₦airaland Forum

BlindAngel:
Good afternoon Nairalanders, my wife gave birth last week which was Saturday July 13th, that day was also my birthday, she gave birth through CS, this is our first child, and it's a boy.


This week Saturday is our baby's naming ceremony but my wife is insisting that her pastor must be the one officiate the naming the child, we've been disagreeing over this for some couple of days now,

she has called me all sorts of names, insulted me that I'm a very wicked man that I have no conscience, that after she pain and tearing she went through and still going through, I can't make this as a sacrifice for her, that I choose my family over her. She said so because my family also insist too that the naming must be done by our pastor.

But she's keying on the fact that she won't agree for the naming to be done in my church that it must be done by her pastor, she has cried and insulted me regarding this. Yesterday when we were arguing about this same particular issue she starting crying endlessly and calling me a wicked man.

I have finally agreed for her to use her pastor to do the naming, although I don't know her pastor and haven't seen him before, but I only agreed because of the CS operation she did while giving birth, her endless crying might affect her, if not there's absolutely no way possible I'd have agreed.

I must say that she doesn't know the repercussions of what sha has done by challenging my authority and always wanting to have her way with tears all the time. But time sha tell, I'm in so much rage right now, and I'm trying my possible best to control myself and not to loose my anger over this.

.
The moment you married her she was supposed to follow you to your church. That the greatest mistake you made. My wife & I agreed that she will go with me to my church so that was no issue but she has a prayer meeting which she attends and insisted we must do child dedication which I disagreed but later succumbed. We finally had to do it both in her prayer meeting & our church after many days of quarreling. My advice is after now she must stop her church and attend yours with u

You have tacitly agreed to allow the "real" father of the child to Christian him/her

Good day my brother, I login to my account because of your post. Please my brother, I want you to stay calm and don't rush to make decision that may destroy your marriage.

As touching the naming ceremony of your baby coming up this Saturday, it's my earnest prayer that it will be successful in Jesus name. Please don't change your mind on her pastor doing the christening since you have agreed to it to pacify her but please and please don't let this ever repeat itself in your marriage again. If you fail as a leader of your home, you will soon crash- land ( I am not cursing you). Communicate with your wife and do that which will make both of you happy. Shalom

You don’t know your wife’s pastor?
Besides, should your family be the ones’ to decide who officiates your “whatever”or you?
You better set your priorities right.

BlindAngel:
Good afternoon Nairalanders, my wife gave birth last week which was Saturday July 13th, that day was also my birthday, she gave birth through CS, this is our first child, and it's a boy.


This week Saturday is our baby's naming ceremony but my wife is insisting that her pastor must be the one officiate the naming the child, we've been disagreeing over this for some couple of days now,

she has called me all sorts of names, insulted me that I'm a very wicked man that I have no conscience, that after she pain and tearing she went through and still going through, I can't make this as a sacrifice for her, that I choose my family over her. She said so because my family also insist too that the naming must be done by our pastor.

But she's keying on the fact that she won't agree for the naming to be done in my church that it must be done by her pastor, she has cried and insulted me regarding this. Yesterday when we were arguing about this same particular issue she starting crying endlessly and calling me a wicked man.

I have finally agreed for her to use her pastor to do the naming, although I don't know her pastor and haven't seen him before, but I only agreed because of the CS operation she did while giving birth, her endless crying might affect her, if not there's absolutely no way possible I'd have agreed.

I must say that she doesn't know the repercussions of what sha has done by challenging my authority and always wanting to have her way with tears all the time. But time sha tell, I'm in so much rage right now, and I'm trying my possible best to control myself and not to loose my anger over this.

chukuemekasimpleson are u a man..stop disgracing us who are men so that jannyclay will not generalize and say all men are Simpson..why is it wife attending a different chc from yours u have to settle that matter firsts...where will it children now fellowship since both of u are vector quantities...some men are not supposed to be called men..if u had settle this chc issue immediately after ur marriage u would have dogde this prob..kid man up and show ur authority and stop disturbing reasonable men like us

BlindAngel:
That's the church she was attending before we got married, so I don't want to stop her in order for it not to seems like I'm wicked and for her not to call me names.

Yesterday she reminded me that after our marriage my family forced her to do thanks giving at our church. She has been saying this for long, but stopped, until yesterday.

