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Man Laments After His Wife Refused Him To Bring His Sick Mother To Their Home - Family (5) - Nairaland

Nairaland ForumNairaland GeneralFamilyMan Laments After His Wife Refused Him To Bring His Sick Mother To Their Home (15141 Views)

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Re: Man Laments After His Wife Refused Him To Bring His Sick Mother To Their Home by Kobojunkieee: 5:07pm On Aug 19, 2025
xtianchris:
➜A girl child will do the needful.. Male Children hardly look back to their mother highest they can do is to provide funds and look for who to pay to take care. So please try get female daughter... E get why. My mom gave birth to 6 boys no girls .So I'm talking from experience..Left for me I would have adopted but I want my own blood.. Hope you get the message ..My boys are responsible but I always know they have their lives to live. I don't want to be a burden to anyone..So I'm already planning my life. I'm still young though just 33 ..
A girlchild, you say? You people are just wicked to the core is all! undecided

When my grandmother was sick and unable to do much back in the early 2000s— this was before she passed away several years later —, her son, who was unmarried at the time, was the one who cared for her right there in Nigeria. My uncle was in his late 50s at the time this happened. He didn't get married until about 10 years after she had passed. He hired a helper at the time who worked as her caregiver right there in his house. She was the one who stayed with my grandmother 24/7 until the end. undecided

This happened right there in Nigeria. undecided
Re: Man Laments After His Wife Refused Him To Bring His Sick Mother To Their Home by Kobojunkieee: 5:09pm On Aug 19, 2025
xtianchris:
Exactly why atleat a girl child is commendable...
Nonsense! undecided

I bet if your father were the sick one, you would also roll it up as a girl child's responsibility then too. 🙄🙄
Re: Man Laments After His Wife Refused Him To Bring His Sick Mother To Their Home by Kobojunkieee: 5:13pm On Aug 19, 2025
MiddleDimension:
➜At this point, reasonable men need to ask what the point is in getting married, with all the depressing posts we have the misfortune of reading here. Why keep pretending and not wake up to smell the coffee that marriage and the idea of a ''wife'' is not what it use to be and then choose to ditch the institution once and for all?
➜ This is made more pertinent when we see that divorce is everywhere around us today and that the 'wife' is not suppose to be much of a priority to you since the next moment, you can both go your seperate ways?
Marriage has always been an optional investment for both males and females. That you have not realized it at this point in your existence is only a show of your level of maturity and nothing else. undecided

2. Divorce has always been everywhere from the get-go. In 1980, for instance, divorce rates in Plateau State were recorded at about 80%. So, I am not certain why you are of the delusion that divorce is suddenly everywhere only now. undecided
Re: Man Laments After His Wife Refused Him To Bring His Sick Mother To Their Home by xtianchris(m): 5:19pm On Aug 19, 2025
Kobojunkieee:
A girlchild, you say? You people are just wicked to the core is all! undecided

When my grandmother was sick and unable to do much back in the early 2000s— this was before she passed away several years later —, her son, who was unmarried at the time, was the one who cared for her right there in Nigeria. My uncle was in his late 50s at the time this happened. He didn't get married until about 10 years after she had passed. He hired a helper at the time who worked as her caregiver right there in his house. She was the one who stayed with my grandmother 24/7 until the end. undecided

This happened right there in Nigeria. undecided
Please read again and use the bolded word and count your teeth...
Re: Man Laments After His Wife Refused Him To Bring His Sick Mother To Their Home by bolademi(m): 5:22pm On Aug 19, 2025
Kobojunkie:
It is one thing to have your mother visit as a guest for a day or two, but having her over on a longstay or worse, because she is sick, then you need to be upfront and better negotiate her stay and care with your marriage partner. undecided

Does the man and his wife have space for her during her stay? Will the man be responsible for his mother's care throughout her stay, or is this a ploy to bring in another human burden for his wife to have to deal with? Conversely, the man can easily send his mother to a care home or something where she would be better cared for. undecided
Calm down let her stay in ur sister place and when her own people too want to come stop them from coming. Simple
Re: Man Laments After His Wife Refused Him To Bring His Sick Mother To Their Home by xtianchris(m): 5:25pm On Aug 19, 2025
Kobojunkieee:
Nonsense! undecided

