₦airaland Forum

Hmm, I don't want to comment before because I am not married yet but my Conscience won't let me.
Sir, if you will like to hear me... From what you write up here I can say your wife did not have anything to do with the guy yet [you said she has swore with everything] although she might be considering it because you said it yourself she has high sex drive.
One, this is the first time you would notice something like this just try to give her a benefit of doubt but be watchful sir and be prayerful for God to take over your home and if there is anything hidden let it be reveal to you.

I pray God help you

runningriot:
Why? even though it is permissable in law as heat on passion or act of provocation especially immediately they are cought in the action! Bro don't ever fight anybody because of your girlfriend or wife it will bring you down from your cassock of reputation and make you look like a simp! Which will excerbate the situation because naturally, biologically and psychological women especially don't love simps the best to do is to decimate and decapitated the problem by facing your wife she owns her body and her life and in turn you own her. I will advocate that you don't even beat her use total passive aggressive behavior to drill and deal with her first before throwing her away from your house if this story is true and you find out she is cheating.

im not implying he should go fight but you have to confront the man face to face and let him know to back out..No be girlfriend but wife,this is what got a guy killed in my area..The husband constantly warned the guy but he didn’t listen until he was gunned down at home..

Nealson:
Hmm, I don't want to comment before because I am not married yet but my Conscience won't let me.
Sir, if you will like to hear me... From what you write up here I can say your wife did not have anything to do with the guy yet [you said she has swore with everything] although she might be considering it because you said it yourself she has high sex drive.
One, this is the first time you would notice something like this just try to give her a benefit of doubt but be watchful sir and be prayerful for God to take over your home and if there is anything hidden let it be reveal to you.
I pray God help you

Stop lying to him about a god supposedly helping him because you pay or something along those lines.

A woman having a higher sex drive than the man she is married to does not make her a monster or a deviant. She was able to hold off on sex, something OP clearly was not able to himself, until after marriage. But then, what else can one expect from even you religious folks who are convinced in your own minds that your thoiughts are justified by your little gods there. 🙄🙄🙄🙄

If you catch her red handed, send her packing to her father's house.

Enough of this simp behavior in 2025.

Dzzzz:
im not implying he should go fight but you have to confront the man face to face and let him know to back out..No be girlfriend but wife,this is what got a guy killed in my area..The husband constantly warned the guy but he didn’t listen until he was gunned down at home..

You don't have to do any such since anything that goes wrong, OP might end up in jail for. He has no business confronting the man on any grounds.

jetson06:
➜If you catch her red handed, send her packing to her father's house. Enough of this simp behavior in 2025.

Will they ever listen or learn? 🙄🙄🙄

Xso666:
She has sworn with everything that she didn’t do anything with the guy. We promised not to involve 3rd party in our relationship but at this point I am thinking of doing that which is why I came here to seek advice and not to act based on emotions because I love my wife so much

Oga, your wife has knacked that guy. It's as simple as that!

You cannot put banana in the mouth of a monkey 🐒🐵 and expect the monkey not to eat it.

The thing is, your wife has already started exploring other diccks and there's absolutely nothing you can do to stop it. Tomorrow she'll taste another big one.

Kobojunkie:
You don't have to do any such since anything that goes wrong, OP might end up in jail for. He has no business confronting the man on any grounds.

I no say make him go kill person ooo😂..It’s not like this is all hearsay but seesay,he saw both of them at night walking home from who knows..

Kobojunkie:
Stop lying to him about a god supposedly helping him because you pay or something along those lines.

A woman having a higher sex drive than the man she is married to does not make her a monster or a deviant. She was able to hold off on sex, something OP clearly was not able to himself, until after marriage. But then, what else can one expect from even you religious folks who are convinced in your own minds that your thoiughts are justified by your little gods there. 🙄🙄🙄🙄

Ah I am not lying to Op, am just telling him my mind that's why I said I pray God help him. Wait a minute, sir are you saying God doesn't exist or you choose not to believe in him?

FRANCISTOWN:
Why did you have to put "My Virgin wife"?

