₦airaland Forum

In the Nigerian system, the men do most of the heavy financial lifting in the family. But over there, the structure and system requires women to participate in the heavy financial lifting also. So along the line, these 9ja .women begin to get overwhelmed and they begin to loose interest in the man that took them there , because in the first place most of their reasons for settling down weren't from a strong conviction of love for the man, but just some that will lighten their financial burden.

So abroad system puts.. ...that financial burden back on them, then they find out that, they don't even love this man or need him after all. These men are innocent, it's just the women that mostly married for the wrong reason, no body treated them wrongly in Nigeria.

If for anything, the abroad is... helping to expose this Nigerian women and their ulterior motives.
Maybe if they start marrying for the right reason, then there will see that, geographical location has nothing to do here.

The Nigeria society is full of dull and ignorant folks who generally don't have a personal vision in life but copy other people's life. So they watch nollywood and begin to desire marriage to a prince that can take them out of the village and upgrade their family. Then they come back to the village to pepper their uncle. Haven't you seen that the movies doesn't teach the steps to genuine riches or empower with knowledge. Rather it focuses on sudden twists of fate, occults money, princely heritage and other dull things

You want to share financial responsibility but you don't want to share other responsibilities. Who does that?

Foolish men and women comparing themselves to others and, this one is a female trait, allowing others to push you into doing things they themselves wouldn't do in their marraige.

You compare your situation to others not knowing how they got there, before you know it, the immature man or woman starts losing interest in their marraige and the slow detachment and disintegration begins

Also, another female trait, you take your marital problems to every Tom, Dick and Harry. This one is to do with immaturity as well.

aswani:
Foolish men and women comparing themselves to others and, this one is a female trait, allowing others to push you into doing things they themselves wouldn't do in their marraige.

You compare your situation to others not knowing how they got there, before you know it, the immature man or woman starts losing interest in their marraige and the slow detachment and disintegration begins

Also, another female trait, you take your marital problems to every Tom, Dick and Harry. This one is to do with immaturity as well.

That’s why I advise my male friends that they need to slave for their wives in their marriages. That’s how the marriage can last. Make money just for her. Cook, clean and provide for her. Also, sometimes let her cheat in peace without you harassing her for cheating. That way she will know you truly love her and she won’t leave u

chiommy123:
You want to share financial responsibility but you don't want to share other responsibilities. Who does that?

Wait, which responsibility are women sharing in marriage? The cooking aspect?

irumole1975:
That’s why I advise my male friends that they need to slave for their wives in their marriages. That’s how the marriage can last. Make money just for her. Cook, clean and provide for her. Also, sometimes let her cheat in peace without you harassing her for cheating. That way she will know you truly love her and she won’t leave u

which kain rubbish I just read so?

elmagnifico411:
which kain rubbish I just read so?

You didn't get the sarcasm.

Ruke1989:
The Nigeria society is full of dull and ignorant folks who generally don't have a personal vision in life but copy other people's life. So they watch nollywood and begin to desire marriage to a prince that can take them out of the village and upgrade their family. Then they come back to the village to pepper their uncle. Haven't you seen that the movies doesn't teach the steps to genuine riches or empower with knowledge. Rather it focuses on sudden twists of fate, occults money, princely heritage and other dull things

I know u r paraing. And parah u shall


Loud this sh*t esp d part where they desire to get a prince to upgrade their family

chiommy123:
You want to share financial responsibility but you don't want to share other responsibilities. Who does that?

You see ehn, Shebi you self get Brothers and you go still born Boy abi? Hope you will be VERY HAPPY when other Women treat your Brothers and Son(s), the way you treat/or want to treat your Husband?

Back to the Topic, Social media and wokeness did more damages than sharing of Financial responsibilities.
Some of our mothers handled more of the Financials when our Dad's finances hit a rock and our Mothers never divorce them.

Marriage is a Covenant and not a Contract and it is suppose to be a "Till death do Us path" but wokeness has led to lack of Loyalty.

Many if not most Nigerian marriages fail abroad because women become rebellious, the society encourages and incentivizes them to.

Out of ignorance, they want to level the hierarchy of the traditional family system, and interestingly, many women think they will remarry and have a happier life when they leave their husbands, they don’t know there’s nothing out there for them.

That said, to the men, never lay hands on your wife. Be careful who you pick as your wife. She can make or mar you. Do your due diligence and get to know her family better. Don't hurry into making a mistake. I don’t think our society stresses this enough.

Raise your kids especially daughters to know the value of money and work hard for it no matter how hard. Most parents give their kids education and skills so they won’t have to sit idle or depend on handouts.

Many are stuck in their marriages because they are financially dependent on their spouse. People need orientation in terms of financial stability right from teen.

Women are deceived into old age and loneliness by their fellow women
A man can always get a younger, fresh woman, but a woman can hardly get a young guy to commit to her and men above her age are usually married or not interested in sticking with an older lady
Best advice, keep your marriage, nothing but konji dey street😆

If Nigeria's economy is robust, most Nigeria men won't be under pressure to seek refuge elsewhere...

