₦airaland Forum

I joined a new line of business after loosing my previous job. Company shut down so everyone had to leave. There are many aspects of this new business so you would always get people to do some part for you while you pay them. Finally I got my first direct business and got someone to assist me with some part of it of which I paid him for. He was actually guiding me because it was my first direct job. While doing this job, I met a lady who was also doing her own job. I noticed she has been in the business for long and very good in it. I went to her and told her few challenges I was having. We exchanged contacts and ever since I would call her once in a while to make one inquiry or the other and she has been helpful. Business has been dull and sometimes I feel like quitting. Someone has advised me to use my car for taxi sometimes when I don't have any business on ground. Honestly I find it difficult to do besides the car is a bit old and might begin to give wahalla if I stress it much. I am no longer a baby and would have married if not for lack of money, so marriage is one of my major priorities at this point.

Last week I remembered that lady that assisted me with the job. I called her and inquired if she is single and she said yes. We had a date and I told her I want a relationship with her and she didn't hesitate. We had some discussions from job to school & then family. In my mind I was having the thought to marry her if things work out because I felt we might be able to achieve a lot together. Since she knows the job more than me, I can hustle for business & contacts while she will be in the field doing the job. It looked so perfect to me but then she is not exactly my type of girl physically and I noticed she talks a bit too much. I was also concerned about her age. She told me she is 35 but I feel she is older than that. All these concerns I was willing to cope with them until she told me something that scared me. She told me that even though she is a Christian and prays very well but she is also into native tradition because of the job and other things. She told me that once things don't go as planned she normally seek for solution in a native way. She also told me to look deeply into my own life to see the need to look for solution to my own problems. She told me that in her dream before, she always see herself in the village and sometimes in the secondary school. I told her I also see myself in the secondary school in my dreams always. I always see myself writing exam with people, almost everyone will be writing well while I will sit alone and won't know what to write. Sometimes I won't even know the particular subject I was going to write until I receive the question paper. She then told me I need to find solution traditionally that she will give me a contact. She said that she want me to know what she does so that in the future I won't feel bad if I find out. She is now in love with me and also willing to support me financially to seek this solution traditionally. From the discussion, I noticed that she rely so much on this traditional stuff & almost all her faith is in it.

Personally i don't like the whole traditional thing and my family hates to hear anything like native doctor, herbal this or any traditional means. I am also the last born and respect my siblings a lot. If they find out what she does, they would never accept her. But then can it be true that i will find a solution traditionally as she suggested? What if she keeps going deeper to the extent of bringing a shrine into my family. I am very confused. This girl is industrious and would make a great team but then her age and this traditional stuff. I am 38 and everyone is asking me, "how is my family",thinking I am married. I feel ashamed to be single at this age.

People with experience especially elders in the house, please I need your advice on this.
Admin please can you push to front page. Thanks.

elobrave17:
I joined a new line of business after loosing my previous job. Company shut down so everyone had to leave. There are many aspects of this new business so you would always get people to do some part for you while you pay them. Finally I got my first direct business and got someone to assist me with some part of it of which I paid him for. He was actually guiding me because it was my first direct job. While doing this job, I met a lady who was also doing her own job. I noticed she has been in the business for long and very good in it. I went to her and told her few challenges I was having. We exchanged contacts and ever since I would call her once in a while to make one inquiry or the other and she has been helpful. Business has been dull and sometimes I feel like quitting. Someone has advised me to use my car for taxi sometimes when I don't have any business on ground. Honestly I find it difficult to do besides the car is a bit old and might begin to give wahalla if I stress it much. I am no longer a baby and would have married if not for lack of money, so marriage is one of my major priorities at this point.

