₦airaland Forum

tete7000:
There is nothing hereditary about the behaviour. People develop such behaviour as a children, and when they don't get people to correct them, they grow up that way.

I think he means learnt behaviour, if a parent is narcissistic then the chances of the child being one is very high.

Empathetic people are often narcissist bait and they are the victims of narcissists. A narcissist lacks empathy and empathetic people are just flexing what a narc can never feel.

It’s like walking down a dark alley wearing all your wealth and carrying all your worldly possessions in a bag! Won’t you be robbed by a poverty stricken person? But you could do that same thing in a rich neighbourhood and nobody will bat an eyelid.

Empaths have what a narc lacks and naturally they must attract each other.

As the bait and victim, your job is to work on yourself especially your self esteem and self worth. You have to understand that you are prey so you have to protect yourself and adapt accordingly.

Op, your story na movie ooo. If you meet movie producers, dem go make movie out of am. I trust my Aba boys for this one.b

Artiiclebeast:
Kpele.

I deal with narcissists for fun and it has always worked.

They hate it when they get found out and always put in their place.

Damn straight. They are good opportunist. I know how to spot them.

However there's something the OP is not seeing most narc I know we're once abused brutally, seldom teachable, have exaggerated opinions of themselves, seldom giver's, mostly on the taking side.

The only way to beat a narc is to see through their bullshit, you have to be a lot smarter else you'll regret your life, you won't know you're being used until it's too late, and they know exactly what's right and wrong, but justify wrong behavior from ego.

They have a larger than life attitude, a narcissist will tell you they made you and they're the best thing you can get. Lols I'm just laughing because I learnt about human behavior early and I grew up well, so I know bullshit when I see it.

Saintinoo:
Now, I don't need to waste a minute to spot one, once I do, I avoid them like a plague.
Those guys are demonic.

You just need to know how to manage them if you're working together.

Some top leader's have these tendencies if you don't know.

In a working environment there's how to handle them, else they'll make life miserable for you especially if they're your superiors.

Haydens:
If I found out that I'm dating a narcissist, how I usually crush them is to MIRROR their character.

Very simple.

Gbamsolutely. They so hate what they dish out .

Saintinoo:
I never knew that I will one day write about this, because, of all the advice I have been given, I taught it was love in the air.

Some months ago, I created a thread about how I can't get over my girlfriend and another thread where I confirmed that she was a narcissist. But now, I have not only confirmed that I dated a covert narcissist for four solid years, but I have come to learn a lot about narcissism and how to unmask them. Sadly, we have more narcissist both male and female going into serious relationships.
White you are thinking about the problems in your relationship, the fights everyday, the mental abuse etc, you might just be in a relationship with a narcissist and that is the worst thing that can happen to anybody.

HOW DO NARCISSISTS GET THEIR VICTIMS.

Be it male or female narcissist, they hunt for their victims same way. A narcissist targets an empath, they target people who have something they do not have, learn empathy from you just to use it against you.

They portray themselves as the best thing that can happen to you after egusi soup. Yes, my narc ex portrayed those traits, that wife material characteristics, godly and prayerful, dress decent and act same. Do not be deceived, they know that is what you want in a woman so they give it to you for the while.

They will always talk about forever with you, bring so many fairly tails and give you the soul mate feeling, this you will believe you have found a wife or a husband, then you start making marriage's preparation. They have successfully made you commit. Mine always use this word "forever is the goal". All these is to make you commit and when you have committed, they start the abuse stage.

The narcissist common aim, be it male or female is to get you trauma bonded to them. Trauma bond is a situation when you excuse abuse from someone, go back to your abuser because you are afraid to lose them. I cannot count the number of times I went back to apologize for doing nothing, that is trauma bond working for her.

The narcissist will never apologize for their wrong at the later part of the relationship, they will do wrong, and expect you to take it, when you try to speak up, they give you the silent treatment as a punishment. Yea,because they have groomed their victims so much through the various love bombing stages. I was given silent treatment every time, and yes,after going a week of waiting to see if she will apologize for her wrong, I end up saying sorry. I was groomed during the earlier days to not do without her.

