₦airaland Forum

[quote author=zoomzoom post=134058971][/quote]It takes less than a week to know someone, marriage is about two people willing to make it work and growing together, it matters not how long you've known one another, what matters is the passion!

I've seen people court/date for years only to get married and divorce within a year or two. I've seen people date for less than 6 months and their marriage lasts for decades, no manual to this thing......The OP is just a child who can't think beyond himself!

Just go on holiday for yourself clear your mind. And dont hold any grudges, Life is abundant.

Cheerful conversation is key toa happy marriage
I won't advise anyone to leave their marriage
Neither will I advise anyone to stay in a toxic marriage.

funkmrflexx:
I've been married close to 4 years now with a 2 year old boy, but marriage isn't what I envisioned it to be.

Like the said, if marriage was renewable every 5 years, I wouldn't even bother. I feel like I'm losing myself to this thing called marriage, aside from the responsibilities that comes with providing, the mental and psychological stress.

I've never been this stressed in my life and I'm someone who's usually able to handle a lot of stress, I just feel like I need time alone from everything and everyone, no calls, no text. Nothing.

And my wife even makes it worse with threats of leaving the marriage over any small issue. I think the biggest mistake of my life is getting married and I know a lot go men go through this to but they can't talk.

And that's why a lot of men die young these days.

You already want out because of the new responsibilities that come with having wife and kids and now, you claim that your wife is always threatening you that she would leave. Why not encourage her to leave since that's what you are secretly wishing for? Or, may be I didn't understand your rant very well. Irresponsible man

Welcome to my world .I regret my marriage with all my heart.My wife is the most stubborn,selfish and arrogant person in the history of huiman creation .It is to the point that i m considering suicide as my only way out ,I thought about moving back to Nigeria from Canada but i just cant leave my kids especially my son (whom unfortunately is autistic).Sometimes i feel God created me purposely to punish me .Imagine feeling scared to go home from work ,i m working 6 days a week just to stay away from a house that i m paying for .I ve been quietly sending my money back to Nigeria just in case she files for divorce and hopefully i can rebuild my life in Nigeria when the inevitable happens .If anyone can please suggests a reliable business i can do with 50million in nigeria that would be great

funkmrflexx:
I've been married close to 4 years now with a 2 year old boy, but marriage isn't what I envisioned it to be.

Like the said, if marriage was renewable every 5 years, I wouldn't even bother. I feel like I'm losing myself to this thing called marriage, aside from the responsibilities that comes with providing, the mental and psychological stress.

I've never been this stressed in my life and I'm someone who's usually able to handle a lot of stress, I just feel like I need time alone from everything and everyone, no calls, no text. Nothing.

And my wife even makes it worse with threats of leaving the marriage over any small issue. I think the biggest mistake of my life is getting married and I know a lot go men go through this to but they can't talk.

And that's why a lot of men die young these days.

Bro don't let any woman threaten you with she leaving. Are you at her mercy? If she wan leave make she leave. Just make sure your children don't leave with her... All these nonsense woke generation.

Let her go... Settle down and take car of your kids... Cook for them and bath them, take them to school and back.. pls don't re-marry. Cos another evil spirit go come maltreat your beloved kids

Attention seeker well done, you are tired of marriage, yet your wife wants to leave you and you don't want her to leave. I thought you should gladly let her go if you ain't longer interested

Think9ja:
And if you check well, he married his so called best friend . I can't marry a girl that is not scared of me. If I'm not at least ten years older, I can't date you. I should be able to have complete control of her. Manipulate her to do my biddings.

No man should marry his best friend. Your wife should never be your friend. She should have access to you but she shouldn't be your friend for any reason
Some men sha.

I like when you said you should at least be 10 years older than her... Not necessarily because I want to control her but at least if I am getting some bad energy, let it come from fairly used ..... not over used ..... This is not to say the younger ones may not be over used but even biologically they are at an advantage over the ones that are much closer to menopause... At the end , we all get the love we think we deserve ... As for the threats he is facing, he should be a man and let her leave , from one of his previous threads, she had wanted to leave a particular day, I guess it's been months or even over a year since that day and she probably hasn't left... It is when she leaves she will understand that there is almost nothing left in the streets and the streets is not smiling.. they will gloriously add to her body counts and dump her...

Same here bro ! I fill like running from my marriage as well too! My marriage is close to 6 years now, with 2 kids boy and girl.. The most painful part is I do not have reasonable things doing , have been hustle day and night for complete 6 years ! Am I graduate but no job! No money to do business.. My wife keep threatened of living the marriage !! I alwz try my best best I love my kids, both of them are In school ..I don't want to loose them to her
! I awlz stress out
She keep given attitude
She chart wit male frndz
Evrytime she is not in d mood to HV sx
No single food stuff
Hux rent
NEPA bill
Water bill.
Hardly she talk to me.