Your wife is your wife, the virginity was not needed if you weren't trying to push an agenda.

An evil person is an evil person whether they are virgins or not.


Lemme say something quickly about people who push the virgin propaganda.

They say, being virgin is not enough. Character is very important.


Yes character is very important but virginity or non virginity does not change a lady 's character.

An uncultured, unlucky and disrespectful virgin lady will still be uncultured, unlucky and disrespectful when she becomes a non virgin, therefore choose virgin.

At least it shows she's disciplined and virtuous.


A homely, submissive, disciplined and respectful virgin girl will be homely, submissive, disciplined and respectful when she becomes non-virgin.


There are non virgin girls with some good qualities likewise there are virgin girls with good qualities. Therefore, virginity still wins.

There are non virgin girls with really bad qualities and there are also virgins with bad qualities. Virginity still wins.

The fact that your wife is a virgin shows she has discipline to an extent. She's not entirely evil.

The virginity is needed so the little nairaland boys thinking virginity is all that sustains marriage will learn.

All this talk about being Virgin is all ruse, Doctors can bring back your virginity with proper surgery, so stop stressing yourself if your wife is a Virgin. they manipulate it these days.

since she has given birth, talk to her and tell her the implications of what she has done. send her to her parents to tell them what she did, so that you can have evidence to use in the future.

Bro,if I will advise, it's better u pretend like nothing really happened, since she said nothing has happened just take it that way, let it slide, it's better for your mental health & emotional wellbeing.

But make her understand that it's a no go area, she should put a stop to it, & also go & warn that dude to stay off. Manage the situation maturely.
But if you catch her repeat same thing, take decisive action against her.

Xso666:
Hello nairalanders, I am new to this forum and I was introduced by a friend of mine to this forum to seek advice on how to go about my marital issue.

Here is the problem, I married my wife a virgin and as at that time she was almost done with schooling as I met her when I went to stay with a friend around her school area. So we connected and then I told her I had interest in her and I would like for us to be in a relationship so she agreed and we started dating.

Fast forward to 2024 she was done with school so I went to pay her bride price and then brought her over to Lagos where I stay and then we started living together as husband and wife.

Everything has been moving fine after I disvirgined my wife and I felt like I was the luckiest man on earth and I feel like I already made it in life because I believe as a man if you get a good wife then you have solved 80% of your problem the remaining 20% will be making money to sustain the family.

So of lately I notice my virgin wife became so addicted to sex that she barely can’t go a day without sex and I am ready to give it to her any day any time.

So I traveled for work sometimes around feb 2025 and I stayed 2 weeks over there so when I came back I decided to take a stroll with my wife to get something down the street so I noticed as I was getting something she greeted a guy that sells female stuffs in my street so immediately I turned to talk to her she quickly discharged the guy and then they both acted like they were not talking together well I was unbothered because I mean the guy is just a trader doing his business and maybe she bought something from him and so I suspected nothing. Not until I noticed my wife likes going out to get things and she would spend time outside and this is something she doesn’t like doing before so I thought she is getting used to the Lagos life and so she is enjoying herself now and comfortable now in Lagos. I never had any insecurities whatsoever because I don’t believe she could have anything to do with any man since I married her a virgin although I know she has high sexual drive but I still think she can’t do no such thing.

Fast forward to sometimes around June I traveled again but this time somewhere close to where I live so I told her I would be spending a week or more and so I left to work getting there we lodged and waiting for update as regards to why we are here so on the 3rd day the contractor called and said we should all go and come back that the job has been rescheduled till the next month so I decided to go back home that same day since it was not far from where I stay so I tried reaching out to my wife’s number but she wasn’t reachable so I thought her phone was off, so I boarded a bus home to relax and break the news to her only to find my house locked and my wife wasn’t home and her phone was not going through so I managed to open the door using my spare key and then went inside and took my shower then I went to the kitchen but there was no food to eat so I decided to prepare something for us to eat in the house. I tried reaching my wife again and still not reachable and it was getting late already so I was worried and was curious to know what happened to her because she’s not so conversant with areas in Lagos. So I decided to pray and take some wine while I wait to think of my next action.

