₦airaland Forum

Blacklion3:
This is why men should have more than one girlfriend or wife.. Always let them know they are in a competition and can't manipulate you


Once you sense a girl start to misbehave or manipulate you, ignore her and start hunting other girls... Take pictures and post it, she will understand she can't manipulate you either with sex or emotions

I support this motion. If you narcissist me, I will relegate you to bench till your okay las las.

D

Saintinoo:
Now, I don't need to waste a minute to spot one, once I do, I avoid them like a plague.
Those guys are demonic.

Very heartless moronns, I tell you.

They expect everyone to concur with their Bullock and the moment they realize you can't be bent, the hatred and anger towards you could be a matter of life and death.

I toy with and turn them in their own narcissistic arena.

Aaaaarghmed:
I wound the Narcissist wey I ghost sotey,she gatz call me after months and said....so it is very easy for you to leave and walk away.This her statement sweet me die.I have always told her,I have gentle face but if I cross my mind.Am not going back.she think say na joke.i bullshit her.

Ghosting is the best way to handle such ladies..

steeltrust:
Lol
I can understand where you coming from bro
My wife used to be
But as a proper African man when I be
I put her in her place 😂🤣

She now has the idea I can do without her if Bleep up

So all those narcissistic behaviors she de hide am

And I warn am make she no carry that nonsense character near our pikin

If you realize on time and deal with it
You won’t have a problem

As am talking to you now sef I feel guilty cause na me con de do like narcissist for our marriage 😂🤣

And another thing apart from the narcissistic thing, I think she doesn’t love you enough
She de use you pass time

One key characteristics of a Narcissist is that they Love using People, be it in a relationship or work environment a Narcissist has just one goal, to use people meanwhile they tend to create that picture of them being the best person you can ever find on earth, even when you say you don't need help a narcissist will tell you they just want to help you but it's mainly so that you can feel attached, indebted and become a slave to them, being in a relationship with one can be dangerous as they would always need you to feel guilty, unfortunately if you ask what you've done wrong they really can't tell.
PS: The world shouldn't be a though place to live for anyone but over the years I've learnt that, if you're too Sweet they'll lick you Finish and if you want Peace they'll break you into Pieces; that being said there should always be a balance and Dialogue should always be a way to resolve difference hopefully the other party understands, because an Eye for an Eye might soon make everyone Blind.

Saintinoo:
I never knew that I will one day write about this, because, of all the advice I have been given, I taught it was love in the air.

Some months ago, I created a thread about how I can't get over my girlfriend and another thread where I confirmed that she was a narcissist. But now, I have not only confirmed that I dated a covert narcissist for four solid years, but I have come to learn a lot about narcissism and how to unmask them. Sadly, we have more narcissist both male and female going into serious relationships.
White you are thinking about the problems in your relationship, the fights everyday, the mental abuse etc, you might just be in a relationship with a narcissist and that is the worst thing that can happen to anybody.

HOW DO NARCISSISTS GET THEIR VICTIMS.

Be it male or female narcissist, they hunt for their victims same way. A narcissist targets an empath, they target people who have something they do not have, learn empathy from you just to use it against you.

They portray themselves as the best thing that can happen to you after egusi soup. Yes, my narc ex portrayed those traits, that wife material characteristics, godly and prayerful, dress decent and act same. Do not be deceived, they know that is what you want in a woman so they give it to you for the while.

They will always talk about forever with you, bring so many fairly tails and give you the soul mate feeling, this you will believe you have found a wife or a husband, then you start making marriage's preparation. They have successfully made you commit. Mine always use this word "forever is the goal". All these is to make you commit and when you have committed, they start the abuse stage.

The narcissist common aim, be it male or female is to get you trauma bonded to them. Trauma bond is a situation when you excuse abuse from someone, go back to your abuser because you are afraid to lose them. I cannot count the number of times I went back to apologize for doing nothing, that is trauma bond working for her.

The narcissist will never apologize for their wrong at the later part of the relationship, they will do wrong, and expect you to take it, when you try to speak up, they give you the silent treatment as a punishment. Yea,because they have groomed their victims so much through the various love bombing stages. I was given silent treatment every time, and yes,after going a week of waiting to see if she will apologize for her wrong, I end up saying sorry. I was groomed during the earlier days to not do without her.

The narcissist will love bomb you at the early stage of your relationship, this is not genuine love,it is a tactics to get you used to them and whenever you try to leave and think of the past memories, you will have no choice than to run back to them until they are ready to discard you. In my case,she calls every day to check on me, would spend over an hour with me on phone, gave me pet names and showed the world that she truly loved me. Those were all lies.

WHAT WENT WRONG BETWEEN I AND MY NARC EX.

For me, i thought she was the last bus stop, in fact I had been planning how our wedding even though I had limited funds at that time, I was ready to go against anybody just to wed my soulmate. But then, this problem keep coming. I felt someone was trying to control me, someone was doing wrong and do not apologize. We kept fighting almost every week, and yes, I kept apologising.

Early this year, I called her to discuss marriage plan, she disagreed with everything and went completely mute, I called the next day to resolve and ask for her opinion, she still went mute, the silent treatment increased. I vowed I am done and will not contact her again, went no contact. After two month, I saw her pic somewhere, and since I was trauma bonded to her and didn't heal completely, I went back begging her for over a week. That is was being trauma bond to a narcissist does, it completely makes you their slave.

