This evening, I overheard a conversation between two ladies as I happened to be seated near them. Their discussion centered on the topic of choosing between a man with financial means and one without. Both women held strong opinions on why they could never envision building a life with a financially struggling man, they asserted.

I want to make it clear that I'm not passing judgment on them. Whatever aspirations they harbor for themselves are entirely valid. If they aspire to marry a wealthy and accomplished man, that's their prerogative. However, it prompted me to engage in a dialogue with myself. As someone who often finds solace in introspection, I posed the question, "Is there anything inherently wrong with embarking on life with a man who lacks financial resources?" My response was a firm no. This led me to ponder further, "Can a financially struggling man ultimately achieve success?" Again, my answer was affirmative. Consequently, I asked myself, "What qualities should a woman look for in a man before embarking on a life journey with him when he possesses little to no financial stability?"

To be frank, there are numerous factors to consider, and I'll share them with you. It's essential to acknowledge that there's nothing wrong with starting anew with a man. However, the success of such a venture hinges on the character and qualities of the individual you choose, as not all men are suited for such a journey.

Here are some crucial traits I believe every woman should assess when contemplating building a life with a man:

His Work Ethic: As a woman, you should pay close attention to his approach toward tasks assigned to him. I recall a personal experience where I parted with a man that I loved due to his chronic procrastination and laziness. He would rather spend hours on series than get things done and he doesn’t mind spending the whole day lounging in bed, offering excuses for unfinished tasks. This behavior hinted at a lack of responsibility and a tendency to avoid accountability, with the hope that success would magically materialize one day.

His Dreams and Aspirations: A woman should observe how a man articulates his dreams, how he paint grandiose visions of the future and the bigger picture without minding the reality of now. You should beware of individuals who lack drive or a clear vision. A man with genuine ambition will share his goals and exhibit a strategic approach to realizing them.

His Definition of Success: Recognize that success is subjective. It's essential for women to recognize that not all men aspire to wealth and material possessions; what constitutes success for one may not be deemed as such by another. Some men are content with basic necessities, a roof over their heads and a job to sustain them without any aspirations beyond mere survival. Conversely, others seek more than just getting by, they aim to provide their children with top-tier education, reside in affluent neighborhoods, drive luxury cars, invest for the future, establish businesses, and indulge in global travel for leisure. I once encountered a man who questioned the need to strive for material abundance, stating, "Why struggle for possessions that we'll eventually leave behind? As long as I have food, clothing, and a job, I'm content." His perspective made it clear to me that he and I weren't aligned in our desires. Personally, I aspire more than mere sustenance; I seek a life enriched with opportunities, experiences, and abundance for myself and my future family.

His Social Circle: It's a known fact that the company we keep greatly influences our lives. The size of one's wallet may not be relevant in this context, but the quality of one's associations holds paramount importance. This isn't something to directly inquire about; rather, it's something to observe as a woman. Take a closer look at his closest companions. Are they individuals engaged in legitimate endeavors, building their lives with integrity? Or do they engage in questionable activities, such as fraud or excessive drinking and womanizing? Are they individuals of substance? By examining the company he keeps, you can gain valuable insights into the character and future trajectory of the man in question.

His Attitude Toward Money: How does he perceive wealth, and what is his approach to earning it? Does he value the dignity of labor, or does he constantly seek shortcuts or embrace a Ponzi-like mentality? Is he patient, willing to sow seeds and patiently nurture them to fruition, or does he prefer instant gratification? His approach to financial matters speaks volumes about his character.

If a man harbors unrealistic expectations of sudden wealth or displays a lack of commitment to legitimate means of earning, it's unwise to embark on a life journey with him. Such a partnership is likely to lead to frustration and disappointment in the long run.

Family Dynamics: While it may seem unconventional, I pay close attention to family patterns. One striking observation I made in my ex’s family was the stark contrast in work ethic between the genders. The women in the household exhibited remarkable diligence and ambition. Even his youngest sibling, still in university, managed a successful business alongside her studies. In contrast, the four men in the family appeared content with a more laid-back lifestyle.

My suspicions were confirmed when I visited their home and heard his mother proudly claim, "I raised all my children single-handedly." I realized that marrying into such a family would inevitably place the burden of financial responsibility solely on my shoulders, as it seemed ingrained in their family dynamic that women should be the primary providers and hustler, a man raised in such family cannot suddenly change.

Lastly, individuals who evade work under the guise of divine calling “God has called me to full-time ministry" or rely on the notion of "miracle money" should be approached with caution. I'm acquainted with someone in a marriage with such a man, who absolves himself of household responsibilities, claiming that God hasn't directed him to work, leaving the burden on his wife's shoulders. It's prudent to steer clear of religious men who shirk their earthly duties, believing that divine intervention exempts them from work.

In conclusion, my dear sisters, there's no shame or taboo in building a life from scratch with a partner. However, the success of such a venture hinges on the character and values of the individual you choose. So, observe and choose wisely.

https://www.facebook.com/100003578217893/posts/pfbid0eo5ndXDNS4phTAAptyvZjXCysSc52ony6XRPdox2Wp4iVHqwaEnETNchTZFL7bKMl/?app=fbl
Tadè
Atanda
Iyawo oga

Dem no go hear....

Dem no dey reason this one. Na ready made and awoof dem dey like .

Darevofpeace:
This evening, I overheard a conversation between two ladies as I happened to be seated near them. Their discussion centered on the topic of choosing between a man with financial means and one without. Both women held strong opinions on why they could never envision building a life with a financially struggling man, they asserted.

