Welcome, Guest: Register On Nairaland / LOGIN! / Trending / Recent / New
Stats: 3,152,515 members, 7,816,250 topics. Date: Friday, 03 May 2024 at 08:14 AM

How To Handle Life After Divorce - Romance (2) - Nairaland

Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Romance / How To Handle Life After Divorce (1121 Views)

I Got The Shock Of My Life After Visiting My Boyfriend's House To Surprise Him . / Man Runs For His Life After He Was Caught With Another Man's Girlfriend (Video) / Approaching The Beautiful Woman: How To Handle The Pressure Points (2) (3) (4)

(1) (2) (Reply) (Go Down)

Re: How To Handle Life After Divorce by superCleanworks(m): 1:36pm On Mar 03
Meektunz:
Her Dad is late... I've spoken severally to her mum but whenever I complain to the mum on something, she always has a way of defending her.

while trying to find your healing, please & please, avoid alcohol.

on a normal day, i have nothing against people boozing but involving it in a Breakup can turn you into someone you are not. And avoid R&B music 😁 if you don't want to die.

If you can cook, fill up your house with food and cook plenty. Work, eat plenty, sleep for now. You will be fine
Re: How To Handle Life After Divorce by keemsleek(m): 1:44pm On Mar 03
Afodot0022:
It's pathetic you are going through this phase in your life, being divorce can have it's prons and cons depending on the reason the marriage sunk. I am also separated going 2years now and the experience has been somehow. What lead to our divorce was that she cheated, the marriage last 5years with kids and was difficult to move on at first but you gonna be fine and get yourself on track. Be ready for the emotional and psychological pain, emotional rollercoaster, sadness, depression and anger, don't bottle those emotions but rather express them cos you have lost something very valuable that you labor for, it's normal to feel that way. Go for counselling cos you gonna need it, you need to talk to someone to remain sane, get closer to God for insight and direction.
Despite the fact that I have moved on with another lady, I still feel pained and wishes my marriage never crashed cos it's not easy starting a fresh, the thought is killing. Be strong, focus on your hustle to have money cos it will help in your healing and give you the confidence to move on and start again, you gonna be fine laslas but it will take lot of time. To me, you already got kids, if you can take custody of the kids, pls do and focus on them, for now forget about marriage cos the next woman you will end up with might be worst than the one you had, be happy and stay positive, you might be tempted to frolic with and have sex with any woman now cos of the freedom you got, but mind you, you should trend with caution so you won't get damaged.
Avoid drinking , drugs and smoking cos those will look like a succour for you but not gonna be helpful.


That's the price we bear for being divorced, the stigma will always be there. No matter how good u are as a person, life has put a mark on us. We Just accept our fate, and move on if we find happiness in a new partner then be happy, enjoy life, and be grateful to God for meeting a better person but the stigma will always be there. That's the burden we divorcees carry for the rest of our lives. That burden makes us to be a better partner, stay focus and not to make the same mistakes again.
Re: How To Handle Life After Divorce by elipheleh(m): 2:13pm On Mar 03
Meektunz:
So we just got divorced with my wife yesterday after being married for 7years with 3 children.

Please how can one handle the life after divorce such as what neighbors will be saying (gossip), children involed & the depression.

Your inputs will go a long way to help me. Thank you.

The thing is, the first day she packed some of her stuufs from my house to her parents house, nobody called me from her house to ask what the problem is, then yesterday she packed the rest and left with the 3 children and still nobody has called me in her house to know what happened. I'm sure they are all thinking I'll come and beg after w or 3 days.

She will come back. She will beg you in before 14 days time.

But never call her. Completely ignore her family. Do as if you didn't notice anybody left your house.

It once happened to me, I came back from work to find that my wife had left with my son and her things and my house maid.
Me I completely locked up. Never called her, never called her parents or siblings.
My own parents ate alive. When we talk on phone, I always told them my family was fine. If they asked, I say everybody was ok.