During the cause of the discard from my narc ex, she knew that I have been trauma bonded to her and the sight of her pic will bring back memories, she used what is called " flying monkeys " to make me see her pics and believe that I will keep rushing back to beg her, because she enjoy all the abuse.

HOW DO YOU KNOW THAT YOU DATING A NARCISSIST; if you do any of those thing I did, you are dating a narcissist.

1. I beg for her attention when she gives silent treatment.
2. I felt like she is just the one.
3. I do not look at any other lady not even a friendly look because all my attention was around her.
4. Her eyes goes dark when she is angry.
5. She shouts and insults to any extent when angry.
6. When she wrongs me and I refuse to call and apologize for reacting, maybe for 5 days or a week, she rages in anger.
7. She belittles me when she is angry, this is a common trait with a narc, male or female.
8. From her story, during our love days, and from my findings her dad is a narc. Pls try and know your lover parent, narc is hereditary.


Did I talk about how I later confirm that my Darling angel was a terrible covert narcissist.

Early this year, I had a neighbor whose 2 years old daughter exhibited the same traits my ex exhibited, the anger, the manipulation, the gaslighing, everything.

Finally, narcissists are demonic, look for these red flags in your relationship and end the relationship the minute you confirm that you date is a narc, there is no changing them, I tried and got hurt. The narc know what he/she is doing.

Narcissism is hereditary and they are born that way, they keep getting worse by the day, so best is to avoid them.

Drops pen.

I have some few questions

1. Do they spot a guy and say “I want to trauma bond this guy”, “let me trauma bond this man”. Or it’s just an unintentional outcome of power play in a relationship ? Was it original or thought-out from the start?

2. I think I’m a victim. I prefer to grow in a relationship with gradual increase in affection, but she preferred I show it massively hot from the start, according to her, na beginning of relationship love suppose dey sweet pass, na beginning of marriage marriage dey sweet pass. Me i believe in wine getting better as it ages. In the first few months of the start, I was just basic in my love approach while she calls me 7 times in a day, comes to see me at break or any free lunchtime, video calls me at night, et cetera.

When I discovered how disrespectful she was to some of my friends and when she retorted to what my sister said about a particular girl this ex says looked like her (my sister), my sister said this girl I said looks like her is not fine. I informed my ex what my sister said about the girl she said looked like my sister, and my ex answered “who tell am say she fine”.

Immediately I lost respect for her, also when she said if we get married her mother in law, (my mon), can’t be coming to the kitchen anyhow. I think I quite agree but it just sounded off to me considering i preferred someone who is communally inclined in her living.

I started telling her she should just boycott all marriage plans that nobody knows God’s plans. Soon after that, her whole affection from me took a nose-dive down. Less calls, intimate chats, time, etc from her.

She also started to chat more with other guys, to her I’ve permitted her to entertain other guys since there’s no security this would lead to marriage.

Note I was watching her reaction to keeping the marriage open, if she’d still be committed (then I’ll re-initiate it), if she acts otherwise, I will know her true colour.

A year later she got talking too deeply with one senior colleague like that. I warned her they communicate too much, she won’t say anything, it got point that she started changing what she used to save the guy’s name on her phone so I will stop checking her. She started to lie about her whereabouts so she’ll have time video-calling the guy. They practically video call 4x in a day.

Eventually I broke off the relationship. She started dating the guy.

The guy showed her shege cos I was still assisting her financially (situationship), though I got sex in exchange. The guy didn’t financially take care of her. I was even buying her pad, etc. in that period I kept begging her to come back to me she would refuse and say it would seem like she is selfish.

Eventually her relationship with the guy hit the rocks one year later. But she did something that made me block her in the meantime, she slept with a single father for whatever reason, she informed me by herself. I was not in town. I got so furious I blocked her. By time I got back to town she had left that guy she left me for and started dating one tech guy who is really doing well financially and taking care of her.

She never begged me for forgiveness for sleeping out with single father cos she felt she had no sexual obligation to me since I wasn’t the boyfriend or husband? or dumping me for another man? She would even be posting love enticing thing about she and the guy she left me for on her status knowing well I would see it.

Earlier on this year around January I asked her if the guy who dumped her came around, would she accept again? She said yes if she still loves him then. This is a girl that didn’t want to consider returning to me same month she broke up. Maybe because she was the one who left, and this time she is the one who was dumped.

This tech guy she’s dating now is taking care of her and started her a sewing business so she won’t be dependent on guys. She’s doing much better.

But still chats me up from blue moon about most mundane things like “what is the colour of the sky?”

“How many pages is final year defence book?” Most irrational things. Don’t know if she wants to keep talking to me, but don’t want us to date?

I rarely post my romantic life on social media but the day I posted loving emoji on status she rushed and posted video of her man and she love cuddling/hugging.


PS: her father is late and her mother struggles a lot, owed several months salary as a primary school teacher in Benue state.

But when I had not cancelled the marriage plans: she was the most romantic woman.

Snow2six:
2days meks it 2wks and a day i no cal her again, e don shock her cos its unusual of me, na she now de cal my frnds thinkin my frnds go talk abt d quarel, she go cal dm bt no fit talk abt d quarel, nd na y she cal o,bt becos she feels 2 proud,she wont speak up..Me don X her lik ds..

