₦airaland Forum

crossbreedwears:
You can bring in your woman to a shared apartment as long as she won't pass the night.

Shared 1 room, not apartment per se. Please it's uncomfortable... I am sure that's where he sleeps with the girl. Please learn to consider others when you people decide.

Undilutedme:
They're just blindly attacking me and not even handling the issue I brought. All I want to know is if I overrated or not.

you no over react you jus tryna draw a boundary

na koji dey hold u and your babe wey she no fit com at the exact time you dey house

DonBenny77:
You be mumu, wetin you dey do with girlfriend when you no fit rent selfcon for yourself?
Dirty livestyle.
Why would your girlfriend wait for you in a shared house when you're not home, tomorrow it will be your roommate hitting on your girlfriend.
You lack proper orientation.
As for the matter at hand your roommate has every right to ask her to sweep.
You're the problem

.
Sharap there.... don't take advise from this half baked student... rubbish advise

Undilutedme:
Hello, Nairalanders. Good morning, I’m going to be short.

I stay in Ondo and I just finished my youth service and currently, I’m staying with long time friend(We’re splitting the rent) till we are able to find our way. Something happened last week Friday that has brought a little misunderstanding (We don’t flow like before) and I want your opinion.

Okay, so I went to my work, I work from 8-5, sometimes 6 and that day, my girlfriend called me and said she was around the house and wanted to wait and see me, I told her it was fine that I would be back soon. I went back later to the house and I met her, my friend wasn’t around then. The house was very neat, but I knew she was the one who swept it, so I didn’t ask. But one talk led to another and she told me it was that my friend that told her to get broom and sweep the room. When she said it, I wasn’t so cool with it because I felt he didn’t have that right to tell my girlfriend to sweep the room. Even if she wanted to sleep it, I should be the one to tell her and not my room mate. I told him and he didn’t see anything wrong with it and insisted that I didn’t like it and he shouldn’t do it next time, because I found it a bit disrespectful to myself and my girlfriend. Since then, he hasn’t been so cool, we talk but not like before. Did I overreact? Do you think it’s okay or wrong for my roommate to tell my girlfriend to sweep the room?

NB; I do not tell my girlfriend to sweep the room when my roommate is around, so it doesn’t bring “see finish “ so, she’s never swept in his presence before, but she does it when he’s not around.

Also, he has his girlfriend that comes to the house too and I have never told her to do anything like that before. So, what do you guys think?

We all started from somewhere, so I understand sharing apartment. But sharing a room when you have a gf , you should have set boundaries. Not just for the both of you as roommates but for you and your gf if she must visit.
As a girl, I will not visit a guy that shares a room with his friend when he's not inside the room with me, no matter how brief and I'll make him understand why. Unless you're in the bathroom or enter the kitchen, I'll be uncomfortable whether or not your roommate is in. So when she called and you told her you didn't go far or was close by, she should have gone back and return when you are around. That would have saved the both of you the embarrassment.
Roommates argue, settle it like a man with your guy. For your gf, apologize to her for the embarrassment and set some ground rules moving forward till you can afford your own place. I'd advise you over look the fact that his gf comes around too but you don't ask her to do that. You are not him okay, that's why you should be the matured one. If you gf must come over, make her do that only when you know you'd be around her for the 1-2hrs she's staying.
Sweeping the room is not a big deal but approach is everything. She might be offended about how he said it. Your guy can say please I'm heading out in a hurry can you help us tidy the place? Trust me, if your babe is a nice girl she won't feel offended and might not even see the need to tell you your roommate ask her to sweep. Just "Hey babe I did a little cleaning" if she just want to say smth. But he might have said it in a way that's disrespectful, hence why she told you. That's human beings for you though.
So be the peacemaker and wiser person. Pray God provides for you to get a better place. Shalom

Undilutedme:
Focus on the question I asked, you know nothing about me or my relationship with her. We’ve been dating for over a year, so I should just leave her because I share a room? So my girlfriend can’t come to visit me in my shared room? Answer what I asked or move on. It’s a simple thing. Thank you 🙏

Bro this is Africa. Men don't do some house chores when women are around.

Your friend didn't do anything wrong. It is even a bad thing if your girlfriend comes around and see your room dirty, and wait for someone to tell her before sweeping it.

You can do that to my girlfriend and you can do that to my younger sister, and I won't feel offended. You can even respectfully, ask my elder sister to do some house chores.

