₦airaland Forum

My father has 4 biological children and 3 adopted ones totaling seven. Two of the 3 other children are orphan from my father's family while the third one is from my mother side. He's fatherless but has a mother. His mother rejected him right from birth and he's 20 years old now. I am the 4th child among the 4 children. The first is late, second is married a female, i have an elder brother while I'm the last born.. My father is still struggling in his 60s.

One of my mum sister came visiting and told this 20 years old boy his life history. This boy automatically harbour hatred towards his biological mother that rejected and abandoned him from birth. This my mum sister and the boy mother live in the same area. Coincidentally my mum sister met this boy mother on the road and told her how his son is now grown she was really concerned and begged her to give her his phone number which she did. She started calling the boy with the intention to beg him money. At first this boy stopped picking her call and told my mother. My mum advised him to forgive his mother. This woman started begging his son money. The boy told her he doesn't have money. He just finished his secondary school education and he's learning work. The woman shouted at him asking him why is he not doing Yahoo? She claimed he's not doing Yahoo and he's from a poor home in Nigeria, then how does he intend to make it? The boy tried to hide it away from us but my mum overheard his conversation and threatened to report to my dad before he confessed what his mother told him.

My mum asked him if any of her children is doing Yahoo? He said no. She told him the implications and reasons not to listen to his mother. My father had #65,000 in his account. This is all he has which he's managing. This boy collide with his Yahoo friend outside to withdraw #50,000 from my dad's account through his ATM card as my dad do send him to withdraw from POS with his ATM card. This is a boy no one knows he isn't our biological brother. My dad was crying when he got the alert asking who could have done this to him. He has budgeted #15,000 to buy materials for them to sew for the season and get food items before the incident. I called the bank contact center and they made it known to us that the ATM card numbers and his withdrawal pin number was linked online and used to withdraw the money. We know this is an inside work as a total stranger doesn't have access to all these details. We all know this 20 years old boy was behind it. I invited my brother and we both talked to him. He insisted that he knows nothing about it. We threatened to use the police and he began to confessed. He said he needed money desperately to buy shoe and clothes, and he observed my dad has over #60,000 in his account, then he told one of his Yahoo friend and he requested for his card details which he gave him then he withdrew the money. They have spent #39,000 from the money while his Yahoo friend has ran away having heard that the boy has confessed. He also confessed he has done it for two different people without being caught. The Yahoo friend rented a room apartment and his properties is still inside. My dad wants to arrest this 20 years old boy but he's considering the money he'd spent which he doesn't have. My mum was begging him not to arrest him but to send him away to live with his mother. The same mother that doesn't want to see him but want his money.

Although, this boy has been stealing right from childhood. He stole different neighbours money including ours. When caught my dad will beat him and talk to him. My brother has been adamant right from then sending this boy back to his mother but my father insisted saying the mother has rejected him and nobody knows tomorrow. My dad would say what if this boy was his son, would he rejected him or send him away. This boy went to spend holiday with his mother when he was 12 and the mother denied him in presence of everyone that he's one of her husband family members. She sent him away from her house barely 3 days he arrived and my mother sister brought him back.

This boy has emptied my father's account leaving him with almost nothing. My father wish to arrest him and lock him up but this cannot be done without money. My mum suggested we send him away to his mother.

Please what do you suggest!

Na wa.

He should be sent away ASAP.

The most important or sensitive part of the story is hidden from us. Why did his mother disown him from birth and what happened to his father?

Tell us the full story so that we can trace the root cause and address the issue properly. Whoever doesn't know the boy's full history can hardly come up with the best idea on how to handle the boy.

The decision is urs

immortalcrown:
The most important or sensitive part of the story is hidden from us. Why did his mother disown him from birth and what happened to his father?

Tell us the full story so that we can trace the root cause and address the issue properly. Whoever doesn't know the boy's full history can hardly come up with the best idea on how to handle the boy.

the father is late when he was 3 years old. The father is a married man but impregnated the mother. She didn't marry him and moved on with her life.

If that boy can do this to the man that raised him from small, you don't need a seer to tell you he's a criminal. It is better to lock him up in station, give him correct torture before sending him away.

Villa12:
My father has 4 biological children and 3 adopted ones totaling seven. Two of the 3 other children are orphan from my father's family while the third one is from my mother side. He's fatherless but has a mother. His mother rejected him right from birth and he's 20 years old now. I am the 4th child among the 4 children. The first is late, second is married a female, i have an elder brother while I'm the last born.. My father is still struggling in his 60s.

