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Avoid A Narcissist At All Cost, My Experience. A Must Read. - Romance - Nairaland

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Avoid A Narcissist At All Cost, My Experience. A Must Read. by Saintinoo(m): 1:02pm On Dec 07, 2023
I never knew that I will one day write about this, because, of all the advice I have been given, I taught it was love in the air.

Some months ago, I created a thread about how I can't get over my girlfriend and another thread where I confirmed that she was a narcissist. But now, I have not only confirmed that I dated a covert narcissist for four solid years, but I have come to learn a lot about narcissism and how to unmask them. Sadly, we have more narcissist both male and female going into serious relationships.
White you are thinking about the problems in your relationship, the fights everyday, the mental abuse etc, you might just be in a relationship with a narcissist and that is the worst thing that can happen to anybody.

HOW DO NARCISSISTS GET THEIR VICTIMS.

Be it male or female narcissist, they hunt for their victims same way. A narcissist targets an empath, they target people who have something they do not have, learn empathy from you just to use it against you.

They portray themselves as the best thing that can happen to you after egusi soup. Yes, my narc ex portrayed those traits, that wife material characteristics, godly and prayerful, dress decent and act same. Do not be deceived, they know that is what you want in a woman so they give it to you for the while.

They will always talk about forever with you, bring so many fairly tails and give you the soul mate feeling, this you will believe you have found a wife or a husband, then you start making marriage's preparation. They have successfully made you commit. Mine always use this word "forever is the goal". All these is to make you commit and when you have committed, they start the abuse stage.

The narcissist common aim, be it male or female is to get you trauma bonded to them. Trauma bond is a situation when you excuse abuse from someone, go back to your abuser because you are afraid to lose them. I cannot count the number of times I went back to apologize for doing nothing, that is trauma bond working for her.

The narcissist will never apologize for their wrong at the later part of the relationship, they will do wrong, and expect you to take it, when you try to speak up, they give you the silent treatment as a punishment. Yea,because they have groomed their victims so much through the various love bombing stages. I was given silent treatment every time, and yes,after going a week of waiting to see if she will apologize for her wrong, I end up saying sorry. I was groomed during the earlier days to not do without her.

The narcissist will love bomb you at the early stage of your relationship, this is not genuine love,it is a tactics to get you used to them and whenever you try to leave and think of the past memories, you will have no choice than to run back to them until they are ready to discard you. In my case,she calls every day to check on me, would spend over an hour with me on phone, gave me pet names and showed the world that she truly loved me. Those were all lies.

WHAT WENT WRONG BETWEEN I AND MY NARC EX.

For me, i thought she was the last bus stop, in fact I had been planning how our wedding even though I had limited funds at that time, I was ready to go against anybody just to wed my soulmate. But then, this problem keep coming. I felt someone was trying to control me, someone was doing wrong and do not apologize. We kept fighting almost every week, and yes, I kept apologising.

Early this year, I called her to discuss marriage plan, she disagreed with everything and went completely mute, I called the next day to resolve and ask for her opinion, she still went mute, the silent treatment increased. I vowed I am done and will not contact her again, went no contact. After two month, I saw her pic somewhere, and since I was trauma bonded to her and didn't heal completely, I went back begging her for over a week. That is was being trauma bond to a narcissist does, it completely makes you their slave.

During the cause of the discard from my narc ex, she knew that I have been trauma bonded to her and the sight of her pic will bring back memories, she used what is called " flying monkeys " to make me see her pics and believe that I will keep rushing back to beg her, because she enjoy all the abuse.

HOW DO YOU KNOW THAT YOU DATING A NARCISSIST; if you do any of those thing I did, you are dating a narcissist.

1. I beg for her attention when she gives silent treatment.
2. I felt like she is just the one.
3. I do not look at any other lady not even a friendly look because all my attention was around her.
4. Her eyes goes dark when she is angry.
5. She shouts and insults to any extent when angry.
6. When she wrongs me and I refuse to call and apologize for reacting, maybe for 5 days or a week, she rages in anger.
7. She belittles me when she is angry, this is a common trait with a narc, male or female.
8. From her story, during our love days, and from my findings her dad is a narc. Pls try and know your lover parent, narc is hereditary.


Did I talk about how I later confirm that my Darling angel was a terrible covert narcissist.

Early this year, I had a neighbor whose 2 years old daughter exhibited the same traits my ex exhibited, the anger, the manipulation, the gaslighing, everything.

Finally, narcissists are demonic, look for these red flags in your relationship and end the relationship the minute you confirm that you date is a narc, there is no changing them, I tried and got hurt. The narc know what he/she is doing.