I told her that doing thanks giving at our church is now a bad thing or something that's forceful?

She cried a lot yesterday because of our argument of this naming.

Same tears she used in forcing me into getting married to her when I wasn't in anyway ready.

Wow, but I think a wife should attend her husband church after marriage, how can she be dragging church thanksgiving with you, there is something fishy about that her church

@Blindangel u are a disgrace to men.how can u allow a woman control an manipulate you with crocodile tears.u are about to shelter for a bastard u call son.her pastor is the father of the boy.the handwriting is clear.how can a woman u marry with ur money disrespect an doesnt bear ur name.her pastor as been fucking the SLUT u better send her packing before she render u hopeless,useless,miserable completely.truth been told

BlindAngel:
It seems I have been too easy and quiet on her, I will do as you say and ban her from going to that church and if she refused, she should pack her load and go back to her parents house, I have really condole enough of her rubbish and tears at any slight arguments.

I paid 396k for her cs operation, and no where my name or surname appeared on the receipt that was given to me, it's her name and her father's name that was on it. This is because after marriage she has not changed her surname to my name, this hurt me a lot because her elder sister that is just a baby mama to her boyfriend has already changed her Facebook sur name to her boyfriend surname. Whereas my wife is still answering her father's name, I have told myself that if she can't think and do this willingly, I will never and ever confront her concerning this.

I have been allowing her to do whatever she want but this, she has over stepped her boundaries, seems I have been too easy on her.

Where una dey see this type of wife sef.

She doesn't fear and respect you, that is why. A homely or respectful woman will always support her husband decisions pertaining issue you are fighting on. As a head of the family you have every right to invite your own pastor. She also have a right to do so but that must be after you have agreed to her request.

Besides, you made a mistake by arguing with her. You should've simply tell her to bring her own pastor too only after you must have concluded naming program with yours. I am very sure her pastor himself will tell her not to worry again after hearing that.

Please read: Mark 10 vs 7-9.

If you allow the wish of your wife to prevail then just know that
1. You have been spiritually manipulated.
2 The so called pastor might likely be the biological father of your self acclaimed innocent baby. Do DNA in a TRUSTED laboratory unknown to your wife, wife's pastor or any of their cronies
3. One day wether the child is yours or not, you will remember this period and say had I know.
4. You're the real wife while your wife is the husband
5 They finally got you
Summarily, it is better to claim your authority NOW before it's too late. Don't let your case be like IT IS BETTER TO MARRY LATE AND GET MARRIED THAN MARRY EARLY AND NOT MARRIED. The names your wife wants to give to the baby are undoubtedly given by the pastor and that's the name they will be calling the innocent baby. Eni awi fun, oba je o gbo. Ire ooooooooo

You are a simp,when we dey tell una sey make una take the redpill una no dey gree,now see how woman de manipulate you.
For you to allow your wife to continue worshipping in that Church after you married her just to please d her show you are a woman wrapper.Now letting her Paster officiating the naming of your first child portrays she is the one wearing the trousers in the house .if I was in your father’s position I will disband you.you and Will Siimp na same catigori.

Take life easy my brother, just for a pastor to officially give a child name don turn war, life is not suppose to be hard, we take it too serious and at the end nothing they life, you think these small small boys here have any meaningful thing to tell you, very soon they will tell to go do DNA test maybe na her pastor nack her bla bla bla

GboyegaD:
Oga, you are allowing too many people in your ears. Which one is she is controlling you again? Isn't that expected of you both? Many a times, for couples, there's always that midpoint which to an outsider, it is natural to feel one is controlling the other. It is a loop hole you are putting in your home. You should learn to let things be settled between you both and when you need external advice, seek from people who have nothing to interest in either party otherwise, you will listen to lob sided advice.

shut up ewedu.....awon gentleman peace loving husband....

Let me not call you names but let me start from here, This is manipulation and don't give in for that. For her to reason the way she did I won't be surprised if she is wicked and resentful. Stand your ground and insist you both decide on the child's name and naming done by your church pastor if you're sure the child belongs to you. you allowed her to attend a different church from yours and as if that's not enough she wants her church pastor to do the naming and tomorrow she will make the child to attend her church. in the long run the child will have no regard for you and you will start wondering how you get to where you are. For the record this is where the journey start, just incase you want to look back in the future to figure out where you mess up in respect to this issue

BlindAngel:
Good afternoon Nairalanders, my wife gave birth last week which was Saturday July 13th, that day was also my birthday, she gave birth through CS, this is our first child, and it's a boy.