I bet if your father were the sick one, you would also roll it up as a girl child's responsibility then too. 🙄🙄
Why are you bittered. I still stand by my word. I bet you can even resign I leave your Job as a provider of your family to take care of your sick Daddy. If you like no go get girl child na oyo be your name .. Your sons have their own responsibility. They can only provide a care giver . I have sat with Men matured men and discussed about family I can authoritatively most of them all say their daughters look out for them ..I BET YOU Don't have your Family.
If you don't you won't say trash. ..Don't forget to get a female child or adopt . If not you go suffer for Naija ..
Re: Man Laments After His Wife Refused Him To Bring His Sick Mother To Their Home by xtianchris(m): 5:26pm On Aug 19, 2025
bolademi:
Calm down let her stay in ur sister place and when her own people too want to come stop them from coming. Simple
Leave that man he doesn't have a family of his own. .You just said simple Truth
Re: Man Laments After His Wife Refused Him To Bring His Sick Mother To Their Home by AMI3(m): 5:30pm On Aug 19, 2025
IamMobisola:
According to the story, it is the husband's mother that is sick right? The question is, why can't the husband take care of his OWN MOTHER by HIMSELF without shifting the responsibility to his wife who still has her own parents to take care of.

Parents give birth so their children can take care of them when they grow old, not someone else's child.
Please go back and read that screenshot again.
The guy said he wants to bring his sick mother to his house to care for her. Not the wife to care for her.
What does it takes to care for and elderly person?

Someday the wife will get old and need somebody to care for her.

Caring for such a person suppose to be a collective responsibility.
His wife suppose to see her mother in law as her mother.
Re: Man Laments After His Wife Refused Him To Bring His Sick Mother To Their Home by pocohantas(f): 5:41pm On Aug 19, 2025
xtianchris:
Why are you bittered. I still stand by my word. I bet you can even resign I leave your Job as a provider of your family to take care of your sick Daddy. If you like no go get girl child na oyo be your name .. Your sons have their own responsibility. They can only provide a care giver . I have sat with Men matured men and discussed about family I can authoritatively most of them all say their daughters look out for them ..I BET YOU Don't have your Family.
If you don't you won't say trash. ..Don't forget to get a female child or adopt . If not you go suffer for Naija ..
Many daughters are not jobless.
Definitely not in 2025. We are not on earth to keep tending to everyone. From kids to our parents and now in-laws. Even husband wants us younger so we can look after him when he is old. It is actually exhausting and leads to a range of emotions in middle-aged women. Men should learn to be caregivers. It is not beneath them. I work and still look out for my parents. I fail to see one reason a man cannot do it too.
Re: Man Laments After His Wife Refused Him To Bring His Sick Mother To Their Home by chuks212: 5:46pm On Aug 19, 2025
grin
Mabuggi88:
Who be this one
Re: Man Laments After His Wife Refused Him To Bring His Sick Mother To Their Home by descarado: 5:48pm On Aug 19, 2025
Acidosis:
The permission of whoever will take care of your mother needs to be sought. If you have never taken care of an elderly man or woman, feeding them, making them their favourite meals, engaging them in small talks, or even changing diapers, and so on, you should calm down and learn. Even if you are going to employ a maid and pay them, you still need to be patient; otherwise, you may come home one day and find your parent halfway gone to the world beyond. No be by gra gra or cho cho cho.

