You may be partly right here with your writing defense, But I also think thereare other factors you didn't add up here. It would take married peeps with quite some good years of experience to relate with. If you still have legal or traditional issues you battle with or you and your spouse still dey throw punches here and there over rights of the way in naija,you will need to re consider moving abroad or just peg it down until you two are able to out grow such attitudes. Our Africans will still keep having this 'RIGHTS' issues untill we start understanding that times and tides are fast changing and a quick one at that.We are no longer in the era of "I AM D MAN AND YOU MUST OBEY AS I COMMAND"!! THIS ideas and mentality can never work once such a family leave the shores of this nation to Europe. Then secondly :we still have ladies who are couvetous and greedy all over ,most women crash their marriages due to this factor,you will agree with me that most women have this 'selfish nature'(I want to see it as embedded a Natural design)"so a woman can set up her man even for finding another man who she sees as better than the one that brought her up.Thays the norm in Nigeria ,we see women who dissed their men of years despite all his labor on her so as to make her a better person.if such kind of woman gets abroad she would do same.But I still want to majorly subscribe to this fact; our men must fully plan their homes before leaving or jappa as called, else most men would end up sleeping on the streets of oyibo man's land with no one to attend to them.This mentality of being the BOSS is what most women abroad hate and would forever fight.

uthompson2001:
People truly write rubbish online.Please do not believe all you read online. I live abroad and the biggest reason women leave men is because of:
1. Men still want to be cheating the same way as back home.
2. Men dont want to help out at home cause they still feel like alpha but they forget there is no house help.
3. The most common, is men leave women to pay all the bills at home as they are too proud to do small jobs before the big jobs cone.

Sanchez01:

Lol! Stop with the assumptions. I’m married and living in the US. Our traditional mindset on marriages as Africans and Nigerians are pretty outdated. I know a couple currently having issues in their marriage because this bush guy married the wife early before they both came down here and still want to impose his bush behavior on her. She’s presently studying for nursing and already rebelling against her husband. Except the woman is a terrible person naturally, most cases of divorce concerning Nigerians in diaspora are mostly as a result of the men’s mindset.

As far as marriage is concerned, in Nigeria or in diaspora, no woman will take her modern, supportive husband for granted, except it’s village people. I know there are some demonic women who just want to destroy all their husband worked and labored for but you can’t possibly tell me every Nigerian woman who push for divorce is bad.

Ednut is the only person on point on this thread, at least, based on what I read on the first page. This thread is nothing but half truth and not the flex you all think it is.

If you have a traditional mindset as a man and you’re stuck in your ways, with no room to adapt, by all means DO NOT JAPA WITH YOUR WIFE. If you do, she’ll dump you like a bag of hot potatoes.

@ bolded: Before!

Na from clap we dey enter dance.
Most men see d red flags in their woman b4 shooking head all bcus of infatuation. The signs are always there!

Me o, I'm traditional and cultural to d core, and it will never even happen in d first place say I marry somebody wey 'submission' na 'slavery' for her dictionary.

That na (one of d reasons) why I never marry, and I had rather stay this way till eternity than for a 'bleeder' to mess my life up all because she carry pucci.
Make everybody dey dia dey in peace Biko.

shadrach77:

What is red pill?

Just go to the redpill thread on romance section and start from page 1

1Sharon:
That's the exact reason why they are also killing their wives. They come to the West and feel emasculated, inadequate and insecure.

They end up taking their anger out on the easy target: their wife.

Alot of African women in the West are more successful than the men, but in Nigeria reverse is the case.

Please, where is this statistics coming from?

ednut1:
There is one major characteristic of those men. They used money to entice the woman in Nigeria. You are a 29 years old man doing well, na 19 years old babe you go date or marry. Sponsor her through school, pay her parents rent and siblings bills. Now the bad part- emotionally and physical abuse, her opinions don’t matter, during NYSC you quickly marry and give her belle and prevent her getting a career. you know she cant leave because she is dependent on you.

But when you reach abroad, she can enter lucrative fields like nursing and tech. Starts earning good money and contributing to the bills. With her workload, child care . Many Nigerian men refuse to adjust to the realities and demand she cooks, does all the chores like in Nigeria. You still carry cheating come abroad. With time she begins to see there is no need for you and sends you packing. Many times its payback for patriarchy in Nigeria. Marriages where the man was a good man in Nigeria mostly still waxing strong abroad.

