₦airaland Forum

Evercurious:
I can never train my own first son in such way. Infact all my children. How can I train my own son to be a nuisance ,irresponsible child cum MUMU? I no fit abeg. And if I see anyone around him encouraging such, I ll so throw such person so far away... I wld never be a failure in such aspect.even if it ll take me both spiritually , physically and otherwise as long as it isnt an illegitimate means of making them responsible people, oga I sure ll cos I trust myself

You can take a cow to the river but you can't force it to drink water....
If you read what the o.p wrote you see where he wrote that the elder brother is highly intelligent and a Ph.d Holder and not just some dunce...
If you manage to give birth to your own first son... When he owns a business, makes money for himself and is a Ph.D holder .. You can go ahead and cut yourself from your son and see how beautiful that goes for you....

XXXXTENTACION:
You can take a cow to the river but you can't force it to drink water....
If you read what the o.p wrote you see where he wrote that the elder brother is highly intelligent and a Ph.d Holder and not just some dunce...
If you manage to give birth to your own first son... When he owns a business, makes money for himself and is a Ph.D holder .. You can go ahead and cut yourself from your son and see how beautiful that goes for you....

You shld have also read from the Op's post where he accused his dad of over pampering him. But has now decided to ignore him.. So you see that one or both parents is always the reason for such bad upbringing...

Evercurious:
You shld have also read from the Op's post where he accused his dad of over pampering him. But has now decided to ignore him.. So you see that one or both parents is always the reason for such bad upbringing...

What do you suggest they do ? .... They should kill their first son

XXXXTENTACION:
People always hate what they can't have...
Why don't you mind your business and face your own family...

he is 35 years old and he is your elder brother give him respect and focus all these energy and improve your life...

Please what do you mean by he should mind his business? He should watch and allow the 35years old guy kill his parents with his wahala ba?

[quote author=ImaIma1 post=106724636]Sadly enough, such people have issues dating because of their lack of emotional intelligence. If they find a woman that can be there long enough to marry him, she might become a frustrated wife.

Such people are so familiar to me because I know someone like that. He's now over 50 and still unmarried. He also has a pact with call girls like the OP's brother. He's the first boy. He has so many similarities with the OP's brother. Right now, he's not even on talking terms with his siblings. And he has now gone diabolic on them.

Some family members are really not worth calling family. Sometimes, we have to remove sentiments and act.[/quote]Absolutely

I've known this before now sef. A true friend worth and far better than some family

Your parents are the ones that spoilt him. Especially your mom.
I guess because he is the first boy and she sees him as the concrete that held down her marriage. They ought to have tamed that character in him long ago, but instead they are indulging it. You cant change someone who is being encouraged. Ignore it. Let your parents handle their failure..

Mybrotheralso:
Not frustration, he never lacked and sees good money

XXXXTENTACION:
What do you suggest they do ? .... They should kill their first son

Give him TOUGH LOVE

Harrykn:
Thank you brotherly.
Asin who give me muscle? An elder brother is still an elder brother no matter the condition, that respect and free will can't be taken away from him. I've seen a family were the firstborn was ignored because the second one was a Brain box. This people skip the jnr life cycle so tey my guy dey get pride, now e don Bleep them up and they can't even go back to the first son ask where hwibin stop for life.

First child isn't a title guy. Ofcourse you should know that one child will come before others. Even twins that was birth same day, one would definitely come before the other. You need to change your mentality about First child having monopoly to respect irrespective of his/her character. You are not superior to the last or middle child because we decided to have 5 kids and definitely it would be one after the other. Please erase this your thought of worshiping First child even if they are stupid.

Spherical77:
Please what do you mean by he should mind his business? He should watch and allow the 35years old guy kill his parents with his wahala ba?

if he does'nt want peace... He should go and fight with his elder brother na since that's what you peopld want...

XXXXTENTACION:
The fact the he is the elder brother and he is also the first born son of the family has earned him all the respect that is needed..

Wake up man. Respect is fvcking earn and not by firstborn of a thing

XXXXTENTACION:
if he does'nt want peace... He should go and fight with his elder brother na since that's what you peopld want...