So after like 12 days, my wife and her people couldn't endure the quietness again. They kept wondering why I was at peace.
By themselves, they began calling my people and telling them that their daughter left and I didn't care to call them and ask what happened.

Next thing, my best friend called me, my mum called me, dad called me. Everyone was now asking where my wife was. They were all surprised. They beffed me to call my inlaws and reconcile my house. I told them no.

Then I told them that since I didn't chase her away, that she must come back home on her own.

I began giving my wife, her parents much of my own condition. Example: For everyday my wife stated in their place without them calling me the head of the home to ask me what happen, that I am punishing her with 7 days for every single day spent.

So she had stayed 12 days already so I told them I w ok not consider taking them back till after next 12 weeks.

The story long.

The point is stand your ground.
As a man never apologize to anyone when you're right.
Never tolerate insults from your wife or her parents. How dare they tell my wife to come back without my permission?
Punish every act if disobedience, never let go of Bleep ups.
Be ready to let anybody go at all times

4 Likes

Re: How To Handle Life After Divorce by obat(m): 2:31pm On Mar 03
You are not divorced, your wife just packed out of your house to meet her parents. What you have is a quarrel which is very common at your stage of marriage and even at older marriages. It is good occasionally to have some space, it helps to appreciate what you are gaining from each other. I'm sure both of you are experiencing it now.

From your story, you have been married for just 7 years and you have 3 children, you are both under pressure managing the kids, works and finance especially in this economy. Before your wife packed out, you were no longer communicating. Majority of what she said to you were emotional driven and not necessarily rational. With patience, some leve.l of maturity from both of you, you would endure/manage this phase and thereafter enjoy your marriage. DM me personally and let's talk. Many people result to divorce at every little opportunity but this is wrong. Just like you have been thinking, you are unnecessarily exposing the lives of your innocent children by considering divorce.
For now, you can leave her for a week or 2 and thereafter call her. Maturity is dropping your pride to make things work.
Re: How To Handle Life After Divorce by Meektunz: 2:52pm On Mar 03
elipheleh:


She will come back. She will beg you in before 14 days time.

But never call her. Completely ignore her family. Do as if you didn't notice anybody left your house.

It once happened to me, I came back from work to find that my wife had left with my son and her things and my house maid.
Me I completely locked up. Never called her, never called her parents or siblings.
My own parents ate alive. When we talk on phone, I always told them my family was fine. If they asked, I say everybody was ok.

So after like 12 days, my wife and her people couldn't endure the quietness again. They kept wondering why I was at peace.
By themselves, they began calling my people and telling them that their daughter left and I didn't care to call them and ask what happened.

Next thing, my best friend called me, my mum called me, dad called me. Everyone was now asking where my wife was. They were all surprised. They beffed me to call my inlaws and reconcile my house. I told them no.

Then I told them that since I didn't chase her away, that she must come back home on her own.

I began giving my wife, her parents much of my own condition. Example: For everyday my wife stated in their place without them calling me the head of the home to ask me what happen, that I am punishing her with 7 days for every single day spent.

So she had stayed 12 days already so I told them I w ok not consider taking them back till after next 12 weeks.

The story long.

The point is stand your ground.
As a man never apologize to anyone when you're right.
Never tolerate insults from your wife or her parents. How dare they tell my wife to come back without my permission?
Punish every act if disobedience, never let go of Bleep ups.
Be ready to let anybody go at all times
Wao, your story is very interesting to read. Men are really not finding if funny in marriages. You know what annoys me the most? Why must i always be the one to go and apologize whenever we have problem that leads her to going back to her parents' house? I'll always go and beg before her mum allows her to come back to my house.
Re: How To Handle Life After Divorce by Meektunz: 2:58pm On Mar 03
obat:
You are not divorced, your wife just packed out of your house to meet her parents. What you have is a quarrel which is very common at your stage of marriage and even at older marriages. It is good occasionally to have some space, it helps to appreciate what you are gaining from each other. I'm sure both of you are experiencing it now.