In Nigeria the more you work the more you realize how poor you are becoming.
Dollar exchange rate has removed pants from men

irumole1975:
That’s why I advise my male friends that they need to slave for their wives in their marriages. That’s how the marriage can last. Make money just for her. Cook, clean and provide for her. Also, sometimes let her cheat in peace without you harassing her for cheating. That way she will know you truly love her and she won’t leave u

Your name is “Donald SIMPSON”. You need to read the “MISEDUCATIONS OF UBUNJA” so that you can have sense.

Because una wan carry una barbaric misogynistic behaviour go another man land.

Because badly behaved men's behaviour is excused because the man has money

Because a lot of naija men believe violence and emotional abuse is the only way to sort out conflicts

Because our mothers focused too much on raising the girls and left the boys forgetting that a well mannered girl in the hands of a mannerless guy is a disaster waiting to happen

You should understand also that some Nigerian women bring their Nigerian husbands abroad.

Alright. Aside from childbearing and companionship, marriage is of no benefits to a Man in Nigeria

More fail in Nigeria the difference is poverty. poverty will make u remain with a woman or man u have already divorced in ur heart.

I feel the submission here by the Op is one sided and almost misogynistic.
I'm a man as well, but while there is some truth to his side of the story, the ladies I'm sure will have a reasonable side to the issue as well.
Let's put into context that the western culture seems more "gyno-centric" as against what obtains in African cultures, where women are a lot more independent and so, they want to have an equal say on almost every issue.
It thus is often a basis for conflict when a couple moves overseas from Africa.
In other words, rather than saying that women should marry for love, they should look out more for men who are compatible with their ideals or who's flexible in their thinking.
.. my 2 kobo.

.

Women naturally HÀTE men
We are each other's enemies and will only try to exploit each other for our selfish benefits.


Men naturally won't want to take advantage of Women except for sexual aspect, but women will given a chance and won't think twice.

The men are not innocent. Abroad requires that the woman contribute. But many 9ja men don’t want to do house chores remember they had maids in Nigeria or the wife did all. So make the woman dey work still take care of kids, chores and cook while you chill

Some men beat their wives in Nigeria and the women got their vengeance when they relocated.

There are also 9ja women in the abroad that refuse to contribute to bills . In most cases the man has been paying her bills while dating and marriage. They are used to my money my money nonsense. The man will get frustrated and marriage scatters

It's only an unfortunate man in this era dat will take Nigerian gals abroad esp Igbo gals

Once they get there, they bring out their witchcraft...At d end they will come up with their usual slogan dat d husband is treating her bad

HOW CAN SOMEONE TREAT U BAD BUT BROUGHT U TO ABROAD....PLS I NEED SUCH BAD TREATMENT


Nigerian ladies are very vindictive and cunny...take them abroad and suffer fr it

The best thing is to leave them in Nigeria, although they will be sleeping around but it's better than being kicked out from d house u laboured to get

Marrying Nigerian ladies of these days can be very risky

ednut1:
Brb

Where u dey go?

I HV another version as to why this divorce happens frequently among our diasporans....

Nigerian women in Nigeria only marry a man's class ND never the man.. that is why u hardly see celebrity ladies marry a no name guy... They love class . Example, a banker lady can never marry a very good graduate guy who genuinely loves her but couldn't find a job and so resort to phone repair job which he rented a shop for and decorated ND earning more than bankers.... Sh would rather marry a guy who works at MTN with a 120k salary ND who wears English clothes to work but doesn't love her...

Sh want to b able to tell friends this is where her husband works.. that is why u see most ladies working with their cert never ever marry a POs guy who even mks more more than them, even if the pos guy is well educated ND genuinely love them...

Ok, back to my point.. ladies marry class.. and so when they move abroad and the classy once banker husband couldn't find a decent job ND then resort to house cleaning to fend for his family, he begins to lose the glamour ND classy lifestyle he once was known for ... He earns peanut, he goes to works not looking classy again, he can't order others anymore, he doesn't have a well a. C office ND wear good shoes again.. even if he still can fend for his family, sh will begin to lose respect for him...

He start flirting with Nigerians abraod who have passed that level ND stabilized to classy life style..

If u doubt me.. why do u think ladies fall for guyz dt lie too much.. guyz day create class that are not real.. borrow cars.. wear designer perf, always neat, wears good watch. Lie about good work place ND income.. why.. again, u hear ladies everyday tell u it's not the money they are after . Believe they are not losing, it's actually the class they seek.. aldou for men, most times , not all the time, money brings class

EmmyDJourno:
Women are deceived into old age and loneliness by their fellow women
A man can always get a younger, fresh woman, but a woman can hardly get a young guy to commit to her and men above her age are usually married or not interested in sticking with an older lady
Best advice, keep your marriage, nothing but konji dey street😆

Yet na una dey cry pass. Leave women alone. Most of them will rather be alone then being burdened by a man.

Good. Una see y so many Nigerian men no dey commit to one woman, especially when they get money b4 marriage. Nigerian women are only loyal to rich guys.once u run broke and they become rich, its voala

Why is this an issue peculiar to Nigerian marriages abroad?

lextube:
You should understand also that some Nigerian women bring their Nigerian husbands abroad.

Lolz....dats even worse....there is no winning with these women... imagine d one u brought abroad is acting tough, how much more d one dat brought u abroad