This week Saturday is our baby's naming ceremony but my wife is insisting that her pastor must be the one officiate the naming the child, we've been disagreeing over this for some couple of days now,

she has called me all sorts of names, insulted me that I'm a very wicked man that I have no conscience, that after she pain and tearing she went through and still going through, I can't make this as a sacrifice for her, that I choose my family over her. She said so because my family also insist too that the naming must be done by our pastor.

But she's keying on the fact that she won't agree for the naming to be done in my church that it must be done by her pastor, she has cried and insulted me regarding this. Yesterday when we were arguing about this same particular issue she starting crying endlessly and calling me a wicked man.

I have finally agreed for her to use her pastor to do the naming, although I don't know her pastor and haven't seen him before, but I only agreed because of the CS operation she did while giving birth, her endless crying might affect her, if not there's absolutely no way possible I'd have agreed.

I must say that she doesn't know the repercussions of what sha has done by challenging my authority and always wanting to have her way with tears all the time. But time sha tell, I'm in so much rage right now, and I'm trying my possible best to control myself and not to loose my anger over this.

What is d essence of telling us that ur wife birthed via CS..tafia who ask u

BlindAngel:
That's the church she was attending before we got married, so I don't want to stop her in order for it not to seems like I'm wicked and for her not to call me names.

Yesterday she reminded me that after our marriage my family forced her to do thanks giving at our church. She has been saying this for long, but stopped, until yesterday.

I told her that doing thanks giving at our church is now a bad thing or something that's forceful?

She cried a lot yesterday because of our argument of this naming.

Same tears she used in forcing me into getting married to her when I wasn't in anyway ready.

This your last paragraph got me weak. You allowed someone manipulate you with tears, and she's still using the same tactics on you.

DNA needed.

yemmit90:
Where una dey see this type of wife sef.

She doesn't fear and respect you, that is why. A homely or respectful woman will always support her husband decisions pertaining issue you are fighting on. As a head of the family you have every right to invite your own pastor. See also have a right to do so but that must be after you have agreed to her request.

Besides, you made a mistake by arguing with her. You should've simply tell her to bring her own pastor too only after you must have concluded naming program with yours. I am very sure her pastor himself will tell her not to worry again after hearing that.

ur harsh ooo dint even edit ur words .....op fit drink sniper after reading ur comment o...

BlindAngel:
Good afternoon Nairalanders, my wife gave birth last week which was Saturday July 13th, that day was also my birthday, she gave birth through CS, this is our first child, and it's a boy.


This week Saturday is our baby's naming ceremony but my wife is insisting that her pastor must be the one officiate the naming the child, we've been disagreeing over this for some couple of days now,

she has called me all sorts of names, insulted me that I'm a very wicked man that I have no conscience, that after she pain and tearing she went through and still going through, I can't make this as a sacrifice for her, that I choose my family over her. She said so because my family also insist too that the naming must be done by our pastor.

But she's keying on the fact that she won't agree for the naming to be done in my church that it must be done by her pastor, she has cried and insulted me regarding this. Yesterday when we were arguing about this same particular issue she starting crying endlessly and calling me a wicked man.

I have finally agreed for her to use her pastor to do the naming, although I don't know her pastor and haven't seen him before, but I only agreed because of the CS operation she did while giving birth, her endless crying might affect her, if not there's absolutely no way possible I'd have agreed.

I must say that she doesn't know the repercussions of what sha has done by challenging my authority and always wanting to have her way with tears all the time. But time sha tell, I'm in so much rage right now, and I'm trying my possible best to control myself and not to loose my anger over this.

So my advice is, STOP!
Yes, my friend, you did not marry a woman, the woman married you. Let me explain:

Your wife's duty is to respect you while you love her. Part of respect is acceptance. She does not respect your opinion and uses feminine manipulations to get her way. This will get worse over time, apply to most situations, make you miserable, and emotionally drive you away from your home.

