₦airaland Forum

Myrepublic:
So training a lady in school is not important to her? Many have trained ladies,who later ask that question, after they met a richer guy..

endsarrrs:
Men are the biggest mistakes to women

lavylilly:
This message reflects a deep sense of cynicism, pain, and frustration—likely shaped by real experiences—but it also contains several harmful generalizations that deserve to be challenged for a more balanced and constructive perspective.

Theama:
Is this your writing?

Talismann:
no woman, I repeat no woman will ever love you unconditionally. It has never and will never work that way. Even your own biological mother will dance to the tune of that child who provides the more for her. Don't allow anyone deceive you. As a man, it's better you live with that truth or die in self denial. Even God will despise you if you can't solve issues in his house or useful to him.

Now that being said, there a few real, trustworthy ladies.but the paragraph above is still engrained in their DNA regardless.

As a man what to do. You need to make money, you need to keep working hard. A man paying his bills earns serious respect from everyone.

Once you can't pay the bills, even your dog will whine and grind it's teeth at you when you can't buy it's food.

Avoid gold diggers btw, you should get a woman who is purposeful and going in the same direction with you obviously. But live with the fact that the moment you can't provide anymore, things will likely go wrong.

One love

Anabosee:
Giving her 10 missed call back then when I was jobless and simping. Now I have a good job I don't even have time to call family not to talk of one girl...... now them say I am not romantic....I nor send

JustcallmeFavou:
I have read most of the replies here, and all I can say is that; most men here are broken, and haven't healed from whatever pain, or trauma a lady they once dated caused them in the past.

Inasmuch as, I would say women shouldn't generalized all men as being scums, I would also say that single men should not generalize all women as being the same.

We meet different people with different personalities and whatsoever else they are silently fighting that they often times don't talk about or heal from.

Hence, its paramount that each gender gets to treat each other based on the present, not based on how another person has once treated them in past relationships.

This way, one doesn't loose or miss out on someone who could have been their soulmate, or a destined partner.

It's true that some men are demons, and that some women will help you see shege and won't care. But if one keeps treating every lady or guy that comes along based on past experiences or hurt, then the rate of divorce in the next 5/10 years will be way higher than now with no love, loyalty, commitment, or true friendship.

goran3310:
I invested too much, everything.
Too much. Too much emotion, love, effort, money.
Nothing came back to me.

That's also why divorce is harder on men. Much harder than on women. You invest everything, get nothing, and lose everything.

donogaga:
Men, what are your biggest mistakes with women?
Share them so that other men can learn and not repeat them.👇👇👇

ClassicEvilSpir:
I thought I was impressing her by giving her things, meanwhile there were bigger simps giving her more. Nowadays, I invest less, but receive more. Women do not respond to logic most times.

Ruke1991:
Buying expensive things for any woman or throwing cash at them is the biggest mistake any man can make in this life or in the life after. Allow women to struggle and pay their personal bills alone, so that the stress can help them break the follow-come coconut in their brain. Until that coconut is broken, women cannot know the dignity of labour and their brain can never be useful

Zocalite:
Which of the god are you referring?

As a Christian, such statement is not true about Jesus Christ

Please state the god you know or meant when making wide fallacy

Greydebz:
This sounds very toxic 🤨

lavylilly:
This statement actually carries some hard-earned wisdom—particularly about how relationships are tested during adversity and the importance of loyalty and consistency. But it also contains a subtle misprioritization of human connection by sidelining love, and presents advice that, while seemingly grounded, can become overly transactional or emotionally guarded if taken to the extremeYou're absolutely right that adversity reveals character, and when someone shows you disloyalty, you should believe them the first time. Betrayal isn’t something to excuse, and self-respect means not staying in situations where trust has been broken. >Unfortunately, love has become transactional in the world we live in today, a tit for tat!!

But let’s challenge one key idea here:

“Love is not the most important thing because it’s an emotion that comes and goes.”

That’s a half-truth. > Love is a VERB!! Someone can claim to love you and still betray you and find it justifiable to themselves.

Yes, feelings fluctuate. Passion ebbs and flows. But real love isn’t just an emotion—it’s a commitment, a decision, a practice. You can’t build loyalty, friendship, reliability, or consistency without love as the glue. When love is reduced to "just a feeling," you lose sight of its discipline. > I agree, however humans attach love mostly to emotions/ feelings hence the ebbs and flow. You can be angry with your partner does not equal you loving them any less.

And here's the nuance:
Loyalty and consistency are built on love, not separate from it. If someone is loyal but doesn’t care about your emotional well-being… that’s a business partner, not a life partner. > I disagree, love does not equate loyalty and consistency because again we are humans and emotions drive a lot of our decision whether right or wrong. Love/ Trust can be a by product of Loyalty & Consistency.