The narcissist will love bomb you at the early stage of your relationship, this is not genuine love,it is a tactics to get you used to them and whenever you try to leave and think of the past memories, you will have no choice than to run back to them until they are ready to discard you. In my case,she calls every day to check on me, would spend over an hour with me on phone, gave me pet names and showed the world that she truly loved me. Those were all lies.

WHAT WENT WRONG BETWEEN I AND MY NARC EX.

For me, i thought she was the last bus stop, in fact I had been planning how our wedding even though I had limited funds at that time, I was ready to go against anybody just to wed my soulmate. But then, this problem keep coming. I felt someone was trying to control me, someone was doing wrong and do not apologize. We kept fighting almost every week, and yes, I kept apologising.

Early this year, I called her to discuss marriage plan, she disagreed with everything and went completely mute, I called the next day to resolve and ask for her opinion, she still went mute, the silent treatment increased. I vowed I am done and will not contact her again, went no contact. After two month, I saw her pic somewhere, and since I was trauma bonded to her and didn't heal completely, I went back begging her for over a week. That is was being trauma bond to a narcissist does, it completely makes you their slave.

During the cause of the discard from my narc ex, she knew that I have been trauma bonded to her and the sight of her pic will bring back memories, she used what is called " flying monkeys " to make me see her pics and believe that I will keep rushing back to beg her, because she enjoy all the abuse.

HOW DO YOU KNOW THAT YOU DATING A NARCISSIST; if you do any of those thing I did, you are dating a narcissist.

1. I beg for her attention when she gives silent treatment.
2. I felt like she is just the one.
3. I do not look at any other lady not even a friendly look because all my attention was around her.
4. Her eyes goes dark when she is angry.
5. She shouts and insults to any extent when angry.
6. When she wrongs me and I refuse to call and apologize for reacting, maybe for 5 days or a week, she rages in anger.
7. She belittles me when she is angry, this is a common trait with a narc, male or female.
8. From her story, during our love days, and from my findings her dad is a narc. Pls try and know your lover parent, narc is hereditary.


Did I talk about how I later confirm that my Darling angel was a terrible covert narcissist.

Early this year, I had a neighbor whose 2 years old daughter exhibited the same traits my ex exhibited, the anger, the manipulation, the gaslighing, everything.

Finally, narcissists are demonic, look for these red flags in your relationship and end the relationship the minute you confirm that you date is a narc, there is no changing them, I tried and got hurt. The narc know what he/she is doing.

Narcissism is hereditary and they are born that way, they keep getting worse by the day, so best is to avoid them.

Drops pen.

Thank G0d for your deliverance. Go and sin no more. Narcissists attract a type.

Brandiebird:
Its okay to not know something. You don’t know what narcissism is and you’re arguing without knowledge. All I can say is may you never fall prey to one.

Let me try to use this comment as an example: imagine if instead of ignoring that girl you faked love and swept her off her feet. You promised her heaven on earth and 2.4 children, you showed her “love” like it was a movie and once she was hooked, you started to abuse, insult, and belittle her. She found no peace because you live for violence and drama.

That’s what narcissists do! They are demons, they are our parents, siblings, cousins and friends, it’s not just romantic relationships!

Try learning instead of arguing.

This case is a case of the girl loving the guy less than he loves her.

It's not one narci-kinikan.

We've seen it play out times without numbers.

By the time the girl meets someone she loves more than he loves her, she'll turn to mumu too.

pocohantas:
Welcome to the redpill.

It's not a redpill thing, OP was naive simple.

Karleb:
This case is a case of the girl loving the guy less than he loves her.

It's not one narci-kinikan.

We've seen it play out times without numbers.

By the time the girl meets someone she loves more than he loves her, she'll turn to mumu too.

You better listen to what OP is saying very well, else e go shock you.

I've dated a narc, she fell head over hills, and mumu's for me.

My brother their excesses is not what any man can bear. In the Bible it talks about it's better to live on the top of a house than staying with a contentious woman. A narcissist woman is an example, they blow things out of proportion and justify silly behaviors.