But don't tell my elder brother. That's what I would take as an insult.

santaclaws:
Does your room mate bring a girlfriend to the shared room? You shouldn't bring a woman to a room you're sharing with your friend.

I am pretty sure it's not a flat where you have your own personal room. You finished NYSC under 1 year, you never make money, you dey carry girlfriend matter for head. If you were my younger brother I would slap you! 😡

Work hard and get your own apartment before carrying woman up and down.

First to comment but couldn't even bother to read what you commented on.

pocohantas:
I am not surprised at the comments.

Likes attract likes.

As goat take stand for market, naso them dey take price am.

I would never stop saying goodluck to the girls dating our suppose Nairaland alpha males. God's strongest soldiers they are.

😕😕😕

So if that man of yours suddenly registers on NL .. you'd dump him??


😒😒😒

Seun, please make it mandatory to have a profile picture with verification before someone can register on Nairaland. It would be good to see the faces of some of these foolish people. Imagine someone who can't even afford a self-contained apartment bringing women around.

ChiefOkporghe:
First to comment but couldn't even bother to read what you commented on.

Read the entire first page and see where I mentioned that his post was modified after I commented.

Chief wey dey jump like kangaroo 🦘

E come be like say 3 of una deh mad...
I don't entirely believe your story until I hear from your friend..
Based on whah you have said... Your friend is mad for telling your girlfriend to sweep.
Your girlfriend is mad for sweeping...
You're mad for putting your girlfriend in that position of sweeping....

Until I hear from your friend.... I insist that all 3 of you are mad...

Tbh, if your girlfriend doesn't seem offended or complained , maybe u should let it go!!

Or maybe u be dirty boy wen no deh do house chores that's why your roomie use your babe do the one wen u no deh gree do...

All of una still deh mad

Undilutedme:
They're just blindly attacking me and not even handling the issue I brought. All I want to know is if I overrated or not.

All I will advise you as a guy with OT and enough orientations about women, is don't carry woman matter on your head, whether it's your girlfriend or not.

Because with your narrative, that means your own blood brother cannot tell your girlfriend to sweep if the guy was to be your own brother?

If you act this way, I can bet you, you are grooming your girlfriend to lack respect for your friends and family.

You are supposed to instill respect in your girlfriend now if not, she will disrespect you, your friends and family in the future because you are an enabler of such conduct in your woman.

Undilutedme:
Focus on the question I asked, you know nothing about me or my relationship with her. We’ve been dating for over a year, so I should just leave her because I share a room? So my girlfriend can’t come to visit me in my shared room? Answer what I asked or move on. It’s a simple thing. Thank you 🙏

OGA FOCUS ON YOUR LIFE GOALS... IS THIS WHAT THE WORLD HAS TURNED INTO? AH AH!!!!!!!!!!! DO YOU THINK IF THINGS GETS REALLY BAD FOR YOU THAT YOUR GF GO ASK TO WAIT FOR YOU?
TRY NOR BRING THESE KIND TOPICS COME NL AGAIN BECAUSE EVEN 12 YEARS OLD BOYS DE HERE..... YOU NEVER ACHIEVE ANYTHING FOR LIFE, YOU OPEN YOUR MOUTH FOR PUBLIC FORUM DE TALK AND GF, YOUR GUY, ROOM AND SHIT APARTMENT...

OGA..... REST!!!!!!!!!

santaclaws:
Read the entire first page and see where I mentioned that his post was modified after I commented.

Chief wey dey jump like kangaroo 🦘

Look at this one... I read the post. He modified his spellings and not the post.

I read the post when people were booking spaces.. I didn't comment.

Assuming you're correct, why didn't you modify yours too and state that your comment was based on his earlier post?

Some of you like to think you're smart.

As long as splitting of rent is 50/50, both of them and anyone attached to either of them have equal rights.

He is not squatting, he is paying 50% of the rent.

It wasn't like his girlfriend is staying with them. She just stopped by to say hi and he wasn't around. He was the one that asked her to wait for him that he will soon be back.
His friend is even supposed to feel ashamed of himself that a guest came and met the house untidy.

I pity the lady married or that will marry you. People like you are the ones that allow your wives to be turned to house slaves by your family members and even friends...

Tueehhh...

ChiefOkporghe:
Look at this one... I read the post. He modified his spellings and not the post.

I read the post when people were booking spaces.. I didn't comment.

Assuming you're correct, why didn't you modify yours too and state that your comment was based on his earlier post?

Some of you like to think you're smart.

As long as splitting of rent is 50/50, both of them and anyone attached to either of them have equal rights.