Imagine someone who spends almost his entire day in the office raising shoulders 😂 The first step to prove this so called love for your mother would be to resign and spend at least 80% of your time with them. Anybody with an extra room and bed can invite whoever. Lol. It is insanity to think and demand that another person do your job for you because you married them with yam, coconut, and a keg of palm wine.
Acid, na man wey get wisdom you be kiss

The reason our granny( not related but we call her granny cos she is more like a family to us) is with her daughter here than her son in Nigeria cos her daughter will take care of her more than her daughter in law. She sulks and sulks, her daughter will look at her and just laugh. Can a daughter inlaw do that.
Re: Man Laments After His Wife Refused Him To Bring His Sick Mother To Their Home by Kobojunkie: 5:52pm On Aug 19, 2025
bolademi:
➜Calm down let her stay in ur sister place and when her own people too want to come stop them from coming. Simple
Because you assume the unemployed sister has a place for her to stay, right? huh
Re: Man Laments After His Wife Refused Him To Bring His Sick Mother To Their Home by fairchuks: 5:54pm On Aug 19, 2025
Some men are stupid…
Re: Man Laments After His Wife Refused Him To Bring His Sick Mother To Their Home by Kobojunkie: 5:55pm On Aug 19, 2025
xtianchris:
➜Why are you bittered. I still stand by my word. I bet you can even resign I leave your Job as a provider of your family to take care of your sick Daddy. If you like no go get girl child na oyo be your name .. Your sons have their own responsibility. They can only provide a care giver . I have sat with Men matured men and discussed about family I can authoritatively most of them all say their daughters look out for them ..I BET YOU Don't have your Family.
If you don't you won't say trash. ..Don't forget to get a female child or adopt . If not you go suffer for Naija ..
This comment of yours is nonsensical at best. undecided
Re: Man Laments After His Wife Refused Him To Bring His Sick Mother To Their Home by descarado: 5:55pm On Aug 19, 2025
pocohantas:
Many daughters are not jobless.
Definitely not in 2025. We are not on earth to keep tending to everyone. From kids to our parents and now in-laws. It is actually exhausting and leads to a range of emotions in middle-aged women. Men should learn to be caregivers. It is not beneath them. I work and still look out for my parents. I fail to see one reason a man cannot do it too.
Love the ladies of today. What happened to their mothers na big lesson. No one is gonna put up with that anymore.

When my father in law came to my house reluctantly, he came with his personal assistant. Guy was helping in the house too. I just put to bed. Hubby that I see only in the evening. I maximised it to fullest and ended up with good deal grin. He do not have a daughter so I'm the only woman in the family.
I learnt a lot from those around me. Ain't nobody making a slave out of me.
Re: Man Laments After His Wife Refused Him To Bring His Sick Mother To Their Home by Tony609(m): 5:56pm On Aug 19, 2025
For what in my own house.
I didn't joke with my family, my wife knows it, especially my mum.
Kobojunkie:
Because you assume the unemployed sister has a place for her to stay, right? huh
Kobojunkie:
Because you assume the unemployed sister has a place for her to stay, right? huh
EmperorIsaac:
He should get a house for his mum, employ a maid for her, and move there for as long as the mother lives or until she recovers. I don't have time for useless women.
Re: Man Laments After His Wife Refused Him To Bring His Sick Mother To Their Home by Kobojunkie: 5:57pm On Aug 19, 2025
xtianchris:
Please read again and use the bolded word and count your teeth...
I see you are not able to reason outside of the box that you were raised in. I will choose to walk away at this point in time. undecided
Re: Man Laments After His Wife Refused Him To Bring His Sick Mother To Their Home by Kobojunkie: 5:58pm On Aug 19, 2025
Tony609:
➜For what in my own house. I didn't joke with my family, my wife knows it, especially my mum.
. If you still refer to that house as your own house in marriage, then you are not married. As for the woman pretending to be married to you, my advice to her would be that she put a huge distance between her and you — she should run away like her life depends on it. Because the day you decide to kick her out yourself— along with any children she has had with you in that charade—, she is likely going to have to start life afresh with nothing to her name at that point in her life. undecided
Re: Man Laments After His Wife Refused Him To Bring His Sick Mother To Their Home by descarado: 5:59pm On Aug 19, 2025
Kobojunkieee:
Marriage has always been an optional investment for both males and females. That you have not realized it at this point in your existence is only a show of your level of maturity and nothing else. undecided

2. Divorce has always been everywhere from the get-go. In 1980, for instance, divorce rates in Plateau State were recorded at about 80%. So, I am not certain why you are of the delusion that divorce is suddenly everywhere only now. undecided
The truth that is very hard for millions of Nigerians to swallow
Re: Man Laments After His Wife Refused Him To Bring His Sick Mother To Their Home by pocohantas(f): 6:05pm On Aug 19, 2025
descarado:
Love the ladies of today. What happened to their mothers na big lesson. No one is gonna put up with that anymore.

