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I Find It Difficult To Get People To Do Things For Me - Romance - Nairaland

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I Find It Difficult To Get People To Do Things For Me by Tekashi89(op): 6:02pm On May 19, 2025
Hey guys I'm a young guy of 25 and I recently noticed a problem about me, people tend to not listen to me or obey my instructions or listen to my topic of discussion.
Note: I always listen to theirs and I always do what they say I.e as per friendship or relationship.


So it goes like this whenever I'm with a friend male or female and we're discussing and I bring up a topic they tend to act uninterested either by rolling up their eyes or bringing another topic to cover it. They'll always want to be the one initiating topics.

And also whenever they have an event and they invite me over I attend but if I invite them they'll make up one or two excuses.

Also if I have problems and I discuss it with any of them they'll just allow me talk with nothing meaningful as advise and they'll bring up other topics to cover it as if what I'm saying is not important.

I even recently broke up with my girlfriend because she'll like to do things on her own terms not when I want but will want me to do things when she wants. If I talk to her she doesn't listen but will expect me to listen likewise my male friends.

So I had to like distant myself from everybody now and I'm mostly alone whenever I'm not at work.

Note: people do things for me not because I ask or persist or insist but because it came from their mind. But I want people to do things for me because I asked them to

So guys any advise on how I can work on it cause I can see the problem is not from them it's from me
Re: I Find It Difficult To Get People To Do Things For Me by Mariangeles(f):
Maybe you should stop being too expectant of/dependent on people, and stop being too available to them also.
It'll give you peace of mind.

You probably give too much of yourself, that is why you expect much.

What you don't go after desperately, tends to come to you with ease.
Just free your mind.
Re: I Find It Difficult To Get People To Do Things For Me by Onyiiobi7735(m): 7:01pm On May 19, 2025
That's humans for you.
This is exactly why White people prefer the companionship of dogs to fellow humans.
Dogs will never betray and are proverbial for their faithfulness and devotion to owners.
Brother, just stop being too available to people as someone above mentioned.
Learn to keep your distance and form that habit of independence.
It would save you a truckload of heartache and pain.
Never give off to anyone that vibe that you can't do without them or they are essential for your well-being.
They will seize the chance to take you for granted and disrespect you.
Good luck.
Re: I Find It Difficult To Get People To Do Things For Me by Proserpina: 7:51pm On May 19, 2025
You need to learn the power of scarcity. When you are TOO available and agreeable people will take you for granted and dismiss your opinion.

We are currently in a very noisy world that you either have to be overly loud or powerfully silent to be heard ( I do not mean this literally don't go shouting everywhere) .

Learn to set boundaries not selfishly but graciously.
Re: I Find It Difficult To Get People To Do Things For Me by Ibkay32(m): 7:52pm On May 19, 2025
I discovered this hard truth during my time in the higher institution. Whenever I had foodstuff and money, both friends and foes would suddenly come around, seeking help and companionship. But the moment I hit rock bottom and needed support, no one showed up — not even those I had once helped. That experience changed me deeply. It made me withdraw into myself and adopt a more introverted lifestyle.

I’ve since learned to rely less on people and more on my own strength and resilience. One thing life has taught me is this: always have it at the back of your mind that you don’t truly have anyone but God. People are seasonal, but God remains constant.
Re: I Find It Difficult To Get People To Do Things For Me by EmperorIsaac(m): 8:27pm On May 19, 2025
Do you drink alcohol? If no, it's possible you have been in the wrong company all along.
Re: I Find It Difficult To Get People To Do Things For Me by Tekashi89(op): 4:35am On May 20, 2025
I understand bro thanks for the opinion they'd want to dominate me all the time they'll always want to be the one in charge
Proserpina:
You need to learn the power of scarcity. When you are TOO available and agreeable people will take you for granted and dismiss your opinion.

We are currently in a very noisy world that you either have to be overly loud or powerfully silent to be heard ( I do not mean this literally don't go shouting everywhere) .

Learn to set boundaries not selfishly but graciously.
Re: I Find It Difficult To Get People To Do Things For Me by Tekashi89(op): 4:37am On May 20, 2025
No I don't drink and I don't smoke I think so too maybe I've always been with the wrong people
EmperorIsaac:
Do you drink alcohol? If no, it's possible you have been in the wrong company all along.
Re: I Find It Difficult To Get People To Do Things For Me by Holluwhakemmy(f): 5:55am On May 20, 2025
Nobody respect a rag until their shoes dirty so stay in your corner.
Don't beg people to know your values, when the time comes nobody will tell them to look for you.
Re: I Find It Difficult To Get People To Do Things For Me by Negroid001(m): 6:27am On May 20, 2025
Holluwhakemmy:
Nobody respect a rag until their shoes dirty so stay in your corner.
Don't beg people to know your values, when the time comes nobody will tell them to look for you.
Deep
Re: I Find It Difficult To Get People To Do Things For Me by WifeBeater: 12:33pm On May 20, 2025
I'm guessing it's because you don't have a strong presence. People can sense an aura of weakness about you - it's in everything you do.
They feel they don't have any reason to listen to you. They aren't compelled by you.

