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Men, Learn To Cook – It's A Survival Skill, Not A Gender Role - Family (4) - Nairaland

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Re: Men, Learn To Cook – It's A Survival Skill, Not A Gender Role by Nnamdipapa(op): 9:33am On Aug 07, 2025
Lovelydaisies:
It's a great skill learning to cook as it can be useful in a number of ways.

But such men shouldn't despise other people's cooking, just because they're great cooks.

Hubby is a good cook but very picky. He doesn't eat everything I make for one reason or the other. I'm learning to live with it and keep making those meals for myself and the kids.

Not that I'm terrible myself at cooking, but he being a good cook, makes him picky about what he eats, even though it's from me or anyone else, and often having something to say about my cooking...

Once again, it's nice when a man can cook, but sometimes just accept the fact that people cook in their own way too and try to eat what you are offered, especially from family and friends. And appreciate the cooking.

Well, nuff said.
I agree , the problem is I have been picky wiith food even with my mon and àll my sisters know this. I would rather starve than eat an improperly prepped food. Problem is my wife always wants to eat from my food
Re: Men, Learn To Cook – It's A Survival Skill, Not A Gender Role by Salowise: 9:40am On Aug 07, 2025
Nnamdipapa:
Aslo, food is a way to exert control over others, the control is gone when I could make my own food.
Well i cook on Twitter
Re: Men, Learn To Cook – It's A Survival Skill, Not A Gender Role by Lovelydaisies: 9:57am On Aug 07, 2025
Nnamdipapa:
I agree , the problem is I have been picky wiith food even with my mon and àll my sisters know this. I would rather starve than eat an improperly prepped food. Problem is my wife always wants to eat from my food
Lol. Your write-up is usually funny.
I still don't like 'pickiness' though. I'm also trying to remove that character from my first daughter - she's also a picky eater and can whine about all the foods she eats in a day. Give her five different meals in a day and she might whine about four of them.

Na violence I take dey follow am. I don't like people who select food, and if their parents enable them, they can become a problem to their spouses.
Re: Men, Learn To Cook – It's A Survival Skill, Not A Gender Role by kellexnuel(m):
Cooking is not a survival skill for me, i need extra source of income to supplement the existing one.

If i show the bills i have there now, you might consider editing this post.

Bills are increasing every day, prices of things are increasing and you dey tell me say cooking nah survival skills how nah.
I have a wife, two children and her cousin staying with us.
Re: Men, Learn To Cook – It's A Survival Skill, Not A Gender Role by Tunde25(m): 10:44am On Aug 07, 2025
Bahamas95:
I regard any man who sees cooking as a gender role an î....d.....î.....ò.....t.


I started cooking at the age of 10, likewise my brothers. No woman, I repeat NO WOMAN can do shakara for me when it comes to cooking. My mum and elder sister are caterers so I learnt from both of them.

Last year when my mum was preparing to celebrate her birthday some of her church members volunteered to do the cooking but she told them not to bother that her son (me) can handle it. She told me she saw the shock on their faces, they all marveled after they ate my food. My daughter celebrated her 1st birthday recently and I did the cooking, I just enjoy cooking. If I ain't with my screwdriver the next tool you see me with is a spoon.

Girls threw themselves at me back then in the hostel because of my cooking skills, na discipline make me fit dodge many bullets...... The jealous ones felt intimidated, but I don't care.

The only disadvantage ( I don't know if that's the right word to use) about me knowing how to cook is that I hardly enjoy someone else's food, not even food from eateries. I most times see something to complain about.....My wife perfected her cooking skills in my family/my house.
No matter the way you put it, no matter the condition, the word you used to describe the fellow is rather too strong! While you had the luxury of taking your cross as little as ten year old,most kids had maidens, cooks, servants running errands for them. Even their parents never had any reason for them to know how to cook or take care of themselves!
Re: Men, Learn To Cook – It's A Survival Skill, Not A Gender Role by Bahamas95(m): 11:46am On Aug 07, 2025
Tunde25:
No matter the way you put it, no matter the condition, the word you used to describe the fellow is rather too strong! While you had the luxury of taking your cross as little as ten year old,most kids had maidens, cooks, servants running errands for them.Even their parents never had any reason for them to know how to cook or take care of themselves!
Even if I'm as wealthy as Elon Musk I won't train my children like that.
Re: Men, Learn To Cook – It's A Survival Skill, Not A Gender Role by Love800(m): 12:04pm On Aug 07, 2025
What do you mean by "its additional ways to earn to provide for my family?"
kellexnuel:
Cooking is not a survival skill for me, it's additional ways to earn to provide for my family now.