Wtf did you just typed?

Starboytwo:
I support this motion. If you narcissist me, I will relegate you to bench till your okay las las.

Lol, that's a better way to deal with Narcissist but somehow you might end up becoming a Narcissist.

Haydens:
If I found out that I'm dating a narcissist, how I usually crush them is to MIRROR their character.

Very simple.

Well said. Tit for tat.
How I wish I can like this comment over and over again.

Being emotionally intelligent is the key.

this english don suffer for naija hand

All these because a girl broke your heart?

😂😂😂

ibnquasale:
That gal real do you bad thing ooo 😂😂😂

She do me shege banza.... Since march this year, I have been thanking God it has ended.

Saintinoo:
I never knew that I will one day write about this, because, of all the advice I have been given, I taught it was love in the air.

Some months ago, I created a thread about how I can't get over my girlfriend and another thread where I confirmed that she was a narcissist. But now, I have not only confirmed that I dated a covert narcissist for four solid years, but I have come to learn a lot about narcissism and how to unmask them. Sadly, we have more narcissist both male and female going into serious relationships.
White you are thinking about the problems in your relationship, the fights everyday, the mental abuse etc, you might just be in a relationship with a narcissist and that is the worst thing that can happen to anybody.

HOW DO NARCISSISTS GET THEIR VICTIMS.

Be it male or female narcissist, they hunt for their victims same way. A narcissist targets an empath, they target people who have something they do not have, learn empathy from you just to use it against you.

They portray themselves as the best thing that can happen to you after egusi soup. Yes, my narc ex portrayed those traits, that wife material characteristics, godly and prayerful, dress decent and act same. Do not be deceived, they know that is what you want in a woman so they give it to you for the while.

They will always talk about forever with you, bring so many fairly tails and give you the soul mate feeling, this you will believe you have found a wife or a husband, then you start making marriage's preparation. They have successfully made you commit. Mine always use this word "forever is the goal". All these is to make you commit and when you have committed, they start the abuse stage.

The narcissist common aim, be it male or female is to get you trauma bonded to them. Trauma bond is a situation when you excuse abuse from someone, go back to your abuser because you are afraid to lose them. I cannot count the number of times I went back to apologize for doing nothing, that is trauma bond working for her.

The narcissist will never apologize for their wrong at the later part of the relationship, they will do wrong, and expect you to take it, when you try to speak up, they give you the silent treatment as a punishment. Yea,because they have groomed their victims so much through the various love bombing stages. I was given silent treatment every time, and yes,after going a week of waiting to see if she will apologize for her wrong, I end up saying sorry. I was groomed during the earlier days to not do without her.

The narcissist will love bomb you at the early stage of your relationship, this is not genuine love,it is a tactics to get you used to them and whenever you try to leave and think of the past memories, you will have no choice than to run back to them until they are ready to discard you. In my case,she calls every day to check on me, would spend over an hour with me on phone, gave me pet names and showed the world that she truly loved me. Those were all lies.

WHAT WENT WRONG BETWEEN I AND MY NARC EX.

For me, i thought she was the last bus stop, in fact I had been planning how our wedding even though I had limited funds at that time, I was ready to go against anybody just to wed my soulmate. But then, this problem keep coming. I felt someone was trying to control me, someone was doing wrong and do not apologize. We kept fighting almost every week, and yes, I kept apologising.

Early this year, I called her to discuss marriage plan, she disagreed with everything and went completely mute, I called the next day to resolve and ask for her opinion, she still went mute, the silent treatment increased. I vowed I am done and will not contact her again, went no contact. After two month, I saw her pic somewhere, and since I was trauma bonded to her and didn't heal completely, I went back begging her for over a week. That is was being trauma bond to a narcissist does, it completely makes you their slave.

During the cause of the discard from my narc ex, she knew that I have been trauma bonded to her and the sight of her pic will bring back memories, she used what is called " flying monkeys " to make me see her pics and believe that I will keep rushing back to beg her, because she enjoy all the abuse.

HOW DO YOU KNOW THAT YOU DATING A NARCISSIST; if you do any of those thing I did, you are dating a narcissist.

1. I beg for her attention when she gives silent treatment.
2. I felt like she is just the one.
3. I do not look at any other lady not even a friendly look because all my attention was around her.
4. Her eyes goes dark when she is angry.
5. She shouts and insults to any extent when angry.
6. When she wrongs me and I refuse to call and apologize for reacting, maybe for 5 days or a week, she rages in anger.
7. She belittles me when she is angry, this is a common trait with a narc, male or female.
8. From her story, during our love days, and from my findings her dad is a narc. Pls try and know your lover parent, narc is hereditary.


Did I talk about how I later confirm that my Darling angel was a terrible covert narcissist.

Early this year, I had a neighbor whose 2 years old daughter exhibited the same traits my ex exhibited, the anger, the manipulation, the gaslighing, everything.

Finally, narcissists are demonic, look for these red flags in your relationship and end the relationship the minute you confirm that you date is a narc, there is no changing them, I tried and got hurt. The narc know what he/she is doing.

Narcissism is hereditary and they are born that way, they keep getting worse by the day, so best is to avoid them.

Drops pen.