Last week I remembered that lady that assisted me with the job. I called her and inquired if she is single and she said yes. We had a date and I told her I want a relationship with her and she didn't hesitate. We had some discussions from job to school & then family. In my mind I was having the thought to marry her if things work out because I felt we might be able to achieve a lot together. Since she knows the job more than me, I can hustle for business & contacts while she will be in the field doing the job. It looked so perfect to me but then she is not exactly my type of girl physically and I noticed she talks a bit too much. I was also concerned about her age. She told me she is 35 but I feel she is older than that. All these concerns I was willing to cope with them until she told me something that scared me. She told me that even though she is a Christian and prays very well but she is also into native tradition because of the job and other things. She told me that once things don't go as planned she normally seek for solution in a native way.

People with experience especially elders in the house, please I need your advice on this.
Admin please can you push to front page. Thanks.

I just hope you've not started what you'll not be able to finish....

dawnomike:
I just hope you've not started what you'll not be able to finish....

I have not touched her if that's what you mean

elobrave17:
I have not touched her if that's what you mean

pussy and breast can make a man be unfortunate for rest of his life

Be careful

You said you life is stagnant

Business is not going well

You are not married

Now you met a lady who herself is a solution to the problems above yet you are concerned about her method...

Maybe not being to a native doctor is why you are not moving. Do whatever but I won't do any blood money

PP123:
pussy and breast can make a man be unfortunate for his rest of life

Be careful

Those are not really my problem at this stage of my iife. My question is if it's ok to marry such a lady.
Thanks for your contribution.

elobrave17:
I have not touched her if that's what you mean

That is not what I meant...
If you choose not to proceed with the relationship after she has fallen in love with you, your matter can get to the shrine.

Other people might have different opinions, but for me; anything diabolical is a NO! NO!! for me..

If you're a Christian, stick to your faith no matter the trials and tribulation... If you're a traditionalist; stick to your belief in peace.

You can not serve play the two sides and believe all is well...
I have been through so much in life and came out of them to know that God is faithfull if only you wait on Him.

#MyOpinion

Bro,run for your dear life.

Let’s address the bigger issues first.

1. Her Age and Marital Status, ask questions o , does she have kids? why is she still unmarried at 35? There is usually a reason why a lady is unmarried at 35. she could have one difficult personality that will take a very very closer look for you to discover, or she has an unresolved heartbreak. Assess her very very well and be sure you can handle whatever you discover. But don't give it a try until you discover why she's unmarried at 35..... ofcourse she’s someone’s daughter, and every parent hopes their child gets married someday but know who you are getting married to first.

2. Health issue, by 35, many women have some health challenges, especially regarding childbirth. You don’t want to marry at 38 and then struggle to have kids. I would recommend an unorthodox method.... if you both decide to marry and want children, consider pregnancy before or after introduction before the main marriage.

Now let's discuss the Native Doctor Issue, are you spiritually strong enough to counter her beliefs? Can your prayers bring success in business, break spiritual attacks, or reveal hidden enemies? Because if you must lead by example, you need to be spiritual strong.

Life requires spirituality in one way or another either by Christianity , islam or native. Even powerful politicians go to extreme lengths for spiritual backing. And i'm sure you won't ask question before marrying Tinubu's daughter... I’m not endorsing native doctor, but if you believe she's wrong, prove that your faith works better. Tell her to bring a client and do 3days fasting and prayer to secure the client and see if she won't gradually start dropping her native doctor believe.

Women can change religions easily, women often adopt their husband’s faith and that has always been the norm. I once converted a Christian lady to Islam back in the days when i was a muslim, she’s now a devoted hijab sister till tomorrow yet I later became a born-again Christian. history has always shown marriages where men influence their wives' religion. Even in yoruba culture, a wife traditionally follows her husband's faith but you have to prove that you can lead and that you are strong enough. Can you cabash very well and change situation ?

So @ elobrave17 the real question is: Are you strong enough in your faith to bring her into it?

elobrave17:
Those are not really my problem at this stage of my iife. My question is if it's ok to marry such a lady.
Thanks for your contribution.

don't marry her

She'll turn you to fool's and dummies once you get married

Don't talk to her or delete her number as soon as possible

A word is enough for a wise

iamnotillicit:
You said you life is stagnant

Business is not going well

You are not married

Now you met a lady who herself is a solution to the problems above yet you are concerned about her method...