You are a fucking liar. Woman way good don good simple. Stop blabbing.

BigBashiru:


The reason women leave men after they go abroad is because marriage is not necessary abroad....the woman is given money by government, the police are responsive, what do you need marriage for??

Exactly

hkidola00:
omo i get chill reading this, what do you say we men do

Be with a woman who chooses and listens to you. Maintain your frame and vet her properly before making her your wife!!!

This is irrelevant and untrue
Lots of African women go abroad and prefer Nigerian men to their own men
It’s simply the orientation of greed in the average Nigerian girl, she wants everything
The same man she rejected will be accepted by richer and more independent women from other countries.

If you don’t know Nigerian men are superstars in South Africa for the women, one of the most successful subsets of immigrants in the United States. So if you’re super successful, but your women want to leave you once you take them abroad, how do you justify your argument if they are jobbing doctors and co?


If you don’t know some of these women have strategized from Naija before he even finishes filing for her papers. They’ve discussed with their friends how to do it. Filipino women will marry old men and stay with them and have kids for a very long time. Kenyans are looking for Naija men abroad with prayers

You don’t know what corruption and a deprived societal value has done to Nigerian women

So you know, most of these women eventually regret their actions once they find out they threw away an asset. If you don’t know most western cultures don’t have men paying all the bills. It’s a traditional and Nigerian value not found everywhere

Infact the women are not leaving the poorer guys but the ones they can divorce and get his house, car and child support

Divorce akata and see. Some have 3 baby mamas with 7 kids. Your child support no go pass $20

Sanchez01:

Lol! Stop with the assumptions. I’m married and living in the US. Our traditional mindset on marriages as Africans and Nigerians are pretty outdated. I know a couple currently having issues in their marriage because this bush guy married the wife early before they both came down here and still want to impose his bush behavior on her. She’s presently studying for nursing and already rebelling against her husband. Except the woman is a terrible person naturally, most cases of divorce concerning Nigerians in diaspora are mostly as a result of the men’s mindset.

As far as marriage is concerned, in Nigeria or in diaspora, no woman will take her modern, supportive husband for granted, except it’s village people. I know there are some demonic women who just want to destroy all their husband worked and labored for but you can’t possibly tell me every Nigerian woman who push for divorce is bad.

Ednut is the only person on point on this thread, at least, based on what I read on the first page. This thread is nothing but half truth and not the flex you all think it is.

If you have a traditional mindset as a man and you’re stuck in your ways, with no room to adapt, by all means DO NOT JAPA WITH YOUR WIFE. If you do, she’ll dump you like a bag of hot potatoes.

please can you share what Modern man should be doing for the wive to stay with him I'm curious to know the difference between modern man and the other type of man please

ednut1:
There is one major characteristic of those men. They used money to entice the woman in Nigeria. You are a 29 years old man doing well, na 19 years old babe you go date or marry. Sponsor her through school, pay her parents rent and siblings bills. Now the bad part- emotionally and physical abuse, her opinions don’t matter, during NYSC you quickly marry and give her belle and prevent her getting a career. you know she cant leave because she is dependent on you.

But when you reach abroad, she can enter lucrative fields like nursing and tech. Starts earning good money and contributing to the bills. With her workload, child care . Many Nigerian men refuse to adjust to the realities and demand she cooks, does all the chores like in Nigeria. You still carry cheating come abroad. With time she begins to see there is no need for you and sends you packing. Many times its payback for patriarchy in Nigeria. Marriages where the man was a good man in Nigeria mostly still waxing strong abroad.

I needed to quote this.
Thank you for the submission.

When I travelled out of Nigeria and started working, I met some Nigerian guys along the line of my job and it happened they will take order from me and equally report to me.
What I saw was shocking.
No other black African guy not to talk of other races looked and talked down on me like my brothers. Brothers I defend at work, help behind their back?

At a point,I said enough and started treating them like I should have done at first and I never regretted it.

luminouz:
See the lives of Nigerian women. Small freedom they turn King Kong for husband.


