₦airaland Forum

abobote:
You are a weak man period. Narcissist my foot

narcissists would deal with you like a slow poison, weak man or not. They would bury you before you realise it.

Better get educated. This is not Romance section or Red pill 101.

Evolutionism:
All i can say is You Be Mumuu.

No mind am.

Two of Una dey relationship but na you dey always apologize and na you dey always call if una dey fight.

Na you dey in-love, so na you be the mumu.


E get one girl wey dey always call me that year but I no dey pick, she go dey cry say I dey maltreat am for WhatsApp but I no dey bulge, I no send. I dey sure say she fit go dey think say I be narcissist. Me wey be gentle boy.

I just didn't love her and that was the problem.

I'm happy she's free of the Karleb's love spell tho , as I am happy for the OP.

Magnoliaa:
I am just looking at one ediot up there.

Dude kept coming onto me, repeating "You're nothing. You're not a real woman. You're a beech. I would never date your kind. I will never invest on you or spend my money on you. Your life is meaningless. You're a Nairaland roach," and all sorts to me over a comment I made on a thread.


Person wey I nor know for my life before. E muzz me, I swear. Like who is the person this dude is trying to convince of shìt?

Infact, see:
https://www.nairaland.com/7908473/being-failure-not-bad-afterall/1#127125507

If you want to go through the thread. He is here too claiming someone was narcissistic to him, lmaooo.

lol

'Narc'. If a Narc is what you described, then they are immature people looking for people to hurt too. They need help. They need to control or manipulate someone to feel fulfilled.

Your relative immaturity (no insult intended) as a man made her able to have such impact in your life.

scoops:
there's so much on this topic but the bottom line is we all need to love ourselves well enough so we don't become the vulnerable one that should be exploited, and making money too is important because in today's world you'll need it to be independent and less vulnerable to the wolves we now have around us.

the antidote. Well said!

Once, I walked out on one (top boss) at my work place, right after giving him a dose of his own medicine. I beat him at his own game at the end. Checkmate!
He never saw it coming. No amount of gaslighting and victim-blaming could work on me. I identified all his/their guiles, including conditioning, trauma-bonding and remote manipulation.
I played along until I got my chance. I wasn't going to be vulnerable, even if I disguised as loyal/subservient most of the time. My silence was misleading. Encouraged him to lose guard.
I eventually walked away head high with pride and dignity. It was a mentally draining period, with altered reality and living in denial. Drives a normal person crazy trying to process the narcissistic toxicity. I am still angry with him for all he did and doing with others, but I'm glad I gave mine an expiration date.
I sailed through easily because I loved myself and knew my worth. I am Titanium (SIA).

Knowledge of NPD and the Dark Triads is necessary for survival in this cruel, selfish world.
I am an dark Empath. I love the thrill of engaging Narcs. I smell their ego, I see through their BS. I do not fear them. Rather, I have them for breakfast!

Mobahd:
You are the naccisist here. Having multiple wives is African.

Says who?

And how does having multiple women before marriage translate to wives?

wrongnumber:
STOP giving unfounded definitions.

Polygamy has nothing to do with narcism.

Polygamy is a collective agreement in marriage, having multiple women without an agreement during dating is not polygamy.

Saintinoo:
I never knew that I will one day write about this, because, of all the advice I have been given, I taught it was love in the air.

Some months ago, I created a thread about how I can't get over my girlfriend and another thread where I confirmed that she was a narcissist. But now, I have not only confirmed that I dated a covert narcissist for four solid years, but I have come to learn a lot about narcissism and how to unmask them. Sadly, we have more narcissist both male and female going into serious relationships.
White you are thinking about the problems in your relationship, the fights everyday, the mental abuse etc, you might just be in a relationship with a narcissist and that is the worst thing that can happen to anybody.

HOW DO NARCISSISTS GET THEIR VICTIMS.

Be it male or female narcissist, they hunt for their victims same way. A narcissist targets an empath, they target people who have something they do not have, learn empathy from you just to use it against you.

They portray themselves as the best thing that can happen to you after egusi soup. Yes, my narc ex portrayed those traits, that wife material characteristics, godly and prayerful, dress decent and act same. Do not be deceived, they know that is what you want in a woman so they give it to you for the while.

