NikoDeBonAmi:
These days we see a lot of people saying at a certain age they are suppose to move out of their parents house. We even see were people attack others for still staying with their parents and thinking of marriage.

If your parents have a big and comfortable home were you stay and then you have a good job or flowing business in that same city or town, what is wrong to remain in your parents home and get married there especially when they are very happy for you to always be around them with your own family.

I will just highlight the points for your because if I start explaining them the story go long.

1) Privacy
2) loss of Respect and value
3) headship
4) financial burden
5) Family disagreements etc...

Everything .

I don tire for Nairaland debates. They go nowhere at the end of the day.

ZIMDRILL:


Every woman wants her own kitchen, decoration etc

Every woman wants a house that accomodates relatives including her own

Every woman wants to built what is hers and the children not what drags family relatives


Living with in mother and father in law's house makes it difficult for woman to do that

In simple terms your growth and freedom is limited, when living under someone's roof. Have your own roof where you direct and call shoots

Una just like dey carry wahala for head... I don't see any wrong there ... If one knows what he Is doing no big deal... From there one will move to his own house... Something my friend did recently... After two children ... Who dey pursue una ...

Some women just wait on their husband to tell them what to do b4 they spring to action. I know some women that save the much they can and gradually buy home items without waiting for bulk money from the husband. What I am saying is that the mother inlaw would have giving her the necessary experience to build a gome

Ahmed0336:
There's nothing wrong with it but I WILL NEVER TRY THAT OR ALLOW MY CHILDREN TRY THAT NONSENSE WITH ME.

I don't understand Nigerians.

You justify accumulating wealth for your "unborn children". Even have a guy here who touted it as his primary reason for migration and made a lot of noise using that line.

You mean the better life he claims he wants for himself and his children/lineage, they should leave his house and that good life to get theirs? What was he searching for and accumulating wealth for? Then when he dies what will become of his house using that logic? Was it not gotten for his "unborn children"?

This is unsustainable not only for the environment, but in every other way. This is why there are haunted houses just sitting there. And this is why Nigerians are corrupt. The mentality is so consumerist it doesn't make sense.

Africans are truly dark minded.

NikoDeBonAmi:
These days we see a lot of people saying at a certain age they are suppose to move out of their parents house. We even see were people attack others for still staying with their parents and thinking of marriage.

If your parents have a big and comfortable home were you stay and then you have a good job or flowing business in that same city or town, what is wrong to remain in your parents home and get married there especially when they are very happy for you to always be around them with your own family.

Please wise up. Anyone who always stays under the shade of his family tree, will never plant his own.
Your authority as a married man is limited, even that of your wife.

finallybusy:
I don tire for Nairaland debates. They go nowhere at the end of the day.

And everyday it's the same topic.

If you are happy to continue to be treated like a child then continue but know that you are likely to loose respect from your wife and children since they will continue to approach the parents in the house which is not you.

jmoore:
If nobody is pursing you and your parents house is close to were you work, please remain in your father's house.

I saw many people lamenting about house rent in one thread like that.

Ignore people's opinion. They are not the one feeding you.

I will only leave my father's house when I have enough money to build a better house.

If they feel uncomfortable, let them start paying their parents the rent instead of giving outsiders

Nice2023:
No woman should ever stay in such a home.

It wouldn't be long before ur mother in law will tag u a witch,there must always be friction between them.

But in all,I don't wish any woman such a trap as home.

Exactly. You said it the way it is. I was in this position too No matter how great your mil and wife are,there would be issues. Trust me. Living with your wife is your parents house is wrong.

rentAcock:
Absolutely nothing wrong with it, as a matter of fact, that's what I did. I got married and lived in the same house with my parents and siblings. While living with them, I was saving massively. My wife and I went back to school as well and got masters degrees. We had no kids for the 3 years we lived there so it was manageable. This allowed us to save enough money to build our own house without any debts. So it is financially wise to live in your parents house while married. You get to know each other more, it strengthens the bond between your wife and her inlaws and there's this sense of appreciation you have when you finally get your own place.