This is why the redpill is vital for men. Vet, vet and vet her and let her greenlight your ass before you tie the knot so you don't become a poverty alleviation program for a woman.

Many married men in the UK are crying as we speak. I have counseled 7 whose wives turned viragoes because they have started earning money and so they can party and come home late and husband must not talk. One woman threatened to report her husband because she came home late and her husband complained. The next morning, his son looked mournfully at him and said 'Daddy, mummy doesn't love you. I overheard her and her friends discussing how you will suffer'. He almost bought himself a gun to shoot her till I counseled him. This was a woman he trained through nursing school after marrying her.

Is it a wonder why the cases of men killing their women abroad is on the rise? Nope. Infact I expect it to keep rising given the 2020-2023 Japan rush many couples undertook.

N.B: Why is it that when a man makes money, the next thing society wants is for him to get married. Almost everyone in his life will egg him on to have a wife and be 'responsible' but when a woman has money, she believes she doesn't need a man and starts behaving like a Bantu witch to her husband and society goes 'you are an independent woman who needs no man'. What's with money, status and a little bit of freedom that make these naija women lose it? Na poverty mindset or myopic mentality?

N.B: One dude in Scotland,UK committed suicide just two weeks ago. His lawfully wedded wife was caught shagging his friend. He, as the dependant, was working three shifts to support the wife's education, despite knowing she cheats. The last straw was two weeks ago when she served him divorce papers. They entered the UK in April.

Should I still continue? Cases boku for my hand. Men, lemme say it again. Swallow the redpill, ingest it, love it,kiss it, caress it, fuq it and LIVE IT. The day you stop being an Alpha and lose your frame, is the day you die. You already started life two goals down as a man. No one gives a shit about you till you make it. Infact, there is nothing you are loved for if not your usefulness. To make it and still fall into the hands of a leech as a wife/gf is a double-triple-combo suffering I won't wish on any man.

STAY PILLED OR DIE!!!

Why don't you leave her in Nigeria. Most Nigerian men are the cause of their problems

GloriousGbola:







oddly specific
the real reasons for my mans reverse japa
i always knew you were a pussy. emasculated british nigga ran to naija so he could know what it feels like to be a man

It's insecurity. Nothing more.

FireUpNow:
Women get puffed up with little power and opportunity. Especially African women.

Don't marry African woman please.

vickydevoka:

Why don't you leave her in Nigeria. Most Nigerian men are the cause of their problems

Leave her in Nigeria and if she happens to find herself a sickcock in Nigeria same way you find yourself a sidechick on the other side, una go still complain.

The thing I see, and a reality most people are yet to catch up to, is that society empowers the women to become more successful than the man today. And this I believe is by design. When you empower the woman to become more successful than the man, you'll destroy the family, and this is happening everywhere.

Anyone who is in tech with foreign funding can relate very well. It's all about inclusiveness, and that simply means keeping the man steady as the woman catches up and overtakes. Equity is a dangerous concept. We continue to take from the male child to empower the female child, and them wonder why women are advancing .

Men are serial winners. Every notable invention in the world, they invented it. But upon maturity, the establishment treat these men as evil forcing them to put women priority ahead of the men.

Just look around and check all the empowerment programs, funds, grants, scholarships and many more dedicated to women. Yet , not a single financial program is exclusively dedicated to men. And this new ideology is worse in Europe.

The reason men still lead is just because men are better in engineering, tech, working harder, competing... The weak man has no place in the world ... The establishment will eat him up.

Magnoliaa:


I do not know the dynamics of those marriages as intimately as ednut has put it; infact, I have just learnt from his opinion. And based on your judgment, and the likes and comments agreeing with him, I have to take it as the solemn truth.

So...

The grace of the Lord Jesus Christ,
.
.
.
.
.
Be with us now and forever more. Amen.

*proceeds to sing recessional hymn as members of forum file outside the church's santuary*. 🤣🤣

It is the truth in most cases and even the men know it. They know their wives are not happy with them here, but they also know she is incapacitated to leave. Nigerian men do not care about the quality of the marriage. They just want to own the woman, while she ENDURES. They know the truth.

GboyegaD:


Please, where is this statistics coming from?

No stats. Observational reality.

Why do you think single Nigerian men come to the West and get sex starved? It's because they aren't able use money to control women. Because they already have their own.