They will always talk about forever with you, bring so many fairly tails and give you the soul mate feeling, this you will believe you have found a wife or a husband, then you start making marriage's preparation. They have successfully made you commit. Mine always use this word "forever is the goal". All these is to make you commit and when you have committed, they start the abuse stage.

The narcissist common aim, be it male or female is to get you trauma bonded to them. Trauma bond is a situation when you excuse abuse from someone, go back to your abuser because you are afraid to lose them. I cannot count the number of times I went back to apologize for doing nothing, that is trauma bond working for her.

The narcissist will never apologize for their wrong at the later part of the relationship, they will do wrong, and expect you to take it, when you try to speak up, they give you the silent treatment as a punishment. Yea,because they have groomed their victims so much through the various love bombing stages. I was given silent treatment every time, and yes,after going a week of waiting to see if she will apologize for her wrong, I end up saying sorry. I was groomed during the earlier days to not do without her.

The narcissist will love bomb you at the early stage of your relationship, this is not genuine love,it is a tactics to get you used to them and whenever you try to leave and think of the past memories, you will have no choice than to run back to them until they are ready to discard you. In my case,she calls every day to check on me, would spend over an hour with me on phone, gave me pet names and showed the world that she truly loved me. Those were all lies.

WHAT WENT WRONG BETWEEN I AND MY NARC EX.

For me, i thought she was the last bus stop, in fact I had been planning how our wedding even though I had limited funds at that time, I was ready to go against anybody just to wed my soulmate. But then, this problem keep coming. I felt someone was trying to control me, someone was doing wrong and do not apologize. We kept fighting almost every week, and yes, I kept apologising.

Early this year, I called her to discuss marriage plan, she disagreed with everything and went completely mute, I called the next day to resolve and ask for her opinion, she still went mute, the silent treatment increased. I vowed I am done and will not contact her again, went no contact. After two month, I saw her pic somewhere, and since I was trauma bonded to her and didn't heal completely, I went back begging her for over a week. That is was being trauma bond to a narcissist does, it completely makes you their slave.

During the cause of the discard from my narc ex, she knew that I have been trauma bonded to her and the sight of her pic will bring back memories, she used what is called " flying monkeys " to make me see her pics and believe that I will keep rushing back to beg her, because she enjoy all the abuse.

HOW DO YOU KNOW THAT YOU DATING A NARCISSIST; if you do any of those thing I did, you are dating a narcissist.

1. I beg for her attention when she gives silent treatment.
2. I felt like she is just the one.
3. I do not look at any other lady not even a friendly look because all my attention was around her.
4. Her eyes goes dark when she is angry.
5. She shouts and insults to any extent when angry.
6. When she wrongs me and I refuse to call and apologize for reacting, maybe for 5 days or a week, she rages in anger.
7. She belittles me when she is angry, this is a common trait with a narc, male or female.
8. From her story, during our love days, and from my findings her dad is a narc. Pls try and know your lover parent, narc is hereditary.


Did I talk about how I later confirm that my Darling angel was a terrible covert narcissist.

Early this year, I had a neighbor whose 2 years old daughter exhibited the same traits my ex exhibited, the anger, the manipulation, the gaslighing, everything.

Finally, narcissists are demonic, look for these red flags in your relationship and end the relationship the minute you confirm that you date is a narc, there is no changing them, I tried and got hurt. The narc know what he/she is doing.

Narcissism is hereditary and they are born that way, they keep getting worse by the day, so best is to avoid them.

Drops pen.

There is nothing hereditary about the behaviour. People develop such behaviour as a children, and when they don't get people to correct them, they grow up that way.

I comptely agree with you..I have been a victim of these, am still suffering the bond she created..ThankGod for the foresight

Fountainofyouth:
That means you are also a narcissist because only narcissists do this, and only foolish girls stay with guys like that

Ladies know your worth and do not allow men belittle and degrade you, when you know he has other women, be gone.

Even you giving this advise cannot apply it. As long as a relationship still meets any lady's major objective, she will still find reasons to stay put with even the devil.

Fountainofyouth:
Polygamy is a collective agreement in marriage, having multiple women without an agreement during dating is not polygamy.

Abeg shift with your unfounded theory.