The first red flag was entanglement with their ex's, me way hate cheating, na one way I discharge am, a woman who keeps good relationship with her ex's is a big NO NO. I'm not saying hate them, don't communicate consistently, or checking up simple. She beg tire I no shift ground's. I have zero tolerance for cheating or it's tendencies. I rather die single.

After that relationship that barely last, I went for a retreat, how could I attract such a person without knowing? Time will fail me to give you proper gist.

Slimplush:
Guy you are very spot on, I guess you just wrote epistle about my ex, you describe her totally I am wondering if you know her or after i left her, you get to hook with her


Anyway, they are very manipulative and people always listen to them and blame you instead, you will never win them,out of the world anger, ready to destroy anything when angry, funny thing is when people are trying to correct brain with words say make you find your way,both of your ears will be dead, I mean completely dead to sensor say word dey try to enter...


She nearly kill me then and she's still killing me, she really got me

Thank God for life sha

Every narcissist in the world have same or close to same traits, what my ex did to me would be same thing your ex will do. Best thing is to run from them else they teach you how to be a narc.

Your write up shows you are still hurt. Move on

Aaaaarghmed:
The roaches will always write stupid comments,they will obviously be pained till they die ;Obviously I keep hitting nerves

I can spot few narc, from their comments. I have learnt how to unmask these beast so well. That girl really dealt with me but thank God, I learnt a lot.

kzpelumi:
I still haven't healed yet from the pains . it's so hard its worse than heartbreak it's like giving you heaven then taking it away. And there is no chance to retrace. Because you have push away any other lady in your life both friends and colleagues just to please her.. You will be broken because you won't find anyone to console you .. Its also leave a scar on you that any other lady you find it hard to truly love the person.

Just imagine, we passed through same thing, I don't even have female friends not to talk of crush all because of her, mehn, what you just wrote is same thing I passed through.

Wallade:
The lady that you have described is not a narcissist. Yes, she has issues; serious issues, but not exactly a narcissist. Narcissism is a disorder; mental health condition.

She can be described as a clever attention seeker. She has pride and perhaps arrogant.

I know the lady I dated for four years, yes she is a narcissist and I know about narcissism very well. Sometimes I tell myself that she is really crazy. I learnt about narcissism for two good years, compared it to my experience with her, she is a covert narcissist.

It is either Nigeria is full of narcissistic women, or the comments about narcissists on this thread are lies.

Most of them claiming they were fuel are narcs themselves.

Brandiebird:
Its okay to not know something. You don’t know what narcissism is and you’re arguing without knowledge. All I can say is may you never fall prey to one.

Let me try to use this comment as an example: imagine if instead of ignoring that girl you faked love and swept her off her feet. You promised her heaven on earth and 2.4 children, you showed her “love” like it was a movie and once she was hooked, you started to abuse, insult, and belittle her. She found no peace because you live for violence and drama.

That’s what narcissists do! They are demons, they are our parents, siblings, cousins and friends, it’s not just romantic relationships!

Try learning instead of arguing.

Most of them are ignorant of what narcissism is, in the US, they take that thing very serious and victims go for therapy immediately but here, what do we do, we laugh it off. Many broken marriages today is as a result of one partner being a narc, but they don't know.

Sorry but how does a man let a woman belittle him?
Forget the emoji only a simp does this
A woman who respects you will love you and cling to your every word
A tout will remain..a tout or narcissist as you put it
I sha no sabi where una dey see these kind chics
Sha keep in mind there's is a reason women do BBL,make up from head to toe and do other zany stuff
🚶‍♂️🚶‍♂️🚶‍♂️🚶‍♂️

Ebubu:
I have some few questions

1. Do they spot a guy and say “I want to trauma bond this guy”, “let me trauma bond this man”. Or it’s just an unintentional outcome of power play in a relationship ? Was it original or thought-out from the start?

