₦airaland Forum

Struggling women marry relatively well to do men all the time. It's men's genuinely benevolent nature.

Nnamdipapa:
I mean I will have her give me one child and be my baby mama instead of a wife. I will also compensate her heavily and take care of my child. I will make her my baby mama.

You want to eat you cake and also have it.
What is special about babyama's concept?
Baby Mama's takes irrational decisions,
They are prone to dangerous and wicked guys just to sleep with them and move on.
Secondly, the kid is exposed to different kind of men not dad.
There is difference between a man and a dad mind you.
Lastly, why should you impregnate a lady you can't spend the rest of your lifer with her.

bazoodo:
Hi everyone

Is it advisable to marry a struggling 38 year old woman? Yes she's employed but financially not stable. ?? Any pros and cons?

Thank you

✅ Pros of Marrying a Struggling (but Employed) 38-Year-Old Woman

1. Emotional Maturity
At 38, she likely has a clearer sense of self, life experience, and emotional depth — valuable traits in a partner.


2. Work Ethic
If she's employed and trying to improve her finances, she’s not passive. Struggling doesn't mean lazy.


3. Shared Growth
Supporting each other through tough times often strengthens bonds. You could build something meaningful together.


4. More Focused on Long-Term Commitment
People in their late 30s are often more serious about relationships and less likely to play games.


5. You Might Complement Each Other
If you are financially stable, your strengths might balance her weaknesses. She may bring emotional or relational strengths you lack.




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⚠️ Cons (or Challenges)

1. Financial Stress
Money problems can strain a relationship. You’ll need to talk openly about budgeting, debt, and goals.


2. Possible Dependence
If she’s struggling long-term with no plan or growth, you could become a financial crutch — that can breed resentment.


3. Different Priorities or Expectations
If her instability comes with chaos (e.g., poor financial decisions), that may affect your lifestyle or values.


4. Biological Clock (If Children Are a Factor)
If you want kids, time may be limited, so this is something to talk about early.


5. Hidden Baggage
Financial struggle might reflect deeper issues (past trauma, bad decisions, health issues). Not always, but worth exploring.




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🧠 Key Questions to Ask Yourself

Do you love her — or are you trying to "rescue" her?

Is she growing or stuck in the same cycle?

Can you talk openly about money without her getting defensive?

Are you financially, emotionally, and mentally ready to possibly support someone for a while?



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👥 Final Thought

Marriage is a partnership, not a transaction. Financial stability matters, but character, communication, and shared vision matter more.

If you're unsure, you might consider pre-marital counseling. It can uncover deeper issues early and help both of you make a smart, informed decision.

The flag is BLOOD RED!
She has too much baggage
1. Her past heartbreaks will cause toxic behavior
2. High likelihood of infertility
3. Even if she can have a child, the child has high likelihood of having birth defects
4. Her beauty will be on a very steep decline

bazoodo:
Hi everyone

Is it advisable to marry a struggling 38 year old woman? Yes she's employed but financially not stable. ?? Any pros and cons?

Thank you

The life people live is a continuous struggle to achieve goals. In life no one is financially stable. Finance and the economy is dynamic and not static.

F.....o.....o.....l.....i.....s.....h question.





Please take a moment to write a quality post with at least 40 characters.
This will make the forum more interesting for everyone.

Being 38 or 25 or below is just mindset.
It depends on the individual.
Struggling lady would be an ideal woman to marry why because if she succeeded in her endeavours the sky would be her limit.
My only challenge in most of them is when real guys came earlier for marriage they would say they aren't ready to settle down only for them to regret decisions taken earlier.
But not all got good suitors earlier also.
My only criteria for marriage is educated being irrespective of the financial status.

Manculated:
Nothing wey anybody wan tell me.

This Babe is just too Intelligent and down to earth. Uyai i give it to you😍

I agree... Pocohantaa use to be like this, until she turned feminist.. Lol.

bazoodo:
Hi everyone

Is it advisable to marry a struggling 38 year old woman? Yes she's employed but financially not stable. ?? Any pros and cons?

Thank you

Yes. You can marry them.

22 more characters needed

God forbid bad thing!


23 more characters neededd

Why would anyone in his right sense even marry a 30year old woman not to talk of a 38year old

For What?

Ashawoman82:
I agree... Pocohantaa use to be like this, until she turned feminist.. Lol.

Yes you are right.

However, She remains a good and kind lady inspite of her aggressive nature.

On the feminist part, Life happens to us all. We just manage it better than each other.

pocohantas:
I can't and I won't. Except she is very beautiful and has unique skills she is bringing to the marriage/home. She must have developed other aspects of her life to an enviable level. In the absence of this, she has to tell me what was her longterm plan for life.

If I am a struggling 45yo man, I will do it. Not like the younger girls would want me anyway.

Don't spam the forum by advertising in the wrong places or posting the same content many times.

franchasng:
I am very good. Just checked your profile, you are now looking sweeter oh, wow. God bless whoever or whatever that has been making you shine like this


You are now a Sweet Fanta Dialo, Tomato Jos

thats a man

Don't spam the forum by advertising in the wrong places or posting the same content many times.