Narcissism is hereditary and they are born that way, they keep getting worse by the day, so best is to avoid them.

Drops pen.

123 Likes 18 Shares

Re: Avoid A Narcissist At All Cost, My Experience. A Must Read. by Artiiclebeast: 1:20pm On Dec 07, 2023
Kpele.

I deal with narcissists for fun and it has always worked.

They hate it when they get found out and always put in their place.

122 Likes 11 Shares

Re: Avoid A Narcissist At All Cost, My Experience. A Must Read. by Saintinoo(m): 1:25pm On Dec 07, 2023
Artiiclebeast:
Kpele.

I deal with narcissists for fun and it has always worked.

They hate it when they get found out and always put in their place.


Now, I don't need to waste a minute to spot one, once I do, I avoid them like a plague.
Those guys are demonic.

51 Likes 6 Shares

Re: Avoid A Narcissist At All Cost, My Experience. A Must Read. by SenecaTheYonger: 1:45pm On Dec 07, 2023
You should not condone silent treatment. You should also never allow a girl insult you. If a girl insults you, use a very painful secret of hers to insult her back. She will submit to you after crying.

After your GF is done wih the silent treatment, tell her that the next time she does that, you will take it as a sign the relationship is over and that she should just move on from her silence. You too also be prepared for this and mean it.

Never you allow a girl have control in a relationship. Always have the upperhand.

134 Likes 12 Shares

Re: Avoid A Narcissist At All Cost, My Experience. A Must Read. by Saintinoo(m): 1:54pm On Dec 07, 2023
SenecaTheYonger:
You should not condone silent treatment. You should also never allow a girl insult you. If a girl insults you, use a very painful secret of hers to insult her back. She will submit to you after crying.

After your GF is done wih the silent treatment, tell her that the next time she does that, you will take it as a sign the relationship is over and that she should just move on from her silence. You too also be prepared for this and mean it.

Never you allow a girl have control in a relationship. Always have the upperhand.

Did you read the post completely? Through, this is in the past, just wanted to create awareness so others don't fall victim.

BTW, dealing with a narc is never easy. Many are in a relationship with them but they don't know.

25 Likes 1 Share

Re: Avoid A Narcissist At All Cost, My Experience. A Must Read. by finegirl233: 1:56pm On Dec 07, 2023
All this epistle because of breakup in this century?
Wahala

47 Likes 3 Shares

Re: Avoid A Narcissist At All Cost, My Experience. A Must Read. by SenecaTheYonger: 2:01pm On Dec 07, 2023
Saintinoo:


Did you read the post completely? Through, this is in the past, just wanted to create awareness so others don't fall victim.

BTW, dealing with a narc is never easy. Many are in a relationship with them but they don't know.

I did. I'm just telling others in silimar situation.

And also, we all have a bit of narcissism in us, but some have it in extreme capacity.

25 Likes 1 Share

Re: Avoid A Narcissist At All Cost, My Experience. A Must Read. by Blacklion3: 2:12pm On Dec 07, 2023
This is why men should have more than one girlfriend or wife.. Always let them know they are in a competition and can't manipulate you


Once you sense a girl start to misbehave or manipulate you, ignore her and start hunting other girls... Take pictures and post it, she will understand she can't manipulate you either with sex or emotions

67 Likes 6 Shares

Re: Avoid A Narcissist At All Cost, My Experience. A Must Read. by Nicoddemus(m): 2:12pm On Dec 07, 2023
angry

1 Like

Re: Avoid A Narcissist At All Cost, My Experience. A Must Read. by Saintinoo(m): 2:13pm On Dec 07, 2023
finegirl233:
All this epistle because of breakup in this century?

Wahala

Who is talking about breakup? When that relationship ended, I was the happiest person on earth. Just telling people my experience, so they don't also fall victim.

31 Likes 3 Shares

Re: Avoid A Narcissist At All Cost, My Experience. A Must Read. by ATEAMS: 2:14pm On Dec 07, 2023
Indeed

1 Like

Re: Avoid A Narcissist At All Cost, My Experience. A Must Read. by Haydens: 2:14pm On Dec 07, 2023
If I found out that I'm dating a narcissist, how I usually crush them is to MIRROR their character.

Very simple.

