Age doesn't guarantee maturity, but responsibility does. Send the immature adult out of the house, by the time he starts paying his bills he will understand. Life is the best teacher.

XXXXTENTACION:
The fact the he is the elder brother and he is also the first born son of the family has earned him all the respect that is needed..

Lol.... indeed. Pls keep such pathetic mentality within yourself

oshaosha2014:
Are you telling me the first born is more of a sacrificial lamb of the success of his or her younger ones. It's scary man.

Bro, it's a kind of foundational issue which has been happening in the Bible too. However, this doesn't mean 1st borns can't be successful. If u want to confirm what i am saying to be true or not, try and observe those first borns in ur neighbourhood. Many of them(not all) have nothing meaningful to write about their lives.

I hope you don't end up killing your brother with the narrative you use to describe him. I know there could be some disappointment when you expect your elderly brother to have become the breadwinner for the family and this is not forthcoming yet, but you should understand that things are hard in the country generally. At least, you acknowledge that he has a business he is doing, that means he is better than 50% of youth out there who are just wasting their productive years on frivolities. I will advise you and other siblings to be supportive of your brother because there is nobody out there who will care about you like he does. People don't realize the importance of what they have until they lose it. Some people are even looking for a brother who is of the same mother and father but they don't have one. You gat to respect the brotherly love you share together.

Evercurious:



Lol.... indeed. Pls keep such pathetic mentality within yourself

How many times have you ever posted your family problems on nairaland... Or does your family not have problems
but due to the respect you have for your family you don't post them on a public forum... But you meet them in person and tackle the issue... It is as simple as that..

oshaosha2014:
Facts only. Go and tell kings they have to earn the position their fore father have been maintaining from time immemorial.

hope you know are Qouting the wrong person...

princeeze1:
Unfortunately the problem here is your mother! Not every child is meant to have common sense factory fitted. I have same issue with my immediate elder brother. Unmarried, 40, eating from my mother’s pot. Mind you I already have 2 kids. I agree life is not competition though. I never returned home, the moment I graduated, not because I would be chased out, but because I was ready to face life. He will not get serious because he does not want to leave his area of comfort and face the challenges of paying the attending bills life begins to throw at him, and your mother just like mine has aided and abetted him thinking it’s mother’s love. My mother cannot just stop. Your best bet is to encourage him to get married, which I intend doing for my bro when I arrive in December, I already asked him to introduce his fiancée to me when I arrive for Xmas. A wife would most prolly ensure they get their place, he has bills to shoulder hence he becomes financially responsible. As for dubious dealings, that maybe factory follow come.

Wrong move!!!

oshaosha2014:
With prayers he'll definitely change. Me I know how prayers can change the impossible. Prayers can affect our physical realm in such a way that we wouldn't know our prayers have been answered already because we want things to happen like magic, we don't want to wait in prayers. Till I die I will always rely on prayers wether at my wits end or not. That their firstborn needs prayers and love. They should just relax on the other methods since they are not working.

Prayer answers it all.

Evercurious:


IT ISNT FRUSTRATION.. his attitude is well known in igno land ... most first sons behave that way cos they have been over pampered and told that all properties are theirs

Really? I didn't know it was something common in Igbo land
I hope his parents leave a will otherwise he won't give his younger ones anything since he feels so entitled

DaddyRochie1642:


I want it to pepper you very well

if needle drop on your head......i swear it will echoe

DaddyRochie1642:
That's how it starts,

The next thing na, you'll start thinking of ways on how you'll "Poison that your brother"

Please delete this statement of yours. What for?

Morgan9:


All this things u just mentioned wont change him ..
That is character is inbuilt
I have an elder brother that behave exactly like him in my family..

Everyone has given up on him we are just waiting to hear he has died so that we can bury him..