Suddenly she messaged me and told me she has not been able to charge her phone and there have not been light in the house, so I asked her where she was and she told me she was in the house and then I told her to come on video call I want to show her something I got for her but she told me the ba3 will die that she managed to use this to call me so I know she’s fine well I told her there was no problem and she should do her to make sure the battery don’t die so we can communicate tonight. So I went outside the compound only for me to find my wife coming back that night with this guy that sells female stuffs down the street and she was so shocked to see me at home she shouted immediately saw me and the guy just disappeared from no where.

Till now I don’t just know what to do because I married this woman a virgin but she has turned something else and I don’t know if to tell her parents or handle this like a man within us here although she told me she didn’t do anything with him that he tried to have her but she didn’t but how do I believe that please guys help me move this to front page so I get more suggestions as I am really confused.

Be a gentleman,Try to meet the man you saw her with, become friend with him, have a man -man discussion and ask him questions regarding his relationship with your wife. Make sure you act matured (no frowning, no threatening). The man will be surprised by ur reaction.
He will surely open up and tell you if there has been any intimacy between them. Then you decide what to do. (Note: this might take some times) but at least, it will be worth it at the end.
Because as for me, I can never accept a woman who’s cheated on me.

Xso666:
Hello nairalanders, I am new to this forum and I was introduced by a friend of mine to this forum to seek advice on how to go about my marital issue.

Here is the problem, I married my wife a virgin and as at that time she was almost done with schooling as I met her when I went to stay with a friend around her school area. So we connected and then I told her I had interest in her and I would like for us to be in a relationship so she agreed and we started dating.

Fast forward to 2024 she was done with school so I went to pay her bride price and then brought her over to Lagos where I stay and then we started living together as husband and wife.

Everything has been moving fine after I disvirgined my wife and I felt like I was the luckiest man on earth and I feel like I already made it in life because I believe as a man if you get a good wife then you have solved 80% of your problem the remaining 20% will be making money to sustain the family.

So of lately I notice my virgin wife became so addicted to sex that she barely can’t go a day without sex and I am ready to give it to her any day any time.

So I traveled for work sometimes around feb 2025 and I stayed 2 weeks over there so when I came back I decided to take a stroll with my wife to get something down the street so I noticed as I was getting something she greeted a guy that sells female stuffs in my street so immediately I turned to talk to her she quickly discharged the guy and then they both acted like they were not talking together well I was unbothered because I mean the guy is just a trader doing his business and maybe she bought something from him and so I suspected nothing. Not until I noticed my wife likes going out to get things and she would spend time outside and this is something she doesn’t like doing before so I thought she is getting used to the Lagos life and so she is enjoying herself now and comfortable now in Lagos. I never had any insecurities whatsoever because I don’t believe she could have anything to do with any man since I married her a virgin although I know she has high sexual drive but I still think she can’t do no such thing.

Fast forward to sometimes around June I traveled again but this time somewhere close to where I live so I told her I would be spending a week or more and so I left to work getting there we lodged and waiting for update as regards to why we are here so on the 3rd day the contractor called and said we should all go and come back that the job has been rescheduled till the next month so I decided to go back home that same day since it was not far from where I stay so I tried reaching out to my wife’s number but she wasn’t reachable so I thought her phone was off, so I boarded a bus home to relax and break the news to her only to find my house locked and my wife wasn’t home and her phone was not going through so I managed to open the door using my spare key and then went inside and took my shower then I went to the kitchen but there was no food to eat so I decided to prepare something for us to eat in the house. I tried reaching my wife again and still not reachable and it was getting late already so I was worried and was curious to know what happened to her because she’s not so conversant with areas in Lagos. So I decided to pray and take some wine while I wait to think of my next action.