Also, love inspires growth, forgiveness, and connection. It's not something to undervalue just because it’s vulnerable. The healthiest relationships are built on both love and loyalty—not one replacing the other. >Correct, Ideally.

So yes—men should be wise, look beyond chemistry, and value long-term traits like consistency and trust. But don’t swing so far in the “rational” direction that you end up emotionally unavailable, or worse—incapable of true intimacy.

Final thought:
Don’t throw love out the window just because someone failed you. Heal, learn, choose better—but don’t confuse wisdom with emotional shutdown. The best relationships are a balance of heart and mind—not one at the cost of the other.

aribisala0:
Lions eat meat and goats eat grass.

I am a lion and cannot apologize for that . If you don't like it why not go chew some grass?

LeeSmart:
Haba wetin i do you now?
Why u dey vex with me

advanceDNA:
Y'all will be forming fake fairness as if your babe is monitoring your comments on nairaland

Must a thread be about both men and women at the same time.??..What's stopping you from opening a thread about women's regret...?? Instead of coming here to tackle someone

You are just creating unnecessary gender war..yet ..when you see all kinds of women and girls empowerment programmes...women scholarship, widow empowerment....y'all never come out to ask "what about men"??...abi boys/men no need help....?

Ruke1991:
It's not about brokenness
As a simp (what you call big boy), giving gifts undeservingly to random ladies to win their love means you contribute to the growth of the population of entitled ladies in the society. That attitude of trying to buy love also smacks of low self esteem.

JustcallmeFavou:
I have read most of the replies here, and all I can say is that; most men here are broken, and haven't healed from whatever pain, or trauma a lady they once dated caused them in the past.

Inasmuch as, I would say women shouldn't generalized all men as being scums, I would also say that single men should not generalize all women as being the same.

We meet different people with different personalities and whatsoever else they are silently fighting that they often times don't talk about or heal from.

Hence, its paramount that each gender gets to treat each other based on the present, not based on how another person has once treated them in past relationships.

This way, one doesn't loose or miss out on someone who could have been their soulmate, or a destined partner.

It's true that some men are demons, and that some women will help you see shege and won't care. But if one keeps treating every lady or guy that comes along based on past experiences or hurt, then the rate of divorce in the next 5/10 years will be way higher than now with no love, loyalty, commitment, or true friendship.

Talismann:
look, my exposé is nothing but the truth. I give summary of the broader discuss because of lack of time.

The reality of it is that is as old as time itself.
Prehistoric man was purely designed to be a provider, the woman giving support and nurturing the young.

While a number of men may disagree with my position, I wan't to state that I don't in anyway approve getting involved with a l0usy woman or one who cannot support a man in times of distress.

I unravel a hidden truth which is the reality of a man's importance, respect and a whole lot that makes a man, man; being tied to his ability to provide.

The dark truth is a woman can only run for a short while providing for you as a man without her losing respect for you.

It enforces the role of a man in the family. One who must weather the storm to ensure sustainable provision. nothing short of that.

While some may come at me and disagree with my position, I highly advise they stay away from dating or even getting married.

It's what it is

Chief2410:
women are only loyal to what they benefit.they are incapable of loving genuinely.know this and know peace.

olaolulazio:
Allowing her take a job in another state. Weyrey moved in with a single father of 2

johnog4sure:
Seconded as a married man, applicable even in marriage!

lavylilly:
You’ve shared a solid and admirable story—your independence, values, and discipline are commendable. But let’s not pretend your experience is the only balanced one, just as others’ negative experiences don’t define all women.

The truth is, both realities exist.
Yes, there are women like you—purposeful, self-sufficient, respectful. And yes, there are also women who manipulate, take advantage, or view men solely as walking wallets. Pretending the second group doesn’t exist doesn’t make the first group more noble—it just silences the pain others have faced.

What many of these so-called "Alpha males" are expressing—however unrefined or bitterly—is pain. Disappointment. Frustration with repeated patterns that feel like emotional or financial exploitation. Does that justify generalizing all women? No. But does it mean their experiences are invalid? Also no.

Let’s be real: men are taught to measure their worth by how much they can provide, not how emotionally intelligent or loving they are. So when a man loses his job or can’t “perform,” and someone he cared for bounces—that cuts deep. It’s not just about money. It’s about worth.

The problem is when people heal by hardening, instead of reflecting. That’s where bitterness comes from.

So yes, your story shows what’s possible. But it shouldn’t be used to invalidate others' hurt. Just like their pain shouldn't be used to paint you—or all women—as heartless or fake.

-What we need more of is nuance:

-Not all women are gold diggers.

-Not all men are simps.

-People are complex.

-Love is risky.

And healing is necessary—for everyone.