2. I think I’m a victim. I prefer to grow in a relationship with gradual increase in affection, but she preferred I show it massively hot from the start, according to her, na beginning of relationship love suppose dey sweet pass, na beginning of marriage marriage dey sweet pass. Me i believe in wine getting better as it ages. In the first few months of the start, I was just basic in my love approach while she calls me 7 times in a day, comes to see me at break or any free lunchtime, video calls me at night, et cetera.

When I discovered how disrespectful she was to some of my friends and when she retorted to what my sister said about a particular girl this ex says looked like her (my sister), my sister said this girl I said looks like her is not fine. I informed my ex what my sister said about the girl she said looked like my sister, and my ex answered “who tell am say she fine”.

Immediately I lost respect for her, also when she said if we get married her mother in law, (my mon), can’t be coming to the kitchen anyhow. I think I quite agree but it just sounded off to me considering i preferred someone who is communally inclined in her living.

I started telling her she should just boycott all marriage plans that nobody knows God’s plans. Soon after that, her whole affection from me took a nose-dive down. Less calls, intimate chats, time, etc from her.

She also started to chat more with other guys, to her I’ve permitted her to entertain other guys since there’s no security this would lead to marriage.

Note I was watching her reaction to keeping the marriage open, if she’d still be committed (then I’ll re-initiate it), if she acts otherwise, I will know her true colour.

A year later she got talking too deeply with one senior colleague like that. I warned her they communicate too much, she won’t say anything, it got point that she started changing what she used to save the guy’s name on her phone so I will stop checking her. She started to lie about her whereabouts so she’ll have time video-calling the guy. They practically video call 4x in a day.

Eventually I broke off the relationship. She started dating the guy.

The guy showed her shege cos I was still assisting her financially (situationship), though I got sex in exchange. The guy didn’t financially take care of her. I was even buying her pad, etc. in that period I kept begging her to come back to me she would refuse and say it would seem like she is selfish.

Eventually her relationship with the guy hit the rocks one year later. But she did something that made me block her in the meantime, she slept with a single father for whatever reason, she informed me by herself. I was not in town. I got so furious I blocked her. By time I got back to town she had left that guy she left me for and started dating one tech guy who is really doing well financially and taking care of her.

She never begged me for forgiveness for sleeping out with single father cos she felt she had no sexual obligation to me since I wasn’t the boyfriend or husband? or dumping me for another man? She would even be posting love enticing thing about she and the guy she left me for on her status knowing well I would see it.

Earlier on this year around January I asked her if the guy who dumped her came around, would she accept again? She said yes if she still loves him then. This is a girl that didn’t want to consider returning to me same month she broke up. Maybe because she was the one who left, and this time she is the one who was dumped.

This tech guy she’s dating now is taking care of her and started her a sewing business so she won’t be dependent on guys. She’s doing much better.

But still chats me up from blue moon about most mundane things like “what is the colour of the sky?”

“How many pages is final year defence book?” Most irrational things. Don’t know if she wants to keep talking to me, but don’t want us to date?

I rarely post my romantic life on social media but the day I posted loving emoji on status she rushed and posted video of her man and she love cuddling/hugging.


PS: her father is late and her mother struggles a lot, owed several months salary as a primary school teacher in Benue state.

But when I had not cancelled the marriage plans: she was the most romantic woman.

You cancelled marriage plans and still wanted her to be running after you romantically, pining, still calling you up 7 times a day and turning up at your office? And she's the narcissist?

Yusufisraelj:
Damn straight. They are good opportunist. I know how to spot them.

However there's something the OP is not seeing most narc I know we're once abused brutally, seldom teachable, have exaggerated opinions of themselves, seldom giver's, mostly on the taking side.

The only way to beat a narc is to see through their bullshit, you have to be a lot smarter else you'll regret your life, you won't know you're being used until it's too late, and they know exactly what's right and wrong, but justify wrong behavior from ego.

They have a larger than life attitude, a narcissist will tell you they made you and they're the best thing you can get. Lols I'm just laughing because I learnt about human behavior early and I grew up well, so I know bullshit when I see it.

You know a lot about them, I came to realize that they know what they are doing all these while.

Karleb:
This case is a case of the girl loving the guy less than he loves her.

It's not one narci-kinikan.

