₦airaland Forum

The first contact most people made with Zimbabwe, in the media, was the late President Robert Mugabe. His political escapades and travails generated so much buzz in the media. The hyper-inflationary trends in the local economy were a point of reference by politicians across Africa. Apart from the political theatrics in the news, I learned an intriguing side of the Southern African country during the ZANU-PF events (main political party) televised on Al Jazeera. The women's wing of the party is so influential and they take the centre stage at public events. During political campaigns, they would shake their derrière stylishly and seductively as they danced to some heavy traditional beats. Those women were majorly massive in size. Their body mass was in contrast with the state of the economy of the country, though. Their backsides were so gigantic that it would seem their hips would fail in giving adequate support to the body. But nature had an inexplicable size of hips designed for them. They looked like giant mushrooms.

As a newbie in England, I came across more people from Zim (as we call them) as time progressed. Most immigrants of colour in the United Kingdom are easily cramped in the health and social care sectors due to structural reasons. The Zims seem to easily dominate several spheres of these sectors. They are mostly more experienced than Nigerians.

Being blunt, I feel Nigerian women are more beautiful and exposed than the Zim women. But when it comes to the body size, you have to give it to the Zim team. I am not trying to exaggerate, but I think their bums could stop a locally-made Rocket Propelled Grenade, RPG. It will certainly swallow up a bullet fired at a close range. They appear to me as the women desired by men who are into hard labour or some heavy-lifting.

Frankly speaking, they are friendly, humble, respectful, relaxed and welcoming. They have so much respect for Nigerian men. They admire the way we talk, carry ourselves and other mannerisms in general. They try to learn the pidgin English to enjoy Nigerian gist and jokes at work and social gatherings. They are attracted to our music too.

The Zims and Indians would share progressive information with you faster than your fellow Nigerians. Nigerians would rather share fake news links and other worthless gossip content on WhatsApp, rather than distribute visa-sponsoring job opportunities. Also, Nigerian women would mostly judge a man by the size of his pocket. Some will not laugh at a poor man’s joke to show you there is no room for loopholes. But the Zim women are different. While most of them wouldn’t give you their hearts, you are granted unlimited access to their bodies. For an immigrant who is being roasted by the chilly weather, their offer is more than enough to keep him going. Additionally, struggling Nigerian men who are yet to find their feet in the UK, easily find solace in the hands of the Zim women.

Interestingly, the majority of the Zim women are single mothers. The pattern is so widespread. Most of them have failed in the pursuit of love and given up. They are at the point where they are notoriously seeking pleasure and happiness. I know of a 35-year-old Zim nurse, a mother of two who is on a pleasure course. She is quite successful, owns her own house and a good car. When bored, she would stuff her handbag with condoms and visit the nearest pub. Any lucky man who is bold enough to make advances at her will get a full experience in her car, all for free.
A former neighbour who dated a Zim lady suddenly started losing weight detrimentally due to ‘endless shifts’ behind closed doors.

Today, the Nigerian-Zim relationship is advancing from a short-term basis to the long-term. As the Twitter influencer, Oluomo of Derby recently pointed out, Nigerian men are beginning to give the Zims permanent contracts. Due to the importance of peace and rest of mind in marriages, the Zims are becoming heavily favoured ahead of their Nigerian counterparts. Nigerian women are like activists in marriage. They act like media figures - VeryDarkMan, Deji Adeyanju and Omoyele Sowore. They are always fighting for something. Their propensity for fomenting trouble needs to be studied by clinical psychologists.

As the Zim women are moving into Nigerian homes in marriage, the Nigerian women are heading to prayer grounds like NSPPD, Shiloh and Hallelujah challenge for spiritual intervention. But the problem isn’t a spiritual one, it is more behavioural in my view.

ultim:
Nigerian women are the most beautiful in Sub-Saharan Africa (on a large scale). The real African beauty, not the half and quarter casts you see in those small countries like Gabon, Swaziland, Soutome, etc

You probably have not traveled well.

Joshkid:
Okay

AdolfHitlerxXx:
Omo....

Saw one Zimbabwean lady at Lome airport last year.

Had to just ask her nationality. Fair, super sexy and I swear she wasn't wearing any panties.

Damn!

Naija babes rank really low on the beauty scale in Africa... even West Africa.

Even we men do try. Ghanaians and Senegalese are more fit. But Nigerian men are in high demand. I dey chop well based on that

Thank you Psquare... Davido / Wizkid.... now Burna Boy et al

Greydebz:
Not related, but you write so well.. Op your write up was so intriguing, I kept enjoying each paragraph till I finished it.

Greydebz:
Not related, but you write so well.. Op your write up was so intriguing, I kept enjoying each paragraph till I finished it.

LoveJesus87:
you are here.