What is wrong is the poor man's stereotype idea attached to it. Inherently, there might be personality clash between your mum and wife if it's in the same structure. Especially kitchen duties. Even my mum and sister do disagree on certain things kitchen wise and household arrangements, now imagine a whole foreign lady coming into the picture. This might be the greatest kibosh to me. But if in the same compound but different buildings, omoh it's a win win. A doctor friend is married with two kids and still stays in his Dad's compound. He his doing very well alongside the wife hitherto.

Truvelisback:
It is better to be married in your own parent's house than to be paying rent to a landlord or landlady except you have built your own house. To pay rent no easy.

I don't understand how rent is the problem here, except you want to live above your means, rent is nothing. Let say you make 50k monthly, your rent should be 100k, look for a house of that range and cohabit with your spouse and grow from there.

Our problem is living above our means.

Ahmed0336:
There's nothing wrong with it but I WILL NEVER TRY THAT OR ALLOW MY CHILDREN TRY THAT NONSENSE WITH ME.

See thinking! Chai! Then, in the old age, you will be lamenting why you don't get to see children paying you visits, lol. You haven't even said why you hate it yourself and for your children

LEARNPYTHON:

Your highly impressive writing style together with a high level of intelligence you demonstrated in the points you made makes me keep wondering if you're Chimamanda Adichie

Dem dey use chat GPT to play with your head.

Oracleee:
What is wrong is the poor man's stereotype idea attached to it. Inherently, there might be personality clash between your mum and wife if it's in the same structure. Especially kitchen duties. Even my mum and sister do disagree on certain things kitchen, now imagine a while foreign lady coming into the picture. This might be the greatest kibosh to me. But if in the same compound but different buildings, omoh it's the win win. A doctor friend is married with two kids and still stays in his Dad's compound. He his doing very well alongside the wife hitherto.

Exactly

Nice2023:
No woman should ever stay in such a home.

It wouldn't be long before ur mother in law will tag u a witch,there must always be friction between them.

But in all,I don't wish any woman such a trap as home.

Really? My wife, my mother and I were living together in her husband's house, I got married in there. When I built my house, all of us still moved together with the kids. My wife and mother have have been living together for 12 years, no friction and no one is tagged a witch. Only God knows where you guys always get this notion!

Nice2023:

Then allow ur sister to marry into such a family. U will know why most ladies avoid such place.

Name the ladies u know and give us their contacts u think it's by lying.

And I just quoted you above.
And one more thing, who is running the house between the two: my wife is in the control of how the home is being run

NikoDeBonAmi:
These days we see a lot of people saying at a certain age they are suppose to move out of their parents house. We even see were people attack others for still staying with their parents and thinking of marriage.

If your parents have a big and comfortable home were you stay and then you have a good job or flowing business in that same city or town, what is wrong to remain in your parents home and get married there especially when they are very happy for you to always be around them with your own family.

Mathew 19:4-5-6

JessicaRabbit:
Let me unravel this societal yarn for you. If your parents have a sprawling palace, and you've got a flourishing career nearby, who says you need to flee the nest like a startled pigeon?

Living with your parents doesn't equate to failure; it's a choice, a practical one at that. If the cohabitation vibes are harmonious, and everyone's doing the cha-cha of happiness, why disrupt the rhythm?

Marriage isn't a swift exit strategy from the parental abode; it's a union built on love 💑, respect, and occasionally stealing the TV remote. So, to those wielding judgment like a bludgeon, I say, let people nest where the heart is content, not where society dictates. After all, a house 🏡 is not a home if it's not filled with love, whether it's your own or your parents' overflowing embrace.

I like how you write... nice and fluid

Nice2023:



U brought a topic and u still don't want us to air our opinion.

U are too immature. Is like u are being spoon feed at home and that's why u want to live till u are 60years in ur fathers house.

Be deceiving yourself.

U want to enslave another man's daughter,lazy man.

What a mentality? Wetin u want the Arabs do? Their generations live together despite having money and wealth.

hakeemhakeem:

Don't you knack where you live with your neighbors

In the same house?

JessicaRabbit:
Let me unravel this societal yarn for you. If your parents have a sprawling palace, and you've got a flourishing career nearby, who says you need to flee the nest like a startled pigeon?

Living with your parents doesn't equate to failure; it's a choice, a practical one at that. If the cohabitation vibes are harmonious, and everyone's doing the cha-cha of happiness, why disrupt the rhythm?

Marriage isn't a swift exit strategy from the parental abode; it's a union built on love 💑, respect, and occasionally stealing the TV remote. So, to those wielding judgment like a bludgeon, I say, let people nest where the heart is content, not where society dictates. After all, a house 🏡 is not a home if it's not filled with love, whether it's your own or your parents' overflowing embrace.