From your story, you have been married for just 7 years and you have 3 children, you are both under pressure managing the kids, works and finance especially in this economy. Before your wife packed out, you were no longer communicating. Majority of what she said to you were emotional driven and not necessarily rational. With patience, some leve.l of maturity from both of you, you would endure/manage this phase and thereafter enjoy your marriage. DM me personally and let's talk. Many people result to divorce at every little opportunity but this is wrong. Just like you have been thinking, you are unnecessarily exposing the lives of your innocent children by considering divorce.
For now, you can leave her for a week or 2 and thereafter call her. Maturity is dropping your pride to make things work.
Anytime we have issues and her she packs to her parents house, I'll always be the on to go and beg before the mum allows her to come back to my house. Her family has never come to beg.
Re: How To Handle Life After Divorce by DavidEsq(m): 4:30pm On Mar 03
eazzzy1:
Wait for her to come beg just like she’s waiting on you to come beg. In that time of waiting you will both forget yourselves. 1-2 years from now and nobody has broken the silence you will both assume the other party already moved on.

She will probably keep the kids away from you as a bargaining chip. Depending on the kind of guy you are, you can fight to see your kids and be in their lives or you can just go have other kids.

It's wrong if he tries to have another set of kids, no matter the situation. Just focus on your life, build investments for the kids, even if they would only begin to enjoy it after your death, probably due to the mother's selfish decision of cutting u off them.
Re: How To Handle Life After Divorce by DavidEsq(m): 4:34pm On Mar 03
Afodot0022:
It's pathetic you are going through this phase in your life, being divorce can have it's prons and cons depending on the reason the marriage sunk. I am also separated going 2years now and the experience has been somehow. What lead to our divorce was that she cheated, the marriage last 5years with kids and was difficult to move on at first but you gonna be fine and get yourself on track. Be ready for the emotional and psychological pain, emotional rollercoaster, sadness, depression and anger, don't bottle those emotions but rather express them cos you have lost something very valuable that you labor for, it's normal to feel that way. Go for counselling cos you gonna need it, you need to talk to someone to remain sane, get closer to God for insight and direction.
Despite the fact that I have moved on with another lady, I still feel pained and wishes my marriage never crashed cos it's not easy starting a fresh, the thought is killing. Be strong, focus on your hustle to have money cos it will help in your healing and give you the confidence to move on and start again, you gonna be fine laslas but it will take lot of time. To me, you already got kids, if you can take custody of the kids, pls do and focus on them, for now forget about marriage cos the next woman you will end up with might be worst than the one you had, be happy and stay positive, you might be tempted to frolic with and have sex with any woman now cos of the freedom you got, but mind you, you should trend with caution so you won't get damaged.
Avoid drinking , drugs and smoking cos those will look like a succour for you but not gonna be helpful.
Alaye, u said u have kids but have already moved with ANOTHER WOMAN, yet u are telling him not to do same?
Re: How To Handle Life After Divorce by DavidEsq(m): 4:38pm On Mar 03
elipheleh:


She will come back. She will beg you in before 14 days time.

But never call her. Completely ignore her family. Do as if you didn't notice anybody left your house.

It once happened to me, I came back from work to find that my wife had left with my son and her things and my house maid.
Me I completely locked up. Never called her, never called her parents or siblings.
My own parents ate alive. When we talk on phone, I always told them my family was fine. If they asked, I say everybody was ok.

So after like 12 days, my wife and her people couldn't endure the quietness again. They kept wondering why I was at peace.
By themselves, they began calling my people and telling them that their daughter left and I didn't care to call them and ask what happened.

Next thing, my best friend called me, my mum called me, dad called me. Everyone was now asking where my wife was. They were all surprised. They beffed me to call my inlaws and reconcile my house. I told them no.

Then I told them that since I didn't chase her away, that she must come back home on her own.

I began giving my wife, her parents much of my own condition. Example: For everyday my wife stated in their place without them calling me the head of the home to ask me what happen, that I am punishing her with 7 days for every single day spent.

So she had stayed 12 days already so I told them I w ok not consider taking them back till after next 12 weeks.