The hypocrisy here is that ladies are the proponents of polygamy and a lady will remain with a wealthy polygamous man so what is the hypocrisy all about

Biko shift go one side.

Fountainofyouth:
The bolded is so true, this happened to me with an ex, I refused to be bent to accept the ideology that men don't cheat, that it is mandatory for men to have multiple women which is normal and not cheating, this guy will do everything to get me back, then intentionally let me know that he has other women, a man in his late 30s o, the last time he did that again and I left for good, he couldn't believe it, he did everything, much more than he has ever done before to get me back, but I didn't budge, I was permanently done, the next thing this dude did was to badmouth and paint me bad to anybody that cares to listen, he thought that will make me talk to him when I heard, but I couldn't be bothered, he even cursed me at some point lol, fear narcissists, they can kill.

That's their modus operandi.

It hurts them so much to see themselves not succeeding with you at their heinous craft and would always go to any length and breadth to suck you back in.

The solution is simply to cut them off and leave them reeling at their failure.

It hurts them so badly when they fail at their every attempts.

Saintinoo:
Now, I don't need to waste a minute to spot one, once I do, I avoid them like a plague.
Those guys are demonic.

Didn't read everything you wrote up there but seems like you talk too much. And no one respects a man who talks too much. This is exactly why you were always the one begging for her attention when reverse ought to have been the case here.

Dude, a man's word is powerful Hence he talks less. The moment a woman gives you attitude dump her and get another girl. She'll realized you're the prize! Always be the head in your relationship! Be the first to end everything!

Fountainofyouth:
That means you are also a narcissist because only narcissists do this, and only foolish girls stay with guys like that

Ladies know your worth and do not allow men belittle and degrade you, when you know he has other women, be gone.

I have very sure today is the first time you're the hearing the phrase narcissists. Thus to around calling everyone narcissist.

Your type who goes around calling people narcissist are the real narcissists. The fact you couldn't counter that guy's points with facts and u obviously couldn't manipulate him either means you're a narcissist. The moment you can't Manipulate a guy, you then turn around to label him a narcissist?

Saintinoo:
Did you read the post completely? Through, this is in the past, just wanted to create awareness so others don't fall victim.

BTW, dealing with a narc is never easy. Many are in a relationship with them but they don't know.

Guy you are very spot on, I guess you just wrote epistle about my ex, you describe her totally I am wondering if you know her or after i left her, you get to hook with her


Anyway, they are very manipulative and people always listen to them and blame you instead, you will never win them,out of the world anger, ready to destroy anything when angry, funny thing is when people are trying to correct brain with words say make you find your way,both of your ears will be dead, I mean completely dead to sensor say word dey try to enter...


She nearly kill me then and she's still killing me, she really got me

Thank God for life sha

Saintinoo:
Now, I don't need to waste a minute to spot one, once I do, I avoid them like a plague.
Those guys are demonic.

that girl do you strong thing oooo bro... Thank God you move

The roaches will always write stupid comments,they will obviously be pained till they die ;Obviously I keep hitting nerves

Amumaigwe:
Even you giving this advise cannot apply it. As long as a relationship still meets any lady's major objective, she will still find reasons to stay put with even the devil.

You can't just sit in your 2 by 2 and assume that every lady is what you paint in your head, whoever choose to stay put with the devil is their choice, and whoever choose to leave will leave.

There is one I just observed,She started by first getting very close to me,forming love.When I started noticing her,d babe begin confuse me.I just started avoiding her though,but she keeps coming closer.

This is exactly what happened to me, I know some of you wouldn't understand yet until you have experienced it. Trust me it's a whole load of pains later on. Getting to this thread is a blessing on its own

Slimplush:
Guy you are very spot on, I guess you just wrote epistle about my ex, you describe her totally I am wondering if you know her or after i left her, you get to hook with her


Anyway, they are very manipulative and people always listen to them and blame you instead, you will never win them,out of the world anger, ready to destroy anything when angry, funny thing is when people are trying to correct brain with words say make you find your way,both of your ears will be dead, I mean completely dead to sensor say word dey try to enter...


She nearly kill me then and she's still killing me, she really got me

Thank God for life sha

I still haven't healed yet from the pains . it's so hard its worse than heartbreak it's like giving you heaven then taking it away. And there is no chance to retrace. Because you have push away any other lady in your life both friends and colleagues just to please her.. You will be broken because you won't find anyone to console you .. Its also leave a scar on you that any other lady you find it hard to truly love the person.