He is not squatting, he is paying 50% of the rent.

It wasn't like his girlfriend is staying with them. She just stopped by to say hi and he wasn't around. He was the one that asked her to wait for him that he will soon be back.
His friend is even supposed to feel ashamed of himself that a guest came and met the house untidy.

I pity the lady married or that will marry you. People like you are the ones that allow your wives to be turned to house slaves by your family members and even friends...

Tueehhh...

All that nonsense wey you write na you go read am yourself. 💩

In the meantime, hug transformer! 🥱

nomally any body bearing seyi no dey everly get sense, like the drug baron son and you

simpleseyi:
The OP is mentally unstable as you all would have noticed from his series of replies

ogascomax:
Plenty people wey dey this nairaland the country has messed up with their brain that they can't think properly. A question was asked and they are diverting it by bringing stupid advise. Not everybody is frustrated like you guys. Not everybody will take your path, if you don't want girlfriend good for you.
She doesn't live with them, she came to visit her boyfriend so the friend does not have that right to ask her to sweep the house. Two of them living in that house should create a roster for sweeping. For the girl to be angry the friend must have seen it that it's the girl's duty to do that.

Na senseless people like you dem dey deceive with such lies. Try to dey use your head at times.

So tell me, the boyfriend is at work and the flatmate is not around. Why would my girlfriend come to my shared room at my working hours knowing fully well that I would be at work if she doesn’t already have a key to the room?
How did she get in when both boys are not even at home?

If she’s got a key to the apartment, she should be able to keep it clean when dirty, does she need to be reminded for that?

gunners160:
Sorry to ask, how old are you? Please i dont mean to disrespect you just want to knw.

u can ask your grandfather

Normally any girl we get sense see house nor sharp suppose tidy am.
Me personally nor fit tell my guy babe make e run that kind level i expect her to get sense, but if her sense nor reach there na to dey look am.
But if na normal girl nor be the serious level baba i go fall the banny hand flat. Date girl wen get sense very important leave beauty first.

How ok is your roommate? . You are the one to give orders to her if she doesn't know what to do naturally.

wickedclown:
E come be like say 3 of una deh mad...
I don't entirely believe your story until I hear from your friend..
Based on whah you have said... Your friend is mad for telling your girlfriend to sweep.
Your girlfriend is mad for sweeping...
You're mad for putting your girlfriend in that position of sweeping....

Until I hear from your friend.... I insist that all 3 of you are mad...

Tbh, if your girlfriend doesn't seem offended or complained , maybe u should let it go!!

Or maybe u be dirty boy wen no deh do house chores that's why your roomie use your babe do the one wen u no deh gree do...

All of una still deh mad

My bro... You're correct. Very.

1. The amount of respect those around you have for you will determine how they treat your spouse and kids.

2. The Girl isn't even staying with them. It's not like she came to spend some days with them. She just stopped by to say hi.

3. We all know that men like to dominate. And what better way to dominate a fellow man than to dominate his girl and send her on useless errands? God forbid.

4. The friend and him have equal rights to the room because it is shared apartment with equal splitting of rent. You can't treat my girl anyhow like I'm squatting with you. This is how a man's friends and family turns his wife to house help. Jeeez...

5. Except the guy is lying, his friend messed up big time. And kudos to the girl for even sweeping. It shows how respectful she is. Some girls would have rained down fire. Rubbish.

6. If the OP's friend can treat his babe like this when they are equally splitting rent, imagine what he would have done if he was just squatting and at his friend's mercy. He would have tried to molest the girl.

santaclaws:
All that nonsense wey you write na you go read am yourself. 💩

In the meantime, hug transformer! 🥱

It is well.

Rent sharing with your guy is always fun until a chick comes into the apartment. Then a mutually beneficial friendships ends in chaos.

Time to go get your own room for you and your girl. Afterall your roommate is part owner of the apartment, that includes anything and anyone you bring in. You have been warned.

MuslimIgbo:
Weyrey
Where in the post did it say the roommate has a girlfriend too?

it was clearly states in the write up.

The room mate does have a gf...

Ur a stupid idiot I couldn't even wait till the end to finish ur rubbish.....docile weak ass licking simp .......

Akinbahm:
Read this post of yours man and tell me where u input the advise he’s seeking for.

You all keep throwing the word “simp” around without knowing what it actually connotes.

na ur gang member na
I understand, women supporting women things

santaclaws:
Does your room mate bring a girlfriend to the shared room? You shouldn't bring a woman to a room you're sharing with your friend.