Very true man. Its likely not hereditary, its learned from a parent, but can hardly ever be unlearnt. They gain energy from seeing others down.
They are unsettled when you are happy.
As back up They are super nice to people around you, so that people think you are the problem.

If you have narcissist go grey rock on them and dump them early on. If you married to one, look for a long distance job and don't look back.

One day all narcissist will face the wrath of the most high for the harm they have done to the innocent.

PonziHater.

Fountainofyouth:
Lol

See you, better learn now before you date a male narc.

They threaten you about decision you make, like a man telling his wife she would die if she goes back to school, forcing himself on her for sex even at the point of sickness, tell her her food is poison yet eats it, curse and call her a fool in the presence of many, that she can never succeed he's the best thing that happened to her, frustrate and make sure she can never be recognized, frustrate with everything and act yet so innocent outside.

The worst part he's always playing victim 🙆🏼🥺

Saintinoo:
I never knew that I will one day write about this, because, of all the advice I have been given, I taught it was love in the air.

Some months ago, I created a thread about how I can't get over my girlfriend and another thread where I confirmed that she was a narcissist. But now, I have not only confirmed that I dated a covert narcissist for four solid years, but I have come to learn a lot about narcissism and how to unmask them. Sadly, we have more narcissist both male and female going into serious relationships.
White you are thinking about the problems in your relationship, the fights everyday, the mental abuse etc, you might just be in a relationship with a narcissist and that is the worst thing that can happen to anybody.

HOW DO NARCISSISTS GET THEIR VICTIMS.

Be it male or female narcissist, they hunt for their victims same way. A narcissist targets an empath, they target people who have something they do not have, learn empathy from you just to use it against you.

They portray themselves as the best thing that can happen to you after egusi soup. Yes, my narc ex portrayed those traits, that wife material characteristics, godly and prayerful, dress decent and act same. Do not be deceived, they know that is what you want in a woman so they give it to you for the while.

They will always talk about forever with you, bring so many fairly tails and give you the soul mate feeling, this you will believe you have found a wife or a husband, then you start making marriage's preparation. They have successfully made you commit. Mine always use this word "forever is the goal". All these is to make you commit and when you have committed, they start the abuse stage.

The narcissist common aim, be it male or female is to get you trauma bonded to them. Trauma bond is a situation when you excuse abuse from someone, go back to your abuser because you are afraid to lose them. I cannot count the number of times I went back to apologize for doing nothing, that is trauma bond working for her.

The narcissist will never apologize for their wrong at the later part of the relationship, they will do wrong, and expect you to take it, when you try to speak up, they give you the silent treatment as a punishment. Yea,because they have groomed their victims so much through the various love bombing stages. I was given silent treatment every time, and yes,after going a week of waiting to see if she will apologize for her wrong, I end up saying sorry. I was groomed during the earlier days to not do without her.

The narcissist will love bomb you at the early stage of your relationship, this is not genuine love,it is a tactics to get you used to them and whenever you try to leave and think of the past memories, you will have no choice than to run back to them until they are ready to discard you. In my case,she calls every day to check on me, would spend over an hour with me on phone, gave me pet names and showed the world that she truly loved me. Those were all lies.

WHAT WENT WRONG BETWEEN I AND MY NARC EX.

For me, i thought she was the last bus stop, in fact I had been planning how our wedding even though I had limited funds at that time, I was ready to go against anybody just to wed my soulmate. But then, this problem keep coming. I felt someone was trying to control me, someone was doing wrong and do not apologize. We kept fighting almost every week, and yes, I kept apologising.

Early this year, I called her to discuss marriage plan, she disagreed with everything and went completely mute, I called the next day to resolve and ask for her opinion, she still went mute, the silent treatment increased. I vowed I am done and will not contact her again, went no contact. After two month, I saw her pic somewhere, and since I was trauma bonded to her and didn't heal completely, I went back begging her for over a week. That is was being trauma bond to a narcissist does, it completely makes you their slave.

During the cause of the discard from my narc ex, she knew that I have been trauma bonded to her and the sight of her pic will bring back memories, she used what is called " flying monkeys " to make me see her pics and believe that I will keep rushing back to beg her, because she enjoy all the abuse.

HOW DO YOU KNOW THAT YOU DATING A NARCISSIST; if you do any of those thing I did, you are dating a narcissist.

1. I beg for her attention when she gives silent treatment.
2. I felt like she is just the one.
3. I do not look at any other lady not even a friendly look because all my attention was around her.
4. Her eyes goes dark when she is angry.
5. She shouts and insults to any extent when angry.
6. When she wrongs me and I refuse to call and apologize for reacting, maybe for 5 days or a week, she rages in anger.
7. She belittles me when she is angry, this is a common trait with a narc, male or female.
8. From her story, during our love days, and from my findings her dad is a narc. Pls try and know your lover parent, narc is hereditary.


Did I talk about how I later confirm that my Darling angel was a terrible covert narcissist.

Early this year, I had a neighbor whose 2 years old daughter exhibited the same traits my ex exhibited, the anger, the manipulation, the gaslighing, everything.

Finally, narcissists are demonic, look for these red flags in your relationship and end the relationship the minute you confirm that you date is a narc, there is no changing them, I tried and got hurt. The narc know what he/she is doing.

Narcissism is hereditary and they are born that way, they keep getting worse by the day, so best is to avoid them.

