₦airaland Forum

This is not even my problem,my problem is I was vommiting this morning and I decided to go to pharmacy to buy pregnancy test kit.. then on my way going, I remembered I'm a man 🙄🙄

BlindAngel:
Good afternoon Nairalanders, my wife gave birth last week which was Saturday July 13th, that day was also my birthday, she gave birth through CS, this is our first child, and it's a boy.


This week Saturday is our baby's naming ceremony but my wife is insisting that her pastor must be the one officiate the naming the child, we've been disagreeing over this for some couple of days now,

she has called me all sorts of names, insulted me that I'm a very wicked man that I have no conscience, that after she pain and tearing she went through and still going through, I can't make this as a sacrifice for her, that I choose my family over her. She said so because my family also insist too that the naming must be done by our pastor.

But she's keying on the fact that she won't agree for the naming to be done in my church that it must be done by her pastor, she has cried and insulted me regarding this. Yesterday when we were arguing about this same particular issue she starting crying endlessly and calling me a wicked man.

I have finally agreed for her to use her pastor to do the naming, although I don't know her pastor and haven't seen him before, but I only agreed because of the CS operation she did while giving birth, her endless crying might affect her, if not there's absolutely no way possible I'd have agreed.

I must say that she doesn't know the repercussions of what sha has done by challenging my authority and always wanting to have her way with tears all the time. But time sha tell, I'm in so much rage right now, and I'm trying my possible best to control myself and not to loose my anger over this.

Try to obey your wife at first before you stamp your way otherwise you could be heading for divorce if you continue to struggle with her.

She is just being petty. Let her cry me a river. Why would a couple worship at different churches? Didnt you discuss it before marriage. Man up and stand your ground. Na so see finish dey take start o. Know when to say " yes " and when to say no " no". I am a woman too, I don't support nonsense.

BlindAngel:
It seems I have been too easy and quiet on her, I will do as you say and ban her from going to that church and if she refused, she should pack her load and go back to her parents house, I have really condole enough of her rubbish and tears at any slight arguments.

I paid 396k for her cs operation, and no where my name or surname appeared on the receipt that was given to me, it's her name and her father's name that was on it. This is because after marriage she has not changed her surname to my name, this hurt me a lot because her elder sister that is just a baby mama to her boyfriend has already changed her Facebook sur name to her boyfriend surname. Whereas my wife is still answering her father's name, I have told myself that if she can't think and do this willingly, I will never and ever confront her concerning this.

I have been allowing her to do whatever she want but this, she has over stepped her boundaries, seems I have been too easy on her.

She is just being petty. Let her cry me a river. Why would a couple worship at different churches? Didn't you discuss it before marriage. Man up and stand your ground. Na so see finish dey take start o. Know when to say " yes " and when to say " no". I am a woman too, I don't support nonsense.

BlindAngel:
It seems I have been too easy and quiet on her, I will do as you say and ban her from going to that church and if she refused, she should pack her load and go back to her parents house, I have really condole enough of her rubbish and tears at any slight arguments.

I paid 396k for her cs operation, and no where my name or surname appeared on the receipt that was given to me, it's her name and her father's name that was on it. This is because after marriage she has not changed her surname to my name, this hurt me a lot because her elder sister that is just a baby mama to her boyfriend has already changed her Facebook sur name to her boyfriend surname. Whereas my wife is still answering her father's name, I have told myself that if she can't think and do this willingly, I will never and ever confront her concerning this.

I have been allowing her to do whatever she want but this, she has over stepped her boundaries, seems I have been too easy on her.

BlindAngel:
That's the church she was attending before we got married, so I don't want to stop her in order for it not to seems like I'm wicked and for her not to call me names.

Yesterday she reminded me that after our marriage my family forced her to do thanks giving at our church. She has been saying this for long, but stopped, until yesterday.

I told her that doing thanks giving at our church is now a bad thing or something that's forceful?

She cried a lot yesterday because of our argument of this naming.

Same tears she used in forcing me into getting married to her when I wasn't in anyway ready.

You're not a man.

It's shows u are very weak, continue to allow her manipulate you with her tears

BlindAngel:
That's the church she was attending before we got married, so I don't want to stop her in order for it not to seems like I'm wicked and for her not to call me names.

