₦airaland Forum

Snow2six:
Y everybody jst de para for what d gal said she likes…If you can’t give head, it’s ur choice,stop condemning her on her fantasy..what if una com jam man wey de gv head and also leak ass?She knows what she wants, best she should do is to cont talkin to d guy abt it and if she doesn’t c any change,she look for someone her match

AishaDant:
I am not getting tired of it soon. You're telling a female who hasn't even reached her mid twenties that she would get tired of sex?

What am I supposed to be doing with the remaining what, eighty years of my life? Listening to my friends brag about how satisfied they are? Hmm!

TrustNone:
if I handle you one night ehn you go dump his broke and impotent ass straight up

almarthins:
Time na illusion. Soon you will be 35 before you know it. Market go come scanty, then you go come wish know better then.

Sapasenator:
Na, that Is a fail in my book. He should be able to give at least an hour of "head", 40minutes head alone and about 20minutes of head in combinations with dexterous fingers before proceeding with intimacy. At least two orgasms for the lady before penetrative intercourse.

What reason/s is he giving for failing in this important duty?
What was is background? Are you his first date?

AishaDant:
I am fulani, age is not my problem. We hardly really age but clearly you don't know that.

I take very good care of myself.
Keep this advice for your wife and kids okay?

Proserpina:
This one sees a good man but head is her problem.
Later they will come to scream "Men are Scum"

Kwantinue,!

BTW not everyone likes to put their mouth down there, have you considered that?

folake4u:
But he likes the BJ.

Freely you receive, freely you give.

Proserpina:
She should stop the bj. I'm sure she introduced it, you can't blame him for that.

AishaDant:
I cannot force him. If it is not something he enjoys, I will not force him.

To be fair, I enjoy going down on him. If he doesn't enjoy doing same for me, I cannot force him.

folake4u:
Okay then.

What about her sexual dissatisfaction?

Proserpina:
Lol You know what endears me to this case is the qualities she listed about the man. Especially that "A man that LISTENS" .

Believe me, that quality alone takes away 60% of the challenges she may face in relationship and most importantly marriage with him . A Nigerian man that LISTENS ah! She may not know the importance of this quality until later in life.
Couples can not be equal in all aspects that's where compromise comes in .

As for her sexual dissatisfaction, does this come from the fact that her desire (Head) is not granted or her man isn't trying at all?

Has she tried holding off on the BJs he loves so he can see what he is making her miss?

Has she tried to convince him to use intimacy gadgets on her? If he is all she listed he would definitely give in with time if he see how she vibrates with the tongue intimacy gadget

You see, some things can really be worked around if couples understand one another.

But if head is paramount then she can go ahead to break up with him but believe me, she might look back and regret this . Then "head" might be very tiny to the compromise she may have to make in the future.

Head only works when there's peace of mind o

Proserpina:
Lol You know what endears me to this case is the qualities she listed about the man. Especially that "A man that LISTENS" .

Believe me, that quality alone takes away 60% of the challenges she may face in relationship and most importantly marriage with him . A Nigerian man that LISTENS ah! She may not know the importance of this quality until later in life.
Couples can not be equal in all aspects that's where compromise comes in .

As for her sexual dissatisfaction, does this come from the fact that her desire (Head) is not granted or her man isn't trying at all?

Has she tried holding off on the BJs he loves so he can see what he is making her miss?

Has she tried to convince him to use intimacy gadgets on her? If he is all she listed he would definitely give in with time if he see how she vibrates with the tongue intimacy gadget

You see, some things can really be worked around if couples understand one another.

But if head is paramount then she can go ahead to break up with him but believe me, she might look back and regret this . Then "head" might be very tiny to the compromise she may have to make in the future.

Head only works when there's peace of mind o

AishaDant:
He is just very reluctant to do it. When he tries, he acts like it is about to swallow him. The drama alone is a huge turn off for me.

Anyway, he has until the end of the month to start doing it right or we are done.

As a young active couple, sexual satisfaction is important especially as I am not ready to start cheating on him.

Proserpina:
This sounds like a cover letter... I'm waiting for your CV

AishaDant:
We have been dating for exactly two years now and to be honest, he is a very sweet and romantic man. I absolutely adore him because he is kind, caring, gentle and considerate. He also listens... Most men these days, do not listen. My boyfriend listens when it comes to most things. However, when it comes to matters of the bedroom, he is closed-minded, shy and quite reluctant. These are a huge turn off for me but I know nobody is perfect so I talk to him about it and it goes in one ear and out the other. He says fine he would try harder and do what I ask but when the time comes, he shys away, leaving me upset and even frustrated.

Am I being too coded? Alright! He enjoys bjs... He would moan, shake - these things I enjoy. I absolutely enjoy being able to fully satisfy him but what of me? He does not give head!

Crazy huh? Imagine wanting and enjoying something you refuse to give. How is your partner supposed to feel?

Oh and for those of you wondering, I am extremely clean. Maybe too clean even.
This is a problem for me. He is too reserved and finds it difficult to try new things.

Guess what guys? He is talking about marriage when he cannot even satisfy me in the bedroom. I just smile and change topics because I know I am not gonna marry him.
I don't want to be sad and miserable. I am young and I want to be happy and satisfied.

