₦airaland Forum

U are surviving nah. But not for long bro

First lie 4kids (10&6&??)

Oh I really think up should just give her 200K and buy everything yourself
Maybe it should reduce cost!

Women would always complain even if you’re giving her a Million

ruffhandu:
Hello people,
Please I need some advice.
We live in PH, and have 4 kids. The oldest is 10 while the youngest is 6. I give my wife 700k every month, and this includes general upkeep and maintenace and fuelling of our car (Lexus 330). I don't drive the car (I dey leg, while she uses it to run around, which includes school runs and her business).

I no dey chuk eye for her business. Bu I am getting frustrated as she still makes me believe that the money is not enough. I pay electricity bill (band A) and house rent (3m pa) yet every now and then she puts bills on my head. It is driving me crazy.

When I tell her to list out her expenses so I plan with her, she picks offence. I am really tired of the whole thing and don't know how else to approach the issue without causing too much problem. I know some men whose salaries are 250k-300k in PH, yet they are surviving.

Take charge of your home. If you work yourself to death, another man will enjoy your sweat

ruffhandu:
Thank you my brother. If I am in charge, I go very low, I no send anybody because nobody feeds me.

Yes, she makes fresh juice every morning for their lunch in school. The kids got tired of the fresh juice that they ignore it and return with it sometimes. Now she buys other drnks like yoghurt, chocolate and milkshake. Said she will be alternating them so they still drink the fresh juice when she gives them.

She complains i am too strict, and sometimes go for cheap things at the expense of quality. Always blackmailing me with the kids' health. That was why I withdrew a bit, before I'll be blamed if my kids fall sick. But, no be naija we dey? They still fall sick once in a while. It was in that regards she stopped them from drinking any other water but Eva.

I know some of these are not neccessary, but I just look away sometimes in order not to be 'too' strict'.

For comparison of standard, it's a NO. She knows nobody dares that in my house. Na she just set the standard, which if allowed, i will definitely lower it. Once in a while we dey clash, but you know how e dey be.

Stop buying Eva water. Buy Cway water. Put the water in water bottles. You would still maintain standards. Try that in other aspects in the house too. Buy bulk items not small, small, it's cheaper that way. Instead of using expensive detergent or toothpaste, use cheaper ones. I started doing same when I got a shop.

NoToPile:
Depending on your families 'standard' considering the cost of feeding and ' every other thing your family needs apart from school fees then 700k is not too much.

Basically what I see here is a standard.

Is your family the rice krispies, peak milk only, expensive cereals type? No akamu once a while? (even akamu sef is costly)

Feeding is crazily expensive, all groceries are crazily expensive. Does she make fresh juices for your children etc etc. It all depends on the standard. Is the car taken everywhere instead of entering Keke sometimes? Every other thing needed for the house too is crazily expensive these days.
Do you guys subconsciously feel you need to meet up with a particular standard in the area you live?
Do you guys have to run Gen always once there's no light etc etc.


All These above are factors. And all these big big amount has little value these days. Full tank of 60liters plus is a lot of money now.


What I will advise you do is talk to her on how you guys can reduce cost, since you are feeling strained already reduce the standard a bit, so that some cash can be squeezed out, good thing you don't have toddlers your children are of the age they will understand small small, some extras can be Withdrawn. Most families are now joining heads together on how things can work finaincially these days.

I am more than certain that it is food that takes a large chunk of that amount. What we put in our mouth costs so much more these days.


It is well bros.

Wetin 10&6 years old children wan dey chop

Mk the woman just maintain composure Brett she pressure the man into doing something else

I think that's too small cos me dey give my yet to be wife 500k every month me and her feeding..

ruffhandu:
Hello people,
Please I need some advice.
We live in PH, and have 4 kids. The oldest is 10 while the youngest is 6. I give my wife 700k every month, and this includes general upkeep and maintenace and fuelling of our car (Lexus 330). I don't drive the car (I dey leg, while she uses it to run around, which includes school runs and her business).

I no dey chuk eye for her business. Bu I am getting frustrated as she still makes me believe that the money is not enough. I pay electricity bill (band A) and house rent (3m pa) yet every now and then she puts bills on my head. It is driving me crazy.