38 Likes 4 Shares

Re: Avoid A Narcissist At All Cost, My Experience. A Must Read. by socialmediaman: 2:14pm On Dec 07, 2023

1 Like

Re: Avoid A Narcissist At All Cost, My Experience. A Must Read. by obojememe: 2:15pm On Dec 07, 2023
menh…i can’t read al what u wrote

1 Like

Re: Avoid A Narcissist At All Cost, My Experience. A Must Read. by Aaaaarghmed(m): 2:16pm On Dec 07, 2023
Thank God,you don learn.I have dealt with Nacirssist by walking away and ghosting.As a modern man,dont allow anyone take you for granted.There should be a boundary.never apologize when you are not wrong.Never in this life.If not,you will keep apologizing till you die grin

51 Likes 4 Shares

Re: Avoid A Narcissist At All Cost, My Experience. A Must Read. by Offpointng: 2:16pm On Dec 07, 2023
had one and was her victim but wasn't her victim for too long, I later grew not to give her the breathing space, so we fell outta each other without break up till this day

7 Likes 1 Share

Re: Avoid A Narcissist At All Cost, My Experience. A Must Read. by AntiChristian: 2:17pm On Dec 07, 2023
Anti+Christian: Who is a narcissist?

Aria: A narcissist is someone who exhibits narcissistic personality traits or has narcissistic personality disorder (NPD). It is a mental disorder characterized by an excessive sense of self-importance, a constant need for admiration, fragile self-esteem, and a lack of empathy for others.

Narcissists often have an exaggerated sense of their own abilities and achievements and may exploit or manipulate others to fulfill their own needs. They tend to prioritize their own desires and disregard the needs and feelings of those around them. Narcissism can have a significant impact on relationships and interpersonal interactions.

Anti+christian: May Allah separate us from Shaytaan among men and Jinns!

6 Likes 1 Share

Re: Avoid A Narcissist At All Cost, My Experience. A Must Read. by ibnquasale(m): 2:17pm On Dec 07, 2023
That gal real do you bad thing ooo 😂😂😂

12 Likes

Re: Avoid A Narcissist At All Cost, My Experience. A Must Read. by Fountainofyouth(f): 2:18pm On Dec 07, 2023
Lol

2 Likes

Re: Avoid A Narcissist At All Cost, My Experience. A Must Read. by Olayinka8793(m): 2:19pm On Dec 07, 2023
Really
Re: Avoid A Narcissist At All Cost, My Experience. A Must Read. by Kaxmytex(m): 2:19pm On Dec 07, 2023
Re: Avoid A Narcissist At All Cost, My Experience. A Must Read. by bigdammyj: 2:21pm On Dec 07, 2023
Okay.
Re: Avoid A Narcissist At All Cost, My Experience. A Must Read. by pocohantas(f): 2:21pm On Dec 07, 2023
Welcome to the redpill. grin

10 Likes 1 Share

Re: Avoid A Narcissist At All Cost, My Experience. A Must Read. by OfficialP: 2:22pm On Dec 07, 2023
Saintinoo:
I never knew that I will one day write about this, because, of all the advice I have been given, I taught it was love in the air.

Some months ago, I created a thread about how I can't get over my girlfriend and another thread where I confirmed that she was a narcissist. But now, I have not only confirmed that I dated a covert narcissist for four solid years, but I have come to learn a lot about narcissism and how to unmask them. Sadly, we have more narcissist both male and female going into serious relationships.
White you are thinking about the problems in your relationship, the fights everyday, the mental abuse etc, you might just be in a relationship with a narcissist and that is the worst thing that can happen to anybody.

HOW DO NARCISSISTS GET THEIR VICTIMS.

Be it male or female narcissist, they hunt for their victims same way. A narcissist targets an empath, they target people who have something they do not have, learn empathy from you just to use it against you.

They portray themselves as the best thing that can happen to you after egusi soup. Yes, my narc ex portrayed those traits, that wife material characteristics, godly and prayerful, dress decent and act same. Do not be deceived, they know that is what you want in a woman so they give it to you for the while.

They will always talk about forever with you, bring so many fairly tails and give you the soul mate feeling, this you will believe you have found a wife or a husband, then you start making marriage's preparation. They have successfully made you commit. Mine always use this word "forever is the goal". All these is to make you commit and when you have committed, they start the abuse stage.

The narcissist common aim, be it male or female is to get you trauma bonded to them. Trauma bond is a situation when you excuse abuse from someone, go back to your abuser because you are afraid to lose them. I cannot count the number of times I went back to apologize for doing nothing, that is trauma bond working for her.

The narcissist will never apologize for their wrong at the later part of the relationship, they will do wrong, and expect you to take it, when you try to speak up, they give you the silent treatment as a punishment. Yea,because they have groomed their victims so much through the various love bombing stages. I was given silent treatment every time, and yes,after going a week of waiting to see if she will apologize for her wrong, I end up saying sorry. I was groomed during the earlier days to not do without her.