If i show the bills i have there now, you might consider editing this post.

Bills are increasing every day, prices of things are increasing and you dey tell me say cooking nah survival skills how nah.
I have a wife, two children and her cousin staying with us.
Re: Men, Learn To Cook – It's A Survival Skill, Not A Gender Role by ferhyntorlah(f): 2:59pm On Aug 07, 2025
Double0h7:
There’s nothing more attractive than a man who knows his way around a kitchen! To just sit there with your favourite 🍹, and just watch him at work is an aphrodisiac of the highest order 😍
Well said ma'am!

Very well said.

I find men that cook very very very appealing
Re: Men, Learn To Cook – It's A Survival Skill, Not A Gender Role by ferhyntorlah(f): 3:01pm On Aug 07, 2025
Nnamdipapa:
I tire. I even cook for my teenage daughter who always beg to cook for me. I am very picky when It comes to food and I will never tolerate slight mistake in my food. My mom was always tensed up until I had tasted the food despite the fact we were seven in the family. I would opt to starve than eat a bad food so the motivations to make my own meals.

I have days I ask everyone to relax while I cook, sweep and clean the whole house.
You last paragraph is soothing to read.

GOD bless you greatly sir.
Re: Men, Learn To Cook – It's A Survival Skill, Not A Gender Role by ferhyntorlah(f): 3:03pm On Aug 07, 2025
Chubhie:
There's this new KFC branch that opened shop. I say make I check em out. I was so disappointed with the rice and chicken. I cook better than this! In the philosophy of let thy food be medicine, I knew the food was empty without herbs. Una dey try.
I understand your feeling.

When you're health conscious and know about the benefits of herbs and spices in foods, you can easily pinpoint the not so good ones.
Re: Men, Learn To Cook – It's A Survival Skill, Not A Gender Role by ferhyntorlah(f): 3:09pm On Aug 07, 2025
Nnamdipapa:
I think our culture is responsible for the mentalities of men not needing to know how to cook and emphasizing that as the role is for women. Over time, I have vome to the conclusion that people who cannot cook are either lazy or illiterates.
I have watched Chinese dramas and one thing I have noticed is that the men are usually the ones who cook. The women cook too but it's as if the cooking has been delegated to the men by tradition.

For example, when a Chinese woman or woman married to a Chinese man gives birth, she won't be allowed to do ANYTHING for the next 40 days so her body can rest and recuperate from the 9 month course she just concluded. So, the cooking and cleaning is left for the husband and his relatives to do.

This is a sharp contrast from what we have here.
SMH!
Re: Men, Learn To Cook – It's A Survival Skill, Not A Gender Role by ferhyntorlah(f): 3:10pm On Aug 07, 2025
pocohantas:
Yea, sometimes it is an upbringing problem.
But as you grow, you should be able to advise yourself. If you come to my house, your guest-privilege expires after 3 days. Except you are an elderly or minor (U15), better be ready to fix your food (especially breakfast)and clean after yourself. Else you go chop biscuit and coke tire. 💀💀💀💀
Now, I see why I like you dearly.

We so much reason alike!

Having guests over has no economic benefits to the host.
Re: Men, Learn To Cook – It's A Survival Skill, Not A Gender Role by Nnamdipapa(op): 4:17pm On Aug 07, 2025
ferhyntorlah:
I have watched Chinese dramas and one thing I have noticed is that the men are usually the ones who cook. The women cook too but it's as if the cooking has been delegated to the men by tradition.