The 35years old guy would leave the house. He should go and start a life for himself

Spherical77:
The 35years old guy would leave the house. He should go and start a life for himself

he is their son and he has every right to live with his parents...

Spherical77:
Wake up man. Respect is fvcking earn and not by firstborn of a thing

go ahead and disrespect the first born of your family or maybe go and fight with your elders since respect is not always given....

Evercurious:
Give him TOUGH LOVE

Abeg which one is tough love again

XXXXTENTACION:
Abeg which one is tough love again

It entails suppressing and suspending every form of 'supposed love' one has for an individual while applying stringent measures in correcting the abnormal or deformed character in such individual for his or her own good. Infact one has to kill every empathy or sympathy for that child while applying such necessary measures in setting the receiver in the right path.

Evercurious:
It entails suppressing and suspending every form of 'supposed love' one has for an individual while applying stringent measures in correcting the abnormal or deformed character in such individual for his or her own good. Infact one has to kill every empathy or sympathy for that child while applying such necessary measures in setting the receiver in the right path.

More like emotional manipulation...
it may work but not all the time... This guy is a 35 years old man and not a child you can easily cajole...
if things get extreme and the emotions goes haywire that's how you have family hurting themselves and things get crappy...
the best thing is to sit down and talk heart to heart... And if they is no change you could just accept them the way they are and move on.... After all you can't change everything...

Mybrotheralso:
He's the first born out of 5 children. He's doing his PHD and has his own business. He still lives with our parents. So he does not pay for house, food or water. But can you imagine this brother of mine who makes money from his business doesn't contribute to the house for the same food he eats, when he makes money he goes to hotels and sleep over with women and prefers to train and help outsiders than bring something to the family. Recently, he had the effontry to reject my mummy's food on the ground that it was served late. I simply asked my mom to stop putting food for him.

Honestly this brother of mine has never brought joy to my parents and siblings. He has had several accidents driving carelessly, yet my mom still takes care of it all and she has even stayed over in the hospital when he had the last accident and became unconscious.

They're just the kind of brother one will have and you wished you never had a brother , my brother is exactly that kind of brother anyone will wish not to have. Not to talk of his dubious nature, you can't do simple business with him without him cheating on you. I once was rearing one animal and had to send him money for feeds but can you believe he was billing me in excess. We also contributed money to renovate our father's house and he emphatically told us he bought something which he didn't actually buy.

I wonder why God gave us this kind of brother, he has been like this since we all knew something and hasn't changed for good.
He has been sat down and talked to severally yet he will repent and still go back to his old ways .

So pathetic!

Let him continue spending his life that way. He will learn the hard way. A story of a brother of mine when he started making it he was dubious, promiscuous and will never help family like your brother. The advice gave to him fly pass his ear. U see that promiscuous attitude that’s what we fought him off greatly but he still didn’t listen now he’s back to square one Nd those girls all gone. He’s getting whip severely presently na close monitoring we Dey give am now make he no commit suicide cos u go pity his predicament.

Evercurious:
You re wrong... what such people need is called tough love and not what you re advocating.. That doesnt work

Ooooops, another angle... I'm talking from real life experiences though...

XXXXTENTACION:
More like emotional manipulation...
it may work but not all the time... This guy is a 35 years old man and not a child you can easily cajole...
if things get extreme and the emotions goes haywire that's how you have family hurting themselves and things get crappy...
the best thing is to sit down and talk heart to heart... And if they is no change you could just accept them the way they are and move on.... After all you can't change everything...

It's not same as emotional cajole.. Seems you dont understand what I meant. One of such measures in tough love is sending him packing from the house and if possible cut him off ,leaving him to handle his issues and not caring for him at all etc.. infact treat him as an orphan and withdraw every atom of love from him... Those actions tend to make them come to terms with reality... That's what I mean.

Makschinchin:
Ooooops, another angle... I'm talking from real life experiences though...

Same here.. also from real life experience too

Evercurious:
It's not same as emotional cajole.. Seems you dont understand what I meant. One of such measures in tough love is sending him packing from the house and if possible cut him off ,leaving him to handle his issues and not caring for him at all etc.. infact treat him as an orphan and withdraw every atom of love from him... Those actions tend to make them come to terms with reality... That's what I mean.

