■ Arabs aren't the only ones that do honour killings.

I am having a difficult time pinpointing these "peace be unto you" asians is what. What country/culture dem be?

Kobojunkie:
I am having a difficult time pinpointing these "peace be unto you" asians is what. What country/culture dem be?

Pakistanis, Indians, afghan

Resetinc:
There is no real love feelings for any Nigerian lady abroad, even when u dey on top her for bed she dey calculate her moves… Love to them is an ‘opportunity’ and when she is ok she wil kick your asss..

If you don’t want to regret the rest of your hustling life in your country of residence, avoid any woman that speaks pidgin .. just greet her as a sister and keep moving.. e get why😂

best advice on this thread

sotall:


Run away from Nigerian women resident abroad.

Many of them have the whiteman's gender equality law written all over their behavior/character.Them carry am for head like gala. They are quick to remind you that they can throw you out of the house if you offend them.

They are very arrogant and have thrown away the respect women accord men back home.

The worst part is many of them become single mums and their toxic behaviors ensures they are chronically sex-starved. They are usually happy with their single mum status because they see it as a means of income from the government.

They are quick to ensure your marriage with them dont work so they start getting support money from you as well as getting paid by government.

imagine, it's a lie jor

which government will pay you for beiing a single parent?

1Sharon:
■ Pakistanis, Indians, afghan

Oh those! "Peace be unto you"?

ROFLMAO

alphaNomega:
imagine, it's a lie jor

which government will pay you for beiing a single parent?

You dey mind Nigerians!