For example, when a Chinese woman or woman married to a Chinese man gives birth, she won't be allowed to do ANYTHING for the next 40 days so her body can rest and recuperate from the 9 month course she just concluded. So, the cooking and cleaning is left for the husband and his relatives to do.

This is a sharp contrast from what we have here.
SMH!
You are right it is a very good skill to have. In 2025, we have so much information online with recipes of all food readily available.
I always listen to my audio books while I cook and thus is a strong motivation.
Re: Men, Learn To Cook – It's A Survival Skill, Not A Gender Role by kellexnuel(m): 4:30pm On Aug 07, 2025
Love800:
What do you mean by "its additional ways to earn to provide for my family?"
Extra source of income to supplement the existing one.
Am speaking for myself ohhhhhh. Kudos to all the guys who do that who know how to cook and have time to cook. It's a nice thing.

I know how to cook by the way but i don't the time to do that.
Re: Men, Learn To Cook – It's A Survival Skill, Not A Gender Role by Love800(m): 5:13pm On Aug 07, 2025
As in you meant selling cooked meals to customers to earn a living?
kellexnuel:
Extra source of income to supplement the existing one.
Am speaking for myself ohhhhhh. Kudos to all the guys who do that who know how to cook and have time to cook. It's a nice thing.

I know how to cook by the way but i don't the time to do that.
Re: Men, Learn To Cook – It's A Survival Skill, Not A Gender Role by vanvickie(m): 6:28pm On Aug 07, 2025
Tallesty1:
Do you get? A nice article but he nearly ruined it with that part.

Nearly everything men did in 1985, they’re still doing today, but you don’t see anybody telling them to stop because it’s 2025. Look at marriages, even after divorce, the core things a man provides in marriage, he can still be mandated by court to keep providing for the woman and kids. But nothing binds the woman to do anything for him. It’s crazy.

In my family, everybody cooks. And being the one who stayed in the village longer, I cook local foods better than all of them. Recently, we were in the village for Easter, and I was the one cooking. My brothers were there, their wives too, and my sister, my mother, and others, I was cooking because I love cooking and I trust my own food. But all this talk about 2025 doesn’t move me. Yes, it’s 2025, I can order any food from my phone; heck, I can order both the food and the chef.

Nobody remembers it’s 2025 when we tell men to be the providers and do all the heavy lifting. Recently, because a woman died over ₦500k, the internet was full of “don’t settle for less” and “marry a man that can always cough out a million.” This is coming from a POS attendant that earns ₦15k monthly without any allowance.

Recently in a conversation with one, she said she can't marry a broke guy because she doesn't want to suffer; and I asked why she would suffer because of his brokenness when he isn’t asking for her own money?

Women have all the opportunities that men have, they have the education men had, they can get all the skills men have access to, and for some good reason, it’s even easier for them. But nobody reminds them it's 2025 when they hold back their own money and expect everything to come from the man. Nobody tells them it's 2025 when they're planning their dream weddings without contributing a single kobo.

Na man dey do man las las, NEPO kids dey buy off the whole food in the canteen because they no wan queue while LAPO kids are being told to start cooking because it's 2025. Na money and fellow man dey do man.

I dey live in one beedrom, I marry woman put inside, she no add extra room, na me dey pay the bills but na she settle for less.

Chineke kpọkwa ha ọkụ
Best response... Just apt!
Re: Men, Learn To Cook – It's A Survival Skill, Not A Gender Role by vanvickie(m): 6:29pm On Aug 07, 2025
faithfull18:
Simple, not being able to take care of yourself without external help should be a crime in this age.
Hope this applies to the female gender too that most of them can't cater for their needs and wants without a man in the picture?
Re: Men, Learn To Cook – It's A Survival Skill, Not A Gender Role by vanvickie(m): 6:34pm On Aug 07, 2025
pocohantas:
Where it is established the man has been the primary caregiver even in the marriage thereby allowing the woman more career-time that led to wealth acquisition, the woman would pay spousal support. A few rich(er) women have. Sadly these cases are few because even when the woman is richer, the man doesn't step up to family duties as it emasculates him. Rihanna is richer and she is still the one dragging her children everywhere and men see her as a model wife/mother. Maybe that is why she has refused to marry whatever-his-name-is. She is avoiding stories that touch.