Saintinoo:
I never knew that I will one day write about this, because, of all the advice I have been given, I taught it was love in the air.

Some months ago, I created a thread about how I can't get over my girlfriend and another thread where I confirmed that she was a narcissist. But now, I have not only confirmed that I dated a covert narcissist for four solid years, but I have come to learn a lot about narcissism and how to unmask them. Sadly, we have more narcissist both male and female going into serious relationships.
White you are thinking about the problems in your relationship, the fights everyday, the mental abuse etc, you might just be in a relationship with a narcissist and that is the worst thing that can happen to anybody.

HOW DO NARCISSISTS GET THEIR VICTIMS.

Be it male or female narcissist, they hunt for their victims same way. A narcissist targets an empath, they target people who have something they do not have, learn empathy from you just to use it against you.

They portray themselves as the best thing that can happen to you after egusi soup. Yes, my narc ex portrayed those traits, that wife material characteristics, godly and prayerful, dress decent and act same. Do not be deceived, they know that is what you want in a woman so they give it to you for the while.

They will always talk about forever with you, bring so many fairly tails and give you the soul mate feeling, this you will believe you have found a wife or a husband, then you start making marriage's preparation. They have successfully made you commit. Mine always use this word "forever is the goal". All these is to make you commit and when you have committed, they start the abuse stage.

The narcissist common aim, be it male or female is to get you trauma bonded to them. Trauma bond is a situation when you excuse abuse from someone, go back to your abuser because you are afraid to lose them. I cannot count the number of times I went back to apologize for doing nothing, that is trauma bond working for her.

The narcissist will never apologize for their wrong at the later part of the relationship, they will do wrong, and expect you to take it, when you try to speak up, they give you the silent treatment as a punishment. Yea,because they have groomed their victims so much through the various love bombing stages. I was given silent treatment every time, and yes,after going a week of waiting to see if she will apologize for her wrong, I end up saying sorry. I was groomed during the earlier days to not do without her.

The narcissist will love bomb you at the early stage of your relationship, this is not genuine love,it is a tactics to get you used to them and whenever you try to leave and think of the past memories, you will have no choice than to run back to them until they are ready to discard you. In my case,she calls every day to check on me, would spend over an hour with me on phone, gave me pet names and showed the world that she truly loved me. Those were all lies.

WHAT WENT WRONG BETWEEN I AND MY NARC EX.

For me, i thought she was the last bus stop, in fact I had been planning how our wedding even though I had limited funds at that time, I was ready to go against anybody just to wed my soulmate. But then, this problem keep coming. I felt someone was trying to control me, someone was doing wrong and do not apologize. We kept fighting almost every week, and yes, I kept apologising.

Early this year, I called her to discuss marriage plan, she disagreed with everything and went completely mute, I called the next day to resolve and ask for her opinion, she still went mute, the silent treatment increased. I vowed I am done and will not contact her again, went no contact. After two month, I saw her pic somewhere, and since I was trauma bonded to her and didn't heal completely, I went back begging her for over a week. That is was being trauma bond to a narcissist does, it completely makes you their slave.

During the cause of the discard from my narc ex, she knew that I have been trauma bonded to her and the sight of her pic will bring back memories, she used what is called " flying monkeys " to make me see her pics and believe that I will keep rushing back to beg her, because she enjoy all the abuse.

HOW DO YOU KNOW THAT YOU DATING A NARCISSIST; if you do any of those thing I did, you are dating a narcissist.

1. I beg for her attention when she gives silent treatment.
2. I felt like she is just the one.
3. I do not look at any other lady not even a friendly look because all my attention was around her.
4. Her eyes goes dark when she is angry.
5. She shouts and insults to any extent when angry.
6. When she wrongs me and I refuse to call and apologize for reacting, maybe for 5 days or a week, she rages in anger.
7. She belittles me when she is angry, this is a common trait with a narc, male or female.
8. From her story, during our love days, and from my findings her dad is a narc. Pls try and know your lover parent, narc is hereditary.


Did I talk about how I later confirm that my Darling angel was a terrible covert narcissist.

