₦airaland Forum

Kobojunkie:
Nonsense! Of course, he needs to state it since no two relationships are the same and all of that.

Since he didn't you shouldn't go concluding she is the problem.

Read the OP's post, the problem is clearly stated there

RealityKings1:
➜Read the OP's post, the problem is clearly stated there

All OP said is she threatened several times to leave over small issues. He didn't explain what constitutes small issues... the average Nigerian man, particularly those living in Nigeria, considers something like cheating a small issue... when in other climes that is a solid deal breaker. Again, OP did not provide us with details so it is unfair to conclude about these things.

Kobojunkie:
All OP said is she threatened several times to leave over small issues. He didn't explain what constitutes small issues... the average Nigerian man, particularly those living in Nigeria, considers something like cheating a small issue... when in other climes that is a solid deal breaker. Again, OP did not provide us with details so it is unfair to conclude about these things.

How do I explain OP's post to you so that you'll understand it has nothing to do with "average Nigerian"

👇👇

I wouldn't even bother. I feel like I'm losing myself to this thing called marriage, aside from the responsibilities that comes with providing, the mental and psychological stress.

👆👆

There you go

RealityKings1:
➜How do I explain OP's post to you so that you'll understand it has nothing to do with "average Nigerian"
There you go

There are many reasons why a person would feel mentally stressed out and one of the major reasons is taking on a burden that one is ill-equipped to handle. There are so many people in marriages that are not built for it. The fact that OP is considering running away from the marriage gives me the sense that this might likely be the situation with him. So why would you automagically conclude his wife is to blame for OP's complaint here?

Kobojunkie:
There are many reasons why a person would feel mentally stressed out and one of the major reasons is taking on a burden that one is ill-equipped to handle. There are so many people in marriages that are not built for it. The fact that OP is considering running away from the marriage gives me the sense that this might likely be the situation with him. So why would you automagically conclude his wife is to blame for OP's complaint here?

So a wife threatening to leave her martial home where her kids are living is not supposed to be one of the reasons that could mentally stress a husband?

RealityKings1:
➜So a wife threatening to leave her martial home where her kids are is not supposed to be one of the reasons that could mentally stress a husband?

Did OP tell you why she threatened to leave him? Why do you assume that her reason for wanting to leave is not equally valid as OP's? Is a wife not a human being? Is her supposed mental health not equally important as OP's?

Kobojunkie:
Did OP tell you why she threatened to leave him? Why do you assume that her reason for wanting to leave is not equally valid as OP's? Is a wife not a human being? Is her supposed mental health not equally important as OP's?

Threat is a verb. That's an action word
Leave is a verb. That's an action word

Do you understand it now?

RealityKings1:
➜Threat is a verb. That's an action word. Leave is a verb. That's an action word Do you understand it now?

I am afraid I do not follow at all!

Kobojunkie:
I am afraid I do not follow at all!

Don't worry about it

People who aren't married with zero experience about marriage will be analyzing and stating things with so much confidence.

Single people turn marriage pundit...SMH

Lol.

funkmrflexx:
I've been married close to 4 years now with a 2 year old boy, but marriage isn't what I envisioned it to be.

Like the said, if marriage was renewable every 5 years, I wouldn't even bother. I feel like I'm losing myself to this thing called marriage, aside from the responsibilities that comes with providing, the mental and psychological stress.

I've never been this stressed in my life and I'm someone who's usually able to handle a lot of stress, I just feel like I need time alone from everything and everyone, no calls, no text. Nothing.

And my wife even makes it worse with threats of leaving the marriage over any small issue. I think the biggest mistake of my life is getting married and I know a lot go men go through this to but they can't talk.

And that's why a lot of men die young these days.

Just take second wife and if possible, third wife and see how you will enjoy the rest of your life.

No capping bro.

Go and ask ned nwoko.

Tit4Tat1:
It's always like that.. Try something new with ur spouse, go on vacations, play and joke as often as you can.. Just try to have some fun and see the spike coming back into your marriage

you don't handle a woman with kid-glove.

The best he can do is to take a beautiful second wife.

IT IS ONLY YOU AND IT IS BECAUSE YOU ARE MAYBE BROKE, RELAX AND TPAIN ERA WILL FADE

funkmrflexx:
I've been married close to 4 years now with a 2 year old boy, but marriage isn't what I envisioned it to be.

Like the said, if marriage was renewable every 5 years, I wouldn't even bother. I feel like I'm losing myself to this thing called marriage, aside from the responsibilities that comes with providing, the mental and psychological stress.

I've never been this stressed in my life and I'm someone who's usually able to handle a lot of stress, I just feel like I need time alone from everything and everyone, no calls, no text. Nothing.

And my wife even makes it worse with threats of leaving the marriage over any small issue. I think the biggest mistake of my life is getting married and I know a lot go men go through this to but they can't talk.