Maybe not being to a native doctor is why you are not moving. Do whatever but I won't do any blood money

I was trained never to indulge in such that's why my whole family has never gone to make any inquiry no matter the situation but then as a man, I am having this feeling of trying something different since nothing is working out for now. Like you said, I will never do blood money for any reason. She said it is for me to settle the elders of my family and stuff like that. I am scared but at the same time, I wouldn't know if any solution lies there.

koladata:
there are more things to worry about here bro

Can you please explain, thanks.

dawnomike:
That is not what I meant...
If you choose not to proceed with the relationship after she has fallen in love with you, your matter can get to the shrine.

Other people might have different opinions, but for me; anything diabolical is a NO! NO!! for me..

If you're a Christian, stick to your faith no matter the trials and tribulation... If you're a traditionalist; stick to your belief in peace.

You can not serve play the two sides and believe all is well...
I have been through so much in life and came out of them to know that God is faithfull if only you wait on Him.

#MyOpinion

Thanks, I really appreciate.

[don't be surprised, your pastor may be going to a native doctor place for solutions

elobrave17:
People with experience especially elders in the house, please I need your advice on this.
Admin please can you push to front page. Thanks.

Don't allow your desperation push you from being a man. Do you want her to chart the course of your life for you?
You think her life is ROSY? What will happen when her own DOWNTIME comes?
This guy, look well oh.

elobrave17:
I have not touched her if that's what you mean

Bro be very careful......

At first, I didn't see anything wrong having a woman that's bold and using traditional ways to solve her problems but then family will definitely come in and children as well....

The sacrifices and demands from those traditional people might have you kill all your siblings and relatives to appease the gods.

Be careful bro.


Also, don't you think it might even be too late now since she's in love with you? If you want to cut off , she fit still use Baba tie you down or even knackered you madness for making her fall in love with you.....😂😂

Na the girl go kill you if you eventually marry her.
Write your will immediately you got married to her

Back to your previous thread, have you gift your late mother what she has been asking for before she passed on?

As a Christian you are, continue to pray and be steadfast on your belief.

koladata:
Let’s address the bigger issues first.

1. Her Age and Marital Status, ask questions o , does she have kids? why is she still unmarried at 35? There is usually a reason why a lady is unmarried at 35. she could have one difficult personality that will take a very very closer look for you to discover, or she has an unresolved heartbreak. Assess her very very well and be sure you can handle whatever you discover. But don't give it a try until you discover why she's unmarried at 35..... ofcourse she’s someone’s daughter, and every parent hopes their child gets married someday but know who you are getting married to first.

2. Health issue, by 35, many women have some health challenges, especially regarding childbirth. You don’t want to marry at 38 and then struggle to have kids. I would recommend an unorthodox method.... if you both decide to marry and want children, consider pregnancy before or after introduction before the main marriage.

Now let's discuss the Native Doctor Issue, are you spiritually strong enough to counter her beliefs? Can your prayers bring success in business, break spiritual attacks, or reveal hidden enemies? Because if you must lead by example, you need to be spiritual strength.

Life requires spirituality in one way or another either by Christianity , islam or native. Even powerful politicians go to extreme lengths for spiritual backing. And i'm sure you won't ask question before marrying Tinubu's daughter... I’m not endorsing native doctor, but if you believe she's wrong, prove that your faith works better. Tell her to bring a client and do 3days fasting and prayer to secure the client and see if she won't gradually start dropping her native doctor believe.

Women can change religions easily, women often adopt their husband’s faith and that has always been the norm. I once converted a Christian lady to Islam back in the days when i was a muslim, she’s now a devoted hijab sister till tomorrow yet I later became a born-again Christian. history has always shown marriages where men influence their wives' religion. Even in yoruba culture, a wife traditionally follows her husband's faith but you have to prove that you can lead and that you are strong enough. Can you cabash very well and change situation ?

So @ elobrave17 the real question is: Are you strong enough in your faith to bring her into it?

Thank you very much.
Honestly my head is full, headache since yesterday over this issue.