Yesterday she reminded me that after our marriage my family forced her to do thanks giving at our church. She has been saying this for long, but stopped, until yesterday.

I told her that doing thanks giving at our church is now a bad thing or something that's forceful?

She cried a lot yesterday because of our argument of this naming.

Same tears she used in forcing me into getting married to her when I wasn't in anyway ready.

Can you imagine the nonsense! She worship her pastor and at the same time manipulating you. This is the reason pete edochie said its very wrong for a man to knee down to propose to a woman, marriage has lost it's sanctity after our parents because the wives worship their husband, my brother stand your ground as the man of the house or else she will sex as the next thing to manipulate you with because she already knows you are weak

BlindAngel:
Good afternoon Nairalanders, my wife gave birth last week which was Saturday July 13th, that day was also my birthday, she gave birth through CS, this is our first child, and it's a boy.


This week Saturday is our baby's naming ceremony but my wife is insisting that her pastor must be the one officiate the naming the child, we've been disagreeing over this for some couple of days now,

she has called me all sorts of names, insulted me that I'm a very wicked man that I have no conscience, that after she pain and tearing she went through and still going through, I can't make this as a sacrifice for her, that I choose my family over her. She said so because my family also insist too that the naming must be done by our pastor.

But she's keying on the fact that she won't agree for the naming to be done in my church that it must be done by her pastor, she has cried and insulted me regarding this. Yesterday when we were arguing about this same particular issue she starting crying endlessly and calling me a wicked man.

I have finally agreed for her to use her pastor to do the naming, although I don't know her pastor and haven't seen him before, but I only agreed because of the CS operation she did while giving birth, her endless crying might affect her, if not there's absolutely no way possible I'd have agreed.

I must say that she doesn't know the repercussions of what sha has done by challenging my authority and always wanting to have her way with tears all the time. But time sha tell, I'm in so much rage right now, and I'm trying my possible best to control myself and not to loose my anger over this.

You are the curse of your problem, how did you come into agreement with your wife to worship in a particular church while you are doing same in another church, how did you come to that conclusion? You broke your home from the very beginning so what advice are you looking for on nairaland? You want us to say something so that you will go back home and tell her that you did so because nairalmlanders advise you to do so right? E no go work for you, we don escape this one. Go and carry your cross

Just be vigilant shekina

BlindAngel:
Good afternoon Nairalanders, my wife gave birth last week which was Saturday July 13th, that day was also my birthday, she gave birth through CS, this is our first child, and it's a boy.


This week Saturday is our baby's naming ceremony but my wife is insisting that her pastor must be the one officiate the naming the child, we've been disagreeing over this for some couple of days now,

she has called me all sorts of names, insulted me that I'm a very wicked man that I have no conscience, that after she pain and tearing she went through and still going through, I can't make this as a sacrifice for her, that I choose my family over her. She said so because my family also insist too that the naming must be done by our pastor.

But she's keying on the fact that she won't agree for the naming to be done in my church that it must be done by her pastor, she has cried and insulted me regarding this. Yesterday when we were arguing about this same particular issue she starting crying endlessly and calling me a wicked man.

I have finally agreed for her to use her pastor to do the naming, although I don't know her pastor and haven't seen him before, but I only agreed because of the CS operation she did while giving birth, her endless crying might affect her, if not there's absolutely no way possible I'd have agreed.

I must say that she doesn't know the repercussions of what sha has done by challenging my authority and always wanting to have her way with tears all the time. But time sha tell, I'm in so much rage right now, and I'm trying my possible best to control myself and not to loose my anger over this.

Why will you and your wife be worshipping in different church, you enabled the nonsense from the beginning so deal with it the right way that will bring peace to your home

joseph1832:
Even at that, I'd say the guy didn't cement his hold on the relationship by getting her to accept him as the leader of the relationship.

Absolutely!

BlindAngel:
That's the church she was attending before we got married, so I don't want to stop her in order for it not to seems like I'm wicked and for her not to call me names.

Yesterday she reminded me that after our marriage my family forced her to do thanks giving at our church. She has been saying this for long, but stopped, until yesterday.

