₦airaland Forum

The brain is a powerful thing, but if there’s one thing it does exceptionally well, it’s pattern recognition. And my brain has caught one pattern:

The moment I tell people, especially ladies, that I don’t have a girlfriend, suddenly, I’m a prime suspect in a crime I didn’t commit.

They squint. They analyze. They conclude.

"He's lying."

First, they hit me with the "You dey whine?" face. Then comes the interrogation, like DSS officers.

"You mean to tell me a full-grown man, with no physical disability, no obvious deformity, is single?" Clearly, I must be hiding something.

And just like that, they slap an invisible stamp on my forehead: “LIAR.”

But as the conversation enters the "why" department, I drop my answer like a well-aimed penalty: "I don’t see the need to have a girlfriend."

This answer does things to people. One lady even suspected I was a card-carrying member of the rainbow fraternity (you know what I mean). I had to prove to her, emphatically, might I add, that her assumption was a terrible miscalculation.

You see, since childhood, relationships have never been my priority.

I like different girls at the same time, so the idea of sticking to just one felt like voluntary imprisonment.

People told me I’d outgrow this mindset. Fast forward to today, and my belief is still standing strong like Olumo Rock. Maybe growing up has another meaning I’m yet to download.

In fact, after reading about the history of marriage, my stance has even upgraded to Version 2.0.

Whenever I meet guys who are deep in the trenches of relationships, I ask them one simple question:

"Mention one thing you gain from your relationship that you can’t get outside of it."

This question is specific for men, because I'm a man and I can't speak for women's POV.

Crickets. Silence. System malfunction. I could almost see the loading spinner on their face.

Most of them struggle like JAMB candidates in the exam hall. And after a painful loading period, they finally manage to say:

"Companionship."

LOL. Be serious. Ask them to explain further, and it’s as if you just unplugged their brain from light.

Let me give you a life hack: If you need companionship, get a dog. Dogs are loyal, obedient, and won’t stress your mental health. Unlike certain people, they won’t randomly text you "We need to talk."

But let’s be honest: when guys say companionship, what they mean is “consistent access to sex.” They just don’t want to admit it because it makes their girlfriend sound like… well, you get the point. Now it seems some girlfriend have caught up already, and they drafted the "No sex till marriage" policy.

Fun fact: Men have been getting both sex and companionship since the dawn of time without a romantic relationship or marriage. And they will continue to do so until the end of time.

If you think otherwise, I regret to inform you: skill issue.

Now, this doesn’t mean marriage is useless. In fact, marriage is very important, unless you’re getting married for love. Because love is a beautifully fabricated concept by the wedding industry.

Let’s rewind.

The first recorded history of marriage appeared in Mesopotamia (modern-day Iraq) about 5,000 years ago. It later spread to ancient Egypt, where women held 50% of the couple’s possessions and even had the right to initiate divorce.

Then came the Greeks and Romans, where marriage was known as Conubium, a contract for political alliances and maintaining social order. Whether the couple was emotionally or sexually compatible is irrelevant. The main assignment was to enter the room and "sire" a male child to inherit the family name.

What's more? The legal age of marriage back then was 12 for girls and 14 for boys.

Did you hear any mention of "romantic love" in that brief history of marriage? Nope. Because it didn’t exist in marriage until the 18th century, when Europe entered the Age of Enlightenment. That’s also when capitalism started rising. Maybe that's just a Coincidence, though.

But marketers must market; they sold us the walk 10,000 steps per day gimmick now like they sold your 'soulmate" myth then.

Think about it, a single person will buy a mattress, and be okay with life. A married couple will buy a whole king-size bed, two pillows, scented candles, matching pajamas, and a fridge full of ice cream.

That’s why, as people started realizing that the only soulmate is the hairstyling cream, divorce rates skyrocketed in the 20th century.

And yet, today, people are still getting married for love, even though they can get love without getting married.

Quite the irony, right?

If you want to be in a relationship, that’s fine. If you want to get married, enjoy yourself. But just know that love isn’t the strong foundation you think it is; it’s just another product someone sold you.

As for me? I will be on my lane. Making no noise, and pretending I don't exist.

I know this.

Only few people are brave enough to admit it.

Your diction is flawless

WhiteBalaclava:
Your diction is flawless

so?

Good. But how do you get sex?

I wrote something about this 2 years ago.
You see, man and women are too different to live together long term.
And love is an illusion, not necessarily a scam.
It is something that you thought was there, but it is not what we thought it was.
Love is a chemical reaction that wears off with time.
Love is a feeling, no human relationship can sustain on feelings.
The same way people recover from sickness is the same way people recover from feelings.

A contract marriage will by far last longer than a marriage based on the so called "Love marriage".

I've not been in a relationship for a very very very long time. And the reason is because, since I went celibate, I have no reason for a woman in my life. I am emotionally independent, I don't need companionship.
There are too many books in this world to read, when I'm done reading all of them, which i cant. I'll need a companionship then.

haybhi1:
Good. But how do you get sex?