Suddenly she messaged me and told me she has not been able to charge her phone and there have not been light in the house, so I asked her where she was and she told me she was in the house and then I told her to come on video call I want to show her something I got for her but she told me the ba3 will die that she managed to use this to call me so I know she’s fine well I told her there was no problem and she should do her to make sure the battery don’t die so we can communicate tonight. So I went outside the compound only for me to find my wife coming back that night with this guy that sells female stuffs down the street and she was so shocked to see me at home she shouted immediately saw me and the guy just disappeared from no where.

Till now I don’t just know what to do because I married this woman a virgin but she has turned something else and I don’t know if to tell her parents or handle this like a man within us here although she told me she didn’t do anything with him that he tried to have her but she didn’t but how do I believe that please guys help me move this to front page so I get more suggestions as I am really confused.

Viginity is different from character and good upbringing.

It's different from homely.

Just pray the guy kpola is not bigger than urs, back to ur story they planned spending a night together at ur place but u are not smart enough to see the hand writing on the wall,

Fantazy:
➜Be a gentleman,Try to meet the man you saw her with, become friend with him, have a man -man discussion and ask him questions regarding his relationship with your wife. Make sure you act matured (no frowning, no threatening). The man will be surprised by ur reaction.
➜He will surely open up and tell you if there has been any intimacy between them. Then you decide what to do. (Note: this might take some times) but at least, it will be worth it at the end. Because as for me, I can never accept a woman who’s cheated on me.

Una no dey learn! If the man provokes OP with lies, and then OP in rage, kills the man, na you go handle the issue? The man has no contracts with OP so, stop urging him to go see him.

2. Your kind na free comedy show for the rest of us. Your statements remind me of a story I read some time ago of a pastor whose best friend was boinking his wife. The pastor died without ever learning the truth. Throughout all of that time, however, he kept preaching to his followers — many of them realized it, I am sure— that he married his wife, a virgin and woman of virtue. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

opeldavid:
➜Bro,if I will advise, it's better u pretend like nothing really happened, since she said nothing has happened just take it that way, let it slide, it's better for your mental health & emotional wellbeing.
➜ But make her understand that it's a no go area, she should put a stop to it, & also go & warn that dude to stay off. Manage the situation maturely.
➜ But if you catch her repeat same thing, take decisive action against her.

Pretend until he can no longer hold it in and maybe end up killing the woman? OP is convinced she did it, even with the woman saying she didn't, implying all trust he has for her is out the window, though he continues to claim by mouth that he loves her.

2. She is not his child but his wife/partner/equal. Giving your significant other ultimatums is a surefire way of guaranteeing the end of peace for yourself.

3. It is better for couples to hash things out, preferably with the aid of a professional marriage counselor, than not to.

Bro to bro I will tell you the truth and the truth is bitter..
You said something that you went to the street with her sometimes to buy something and she was having a communication with the guy and they pretended when u turned” and the same guy is who she was with all the days u weren’t around, and the moment he saw u he vanished. Bro truth is bitter your wife has been violated. Be careful as not to father another man’s child. She lied to you that the guy is disturbing her and she has not agreed but she was with him and lied to u that her battery was flat..bro use your tongue to count your teeth…the truth is starring at you in the face.

Op thought marrying a virgin has solved 80% of marital issues.

Sense will not kee us o

What prove do you want again?
The guy is banging your wifey case closed.

Nealson:
➜Ah I am not lying to Op, am just telling him my mind that's why I said I pray God help him. Wait a minute, sir are you saying God doesn't exist or you choose not to believe in him?

With over 4000 different religions out there, there are over 4000 different deities as well. Do you know OP personally to you would insist that your prayer will cause your personal deity, and not his very own deity, would help him, if at all any helps?

OluwatobiJoshua:
Adds up to my previous response. Don't expect love from a lady, a lady can't truly love you, a woman only loves a child but a lady can respect you, infact in any relationship you should demand respect. ...

Can a man truly love a woman? Should a man expect to receive what he is himself not able to give in return?

@ Xso666, please suggest to your wife that she go out and get a job as soon as possible. You said she finished school, meaning she is not uneducated. The Nigerian economy is hard, and who knows if the two of you will eventually need to break up from all of this. You claim you love her, so please advise her to begin working out her own life at this point. She is young and has a long way to go in life. She needs to have work to keep her busy and involved in other things while you are out or working too.