Ok i grab....
but what if it this backfires... You know sometimes a solution can be worse than the problem itself...
for example somebody who spent 35 years of his life living with his parents and then without preparation send them to live alone and face the harsh realities of life...
what if after sending him away from home two days later you here he is kidnapped.. Or maybe drinks himself to stupor and gets engaged in an accident...

XXXXTENTACION:
Ok i grab....
but what if it this backfires... You know sometimes a solution can be worse than the problem itself...
for example somebody who spent 35 years of his life living with his parents and then without preparation send them to live alone and face the harsh realities of life...
what if after sending him away from home two days later you here he is kidnapped.. Or maybe drinks himself to stupor and gets engaged in an accident...

HE LL SORT HIMSELF OUT. THATS THE TOUGH LOVE.. You only owe him prayers from a good distance. 35 years sef is still young. Mine is or was almost 45 years. So 35 years is nothing naaa

Evercurious:
HE LL SORT HIMSELF OUT. THATS THE TOUGH LOVE.. You only owe him prayers from a good distance. 35 years sef is still young. Mine is or was almost 45 years. So 35 years is nothing naaa

ok goodluck.. And More grease to your elbow... Gat to port...

virginprincess:
That would be a good idea, you guys should try that.

try annnnalsexx? hell no but only if u insist sir.-always wanted. anyways by the way, did i mentions am a londoner & i drives bmw....juss in case u ask. U WANT?

Evercurious:
If he wants to be treated as an elder brother, then he shld aft as one. Do you even know if he had done more than enough to every of his siblings? Oga every man his own tolerance limit. Since he feels everything is his and he doeant want to see anyone around the house, then he shld go get his. But sorry I WONT take that from him. Maybe some others can . Well he now knows his boundaries with me... if you like you call that boasting naa you sabi

You are write , but know that curses surpasses levels of tolerance oo.when someone is cursed, nothing changes no matter how u react to the person.its only prayer that can change person and God

Evercurious:
If he wants to be treated as an elder brother, then he shld aft as one. Do you even know if he had done more than enough to every of his siblings? Oga every man his own tolerance limit. Since he feels everything is his and he doeant want to see anyone around the house, then he shld go get his. But sorry I WONT take that from him. Maybe some others can . Well he now knows his boundaries with me... if you like you call that boasting naa you sabi

You are right , but know that curses surpasses levels of tolerance oo.when someone is cursed, nothing changes no matter how u react to the person.its only prayer that can change person and God

KiNg0G:
Are you a male or female?

If you be guy and you dey bad-mouth your brother like so for public.
It no make sense.

You not be guy man at all.

Calm down! This is an anonymous forum.

Mybrotheralso:
We've done that severally. When we were growing up our dad nearly flogged him to his death and decided not to touch him anymore. We're just unfortunate to have him. Funny enough he's very smart and intelligent and makes money but character and behaviour is just zero.

The devil is not interested in idiots. He wants to influence only the very brilliant. Only Jesus came because of idiots and nincompoops.

KiNg0G:
Are you a male or female?

If you be guy and you dey bad-mouth your brother like so for public.
It no make sense.

You not be guy man at all.

Only a very bad human being like you will aide and abet criminality and immorality.

Evercurious:
HE LL SORT HIMSELF OUT. THATS THE TOUGH LOVE.. You only owe him prayers from a good distance. 35 years sef is still young. Mine is or was almost 45 years. so 35 years is nothing naaa

@bolded. Why use 'was' instead of "is".
Is your brother no more alive?

Evercurious:
It entails suppressing and suspending every form of 'supposed love' one has for an individual while applying stringent measures in correcting the abnormal or deformed character in such individual for his or her own good. Infact one has to kill every empathy or sympathy for that child while applying such necessary measures in setting the receiver in the right path.

I have something to say on this that has bordered me and I need your counsel honestly cos I'm losing my sanity

BscHolder:
I have something to say on this that has bordered me and I need your counsel honestly cos I'm losing my sanity

You're from a divided family,where everything is in disarray.the problem is from your mother's side of the family.


I m a Dm away if you really want to find a lead on how to break free