Your written bullshit and attempt to discredit and castigate japa is horrible.. Let who wan travel travel..
First and foremost, not everyone who japa or live abroad do shitty jobs, I for one, has oyinbo people working under me for the past 8 years n counting in Finland..
A yoruba lady, I won't write her here, head one of the biggest healthcare company in Helsinki..(mind you, she wasn't born here, actually did first degree in Ife)
I know few Nigerians who own Companies n employ Finnish people( igbo n yoruba extraction) . If people can achieve these in non English speaking country, I believe dey do better in UK, USA etc.
Now to your question, nothing like de emasculation or de masculinity, the truth is this, as everyone knows, abroad gives women power, in fact the ratio is 60 percent for women n 40 percent for men, however, oyinbo wey get country, this does not make thier women go crazy. this is not a problem for them as this how thier life as always been.However, nigerian!/African women who the reverse was the case before in Nigeria(where men hold sway over everything) are suddenly expose to these rights n power, they go crazy n throw family values through the window. Also those no good women who have abroad for eternity will enlighten these women on their power play rights etc
This is manly responsible for the divorced rate after first few years living abroad.. It has nothing to do with job.. You guys should stop spilling these rubbish.. Less. I forget, if u are bringing your wife abroad, avoid Nigerian churches like the Redeem etc. If not ur marriage go end in one year.. Religious folks can come for me.

sukkot:
So guys we need to understand that women are drawn to protectors and alpha and strong men. It is how they are wired.

Something happens to a Nigerian man when he gets abroad and the women notice it. The man gets emasculated by society.

He goes from being a strong figure of authority in Africa to an unwanted disrespected black man in the west.

Even a 17 year old white boy on the job can almost slap that 40 year old naija man on the job and he will be shaking and calling the 17 year old boy, Sir.

The man is emasculated by society. Goes from being an alpha dog in naija to a puppy in the west.

Our women sense these things and to a woman if you are not an alpha dog you are just useless.

You start emptying the trash and making breakfast and washing dishes now as the man. Jobs that you used to hire maids to do for you in naija.

Not only can a 17 year old white boy disrespect you on the job but you are now a dishwasher at home. You have no value in society.

Anywhere you turn up you are not celebrated but tolerated.

After a while the woman starts to see that this guy is truly worthless to me, why do I need to coexist with this emasculated societal reject ?

I am better off by myself and I can get a better job than him here as a nurse.

He has become a burden to me.

This is why most women chase their husbands away from home after they both relocate abroad

Kobojunkiee:
Leave her in Nigeria and if she happens to find herself a sickcock in Nigeria same way you find yourself a sidechick on the other side, una go still complain.

Most Igbo men no de ever bring their partner come europ until kids are a bit grown. All my friends dad then where in Europe but their dad do visit.
Men should know that in Europe a woman Will cheap more than Nigeria. I know how many married men my guy the fk for UK.
Most UK boys will make money the next thing na to carry woman come UK. No savings , no plan , nothing nothing. Na make woman come hustle complete your school fees.
Everyone has priority in life. Me na billionaire I want be. If na woman be your priority follow.

luminouz:


Be with a woman who chooses and listens to you. Maintain your frame and vet her properly before making her your wife!!!

You are on point, but majority of us (men) allow ourselves to be blinded by beauty and d 'food' we wan chop.
If a man doesn't allow himself to be blinded by these 2, and he doesn't throw money around her such that she pretends to be submissive, it will be hard to fall into their trap.

vickydevoka:

Why don't you leave her in Nigeria. Most Nigerian men are the cause of their problems

The right question shd be "why did u marry a jezebel in d 1st place?"

If u play ur cards well and don't allow urself to be carried away by d beauty/ 'food', u won't fall!
A cantankerous woman in Nigeira cannot become docile/submissive in new york.
Impossicant.......it will only get worse.

Some woke Nigerian married women don't wait for relocation abroad before they throw you out. Once they have one or two kids, they feel the man is a problem and they run away from their marriage with the kids.

Woke women won't respect you whether home or abroad.

vickydevoka:

Why don't you leave her in Nigeria. Most Nigerian men are the cause of their problems

Before I marry anyone ... Trust me I would have really dealt with her and trained her to my taste. She would have seen me at my worst and STAYED. So New York won't be an issue with her.