This pastor is in your living room, your kitchen, your bedroom, even your closet. If you don't stand your ground and banish him from your marriage this minute, he will run your home, he will ruin your relationship with your wife, and he will destroy your marriage when you finally wake up to resist his interference.

Families can always choose to belong to different congregations or to unite their congregation. But you also have the right to demand that your wife join your church permanently. This should have been clarified before the marriage, and should be one of the agreements you must try to clarify now.

Put the naming ceremony on hold and sort out what is what first, including a DNA test. That being said, there are probably other issues around your wife that may make the current disagreement a child's play.

BlindAngel:
That's the church she was attending before we got married, so I don't want to stop her in order for it not to seems like I'm wicked and for her not to call me names.

Yesterday she reminded me that after our marriage my family forced her to do thanks giving at our church. She has been saying this for long, but stopped, until yesterday.

I told her that doing thanks giving at our church is now a bad thing or something that's forceful?

She cried a lot yesterday because of our argument of this naming.

Same tears she used in forcing me into getting married to her when I wasn't in anyway ready.

She is a control frick
And she is using cry to manipulate you into being controlled.
Your wife is a time bomb!

One thing I love about marriage is that the little issue u fail to addressed immediately it arises will eventually turn to a big prob waiting for u in the nearest future.imagine if this simp had stood his ground immediately after the wedding we wouldn't be here

BlindAngel:
We both have agreed on the name, she suggested it and i agreed, though it pains me that I wasn't the one that came up with the name fully, but we've already agreed and changing my mind right now will lead to an heavy quarrel and lot's of endless crying from her. That I'm wicked and heartless that after we've both agreed, I changed things.

You are just her intimacy gadget honestly.
You are not the husband.
I am sorry to say!

I hope those people giving advices here are married


OP, personally, I don't see anything wrong with her request.
Na you know who you marry and best to determine if she is trying to manipulate you or not.

However, don't loss guide.

BlindAngel:
That's the church she was attending before we got married, so I don't want to stop her in order for it not to seems like I'm wicked and for her not to call me names.

Yesterday she reminded me that after our marriage my family forced her to do thanks giving at our church. She has been saying this for long, but stopped, until yesterday.

I told her that doing thanks giving at our church is now a bad thing or something that's forceful?

She cried a lot yesterday because of our argument of this naming.

Same tears she used in forcing me into getting married to her when I wasn't in anyway ready.

see how u confuse ur marriage life cuz u fail to learn..una go just they live life anyhow..u are suppose to do ur wedding in ur wife's church while the Thanksgiving is done in the man's church..kids getting married wat a show of shame

BlindAngel:
That's the church she was attending before we got married, so I don't want to stop her in order for it not to seems like I'm wicked and for her not to call me names.

Yesterday she reminded me that after our marriage my family forced her to do thanks giving at our church. She has been saying this for long, but stopped, until yesterday.

I told her that doing thanks giving at our church is now a bad thing or something that's forceful?

She cried a lot yesterday because of our argument of this naming.

Same tears she used in forcing me into getting married to her when I wasn't in anyway ready.

wahalur

She was going to the church before she got married to you, was she not staying in her father's house before she got married to you? She could have as well gone back to her father's house na. See don't let me bite you o. This is seriously annoying me right now

BlindAngel:
That's the church she was attending before we got married, so I don't want to stop her in order for it not to seems like I'm wicked and for her not to call me names.

Yesterday she reminded me that after our marriage my family forced her to do thanks giving at our church. She has been saying this for long, but stopped, until yesterday.

I told her that doing thanks giving at our church is now a bad thing or something that's forceful?

She cried a lot yesterday because of our argument of this naming.

Same tears she used in forcing me into getting married to her when I wasn't in anyway ready.

3kay945:
I hope those people giving advices here are married


OP, personally, I don't see anything wrong with her request.
Na you know who you marry and best to determine if she is trying to manipulate you or not.

However, don't loss guide.

everything is wrong...first and foremost she is suppose to fellowship in her husband church..now that two of them don't have bearing and direction who will thier children follow to chc..maybe them go dey alternate am..he is d head of the house and he makes the decision..a wife is suppose to be submissive and obedient...what do I know..most guys now na yanch they make them marry...I will cope..I will cope done scatter many homes

Gr8mind07:
Bro,it's obvious you have been a victim of her manipulating tactics since courtship .