Start by having strong principles you stand by. I'm guessing you're the kind of person who usually doesn't do what he says he'd do.

In any case, you have to be a man of action. You have to take action. Stop waiting for people to agree with you before you take action. You have to selfishly and aggressively start going for what you want and you'll see they'll start paying attention to you.

Remember, a man is known by the responsibilities he handles. The more you handle responsibility, the more they respect you.
Re: I Find It Difficult To Get People To Do Things For Me by columbus007(m): 12:36pm On May 20, 2025
Op sha, oga do you have money? 💵
Re: I Find It Difficult To Get People To Do Things For Me by Tekashi89(op): 1:31pm On May 20, 2025
I'm kinda skinny I weigh about 60kg 180cm tall so does that show any sign of weakness
WifeBeater:
I'm guessing it's because you don't have a strong presence. People can sense an aura of weakness about you - it's in everything you do.
They feel they don't have any reason to listen to you. They aren't compelled by you.

Start by having strong principles you stand by. I'm guessing you're the kind of person who usually doesn't do what he says he'd do.

In any case, you have to be a man of action. You have to take action. Stop waiting for people to agree with you before you take action. You have to selfishly and aggressively start going for what you want and you'll see they'll start paying attention to you.

Remember, a man is known by the responsibilities he handles. The more you handle responsibility, the more they respect you.
Re: I Find It Difficult To Get People To Do Things For Me by Tekashi89(op): 1:33pm On May 20, 2025
This is not about money issue
columbus007:
Op sha, oga do you have money? 💵
Re: I Find It Difficult To Get People To Do Things For Me by Proserpina: 4:52pm On May 20, 2025
Tekashi89:
I understand bro thanks for the opinion they'd want to dominate me all the time they'll always want to be the one in charge
I'm not a bro. angry
Re: I Find It Difficult To Get People To Do Things For Me by Tekashi89(op): 5:02pm On May 20, 2025
Okay thanks sis
Proserpina:
I'm not a bro. angry
Re: I Find It Difficult To Get People To Do Things For Me by Proserpina: 5:04pm On May 20, 2025
Tekashi89:
Okay thanks sis
You are welcome grin
Re: I Find It Difficult To Get People To Do Things For Me by Kobojunkie: 5:29pm On May 20, 2025
Tekashi89:
➜Hey guys I'm a young guy of 25 and I recently noticed a problem about me, people tend to not listen to me or obey my instructions or listen to my topic of discussion. Note: I always listen to theirs and I always do what they say I.e as per friendship or relationship.
➜So it goes like this whenever I'm with a friend male or female and we're discussing and I bring up a topic they tend to act uninterested either by rolling up their eyes or bringing another topic to cover it. They'll always want to be the one initiating topics. And also whenever they have an event and they invite me over I attend but if I invite them they'll make up one or two excuses.
➜ Also if I have problems and I discuss it with any of them they'll just allow me talk with nothing meaningful as advise and they'll bring up other topics to cover it as if what I'm saying is not important.
I even recently broke up with my girlfriend because she'll like to do things on her own terms not when I want but will want me to do things when she wants. If I talk to her she doesn't listen but will expect me to listen likewise my male friends.
➜ So I had to like distant myself from everybody now and I'm mostly alone whenever I'm not at work.
Note: people do things for me not because I ask or persist or insist but because it came from their mind. But I want people to do things for me because I asked them to So guys any advise on how I can work on it cause I can see the problem is not from them it's from me
1. WOW.... you wish for people to submit to you because you submit to them? Are you sure you are OK? 😏😏😏

2. You are with people whose interests do not align with yours. Stop trying to force yourself on others. undecided

3. You can't force people who are uninterested in you to become interested just because you want it so. undecided

4. Date someone who likes you and has something in common with you, not someone who is clearly not interested in what you are interested in. undecided

5. Stop hanging with the wrong crowd! Wait for and patiently select people who are interested in you just as much as you are interested in them, and the things you like, and they also like. Also, it is OK to be alone for as long as it takes you to find those who are more compatible with you. undecided
Re: I Find It Difficult To Get People To Do Things For Me by WifeBeater: 5:38pm On May 20, 2025
.
Re: I Find It Difficult To Get People To Do Things For Me by WifeBeater: 5:39pm On May 20, 2025
Tekashi89:
I'm kinda skinny I weigh about 60kg 180cm tall so does that show any sign of weakness
60kg is quite small for a 25 year old man.
But that can change. It's very possible to you to weigh close to 80kg by the end the year.