I told her that doing thanks giving at our church is now a bad thing or something that's forceful?

She cried a lot yesterday because of our argument of this naming.

Same tears she used in forcing me into getting married to her when I wasn't in anyway ready.

my brother you don enter better ugba, this women go finish. Think like a real man and play smart

[b][/b]She said so because my family also insist too that the naming must be done by our pastor.

Above is the reason why you are the source of your problem.
Your family is deciding for your immediate family.
That’s the main reason your wife is objecting to your decision. She strongly believes it’s not really your decision.

Mcreloaded:
The parents of your wife gave you goat but refused to give you the rope.
You go suffer for this goat wey you marry dey call wife.
When she is through with you I can bet my balls that you will regret the day you ever set eyes on her

🤣🤣🤣🤣
You are very funny but you are right.
But I don’t understand why he kept saying she’s crying.🤣
He married a drama queen.

alizma:
You are the course of your problem, how did you come into agreement with your wife to worship in a particular church while you are doing same in another church, how did you come to that conclusion? You broke your home from the very beginning so what advice are you looking for on nairaland? You want us to say something so that you will go back home and tell her that you did so because nairalmlanders advise you to do so right? E no go work for you, we don escape this one. Go and carry your cross

Nairaland in-law 🤣🤣
Well done 👍

The baby is not yours. Don't waste your money doing any naming ceremony. Use the money for the naming ceremony to do DNA test





I just discovered that if you drink garri with rain water ..it' taste like Turkey pepper 🌶️ soup

alizma:
You are the course of your problem, how did you come into agreement with your wife to worship in a particular church while you are doing same in another church, how did you come to that conclusion? You broke your home from the very beginning so what advice are you looking for on nairaland? You want us to say something so that you will go back home and tell her that you did so because nairalmlanders advise you to do so right? E no go work for you, we don escape this one. Go and carry your cross

bros, na curse o, no be course. No let my English teacher Leemzyy cash you o

Ur head non correct. It's not natural at all, a man is a man, and he makes the decision not the woman....... The woman enjoyed her right, when both Intro,traditional and white wedding was done on her side, wether church or house, so after marriage, any church the man dey go, authomatically bcoms the church d wife go dey go......

Foodqueen:
You allowed her attend a separate church while she was pregnant, it's only natural that she would want her church to christen the child.

U can take the dedication to your family church.

Ndo, alot of sacrifice for a peaceful marriage.

Your wife doesn’t trust you. Why?
You come across as someone that is not building your own family rather trying to drag your wife to conform to the rules of your father’s family.
You have got to build your own family with her and have new rules that govern your immediate family.
You can’t ban your wife from attending a church she wants. You have to talk things through and lead. She will follow when she sees that you have a clear path.
Firstly, find a new church for your family. Not the old church that your father’s family attend.
Discuss issues that are causing strain on your family.
Let her know her pastor will not have any priority in your family. She can see her pastor if she so wishes but decisions about your family will never be made by an outsider.
Have a clear path.

From experience, this is not easy but achievable

BlindAngel:
We both have agreed on the name, she suggested it and i agreed, though it pains me that I wasn't the one that came up with the name fully, but we've already agreed and changing my mind right now will lead to an heavy quarrel and lot's of endless crying from her. That I'm wicked and heartless that after we've both agreed, I changed things.

She is too dominaring.

BABANGBALI:
bros, na curse o, no be course. No let my English teacher Leemzyy cash you o

cause

afribabe:
cause

curse and cause are boat correct. One is a British English, while the other one is American English. I chose to use the American English which is my mother tongue.

You are very weak as a husband. You're not worh calling a husband at all.

At whom church did you expect to do your wedding thanks giving.?..at her church or your parent/your church?
Yes your church of course..
After wedding, your wife has nothing to do with her church or her pastor again, bit yours.

BlindAngel:
That's the church she was attending before we got married, so I don't want to stop her in order for it not to seems like I'm wicked and for her not to call me names.

Yesterday she reminded me that after our marriage my family forced her to do thanks giving at our church. She has been saying this for long, but stopped, until yesterday.

I told her that doing thanks giving at our church is now a bad thing or something that's forceful?

She cried a lot yesterday because of our argument of this naming.

