₦airaland Forum

When you pay attention to the intent of a word of advice, then you can gauge if it's from a place of care, concern or disguised mockery.

The " Go and marry" tag falls in line with the disguised mockery often packaged as a genuine concern.
Age, finance and status are mostly the determinant of these fallacious shows of sportsmanship as it is always a subtle way to remind you of your decline.
Rarely does happiness, companionship or even peace of mind be considered as a criteria for the supposed " Go and marry" advice.

Isn't it surprising that if there is a refusal on your part to cling onto the marriage ship, they throw in a subtle jibe and undertone caricature, reminding you of your anticipated decline and risk of losing out in life.
Every other achievement is discarded and you are faced with multiple reasons why you are on your way to doom.

Then the game starts,
Pressure from onlookers
Constant reminder of your lack of purpose (marriage wise)
Subtle jibe and derogatory insinuations
Age shaming and broke shaming.

It's like there is a calculated arrangement to undermine every good thing in your life outside of marriage.
Soon it gets to a stage where the pendulum swings and they become loud, aggressive, judgmental, mean, disrespectful and what have you! Just to sway and hasten your decision.

The question is why do you get offended at my refusal to heed your supposed advice?
Why am I getting mocked all of a sudden?
Why are my achievements secondary to your concerns?
Why do I need to prove my intent of life with marriage?

Think about it slowly!

We are all a product of life and it is expected through procreation to give life too. I understand that sometimes you need a slight push to make future decisions especially when it concerns others.
What I don't understand is why there is pressure to act quickly, a timer to determine my right to what fulfillment entails.
Maybe I'm overthinking, just maybe?

" Go and marry" is far from what it looks like, it has become a source of pain, caricature and a reminder of a looming failure.
The pressure takes a toll on people.
The sigh of relief that comes after marriage is mostly from a place of freedom against the society, instead of a genuine path to a beautiful next chapter.

I am due for marriage, I am 40 yet not married because there no money, my body needs it

Nackzy:
I am due for marriage, I am 40 yet not married because there no money, my body needs it

Are you due for marriage because you are 40 Or because you genuinely want a companion and life around you?
Sometimes we allow societal standards determine our course of action. Don't be pressured into anything.
Your priority now should be getting a stable source of income and then you can find a partner to build with ( there is someone out there for you).
Afterwards you can get married and still enjoy your life.

Abeg no complain. You yourself also cause pain and misery to other people. Humans are just wicked and evil.

tanigororo:
I am 40, I have stable income, I am okay.
If you pressure me I pressure you back!!!

Imagine someone who can't feed his family advising someone that rakes in 7 digits monthly to get married .

Dtruthspeaker:
Abeg no complain. You yourself also cause pain and misery to other people. Humans are just wicked and evil.

Does it include you?

Go and marry

Like it is something people just go and do.

Fun topic.

I'm curious, how do you balance career and marriage at your age? 😄

This topic is between some of us that agreed and those who are likely to disagree.

The truth is this,if u have money and had the opportunity to have married like 5yrs ago when u were 35 and u didn't marry,as soon as u clock 40 and got married u will know within u,that u have messed up considering retirement and the lost yrs.


And to those who have decided not to marry,it is also a good decision. Reason is, every decision has its consequence and such is life.

Everyone should enjoy.

For me,I will advice that if u don't have money,pls don't marry.

Marriage can kill u before ur time...the cost of running a family is crazy under this current president.

I used to advice men to marry in their 30s but not anymore.

Pls,avoid it if u can.

Funny Nigerians.

They would advise you to go and marry while at the end of the conversation, they want to bill you about their children school fees.. hahaha Na so marriage, giving birth easy?

Mekuseh11:
When you pay attention to the intent of a word of advice, then you can gauge if it's from a place of care, concern or disguised mockery.

The " Go and marry" tag falls in line with the disguised mockery often packaged as a genuine concern.
Age, finance and status are mostly the determinant of these fallacious shows of sportsmanship as it is always a subtle way to remind you of your decline.
Rarely does happiness, companionship or even peace of mind be considered as a criteria for the supposed " Go and marry" advice.

Isn't it surprising that if there is a refusal on your part to cling onto the marriage ship, they throw in a subtle jibe and undertone caricature, reminding you of your anticipated decline and risk of losing out in life.
Every other achievement is discarded and you are faced with multiple reasons why you are on your way to doom.

Then the game starts,
Pressure from onlookers
Constant reminder of your lack of purpose (marriage wise)
Subtle jibe and derogatory insinuations
Age shaming and broke shaming.

It's like there is a calculated arrangement to undermine every good thing in your life outside of marriage.
Soon it gets to a stage where the pendulum swings and they become loud, aggressive, judgmental, mean, disrespectful and what have you! Just to sway and hasten your decision.

The question is why do you get offended at my refusal to heed your supposed advice?
Why am I getting mocked all of a sudden?
Why are my achievements secondary to your concerns?
Why do I need to prove my intent of life with marriage?

Think about it slowly!

We are all a product of life and it is expected through procreation to give life too. I understand that sometimes you need a slight push to make future decisions especially when it concerns others.
What I don't understand is why there is pressure to act quickly, a timer to determine my right to what fulfillment entails.
Maybe I'm overthinking, just maybe?

" Go and marry" is far from what it looks like, it has become a source of pain, caricature and a reminder of a looming failure.
The pressure takes a toll on people.
The sigh of relief that comes after marriage is mostly from a place of freedom against the society, instead of a genuine path to a beautiful next chapter.

