₦airaland Forum

TechBaron:
I recently had an episode with one.

Single mum of one. Her marriage lasted less than 6 months and the ex husband blocked her everywhere and has even abandoned their 5 year old kid.

She tried enticing me with gifts and some dramaric nollywood style of love.. But deep inside, I knew there was something wrong with the lady, I sha wanted to see what made baba to run within a span of 6 months, and even abandoned his kid

Everything was going well, till she started showing me her true character.

Omoh. I need not go into details...

See ehn.. Run from anything single mother. Even the one that you made, just run.

I repeat, RUN..

A divorcee is not a single mother. A single mother is one who got pregnant out of wedlock.

Yes you choose whom to like or hate.

I am a single mother but I tell you I never wished for it. I really wanted my marriage to work but I alone can't achieve that.

When it happened I was shattered all that matter was my child. This happened for years but now I am healed.I am deliberate about my self. The way I look now you'll think I really wanted to be one but on the contrary it's never my wish.

LagosOrigin:
Build your home while married because being a single mom isn't no child play

Divorcees and widows aren't single mothers. A single mother is one who got pregnant out of wedlock.

atoliman:
i have seen two mature ladies who were single mum get remarried and now living with their husbands for almost 15 years. No one is perfect and people get divorced. A lot of men tend to bash single mum and sometimes some single mum dey fxxk up by sleeping around with multiple men

Single mothers I know that remarried are still cheating... only pathetic men with no option marries single mothers!

atoliman:
i have seen two mature ladies who were single mum get remarried and now living with their husbands for almost 15 years. No one is perfect and people get divorced. A lot of men tend to bash single mum and sometimes some single mum dey fxxk up by sleeping around with multiple men

And do u know what is going on in those marriages

TechBaron:
I recently had an episode with one.

Single mum of one. Her marriage lasted less than 6 months and the ex husband blocked her everywhere and has even abandoned their 5 year old kid.

She tried enticing me with gifts and some dramaric nollywood style of love.. But deep inside, I knew there was something wrong with the lady, I sha wanted to see what made baba to run within a span of 6 months, and even abandoned his kid

Everything was going well, till she started showing me her true character.

Omoh. I need not go into details...

See ehn.. Run from anything single mother. Even the one that you made, just run.

I repeat, RUN..

Exactly bro. They will hide the truth and start painting the father of their child/children in bad light to be received. They are dangerous. They will ruin u Check well, most likely a product of broken home too. RUN o.

atoliman:
Being a single mum is not a death sentence or sentence to remain single for forever. Off course a single mum priority is going to be her children, what do one expect when you are dating one? To cook rice for you and buy you beer while her children are hungry. if you have sex with one, expect billings- It is what comes with the terrority. if you do not want date one, leave them alone. Let them find someone who wants to date them

Good luck sir,on your new journey

Kobojunkie:
Are you certain you are OK upstairs? 😏😏

Yes, but you are not?

Kingosytex:
A divorcee is not a single mother. A single mother is one who got pregnant out of wedlock.

Okay sir.

Kingosytex:
A divorcee is not a single mother. A single mother is one who got pregnant out of wedlock.

According to which dictionary?

Kobojunkie:
Nonsense! 🙄🙄🙄🙄

The person you described is not a single mother but a divorced of which there are so many out there too. Second, if her ex-husband, father of her child, blocked her, what you are insinuating is that she is not getting support from him as far as his own child is concerned, meaning he is some sort of deadbeat dad. 🙄🙄🙄🙄

2. Silly retort! You mean like your other girlfriends, whom you are no longer with, before that point in time, and maybe afterwards? Most of you are too dramatically deluded for your own good. 🙄🙄🙄🙄

You know, it's impressive how confidently you speak for someone who’s almost always wrong. Try listening, asking, or—God forbid—thinking before you talk. Not every random thought needs to be broadcasted, especially when it's wrapped in ignorance."

lawrenzooo:
➜Yes she was abandoned by her husband for reasons we're are not sure about(That's why i said she might be a single mother because she has bad character emphasis on "might". The writer of the comment I quoted said when she started showing him her true color he had to run and he concluded by saying run from everything single mother. I'm of the submission that it's not being a single mother that makes a person bad(someone with bad character). A bad person is a bad person regardless of whether you're are a single mother or not and vice versa. So I didn't insinuate that the woman was a bad person or had bad character.

I understand what you are insinuating, just that the writer insinuated that the reason the woman's husband abandoned her had to do with this bad character he came to see in her at the same implying that the child's father also abandoned the child for this reason.

Floramie:
➜Yes you choose whom to like or hate. I am a single mother but I tell you I never wished for it. I really wanted my marriage to work but I alone can't achieve that. When it happened I was shattered all that matter was my child. This happened for years but now I am healed.I am deliberate about my self. The way I look now you'll think I really wanted to be one but on the contrary it's never my wish.

Not to be insensitive, but why is the father of the child not involved in the raising of his child? Is he a deadbeat dad? Or you never thought to file a case in the courts to mandate his involvement in the raising of the child?

lawrenzooo:
➜Regardless of whether she's a single mother or not, most lady wants a man who can provide.

Which is an acceptable standard in a place like Nigeria, where the traditional norm is for the man to be a provider while the woman lives as his dependent, serving his whims.

Kobojunkie:
Not to be insensitive, but why is the father of the child not involved in the raising of his child? Is he a deadbeat dad? Or you never thought to file a case in the courts to mandate his involvement in the raising of the child?

DNA test

sparko1:
➜Except she wants a father that can provide for two.

Why not? The provider provides for those in the family... that is the traditional system of relationship in Nigeria.