How did you do this without being the one , providing for everyone in the house, doing repairs for the house and it's equipments.

Nice2023:
No woman should ever stay in such a home.

It wouldn't be long before ur mother in law will tag u a witch,there must always be friction between them.

But in all,I don't wish any woman such a trap as home.

The Same advise you give to women not to take is same thing women do , how many men live with their families? Go round the houses of married people whose relatives will you see around the home the wives or the husbands?

I guess you know the answer is the wives, what you advice the women not to take is actually what the women do the most and what men take this is hypocrisy at it's peak.

Women shouldn't be trapped but they can trap men by filling the home of the man with their relatives?

For me anywhere that will bring peace and harmony in the family should be encouraged, if the man has no house of his own or his finances hasn't gotten to the stage of acquiring his own personal income no one should pile up pressure on him to relocate if their is a comfortable housing for him and his family. If you can't contribute to ease the stress on a man don't pile up new pressures on him.

There is no single rule to achieving harmony at home, my only problem with most women is that what they cry foul of (probably caused by them) is what they are guilty of, the hypocrisy is mind blowing.

Everything is wrong. If you cannot leave, do not cleave. One comes before the other.

If you are too young to leave, then you are too young to cleave.

Nice2023:
No woman should ever stay in such a home.

It wouldn't be long before ur mother in law will tag u a witch,there must always be friction between them.

But in all,I don't wish any woman such a trap as home.

That's a one sided perspective

LEARNPYTHON:

This is a sensible submission and beautifully written too 👍
However, what if your parents' abode is not a sprawling palace nor do you have any sort of business nearby; basically, your decision to stay with them after marriage is based on financial reasons. But your parents don't mind— at least they show no sign to suggest otherwise. Would it still be fine to stay with them ?
Also, is your submission based on experience or just what you feel/understand is appropriate to do under the circumstances ?

Financial reasons for living with your parents after marriage are perfectly valid. However, painting it solely in this light risks overlooking the potential emotional tapestry woven into the decision. Perhaps you just cherish the closeness, enjoy the free babysitting (ahem, grandparental bonding), or simply revel in the delicious aroma of your mother's legendary pepper soup wafting through the halls. Love, convenience, and tradition all play on life's stage, not just the cold, hard cash.

Your post also implies that parental disapproval lurks beneath the surface, even if unseen. But is that truly the case? Open communication, not assumptions, is the key to unlocking understanding. Perhaps your parents, wise souls they are, recognize your current situation and offer their support, financial or otherwise, with open arms (and maybe an extra plate of pepper soup). Every individual experiences situations differently, and what constitutes "fine" for one might be a recipe for disaster for another. Introspection and honest conversations with your loved ones are your guiding lights here.

Now, to your final inquiry: my response stems from a potent blend of experience, observation, and a healthy dose of philosophical musing. Having witnessed countless relationships navigate the complexities of living arrangements, I've gleaned valuable insights. But ultimately, my role here is not to dictate but to illuminate, to offer perspectives and challenge assumptions. The tapestry of your life is yours to weave, and the decision of where to lay your head rests with you and your partner.

haybhi1:


Your writing style is superb, your opinion is great. Are you single?😉😉 Can we mingle? Together, we could be useful? Isn't that cool? 'Cos I'm some cool dude😎😎

Flattery will get you everywhere, they say, but unfortunately, "everywhere" in this case doesn't include my dating pool. As much as I appreciate the offer to "mingle" and become a "useful" duo, your emoji game is a little strong for my current emotional bandwidth. It's like staring into the sun of romance, and frankly, my retinas can only handle so much sparkle.

Now, if you're offering to be my wingman and point me towards someone with a more subtle emoji vocabulary, then we might be cookin' with gas (or should I say, "fire" with the appropriate emoji?). But otherwise, I'm afraid I'll have to politely decline your invitation to become the next Bonnie and Clyde... of awkward online flirting.