Drops pen.

It's so sad to read the comments about this wrote up. Most people think this narcissism exist between male and female only. It happens even between friends. When someone think he is doing you a favour by being your friend. When you are there for the person but when it's your turn they act up.

Op thank you
I have to read this write up 5 times so that the msg can sink in me..

R

The ultimate goal of every narcissist is to enslave you . They always want to control, manipulate, influence, belittle, abuse and use you like a common tool to achieve their objectives.

They are your best friend today and worst enemy tomorrow. They get you into their trap by rendering you extra ordinary favours to make you think they're the best person you've ever encounter.

They derive fun doing this and if you cannot keep up or withstand their negative energy, you can go insane or become depressed.

If you love peace in your life, stay away from narcissist because they can never change.

LandMann:
[sup][/sup]

You're just an unfortunate simp who shouldn't have gone into a relationship.

You tried very hard to paint your ex as a demon using a word you just learnt and probably from seeing other unfortunate souls doing same after getting destroyed in a relationship.

Let me tell you, relationship, like every other event in life, is a game. If you go into a relationship as a man, your goal should be to win the game and get a mate who will follow your lead.

If you start doing mumu stuff in the name of love then you're the fool setting yourself up to fail. You're just a weakling, and your partner will spot it and detest you. If you can't hold your own and knowing that you're right then you are an unfortunate simp.

If ManCity crushes Chelsea in a match, will Chelsea start crying that ManCity is a narcissist?

You're ascribing blame to the woman and I want you to know that doing so will not take the responsibility away from you if that's your goal. You failed miserably in managing your relationship.

Go and learn how to be a principled, resourceful and responsible man. Go and make money before you think of your next relationship so that you don't end up writing another horseshit to justify your failure

Lol, I knew the Article was going to lead to this.
Well here's the reality, Money is good as it does stop nonsense but many at times it doesn't really bring about Joy, mind you Joy is different from Happiness; let's put the word Narcissist aside, if you must have to put people in their place by the virtue of what you can afford then you'll always have to do that, if you must always have to give someone a gift when they're wrong and they've refused to admit their wrongs and apologize you'll always have to do that.
There's no two ways to it, Narcissism isn't just a word, it's a lot on it's own and it's not just a situation that can happen between Lovers it does happen in Work environments, let's be frank for a minute everyone can't be Rich at the same time and everyone can't be the boss at the same time, there's always going to be the need for someone to be in a position where they have a Boss and in such situations Narcissistic behaviors can play out, now let's talk about relationships a Man shouldn't always lord it over his wife but the sad part is if you truly love someone who has narcissistic traits you'll regret being in love, they'll do everything possible to make sure they keep using you, I really don't know much about love but it shouldn't be a case where one person is a slave to the other, a woman should not be a slave to her husband and a man should also not become a slave to his wife, and long story short anyone who can't apologize when wrong shouldn't be in any relationship.
PS: Buying someone a gift when you're wrong with saying you're sorry in a sincere manner isn't an apology, the problem remains and would pop up at a later date.

pocohantas:
Welcome to the redpill.

My post has nothing to do with redpill or bashing women, this is a two way something. Narc are either male or female.

Who says there are no good women out their, off course I will meet good women.

Dexy4yah:
I don't wish even my worst enemy to date a narcissist.

They will always want to control you and they keep milking you emotionally.

They are the worst people to date or marry

Someone who has never dated one will not agree with you. I will give thanksgiving secretly soon. I almost married her bro.

scoops:
One key characteristics of a Narcissist is that they Love using People, be it in a relationship or work environment a Narcissist has just one goal, to use people meanwhile they tend to create that picture of them being the best person you can ever find on earth, even when you say you don't need help a narcissist will tell you they just want to help you but it's mainly so that you can feel attached, indebted and become a slave to them, being in a relationship with one can be dangerous as they would always need you to feel guilty, unfortunately if you ask what you've done wrong they really can't tell.
PS: The world shouldn't be a though place to live for anyone but over the years I've learnt that, if you're too Sweet they'll lick you Finish and if you want Peace they'll break you into Pieces; that being said there should always be a balance and Dialogue should always be a way to resolve difference hopefully the other party understands, because an Eye for an Eye might soon make everyone Blind.

in all in all
Once you’re emotionally vulnerable you become their pawn

That why I said the earlier you find the out the better for you
No matter how you see it
Along the line they must show that narcissistic threat except you let your emotional guard down and turn a blind eye to it

My wife is a narcissist but I always put her in her places once she crosses the line

I’m loving and nice but my emotions are shared 20 for her and 80 for me

So far so good
It has worked for me due to the way I handle the whole thing and the worst part my wife is black American 😂🤣
But I go still get her down if she Bleep up 😂🤣
An African man don’t take or do shit

ednut1:
Many of the people calling people narcissist are the real narcissists. The other person didn’t allow them get their usual way( manipulation, gaslighting etc) . They then turn around to label the person narcissist

I am just looking at one ediot up there.

Dude kept coming onto me, repeating "You're nothing. You're not a real woman. You're a beech. I would never date your kind. I will never invest on you or spend my money on you. Your life is meaningless. You're a Nairaland roach," and all sorts to me over a comment I made on a thread.


Person wey I nor know for my life before. E muzz me, I swear. Like who is the person this dude is trying to convince of shìt?