I just need help .honestly it not easy out there

funkmrflexx:
I've been married close to 4 years now with a 2 year old boy, but marriage isn't what I envisioned it to be.

Like the said, if marriage was renewable every 5 years, I wouldn't even bother. I feel like I'm losing myself to this thing called marriage, aside from the responsibilities that comes with providing, the mental and psychological stress.

I've never been this stressed in my life and I'm someone who's usually able to handle a lot of stress, I just feel like I need time alone from everything and everyone, no calls, no text. Nothing.

And my wife even makes it worse with threats of leaving the marriage over any small issue. I think the biggest mistake of my life is getting married and I know a lot go men go through this to but they can't talk.

And that's why a lot of men die young these days.

the problem you have is that you're broke as Bleep

Duduyankee1:
Please don't marry any lady that use to have my boyfriend, many body counts. Changing you in marriage would be so easy. From my experience any married woman threatening her husband with I am leaving the marriage has started seeing another man or about to or her friend is advising her to move on

Same thing I told him. No woman says that word without something going on in the background and without backing it with action, it's just a matter of time.

MatrixReloaded:
It's everywhere but you can travel to Ghana under the guise of business trip. Let her breath, cheat if she want but send monthly stipends to her and look after ur son welfare. If she runs out of the house while u are still living with her the blame will be on you I can tell u that.
But if she runs out whilst u r away, it will only be a matter of time you will return and live freely as you wish. As for your son she ran away with never send a dime to her unless she returnd the child wholeheartedly that she cant cope, but Let her train the child till adulthood with her promiscuous lifestyle (and never accept her back afterwards)

Firstly, why do you assume this irresponsible Op will be able to care of the boy (materially and also looking after) since the kid is also the part of the reason he's crying.
Secondly, you're the one advising Op to run away from home and travel to avoid his own responsibilities and you're still the same one tagging the innocent woman "promiscuous" if she's ever tired of waiting endlessly for an irresponsible husband and decided to move on. You're as sick as the Op you're advising

funkmrflexx:
I've been married close to 4 years now with a 2 year old boy, but marriage isn't what I envisioned it to be.

Like the said, if marriage was renewable every 5 years, I wouldn't even bother. I feel like I'm losing myself to this thing called marriage, aside from the responsibilities that comes with providing, the mental and psychological stress.

I've never been this stressed in my life and I'm someone who's usually able to handle a lot of stress, I just feel like I need time alone from everything and everyone, no calls, no text. Nothing.

And my wife even makes it worse with threats of leaving the marriage over any small issue. I think the biggest mistake of my life is getting married and I know a lot go men go through this to but they can't talk.

And that's why a lot of men die young these days.

My brother, it's obvious you weren't prepared personally before entering this institution. But it's not irredeemable. All you need is self denial. Lower your ego, pray to God for help. If you are a Christian read His word especially in Ephesians chapter 5 and comply.
Marriage is the best ground to practice the tenets of Christianity - it's all about Love ( self denial)
Even if you leave your present wife and marry another, and remain unchanged yourself, you ll face the same or worse challenges.
Remember it's more blessed to give than to receive. Re strategize your home, give of yourself to your wife without expectations and watch how everything will start to change. It's a sweet environment but you will have to suffer the loss of ego to cultivate and maintain it. So humble yourself. Humility is a must here.
God is interested to help you. If only you will involve Him.

Tit4Tat1:
It's always like that.. Try something new with ur spouse, go on vacations, play and joke as often as you can.. Just try to have some fun and see the spike coming back into your marriage

marriage doesn't work like that. Different strokes for different folks.

livebullet:
Bro don't let any woman threaten you with she leaving. Are you at her mercy? If she wan leave make she leave. Just make sure your children don't leave with her... All these nonsense woke generation.

Let her go... Settle down and take car of your kids... Cook for them and bath them, take them to school and back.. pls don't re-marry. Cos another evil spirit go come maltreat your beloved kids

I believe you are not married so you are not qualified to comment here

Tit4Tat1:
You don't have to break a bank to go on a vacation..

Organize a sleepover during the weekends in one of the hotels in ur town with good facilities like swimming pool, games etc...