The story long.

The point is stand your ground.
As a man never apologize to anyone when you're right.
Never tolerate insults from your wife or her parents. How dare they tell my wife to come back without my permission?
Punish every act if disobedience, never let go of Bleep ups.
Be ready to let anybody go at all times
Radical man. I wonder how long you will hold onto these tenets. Maybe if I'm alive in 10 years time, I will check u up and let's see if age hasn't wittled it down.
Re: How To Handle Life After Divorce by DavidEsq(m): 4:42pm On Mar 03
superCleanworks:


while trying to find your healing, please & please, avoid alcohol.

on a normal day, i have nothing against people boozing but involving it in a Breakup can turn you into someone you are not. And avoid R&B music 😁 if you don't want to die.

If you can cook, fill up your house with food and cook plenty. Work, eat plenty, sleep for now. You will be fine
He should start playing hardcore rap like Mystikal, DMX, Xzibit and 50 Cent ba 🀣🀣🀣🀣🀣🀣🀣🀣🀣
Re: How To Handle Life After Divorce by AwesomeDuru(m): 4:45pm On Mar 03
elipheleh:


She will come back. She will beg you in before 14 days time.

But never call her. Completely ignore her family. Do as if you didn't notice anybody left your house.

It once happened to me, I came back from work to find that my wife had left with my son and her things and my house maid.
Me I completely locked up. Never called her, never called her parents or siblings.
My own parents ate alive. When we talk on phone, I always told them my family was fine. If they asked, I say everybody was ok.

So after like 12 days, my wife and her people couldn't endure the quietness again. They kept wondering why I was at peace.
By themselves, they began calling my people and telling them that their daughter left and I didn't care to call them and ask what happened.

Next thing, my best friend called me, my mum called me, dad called me. Everyone was now asking where my wife was. They were all surprised. They beffed me to call my inlaws and reconcile my house. I told them no.

Then I told them that since I didn't chase her away, that she must come back home on her own.

I began giving my wife, her parents much of my own condition. Example: For everyday my wife stated in their place without them calling me the head of the home to ask me what happen, that I am punishing her with 7 days for every single day spent.

So she had stayed 12 days already so I told them I w ok not consider taking them back till after next 12 weeks.

The story long.

The point is stand your ground.
As a man never apologize to anyone when you're right.
Never tolerate insults from your wife or her parents. How dare they tell my wife to come back without my permission?
Punish every act if disobedience, never let go of Bleep ups.
Be ready to let anybody go at all times
Damn! You're naturally redpilled. Awesome.

2 Likes

Re: How To Handle Life After Divorce by MrBrownJay1(m): 5:16pm On Mar 03
Meektunz:
So we just got divorced with my wife yesterday after being married for 7years with 3 children.

Please how can one handle the life after divorce such as what neighbors will be saying (gossip), children involed & the depression.

Your inputs will go a long way to help me. Thank you.

The thing is, the first day she packed some of her stuufs from my house to her parents house, nobody called me from her house to ask what the problem is, then yesterday she packed the rest and left with the 3 children and still nobody has called me in her house to know what happened. I'm sure they are all thinking I'll come and beg after w or 3 days.

why would you care so much what others think?
why do you worry about people calling you hen she left?
why would you beg if you "supposedly" are divorced now?

how to move on: FORGET ABOUT YOUR EX WIFE!
Re: How To Handle Life After Divorce by superCleanworks(m): 6:18pm On Mar 03
DavidEsq:

He should start playing hardcore rap like Mystikal, DMX, Xzibit and 50 Cent ba 🀣🀣🀣🀣🀣🀣🀣🀣🀣

For you to mention MYSTIKAL in this list, you want make the guy dey wipe bottle for women head abi.
DANGER get on the floor. πŸ˜‚

1 Like

Re: How To Handle Life After Divorce by Chummynoni(m): 8:00pm On Mar 03
I have no advice for you but the least thing you should be worry about are your neighbors.
Re: How To Handle Life After Divorce by Uyi168: 8:19pm On Mar 03
..
Hope you've done the necessary check-check to make sure the three children are actually yours.