Infact, see:
https://www.nairaland.com/7908473/being-failure-not-bad-afterall/1#127125507

If you want to go through the thread. He is here too claiming someone was narcissistic to him, lmaooo.

Ebubu:
I have some few questions

1. Do they spot a guy and say “I want to trauma bond this guy”, “let me trauma bond this man”. Or it’s just an unintentional outcome of power play in a relationship ? Was it original or thought-out from the start?

2. I think I’m a victim. I prefer to grow in a relationship with gradual increase in affection, but she preferred I show it massively hot from the start, according to her, na beginning of relationship love suppose dey sweet pass, na beginning of marriage marriage dey sweet pass. Me i believe in wine getting better as it ages. In the first few months of the start, I was just basic in my love approach while she calls me 7 times in a day, comes to see me at break or any free lunchtime, video calls me at night, et cetera.

When I discovered how disrespectful she was to some of my friends and when she retorted to what my sister said about a particular girl this ex says looked like her (my sister), my sister said this girl I said looks like her is not fine. I informed my ex what my sister said about the girl she said looked like my sister, and my ex answered “who tell am say she fine”.

Immediately I lost respect for her, also when she said if we get married her mother in law, (my mon), can’t be coming to the kitchen anyhow. I think I quite agree but it just sounded off to me considering i preferred someone who is communally inclined in her living.

I started telling her she should just boycott all marriage plans that nobody knows God’s plans. Soon after that, her whole affection from me took a nose-dive down. Less calls, intimate chats, time, etc from her.

She also started to chat more with other guys, to her I’ve permitted her to entertain other guys since there’s no security this would lead to marriage.

Note I was watching her reaction to keeping the marriage open, if she’d still be committed (then I’ll re-initiate it), if she acts otherwise, I will know her true colour.

A year later she got talking too deeply with one senior colleague like that. I warned her they communicate too much, she won’t say anything, it got point that she started changing what she used to save the guy’s name on her phone so I will stop checking her. She started to lie about her whereabouts so she’ll have time video-calling the guy. They practically video call 4x in a day.

Eventually I broke off the relationship. She started dating the guy.

The guy showed her shege cos I was still assisting her financially (situationship), though I got sex in exchange. The guy didn’t financially take care of her. I was even buying her pad, etc. in that period I kept begging her to come back to me she would refuse and say it would seem like she is selfish.

Eventually her relationship with the guy hit the rocks one year later. But she did something that made me block her in the meantime, she slept with a single father for whatever reason, she informed me by herself. I was not in town. I got so furious I blocked her. By time I got back to town she had left that guy she left me for and started dating one tech guy who is really doing well financially and taking care of her.

She never begged me for forgiveness for sleeping out with single father cos she felt she had no sexual obligation to me since I wasn’t the boyfriend or husband? or dumping me for another man? She would even be posting love enticing thing about she and the guy she left me for on her status knowing well I would see it.

Earlier on this year around January I asked her if the guy who dumped her came around, would she accept again? She said yes if she still loves him then. This is a girl that didn’t want to consider returning to me same month she broke up. Maybe because she was the one who left, and this time she is the one who was dumped.

This tech guy she’s dating now is taking care of her and started her a sewing business so she won’t be dependent on guys. She’s doing much better.

But still chats me up from blue moon about most mundane things like “what is the colour of the sky?”

“How many pages is final year defence book?” Most irrational things. Don’t know if she wants to keep talking to me, but don’t want us to date?

I rarely post my romantic life on social media but the day I posted loving emoji on status she rushed and posted video of her man and she love cuddling/hugging.


PS: her father is late and her mother struggles a lot, owed several months salary as a primary school teacher in Benue state.

But when I had not cancelled the marriage plans: she was the most romantic woman.

Uncle, please forget that lady.
She'll keep wasting your precious time, there's always going to be someone who would love and respect you, if she doesn't respect you and she can't apologize when she's wrong then I'm sorry it's not something you should stay in or expect a positive outcome from; I understand you might have truly loved her at some point but the sad truth is she's not worth your precious attention, find someone new who would truly love you regardless of what ever might be and at all times, in the end your happiness too should be a priority, if they're happy and you're not, what is the point?
Mind you, some people don't love you; they ONLY love what you can do for them.

Saintinoo:
I never knew that I will one day write about this, because, of all the advice I have been given, I taught it was love in the air.

Some months ago, I created a thread about how I can't get over my girlfriend and another thread where I confirmed that she was a narcissist. But now, I have not only confirmed that I dated a covert narcissist for four solid years, but I have come to learn a lot about narcissism and how to unmask them. Sadly, we have more narcissist both male and female going into serious relationships.
White you are thinking about the problems in your relationship, the fights everyday, the mental abuse etc, you might just be in a relationship with a narcissist and that is the worst thing that can happen to anybody.

HOW DO NARCISSISTS GET THEIR VICTIMS.

Be it male or female narcissist, they hunt for their victims same way. A narcissist targets an empath, they target people who have something they do not have, learn empathy from you just to use it against you.

They portray themselves as the best thing that can happen to you after egusi soup. Yes, my narc ex portrayed those traits, that wife material characteristics, godly and prayerful, dress decent and act same. Do not be deceived, they know that is what you want in a woman so they give it to you for the while.

