₦airaland Forum

It's going to be a long read. I'll like to describe my paternal and maternal families.

My late dad played a vital role in both families. In the paternal, he trained all both in business, education and even sent some abroad. His after thought was that they will replicate same gesture on his kids. It wasn't tho..Even when he died, they were looking to sell his lands so they could fund the burial..igbo burials are expensive. Tho they helped once in a while after we all became graduates.

Now to my maternal family, my dad also contributed. Gave Mom's bro a job, trained one in university, trained one and settled in the university.. They tried tho as we spent most of our university hols with them and they gave us some stipends while in school.

Mom's bro, their first son, who's my uncle, call him Uncle T, really tried for us.
We went to private university so fees are quite expensive. Dad would borrow money from Uncle T and pay back so we could pay fees. When Dad and my late sis passed away, he also contributed to it positively.

The only problem with Uncle T is arrogance and pride. When my mom would plead to borrow money for fees when we're in school, he would flare up and say things like 'he has not trained his own kids and he wants to contribute for another'. Tho he may later do it but he always says some hurtful things before helping.

Sometimes, he would come in my room in his house and start searching if I were with a lady. Also told his kids to stop playing with me. I noticed .

I endured a lot of these but after my dad's burial, I made sure I left his apartment and got mine even tho it was difficult.. I needed to be a man and get my own respect no matter how little because the insults were becoming too much.

My younger bro also moved in with me. I noticed my uncle wasn't happy with my relocation but I was happier and had peace of mind. He talked well with my younger bro and I noticed my brother's attitude towards me changed. Ive asked him what the problem was but he keeps pretending that all was well.

My uncle never visited me for once for the 2 years I spent in my new apartment but when I got a job in Lagos, his kids visited my younger bro.

I still try as much as possible to call him every 1st of a new month to greet him. One of my younger siblings who's still in school goes to his house for hols. I had a very strange feeling about him so I called my uncle, after all the greetings and after asking about his family, I asked after my younger bro and he said all was well.

Few days later younger bro called me to tell me he's only being fed once a day and he uses his money to go to his shop daily and he's sick. I felt bad tho and I gave him funds to take care of himself.

The one that pained me to date was when I told him I'd get married soon. He appeared happy and said I should carry him along on everything. I made sure I did from when we went for lab tests and all.

Unfortunately, the wedding didn't work out due to family disagreement. My mom communicated to her family. Her brothers called me except my uncle. I called him and he said.."yes , your mom told me everything and I said I won't call you. You shouldn't be angry..it's one of those things..I didn't give birth to a boy...only girls"

This was too vile..I told my mom about it but she sounded defensive.

There are lots I can't type here but for now...I've stopped calling him or any relative.

No one can really understand what you are going through. But from experience hustle and be successful. Everyone will acknowledge you. Just stay focused on your life goals.

Don't ever ignore ur uncle.

I don't see any problem in this kind of family at all.

Your uncle has actually played a part in u people's life,don't count everything against him.

Thankfully,ur father was a bridge builder and a wonderful man who actually set a standard for all.

Life no balance any where.

ZBUGZY:
No one can really understand what you are going through. But from experience hustle and be successful. Everyone will acknowledge you. Just stay focused on your life goals.

Thank you..I appreciate

Ibechris2:
Don't ever ignore ur uncle.

I don't see any problem in this kind of family at all.

Your uncle has actually played a part in u people's life,don't count everything against him.

Thankfully,ur father was a bridge builder and a wonderful man who actually set a standard for all.

Life no balance any where.

I get you but there's a limit to the subtle and direct insults to an adult in his 30s like me.

adaperry25:
I get you but there's a limit to the subtle and direct insults to an adult in his 30s like me.

My brother,I understand u better.

Just assume that everyone can't be like u or ur dad.

adaperry25:
I get you but there's a limit to the subtle and direct insults to an adult in his 30s like me.

You're a man and there's "Ada" in your username?

Ibechris2:
Don't ever ignore ur uncle.

I don't see any problem in this kind of family at all.

Your uncle has actually played a part in u people's life,don't count everything against him.

Thankfully,ur father was a bridge builder and a wonderful man who actually set a standard for all.

Life no balance any where.

What are you even saying? 😧


Op, give that your so-called uncle distance, to avoid learning the hard way. Trust me on that one!
He has given you clues concerning who he truly is, so don't ignore it.
Don't ignore your intuition, to avoid regrets later on.

Also, be prayerful. Be very prayerful.
Always pray for God's protection, for yourself, your siblings, and your mum.

As for your brother, he's under the manipulations of that your uncle, that is why he acts out towards you.
Don't overlook him. Keep praying for him.
You people (you and your siblings) have to stand together as one.