You'd feel better with time..
Re: How To Handle Life After Divorce by atoliman: 8:42pm On Mar 03
Marry another woman after things have settled, or go back and resettle your differences and remarry your ex.
Re: How To Handle Life After Divorce by Meektunz: 9:14pm On Mar 03
Chummynoni:
I have no advice for you but the least thing you should be worry about are your neighbors.
Hmmmm, thanks alot.... What you said will help me alot.
Re: How To Handle Life After Divorce by Meektunz: 9:15pm On Mar 03
Uyi168:
..
Hope you've done the necessary check-check to make sure the three children are actually yours.


You'd feel better with time..
the truth is I've always had doubt on two of the children. I'm only sure of one.
Re: How To Handle Life After Divorce by toujurs: 9:23pm On Mar 03
Meektunz:
So we just got divorced with my wife yesterday after being married for 7years with 3 children.

Please how can one handle the life after divorce such as what neighbors will be saying (gossip), children involed & the depression.

Your inputs will go a long way to help me. Thank you.

The thing is, the first day she packed some of her stuufs from my house to her parents house, nobody called me from her house to ask what the problem is, then yesterday she packed the rest and left with the 3 children and still nobody has called me in her house to know what happened. I'm sure they are all thinking I'll come and beg after w or 3 days.
Never beg, let it go.

The problem, is that you don't have as much money.

These women are bitches, and don't have taste or spec, it's always just about the money. Nothing else matters to them
Re: How To Handle Life After Divorce by jesmond3945: 9:37pm On Mar 03
Meektunz:
So we just got divorced with my wife yesterday after being married for 7years with 3 children.

Please how can one handle the life after divorce such as what neighbors will be saying (gossip), children involed & the depression.

Your inputs will go a long way to help me. Thank you.

The thing is, the first day she packed some of her stuufs from my house to her parents house, nobody called me from her house to ask what the problem is, then yesterday she packed the rest and left with the 3 children and still nobody has called me in her house to know what happened. I'm sure they are all thinking I'll come and beg after w or 3 days.
lol. No be divorce now. Thats a womans silent treatment. Go and see your kids thats the most important.
Re: How To Handle Life After Divorce by jesmond3945: 9:39pm On Mar 03
Meektunz:
I'm not talking about how to being her back, I'm talking about how to heal and move on...
it would be difficult to move on. There are kids betwen you both.
Re: How To Handle Life After Divorce by Meektunz: 9:56pm On Mar 03
jesmond3945:
it would be difficult to move on. There are kids betwen you both.
why do you say so sir? Can you explain, like talk more on it ... I really wish I can move on!!!
Re: How To Handle Life After Divorce by Eunoiaa(f): 10:11pm On Mar 03
This is superrr stoooory...

A life of strife and sorrows...

This is super sto-o-ory...

Of good food and houses...

Where the fishes drown, or even die of thirst...


This is super story. Super story, super storyyyy uh uh, this is super story.
Re: How To Handle Life After Divorce by Jeon(f): 12:01am On Mar 04
πŸ˜€πŸ˜€πŸ˜€πŸ˜€


Chaii, Men don't benefits from Marriage, but their emotions and pains will erupted like volcano once divorce is stepping in.






Move on, Marriage is not a must.

5 Likes 4 Shares

(1) (2) (Reply)

Need An Advice / Can One Get Love Here? / Now I Believe In Love More Than Ever Before

(Go Up)

Sections: politics (1) business autos (1) jobs (1) career education (1) romance computers phones travel sports fashion health
religion celebs tv-movies music-radio literature webmasters programming techmarket

Links: (1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) (9) (10)

Nairaland - Copyright © 2005 - 2024 Oluwaseun Osewa. All rights reserved. See How To Advertise. 85
Disclaimer: Every Nairaland member is solely responsible for anything that he/she posts or uploads on Nairaland.