I am pretty sure it's not a flat where you have your own personal room. You finished NYSC under 1 year, you never make money, you dey carry girlfriend matter for head. If you were my younger brother I would slap you! 😡

Work hard and get your own apartment before carrying woman up and down.

u dey mind the low IQ

hopexter:
Na senseless people like you dem dey deceive with such lies. Try to dey use your head at times.

So tell me, the boyfriend is at work and the flatmate is not around. Why would my girlfriend come to my shared room at my working hours knowing fully well that I would be at work if she doesn’t already have a key to the room?
How did she get in when both boys are not even at home?

If she’s got a key to the apartment, she should be able to keep it clean when dirty, does she need to be reminded for that?

And who told you nobody was in the house? Read the OP again.
The friend was home but as at the time the OP came back home, the friend was not around.

psucc:
It's shameful how some of us do not have shame. Op, it's so shameful!

So your girlfriend has to wait until it takes another person to tell her to sweep or do some house chores? And you still get the effrontery to tell the world this? No!
Too shameful!

Why should she, a visitor, sweep a room occupied by 2 grown ass men? Is it her room? Is it her boyfriends room? So between the 2 owners of the room, they cannot figure out how to clean it but she, a visiting acquaintance of 1 of the occupants of said room should come and clean room for them... how did you arrive at this conclusion? Are you OK?

Is it that people here form unnecessary savagery or they are just generally toxic. Some without life hide under keyboard to abuse people who come for advice. Maybe they do that to feel better about their own pathetic condition. OP there is nothing wrong in having a partner at any stage in your journey of life. Nobody should make you feel bad about it. The ones insulting you won't have a better life than yours 30years from now. To your question, your girlfriend is a guest in the house. If she wants to clean the house, it should be her own decision. In fact, you don't need to tell anybody to do stuffs like that. If she does it or not, you can use that to know the person you are with and decide if she is worth having around or not. During my under graduate years, I shared accommodation too and had a girlfriend. If she comes around and my space is untidy she cleans. I would have found it really annoying if my roommate asks her to do it. He has no right. Besides, I graduated top of my class. Having a girlfriend didn't hinder my progress in school or life.
Lastly, have matured friends around you that you can discuss this kind of issues with. There are a lot of kids online who hide behind keyboard to abuse others. Some feel if others are not like them, they won't succeed. This evening, try comot with your guy make una drink beer over the matter.

My brother, na money dey stop nonsense...

You'll never see a man that's making really good money for himself complaining about this...

My opinion:- I understand your concern, you felt disrespected that your friend asked your girlfriend to sweep the room, just take this as a motivation to make good money legally, your friend will never have the audacity to disrespect you nor your girlfriend in any way if you have money, money commands respect... No matter what, cubana chief priest despite having his own money will never disrespect obi cubana nor his wife, there is that guy out there with loads of money that your friend calls "Boss" he can never disrespect him nor his girlfriend...

The bottom line is this, no too carry relationship for head, carry money for head, double up, learn how you can make money online the right way, don't let your girlfriend nor the relationship distract you from making money, many men in relationship gets distracted by their relationship, she's not your everything, making money should be your everything right now, do you even know if she's cheating on you with someone that has money or even doing coded hookup? you don't know...

Finally:- Things can be tough right now due to the economic situation on ground, but just see this as a motivation to double up and make money for yourself online legally, honestly, 9-5 will hardly get you there, there are many ways to make money online, make research and learn the one you can do, work so hard, don't let your relationship distract you from hustling because you can't really trust a woman sef, focus on yourself and making the money by prioritizing it, don't just focus on having your own apartment, but also making so much money for yourself legally...

Undilutedme:
They're just blindly attacking me and not even handling the issue I brought. All I want to know is if I overrated or not.

oga wat do want to hear? That's it was ur guy that messed up.....noooo

Ur the one tht messed up .....I noticed u reply people that ur seeking council from with insult....trust me young man ....I see u having problem at the first job u will get.......as for that ur girlfriend u will not last 2025 will end it ....both of u are arrogant......she have every rite to swip tht room......YES AND YES

ChiefOkporghe:
And who told you nobody was in the house? Read the OP again.
The friend was home but as at the time the OP came back home, the friend was not around.

Go read it again, he wasn’t home and the friend wasn’t home. The friend only came back and met his friend’s girl then left again. Why would your girlfriend come to the room you share with a friend at your working hrs? Does that make any sense to you? Except she lives there and own a key.