But hey, don't let me discourage you! There's a whole world of potential partners out there, each with their own unique emoji style. Just remember, sometimes less is more, and a well-placed wink can be far more effective than a double chin emoji.

Good luck on your quest for love, emoji warrior! ⚔️

It's only wrong if u have no intension of leaving, on no account should u live there permanently, plan your life and go to your own house after 5 to 6 years

@OP

Everything is wrong with it:

1. Taking advise from a third party without the knowledge of the wife or husband will set in and that will cause gross misunderstanding between the couple.

2. Once there is misunderstanding your parents will take sides with you or vise versa

3. The married will not last sha. It will be ruined within months or years.

4. Don’t ever stay in your parents house when you are married.

I hope that helps?

Africans and witches na 5 and 6.

Na black culture to marry all ur wife relative....lol

Nice2023:
No woman should ever stay in such a home.

It wouldn't be long before ur mother in law will tag u a witch,there must always be friction between them.

But in all,I don't wish any woman such a trap as home.

NikoDeBonAmi:
These days we see a lot of people saying at a certain age they are suppose to move out of their parents house. We even see were people attack others for still staying with their parents and thinking of marriage.

If your parents have a big and comfortable home were you stay and then you have a good job or flowing business in that same city or town, what is wrong to remain in your parents home and get married there especially when they are very happy for you to always be around them with your own family.

It is better to be married in your own parent's house than to be paying rent to a landlord or landlady except you have built your own house. To pay rent no easy.

oloritunmmy:
Everything is wrong. If you cannot leave, do not cleave. One comes before the other.

If you are too young to leave, then you are too young to cleave.

Una just dey misinterprete bible anyhow.
In the bible, they were living with their parents.

NikoDeBonAmi:
These days we see a lot of people saying at a certain age they are suppose to move out of their parents house. We even see were people attack others for still staying with their parents and thinking of marriage.

If your parents have a big and comfortable home were you stay and then you have a good job or flowing business in that same city or town, what is wrong to remain in your parents home and get married there especially when they are very happy for you to always be around them with your own family.

Since you want to stay married with your kids in your parent's house ,your kids when they grow can also stay and married in that house since that is the practice.
Even if you have to be there,it should be for awhile with a big plan for your own house.

Nice2023:



Then allow ur sister to marry into such a family. U will know why most ladies avoid such place.

Name the ladies u know and give us their contacts u think it's by lying.

Abeg shut up.
He just gave you his reasoning and you are still ranting.

JessicaRabbit:


Financial reasons for living with your parents after marriage are perfectly valid. However, painting it solely in this light risks overlooking the potential emotional tapestry woven into the decision. Perhaps you just cherish the closeness, enjoy the free babysitting (ahem, grandparental bonding), or simply revel in the delicious aroma of your mother's legendary pepper soup wafting through the halls. Love, convenience, and tradition all play on life's stage, not just the cold, hard cash.

Your post also implies that parental disapproval lurks beneath the surface, even if unseen. But is that truly the case? Open communication, not assumptions, is the key to unlocking understanding. Perhaps your parents, wise souls they are, recognize your current situation and offer their support, financial or otherwise, with open arms (and maybe an extra plate of pepper soup). Every individual experiences situations differently, and what constitutes "fine" for one might be a recipe for disaster for another. Introspection and honest conversations with your loved ones are your guiding lights here.

Now, to your final inquiry: my response stems from a potent blend of experience, observation, and a healthy dose of philosophical musing. Having witnessed countless relationships navigate the complexities of living arrangements, I've gleaned valuable insights. But ultimately, my role here is not to dictate but to illuminate, to offer perspectives and challenge assumptions. The tapestry of your life is yours to weave, and the decision of where to lay your head rests with you and your partner.