We've seen it play out times without numbers.

By the time the girl meets someone she loves more than he loves her, she'll turn to mumu too.

When you don't know about something, try and learn, I don't know how old you are but this is not all those small children relationship discussion.

My narc ex love bombed me all through the relationship, I guess you know what love bombing mean? If you don't try and find out.

A narc will show you love, those type you see in zee world, all is a trap to get you trauma bond, maybe there are many things you need to learn.

BRATISLAVA:
You cancelled marriage plans and still wanted her to be running after you romantically, pining, still calling you up 7 times a day and turning up at your office? And she's the narcissist?

i’ve made peace with her decision to quit the relationship.

sync:
Your write up shows you are still hurt. Move on

This is not a normal relationship discussion. You don't get hurt after God saved you from evil. I was trauma bond before. But this is the best thing that happened to me. Mind you, it been over a year. Anytime I think of it, I feel very happy, because I was saved.

Saintinoo:
Most of them are ignorant of what narcissism is, in the US, they take that thing very serious and victims go for therapy immediately but here, what do we do, we laugh it off. Many broken marriages today is as a result of one partner being a narc, but they don't know.

It’s like telling someone there’s a shark in the water, and they are arguing that it’s a big fish 🤣🤣🤣.
I’m really glad you escaped that trap of a relationship, but remain vigilant because you are obviously susceptible to these demons.

I’m so scarred by my many encounters with narcs that I don’t really entertain relationships of any kind anymore.

The worst thing is because of our current society, the rates of narcissism is higher than heart disease. This social media society where being selfish and shallow (fragile sense of self) is promoted; breeds more narcissists.

BRATISLAVA:
You cancelled marriage plans and still wanted her to be running after you romantically, pining, still calling you up 7 times a day and turning up at your office? And she's the narcissist?

The guy wrote near enough a book, yet you clung onto 1 sentence. Is this all you got from it?

The energy she was giving in the beginnings and her reaction to “let’s slow things down” did not correlate.

You guys need to stop making this about boys vs girls, or even romantic relationships in order to understand this thread.

Yusufisraelj:
You just need to know how to manage them if you're working together.

Some top leader's have these tendencies if you don't know.

In a working environment there's how to handle them, else they'll make life miserable for you especially if they're your superiors.

This! This is what scares me. They literally run our world, they are the best and most sought after candidates for the highest positions in government and corporate office.

What is reassuring though is that it finally eats them up because it’s a sickness. It’s really a sad existence for them. I actually feel sorry for them now.

I just hate that initial realisation that I was doped again but once I realise it’s a broken person I don’t take it personal. If it’s a boss, I will look for new opportunities, if it’s any other person friends or family, I block, delete and dodge them.

Lol, a Narcissist is very easy to deal with, na you just dey naive. They're weak, insecured, low self esteem. So they target the energy of an empath to fill up themselves(it makes them feel powerful and in control). Do you know you can make a Narcissist fear and respect you 😂

What about the situation you have married and have kids together before realizing this traits in other partner??

Saintinoo:
I never knew that I will one day write about this, because, of all the advice I have been given, I taught it was love in the air.

Some months ago, I created a thread about how I can't get over my girlfriend and another thread where I confirmed that she was a narcissist. But now, I have not only confirmed that I dated a covert narcissist for four solid years, but I have come to learn a lot about narcissism and how to unmask them. Sadly, we have more narcissist both male and female going into serious relationships.
White you are thinking about the problems in your relationship, the fights everyday, the mental abuse etc, you might just be in a relationship with a narcissist and that is the worst thing that can happen to anybody.

HOW DO NARCISSISTS GET THEIR VICTIMS.

Be it male or female narcissist, they hunt for their victims same way. A narcissist targets an empath, they target people who have something they do not have, learn empathy from you just to use it against you.

They portray themselves as the best thing that can happen to you after egusi soup. Yes, my narc ex portrayed those traits, that wife material characteristics, godly and prayerful, dress decent and act same. Do not be deceived, they know that is what you want in a woman so they give it to you for the while.