One of my mum sister came visiting and told this 20 years old boy his life history. This boy automatically harbour hatred towards his biological mother that rejected and abandoned him from birth. This my mum sister and the boy mother live in the same area. Coincidentally my mum sister met this boy mother on the road and told her how his son is now grown she was really concerned and begged her to give her his phone number which she did. She started calling the boy with the intention to beg him money. At first this boy stopped picking her call and told my mother. My mum advised him to forgive his mother. This woman started begging his son money. The boy told her he doesn't have money. He just finished his secondary school education and he's learning work. The woman shouted at him asking him why is he not doing Yahoo? She claimed he's not doing Yahoo and he's from a poor home in Nigeria, then how does he intend to make it? The boy tried to hide it away from us but my mum overheard his conversation and threatened to report to my dad before he confessed what his mother told him.

My mum asked him if any of her children is doing Yahoo? He said no. She told him the implications and reasons not to listen to his mother. My father had #65,000 in his account. This is all he has which he's managing. This boy collide with his Yahoo friend outside to withdraw #50,000 from my dad's account through his ATM card as my dad do send him to withdraw from POS with his ATM card. This is a boy no one knows he isn't our biological brother. My dad was crying when he got the alert asking who could have done this to him. He has budgeted #15,000 to buy materials for them to sew for the season and get food items before the incident. I called the bank contact center and they made it known to us that the ATM card numbers and his withdrawal pin number was linked online and used to withdraw the money. We know this is an inside work as a total stranger doesn't have access to all these details. We all know this 20 years old boy was behind it. I invited my brother and we both talked to him. He insisted that he knows nothing about it. We threatened to use the police and he began to confessed. He said he needed money desperately to buy shoe and clothes, and he observed my dad has over #60,000 in his account, then he told one of his Yahoo friend and he requested for his card details which he gave him then he withdrew the money. They have spent #39,000 from the money while his Yahoo friend has ran away having heard that the boy has confessed. He also confessed he has done it for two different people without being caught. The Yahoo friend rented a room apartment and his properties is still inside. My dad wants to arrest this 20 years old boy but he's considering the money he'd spent which he doesn't have. My mum was begging him not to arrest him but to send him away to live with his mother. The same mother that doesn't want to see him but want his money.

Although, this boy has been stealing right from childhood. He stole different neighbours money including ours. When caught my dad will beat him and talk to him. My brother has been adamant right from then sending this boy back to his mother but my father insisted saying the mother has rejected him and nobody knows tomorrow. My dad would say what if this boy was his son, would he rejected him or send him away. This boy went to spend holiday with his mother when he was 12 and the mother denied him in presence of everyone that he's one of her husband family members. She sent him away from her house barely 3 days he arrived and my mother sister brought him back.

This boy has emptied my father's account leaving him with almost nothing. My father wish to arrest him and lock him up but this cannot be done without money. My mum suggested we send him away to his mother.

Please what do you suggest!

If you guys are Christians your dad and mum should send him to go and learn a trade far away from home, or perhaps to go and live with a disciplined pastor that will make him fast and pray may be he will become a pastor in the future or a trader. If Muslim same thing send him to a cleric, it's either he learns a trade or the other, both ways he will become good for himself but the Best is keep him far away where he will be disciplined. Sending him to live with his mother will lead to him eventually harming your family based on this mentioned antecedent

Ynix:
If you guys are Christians your dad and mum should send him to go and learn a trade far away from home, or perhaps to go and live with a disciplined pastor that will make him fast and pray may be he will become a pastor in the future or a trader. If Muslim same thing send him to a cleric, it's either he learns a trade or the other, both ways he will become good for himself but the Best is keep him far away where he will be disciplined. [b]Sending him to live with his mother will lead to him eventually harming your family based on this mentioned anteceden[/b]t

how the boy go harm their family please. Explain to me like a primary school students.

Ynix:
If you guys are Christians your dad and mum should send him to go and learn a trade far away from home, or perhaps to go and live with a disciplined pastor that will make him fast and pray may be he will become a pastor in the future or a trader. If Muslim same thing send him to a cleric, it's either he learns a trade or the other, both ways he will become good for himself but the Best is keep him far away where he will be disciplined. Sending him to live with his mother will lead to him eventually harming your family based on this mentioned antecedent

imagine this poor man as your father. A child you helped raising from childhood doing this to your poor father. Would you give your father this kind of advice? His son has been telling him to send the boy away considering his lifestyle but he didn't listen. That is one of the problems we have in Africa. All these our parents thought they're wiser and smarter than us because of their age. The son knows what the boy is capable of doing that was the reason why he suggested the boy should leave. Look at what he has done? That boy can do anything against that family. He can actually harm the family if he continue living under their roof. He has proven to them that he isn't part of the family and he has also justify the reason why his biological mother rejected him.

Stop giving people advice that you cannot take.

