₦airaland Forum

Bonjovi13:
You have probably lost her going by her reaction.
Never ever admit that you can hit a woman for whatever reason even if she hits you first.

Your position should be that upon provocation you would diffuse the situation or walk away. That shows that you have self control which is a trait any woman would prefer because they know that they can get out of line one day and they would need you to be the bigger man to diffuse the situation or walk away.I’m totally against violence!…but what are you saying? Just listen to yourself.



The way you said you would retaliate against a woman who hit you, made you seem like someone who would not hesitate to assault a woman physically if she ever gets out of line by hitting you. She will never feel safe with you. Hence her withdrawal.

I suggest you apologise and change your
position. Assure her that you now understand how your words may have come across.

Tell her that you will make sure that you will never make her mad to the extent that she will hit you and that God forbid if that happens, you will with love and maturity diffuse the situation or walk away.

DOUBLEBARREL:
I'd have deflected the question thus by asking her,.... who is your favorite male celebrity ?,,, answers(davido, Wizkid,2 face e.t.c),.. would you ever think to slap him if you were in a relationship with him ? (The añswer would be No)... If I were an ideal boyfriend in your perception you wouldn't think these thoughts.. except maybe u are confusing me with some one else.

RandomFellow:
In Diplomacy, we deflect questions. You answered well, but not well enough!; I'll score you 5/10! That's what an average guy on the street would do; I want to believe you're not an average guy; you're above average!

When she asked what you'd do if a woman slaps you, you should have shut down the conversation at that point! There are different ways to shut it down. Don't dignify her with an answer (but wetin you go do dey your mind).

For example, you could deflect by asking her who she values most in church or music. Ask her if she can ask them such a question. Or ask if she can slap them for any reasons. ANY REASON at all!!!

You could even feign annoyance, telling her to stop asking such childish questions. Tell her it's an insult for her to ask if you'd hit a woman. Why should you even ask if I'd hit a woman. How do you expect me to start constructing an answer to this insult babe? Haba naa... You're diminishing my brain cells by asking me these questions. We should be talking about how we'd build billion dollar empires, and you're here asking me shii... Please lets grow up.

Mind you, in the second scenario, you did not answer the question... But wetin you go do dey your mind.


Deflect the question next time such things are asked you! Na you be boss ooo... Any body wey wan know if you go slap them should come and slap, and you'll tell them the answer.

My little 2 year old slapped me, I slapped him back (tiny slap sha, but he was shocked)! Told him that's how life is. If your mate slaps you, slap him back, and don't come crying to me. Let their parents come complain, and I'll apologize on you and our family's behalf- I'll even pay compensation if need be. But I don't want to be complaining to others.


If my woman slap me (my wife would never even try it), I'll make sure she receives something worse. Not necessarily physical, but something she'll never forget in her life. I might separate from her because of that (even if I was the one at the wrong)! Yes... My offence (even if I got another woman pregnant) is dwarfed by your slap. Don't ever try it

Atasko:
That's my thought process as well. She sees nothing wrong with a woman hitting a man but frowns at the retaliation. I see it as double standard. She's literally keeping malice with me over this our conversation lol

AirBere:
planned conversation for online engagement.

If it's true, then this girl has a negative IQ.

Juliearth:
Exactly! She baited him and he fell for it. Only an emotionally intelligent person can throw such baits. Asking that question doesn't mean she would play out the response she gave. She painted that picture to get your reaction.


Research more about emotional intelligence and you would understand that it goes hand-in-hand with emotional manipulation and that was the blow the op suffered.




Point of correction. Yes, she was trying to manipulate him not to being abused, but to know if he can return the gesture if it happens (not like she intends to tow that path)

Unseen:
In military, one of the Rules of Engagement states that a civilian with a weapon is military and should be treated as such.

In man/woman relationship... A woman that hits you first is a Man and should be treated as such

Double0h7:
I think you should stand on your principle. She's trying to manipulate you into accepting violence from a woman under the guise that she is weaker and her hits won't hurt.