They will always talk about forever with you, bring so many fairly tails and give you the soul mate feeling, this you will believe you have found a wife or a husband, then you start making marriage's preparation. They have successfully made you commit. Mine always use this word "forever is the goal". All these is to make you commit and when you have committed, they start the abuse stage.

The narcissist common aim, be it male or female is to get you trauma bonded to them. Trauma bond is a situation when you excuse abuse from someone, go back to your abuser because you are afraid to lose them. I cannot count the number of times I went back to apologize for doing nothing, that is trauma bond working for her.

The narcissist will never apologize for their wrong at the later part of the relationship, they will do wrong, and expect you to take it, when you try to speak up, they give you the silent treatment as a punishment. Yea,because they have groomed their victims so much through the various love bombing stages. I was given silent treatment every time, and yes,after going a week of waiting to see if she will apologize for her wrong, I end up saying sorry. I was groomed during the earlier days to not do without her.

The narcissist will love bomb you at the early stage of your relationship, this is not genuine love,it is a tactics to get you used to them and whenever you try to leave and think of the past memories, you will have no choice than to run back to them until they are ready to discard you. In my case,she calls every day to check on me, would spend over an hour with me on phone, gave me pet names and showed the world that she truly loved me. Those were all lies.

WHAT WENT WRONG BETWEEN I AND MY NARC EX.

For me, i thought she was the last bus stop, in fact I had been planning how our wedding even though I had limited funds at that time, I was ready to go against anybody just to wed my soulmate. But then, this problem keep coming. I felt someone was trying to control me, someone was doing wrong and do not apologize. We kept fighting almost every week, and yes, I kept apologising.

Early this year, I called her to discuss marriage plan, she disagreed with everything and went completely mute, I called the next day to resolve and ask for her opinion, she still went mute, the silent treatment increased. I vowed I am done and will not contact her again, went no contact. After two month, I saw her pic somewhere, and since I was trauma bonded to her and didn't heal completely, I went back begging her for over a week. That is was being trauma bond to a narcissist does, it completely makes you their slave.

During the cause of the discard from my narc ex, she knew that I have been trauma bonded to her and the sight of her pic will bring back memories, she used what is called " flying monkeys " to make me see her pics and believe that I will keep rushing back to beg her, because she enjoy all the abuse.

HOW DO YOU KNOW THAT YOU DATING A NARCISSIST; if you do any of those thing I did, you are dating a narcissist.

1. I beg for her attention when she gives silent treatment.
2. I felt like she is just the one.
3. I do not look at any other lady not even a friendly look because all my attention was around her.
4. Her eyes goes dark when she is angry.
5. She shouts and insults to any extent when angry.
6. When she wrongs me and I refuse to call and apologize for reacting, maybe for 5 days or a week, she rages in anger.
7. She belittles me when she is angry, this is a common trait with a narc, male or female.
8. From her story, during our love days, and from my findings her dad is a narc. Pls try and know your lover parent, narc is hereditary.


Did I talk about how I later confirm that my Darling angel was a terrible covert narcissist.

Early this year, I had a neighbor whose 2 years old daughter exhibited the same traits my ex exhibited, the anger, the manipulation, the gaslighing, everything.

Finally, narcissists are demonic, look for these red flags in your relationship and end the relationship the minute you confirm that you date is a narc, there is no changing them, I tried and got hurt. The narc know what he/she is doing.

Narcissism is hereditary and they are born that way, they keep getting worse by the day, so best is to avoid them.

Drops pen.

Can a narcissist have a happy marriage?

https://www.psychologytoday.com

Emmy000seun:
What about the situation you have married and have kids together before realizing this traits in other partner??

Unfortunately, the answer is almost always “no.” The photos and the couple’s public behavior show one thing, while something much less appealing is going on behind the scenes. Once past the courtship stage, all the relationships where one person has a narcissistic personality disorder include some form of abuse and a great deal of tension. As not all people with narcissistic personality disorder are alike, each couple will have their own form of misery. However, this misery follows a fairly predictable pattern.