Your highly impressive writing style together with a high level of intelligence you demonstrated in the points you made makes me keep wondering if you're Chimamanda Adichie 🤔. There's so much sense and food-for-thought in each and every sentence in your response. If you wrote a 1000-paged book, I could read it in a single sitting without getting tired.
The depth and thoroughness of your analysis has led me to make an assumption about you and I would like to know whether I'm right or right: YOU ARE IRRELIGIOUS

NikoDeBonAmi:
These days we see a lot of people saying at a certain age they are suppose to move out of their parents house. We even see were people attack others for still staying with their parents and thinking of marriage.

If your parents have a big and comfortable home were you stay and then you have a good job or flowing business in that same city or town, what is wrong to remain in your parents home and get married there especially when they are very happy for you to always be around them with your own family.

Nothing wrong if you have space
Example... Your father's compound has a separate 1bedroom or two bedroom flat in the compound, what is wrong with using it, while you save to build yours

Ahmed0336:
There's nothing wrong with it but I WILL NEVER TRY THAT OR ALLOW MY CHILDREN TRY THAT NONSENSE WITH ME.

It depends ok! When my elder brother got married, Papa asked him the essence of paying for an apartment when we have a two-story building, he was giving a flat in the house, no interference, no disturbance of any kind. So i said again, it depends ok!

finallybusy:
I don tire for Nairaland debates. They go nowhere at the end of the day.

Where dem wan go b4 na

Nice2023:
No woman should ever stay in such a home.

It wouldn't be long before ur mother in law will tag u a witch,there must always be friction between them.

But in all,I don't wish any woman such a trap as home.

Social media contributed to 75% of breakable home aswear..imagine this comment if gullible ones sees it while they still planning for marriage with their man still living in their parents house, would it not be a problem to their psych

LEARNPYTHON:

Your highly impressive writing style together with a high level of intelligence you demonstrated in the points you made makes me keep wondering if you're Chimamanda Adichie 🤔. There's so much sense and food-for-thought in each and every sentence in your response. If you wrote a 1000-paged book, I could read it in a single sitting without getting tired.
The depth and thoroughness of your analysis has led me to make an assumption about you and I would like to know whether I'm right or right: YOU ARE IRRELIGIOUS

Ahem! (Adjusting monocle and puffing out chest dramatically)

While I'm flattered by your comparison to the illustrious Chimamanda Adichie, I'm afraid I possess neither her wit nor her wisdom. As for your insightful deduction about my religious leanings, let's just say I'm as complex and multifaceted as a choose-your-own-adventure novel set in a theological debate. Perhaps I dabble in the divine like a mischievous cherub, flitting between philosophies and picking the tastiest intellectual morsels. Or maybe I'm an agnostic sphinx, guarding the riddles of existence with a playful paw. Who knows really?

The beauty, however, is that you get to decide. My words are a canvas, and your interpretation is the brushstroke that brings them to life. So, feel free to paint me as irreligious, spiritual, or anything in between. As long as you find my responses thought-provoking and engaging, I've fulfilled my purpose – to be a catalyst for your own intellectual journey.

Remember, the most interesting minds are those that question, explore, and never settle for easy answers.

TeamXola:
@OP

Everything is wrong with it:

1. Taking advise from a third party without the knowledge of the wife or husband will set it and that will cause gross misunderstanding between the couple.

2. Once there is misunderstanding your parents will take sides with you or vise versa

3. The married will not last sha. It will be ruined within months or years.

4. Don’t ever stay in your parents house when you are married.

I hope that helps?

Sense. Those if you asking. Here are some valid reasons

As in, you stayed with your wife and mother under the same roof for 3 years and she no carry belly and your mother is comfortable .
Na understanding o

rentAcock:
Absolutely nothing wrong with it, as a matter of fact, that's what I did. I got married and lived in the same house with my parents and siblings. While living with them, I was saving massively. My wife and I went back to school as well and got masters degrees. We had no kids for the 3 years we lived there so it was manageable. This allowed us to save enough money to build our own house without any debts. So it is financially wise to live in your parents house while married. You get to know each other more, it strengthens the bond between your wife and her inlaws and there's this sense of appreciation you have when you finally get your own place.