Also, in case something happens and you are no longer able to provide for the kids you both plan to have, she should be able to at least feed and house her kids. She needs to get a job and get her life shaped, beginning now that age is still on her side.

Her character is her character....nothing to do with virginity

kenn4rill:
I wish you well in your search for a virgin wife above character.

I wish you well in your search for boreholes with character.

nnamdi640:
The whole thing still fall back to individual way of life, virgin is not a criteria of a good wife, but, it is better than marrying a bed to bed midfielder, a lady that has altered her DNA by sleeping with multiple men.

Which one is "bed to bed" midfielder again. Una no go kill me for this forum 🤣.
But, on a very serious note, I'm not saying she should be "community service" type. Men should concentrate more on character.

FRANCISTOWN:
Why did you have to put "My Virgin wife"?

Your wife is your wife, the virginity was not needed if you weren't trying to push an agenda.

An evil person is an evil person whether they are virgins or not.


Lemme say something quickly about people who push the virgin propaganda.

They say, being virgin is not enough. Character is very important.


Yes character is very important but virginity or non virginity does not change a lady 's character.

An uncultured, unlucky and disrespectful virgin lady will still be uncultured, unlucky and disrespectful when she becomes a non virgin, therefore choose virgin.

At least it shows she's disciplined and virtuous.


A homely, submissive, disciplined and respectful virgin girl will be homely, submissive, disciplined and respectful when she becomes non-virgin.


There are non virgin girls with some good qualities likewise there are virgin girls with good qualities. Therefore, virginity still wins.

There are non virgin girls with really bad qualities and there are also virgins with bad qualities. Virginity still wins.

The fact that your wife is a virgin shows she has discipline to an extent. She's not entirely evil.

I'm sorry to disappoint u but in this scenario virginity means nothing and in the case loses.

Character over virginity.

The op thought he win the lottery but that was not the case.

A virgin I'm the village cannot be compared to a virgin in the city where there are all kinds of temptations.

That cloth guy has fvcked his wife more times than him by now. Congrats to virginity.

I think you should have attempted to go through her phone in case of suspicious chats with the so called clothes seller. Secondly, be deliberate about monitoring her so as to know if she does visit the guy. Meanwhile, now that it's obvious she's lying, then her hands are not entirely clean regarding the issue at hand. Involve her family members (especially her parents if they are alive and or her mature siblings) as soon as you can. They are not 3rd party.

shadeyinka2:
Lies!

A lady who kept herself for the first 23 years of her life will not suddenly turn promiscuous after marriage.

True talk ooo, seriously speaking this what am also thinking. She has been in the game for long and have masked herself with the virgin stuff just to deceive her unsuspecting husband to believe what she was not.


Its a game!


How would she just turn promiscuous in just a week or two? And even lied to her husband that she was in the house even when she's absent even saying its battery issues and so on. She has mastered the game.

If truly she is a virgin, she should have been reserved, homely and so on..there are virtues that goes with it.

She doesn't even display any of those virtues.

jaxxy:
➜I'm sorry to disappoint u but in this scenario virginity means nothing and in the case loses. Character over virginity. The op thought he win the lottery but that was not the case. A virgin I'm the village cannot be compared to a virgin in the city where there are all kinds of temptations. That cloth guy has fvcked his wife more times than him by now. Congrats to virginity.

In what case does virginity mean something? What guarantees does it truly offer those who seek it out(particularly when they could not hold on to theirs)?

I had similar experience, you would'nt have let her know you are suspecting or observing her movement, if she knows you are suspecting her or watching her moves she might likely change her tactics, what you need to do is: 1, pretend as if you are not suspecting or watching her, then you find out somethings 2, Get close to the guy that sells things and disguise your conversation with him, he might likely tell you shocking things you never expect. Women are smart while Men are technically Clever, I will update you more if need be, good luck, and apply wisdom bro....