Narcissistic partners usually pick fights over trivial matters, verbally insult their spouses, and tend to be intrusive and controlling. They often say and do very hurtful things. In some of these happy looking couples, the spouse of the narcissist is being physical abused and is hiding the bruises with clothing or makeup. Even if nothing overtly terrible is going on, most narcissists feel free to ignore their spouse’s requests and “forget” to honor any promises they made that are no longer convenient for them—such as their marital vow to be faithful or their promise to come home early for dinner.

If the non-narcissistic partner tries to have a rational conversation about what feels unfair, the narcissist is likely to become furious. People with narcissistic personality disorder are generally unwilling to accept any responsibility for anything that they are doing that makes their spouse unhappy. They may lie, twist the truth, rewrite history, or shift the blame and present themselves as the real victim. Whatever they want in the moment is usually more important to them than the actual truth or their mate’s happiness.

Note: I am using the terms narcissist and narcissistic as a shorthand way to describe people who qualify for a diagnosis of narcissistic personality disorder.

Heal so that you don't even care about them anymore instead of whining about them every day. They are clearly living rent free in your head which is their main goal. They should be your bit.ch by now, that is if you have really redpilled as you claim lol

Note: Some people can manage and live well with Narcissists, while some can't. It all comes down to your level of tolerance . But then it has been proven that Narcissists can never change, although some can become better and more self aware during the latter stage of their life. These days I barely condemn them because I see them as folks that needs help because in truth, they really do. That is when your empathy comes to play. Remember a narcissists mustn't be an Ex, they can siblings, collegues, church members. The question is, will you go on and condemn every difficult person in your life? In the end they all want three things, power, attention and control. It is like a drug. They should fascinate you instead of triggering you. You should start watching Psychological series to understand human behavioral patterns. Trust me it's nothing personal, it's just nature.

I really appreciate your wide explanation, but you haven't touched my question..I said what can someone do if already entangle with such a person as wife with kids involved before realizing that?? What will you suggest??

Brandiebird:
Can a narcissist have a happy marriage?

https://www.psychologytoday.com



Unfortunately, the answer is almost always “no.” The photos and the couple’s public behavior show one thing, while something much less appealing is going on behind the scenes. Once past the courtship stage, all the relationships where one person has a narcissistic personality disorder include some form of abuse and a great deal of tension. As not all people with narcissistic personality disorder are alike, each couple will have their own form of misery. However, this misery follows a fairly predictable pattern.

Narcissistic partners usually pick fights over trivial matters, verbally insult their spouses, and tend to be intrusive and controlling. They often say and do very hurtful things. In some of these happy looking couples, the spouse of the narcissist is being physical abused and is hiding the bruises with clothing or makeup. Even if nothing overtly terrible is going on, most narcissists feel free to ignore their spouse’s requests and “forget” to honor any promises they made that are no longer convenient for them—such as their marital vow to be faithful or their promise to come home early for dinner.

If the non-narcissistic partner tries to have a rational conversation about what feels unfair, the narcissist is likely to become furious. People with narcissistic personality disorder are generally unwilling to accept any responsibility for anything that they are doing that makes their spouse unhappy. They may lie, twist the truth, rewrite history, or shift the blame and present themselves as the real victim. Whatever they want in the moment is usually more important to them than the actual truth or their mate’s happiness.

Note: I am using the terms narcissist and narcissistic as a shorthand way to describe people who qualify for a diagnosis of narcissistic personality disorder.

Emmy000seun:
I really appreciate your wide explanation, but you haven't touched my question..I said what can someone do if already entangle with such a person as wife with kids involved before realizing that?? What will you suggest??

If you read the article you will see that they will never change until they are uncomfortable with the consequences (people leaving them, people distancing themselves from them and, relationships breaking down around them) of their disorder.

They will only change for themselves and never their relationships. The children will become victims and later they will learn and model the narcs behaviour or become damaged by them.

The partner who isn’t narcissistic will suffer greatly. They can either leave and enjoy life or they can endure and await their rewards from God. The chances of the non-narc in the relationship dying early is very high, either from the narc attacking them (killing them) or from high blood pressure and stress related issues/diseases.