Nevertheless, weakness, in this sense, is a factor of the strength of your character and decisiveness and not physicality.
Re: I Find It Difficult To Get People To Do Things For Me by Kobojunkie: 5:44pm On May 20, 2025
WifeBeater:
➜60kg is quite small for a 25 year old man. But that can change. It's very possible to you to weigh close to 80kg by the end the year. Nevertheless, weakness, in this sense, is a factor of the strength of your character and decisiveness and not physicality.
There is nothing wrong with him weighing 60Kg which is more than many men can boast of. Go check all those Korean actors wey women dey like to google and many of those models on the fashion runway. Make una no dey make people feel like say something wrong with them. undecided
Re: I Find It Difficult To Get People To Do Things For Me by Kobojunkie: 5:46pm On May 20, 2025
Tekashi89:
I'm kinda skinny I weigh about 60kg 180cm tall so does that show any sign of weakness
nothing wrong with being skinny. undecided
Re: I Find It Difficult To Get People To Do Things For Me by WifeBeater: 10:02pm On May 20, 2025
Kobojunkie:
There is nothing wrong with him weighing 60Kg which is more than many men can boast of. Go check all those Korean actors wey women dey like to google and many of those models on the fashion runway. Make una no dey make people feel like say something wrong with them. undecided
What are you even talking about? Did I say anything was wrong with weighing 60kg? I'm just stating a simple fact that 60kg is quite small for the average 25 year old Nigerian man. Normal for women of that age. My younger sister (22) is around 70 something kg and she's not fat at all. Normal size. When I was 20 I was 65kg and I was SKINNY! Dry bone! And you're here talking about what you don't know.

Nobody is trying to make him feel inferior. If we ask the young man, he'll probably tell you he's self conscious about his size and wants to be bigger.
Re: I Find It Difficult To Get People To Do Things For Me by Kobojunkie: 10:09pm On May 20, 2025
WifeBeater:
What are you even talking about? Did I say anything was wrong with weighing 60kg? I'm just stating a simple fact that 60kg is quite small for the average 25 year old Nigerian man.
➜ Normal for women of that age. My younger sister (22) is around 70 something kg and she's not fat at all. Normal size.
➜ When I was 20 I was 65kg and I was SKINNY! Dry bone! And you're here talking about what you don't know. Nobody is trying to make him feel inferior. If we ask the young man, he'll probably tell you he's self conscious about his size and wants to be bigger.
1. Yes, you di,d since the following are your very own words.
WifeBeater:
60kg is quite small for a 25-year-old man.
2. There is no normal because everybody's circumstances, body, metabolism, build, eating habits, etc., are all different. There are averages, but those are not standards that people should strive for since, again, everyone is different in the end. undecided

3. OP is not you, and you are not OP. undecided
Re: I Find It Difficult To Get People To Do Things For Me by Double0h7(f): 10:22pm On May 20, 2025

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F5jhc1Y65Lg?si=b-qcbAk6-nnBhW9D

Watch this video to understand why you attract such people.
Re: I Find It Difficult To Get People To Do Things For Me by edunaragold(f): 3:58pm On May 21, 2025
Tekashi89:
Hey guys I'm a young guy of 25 and I recently noticed a problem about me, people tend to not listen to me or obey my instructions or listen to my topic of discussion.
Note: I always listen to theirs and I always do what they say I.e as per friendship or relationship.


So it goes like this whenever I'm with a friend male or female and we're discussing and I bring up a topic they tend to act uninterested either by rolling up their eyes or bringing another topic to cover it. They'll always want to be the one initiating topics.

And also whenever they have an event and they invite me over I attend but if I invite them they'll make up one or two excuses.

Also if I have problems and I discuss it with any of them they'll just allow me talk with nothing meaningful as advise and they'll bring up other topics to cover it as if what I'm saying is not important.

I even recently broke up with my girlfriend because she'll like to do things on her own terms not when I want but will want me to do things when she wants. If I talk to her she doesn't listen but will expect me to listen likewise my male friends.

So I had to like distant myself from everybody now and I'm mostly alone whenever I'm not at work.

Note: people do things for me not because I ask or persist or insist but because it came from their mind. But I want people to do things for me because I asked them to

So guys any advise on how I can work on it cause I can see the problem is not from them it's from me
You know what they say , that if u want something nice to be done for u, gat to do it your self
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