Start him up with a bowl melon seed(Egussi) let him be breaking/peeling that one until he makes enough money to set up a legit business.

Villa12:
the father is late when he was 3 years old. The father is a married man but impregnated the mother. She didn't marry him and moved on with her life.

Discipline him but don't disconnect him from your family.

immortalcrown:
Discipline him but don't disconnect him from your family.

can you adopt him into your family?

UnfairLife7:
imagine this poor man as your father. A child you helped raising from childhood doing this to your poor father. Would you give your father this kind of advice? His son has been telling him to send the boy away considering his lifestyle but he didn't listen. That is one of the problems we have in Africa. All these our parents thought they're wiser and smarter than us because of their age. The son knows what the boy is capable of doing that was the reason why he suggested the boy should leave. Look at what he has done? That boy can do anything against that family. He can actually harm the family if he continue living under their roof. He has proven to them that he isn't part of the family and he has also justify the reason why his biological mother rejected him.

Stop giving people advice that you cannot take.

you have to be wise and comprehensive to understand what I wrote. but since you don't understand I will explain again. The guy said the mother of the guy lives around them, now imagine they sent him away to whom will he return to, the mother of course. and as it is the mother will poison the boy and the boy will become a bigger monster that will make life unbearable for the former foster father and his family. The best thing to do is to commit him to industry, he should be sent far away to learn a trade, do you understand now

GREATPIN77:
how the boy go harm their family please. Explain to me like a primary school students.

the mother lives around them, OP testified to the fact that she once advices him over phone to go into fraud. So if he is sent away, it's glaring he will return directly or indirectly to the mother who may influence him to become a more dangerous monster that will consume the foster family. Best option is to send him far away to learn a trade either from the religious angle or from the industrial angle

Send him straight to his irresponsible mother, before he send your parents to the grave early.

The bad behaviour is in his blood, he might never change.

immortalcrown:
Discipline him but don't disconnect him from your family.

We have disciplined him right from childhood. Punishment, flogging, counsel just name it. What you discipline him for today, he'd do worse the following week. We stopped disciplining him the moment he clocked 18 because we assume he has chosen the path he wants to live. He isn't the only one raised by my parents but he's completely different. The other two orphan children are young girls. They can't live together under the same roof with that boy. All his friends are school dropout and yahoo boys. We just need to take decision on what he did and the options for now according to my dad is to lock him up before sending him away while my mum suggested we send him away without locking him up.

Ynix:
the mother lives around them, OP testified to the fact that she once advices him over phone to go into fraud. So if he is sent away, it's glaring he will return directly or indirectly to the mother who may influence him to become a more dangerous monster that will consume the foster family. Best option is to send him far away to learn a trade either from the religious angle or from the industrial angle

the mother doesn't live around us. She lives far from us. She only communicate it with the boy on phone.

That boy is heartless. now he has joined yahoo. if you dnt send him away, the next thing may be to use your parents for ritual. God forbid

GREATPIN77:
can you adopt him into your family?

What is the basis of this question?

immortalcrown:
What is the basis of this question?

stop asking silly question please. I believe you aren't blind. You read what op posted from the beginning to the end and all you could come up with is for the family not to send him away. Until he uses op sisters undies for yahoo or used op parents for rituals before they can do the needful. Someone who can wiped out the money of the man that adopted him from little. That boy is a BASTARD and capable of killing.

Left to me, that boy will rot in jail but i will make sure i remove all his front teeth and give him beating of his life before sending him to jail

GREATPIN77:
stop asking silly question please. I believe you aren't blind. You read what op posted from the beginning to the end and all you could come up with is for the family not to send him away. Until he uses op sisters undies for yahoo or used op parents for rituals before they can do the needful. Someone who can wiped out the money of the man that adopted him from little. That boy is a BASTARD and capable of killing.

Left to me, that boy will rot in jail but i will make sure i remove all his front teeth and give him beating of his life before sending him to jail

Why are you attacking my comment? Why? Must I use your own approach?

I ask again, what is the basis of the question you asked me?

immortalcrown:
Why are you attacking my comment? Why? Must I use your own approach?

I ask again, what is the basis of the question you asked me?

you can adopt the boy when they send him away. Prove to us that you can do what you advice people to do.

Very simple

GREATPIN77:
you can adopt the boy when they send him away. Prove to us that you can do what you advice people to do.

Very simple

You are very toxic. Otherwise, point out any immorality in the comment you attack.

immortalcrown:
You are very toxic. Otherwise, point out any immorality in the comment you attack.

point out any immorality in my own comment that you should adopt the boy when they send him away. Or can't you adopt him? Prove to us that you can do what you tell people to do.

