Munzy14:

Their is nothing you, your parents or anyone can do...You can't change a 35yr old man undergoing his PhD studies over night...


This is his life...Just face your own...The thing binding you guys is your parents...Ones they complete their time on earth...It is on your own.

He is the first, and definitely going to take over your Dad's house and probably a mummy's boy...You cannever win this batyle you want to start.

Back off...Before it becomes brutal.

Don't be surprised he will become a sweet guy in his 40s with family sef..Then you will regret fighting him now.

Respect

Ten06:


We are 15 in my family and we are doing well except him.
4 of us are in abroad

Be like say u de whine yourself!

Mybrotheralso:
He's the first born out of 5 children. He's doing his PHD and has his own business. He still lives with our parents. So he does not pay for house, food or water. But can you imagine this brother of mine who makes money from his business doesn't contribute to the house for the same food he eats, when he makes money he goes to hotels and sleep over with women and prefers to train and help outsiders than bring something to the family. Recently, he had the effontry to reject my mummy's food on the ground that it was served late. I simply asked my mom to stop putting food for him.

Honestly this brother of mine has never brought joy to my parents and siblings. He has had several accidents driving carelessly, yet my mom still takes care of it all and she has even stayed over in the hospital when he had the last accident and became unconscious.

They're just the kind of brother one will have and you wished you never had a brother , my brother is exactly that kind of brother anyone will wish not to have. Not to talk of his dubious nature, you can't do simple business with him without him cheating on you. I once was rearing one animal and had to send him money for feeds but can you believe he was billing me in excess. We also contributed money to renovate our father's house and he emphatically told us he bought something which he didn't actually buy.

I wonder why God gave us this kind of brother, he has been like this since we all knew something and hasn't changed for good.
He has been sat down and talked to severally yet he will repent and still go back to his old ways .

So pathetic!

It happens everywhere.they should just leave him God may change him for good in no time.

frozen70:



Is very unfortunate for him to be behaving like a prodigal son at that over ripe age

You guys must learn from his mistakes and move on with out him being am obstacles to you his siblings

Don't give him the time and attention he needs from you people, because he will capitalize on seniority for you guys

Just move on but be prepared for the trouble he may pose for you people as he grows old unless he is married then, his wife may be the one to correct his madness

As for your mum, no woman can leave her child just like that,even if the child is tied to a stake for police shooting she will still love that child, unless not a biological mother

Don't be surprise, that his Animalistic behavior has already affected your mum emotionally

Just don't give him the opportunity to intimidate or harras any one of you, you guys must team up against him when that time comes

Lastly, put away your family landed properties documents hope you know why ?

For a nuclear family I disagree with you.
Family is family no matter what!
Had it been its a polygamous family your advice is ok
So you think that guy won't change?
All he needs now is support and care else the story will end in irony.
form my point of view you guys are not close or don't like him

Evercurious:



Oga stop making any case for that one. They re all same... Is it because I didnt come here stating mine from the beginning? Abeg stop making any silly excuse for them cos its same stupidity that is disturbing them.. Most of them are all selfish and self centred with serious entitlement spirit worrying them.

Ever heard of empathy and forgiveness ....
before you totally condemn someone atleast try to find out why and what motivates their actions...
the world would atleast be a better place if we learn to empatise and forgive....
this is a matured man at least speak to him and he will get to reason...

chatinent:

It baffles me how most stupid persons get the best treatments.

Oh, so sorry.

I understand.


Be you and be the brother your brother never was to your fam. Don't hurt yourself with memories. Tell mum to stop feeding the agbaya oshi. My kind of father will send you packing! Nevertheless, serve him his own cake...one day he'll come to his senses.

You'll be fine.

Chai! Bros Chatinet, this one too harsh now Show him some love and more love until he has no other option than to return the love.. God help him sha.. Being hostile to such people could even worsen the case.. Na wah oo

houseontherock:

Your brother is frustrated, believe me and don't think he's doing fine because he's doing his doctoral program! Doing PhD in Nigeria is very frustrating especially if you do it in a public university with frustrated supervisors and little finding. He may be making money through field work and stuff like that but he's definitely using that money for his own research work unless he's employed or he's fully funded. However, it doesn't excuse his insensitivity because like they say "no be you cause him problem". He should be wise

Those problems didn't start today , thank you for your contribution

nairabacks:


If you're family is From Uromi In Edo state, you're only wasting your time. Everything your parents have is his already.