When I tell her to list out her expenses so I plan with her, she picks offence. I am really tired of the whole thing and don't know how else to approach the issue without causing too much problem. I know some men whose salaries are 250k-300k in PH, yet they are surviving.

u marry ungrateful human

Dogalmighty17:
You don't have a wife. What you have is someone using you to cash out. 700k is more than what some men give their wives for a whole year and yet you do that in just a month. Something isn't right.

Your wife may be building somewhere or saving up money to move without you soon. I don't blame her. You are comfortable that's why you can be so wasteful.

Going forward, do not give her anything monthly, rather, let her write down everything she thinks the expense of the month will be. Let her list them down together with their prices before you give her any money.
Make a visual confirmation of any purchase once it is done.

You need to put your wife on a leash else she may be your ruin. That you can afford things easily now doesn't mean that will always be the case and then you will see the true color of this woman.

Take this advice and move on

ruffhandu:
Thank you my brother. If I am in charge, I go very low, I no send anybody because nobody feeds me.

Yes, she makes fresh juice every morning for their lunch in school. The kids got tired of the fresh juice that they ignore it and return with it sometimes. Now she buys other drnks like yoghurt, chocolate and milkshake. Said she will be alternating them so they still drink the fresh juice when she gives them.

She complains i am too strict, and sometimes go for cheap things at the expense of quality. Always blackmailing me with the kids' health. That was why I withdrew a bit, before I'll be blamed if my kids fall sick. But, no be naija we dey? They still fall sick once in a while. It was in that regards she stopped them from drinking any other water but Eva.

I know some of these are not neccessary, but I just look away sometimes in order not to be 'too' strict'.

For comparison of standard, it's a NO. She knows nobody dares that in my house. Na she just set the standard, which if allowed, i will definitely lower it. Once in a while we dey clash, but you know how e dey be.

Big bros I no say make u no give ur wife 700million naira/month o, but abeg do DNA test for your children before things go too far sha.

Dogalmighty17:
You don't have a wife. What you have is someone using you to cash out. 700k is more than what some men give their wives for a whole year and yet you do that in just a month. Something isn't right.

Your wife may be building somewhere or saving up money to move without you soon. I don't blame her. You are comfortable that's why you can be so wasteful.

Going forward, do not give her anything monthly, rather, let her write down everything she thinks the expense of the month will be. Let her list them down together with thier prices before you give her any money.
Make a visual confirmation of any purchase once it is done.

You need to put your wife on a leash else she may be your ruin. That you can afford things easily now doesn't mean that will always be the case and then you will see the true color of this woman.

.... my brother the thing weak me, 700k a month weytin una dey chop for that self ?

It's not too small

churro:
You are living in a rented house and spending N700k a month just on food and fuel? That's too much! You'll need to lower your standard of living. What if you experience a temporary setback in your job or business over several months or a few years? I don't wish you bad o, but things happen!
Your wife is the one setting the standard and not the kids. It is her desires and fears that she's projecting onto the kids, and making them get used to getting branded quality meals all the time. It is what you give your kids that they'll become used to overtime.
Give her less, invest more (money market fund, FGN bonds, sukuk, treasury bills, stocks etc), save more, plan for your future. Your kids are still small, they'll need much more funding as they grow.

From his explanation, he's spending close to 1.5m monthly. I just hope he's saving at least one million monthly. If he's able to do that, he can continue spending. If he's unable to save 1m a month, he should cut down on his expenditures and he would survive. It's not easy but it's doable.

tosinhtml:
The problem started in the early years of the marriage, you exposed yourself financially. Most women are not good with money and they do not save for the rainy day. They spend this way because they have never had to be self sufficient in their lives. Most times only women who are 1st born daughters of the families have the savings mindset, some do not even care because their livelihood has never depended on them alone.

You definitely exposed yourself financially to your wife in such a way where she wants to exhaust all that is available until you are down bad. Please note that this is not gold digging, that's another thing entirely. This is simply financial indiscipline.

The solution is to either fake a job loss, or some financial set back in your business.