It is unfortunate that it is your maternal uncle that is behaving that way, which is unusual.

Zonefree:
You're a man and there's "Ada" in your username?

Maybe it's his sister's account. 😀

I used to comment with my brother's account before I registered mine.
He'd be angry when he got mentions. 🤣🤣

Stop giving this uncle any relevance. Both your mom and your siblings should avoid him.

You should always pray to God/ anything you worship, that your uncle didn't go diabolical on you.

Honestly if you are not a billionaire, never think of sending your children to private university.

Money doesn't grow on trees.

You are not a ritualist

Have foresight that that excess money will save you in future

dont understand your point

ChangedMan1999:
Honestly if you are not a billionaire, never think of sending your children to private university.

Money doesn't grow on trees.

You are not a ritualist

Have foresight that that excess money will save you in future

adaperry25:
It's going to be a long read. I'll like to describe my paternal and maternal families.

My late dad played a vital role in both families. In the paternal, he trained all both in business, education and even sent some abroad. His after thought was that they will replicate same gesture on his kids. It wasn't tho..Even when he died, they were looking to sell his lands so they could fund the burial..igbo burials are expensive. Tho they helped once in a while after we all became graduates.

Now to my maternal family, my dad also contributed. Gave Mom's bro a job, trained one in university, trained one and settled in the university.. They tried tho as we spent most of our university hols with them and they gave us some stipends while in school.

Mom's bro, their first son, who's my uncle, call him Uncle T, really tried for us.
We went to private university so fees are quite expensive. Dad would borrow money from Uncle T and pay back so we could pay fees. When Dad and my late sis passed away, he also contributed to it positively.

The only problem with Uncle T is arrogance and pride. When my mom would plead to borrow money for fees when we're in school, he would flare up and say things like 'he has not trained his own kids and he wants to contribute for another'. Tho he may later do it but he always says some hurtful things before helping.

Sometimes, he would come in my room in his house and start searching if I were with a lady. Also told his kids to stop playing with me. I noticed .

I endured a lot of these but after my dad's burial, I made sure I left his apartment and got mine even tho it was difficult.. I needed to be a man and get my own respect no matter how little because the insults were becoming too much.

My younger bro also moved in with me. I noticed my uncle wasn't happy with my relocation but I was happier and had peace of mind. He talked well with my younger bro and I noticed my brother's attitude towards me changed. Ive asked him what the problem was but he keeps pretending that all was well.

My uncle never visited me for once for the 2 years I spent in my new apartment but when I got a job in Lagos, his kids visited my younger bro.

I still try as much as possible to call him every 1st of a new month to greet him. One of my younger siblings who's still in school goes to his house for hols. I had a very strange feeling about him so I called my uncle, after all the greetings and after asking about his family, I asked after my younger bro and he said all was well.

Few days later younger bro called me to tell me he's only being fed once a day and he uses his money to go to his shop daily and he's sick. I felt bad tho and I gave him funds to take care of himself.

The one that pained me to date was when I told him I'd get married soon. He appeared happy and said I should carry him along on everything. I made sure I did from when we went for lab tests and all.

Unfortunately, the wedding didn't work out due to family disagreement. My mom communicated to her family. Her brothers called me except my uncle. I called him and he said.."yes , your mom told me everything and I said I won't call you. You shouldn't be angry..it's one of those things..I didn't give birth to a boy...only girls"

This was too vile..I told my mom about it but she sounded defensive.

There are lots I can't type here but for now...I've stopped calling him or any relative.

For the fact that your dad contributed immensely to the wellbeing of others DOES NOT that they owe you or him any gratitude. Know this and know peace. Do not expect much from people.

Secondly, you ought have informed your uncle that you were to get married. He does not have to call you. It is your duty to inform him.

He is not obligated to attend your wedding. Let's learn to understand that people reserve the choice to associate with us or not. You cannot decide for people what to do. If some of tell you our stories, you will be shaken.

Elusive001:
For the fact that your dad contributed immensely to the wellbeing of others DOES NOT that they owe you or him any gratitude. Know this and know peace. Do not expect much from people.

Secondly, you ought have informed your uncle that you were to get married. He does not have to call you. It is your duty to inform him.

please read carefully before commenting.

I said he was informed.

adaperry25:
please read carefully before commenting.

I said he was informed.

Okay.
I see that you communicated with him about the wedding yourself.

Nevertheless, some of us passed through similar and even worse situations with our uncles, aunts, and cousins.

Don't take this to heart. People have freedom and choice of association. Forgive and let go. We are all different.

Your Dad was supposed to use his money to build his business and other investments that could cater for his children while he's gone.

Helping other people that are not his immediate family does not translate to them helping his own kids.

If your uncle doesn't want to have anything to do with you or your family, mind your business and face your life.