Hope that's not the case ..

We're easterners, thank you

XXXXTENTACION:
People always hate what they can't have...
Why don't you mind your business and face your own family...

he is 35 years old and he is your elder brother give him respect and focus all these energy and improve your life...

He's my brother and my business. Thank you

Malawian:
First son? Well 60% of first sons are not fathered by their supposed fathers. It is possible your elder brother knows the truth of his paternity and is using it to blackmail your mom.

We're all genetically from parents , so that's not the case here

victorazy:


Calm down my brother, I know how disappointed and heartbroken you feel.

I must tell you! Is not his fault. Is called foundational powers, it falls on first sons. It would have affected you if your the first son.

The signs:
1. They womanize & women like them
2. They can never be trusted in business as they must cheat you.
3. You can not trust your money in their hands
4. They can owe
5. They can sell any sellable
6. They can be stubborn
7. They are intelligent but latent
8. Helpers always come their ways but never blend well with them. Etc

You have to pity him, he needs your prayers.

Exactly how he is, though he is understanding sometimes

SimplyFacts:


I can relate, bro. You need to ignore some comments. No matter how hard you try, people who have no such person around wouldn't understand your plight. I pray he turns a new leaf.

Amen , thank you for understanding

alexola20:
Maybe your dad should conduct a DNA on him first.
Just thinking

We're genetically our parents, thank u

Msjacy:
I read comments here and I'm baffled. Some said the poster might be a female,therefore she should go and marry, others said pray for him, while others said the poster should mind his business.

May you not have that sibling that is a in thorn in your family's flesh. At 35, a man for that Matert still lives with his parents, not married and eating *mama thank you * and still complains about the food that fed him since childhood. The poster is man and not living with their parents, that's a man there.

Dear poster, tell your parents to kick him out and allow him take up responsibilities as a grown up full function man. By the time he pays house rent, buys light, feed himself, he will have a brain reset.

Na too much oshiofree dey disturb am. Nonsense and iberibe and black sheep oshi��

Thank you

Evercurious:


Pls dont fool yourself. Just concentrate on yourself and leave your parents to clean up their mess. I tell you the truth... Dont spend your money and time on them cos they re gathering wealth for your brother. Just make sure you collect or gather what is yours and leave them to their fates. I m speaking from experience. IF POSSIBLE AND IF YOU CAN CUT OFF FROM THEM ALL FOR NOW AND SAVE YOURSELF SOME STRESS..... I speak from experience again..

Thank you so much

Mybrotheralso:

Exactly how he is, though he is understanding sometimes

Yes, they do understand sometimes

DaddyRochie1642:



Someone once told me that one of the things they noticed is that aggressive people usually have Thick Black Lips but I never believed them until now

distance between u and common sense is raise to power 2 the distance between planet earth and the sun

Mybrotheralso:

He's my brother and my business. Thank you

First he is an adult (35 years) matured enough to take care of himself he is not a puppet neither is he a little child ... It's not like he is in any deep trouble that needs you to rescue him...
I don't seem to understand...
a little explanation pls...

XXXXTENTACION:
Ever heard of empathy and forgiveness ....
before you totally condemn someone atleast try to find out why and what motivates their actions...
the world would atleast be a better place if we learn to empatise and forgive....
this is a matured man at least speak to him and he will get to reason...

Lol... it's obvious you dont have anyone like this selfish ,self centred and entitled person in your immediate family. What makes you feel that all these measures you mentioned have nt been applied? There is something called TOUGH LOVE and that is exactly what such people need and deserve at that point to save them from further and total destruction



As per what motivates their action is something we all know. ENTITLEMENT ATTITUDE/ SPIRIT has engulfed him. Hence that lousy behaviour

Tgrey:

For a nuclear family I disagree with you.
Family is family no matter what!
Had it been its a polygamous family your advice is ok
So you think that guy won't change?
All he needs now is support and care else the story will end in irony.
form my point of view you guys are not close or don't like him

Pray not to have a brother that behaves like him

That guy will not change because he has already fashioned his life

He is just a bone in the neck

I only pity their mother

The only person that may change him, is if he gets married to a woman who is more organized than him and she is ready to pull the bull by its horn

Evercurious:


Lol... it's obvious you dont have anyone like this selfish ,self centred and entitled person in your immediate family. What makes you feel that all these measures you mentioned have nt been applied? There is something called TOUGH LOVE and that is exactly what such people need and deserve at that point to save them from further and total destruction



As per what motivates their action is something we all know. ENTITLEMENT ATTITUDE/ SPIRIT has engulfed him. Hence that lousy behaviour

Yeah why won't he feel entitled when he is the first born son ...