I actually laffed out loud. Sorry. Mine was like that but luckily he has a well to do parents who sent him abroad to study, married for him, he and his wife and kids stayed with us in the same house. luckily again, the wife was a nurse here so they did Express entry immigration and are now in canada. The battle was like world war one and two join together. That first son syndrome is disturbing them and so because mostly the parents indulge them, the keep on misbehaving. They actually think the parents always owe them . Even while outside, na so so fight. Police have been involved on many occasions. Hhahahhah. Maybe u guys should not give up on him yet. A little more patience could change the story

XXXXTENTACION:
How many times have you ever posted your family problems on nairaland... Or does your family not have problems

It's all choice. Afterall when I had to ' clean up 'my eldest brother's fup behaving same way as Op's, my parents were some how 'embarrassed' cos of the neighbours and tenants. But to me, to hell with what they term embarrassment cos it wasnt at all. I had not been home for more than 10 years and that single day ended that rubbish.. All I got was settling bills from a distance incurred by a full grown man that never wants to take responsibility for anything

houseontherock:

Really? I didn't know it was something common in Igbo land
I hope his parents leave a will otherwise he won't give his younger ones anything since he feels so entitled

Lol... Very very common amongst most shameless firstborns. Will or no will, my brother knows he CAN NEVER try such trash. Our parents are even the ones shielding him from our wrath.. We wld ve dealt with him long before I did. I had proposed handling him since 2008 but my parents requested that we gave him some more time. I dont know about how others wanted to handle theirs. But I dealt with him when he I got home after about 10 years on one of the occasions he came up with one of his nasty characters. Every man his own tolerance level.. Me i no fit at all with such person

Evercurious:


It's all choice. Afterall when I had to ' clean up 'my eldest brother's fup behaving same way as Op's, my parents were some how 'embarrassed' cos of the neighbours and tenants. But to me, to hell with what they term embarrassment cos it wasnt at all. I had not been home for more than 10 years and that single day ended that rubbish.. All I got was settling bills from a distance incurred by a full grown man that never wants to take responsibility for anything

This case is very different... as stipulated by the O.P the elder brother runs a business and makes alot of money for himself and he also is training himself and he is now a Ph.d holder...

KiNg0G:


Are you a male or female?

If you be guy and you dey bad-mouth your brother like so for public.
It no make sense.

You not be guy man at all.

lol,u never jam stupid brother...if you were in his shoes,you might do similar thing...I know how it feels

One thing in life is that TIMES AND SITUATION changes.
Forget the certificate and Business he is doing.
You can't say what he is facing or going through .life is not all about certificate ot business.
If you put it all on that ,you may entirely be wrong.
A time and situation that seems favourable to a senior in his prime may not be again.

While it may favour his juniors ,it may not be for his seniors.
Everyone in life has a time and situation that favours them even if they are not employed
Secondly just pray for him and be patient ,it's not easy to go through university come out and things DONT GO AS EXPECTED!!!
EVEN after all ones plans and ambitions,the turn out may not be as he expected.
It may be also there is a reason for his change on character and behaviour.
A brother close to me had to not go to school or have what he wished so that his juniors can enjoy their schooling.
Such is life.
Maybe you were not aware of the sacrifices he made or thing she had to go through silently on your behalf as a senior.
Forget all the PhD and Business.once someone is not Happy ,anything can happen .
One to and situation dont favour a person even though he has the best education or business,he would never be satisfied.
It's a matter of you just praying for him to find out where THINGS WENT WRONG.
ITS NOT ABOUT HIS POSITION, SOMETHING MUST HAVE HAPPENED TO HIM WHICH U ARE BOT AWARE THAT MADE HIM CHANGE FOREVER

Evercurious:



Lol... Very very common amongst most shameless firstborns. Will or no will, my brother knows he CAN NEVER try such trash. Our parents are even the ones shielding him from our wrath.. We wld ve dealt with him long before I did. I had proposed handling him since 2008 but my parents requested that we gave him some more time. I dont know about how others wanted to handle theirs. But I dealt with him when he I got home after about 10 years on one of the occasions he came up with one of his nasty characters. Every man his own tolerance level.. Me i no fit at all with such person

You are boasting that u dealt with ur brother,Thank God u r not man.In this life there are things that go round and come round.
All ones actions,reactions and inactions come back to the same.source.its the laws of karma.
Well adolescence and maturity are not the same.
But it would get to a time when u enter his or her shoes no matter how right or wrong you are,you would feel the pinch.
This is just the law of karma,whatever one sows he shall reap.
Even been employed or working doesn't shield one FROM the law of karma which is applicable to all.
In life the only thing I value is respect to anybody.
Before I disrespect anyone they must have bitten more than they can shew or pushed me toooo far.
The thing is when the person is not there again,one would remember that no one can be like a brother because some stupid stranger would do the same shit one did to a senior and there would be nothing one can do about it

People with good siblings dont know how much God has blessed them....we take them for granted. Thanks sis for being my good sister

OP....may God help you.

oshaosha2014:
Is he the first born.