Fact is that I can't even marry 30 that's not financially stable talk more of 38 that's still struggling financially.

bazoodo:
Hi everyone

Is it advisable to marry a struggling 38 year old woman? Yes she's employed but financially not stable. ?? Any pros and cons?

Thank you

Well, as long as she as good moral upbringing and past, well behaved and serious. It is good to go

Esthered:
Why do you need online validation or invalidating to make to make your decision?

I thought love conquers all.

Seeking advice is not a sin or crime. In fact, it is good to seek advice

franchasng:
When did a woman's financial capability became a criteria for marrying her? Hmmmm, this is a sign of worsening national economic situation, sighs.

Weird. But times are changing, things are changing too.

If she is a virgin yes I will marry her hello guys never you marry a non virgin if u do u are gone..those who meet their wives as non virgin should do a DNA test on their first child and last child..never u pay the bride price of non virgins how do u live with her knowing fully well u paid for a damaged goods if u insist that u must pay never pay more than I0 naira..wat do I even know other than to tell my fellow men this good new

The biggest question should be, what’s her body count?
If she stared at 15-16 like most girl of today, the body could be unimaginable?
The body count is what determines her value! Many body counts- less value.
Zero body count—high value!

pocohantas:
I can't and I won't. Except she is very beautiful and has unique skills she is bringing to the marriage/home. She must have developed other aspects of her life to an enviable level. In the absence of this, she has to tell me what was her longterm plan for life.

If I am a struggling 45yo man, I will do it. Not like the younger girls would want me anyway.

Thank you for this. This is just it. If there are no unique skills, why risk it in the first place?

Right now, she's most likely desperate and won't mind marrying even an imbecilé just to have that ''Mrs" title, but her eyes are still searching for her romeo.

The moment a man (even slightly) better than her husband comes up, fiam, she don vamoose!

Nnamdipapa:
Run for your life.

The purpose of marriage is for the two to combine assets and benefit from the effect synergy. Not for two liabilities to combine or an asset with a liability.

You will regret bitterly ten years down the lane. Keep her as a fwb or gf while you build yourself and evaluate other options.

By the timebshe enters your house and the veils removed, she will claim entitlements and you would almost regret your life. Women see marriage as break through and opportunity, where all things are not working, the man is in troubles of everyday nagging,which can send men to untimely grave.

Silentgroper:
If the case is vice versa, should all of this be applied??

Do you mean if the woman was the one asking?

Ahhhh!

How does he want to head a home with struggling finance? His ego will not allow him to make the marriage work even if she's willing to marry him.
Where's Soul E and Princess Ure today....

The Bible says who builds a house without first counting the cost.

That's the stage I married my wife and since then, no regrets. We've been married for over 10years now.

Harddiskng:
You can see where i stopped reading.

You are one of those people that give advise that you yourself will not take/do.

Why advise a man to settle for less when it’s something you will never do. Why don’t you help the 56 year old man to do better if you love him.

Instead love wasn’t even in your equation at all. “I can’t” fullstop. Why should a man even give consideration to such when he like you is in a far better position and can do far better

Note: the polar opposite of a 38 year old, financially unstable and unmarried woman is a 56 year old, financially unstable and unmarried man. It is NOT a 38 year old man - unlike the 38 year old women, a 38 year old man hasn’t peaked and has small chance to pivot and turn around his life (before 45).

Why is the polar opposite 56 and not same 38?
Why is all hope lost for a 38 years old woman?
She too can't experience a turnaround?

Allwell96:
That's the stage I married my wife and since then, no regrets. We've been married for over 10years now.

Are you saying she was the struggling one?

Or were you the one struggling?

bazoodo:
Hi everyone

Is it advisable to marry a struggling 38 year old woman? Yes she's employed but financially not stable. ?? Any pros and cons?

Thank you

Irrespective of age, never marry a woman that's dependent

ledaman:
You want to eat you cake and also have it.
What is special about babyama's concept?
Baby Mama's takes irrational decisions,
They are prone to dangerous and wicked guys just to sleep with them and move on.
Secondly, the kid is exposed to different kind of men not dad.
There is difference between a man and a dad mind you.
Lastly, why should you impregnate a lady you can't spend the rest of your lifer with her.

Check around, you will find some working class ladies who are comfortable with such arrangements. Nothing is special about marriage or a woman living with you

A 38 year single lady is a no. By this Age, her eyes have seen Shege from at least 10 Ex boy friends calculating that she started dating at like age 16. She will only play defensive mid fielder role in a marriage because she will hardly trust any man going by previous experiences from both Yoruba demons and Igbo Odogwus

Expired product. She may not consive oh! God's time is the best!

Shebi dem say 16 na under-age!

I nor con dey understand again oh!

MrPresident1:
The whole concept of marriage has been destroyed by western civilization. A 38 year old woman is supposed to be helping to nurse her grandchild

If she marries at 16, by 38, her girl child is 20+ already married too

The Law is coming to right everything