JASONjnr:
Bro be very careful......

At first, I didn't see anything wrong having a woman that's bold and using traditional ways to solve her problems but then family will definitely come in and children as well....

The sacrifices and demands from those traditional people might have you kill all your siblings and relatives to appease the gods.

Be careful bro.


Also, don't you think it might even be too late now since she's in love with you? If you want to cut off , she fit still use Baba tie you down or even knackered you madness for making her fall in love with you.....😂😂

I am very worried too, not just about babalawo. I fear let her not spoil the small business that I am doing already if I leave her. Chaiiiiiii I think I am in a mess already!!!!

AllBlack:
Don't allow your desperation push you from being a man. Do you want her to chart the course of your life for you?
You think her life is ROSY? What will happen when her own DOWNTIME comes?
This guy, look well oh.

Thank you
I think desperation is what's pushing me because normal me will tell her to leave the moment she mentioned traditional means. If not for hardship and bad economy,,, life sha.

You're not in any mess. Do you think she will just wake up and take your name or business to the shrine. Juju no dey work that way.

elobrave17:
I am very worried too, not just about babalawo. I fear let her not spoil the small business that I am doing already if I leave her. Chaiiiiiii I think I am in a mess already!!!!

I can understand your predicaments, life can become so frustrating when career and marital growth appear stagnant.. However, I will advice you to calm down, keep improving on your efforts and hold unto God in prayer. Please note, I mentioned prayer because you implied that has being you family's belief.

Concerning the traditional thing, please don't give in to that temptation as you will get entangled and it comes with repercussions.

Then for the relationship, don't call it quit suddenly , just start showing a gradual loss of interest. You can even tell her that your Mum prayed about it and said it won't work. The key thing is that you can pretend you still love her but for the pressure from your family.

Gr8mind07:
I can understand your predicaments, life can become so frustrating when career and marital growth appear stagnant.. However, I will advice you to calm down, keep improving on your efforts and hold unto God in prayer. Please note, I mentioned prayer because you implied that has being you family's belief.

Concerning the traditional thing, please don't give in to that temptation as you will get entangled and it comes with repercussions.

Then for the relationship, don't call it quit suddenly , just start showing a gradual loss of interest. You can even tell her that your Mum prayed about it and said it won't work. The key thing is that you can pretend you still love her but for the pressure from your family.

This is comforting
Thank you very much

elobrave17:
Those are not really my problem at this stage of my iife. My question is if it's ok to marry such a lady.
Thanks for your contribution.

Runway from her

run

My brother just keep on doin your business and be praying to God, because any lady that visit herbalist too much s a problem ooo

Last last after una marry finish the herbalist fit still dey bleep am, if you fit change her mind set to beleif in prayer I think that will be fine

You fit check her well know more about her family, check the relationship between her father and her mother.

The solution is with you.... Advice yourself based on knowledge of yourself... Know what works for you and what doesn't work for you.... Nobody should help you make this decision ... The truth is you might end up regretting no matter the choice you make and you might end up without regrets too .. it's your path, nobody will help you walk through it.. you alone understands your pain...

iamnotillicit:
You said you life is stagnant

Business is not going well

You are not married

Now you met a lady who herself is a solution to the problems above yet you are concerned about her method...

Maybe not being to a native doctor is why you are not moving. Do whatever but I won't do any blood money

Op listen to this person, can’t lie you fam. Spiritual is real and what if she is the path to open your eyes to reality. If you ever get to a native man place, never talk or discuss about having money but rather about making your life better and meaningful.

I hail men that come across a lady and quickly conclude in their mind that they are going to marry them. You are the real MVP.

I dont think its safe to have dealings with anyone that visits the herbalists for anything. I dont believe Juju works tho, but those people have the tendency to report you to almost anyone, killers inclusive.

Sha no lead her on.

Plus, she's 35?

elobrave17:
Thank you very much.
Honestly my head is full, headache since yesterday over this issue.

You are welcome my brother .. good luck

Clearly you have been bewitched for asking us this question. That shows how very strong she is