₦airaland Forum

So, according to the records (and my mother’s yearly reminder of how she almost died giving birth), I have been on this planet for exactly 26 years. Meaning I now possess 26 years of life experience. But I still don’t even know what I’m doing spiritually, emotionally, and financially. If adulthood had a user manual, I used mine to fan beans while they cooked.

At first, I wanted to do something reflective. You know, like write out my 26 sins at 26, just like Sir Isaac Newton did when he was 19. But I could only count five sins. And that’s if I include “praying for my secondary school to burn down so I can go home” and “replying messages in my head but forgetting to actually type.”

Anyway, I thank God for the gift of life.

It's not smooth sailing surviving 26 years in this country with an economy that would shock Adam Smith. As the classic Christian prayer goes, “Many who were born the same day have died.” But I like to flip the coin and say, “Many born the same day have gone on to buy houses, win awards, and appear on TV not as suspects.”

And that's when people hit me with the motivational card: “Don’t compare yourself to others.” But if we’re being honest, they don’t mean "don’t compare". They mean only look down the ladder and feel blessed, but please, never look up or you’ll develop angina and start asking “God, when?”

So what’s 26 years without some flashbacks?

Let’s rewind to exactly 10 years ago.

I was 16, full of dreams, empty of beards, and just coasting vibes on vibes. I had a plan. It was a lovely plan. In my mind, I’d graduate with my first degree by 21. I even added a one-year buffer, because you never know when village people might remember your name.

Plot twist: not only were my predictions wrong, the universe looked at my blueprint and said, “You think it's a joke?”

I entered university thinking I was on a mission. By 25, I was supposed to be “killing it.” I don’t even know what I was supposed to be killing. Probably not people. But 16-year-old me heard the phrase in a motivational video and just ran with it.

If there was any killing, it was when I murdered my dream of graduating by 22. By that age, I was still in 300 level with two more years to go.

So will 26-year-old me be making predictions for the next 5 years?

No, please. I’m still trying to predict what I’ll eat tomorrow.

Looking back, maybe I was too obsessed with things beyond my control. I couldn’t stop the university from striking for two years. I didn’t cause COVID-19 (unless... am I patient zero?), which made the school shut down for almost a year. Life threw punches, and I forgot my gloves.

Now I think the key is this: Set your goal like you’re hunting prey in the jungle - quiet, steady, low to the ground - and chase it with full force. But forget the whole “by age X” part. Life doesn’t care about your Excel sheet timeline.

So, for my next goal, I don't even have one for now. I can only pray the next 26 chapters favor me and my family. If life wants to surprise me, I just hope this time it’s with something good. Like a scholarship. Or stable NEPA light.

Until then, cheers to 26 years of lessons, laughter, and lag. God abeg, no buffer again.

This ripper

Lighterx:
This ripper

I rip you?

Just change your title to...


Rants of a 26 year old: Because was I born 26th may!

So just because you turned 26, you decided to start writing epistles?
Wait till you clock 50—na novel you go publish!

Ibkay32:
So just because you turned 26, you decided to start writing epistles?
Wait till you clock 50—na novel you go publish!

You're pained

Firebox123:
You're pained

Pained? The irony. Just reading through your post already makes it obvious who’s truly hurt here. You didn’t even need to say much, your words screamed it louder than anything else could. Next time, try to mask the bitterness better.

Happy birthday brother,keep looking up,keep your eyes focused on the brighter side

Cheers to ur new age bro,no worry ur writing skills go open new doors fr u dis year..

Biqsahm:
Cheers to ur new age bro,no worry ur writing skills go open new doors fr u dis year..

Thanks bro.

Ibkay32:
So just because you turned 26, you decided to start writing epistles?
Wait till you clock 50—na novel you go publish!

That would be an achievement, but since your I.Q. is lower than your shoe size, you would not be able to recognize that.