Sooner most men will learn that love is different from finance and should not be mixed together.

that's y people need to keep there salary secret once u marry,else if it not exhausted ur partner will find it that u are stingy or cheating oh him or her do to small contribution such brings

Rayd502:
700k and she can't keep it together for a month?Your wife is going over the top really. Maybe she knows how much you earn and feels she deserves more.700k can sustain the average Nigerian family and there will be nothing lacking in regards to feeding and groceries.

If you pay sch fees then your wife is not a good manager.

You need to sit her down and get involved in the family expenditures.

He's not involved. He should give her money daily even if it's transfer and he should record his expenditures on an app like money manager etc and see how much he spends monthly. He may end up willingly giving her the money as before. But he should cut costs. Some things can wait, some are not necessary.

ShogunNoName:
Shouldn't this be discussed amongst family members or close friends?

Why bring this here ?

Villa12:
I don't understand bro.

The best advice in life doesnt always originate from family members.

ruffhandu:
Hello people,
Please I need some advice.
We live in PH, and have 4 kids. The oldest is 10 while the youngest is 6. I give my wife 700k every month, and this includes general upkeep and maintenace and fuelling of our car (Lexus 330). I don't drive the car (I dey leg, while she uses it to run around, which includes school runs and her business).

I no dey chuk eye for her business. Bu I am getting frustrated as she still makes me believe that the money is not enough. I pay electricity bill (band A) and house rent (3m pa) yet every now and then she puts bills on my head. It is driving me crazy.

When I tell her to list out her expenses so I plan with her, she picks offence. I am really tired of the whole thing and don't know how else to approach the issue without causing too much problem. I know some men whose salaries are 250k-300k in PH, yet they are surviving.

E be like say u marry Saida Boj elder sister

Op... do you mean 70k abi 700k?? Because I no understand. Una de slaughter goat everyday ni?

Gerrard59:
Especially in Nigeria where childcare costs don't exist unlike say the UK.

The first statement is also another point. Wetin she dey use her money do?

I really don't know for the dude & his wife but child care costs in Nigeria is almost next to nothing, I cannot be gaslighted when I know I can easily pay 300k or less each month for a walk-in child care service.

churro:
You are living in a rented house and spending N700k a month just on food and fuel? That's too much! You'll need to lower your standard of living. What if you experience a temporary setback in your job or business over several months or a few years? I don't wish you bad o, but things happen!
Your wife is the one setting the standard and not the kids. It is her desires and fears that she's projecting onto the kids, and making them get used to getting branded quality meals all the time. It is what you give your kids that they'll become used to overtime.
Give her less, invest more (money market fund, FGN bonds, sukuk, treasury bills, stocks etc), save more, plan for your future. Your kids are still small, they'll need much more funding as they grow.

..... the thing weak me, I take it if he's giving the wife 700k a month he must be saving at least one million a month for rainy day or to start a project down the road.

NoToPile:
Depending on your families 'standard' considering the cost of feeding and ' every other thing your family needs apart from school fees then 700k is not too much.

Basically what I see here is a standard.

Is your family the rice krispies, peak milk only, expensive cereals type? No akamu once a while? (even akamu sef is costly)

Feeding is crazily expensive, all groceries are crazily expensive. Does she make fresh juices for your children etc etc. It all depends on the standard. Is the car taken everywhere instead of entering Keke sometimes? Every other thing needed for the house too is crazily expensive these days.
Do you guys subconsciously feel you need to meet up with a particular standard in the area you live?
Do you guys have to run Gen always once there's no light etc etc.


All These above are factors. And all these big big amount has little value these days. Full tank of 60liters plus is a lot of money now.


What I will advise you do is talk to her on how you guys can reduce cost, since you are feeling strained already reduce the standard a bit, so that some cash can be squeezed out, good thing you don't have toddlers your children are of the age they will understand small small, some extras can be Withdrawn. Most families are now joining heads together on how things can work finaincially these days.

I am more than certain that it is food that takes a large chunk of that amount. What we put in our mouth costs so much more these days.


It is well bros.