Or I wouldn't marry her in the first place.

letout:


If it’s about emptying the trash, washing plates, cooking food, cleaning the house I do that from time to time on a regular basis and my wife hasn’t left me, and we are in Nigeria

The reason why the women left is because Nigerian men used the society to control their wives period.

I like your style jare. When they ask you what you bring to the table as a man apart from money, those are valid things. I have said it from when I was young that I don't agree with the saying that "all women want is money". If that is true, women will never cheat on wealthy guys or even leave them totally. Leadership is very important. period.

It's simple, they now have access to finance and money gives you options!

So the men must behave!

Sanchez01:

Lol! Stop with the assumptions. I’m married and living in the US. Our traditional mindset on marriages as Africans and Nigerians are pretty outdated. I know a couple currently having issues in their marriage because this bush guy married the wife early before they both came down here and still want to impose his bush behavior on her. She’s presently studying for nursing and already rebelling against her husband. Except the woman is a terrible person naturally, most cases of divorce concerning Nigerians in diaspora are mostly as a result of the men’s mindset.

As far as marriage is concerned, in Nigeria or in diaspora, no woman will take her modern, supportive husband for granted, except it’s village people. I know there are some demonic women who just want to destroy all their husband worked and labored for but you can’t possibly tell me every Nigerian woman who push for divorce is bad.

Ednut is the only person on point on this thread, at least, based on what I read on the first page. This thread is nothing but half truth and not the flex you all think it is.

If you have a traditional mindset as a man and you’re stuck in your ways, with no room to adapt, by all means DO NOT JAPA WITH YOUR WIFE. If you do, she’ll dump you like a bag of hot potatoes.

I guess you are one of those men who thinks they are safe from the sinister machinations of women who are under the influence that they can do without the man.
There are innumerable tales of men like you and how they ended up eating back their words. Women are emotionally malleable and are good baits for the propaganda machine. They spare no one once the switch flips in their head.

BrazilianOG:
Your fvckin gender always trying to play the victim

Are you trying to make excuses for murder?

luminouz:

Before I marry anyone ... Trust me I would have really dealt with her and trained her to my taste. She would have seen me at my worst and STAYED. So New York won't be an issue with her.

Or I wouldn't marry her in the first place.

Better remain in Nigeria with her. If you leave her here alone, she'll have a side dude just like you will have abroad.

If you go with her.... well... you'll end up in jail or dead with this mentally!

YelloweWest:

Better remain in Nigeria with her. If you leave her here alone, she'll have a side dude just like you will have abroad.

If you go with her.... well... you'll end up in jail or dead with this mentally!

I'm a redpiller, you are a pūssy!!!

We are not on the same wavelength....

Nkogheri

ednut1:

But when you reach abroad, she can enter lucrative fields like nursing and tech. Starts earning good money and contributing to the bills. With her workload, child care . Many Nigerian men refuse to adjust to the realities and demand she cooks, does all the chores like in Nigeria. You still carry cheating come abroad. With time she begins to see there is no need for you and sends you packing. Many times its payback for patriarchy in Nigeria. Marriages where the man was a good man in Nigeria mostly still waxing strong abroad.

Gbam, for this your quote right here eh 👆, wisdom will never depart from you.

This is the crux of the matter. If you treat your wife like crap in the name of Patriarchy, better remain in that Naija. No be curse oh but as soon as you touch down in the Abroad, your wife will be planning how to treat your f up. Women have very long memories, can bear grudges and hardly forget even if they tell you they’ve forgiven you.

Having said that, all those sweet good men like my own husband have nothing to fear in the abroad as women like me will ride and die with them, both home and abroad even if our money long pass Atlantic Ocean.

zanebaddo:
please can you share what Modern man should be doing for the wive to stay with him I'm curious to know the difference between modern man and the other type of man please

Not like the rules are written in stones. Modern men are just pretty much the opposite of what a traditional man is. The major thing worthy of note is consideration; seeing the woman you married as someone you're meant to love, not just to provide for and as a human and not as a trophy or prize you bought.

If you think about everything a traditional man represents, then the direct opposite is a modern man, particularly when it comes to how they see their wife, marriage, and family in general.