And that's why a lot of men die young these days.

tuoyoojo:
It's mainly bad news that makes headlines
There are many marriages that are working where the couples are happy so no one should feel marriages are bad

Lol. Did the OP denigrate marriage? Chill. He only came here to vent and let things off his chest. If things were going great for him, he wouldn't be here.

However only the marriages with issues are brought here. If someone comes to share that he is happy in his marriage, many bad belle people would call him a simp and wish his marriage would fail so few people come online to talk.

As I have said, If things were going great for him, he wouldn't be here. Besides, no would call a man a simp because his marriage is happy and going well except he exhibited simpish attributes and behaviours.

My apologies to the OP for the issues you are experiencing but it important to look every well before marrying. Most times the red flags are there but we ignore it, leave it unresolved or have this larger than life expectation that we can change the person

When kasala burst we then come to blame the institution rather than blame ourselves

Marriage is sweet don't let anyone deceive you. Pray that God would guide you to marry a good woman who has a kind heart and who is also God fearing Also you as a man, treat the woman the same way you want someone to treat your sister if you have one and see how sweet your marriage would be.

funkmrflexx:
I've been married close to 4 years now with a 2 year old boy, but marriage isn't what I envisioned it to be.

Like the said, if marriage was renewable every 5 years, I wouldn't even bother. I feel like I'm losing myself to this thing called marriage, aside from the responsibilities that comes with providing, the mental and psychological stress.

I've never been this stressed in my life and I'm someone who's usually able to handle a lot of stress, I just feel like I need time alone from everything and everyone, no calls, no text. Nothing.

And my wife even makes it worse with threats of leaving the marriage over any small issue. I think the biggest mistake of my life is getting married and I know a lot go men go through this to but they can't talk.

And that's why a lot of men die young these days.

Oga, I would have advised you to divorce your wife. However, should you decide to remain, ensure to show her the door when next she threatens to leave.

funkmrflexx:
I've been married close to 4 years now with a 2 year old boy, but marriage isn't what I envisioned it to be.

Like the said, if marriage was renewable every 5 years, I wouldn't even bother. I feel like I'm losing myself to this thing called marriage, aside from the responsibilities that comes with providing, the mental and psychological stress.

I've never been this stressed in my life and I'm someone who's usually able to handle a lot of stress, I just feel like I need time alone from everything and everyone, no calls, no text. Nothing.

And my wife even makes it worse with threats of leaving the marriage over any small issue. I think the biggest mistake of my life is getting married and I know a lot go men go through this to but they can't talk.

And that's why a lot of men die young these days.

When they tell you people to wait you won't listen listen but few years into the marriage you would be giving unsolicited advice.

Abegi!

funkmrflexx:
I've been married close to 4 years now with a 2 year old boy, but marriage isn't what I envisioned it to be.

Like the said, if marriage was renewable every 5 years, I wouldn't even bother. I feel like I'm losing myself to this thing called marriage, aside from the responsibilities that comes with providing, the mental and psychological stress.

I've never been this stressed in my life and I'm someone who's usually able to handle a lot of stress, I just feel like I need time alone from everything and everyone, no calls, no text. Nothing.

And my wife even makes it worse with threats of leaving the marriage over any small issue. I think the biggest mistake of my life is getting married and I know a lot go men go through this to but they can't talk.

And that's why a lot of men die young these days.

You had and have a very dysfunctional home and upbringing. You admitted to being violent. You hate your mum. Absentee father. Your mum gave birth to 7 of you from diff men.
Give your wife a break.

Seek therapy ASAP

Omo ehn... The comment section is full. My advice is for you guys to separate not divorce, meet the church committee or whoever joined you guys, tell them your plight. Your wife brain go reset.

Martinez39s:
Oga, I would have advised you to divorce your wife. However, should you decide to remain, ensure to show her the door when next she threatens to leave.

Before you start advising him, go to his topics.
Wicked soul.

I have noticed it's guys who had dysfunctional upbringing which loads of you had that want to kill their women but not their daughters.
See as this one rushed out to give his usual wicked comment.
Make sure you stick it to your fellow guy anus cos the moment you put it in a woman pusy, you are a conquered fellow. Be it a prostitute or one night stand.

The thing I have always hated is that threat to leave whenever anything shele. Any problem, it leads to a talk about leaving. For the person that dares not to mention such because they know if they do, they will be booted from the marriage, it feels like the other partner is really emotionally detached and taking everything for granted. After all, if you value this the same way I do, why will you talk like that? Why is it so easy for you to be threatening that it’s over whenever anything happens?