Ppl don't mind their business I remember it took me 2yrs before I had a child after marriage..I wasn't willing to get my wife pregnant but ppl no gree mind their business even the pastor wey join us see me one day dey ask when we go invite am for naming I tell am say when it's time we go let am know me wey dey use cd with my wife..dey begin dey give one eye..even neighbours..until we ready na im we born..no be them go buy aptamil and Hughes for me

Truth is...

Those telling you.. 'go and marry' are not doing it from the place of love for you. If they really cared, how come they don't trouble you about having multiple streams of income as much as they trouble you with marriage

GO AND MARRY

Mekuseh11:
When you pay attention to the intent of a word of advice, then you can gauge if it's from a place of care, concern or disguised mockery.

The " Go and marry" tag falls in line with the disguised mockery often packaged as a genuine concern.
Age, finance and status are mostly the determinant of these fallacious shows of sportsmanship as it is always a subtle way to remind you of your decline.
Rarely does happiness, companionship or even peace of mind be considered as a criteria for the supposed " Go and marry" advice.

Isn't it surprising that if there is a refusal on your part to cling onto the marriage ship, they throw in a subtle jibe and undertone caricature, reminding you of your anticipated decline and risk of losing out in life.
Every other achievement is discarded and you are faced with multiple reasons why you are on your way to doom.

Then the game starts,
Pressure from onlookers
Constant reminder of your lack of purpose (marriage wise)
Subtle jibe and derogatory insinuations
Age shaming and broke shaming.

It's like there is a calculated arrangement to undermine every good thing in your life outside of marriage.
Soon it gets to a stage where the pendulum swings and they become loud, aggressive, judgmental, mean, disrespectful and what have you! Just to sway and hasten your decision.

The question is why do you get offended at my refusal to heed your supposed advice?
Why am I getting mocked all of a sudden?
Why are my achievements secondary to your concerns?
Why do I need to prove my intent of life with marriage?

Think about it slowly!

We are all a product of life and it is expected through procreation to give life too. I understand that sometimes you need a slight push to make future decisions especially when it concerns others.
What I don't understand is why there is pressure to act quickly, a timer to determine my right to what fulfillment entails.
Maybe I'm overthinking, just maybe?

" Go and marry" is far from what it looks like, it has become a source of pain, caricature and a reminder of a looming failure.
The pressure takes a toll on people.
The sigh of relief that comes after marriage is mostly from a place of freedom against the society, instead of a genuine path to a beautiful next chapter.

Wrong

It's about taking responsibility and being responsible in the society.

Why do you think landlords n some country's visa give priority to a family man

Noted.

It’s well

Nackzy:
I am due for marriage, I am 40 yet not married because there no money, my body needs it

In today's world, 40 years of age is still okay for a man.

But you must start building on something meaningful for yourself and future at this stage. That's very important.

Otherwise, if you desire marriage later, it may continue to remain just in your dream.

Never listen to anyone who tells you to go and marry. Marry only because you feel a genuine need to do so and you feel it will add benefits to your life.

85% of people who advice others to marry use that as a subtle way of mocking single people. Then some people are jealous of you because you don't have the kind of financial responsibilities they have so they want you to marry so that you can be like them.

Then you'll hear some people say unmarried people are irresponsible. Another foolish talk. When did marriage become an achievement? There are many married people who are irresponsible. Some of of the richest people in the world are unmarried - Bill Gates, Dangote, Elon Musk, Anthony Joshua etc.

Don't let anyone push you

After the marriage, the next thing is where are the children

After the children the next thing is Japa probably. or where is the house you have built

tanigororo:
I am 40, I have stable income, I am okay.
If you pressure me I pressure you back!!!

They don't know, lols. When I say why don't they just die too since people their age have died, they'd start acting funny 🤣

Pressure for pressure.

It surprises me when they feel so entitled to my life, such that they feel they would live my life better than me. Imagine inferring that I should not be entitled to decision I have resolved to make whether due to careful or not so careful thinking and reflection. Like they don't believe that what ever is outside me is under advisements automatically, they feel because they say, I must do. They be playing, feeling too much of themselves.

" Go and marry", God will help you. Hunger go Kee you till your erection becomes sterile

You are finished when you enter survival mode

Who go gree marry me..😭😭😭

Find true love first. Not marry today, divorce tomorrow.

Do ladies even marry for love or for comfort and wealth. As long as the man is charming and wealthy that is all a lady needs.

Is a man that can marry for love even when she is poor.

Babangidapikin:
Find true love first. Not marry today, divorce tomorrow.

Lol, according to Maslow's original law of hierarchy of needs, there are five sets of basic needs: physiological, safety, love, esteem and self-actualization. These needs are related to each other in a hierarchy of prepotency (or strength) beginning with the physiological needs that are the most prepotent of all.


Marriage is part of man's needs, the need becomes more pressing when a man attains financial stability.



So op, people telling you to go and marry are not doing any bad.


I wonder how a man would derive complete fulfillment at 40yrs, financially buoyant and no family of his own; no wife or kids. It's going to be a very sad, boring, disorganized and messy life

SeriouslySense:
Do ladies even marry for love or for comfort and wealth. As long as the man is charming and wealthy that is all a lady needs.

You know I am actually addressing the men , because billing is 50% marital issues, and you need to love her to enjoy her billing.

Early marriage is not bad. But marry when you have the income, the shelter, the mental stability and the income. Yes, I deliberately repeated income twice. Marriage without stable income will drain every drop of youthfulness in you.

ABOVE all, marry a good choice. Whether you are male or female, make sure you KNOW the choice you are making. Screen them in every WAY, including spiritually. If you see what bad marital choice has done to some people, you will do your due diligence before settling down with anyone.

Marriage is sweet when you get the choice right, and when your finances are good.