Lol. He's tired of the financial responsibilities, he basically said it. Economy is hard though, alaye want a way out

funkmrflexx:
Omo it's not even about financial issue, I feel it's not just worth it

Marriage not as bad as u portrayed it, don't generalize it... you just in a bad one!

ymaruf01:
Same here bro ! I fill like running from my marriage as well too! My marriage is close to 6 years now, with 2 kids boy and girl.. The most painful part is I do not have reasonable things doing , have been hustle day and night for complete 6 years ! Am I graduate but no job! No money to do business.. My wife keep threatened of living the marriage !! I alwz try my best best I love my kids, both of them are In school ..I don't want to loose them to her
! I awlz stress out
She keep given attitude
She chart wit male frndz
Evrytime she is not in d mood to HV sx
No single food stuff
Hux rent
NEPA bill
Water bill.
Hardly she talk to me.

I just need help .honestly it not easy out there

This one's wife has become bold with her own game. She has now shown her full colours. When we advise men not to rush to bring snakes into their homes, they think we are fools. Brother, enjoy your marriage and don't complain, after all you were dancing and shinning teeth on your wedding day while we the "immature" and "bitter" men were dying of "loneliness."

livebullet:
Bro don't let any woman threaten you with she leaving. Are you at her mercy? If she wan leave make she leave. Just make sure your children don't leave with her... All these nonsense woke generation.

Let her go... Settle down and take car of your kids... Cook for them and bath them, take them to school and back.. pls don't re-marry. Cos another evil spirit go come maltreat your beloved kids

His wife is not the issue, the person you're advising is the problem. Look at what he posted, the wife threatening to leave was just an added reason, not the main reason he's complaining. Besides, we don't know what he's doing in the house that made wife threaten to leave him.
Bro wasn't fully prepared for the married life, he's missing bachelorhood and he's wishing to go back to it. Lol

Only 2 years old child you want to run away, me wey get for kids with my beautiful daughter heading to university next year if i tell you the shege wey i don see before I dey where I dey now Aswear you go unpack that bag wey you wan use japa.


Marriage na cult bro, once you enter there is no going back

funkmrflexx:
I've been married close to 4 years now with a 2 year old boy, but marriage isn't what I envisioned it to be.

Like the said, if marriage was renewable every 5 years, I wouldn't even bother. I feel like I'm losing myself to this thing called marriage, aside from the responsibilities that comes with providing, the mental and psychological stress.

I've never been this stressed in my life and I'm someone who's usually able to handle a lot of stress, I just feel like I need time alone from everything and everyone, no calls, no text. Nothing.

And my wife even makes it worse with threats of leaving the marriage over any small issue. I think the biggest mistake of my life is getting married and I know a lot go men go through this to but they can't talk.

And that's why a lot of men die young these days.

Dpaulie:
Marriage not as bad as u portrayed it, don't generalize it... you just in a bad one!

He's lying. He basically mentioned the problems which are financial responsibility, lack of freedom/privacy that he was used to enjoying as a bachelor.
If he's doing the right thing in the home, why would his wife be threatening to leave him? I think he's behaving in a way to make the wife get tired and leave since that's what he secretly desire

Wickedfacts:
Let her go.
You are stressed because you are begging her.
A man should NEVER beg a woman to stay.

Pastor Jerry Eze of Nsppd held a program in TBS in Lagos, it is ladies that full there. All of them are looking for husbands.

Your name must be wisdom as you are wise.

ymaruf01:
Same here bro ! I fill like running from my marriage as well too! My marriage is close to 6 years now, with 2 kids boy and girl.. The most painful part is I do not have reasonable things doing , have been hustle day and night for complete 6 years ! Am I graduate but no job! No money to do business.. My wife keep threatened of living the marriage !! I alwz try my best best I love my kids, both of them are In school ..I don't want to loose them to her
! I awlz stress out
She keep given attitude
She chart wit male frndz
Evrytime she is not in d mood to HV sx
No single food stuff
Hux rent
NEPA bill
Water bill.
Hardly she talk to me.

I just need help .honestly it not easy out there

If you don't know how to drive, go and learn it. Talk to people (drivers) in your environment to link you with someone who can give a motor to drive, preferably intra city taxi. You will be better financially in no time. From there, you can plan your next move concerning business or something else.
As for the wife, you have to understand that when a man can't provide adequately in the house, the pressure would be on the wife too as she's the one who is always facing the needs that are not yet met.

Sonnobax15:

Omoh,the kind of news I've been reading here on Nairaland recently especially since I started thinking about putting the ring into my banny's finger are so terrorizing and alarming

Make e no come look like say I no learn from other people mistakes cha .

Op,it's well with your soul...that's all I've got to say.

Omo no be only you o. How we go do this thing pass na?

I have been loving my personal alone life lately. But most times I start thinking about bearing my own biological children.

I don't know whether I should just face the baby mama path or risk getting married. So that whatever the outcome be at the end, na to just focus on my unborn kids o.