XXXXTENTACION:
Yeah why won't he feel entitled when he is the first born son ...

Lol... First born my ass.. First born that isnt ready to take up responsibility but wants everyone to bow to him? Him never start. He should try somewhere else and maybe in another lifetime.

RESPECT IS EARNED AND NEVER GIVEN.

Tgrey:

For a nuclear family I disagree with you.
Family is family no matter what!
Had it been its a polygamous family your advice is ok
So you think that guy won't change?
All he needs now is support and care else the story will end in irony.
form my point of view you guys are not close or don't like him

It's obvious that that you have nt seen nor had any situation such as this in your immediate family

Evercurious:


Lol... First born my ass.. First born that isnt ready to take up responsibility but wants everyone to bow to him? Him never start. He should try somewhere else and maybe in another lifetime.

RESPECT IS EARNED AND NEVER GIVEN.

He already runs a business for himself and he is also pursuing an educational career for himself what other responsibilty do you want him to take again ...

XXXXTENTACION:
He already runs a business for himself and he is also pursuing an educational career for himself what other responsibilty do you want him to take again ...

Lol.. Oga abeg shift... Didnt you see where the OP complains that he adds no value to the house but recks havoc destroying stuffs that he ends up not paying for while they the siblings do? What sort of responsible person does that? Infact, what's he even still doing in that house eating free food if he isnt irresponsibility personified ? Oga abeg I pray you have such person in your immediate family. How am I even sure you are nt one sef? Are you?

Makschinchin:


Chai! Bros Chatinet, this one too harsh now Show him some love and more love until he has no other option than to return the love.. God help him sha.. Being hostile to such people could even worsen the case.. Na wah oo

You re wrong... what such people need is called tough love and not what you re advocating.. That doesnt work

Evercurious:


Lol.. Oga abeg shift... Didnt you see where the OP complains that he adds no value to the house but recks havoc destroying stuffs that he ends up not paying for while they the siblings do? What sort of responsible person does that? Infact, what's he even still doing in that house eating free food if he isnt irresponsibility personified ? Oga abeg I pray you have such person in your immediate family. How am I even sure you are nt one sef?

He is living with his parents and as he is their son and blood....
you can't just kick him out like that....

My eldest brother is worst, sometimes I wonder if we are actually from the same womb, I regret being part of that family, always bringing tears to my eyes.

XXXXTENTACION:
He is living with his parents and as he is their son and blood....
you can't just kick him out like that....

Lol. You just wan find my mouth. Oga abeg go. Ebi like say naa your type we dey even talk about..

Janella1:
My eldest brother is worst, sometimes I wonder if we are actually from the same womb, I regret being part of that family, always bringing tears to my eyes.

My dear it's well. Dont bother yourself. Just cut him off and think of yourself only for now. You will be better and happier when you cut him off... Make sure you let them know their boundaries with you shld they want to come close. You wld be surprised that he wont try such rubbish when it comes to you. Thats all

Evercurious:


Lol. You just wan find my mouth. Oga abeg go. Ebi like say naa your type we dey even talk about..

Ok if you give birth to your own first son you can chase him away and see how it goes....

XXXXTENTACION:
Ok if you give birth to your own first son you can chase him away and see how it goes....

I can never train my own first son in such way. Infact all my children. How can I train my own son to be a nuisance ,irresponsible child cum MUMU? I no fit abeg. And if I see anyone around him encouraging such, I ll so throw such person so far away... I wld never be a failure in such aspect.even if it ll take me both spiritually , physically and otherwise as long as it isnt an illegitimate means of making them responsible people, oga I sure ll cos I trust myself