The narcissist will love bomb you at the early stage of your relationship, this is not genuine love,it is a tactics to get you used to them and whenever you try to leave and think of the past memories, you will have no choice than to run back to them until they are ready to discard you. In my case,she calls every day to check on me, would spend over an hour with me on phone, gave me pet names and showed the world that she truly loved me. Those were all lies.

WHAT WENT WRONG BETWEEN I AND MY NARC EX.

For me, i thought she was the last bus stop, in fact I had been planning how our wedding even though I had limited funds at that time, I was ready to go against anybody just to wed my soulmate. But then, this problem keep coming. I felt someone was trying to control me, someone was doing wrong and do not apologize. We kept fighting almost every week, and yes, I kept apologising.

Early this year, I called her to discuss marriage plan, she disagreed with everything and went completely mute, I called the next day to resolve and ask for her opinion, she still went mute, the silent treatment increased. I vowed I am done and will not contact her again, went no contact. After two month, I saw her pic somewhere, and since I was trauma bonded to her and didn't heal completely, I went back begging her for over a week. That is was being trauma bond to a narcissist does, it completely makes you their slave.

During the cause of the discard from my narc ex, she knew that I have been trauma bonded to her and the sight of her pic will bring back memories, she used what is called " flying monkeys " to make me see her pics and believe that I will keep rushing back to beg her, because she enjoy all the abuse.

HOW DO YOU KNOW THAT YOU DATING A NARCISSIST; if you do any of those thing I did, you are dating a narcissist.

1. I beg for her attention when she gives silent treatment.
2. I felt like she is just the one.
3. I do not look at any other lady not even a friendly look because all my attention was around her.
4. Her eyes goes dark when she is angry.
5. She shouts and insults to any extent when angry.
6. When she wrongs me and I refuse to call and apologize for reacting, maybe for 5 days or a week, she rages in anger.
7. She belittles me when she is angry, this is a common trait with a narc, male or female.
8. From her story, during our love days, and from my findings her dad is a narc. Pls try and know your lover parent, narc is hereditary.


Did I talk about how I later confirm that my Darling angel was a terrible covert narcissist.

Early this year, I had a neighbor whose 2 years old daughter exhibited the same traits my ex exhibited, the anger, the manipulation, the gaslighing, everything.

Finally, narcissists are demonic, look for these red flags in your relationship and end the relationship the minute you confirm that you date is a narc, there is no changing them, I tried and got hurt. The narc know what he/she is doing.

Narcissism is hereditary and they are born that way, they keep getting worse by the day, so best is to avoid them.

Drops pen.





Forget the grammer, the issue is that you love too deeply, its not a bad thing though, but it can also be a weakness if you're not aware of it and control it

41 Likes

Re: Avoid A Narcissist At All Cost, My Experience. A Must Read. by PAYnDRIVE(m): 2:22pm On Dec 07, 2023
Na wa o
Re: Avoid A Narcissist At All Cost, My Experience. A Must Read. by Haydens: 2:23pm On Dec 07, 2023
Redpill is the way!

5 Likes

Re: Avoid A Narcissist At All Cost, My Experience. A Must Read. by BadCuntry: 2:23pm On Dec 07, 2023
Nice one OP.

To add to it, narcs suffer from delusion of grandeur... And they constantly need praise and admiration

37 Likes 3 Shares

Re: Avoid A Narcissist At All Cost, My Experience. A Must Read. by Dexy4yah(m): 2:24pm On Dec 07, 2023
I don't wish even my worst enemy to date a narcissist.

They will always want to control you and they keep milking you emotionally.

They are the worst people to date or marry

37 Likes 4 Shares

Re: Avoid A Narcissist At All Cost, My Experience. A Must Read. by Aaaaarghmed(m): 2:24pm On Dec 07, 2023
I wound the Narcissist wey I ghost sotey,she gatz call me after months and said....so it is very easy for you to leave and walk away.This her statement sweet me die.I have always told her,I have gentle face but if I cross my mind.Am not going back.she think say na joke.i bullshit her.

39 Likes 3 Shares

Re: Avoid A Narcissist At All Cost, My Experience. A Must Read. by Snow2six(m): 2:24pm On Dec 07, 2023
2days meks it 2wks and a day i no cal her again, e don shock her cos its unusual of me, na she now de cal my frnds thinkin my frnds go talk abt d quarel, she go cal dm bt no fit talk abt d quarel, nd na y she cal o,bt becos she feels 2 proud,she wont speak up..Me don X her lik ds..

14 Likes

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