Early this year, I had a neighbor whose 2 years old daughter exhibited the same traits my ex exhibited, the anger, the manipulation, the gaslighing, everything.

Finally, narcissists are demonic, look for these red flags in your relationship and end the relationship the minute you confirm that you date is a narc, there is no changing them, I tried and got hurt. The narc know what he/she is doing.

Narcissism is hereditary and they are born that way, they keep getting worse by the day, so best is to avoid them.

Drops pen.

The lady that you have described is not a narcissist. Yes, she has issues; serious issues, but not exactly a narcissist. Narcissism is a disorder; mental health condition.

She can be described as a clever attention seeker. She has pride and perhaps arrogant.

Aaaaarghmed:
you deserve a chilled Goldberg

Please also involve me

kzpelumi:
I still haven't healed yet from the pains . it's so hard its worse than heartbreak it's like giving you heaven then taking it away. And there is no chance to retrace. Because you have push away any other lady in your life both friends and colleagues just to please her.. You will be broken because you won't find anyone to console you .. Its also leave a scar on you that any other lady you find it hard to truly love the person.

You were just a fool in love. So many of us have been like that once or severally.

Stop crying over spilled milk, it is time to move on.

Saintinoo:
Its been over 5 months I have gotten over her, just wanted to share full experience so others don't fall victim.

No matter what bro,never go back to that demon.

You have not bottom over her, that is why you are sharing the story with pain written all over it.

finegirl233:
The traits of a nerc you listed up there makes me laugh. There is a tendency that more than 80% of humans have one or more of such characteristics, so advicing others on a public forum to avoid anyone with your list is absurd to me.

Kindly move on with your life if you are happy the relationship ended, no need for long stories.



Peace

Thanks for saying this. People just tend to label everybody a narcissist while they themselves are blind to the fact that they exhibit the same traits

GO0DHardDick:
Didn't read everything you wrote up there but seems like you talk too much. And no one respects a man who talks too much. This is exactly why you were always the one begging for her attention when reverse ought to have been the case here.

Dude, a man's word is powerful Hence he talks less. The moment a woman gives you attitude dump her and get another girl. She'll realized you're the prize! Always be the head in your relationship! Be the first to end everything!

There is a limit to this "end it and walk away" mentality. What if it's a business partner, manager at work, family member or your wife/husband

Saintinoo:
Now, I don't need to waste a minute to spot one, once I do, I avoid them like a plague.
Those guys are demonic.

One important question: are you a male or female?

Saintinoo:
I never knew that I will one day write about this, because, of all the advice I have been given, I taught it was love in the air.

Some months ago, I created a thread about how I can't get over my girlfriend and another thread where I confirmed that she was a narcissist. But now, I have not only confirmed that I dated a covert narcissist for four solid years, but I have come to learn a lot about narcissism and how to unmask them. Sadly,


we have more narcissist both male and female going into serious relationships.
White you are thinking about the problems in your relationship, the fights everyday, the mental abuse etc, you might just be in a relationship with a narcissist and that is the worst thing that can happen to anybody.

HOW DO NARCISSISTS GET THEIR VICTIMS.

Be it male or female narcissist, they hunt for their victims same way. A narcissist targets an empath, they target people who have something they do not have, learn empathy from you just to use it against you.

They portray themselves as the best thing that can happen to you after egusi soup. Yes, my narc ex portrayed those traits, that wife material characteristics, godly and prayerful, dress decent and act same. Do not be deceived, they know that is what you want in a woman so they give it to you for the while.

They will always talk about forever with you, bring so many fairly tails and give you the soul mate feeling, this you will believe you have found a wife or a husband, then you start making marriage's preparation. They have successfully made you commit. Mine always use this word "forever is the goal". All these is to make you commit and when you have committed, they start the abuse stage.

The narcissist common aim, be it male or female is to get you trauma bonded to them. Trauma bond is a situation when you excuse abuse from someone, go back to your abuser because you are afraid to lose them. I cannot count the number of times I went back to apologize for doing nothing, that is trauma bond working for her.

The narcissist will never apologize for their wrong at the later part of the relationship, they will do wrong, and expect you to take it, when you try to speak up, they give you the silent treatment as a punishment. Yea,because they have groomed their victims so much through the various love bombing stages. I was given silent treatment every time, and yes,after going a week of waiting to see if she will apologize for her wrong, I end up saying sorry. I was groomed during the earlier days to not do without her.