Tit4Tat1:
It's always like that.. Try something new with ur spouse, go on vacations, play and joke as often as you can.. Just try to have some fun and see the spike coming back into your marriage

Afi spike naa

Sonnobax15:

Omoh,the kind of news I've been reading here on Nairaland recently especially since I started thinking about putting the ring into my banny's finger are so terrorizing and alarming

Make e no come look like say I no learn from others people mistakes cha .

Op,it's well with your soul...that's all I've got to say.

I'm never an advocate of learning by one's mistake but learn from others but you see this one you nust learn from your mistakes

gasparpisciotta:
Marriage is not for everybody.

To some bliss, to many others horror.

A good woman will make a good marriage, a nagging uncooperative woman is hell

You can even set aside nagging but you see this uncooperative? Its the biggest red flag ever

funkmrflexx:
I've been married close to 4 years now with a 2 year old boy, but marriage isn't what I envisioned it to be.

Like the said, if marriage was renewable every 5 years, I wouldn't even bother. I feel like I'm losing myself to this thing called marriage, aside from the responsibilities that comes with providing, the mental and psychological stress.

I've never been this stressed in my life and I'm someone who's usually able to handle a lot of stress, I just feel like I need time alone from everything and everyone, no calls, no text. Nothing.

And my wife even makes it worse with threats of leaving the marriage over any small issue. I think the biggest mistake of my life is getting married and I know a lot go men go through this to but they can't talk.

And that's why a lot of men die young these days.

U are welcome

tuoyoojo:
It's mainly bad news that makes headlines
There are many marriages that are working where the couples are happy so no one should feel marriages are bad

However only the marriages with issues are brought here. If someone comes to share that he is happy in his marriage, many bad belle people would call him a simp and wish his marriage would fail so few people come online to talk.

My apologies to the OP for the issues you are experiencing but it important to look every well before marrying. Most times the red flags are there but we ignore it, leave it unresolved or have this larger than life expectation that we can change the person

When kasala burst we then come to blame the institution rather than blame ourselves

Marriage is sweet don't let anyone deceive you. Pray that God would guide you to marry a good woman who has a kind heart and who is also God fearing Also you as a man, treat the woman the same way you want someone to treat your sister if you have one and see how sweet your marriage would be

Be like you no get the update God don comot hand if marriages ooo check Genesis.

Let the woman be the chooser that's only when a man can enjoy living with a woman.

This is the law of Satan and Eagan Na hi get the earth laugh at your own peril.


I'm sorry for any any man wey never know a woman must fill your job is to screen her so you no go go marry leftover.

funkmrflexx:
I've been married close to 4 years now with a 2 year old boy, but marriage isn't what I envisioned it to be.

Like the said, if marriage was renewable every 5 years, I wouldn't even bother. I feel like I'm losing myself to this thing called marriage, aside from the responsibilities that comes with providing, the mental and psychological stress.

I've never been this stressed in my life and I'm someone who's usually able to handle a lot of stress, I just feel like I need time alone from everything and everyone, no calls, no text. Nothing.

And my wife even makes it worse with threats of leaving the marriage over any small issue. I think the biggest mistake of my life is getting married and I know a lot go men go through this to but they can't talk.

And that's why a lot of men die young these days.

You won't die,although it is possible to marry your enemy,life on earth is full of projects which requires tools from God to handle,gear up no retreat,no surrender.

funkmrflexx:
I've been married close to 4 years now with a 2 year old boy, but marriage isn't what I envisioned it to be.

Like the said, if marriage was renewable every 5 years, I wouldn't even bother. I feel like I'm losing myself to this thing called marriage, aside from the responsibilities that comes with providing, the mental and psychological stress.

I've never been this stressed in my life and I'm someone who's usually able to handle a lot of stress, I just feel like I need time alone from everything and everyone, no calls, no text. Nothing.

And my wife even makes it worse with threats of leaving the marriage over any small issue. I think the biggest mistake of my life is getting married and I know a lot go men go through this to but they can't talk.

And that's why a lot of men die young these days.

Sincerely, marriage is difficult. Extremely difficult.
I've been going through similar stress for the past one year. I don't know how many times I contemplated killing myself. At a point, the only things that prevented me was the thought that my unborn child would grow up without a father, and my child would be narrated a big lie about how her father gave up before she was born.
If I had known that this was how marriage would be like, nothing would have made me marry.
Sincerely.
My advise is, don't give up. Your wife may be harsh and say all manner of nonsense, but your innocent child needs you.

To the single ones, I strongly advise you, don't marry anyone to please your parents, marry someone that is good for you and who is your friend.
Don't marry anyone who does not understand you and who you don't understand.

Guys, Make sure your finances are in order before you marry. Women will tell you "don't worry we will manage" but the same woman will insult you after marriage if you can't meet up with your responsibilities.

Dont take any loan before you marry. If you can't afford something, tell your future wife that you can't afford it. If she can't handle this, she should go. Call it off. Your life will be miserable if debt repayments are crippling you after your wedding.