All these marriage wahala get as it be o.

osuofia2:
Attention seeker well done, you are tired of marriage, yet your wife wants to leave you and you don't want her to leave. I thought you should gladly let her go if you ain't longer interested

Thank you. The same thing I inferred from his write-up

funkmrflexx:
I've been married close to 4 years now with a 2 year old boy, but marriage isn't what I envisioned it to be.

Like the said, if marriage was renewable every 5 years, I wouldn't even bother. I feel like I'm losing myself to this thing called marriage, aside from the responsibilities that comes with providing, the mental and psychological stress.

I've never been this stressed in my life and I'm someone who's usually able to handle a lot of stress, I just feel like I need time alone from everything and everyone, no calls, no text. Nothing.

And my wife even makes it worse with threats of leaving the marriage over any small issue. I think the biggest mistake of my life is getting married and I know a lot go men go through this to but they can't talk.

And that's why a lot of men die young these days.

Pls, point of correction, it's not the institutions (marriage) that has the problem.

From what you have explained, I think the issue is from your expectations about marriage and the person you got married to.

What you need is not to run. What you need now is KNOWLEDGE

MatrixReloaded:
It's everywhere but you can travel to Ghana under the guise of business trip. Let her breath, cheat if she want but send monthly stipends to her and look after ur son welfare. If she runs out of the house while u are still living with her the blame will be on you I can tell u that.
But if she runs out whilst u r away, it will only be a matter of time you will return and live freely as you wish. As for your son she ran away with never send a dime to her unless she returnd the child wholeheartedly that she cant cope, but Let her train the child till adulthood with her promiscuous lifestyle (and never accept her back afterwards)

Hmmm

alezzy13:
Chai. It's well o

Its calling her bluff what it is.

A mere bluff Sir. I would never appeal to anyone who wants to leave a marriage after dolling out millions onto (TM list, court brouhaha, church and reception tins)

Not to talk of dowry and introduction tins.

Go if you wan go and let your conscience judge you.

funkmrflexx:
And my wife even makes it worse with threats of leaving the marriage over any small issue.

Ain't you lucky? Many people in your situation are praying for their wives to leave, but the demons would rather stay put to torment them.

Let her go and rebuild your life.

funkmrflexx:
I've been married close to 4 years now with a 2 year old boy, but marriage isn't what I envisioned it to be.

Like the said, if marriage was renewable every 5 years, I wouldn't even bother. I feel like I'm losing myself to this thing called marriage, aside from the responsibilities that comes with providing, the mental and psychological stress.

I've never been this stressed in my life and I'm someone who's usually able to handle a lot of stress, I just feel like I need time alone from everything and everyone, no calls, no text. Nothing.

And my wife even makes it worse with threats of leaving the marriage over any small issue. I think the biggest mistake of my life is getting married and I know a lot go men go through this to but they can't talk.

And that's why a lot of men die young these days.

Does ur wife work or does she support u financially, emotionally or spiritually? or is she just a leach and liability whi doesn't even appreciate all ur efforts?

Marriage is not bad or stressful, it is who u marry that is stressful and unbearable.

Kobojunkie:
Please seek professional marriage counseling at this point so you and your wife can get on the same page on how you feel at this point in the marriage. Bring up the topic of separation during your counseling session, and if after some time you decide divorce is the best route then legally file for divorce.

It is OK to say you are tired of marriage or don't think you were cut out for it to begin with. Humans change and divorce is not a crime. What is never OK is abandoning your marriage and child. Only cowards and deadbeat dads resort to such measures. Couple that with the fact that marital abandonment is a criminal offense even under the code in Nigeria.

Kobo, is it every thread you jump on? When did you become a marriage counselor? An athiest for that matter!

funkmrflexx:
I've been married close to 4 years now with a 2 year old boy, but marriage isn't what I envisioned it to be.

Like the said, if marriage was renewable every 5 years, I wouldn't even bother. I feel like I'm losing myself to this thing called marriage, aside from the responsibilities that comes with providing, the mental and psychological stress.

I've never been this stressed in my life and I'm someone who's usually able to handle a lot of stress, I just feel like I need time alone from everything and everyone, no calls, no text. Nothing.

And my wife even makes it worse with threats of leaving the marriage over any small issue. I think the biggest mistake of my life is getting married and I know a lot go men go through this to but they can't talk.

And that's why a lot of men die young these days.

I am not concerned about your stress or other marriage wahalas my major concern is the threat of leaving the marriage by your wife and it should bother you because it says a lot about your wife and that's why you are stressed in the marriage. If you had married right it would have been jolly jolly for both of you.