Same tears she used in forcing me into getting married to her when I wasn't in anyway ready.

You both are babies. Fighting over who will officiate at your child naming ceremony. How is that even important. In the bible, is it stated anywhere that priests or pastors have to name a child? The responsibility is that of the father of the child after both parents have agreed on a name.
My point is it is not worth fighting over. Since pastors are important to you, then compromise. You had your wedding thanksgiving at your church, then let her pastor officiate.
Then from your write up, it seems it is your family making the demand and not you.
Both of you had better grow up because the journey long gan.

BlindAngel:
We both have agreed on the name, she suggested it and i agreed, though it pains me that I wasn't the one that came up with the name fully, but we've already agreed and changing my mind right now will lead to an heavy quarrel and lot's of endless crying from her. That I'm wicked and heartless that after we've both agreed, I changed things.

That boy is your first heir and you should be the one to give him his first name, stop being a sissy, your wife should be attending your own church and not hers, you are the one giving room for all these rubbish and it will come back to haunt you

Namaster:
My dude, you STARTED your marriage with a big bang of premium fuuuck up!

This woman has ZERO regard for you. She DOES NOT respect or love you. Probably doesn't even like you. You are just an expense account to this woman.

Any woman who has a MODICUM of respect for her husband would be EAGER to take his name. A couple of weeks ago, we all read about how Diezani Allison-Madueke's ex-husband, Allison Amaechina Madueke, took her to court just to get to STOP using his name after divorce.

That woman served as a Minister under 2 different Presidents before she became the first female President of OPEC. Yet she took NOT one but TWO of her husbands name.

But your wife (probably a stay-at-home wife) REFUSED to take your name and you still went along with the wedding.

You started on the WRONG track.

FIRST thing you need to do now is get a DNA test for that boy to confirm it's yours. Because the series of disrespect and disregard your wife has displayed towards you makes it highly UNLIKELY that she'd let you get her pregnant.

Ypu already spent #400K on the kid so find money for the DNA test. And do it ASAP before you sink in MORE money into raising her pastor's kid.

Meantime, put a STOP to every manipulation. Don't let her dictate ANYTHING or manipulate her way through anything. Even with tears, don't give in!

More knowledge sir

Tufiakwa,How can you come online disclosing all this about your wife/mother of your child to total strangers on nairaland.Do you not have family members or initiatives on fixing issues.....Plus your phone number is on previous posts....How would your wife feel if she finds out

BlindAngel:
Her mom already left their father when they were still young, she was brought up by a single mom.

Last year someone told me that while they were still married her mom was bringing small boys into their matrimonial bed to sex, on the day of our traditional marriage, one mama that lives close to where I lives called me to the corner and said she has a lot to tell me, after the traditional marriage I went to see her and she told me that my wife elder sister is doing runs which I I'm very much aware of, because she came to visit me one day, her and my wife that was when she was still my girlfriend, and she was boosting that no boy will and can ever Bleep her for free. Even her post on whatsapp status is all about sex and Bleep, smoke etc.

She told me also that her mom was once bringing young boys into their house while still married that she lived close to her before.

I didn't noticed any of this trait on my wife, "then girlfriend" and I haven't still noticed despite monitoring and cloning her WhatsApp.

BlindAngel:
It seems I have been too easy and quiet on her, I will do as you say and ban her from going to that church and if she refused, she should pack her load and go back to her parents house, I have really condole enough of her rubbish and tears at any slight arguments.

I paid 396k for her cs operation, and no where my name or surname appeared on the receipt that was given to me, it's her name and her father's name that was on it. This is because after marriage she has not changed her surname to my name, this hurt me a lot because her elder sister that is just a baby mama to her boyfriend has already changed her Facebook sur name to her boyfriend surname. Whereas my wife is still answering her father's name, I have told myself that if she can't think and do this willingly, I will never and ever confront her concerning this.

I have been allowing her to do whatever she want but this, she has over stepped her boundaries, seems I have been too easy on her.

🤣🤣🤣 guy man don dey man up o.But on a serious note, don't allow anybody to manipulate you with cry.Don't allow ur wife to be comfortable with any so call man of God or celebrity or even her boss at work oo.
Outside there is dangerous my man and most women don't understand it.You are the leader and ur wife is expected to follow your instructions not any pastor or Boss.
Good luck to you.