An abuser, male or female, start their violence small. It will be a slap here and there, pulling and tearing your clothes, and then one day it be an object to the back of the head, or a knife in your chest. Stop violence from the dot!

jubrilELsudan:
YOU NO GET ANY SENSE

IT'S OBVIOUS YOU ARE A WOMAN BEATER

YOUR GIRLFRIEND REALLY DODGED A BULLET CAUSE SHE WOULD HAVE ENDED UP MARRYING A WOMAN BEATER LIKE YOU

Atasko:
That's my thought process as well. She sees nothing wrong with a woman hitting a man but frowns at the retaliation. I see it as double standard. She's literally keeping malice with me over this our conversation lol

Atasko:
Hi. I had this chat with my girlfriend today and I'm here wondering if I have been having a messed up principle. I personally don't believe in violence. I will rather involve the authority than get physical. While growing up, I have always believed that hitting a woman irrespective of her actions is totally wrong until I was slapped in SS1 by a hot tempered girl. I didn't hit her back but I randomly think about it ever since . After that, I decided to always return every assault irrespective of the gender. But now I'm questioning that principle after this convoy. Am I wrong? What will you do in a similar situation?

Atasko:
If you can hit her back then, we have similar principle then . I don't know why she feel it's wrong to hit back.

Juliearth:
Exactly! She baited him and he fell for it. Only an emotionally intelligent person can throw such baits. Asking that question doesn't mean she would play out the response she gave. She painted that picture to get your reaction.


Research more about emotional intelligence and you would understand that it goes hand-in-hand with emotional manipulation and that was the blow the op suffered.




Point of correction. Yes, she was trying to manipulate him not to being abused, but to know if he can return the gesture if it happens (not like she intends to tow that path)

Unseen:
In military, one of the Rules of Engagement states that a civilian with a weapon is military and should be treated as such.

In man/woman relationship... A woman that hits you first is a Man and should be treated as such

Double0h7:
I think you should stand on your principle. She's trying to manipulate you into accepting violence from a woman under the guise that she is weaker and her hits won't hurt.

An abuser, male or female, start their violence small. It will be a slap here and there, pulling and tearing your clothes, and then one day it be an object to the back of the head, or a knife in your chest. Stop violence from the dot!

Cmanforall:
Kids chat

Bye 👋


Which one is not enough original content from Nairaland.
Seun, must we now write essays

Double0h7:
I think you should stand on your principle. She's trying to manipulate you into accepting violence from a woman under the guise that she is weaker and her hits won't hurt.

An abuser, male or female, start their violence small. It will be a slap here and there, pulling and tearing your clothes, and then one day it be an object to the back of the head, or a knife in your chest. Stop violence from the dot!

Cmanforall:
Kids chat

Bye 👋


Which one is not enough original content from Nairaland.
Seun, must we now write essays

Atasko:
That's my thought process as well. She sees nothing wrong with a woman hitting a man but frowns at the retaliation. I see it as double standard. She's literally keeping malice with me over this our conversation lol

Juliearth:
Exactly! She baited him and he fell for it. Only an emotionally intelligent person can throw such baits. Asking that question doesn't mean she would play out the response she gave. She painted that picture to get your reaction. manipulate him not to being abused, but to know if he can return the gesture if it happens (not like she intends to tow that path)

NSK4U:
Just noticed that too and I wondered!

Will soon join readers association, e no hard

Juliearth:
Your ŵoman baited you and you fell for it. Or maybe not exactly falling, but you pet out your disposition to the situation.


Let's just say her level of emotional intelligence surpasses yours.

profmallor:
All women have double standard, thats their nature. Most of them are very manipulative, yes, including but not limited to our mothers. While in the future she may not hit you, she wants to know if you are vindictive enough to seek retaliation. Let her know the answer is yes, it might save you from future heart ache.