He wants to introduce me to his family officially before he comes to see my family this December. What do I do? He is a very nice man and he is well-behaved, sane, stable but he does not know how to satisfy a woman in the bedroom. What do I do?

OH and he is not on nairaland. He thinks nairaland is boring. He prefers Instagram so hopefully he doesn't see this ever. 😒

AishaDant:
I am not getting tired of it soon. You're telling a female who hasn't even reached her mid twenties that she would get tired of sex?

What am I supposed to be doing with the remaining what, eighty years of my life? Listening to my friends brag about how satisfied they are? Hmm!

AishaDant:
He likes bjs but does not give head.

Sex without head is like trying to use a piece of wood to start your car when the key is lying right beside you. It just doesn't work for me.

Konquest:
Aisha (@AishaDant), I've got some moments on my hands to step into your fascinating thread post before moving on to something else, but I want some CLARITY here in order to give you more insights.

I can see that you have become wired up in such a way that the desire for "cunnilingus" has become a part of your "love language" here. You also assume that giving a "head" is widespread among men worldwide which is NOT so. Only a few percentage of men compared to the over 4 billion men on this planet earth engage in it based off of previous sexual studies.

You indicated here that you are NOT up to your mid-20s yet and studied medicine. How old is this young man? Is he over 30 years of age or even in his 40s? Speaking as an OG, I say this because of the FACT that you say he is mature and listens.

Second, it must be emphasized here that a dating time frame of NOT more than two years is the ideal period for a male and a female to get to know each other's deal breakers OR levels of compatibility before marriage. Anything longer than that, lethargy sets in and men tend to string naive young women, (especially those women they have had relentless sexual activities with) from then on before dumping them.

Worldwide, most men are averse to giving "cunnilingus" or "heads" and that doesn't necessarily mean that they are sexually awkward OR NOT sexually adventurous. It's the way men in traditional societies are wired. This mini-trend of giving "heads" to women is ONLY a very recent phenomenon in human history propounded by adult online and offline movies and adult books. Or do you want to tell me that giving a woman a head is historically part of traditional Fulani, Yoruba, Chinese, Korean, German, Indian, Arabian, Berber, Mongolian, Inuit, Edo societies, etc? NO!

I'll reserve my FULLER insights and final comments that will be of significant use to you when I get your feedback to my post

AishaDant:
I am not looking for another argument on my post. Any man who does not see reason with me can go ahead and continue doing what he feels is right for his partner.

Apparently, most Nigerian men are closed-minded yet wonder why so many females these days turn lesbian or cheat.

You read the post and saw the part I said he enjoys receiving blow jobs but because you are also male, you feel you should defend him.

Whatever!

AishaDant:
I just smiled reading this.

Nigerians and hypocrisy, tell me about it.

Well, he has this month to do better or we are done. My happiness is important to me.

AishaDant:
I am fulani, age is not my problem. We hardly really age but clearly you don't know that.

I take very good care of myself.
Keep this advice for your wife and kids okay?

Konquest:
If you read my original post without any confirmation bias, you would realize that I empathized with your instinctive desires. I don't like tagging people with wrong labels unnecessarily... I was very CLEAR.

You are being reactive here and have jumped the gun already! I NEVER defended the young man like you stated but ONLY asked for more specifics about his "age range" from you and laid the "groundwork" for you to see CLEARLY why a huge percentage of men worldwide do NOT like giving "cunnilingus." Regardless of this FACT, there are men who do and it's any young woman's right of choice to have these desires with her man in any healthy relationship. If he doesn't want to give a "head," BUT you intensely crave it for the purpose of "bonding" and you think you would faint or "PASS OUT" because it's a MAJOR part of your "love language" blueprint, then you are free to bounce off from the relationship. It's your prerogative. Period.

As a mature older man, I CLEARLY emphatized with you from the get go. I was in reality gonna round off by giving you a "hack or deeper insights" from a "male perspective" as to how to make your man act out the fantasies you crave for in a healthy, committed relationship.

I'll end this convo here and now.

luminouz:
Shût dafuq up, ungrateful little mumu.... Seeking attention everywhere.

luminouz:
Nawa o..see as mature older man is being taken for a ride. That girl ain't shiit ...she is just looking for attention

janetakan:
You're the one looking for attention on her post. Old fool! Leave her alone.

OLD FOOL, GO AND FACE YOUR WIFE AND KIDS!!

AishaDant:
My sister, leave the old pathetic man alone.

I have learned to ignore brainless males on nairaland. They are just not worth it.

janetakan:
You're the one looking for attention on her post. Old fool! Leave her alone.

OLD FOOL, GO AND FACE YOUR WIFE AND KIDS!!

janetakan:
If a man cannot control his mouth or hand in this case, why should a woman?

I live to handle foolish stupid fools like him.

You don't even need to reply. Leave him for me. What nonsense is this?

On top your post again. See me see wahala.
I am sure he is one smelling big stomach, poverty stricken slowpoke. Mtchewww

AishaDant:
My sister, leave the old pathetic man alone.

I have learned to ignore brainless males on nairaland. They are just not worth it.

luminouz:
K