Op, if she had not delivered through CS u would have refused?
What is the correlation between delivery through CS and the woman's pastor being the one to officiate te naming ceremony?
My wife delivered through CS too. And I named the child while she was still on hospital bed. I brought it to attention though, but it wasn't an issue for discussion or debate.
3 months later she took the child to her church for baptism, I didn't show up. Because the church, a pentecostal church refused to wed us unless I become their member and attend foundation, intermediate and advanced class or in my case, attend executive class. I say mba, I don't want to be their member, they say mba, they wount wed us, hence the stalemate till today.
When I was ready the following month, I did "mkuputa nwa" which was the day the child was brought out and named officially. Her church people were even there in my house, but I didn't know till later in the evening when different groups were coming out to dance with the newborn

phatnpretty:
She is just being petty. Let her cry me a river. Why would a couple worship at different churches? Didnt you discuss it before marriage. Man up and stand your ground. Na so see finish dey take start o. Know when to say " yes " and when to say no " no". I am a woman too, I don't support nonsense.

The brother is weak and the wife knows it.
Have you heard of a blind Angel before?
That's the name @Op choose to answer.

BlindAngel:
Good afternoon Nairalanders, my wife gave birth last week which was Saturday July 13th, that day was also my birthday, she gave birth through CS, this is our first child, and it's a boy.


This week Saturday is our baby's naming ceremony but my wife is insisting that her pastor must be the one officiate the naming the child, we've been disagreeing over this for some couple of days now,

she has called me all sorts of names, insulted me that I'm a very wicked man that I have no conscience, that after she pain and tearing she went through and still going through, I can't make this as a sacrifice for her, that I choose my family over her. She said so because my family also insist too that the naming must be done by our pastor.

But she's keying on the fact that she won't agree for the naming to be done in my church that it must be done by her pastor, she has cried and insulted me regarding this. Yesterday when we were arguing about this same particular issue she starting crying endlessly and calling me a wicked man.

I have finally agreed for her to use her pastor to do the naming, although I don't know her pastor and haven't seen him before, but I only agreed because of the CS operation she did while giving birth, her endless crying might affect her, if not there's absolutely no way possible I'd have agreed.

I must say that she doesn't know the repercussions of what sha has done by challenging my authority and always wanting to have her way with tears all the time. But time sha tell, I'm in so much rage right now, and I'm trying my possible best to control myself and not to loose my anger over this.

hope your wife doesn't have post partum depression. Two of you really need to communicate your feelings to each other more. It seems she still harbors resentment over the Thanksgiving issue. It is never easy for someone to give up their identity and adopt another when you are not a fugitive on the run. That is what marriage is for women. They leave all they know for a man they are not sure will be faithful to them or will take care of them and sacrifice their bodies to birth his babies that will never carry her former last name. A very risky gamble. If she did CS, it means the labor must have been difficult or she nearly died in the process of giving birth to your child. She wants to give thanks and invite her pastor, let her have her way. Her body is in tatters from childbearing, her mind is also going through a shift

A new mother's mental and emotional state is fragile. I will tell you that this will happen again. She will insist of sharwama when there's only bread in the house. Yes you have a right to be angry, bit don't hold a grudge. 2 grudges won't bury the beef. That will be a recipe for the slow death of your marriage. But next time. Don't allow her have her way if she insists on UNREASONABLE demands without giving a valid reason why or two of you coming to an agreement first.

acevic:
Your wife doesn’t trust you. Why?
You come across as someone that is not building your own family rather trying to drag your wife to conform to the rules of your father’s family.
You have got to build your own family with her and have new rules that govern your immediate family.
You can’t ban your wife from attending a church she wants. You have to talk things through and lead. She will follow when she sees that you have a clear path.
Firstly, find a new church for your family. Not the old church that your father’s family attend.
Discuss issues that are causing strain on your family.
Let her know her pastor will not have any priority in your family. She can see her pastor if she so wishes but decisions about your family will never be made by an outsider.
Have a clear path.

From experience, this is not easy but achievable

another good point and perspective