No court in Nigeria mandates a man to keep doing what he does for a woman after marriage. I have not seen or heard of one case. The 30k to 50k Nigerian men are mandated to pay is definitely not what any grown woman uses to take care of herself and 3 kids. Even in America, with the exception of celebrities and the top percentile of men, the money is barely enough to augment given the woman would have to do school run, doctor appointments, sick days, games day...everything alone. If there is mortgage, she still has to pay it off or take a hit to their living condition. So in reality, POST-DIVORCE, these women take up jobs after losing meaningful work years because all the man is mandated to pay is CHILD SUPPORT. Strictly for the kids, no extras.

If my husband would stay at home while I chase my career and side dudes ___I will happily give him 50k/monthly upon divorce for childcare. Then come pickup every other weekend and return to him immediately to sleep by midnight and wakeup early every morning . I have presented him with this option a few times if he thinks I am not doing enough and he never took it. He instead gave me the money. The women guys scare with this talk are lazy and emotional women.

Women's fight for kids with an average man is more of fear, maternal instinct and longterm emotional control, than actual resources.
Emotional control for what exactly?

What abt the man also paying the rent for where the woman and kids stay? Or doesn't that happen?
Re: Men, Learn To Cook – It's A Survival Skill, Not A Gender Role by vanvickie(m): 6:40pm On Aug 07, 2025
dhiqson:
Sir, i don't know if you're conversant with Chris brown or Adin ross
So both guys were on live sometimes this year
A girl entered the live stream
When she saw Chris
She was shocked. She had to ask Adin if that was the actual Chris
And just one response from Chris sent her sprawling
Now what caught my attention was that
She told Chris that.. "she would clean, she can cook and she was open to learning new recipe for him and even when he wanted to HIT he can HIT ANYTIME



What point am i driving at
I'm saying You're very apt sir!



Well I always thank God for my life sha grin
Topics like this back in the day, would rile me up
Would have gotten me all vexed
Till i found out what Men yesteryears enjoyed.



I don't stress myself again
Even talking to ladies and hearing their opinions in issues i don't even
I just observe
Lol
U come to me with that bs of cookin is a survival skill and not want u enjoy doing for ur man
By all means whatever we are doing, it's temporary




Look at one niccur up there calling men idiots
Lol
I grew up in a house where my father cooks
Cooks better than my mom sef. But mumsy no gree o
Mama say make pop dey e own o
Make she leave kitchen for am.. and she got better at it and now i always jokingly tell any girl (they'd spend 2 months with mom to cook her way) cause I'm so stucked on her food


As much as cooking is a survival skil
IT'S GENDER SPECIFIC
Make nobody whine e papa for here
I provide, still come home to cook
Even if you provide so?

Abeg abeg abeg mah enter office before i vex
Thanks for this..

BTW... Cooking isn't a survival skill... Making money and having the money is.

Why must I stress myself to cook when I can easily place and order for same meals and pay or even pay the caterer or chef to come and cook for me right inside my kitchen?

While some people enjoy cooking, others don't, so just because you love or learnt or know how to cook doesn't make other men who don't know how to illiterates or whatnot. Those men also know other basic survival skills that you might not know just like sm1 mentioned.

And yes... I COOK WHEN I FEEL LIKE!
Re: Men, Learn To Cook – It's A Survival Skill, Not A Gender Role by kellexnuel(m): 6:43pm On Aug 07, 2025
vanvickie:
Thanks for this..

BTW... Cooking isn't a survival skill... Making money and having the money is.

Why must I stress myself to cook when I can easily place and order for same meals and pay or even pay the caterer or chef to come and cook for me right inside my kitchen?

While some people enjoy cooking, others don't, so just because you love or learnt or know how to cook doesn't make other men who don't know how to illiterates or whatnot. Those men also know other basic survival skills that you might not know just like sm1 mentioned.