Sapeleboy911:
It's understandable; my cousin had some marital issues in October. Although he has thrown in the towel. He has been a faithful and very open husband to his wife for over 9 years. Then suddenly the wife started developing that ego attitude. From buying properties without the husband's consent to attending evening parties without informing her husband. Her business is booming, but still, she will disturb him for virtually everything. At any slight misunderstanding, she threatens to quit the marriage. She even had the guts to rent an apartment and left her marital home, leaving behind her husband and 2 kids. We attended one family meeting to another, just to make peace. Still, this woman wouldn't let peace rain. At the last meeting I attended, I told them that nobody should ever call me for any meeting again and that I was fed up. My bro told everyone present that he was no longer interested in such a problematic, and stress filled marriage.

He took the kids to the woman and warned her never to come near his house again. A month down the line bro has added weight now looking like a fresh agege bread. What's the secret I asked. The response was peace of mind. He can eat once a day, and he doesn't feel hungry. He sleeps when he likes and wakes up when he likes. I was even told that the ex-wife was making some reconciliatory efforts. Although she dare not call me.

leaving the kids to de witch is another problem look at how she will brainwashed them,in future ur bro is on long tin

What?! If my wife threaten me of leaving our marriage, I will be very happy 😁

But we are good

Before marriage did you plan? Planning is not just financial, - it's financial+ physically+spiritually+ emotionally.

I have been married for 6 years now. No single regret. I'm not perfect neither is wifey. But we both weather the storms with love.

Even when the total income in the family was less than 6 figures, we were living fine. Every expenses in the month is well figured out. Food time table (e.g. I know what I am eating on the 19th of February along with the cost involved), house-work time table, etc. every thing is well planned.

So there is virtually no need for any argument unless the devil wants to strike and that is well prevented by prayer and daily family devotion.

God gave me my wife, I have studied her, she has studied me, we all know our strengths and weaknesses. All problems in the marriage are channelled to him for wisdom and guidance to resolve them.

funkmrflexx:
I've been married close to 4 years now with a 2 year old boy, but marriage isn't what I envisioned it to be.

Like the said, if marriage was renewable every 5 years, I wouldn't even bother. I feel like I'm losing myself to this thing called marriage, aside from the responsibilities that comes with providing, the mental and psychological stress.

I've never been this stressed in my life and I'm someone who's usually able to handle a lot of stress, I just feel like I need time alone from everything and everyone, no calls, no text. Nothing.

And my wife even makes it worse with threats of leaving the marriage over any small issue. I think the biggest mistake of my life is getting married and I know a lot go men go through this to but they can't talk.

And that's why a lot of men die young these days.

funkmrflexx:
I've been married close to 4 years now with a 2 year old boy, but marriage isn't what I envisioned it to be.

Like the said, if marriage was renewable every 5 years, I wouldn't even bother. I feel like I'm losing myself to this thing called marriage, aside from the responsibilities that comes with providing, the mental and psychological stress.

I've never been this stressed in my life and I'm someone who's usually able to handle a lot of stress, I just feel like I need time alone from everything and everyone, no calls, no text. Nothing.

And my wife even makes it worse with threats of leaving the marriage over any small issue. I think the biggest mistake of my life is getting married and I know a lot go men go through this to but they can't talk.

And that's why a lot of men die young these days.

Young man don't be ashamed to say the real reason you are tired of your marriage. It is financial burden, you are struggling financially to sustain your family/marriage hence the reason for your regrets of getting married.


If you are financially buoyant and still tired of your marriage because you feel bored init, then you have no one to blame because with money you can spice up your life with or without your wife.


I am married, happily married and no regrets.


Spending time with my adorable little daughter alone makes my day a sweet day. I don't want to talk about my son because that one alone is more than a job, he is too active and playful.


Replan your financial life, find ways to expand your income and also diversify your income so you can have multiple streams of income using Internet and social media as a leverage.



Your wife is not your problem, your problem is money, Owo, kudi, ego....pray for financial upliftment and stop making it look like it's about your marriage to your wife unless you married a financial liability, a nag and zero ambition lady, then you are still to blame, stop scaring the single aspiring couples with your story. Go straight to the point why you are tired of your marriage; you don't have enough money to sustain your wife and child due to Tinubu's stupid policies that have ruined Nigeria's economy beyond measure.

Sonnobax15:

Omoh,the kind of news I've been reading here on Nairaland recently especially since I started thinking about putting the ring into my banny's finger are so terrorizing and alarming

Make e no come look like say I no learn from other people mistakes cha .

Op,it's well with your soul...that's all I've got to say.

While I do read here how lots of people are stressed and regretting marriage, my own experience is not the same. I'm enjoying my marriage. The most important thing is getting married to the right person. So now that it's not too late, be sure she's the right one for you b4 u say I do.