Well said.

Tokskob2008:
Everything is wrong with it in this part of the world...

Let's even assume your parents still lived in their own parents house till now how would you feel

If not for anything but for the sake of respect you just have to move out and start your own family on your own turf....

What's wrong in this part of the world or what makes it wrong in this part of the world? We're always too much concerned with the opinions of people about us. We would rather do what people/society expected of us than do what is better and convenient for us. Thank God I don't belong in that class

CatchMeIfUCanMO:

What is this one saying?

Just say that is how they behave in your place and don't generalize.

BitterTruth0001:


This is a very uncouth manner of speaking’.

Do you not have any social etiquettes ?

Mr. Man keep quiet...if u want to be pampered go to ur family house.

Nairaland isn't anyone's family house.

What contribution have u made?...jobless man. Just poking into another person's quote.

ZIMDRILL:


like i said thread was looking at from
the point of being a permanent resident, if it was short he wouldnt open a thread like this becoz we know that you would soon move out

Have you ever realised that most things for free sonr make you wiser.

There are many options if parents die while you live with them, rent out the place let it generate money

Hehe! What's this kind of mindset? Is it a curse to continue living there? Even the Whites are not this too harsh on themselves! Besides, I don't know any culture in Nigeria that forbids it or stigmatise it.

Nazgul:
Your mom and your female siblings wouldn't respect your wife. She won't feel comfortable in that house

Only a desperate woman would marry a man living in his parents house .

Now, I have heard everything.
There is this rich man in our city. Every male child married into his small "estate" at first, they later moved out when they themselves were becoming big men in the society. If you had such a man as a dad, wealthy and loving, it would take you time to finally move your family out

One of world`s Richest families, the Ambani Family (Most expensive House on this planet) and Adani and so many other lives together.
There are millions of middle class families live together, its is considered a prestige.

In Many Asian Family oriented cultures it is considered a shame to live separately.

1Sharon:


Who told you this?? You sabi Indians at all?

JessicaRabbit:


Financial reasons for living with your parents after marriage are perfectly valid. However, painting it solely in this light risks overlooking the potential emotional tapestry woven into the decision. Perhaps you just cherish the closeness, enjoy the free babysitting (ahem, grandparental bonding), or simply revel in the delicious aroma of your mother's legendary pepper soup wafting through the halls. Love, convenience, and tradition all play on life's stage, not just the cold, hard cash.

Your post also implies that parental disapproval lurks beneath the surface, even if unseen. But is that truly the case? Open communication, not assumptions, is the key to unlocking understanding. Perhaps your parents, wise souls they are, recognize your current situation and offer their support, financial or otherwise, with open arms (and maybe an extra plate of pepper soup). Every individual experiences situations differently, and what constitutes "fine" for one might be a recipe for disaster for another. Introspection and honest conversations with your loved ones are your guiding lights here.

Now, to your final inquiry: my response stems from a potent blend of experience, observation, and a healthy dose of philosophical musing. Having witnessed countless relationships navigate the complexities of living arrangements, I've gleaned valuable insights. But ultimately, my role here is not to dictate but to illuminate, to offer perspectives and challenge assumptions. The tapestry of your life is yours to weave, and the decision of where to lay your head rests with you and your partner.

👏👏

Oluwomonext212:
It doesn’t define u as someone responsible or capable of building a home and caring his responsibilities. But if na abroad and ur parents have BQ at the back of the building for u to stay for free, u wouldn’t mind oo, cuz rent is fucking high. We count too many things in naija because life is relatedly cheap, especially rent.

It is wrong if the location is Nigeria but it is okay if the location is abroad, right? Or, may be I didn't catch the sarcasm sha

JessicaRabbit:


Ahem! (Adjusting monocle and puffing out chest dramatically)

While I'm flattered by your comparison to the illustrious Chimamanda Adichie, I'm afraid I possess neither her wit nor her wisdom. As for your insightful deduction about my religious leanings, let's just say I'm as complex and multifaceted as a choose-your-own-adventure novel set in a theological debate. Perhaps I dabble in the divine like a mischievous cherub, flitting between philosophies and picking the tastiest intellectual morsels. Or maybe I'm an agnostic sphinx, guarding the riddles of existence with a playful paw. Who knows really?

The beauty, however, is that you get to decide. My words are a canvas, and your interpretation is the brushstroke that brings them to life. So, feel free to paint me as irreligious, spiritual, or anything in between. As long as you find my responses thought-provoking and engaging, I've fulfilled my purpose – to be a catalyst for your own intellectual journey.