And yes... I COOK WHEN I FEEL LIKE!
👍👍👍👍👍
Re: Men, Learn To Cook – It's A Survival Skill, Not A Gender Role by vanvickie(m): 7:25pm On Aug 07, 2025
Tallesty1:
I’ll cook for my family because my dad did for us and we loved it, honestly, we even craved his meals. But the moment you start telling me, “It’s 2025, so you should be cooking,” that’s where the wahala starts.

My last relationship ended for two reasons.

First, she wanted to know how I would support her career. I asked, “Are you working for yourself or for the household?” She said it doesn’t matter. I told her, If you're working for yourself while I fund all of us, then I don't owe you so much as a ‘how was work today?’. Your job holds no value for the family.

Second, she said she only wants two kids. I told her, “I’m having three.” She said she had already made up her mind and wasn’t ready to mentally accommodate a third. I replied, “The third mustn't come from you.”

There are things I don’t negotiate. It riles me to see men become sissies just because women have conditioned them into becoming the kind of men want as a partner but they’d never want as a brother or a son
This here is a man that knows his worth... Not simps that are indecisive...
Re: Men, Learn To Cook – It's A Survival Skill, Not A Gender Role by emmaodet: 8:01pm On Aug 07, 2025
Tallesty1:
Do you get? A nice article but he nearly ruined it with that part.

Nearly everything men did in 1985, they’re still doing today, but you don’t see anybody telling them to stop because it’s 2025. Look at marriages, even after divorce, the core things a man provides in marriage, he can still be mandated by court to keep providing for the woman and kids. But nothing binds the woman to do anything for him. It’s crazy.

In my family, everybody cooks. And being the one who stayed in the village longer, I cook local foods better than all of them. Recently, we were in the village for Easter, and I was the one cooking. My brothers were there, their wives too, and my sister, my mother, and others, I was cooking because I love cooking and I trust my own food. But all this talk about 2025 doesn’t move me. Yes, it’s 2025, I can order any food from my phone; heck, I can order both the food and the chef.

Nobody remembers it’s 2025 when we tell men to be the providers and do all the heavy lifting. Recently, because a woman died over ₦500k, the internet was full of “don’t settle for less” and “marry a man that can always cough out a million.” This is coming from a POS attendant that earns ₦15k monthly without any allowance.

Recently in a conversation with one, she said she can't marry a broke guy because she doesn't want to suffer; and I asked why she would suffer because of his brokenness when he isn’t asking for her own money?

Women have all the opportunities that men have, they have the education men had, they can get all the skills men have access to, and for some good reason, it’s even easier for them. But nobody reminds them it's 2025 when they hold back their own money and expect everything to come from the man. Nobody tells them it's 2025 when they're planning their dream weddings without contributing a single kobo.

Na man dey do man las las, NEPO kids dey buy off the whole food in the canteen because they no wan queue while LAPO kids are being told to start cooking because it's 2025. Na money and fellow man dey do man.

I dey live in one beedrom, I marry woman put inside, she no add extra room, na me dey pay the bills but na she settle for less.

Chineke kpọkwa ha ọkụ
cheesy cheesy grin grin
Re: Men, Learn To Cook – It's A Survival Skill, Not A Gender Role by galantjoe(m): 9:40pm On Aug 07, 2025
Jman06:
Their agenda is to finally absolve women of all responsibilities and shift all feminine roles to men. Total emasculation of the male gender is the goal of the 21st century feminists and their feminised male supporters aka simps. Serious research works are currently ongoing in laboratories in developed countries on how to transfer the role of bearing pregnancy to men and how to impregnate men to women. Brace up for some crazy 21st century gender roles reversals!
Yes. You re very correct

Looking out how laws protect womenfolk more than male folk for example custody of child after divorce, rape cases, etc

Male folk is an endangered specie

May God he;p us
Re: Men, Learn To Cook – It's A Survival Skill, Not A Gender Role by dollytino4real(f): 12:50am On Aug 09, 2025
femi4:
You too lean how to change tire n do DIY around the house. It's a surviving skill
i dey change generator plug wen good luck Jonathan dey but na things don swellow our gen
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