He is number 8 in the family

From all the comments here ,it is glaring that Education is not a character builder.
It is also not about wether one is a professional or not.
It's not only about if one is a firstborn or not.
Firstborn always bears the whole brunt ot things .
They are the ones that bear too much brunt and there is this foundational misconception on in this country about first Borns that they would be the ones to benefit the whole family when they get a job.
Such must be struck out.
Also wether they are jobless or not ,people over expect TOOOOO MUCH FROM them.
If only the society had some form of support for them it would have been better.
But the society is selfish itself to an extent every man is for himself.

Matrixlord2021:


You are boasting that u dealt with ur brother,Thank God u r not man.In this life there are things that go round and come round.
All ones actions,reactions and inactions come back to the same.source.its the laws of karma.
Well adolescence and maturity are not the same.
But it would get to a time when u enter his or her shoes no matter how right or wrong you are,you would feel the pinch.
This is just the law of karma,whatever one sows he shall reap.
Even been employed or working doesn't shield one FROM the law of karma which is applicable to all.
In life the only thing I value is respect to anybody.
Before I disrespect anyone they must have bitten more than they can shew or pushed me toooo far.
The thing is when the person is not there again,one would remember that no one can be like a brother because some stupid stranger would do the same shit one did to a senior and there would be nothing one can do about it

If he wants to be treated as an elder brother, then he shld aft as one. Do you even know if he had done more than enough to every of his siblings? Oga every man his own tolerance limit. Since he feels everything is his and he doeant want to see anyone around the house, then he shld go get his. But sorry I WONT take that from him. Maybe some others can . Well he now knows his boundaries with me... if you like you call that boasting naa you sabi

I read comments here and I'm baffled. Some said the poster might be a female,therefore she should go and marry, others said pray for him, while others said the poster should mind his business.

May you not have that sibling that is a in thorn in your family's flesh. At 35, a man for that Matert still lives with his parents, not married and eating *mama thank you * and still complains about the food that fed him since childhood. The poster is man and not living with their parents, that's a man there.

Dear poster, tell your parents to kick him out and allow him take up responsibilities as a grown up full function man. By the time he pays house rent, buys light, feed himself, he will have a brain reset.

Na too much oshiofree dey disturb am. Nonsense and iberibe and black sheep oshi��

hmmmmmm there is no family you would not see one useless brother or sister aunty and uncle. So it's your cross keep carrying it. I pray he sees a reason to change though

XXXXTENTACION:
This case is very different... as stipulated by the O.P the elder brother runs a business and makes alot of money for himself and he also is training himself and he is now a Ph.d holder...

Oga stop making any case for that one. They re all same... Is it because I didnt come here stating mine from the beginning? Abeg stop making any silly excuse for them cos its same stupidity that is disturbing them.. Most of them are all selfish and self centred with serious entitlement spirit worrying them.

Caleb91:

if needle drop on your head......i swear it will echoe

Someone once told me that one of the things they noticed is that aggressive people usually have Thick Black Lips but I never believed them until now

Its a first born problem. Some kind of generational jinx

Gcool2:
lol,u never jam stupid brother...if you were in his shoes,you might do similar thing...I know how it feels

no one is perfect.
we all got our flaws....but I can't criticise my brother flaws behind his back.

i tell am for him front make fight better fight.

it ends there.

Is he not married yet?

Blame Buhari

Mybrotheralso:

I'm married and I haven't stayed in the home for 6 years now except visits

Great!
Your bro needs serious intervention.

pacespot:
I hope you don't end up killing your brother with the narrative you use to describe him. I know there could be some disappointment when you expect your elderly brother to have become the breadwinner for the family and this is not forthcoming yet, but you should understand that things are hard in the country generally. At least, you acknowledge that he has a business he is doing, that means he is better than 50% of youth out there who are just wasting their productive years on frivolities. I will advise you and other siblings to be supportive of your brother because there is nobody out there who will care about you like he does. People don't realize the importance of what they have until they lose it. Some people are even looking for a brother who is of the same mother and father but they don't have one. You gat to respect the brotherly love you share together.

May your wisdom never fade!