Look, these things are really simple to reason. if you cannot submit to the traditional system of relationships, then avoid it and any situation that will not work for you. Shikena!

Firebox123:
DNA test

In your situation, DNA tests kept you from being able to involve the supposed father of your children in their upbringing? How? Did you have a virgin birth or something?

Kobojunkie:
In your situation, DNA tests kept you from being able to involve the supposed father of your children in their upbringing? How? Did you have a virgin birth or something?

let her find for the real father of the child brr

Can you take care of a bastard

MobilityMFR:
➜One should ask, why is she single in the first place. Most women think the man is unimportant until he walks out of the marriage.
➜ I know a friend whose wife (with three male children) sent him packing because she was the one that paid the house rent that year.
➜ Guy man left, now .... regrets everywhere, but guy man has moved on. He sees his children often, but got nothing for the auntie. He's at present filing for divorce.
➜ Word of advice for married women, it's not always green on the other side, there's no issue that married couples can't resolve if there's love in that marriage...my opinion!

Nonsense question! They are single for the exact same reason that you are single. Sometimes relationships don't work out. That it does not work out with you and the last x number of mates does not mean you are necessarily a terrible person.

2. Your friend was a deadbeat dad mooching off his wife for at least a whole year. She is traditionally right to kick him out, given that he was not meeting up with his provider mandate by tradition.

3. He was not a good husband for her does not mean she should sit back tied to him. That your relationship with X that year turned out not to be a good match does not mean X would not find happiness for herself elsewhere, or that you would not find happiness for yourself elsewhere. It simply means you and X were not a good match then and probably never will be. So, divorce is not at all a bad thing.

4. Rubbish! It took her kicking him out for him to get his act together, implying the marriage was never going to work out for both of them, so no need to force it. Nobody deserves to be taken advantage of in a relationship. They are better off going their separate ways; your friend needs to find that woman that he will not need to sit and mooch off of while he continues to support and raise his kids with his ex. Simple!

Firebox123:
➜let her find for the real father of the child brr. Can you take care of a bastard

Well, it is for this reason that I say people who reason as you do need to completely avoid single mothers; your responsibility to do so for your good. It is kind of like how racist/tribalistic individuals know to avoid entirely dating people of other races.

Kobojunkie:
Well, it is for this reason why I say people who reason as you do need to completely avoid single mothers; your responsibility to do so for your own good.

if you say so

Firebox123:
if you say so

This should really be commonsense!

Kobojunkie:
This should really be commonsense!

you're not making any sense here brr

Firebox123:
you're not making any sense here brr

It is expected!

sparko1:
➜ ...Finally, my main contention is love or the joy of being loved by someone, for a single mom, she comes with the hatred and bitterness of her previous relationships coupled with the fact that she's now a mom, she's completely not interested in a man to love, she's interested in a provider only, it's like waking up in a 10 years marriage with children and school fees and everything about the family already on her mind, loving her husband is just a product of how well he behaves at this point, this is the undiluted truth, don't be deceived, a woman can only love one man or one person at a time, if she has a child, you will always be secondary, which of course is not a problem of some men but definitely a problem for most.

1. I skipped over all of the parts of your post that I feel I have adequately responded to so far. Stay away from that which you are not mature enough to handle is simple advice that applies in all works of life.

Pretty much everyone out there, including you, enters into each relationship carrying unresolved baggage from their previous relationships or experiences. So, again, learn to stay away from that which you are not mature enough to handle is simple advice that applies in all works of life so you don't end up winning about how immature you are to others.

Kobojunkie:
Why not? The provider provides for those in the family... that is the traditional system of relationship in Nigeria.

Look, these things are really simple to reason. if you cannot submit to the traditional system of relationships, then avoid it and any situation that will not work for you. Shikena!

Except he hasn't started a family, he hasn't even decided if he will marry her, how do you start fending for a family when you haven't decided to have one yet.

sparko1:
➜Except he hasn't started a family, he hasn't even decided if he will marry her, how do you start fending for a family when you haven't decided to have one yet.

Your traditional system has the man providing even while courting, though. He is already paying bills, buying her fancy things, etc., all during the courting phase; that is supposed to be how he lures the woman into marriage. I mean it isn't that his charm or character is counted for much in this, since the ultimate goal is to lure the woman into submitting to him in marriage as long as he continues to provide for her and the family formed. If you don't want that, then stay the f-ck away from women who subscribe to that system and those who have children altogether. I mean, this isn't rocket science at all.

I know people who have no intentions of ever getting married, but they date. They do it intentionally by engaging only with other people who equally have no plans of settling down or having kids. There are atheists out there who avoid religious people of any kind of relationship to keep their peace of mind. Do those relationships sometimes fail like every other kind out there? Of course! But that is no reason why not to be intentional about the type of relationships you choose(also the choices you make afterwards). Relationships are meant to be entered into intentionally, with you knowing and accepting all of what they entail, not pretending you were somehow victimized by the reality of things in the particular relationship you chose.

TechBaron:
I recently had an episode with one.

Single mum of one. Her marriage lasted less than 6 months and the ex husband blocked her everywhere and has even abandoned their 5 year old kid.

She tried enticing me with gifts and some dramaric nollywood style of love.. But deep inside, I knew there was something wrong with the lady, I sha wanted to see what made baba to run within a span of 6 months, and even abandoned his kid

Everything was going well, till she started showing me her true character.

Omoh. I need not go into details...

See ehn.. Run from anything single mother. Even the one that you made, just run.

I repeat, RUN..

.
Give me gist Abegg.. wetin you discover las las wey make you run ..?

Exceed15:
And do u know what is going on in those marriages

They look very happy

atoliman:
They look very happy

.u have said well "they LOOK very happy '...