Villa12:
➜Although, this boy has been stealing right from childhood. He stole different neighbours money including ours. When caught my dad will beat him and talk to him. My brother has been adamant right from then sending this boy back to his mother but my father insisted saying the mother has rejected him and nobody knows tomorrow. My dad would say what if this boy was his son, would he rejected him or send him away. This boy went to spend holiday with his mother when he was 12 and the mother denied him in presence of everyone that he's one of her husband family members. She sent him away from her house barely 3 days he arrived and my mother sister brought him back.
This boy has emptied my father's account leaving him with almost nothing. My father wish to arrest him and lock him up but this cannot be done without money. My mum suggested we send him away to his mother. Please what do you suggest!

He has been stealing from time and rather than get him the punishment he deserved — punishment even a son equally deserves — your father kept using mind games to deceive himself. The boy is now a man and still stealing. What magic did he expect?

I am unsure what you mean it costs money to have him arrested and charged for stealing from your father's account. I mean do you have to pay for the service of the police abi wetin? Sending him back to his mother may be an alternative since he did do as his mother suggested after all, but the problem is if he decides to come back from his mother's will you all be ready and willing to take him back?

He is a man, I think the better decision would be to have him face the law at this point while you all support him where you can until he serves his time.

Ynix:
➜If you guys are Christians your dad and mum should send him to go and learn a trade far away from home, or perhaps to go and live with a disciplined pastor that will make him fast and pray may be he will become a pastor in the future or a trader. If Muslim same thing send him to a cleric, it's either he learns a trade or the other, both ways he will become good for himself but the Best is keep him far away where he will be disciplined. Sending him to live with his mother will lead to him eventually harming your family based on this mentioned antecedent

You have a person who has been stealing for a while. Rather than tackle that problem head-on, you suggest the family should send him far away to someone else so he will be that person's problem. And when you mentioned that he would be disciplined there by that person I guess that you expect that if he were to steal there that one you send him to would likely torture him for it while you can live your life blissfully ignorant of the details of it, abi? Why are you religious folks so without a conscience?

Villa12:
➜the father is late when he was 3 years old. The father is a married man but impregnated the mother. She didn't marry him and moved on with her life.

If this boy had been your flesh and blood, what would you have suggested your father do in that case?

Kobojunkie:
He has been stealing from time and rather than get him the punishment he deserved — punishment even a son equally deserves — your father kept using mind games to deceive himself. The boy is now a man and still stealing. What magic did he expect?

I am unsure what you mean it costs money to have him arrested and charged for stealing from your father's account. I mean do you have to pay for the service of the police abi wetin? Sending him back to his mother may be an alternative since he did do as his mother suggested after all, but the problem is if he decides to come back from his mother's will you all be ready and willing to take him back?

He is a man, I think the better decision would be to have him face the law at this point while you all support him where you can until he serves his time.

my dad isn't sending him away from here to his mother's place directly from the house. He'd take him to the station where he'd write down statement never to be seen in the environment where we live. He'd also be beaten before sending him away. Although some people suggested he should be charged to court for the crime he committed considering the fact that it isn't his first attempt. But my mum is begging not to go that extent. She only support to be sent away through the police. Everyone is fed-up of him.

Kobojunkie:
If this boy had been your flesh and blood, what would you have suggested your father do in that case?

unfortunately no flesh and blood of mine can do that. Colliding with outsiders to steal from your poor father. Not even in the next world.

Villa12:
unfortunately no flesh and blood of mine can do that. Colliding with outsiders to steal from your poor father. Not even in the next world.

Many out there steal from their parents as well. So, don't pretend your blood is exempt.

Please answer the question! If this boy had been your flesh and blood, what would you have suggested your father do in that case?

Villa12:
➜my dad isn't sending him away from here to his mother's place directly from the house. H[b]e'd take him to the station where he'd write down statement never to be seen in the environment where we live. He'd also be beaten before sending him away[/b].
➜Although some people suggested he should be charged to court for the crime he committed considering the fact that it isn't his first attempt. But my mum is begging not to go that extent. She only support to be sent away through the police. Everyone is fed-up of him.

That is a stewpid idea that could very quickly backfire! For one, your father has no legal right to beat or ban him from any environment unless a place he owns. Second, this might enrage the boy in the future and may end badly for your family.

Also, It baffles me to think that a man who supposedly raised the child would be so willing to throw him away in such a manner.

2. Sent away through the police? How? You are supposed to get him arrested, charged, and possibly jailed for crimes committed. He is 20. What are you lot dragging your feet on that for?

GREATPIN77:
point out any immorality in my own comment that you should adopt the boy when they send him away. Or can't you adopt him? Prove to us that you can do what you tell people to do.

If you are not toxic, tell me why you responded to my main comment in the manner you did.