They will always talk about forever with you, bring so many fairly tails and give you the soul mate feeling, this you will believe you have found a wife or a husband, then you start making marriage's preparation. They have successfully made you commit. Mine always use this word "forever is the goal". All these is to make you commit and when you have committed, they start the abuse stage.

The narcissist common aim, be it male or female is to get you trauma bonded to them. Trauma bond is a situation when you excuse abuse from someone, go back to your abuser because you are afraid to lose them. I cannot count the number of times I went back to apologize for doing nothing, that is trauma bond working for her.

The narcissist will never apologize for their wrong at the later part of the relationship, they will do wrong, and expect you to take it, when you try to speak up, they give you the silent treatment as a punishment. Yea,because they have groomed their victims so much through the various love bombing stages. I was given silent treatment every time, and yes,after going a week of waiting to see if she will apologize for her wrong, I end up saying sorry. I was groomed during the earlier days to not do without her.

The narcissist will love bomb you at the early stage of your relationship, this is not genuine love,it is a tactics to get you used to them and whenever you try to leave and think of the past memories, you will have no choice than to run back to them until they are ready to discard you. In my case,she calls every day to check on me, would spend over an hour with me on phone, gave me pet names and showed the world that she truly loved me. Those were all lies.

WHAT WENT WRONG BETWEEN I AND MY NARC EX.

For me, i thought she was the last bus stop, in fact I had been planning how our wedding even though I had limited funds at that time, I was ready to go against anybody just to wed my soulmate. But then, this problem keep coming. I felt someone was trying to control me, someone was doing wrong and do not apologize. We kept fighting almost every week, and yes, I kept apologising.

Early this year, I called her to discuss marriage plan, she disagreed with everything and went completely mute, I called the next day to resolve and ask for her opinion, she still went mute, the silent treatment increased. I vowed I am done and will not contact her again, went no contact. After two month, I saw her pic somewhere, and since I was trauma bonded to her and didn't heal completely, I went back begging her for over a week. That is was being trauma bond to a narcissist does, it completely makes you their slave.

During the cause of the discard from my narc ex, she knew that I have been trauma bonded to her and the sight of her pic will bring back memories, she used what is called " flying monkeys " to make me see her pics and believe that I will keep rushing back to beg her, because she enjoy all the abuse.

HOW DO YOU KNOW THAT YOU DATING A NARCISSIST; if you do any of those thing I did, you are dating a narcissist.

1. I beg for her attention when she gives silent treatment.
2. I felt like she is just the one.
3. I do not look at any other lady not even a friendly look because all my attention was around her.
4. Her eyes goes dark when she is angry.
5. She shouts and insults to any extent when angry.
6. When she wrongs me and I refuse to call and apologize for reacting, maybe for 5 days or a week, she rages in anger.
7. She belittles me when she is angry, this is a common trait with a narc, male or female.
8. From her story, during our love days, and from my findings her dad is a narc. Pls try and know your lover parent, narc is hereditary.


Did I talk about how I later confirm that my Darling angel was a terrible covert narcissist.

Early this year, I had a neighbor whose 2 years old daughter exhibited the same traits my ex exhibited, the anger, the manipulation, the gaslighing, everything.

Finally, narcissists are demonic, look for these red flags in your relationship and end the relationship the minute you confirm that you date is a narc, there is no changing them, I tried and got hurt. The narc know what he/she is doing.

Narcissism is hereditary and they are born that way, they keep getting worse by the day, so best is to avoid them.

Drops pen.

Nothing like Narcissists around me. You're just being plain foolish, you sure say na your mama born you? When some men are controlling like 3 women at a go, you dey talk trauma bond. You're just one weak thing that needs to work on himself.

See Wetin a grown man will be yapping about … chia … if you like don’t go and make money .. be looking for whose daughter you want to use for experiment.

SenecaTheYonger:
You should not condone silent treatment. You should also never allow a girl insult you. If a girl insults you, use a very painful secret of hers to insult her back. She will submit to you after crying.

After your GF is done wih the silent treatment, tell her that the next time she does that, you will take it as a sign the relationship is over and that she should just move on from her silence. You too also be prepared for this and mean it.

Never you allow a girl have control in a relationship. Always have the upperhand.

we're talking deep level human psychology here. Not some redpill stuff. Read the post again, this time carefully.

finegirl233:
The traits of a nerc you listed up there makes me laugh. There is a tendency that more than 80% of humans have one or more of such characteristics, so advicing others on a public forum to avoid anyone with your list is absurd to me.

Kindly move on with your life if you are happy the relationship ended, no need for long stories.



Peace

Exactly what a narc will say.

I can easily understand, there is so much you didn't say.
They act like devil.
They see things from there narrow mind, and assume everyone should see it that way.
As a psychologist I can tell you so much about them.
They care about there desire.
It's about them.
They blame you for everything,
Use your words against you, by manipulating it to there satisfaction.
They are lost in their ego.
They look so nice and caring.
They can be so emotional.
Let me stop here.

Saintinoo:
I never knew that I will one day write about this, because, of all the advice I have been given, I taught it was love in the air.