The narcissist will love bomb you at the early stage of your relationship, this is not genuine love,it is a tactics to get you used to them and whenever you try to leave and think of the past memories, you will have no choice than to run back to them until they are ready to discard you. In my case,she calls every day to check on me, would spend over an hour with me on phone, gave me pet names and showed the world that she truly loved me. Those were all lies.

WHAT WENT WRONG BETWEEN I AND MY NARC EX.

For me, i thought she was the last bus stop, in fact I had been planning how our wedding even though I had limited funds at that time, I was ready to go against anybody just to wed my soulmate. But then, this problem keep coming. I felt someone was trying to control me, someone was doing wrong and do not apologize. We kept fighting almost every week, and yes, I kept apologising.

Early this year, I called her to discuss marriage plan, she disagreed with everything and went completely mute, I called the next day to resolve and ask for her opinion, she still went mute, the silent treatment increased. I vowed I am done and will not contact her again, went no contact. After two month, I saw her pic somewhere, and since I was trauma bonded to her and didn't heal completely, I went back begging her for over a week. That is was being trauma bond to a narcissist does, it completely makes you their slave.

During the cause of the discard from my narc ex, she knew that I have been trauma bonded to her and the sight of her pic will bring back memories, she used what is called " flying monkeys " to make me see her pics and believe that I will keep rushing back to beg her, because she enjoy all the abuse.

HOW DO YOU KNOW THAT YOU DATING A NARCISSIST; if you do any of those thing I did, you are dating a narcissist.

1. I beg for her attention when she gives silent treatment.
2. I felt like she is just the one.
3. I do not look at any other lady not even a friendly look because all my attention was around her.
4. Her eyes goes dark when she is angry.
5. She shouts and insults to any extent when angry.
6. When she wrongs me and I refuse to call and apologize for reacting, maybe for 5 days or a week, she rages in anger.
7. She belittles me when she is angry, this is a common trait with a narc, male or female.
8. From her story, during our love days, and from my findings her dad is a narc. Pls try and know your lover parent, narc is hereditary.


Did I talk about how I later confirm that my Darling angel was a terrible covert narcissist.

Early this year, I had a neighbor whose 2 years old daughter exhibited the same traits my ex exhibited, the anger, the manipulation, the gaslighing, everything.

Finally, narcissists are demonic, look for these red flags in your relationship and end the relationship the minute you confirm that you date is a narc, there is no changing them, I tried and got hurt. The narc know what he/she is doing.

Narcissism is hereditary and they are born that way, they keep getting worse by the day, so best is to avoid them.

Drops pen.

IT'S LIKE YOU ARE JOBLESS....? WHY ENDURE ALL THAT BULLSHIT AS IF SHE'S THE ONLY GIRL ON THIS EARTH ?

If you people like start labelling everybody narcissist. It's very easy to identify your own trait in others. Let everyone examine his/character and do better. You can't always run away/walk away from everybody because you think they are narcissistic

Mcslize:
One important question: are you a male or female?

Na hermaphrodite

Karleb:
No mind am.

Two of Una dey relationship but na you dey always apologize and na you dey always call if una dey fight.

Na you dey in-love, so na you be the mumu.


E get one girl wey dey always call me that year but I no dey pick, she go dey cry say I dey maltreat am for WhatsApp but I no dey bulge, I no send. I dey sure say she fit go dey think say I be narcissist. Me wey be gentle boy.

I just didn't love her and that was the problem.

I'm happy she's free of the Karleb's love spell tho , as I am happy for the OP.

Its okay to not know something. You don’t know what narcissism is and you’re arguing without knowledge. All I can say is may you never fall prey to one.

Let me try to use this comment as an example: imagine if instead of ignoring that girl you faked love and swept her off her feet. You promised her heaven on earth and 2.4 children, you showed her “love” like it was a movie and once she was hooked, you started to abuse, insult, and belittle her. She found no peace because you live for violence and drama.

That’s what narcissists do! They are demons, they are our parents, siblings, cousins and friends, it’s not just romantic relationships!

Try learning instead of arguing.