I'm sorry but I really don't understand your question.
It's like asking how do you get food?
Sex is easier to get than companionship.
It is very easy to get sex than to even get a girlfriend.
Just have a place to have sex, though you may not get the 7-10 girls but you'll definitely get the 4,5,6 girls.
I read a particular book one time like that that changed my perspective about the female personality.
Do you even know that girls want sex more than boys. If a woman liked you so much, the first thing she'll give to you is sex.
When some men are struggling to get sex, some men are running from it.

And by the way, sex is overrated. There is no big deal. There is no award for a man who has the highest sex partners, focus on other important things.

God bless you brother

WhiteBalaclava:
Your diction is flawless

Na diction matter meet you?

haybhi1:
Good. But how do you get sex?

Skill issue.

FRANCISTOWN:
I'm sorry but I really don't understand your question.
It's like asking how do you get food?
Sex is easier to get than companionship.
It is very easy to get sex than to even get a girlfriend.
Just have a place to have sex, though you may not get the 7-10 girls but you'll definitely get the 4,5,6 girls.
I read a particular book one time like that that changed my perspective about the female personality.
Do you even know that girls want sex more than boys. If a woman liked you so much, the first thing she'll give to you is sex.
When some men are struggling to get sex, some men are running from it.

And by the way, sex is overrated. There is no big deal. There is no award for a man who has the highest sex partners, focus on other important things.

You have time to reply to him.

OP talks like someone who thinks like an incel, despite claiming to easily get sex with women. Those friends you asked why they got married if they could get the benefits of marriage without it—and who responded with silence—are just as confused as you are. It’s like the saying, “Show me your friends, and I’ll tell you who you are.”

Sometimes, you sound like someone who has faced repeated rejection and heartbreaks and, as a result, leans toward being anti-relationship and anti-marriage.

For your information, men get married for various reasons, and your perspective seems rather limited. Some intelligent men marry to build a family, take on responsibility, earn respect, find happiness, and feel fulfilled. In addition, many men choose marriage for the love and companionship it offers (as you have mentioned a million times here), the emotional security and support, the shared goals and dreams, the financial and legal benefits, life stage transition and even to honor cultural or familial traditions etc. I can go on and on!

I couldn’t care less if you stay single or even end up an incel for life—honestly, no one actually care. You say you read books, but I have no idea what kind you’re reading. Are they just reinforcing your narrow beliefs? Maybe it’s time to expand your perspective.


Although I couldn't finish reading your lengthy post, your final sentence suggested that you prefer to stay in your lane—yet it seems you’re not doing that. You appear to me to be searching for answers and are confused, which is why you woke up one morning and wrote this long epistle.

Just find something that makes you happy. It's your life and for real...this time...stay in your lane.

melanch:
OP talks like someone who thinks like an incel, despite claiming to easily get sex with women. Those friends you asked why they got married if they could get the benefits of marriage without it—and who responded with silence—are just as confused as you are. It’s like the saying, “Show me your friends, and I’ll tell you who you are.”

Sometimes, you sound like someone who has faced repeated rejection and heartbreaks and, as a result, leans toward being anti-relationship and anti-marriage.

For your information, men get married for various reasons, and your perspective seems rather limited. Some intelligent men marry to build a family, take on responsibility, earn respect, find happiness, and feel fulfilled. In addition, many men choose marriage for the love and companionship it offers (as you have mentioned a million times here), the emotional security and support, the shared goals and dreams, the financial and legal benefits, life stage transition and even to honor cultural or familial traditions etc. I can go on and on!

I couldn’t care less if you stay single or even end up an incel for life—honestly, no one actually care. You say you read books, but I have no idea what kind you’re reading. Are they just reinforcing your narrow beliefs? Maybe it’s time to expand your perspective.


Although I couldn't finish reading your lengthy post, your final sentence suggested that you prefer to stay in your lane—yet it seems you’re not doing that. You appear to me to be searching for answers and are confused, which is why you woke up one morning and wrote this long epistle.

Just find something that makes you happy. It's your life and for real...this time...stay in your lane.

Financial and legal benefits?

I stopped reading your gibberish at that point.

Jacktheripper:
Financial and legal benefits?

I stopped reading your gibberish at that point.

If you’ve truly read as much as you claim, you should already understand concepts like tax breaks (especially in abroad) and health insurance savings etc (for married couples). In fact, many smart men see financial growth after marriage - they work harder, knowing they have a family to support, build stronger connections, and secure a better future for their kids.

I’m sorry, but I won’t have time to respond further. Apologies, but this conversation feels like explaining basics to an adult who lacks real-world experience.

haybhi1:
Good. But how do you get sex?

seems you have lost all hope of ever making use of your brain before you die.

melanch:
If you’ve truly read as much as you claim, you should already understand concepts like tax breaks (especially in abroad) and health insurance savings etc (for married couples). In fact, many smart men see financial growth after marriage - they work harder, knowing they have a family to support, build stronger connections, and secure a better future for their kids.

I’m sorry, but I won’t have time to respond further. Apologies, but this conversation feels like explaining basics to an adult who lacks real-world experience.

I'm not sure your brain can interpret this chart, so you can use AI.

AllBlack:
seems you have lost all hope of ever making use of your brain before you die.

Lol, but why are you crying so heavily? You seem pained.

Sorry.

I agree completely with your opinion. Real men don't need women to feel good and complete. You sure can write, man. I like it when men showcase literary prowess. Good job brother man.