Remember, the most interesting minds are those that question, explore, and never settle for easy answers.

At the bolded, I'm tempted to argue that you're better than her actually.
Your response on your religious leanings confirms my supposition 😊, and it makes me admire you the more. I know it will be difficult for someone with an analytical and philosophical mind like yours to be completely in agreement with an organized religion where there's so much irrationalities that can be observed quite easily.
Are you a writer, professionally ?

Unless you're the first born, apart from that I find it uncomfortable I love privacy.

If all the parties involved are doing well and enjoying themselves without porknose NO WAHALA

LOVE GO STILL DEY THERE AND RESPECT

rentAcock:
Absolutely nothing wrong with it, as a matter of fact, that's what I did. I got married and lived in the same house with my parents and siblings. While living with them, I was saving massively. My wife and I went back to school as well and got masters degrees. We had no kids for the 3 years we lived there so it was manageable. This allowed us to save enough money to build our own house without any debts. So it is financially wise to live in your parents house while married. You get to know each other more, it strengthens the bond between your wife and her inlaws and there's this sense of appreciation you have when you finally get your own place.

People like you make nairaland worth it in your own little way.

NikoDeBonAmi:
These days we see a lot of people saying at a certain age they are suppose to move out of their parents house. We even see were people attack others for still staying with their parents and thinking of marriage.

If your parents have a big and comfortable home were you stay and then you have a good job or flowing business in that same city or town, what is wrong to remain in your parents home and get married there especially when they are very happy for you to always be around them with your own family.

not advisable, for peace and respect

Everything is wrong with it

Everything is wrong with that ideology. You can't make your own rules when you are living in your father's compound even if you have a separate quarters.
You wife is limited, caged can't make her own rules.
If u believe in God, the Bible says a man should leave his father's house and rent his own house. Whether your family is peaceful or holy or good doesn't change God's instruction. The blessings is in following instructions.
Abraham was caged because he lived with his father for 75 years.
Why didn't God bless him in his father's house because his parents are nice people or the siblings are homelyand accommodating.

Am married and i know how much i pay as rent but i don't regret it. I love it every day with zero regrets

God's favor keep showing up every day for me. I am living with my wife and beautiful baby girl

Your patents moved out of their own parents house. Why would your own be any different?

LEARNPYTHON:

At the bolded, I'm tempted to argue that you're better than her actually.

I am flattered, truly! But I still insist that comparing me to Chimamanda Adichie is like pitting a sprightly haiku against a sprawling epic. Thank you for the kind sentiment though!

Your response on your religious leanings confirms my supposition 😊, and it makes me admire you the more.

Again, thanks!

I know it will be difficult for someone with an analytical and philosophical mind like yours to be completely in agreement with an organized religion where there's so much irrationalities that can be observed quite easily.

In spite of the contradictions, the inconsistencies, and the sheer lack of empirical evidence, I wouldn't necessarily place myself in direct opposition to organized religion. It's more of a...fascinated bewilderment, you see? Like watching a particularly flamboyant, yet oddly persistent, game of dress-up from the sidelines.

Are you a writer, professionally ?

Yes, I actually am.

Gbam 👍

Ahmed0336:
There's nothing wrong with it but I WILL NEVER TRY THAT OR ALLOW MY CHILDREN TRY THAT NONSENSE WITH ME.

abi na

jmoore:
If nobody is pursing you and your parents house is close to were you work, please remain in your father's house.

I saw many people lamenting about house rent in one thread like that.

Ignore people's opinion. They are not the one feeding you.

I will only leave my father's house when I have enough money to build a better house.

rentAcock:
Absolutely nothing wrong with it, as a matter of fact, that's what I did. I got married and lived in the same house with my parents and siblings. While living with them, I was saving massively. My wife and I went back to school as well and got masters degrees. We had no kids for the 3 years we lived there so it was manageable. This allowed us to save enough money to build our own house without any debts. So it is financially wise to live in your parents house while married. You get to know each other more, it strengthens the bond between your wife and her inlaws and there's this sense of appreciation you have when you finally get your own place.

You didn't achieve those things because you were living there, after all, how much is rent? You lived there because there was peace and you made the achievement because you and your wife are earning well and prudent in savings

sylve11:

Imagine o

ZIMDRILL:


clearly you missed the point, am sure the thread wasnt talking about it as temporal measure aka living with parent for 5 years while save

The thread is talking about as permant home,

Whether permanent or temporal, it doesn't stop a lady from having her own kitchen, decorations, building her own etc.
Like someone replied you, many married people are living in single room or one bedroom RENTED apartments. If that doesn't restrict them, why or how will occupying a portion of their family house/compound be restrictive?