I want to make it clear that I'm not passing judgment on them. Whatever aspirations they harbor for themselves are entirely valid. If they aspire to marry a wealthy and accomplished man, that's their prerogative. However, it prompted me to engage in a dialogue with myself. As someone who often finds solace in introspection, I posed the question, "Is there anything inherently wrong with embarking on life with a man who lacks financial resources?" My response was a firm no. This led me to ponder further, "Can a financially struggling man ultimately achieve success?" Again, my answer was affirmative. Consequently, I asked myself, "What qualities should a woman look for in a man before embarking on a life journey with him when he possesses little to no financial stability?"

To be frank, there are numerous factors to consider, and I'll share them with you. It's essential to acknowledge that there's nothing wrong with starting anew with a man. However, the success of such a venture hinges on the character and qualities of the individual you choose, as not all men are suited for such a journey.

Here are some crucial traits I believe every woman should assess when contemplating building a life with a man:

His Work Ethic: As a woman, you should pay close attention to his approach toward tasks assigned to him. I recall a personal experience where I parted with a man that I loved due to his chronic procrastination and laziness. He would rather spend hours on series than get things done and he doesn’t mind spending the whole day lounging in bed, offering excuses for unfinished tasks. This behavior hinted at a lack of responsibility and a tendency to avoid accountability, with the hope that success would magically materialize one day.

His Dreams and Aspirations: A woman should observe how a man articulates his dreams, how he paint grandiose visions of the future and the bigger picture without minding the reality of now. You should beware of individuals who lack drive or a clear vision. A man with genuine ambition will share his goals and exhibit a strategic approach to realizing them.

His Definition of Success: Recognize that success is subjective. It's essential for women to recognize that not all men aspire to wealth and material possessions; what constitutes success for one may not be deemed as such by another. Some men are content with basic necessities, a roof over their heads and a job to sustain them without any aspirations beyond mere survival. Conversely, others seek more than just getting by, they aim to provide their children with top-tier education, reside in affluent neighborhoods, drive luxury cars, invest for the future, establish businesses, and indulge in global travel for leisure. I once encountered a man who questioned the need to strive for material abundance, stating, "Why struggle for possessions that we'll eventually leave behind? As long as I have food, clothing, and a job, I'm content." His perspective made it clear to me that he and I weren't aligned in our desires. Personally, I aspire more than mere sustenance; I seek a life enriched with opportunities, experiences, and abundance for myself and my future family.

His Social Circle: It's a known fact that the company we keep greatly influences our lives. The size of one's wallet may not be relevant in this context, but the quality of one's associations holds paramount importance. This isn't something to directly inquire about; rather, it's something to observe as a woman. Take a closer look at his closest companions. Are they individuals engaged in legitimate endeavors, building their lives with integrity? Or do they engage in questionable activities, such as fraud or excessive drinking and womanizing? Are they individuals of substance? By examining the company he keeps, you can gain valuable insights into the character and future trajectory of the man in question.

His Attitude Toward Money: How does he perceive wealth, and what is his approach to earning it? Does he value the dignity of labor, or does he constantly seek shortcuts or embrace a Ponzi-like mentality? Is he patient, willing to sow seeds and patiently nurture them to fruition, or does he prefer instant gratification? His approach to financial matters speaks volumes about his character.

If a man harbors unrealistic expectations of sudden wealth or displays a lack of commitment to legitimate means of earning, it's unwise to embark on a life journey with him. Such a partnership is likely to lead to frustration and disappointment in the long run.

Family Dynamics: While it may seem unconventional, I pay close attention to family patterns. One striking observation I made in my ex’s family was the stark contrast in work ethic between the genders. The women in the household exhibited remarkable diligence and ambition. Even his youngest sibling, still in university, managed a successful business alongside her studies. In contrast, the four men in the family appeared content with a more laid-back lifestyle.

My suspicions were confirmed when I visited their home and heard his mother proudly claim, "I raised all my children single-handedly." I realized that marrying into such a family would inevitably place the burden of financial responsibility solely on my shoulders, as it seemed ingrained in their family dynamic that women should be the primary providers and hustler, a man raised in such family cannot suddenly change.

Lastly, individuals who evade work under the guise of divine calling “God has called me to full-time ministry" or rely on the notion of "miracle money" should be approached with caution. I'm acquainted with someone in a marriage with such a man, who absolves himself of household responsibilities, claiming that God hasn't directed him to work, leaving the burden on his wife's shoulders. It's prudent to steer clear of religious men who shirk their earthly duties, believing that divine intervention exempts them from work.

In conclusion, my dear sisters, there's no shame or taboo in building a life from scratch with a partner. However, the success of such a venture hinges on the character and values of the individual you choose. So, observe and choose wisely.

https://www.facebook.com/100003578217893/posts/pfbid0eo5ndXDNS4phTAAptyvZjXCysSc52ony6XRPdox2Wp4iVHqwaEnETNchTZFL7bKMl/?app=fbl
Tadè
Atanda
Iyawo oga

Nice writeup

Just that the bit on vision is not very clear cut.

What vision can a young man in a 3rd world country have?
The vision will be blurry at best since there are so many uncertainties to contend with. Just that a man with drive will more likely be able to surmount obstacles in life, so even without a clear cut vision, having drive and a target of success should count even if the young man can not articulate a clear vision on how to achieve success.

Be financially stable before venturing into marriage. Love is not enough.