I am sure your wife is not collecting 50k per month.700k na dangote daughter? Mind you in a rented apartment and just a car. Oga na lie.

ruffhandu:
Hello people,
Please I need some advice.
We live in PH, and have 4 kids. The oldest is 10 while the youngest is 6. I give my wife 700k every month, and this includes general upkeep and maintenace and fuelling of our car (Lexus 330). I don't drive the car (I dey leg, while she uses it to run around, which includes school runs and her business).

I no dey chuk eye for her business. Bu I am getting frustrated as she still makes me believe that the money is not enough. I pay electricity bill (band A) and house rent (3m pa) yet every now and then she puts bills on my head. It is driving me crazy.

When I tell her to list out her expenses so I plan with her, she picks offence. I am really tired of the whole thing and don't know how else to approach the issue without causing too much problem. I know some men whose salaries are 250k-300k in PH, yet they are surviving.

Bros, ensure you build your house and move out of that expensive house/neighborhood ASAP.

Villa12:
have you heard from the other party? Why using such words defraud please?

This ignorant kid again!

Simply tell her to cut expenses and see how she can generate something from what is been given. 700k monthly is okay.

Mak I help you analyze how to spend 300K monthly (Standard)

Rice - 1 bag- 80K
Supplement-100K incl. milk and water and children’s snacks
Other food stuffs -70K
Fuel- 50K
Total -300K


If she use 70+ liters of fuel before month end mak she use her business money run am

Simple.

You’re a man with 4Kids and you this wasteful!

Don’t pray to see SHEGE‼️

ruffhandu:
Hello people,
Please I need some advice.
We live in PH, and have 4 kids. The oldest is 10 while the youngest is 6. I give my wife 700k every month, and this includes general upkeep and maintenace and fuelling of our car (Lexus 330). I don't drive the car (I dey leg, while she uses it to run around, which includes school runs and her business).

I no dey chuk eye for her business. Bu I am getting frustrated as she still makes me believe that the money is not enough. I pay electricity bill (band A) and house rent (3m pa) yet every now and then she puts bills on my head. It is driving me crazy.

When I tell her to list out her expenses so I plan with her, she picks offence. I am really tired of the whole thing and don't know how else to approach the issue without causing too much problem. I know some men whose salaries are 250k-300k in PH, yet they are surviving.

she don see money already nah and she is comparing what u are giving her to the other amount left.lol when they tell us women are complex this na one typical example of it.

This looks like a fat life
But wetin I know

3m for rent
And 700k on food and utility
Bros u can lie

I'm surprised you earn such and still live in a rented apartment. It's your money though.

Joy2dworldxyz:
I think that's too small cos me dey give my yet to be wife 500k every month me and her feeding..

If na to kill our self with lies here,abeg bring it on. Me I dey give me wife 700k per week and 2.8m per month yet the thing no reach and I am still owing landlord.Yeye

700k monthly for your wife and she's still complaining? Wow , just wow in fact, simply wow

kpompey:
I am sure your wife is not collecting 50k per month.700k na dangote daughter? Mind you in a rented apartment and just a car. Oga na lie.

lol . another possibility may be the wife codedly building house somewhere

ruffhandu:
Hello people,
Please I need some advice.
We live in PH, and have 4 kids. The oldest is 10 while the youngest is 6. I give my wife 700k every month, and this includes general upkeep and maintenace and fuelling of our car (Lexus 330). I don't drive the car (I dey leg, while she uses it to run around, which includes school runs and her business).

I no dey chuk eye for her business. Bu I am getting frustrated as she still makes me believe that the money is not enough. I pay electricity bill (band A) and house rent (3m pa) yet every now and then she puts bills on my head. It is driving me crazy.

When I tell her to list out her expenses so I plan with her, she picks offence. I am really tired of the whole thing and don't know how else to approach the issue without causing too much problem. I know some men whose salaries are 250k-300k in PH, yet they are surviving.

700k is enough.

She is either spending it on helping her struggling relatives or her business is not profitable and eating the monthly upkeep.


Does it include clothing of the kids and herself; if it does, then that could be the problem.

Tjra:
4 kids and you want 700k per month to be enough in PH? Impossible

Your wife is not cheating you. Things are super expensive.

So, how about that unsatisfied wife adding 300,000 to it from her own pocket to make it 1million