Some months ago, I created a thread about how I can't get over my girlfriend and another thread where I confirmed that she was a narcissist. But now, I have not only confirmed that I dated a covert narcissist for four solid years, but I have come to learn a lot about narcissism and how to unmask them. Sadly, we have more narcissist both male and female going into serious relationships.
White you are thinking about the problems in your relationship, the fights everyday, the mental abuse etc, you might just be in a relationship with a narcissist and that is the worst thing that can happen to anybody.

HOW DO NARCISSISTS GET THEIR VICTIMS.

Be it male or female narcissist, they hunt for their victims same way. A narcissist targets an empath, they target people who have something they do not have, learn empathy from you just to use it against you.

They portray themselves as the best thing that can happen to you after egusi soup. Yes, my narc ex portrayed those traits, that wife material characteristics, godly and prayerful, dress decent and act same. Do not be deceived, they know that is what you want in a woman so they give it to you for the while.

They will always talk about forever with you, bring so many fairly tails and give you the soul mate feeling, this you will believe you have found a wife or a husband, then you start making marriage's preparation. They have successfully made you commit. Mine always use this word "forever is the goal". All these is to make you commit and when you have committed, they start the abuse stage.

The narcissist common aim, be it male or female is to get you trauma bonded to them. Trauma bond is a situation when you excuse abuse from someone, go back to your abuser because you are afraid to lose them. I cannot count the number of times I went back to apologize for doing nothing, that is trauma bond working for her.

The narcissist will never apologize for their wrong at the later part of the relationship, they will do wrong, and expect you to take it, when you try to speak up, they give you the silent treatment as a punishment. Yea,because they have groomed their victims so much through the various love bombing stages. I was given silent treatment every time, and yes,after going a week of waiting to see if she will apologize for her wrong, I end up saying sorry. I was groomed during the earlier days to not do without her.

The narcissist will love bomb you at the early stage of your relationship, this is not genuine love,it is a tactics to get you used to them and whenever you try to leave and think of the past memories, you will have no choice than to run back to them until they are ready to discard you. In my case,she calls every day to check on me, would spend over an hour with me on phone, gave me pet names and showed the world that she truly loved me. Those were all lies.

WHAT WENT WRONG BETWEEN I AND MY NARC EX.

For me, i thought she was the last bus stop, in fact I had been planning how our wedding even though I had limited funds at that time, I was ready to go against anybody just to wed my soulmate. But then, this problem keep coming. I felt someone was trying to control me, someone was doing wrong and do not apologize. We kept fighting almost every week, and yes, I kept apologising.

Early this year, I called her to discuss marriage plan, she disagreed with everything and went completely mute, I called the next day to resolve and ask for her opinion, she still went mute, the silent treatment increased. I vowed I am done and will not contact her again, went no contact. After two month, I saw her pic somewhere, and since I was trauma bonded to her and didn't heal completely, I went back begging her for over a week. That is was being trauma bond to a narcissist does, it completely makes you their slave.

During the cause of the discard from my narc ex, she knew that I have been trauma bonded to her and the sight of her pic will bring back memories, she used what is called " flying monkeys " to make me see her pics and believe that I will keep rushing back to beg her, because she enjoy all the abuse.

HOW DO YOU KNOW THAT YOU DATING A NARCISSIST; if you do any of those thing I did, you are dating a narcissist.

1. I beg for her attention when she gives silent treatment.
2. I felt like she is just the one.
3. I do not look at any other lady not even a friendly look because all my attention was around her.
4. Her eyes goes dark when she is angry.
5. She shouts and insults to any extent when angry.
6. When she wrongs me and I refuse to call and apologize for reacting, maybe for 5 days or a week, she rages in anger.
7. She belittles me when she is angry, this is a common trait with a narc, male or female.
8. From her story, during our love days, and from my findings her dad is a narc. Pls try and know your lover parent, narc is hereditary.


Did I talk about how I later confirm that my Darling angel was a terrible covert narcissist.

Early this year, I had a neighbor whose 2 years old daughter exhibited the same traits my ex exhibited, the anger, the manipulation, the gaslighing, everything.

Finally, narcissists are demonic, look for these red flags in your relationship and end the relationship the minute you confirm that you date is a narc, there is no changing them, I tried and got hurt. The narc know what he/she is doing.

Narcissism is hereditary and they are born that way, they keep getting worse by the day, so best is to avoid them.

Drops pen.

Khetech:
Beyond the girl been a narcissist, u my nigga is also a simp, u allow ur emotions to control u,and u will keep getting this same energy with everyone if u allow ur emotions to control u.

I Bleep up big time, but then, what do you expect from a guy who don see better wife.

The only thing I see here is that you were a SIMP& all female (narcissist or not) will use you like toilet paper.
Stop simping for women & you will spot a user from a mile away.
Wetin be empath sef?! Rubbish and ingredient!

steeltrust:
Lol
I can understand where you coming from bro
My wife used to be
But as a proper African man when I be
I put her in her place 😂🤣

She now has the idea I can do without her if Bleep up

So all those narcissistic behaviors she de hide am

And I warn am make she no carry that nonsense character near our pikin

If you realize on time and deal with it
You won’t have a problem

As am talking to you now sef I feel guilty cause na me con de do like narcissist for our marriage 😂🤣

And another thing apart from the narcissistic thing, I think she doesn’t love you enough
She de use you pass time

I doubt if your wife is a narc, narcissism is not taught, they are born with it. And if she is a narc, the only way to change her is through therapy.