Whatever the background church of a lady, it is expected the she bids the church bye - bye at the wedding ceremony and follows her husband to his church. This is the reason that marriage is conducted in the lady's church and thanksgiving at the Man's church.

Even her so called Pastor knows this.

You sabi work

BlindAngel:
Good afternoon Nairalanders, my wife gave birth last week which was Saturday July 13th, that day was also my birthday, she gave birth through CS, this is our first child, and it's a boy.


This week Saturday is our baby's naming ceremony but my wife is insisting that her pastor must be the one officiate the naming the child, we've been disagreeing over this for some couple of days now,

she has called me all sorts of names, insulted me that I'm a very wicked man that I have no conscience, that after she pain and tearing she went through and still going through, I can't make this as a sacrifice for her, that I choose my family over her. She said so because my family also insist too that the naming must be done by our pastor.

But she's keying on the fact that she won't agree for the naming to be done in my church that it must be done by her pastor, she has cried and insulted me regarding this. Yesterday when we were arguing about this same particular issue she starting crying endlessly and calling me a wicked man.

I have finally agreed for her to use her pastor to do the naming, although I don't know her pastor and haven't seen him before, but I only agreed because of the CS operation she did while giving birth, her endless crying might affect her, if not there's absolutely no way possible I'd have agreed.

I must say that she doesn't know the repercussions of what sha has done by challenging my authority and always wanting to have her way with tears all the time. But time sha tell, I'm in so much rage right now, and I'm trying my possible best to control myself and not to loose my anger over this.

How did u and ur wife end in different church and u don't know her pastor.
U married her out of the church. Hold ur ground.

No ever carry your marriage matter come Nairaland... All this online in-laws wey no know their left from their right dey give advice.

You might end up destroying ur marriage. Bros calm down. You will get your honor !

BlindAngel:
Good afternoon Nairalanders, my wife gave birth last week which was Saturday July 13th, that day was also my birthday, she gave birth through CS, this is our first child, and it's a boy.


This week Saturday is our baby's naming ceremony but my wife is insisting that her pastor must be the one officiate the naming the child, we've been disagreeing over this for some couple of days now,

she has called me all sorts of names, insulted me that I'm a very wicked man that I have no conscience, that after she pain and tearing she went through and still going through, I can't make this as a sacrifice for her, that I choose my family over her. She said so because my family also insist too that the naming must be done by our pastor.

But she's keying on the fact that she won't agree for the naming to be done in my church that it must be done by her pastor, she has cried and insulted me regarding this. Yesterday when we were arguing about this same particular issue she starting crying endlessly and calling me a wicked man.

I have finally agreed for her to use her pastor to do the naming, although I don't know her pastor and haven't seen him before, but I only agreed because of the CS operation she did while giving birth, her endless crying might affect her, if not there's absolutely no way possible I'd have agreed.

I must say that she doesn't know the repercussions of what sha has done by challenging my authority and always wanting to have her way with tears all the time. But time sha tell, I'm in so much rage right now, and I'm trying my possible best to control myself and not to loose my anger over this.

There is nothing i can say than to say a VERY BIG SHAME ON YOU. Pls don’t call your self a man of the house. From the beginning of your marriage you have failed woefully and be ready to face the consequences as time pass by. You will regret it sooner than later if you don’t man up and be responsible.

BlindAngel:
That's the church she was attending before we got married, so I don't want to stop her in order for it not to seems like I'm wicked and for her not to call me names.

Yesterday she reminded me that after our marriage my family forced her to do thanks giving at our church. She has been saying this for long, but stopped, until yesterday.

I told her that doing thanks giving at our church is now a bad thing or something that's forceful?

She cried a lot yesterday because of our argument of this naming.

Same tears she used in forcing me into getting married to her when I wasn't in anyway ready.

so if woman follow her hus go him CHC na wickedness..ur wife pastor will rot in hell for not teaching ur wife the thruth

why did you allow unnecessary cry in your house for God sake? tell me where you hold in that marriage...

she never see you sensible enough to make decisions or to rule over her. you are only good in going out to fetch for her while she sit at home like a king and rule over you using crying as weapon.

you think say paternity frauds na when couples get issue or dey quarrel e dey happen, hahahaha, you never know woman.