When my father in law came to my house reluctantly, he came with his personal assistant. Guy was helping in the house too. I just put to bed. Hubby that I see only in the evening. I maximised it to fullest and ended up with good deal grin. He do not have a daughter so I'm the only woman in the family.
I learnt a lot from those around me. Ain't nobody making a slave out of me.
See the way he is saying have a girl child. Some will tell you to born girl first, so she can help you with the others. Yesterday I had to ask my dad, do you people even ask if I need support too? Abi I no be human being?

The same daughters they think are inferior to boys should be caregivers __unpaid caregivers. After we are done looking after kids, we look after our parents, then wait for our husbands to get old too and look after him. All this for them to turn angry tigers at the mention of alimony. Mtcheeew.
Re: Man Laments After His Wife Refused Him To Bring His Sick Mother To Their Home by descarado: 6:06pm On Aug 19, 2025
InvertedHammer:
/
At old age, you can only count on your daughter(s) for care.

If capable, a son may only provide financial assistance.

/
Its even a prayer in my place. Parents want to stay with their daughters more. There are things the daughters can do and get free but daughter inlaw dare not. Brother should provide financial support with his wife.

If he love the mum so much hire a help specifically for the mum to help the daughter. She will appreciate it.
As if to say he will enter kitchen and cook for his mum or clean her up. Still fall on someone's daughter.
Re: Man Laments After His Wife Refused Him To Bring His Sick Mother To Their Home by nurusystem(m): 6:14pm On Aug 19, 2025
tanigororo:
I no understand, so he need her permission to bring his own mother to his own house.
Make she go her Papa house if she doesn't want the responsibility.
God Bless you
Re: Man Laments After His Wife Refused Him To Bring His Sick Mother To Their Home by descarado: 6:15pm On Aug 19, 2025
pocohantas:
See the way he is saying have a girl child. Some will tell you to born girl first, so she can help you with the others. Yesterday I had to ask my dad, do you people even ask if I need support too? Abi I no be human being?

The same daughters they think are inferior to boys should be caregivers __unpaid caregivers. After we are done looking after kids, we look after our parents, then wait for our husbands to get old too and look after him. All this for them to turn angry tigers at the mention of alimony. Mtcheeew.
You don't vex cheesy cheesy cheesy cheesy cheesy.

One of my cousins. A highly patriarchal man and mama's boy did this. Mum came to stay with them when sick and made their house hell on earth. Her first daughter who happens to be in the same city has to come and bundle her to her house. No pim. She behaved herself. At a point this guy got his senses back and after his cross posting, he bought a house for his family in uk and went back alone. That my aunt was terror.
Worst than mama G. Even her children dey fear her.
She wanted to come for my first child omugwo as my mama no dey, I said aunty, no, thank you. I will manage cheesy

Who knows if this woman here na mama G type grin
Re: Man Laments After His Wife Refused Him To Bring His Sick Mother To Their Home by nurusystem(m): 6:15pm On Aug 19, 2025
Running for My mumy responsibility
Re: Man Laments After His Wife Refused Him To Bring His Sick Mother To Their Home by bigpaul84: 6:39pm On Aug 19, 2025
If the reverse is the case will the wife say No?
quote author=Chilipepper post=136501648]What happened to the husband's sisters? If the man is not married, who will take care of the mum?

And to your comment, a reasonable man know that in situations like this, he needs 100% permission from his wife because who will be taking care of the mum? Is not the same wife? abeg try dey reason somethings well before you talk am out.[/quote]
Re: Man Laments After His Wife Refused Him To Bring His Sick Mother To Their Home by xtianchris(m): 6:46pm On Aug 19, 2025
pocohantas:
Many daughters are not jobless.
Definitely not in 2025. We are not on earth to keep tending to everyone. From kids to our parents and now in-laws. Even husband wants us younger so we can look after him when he is old. It is actually exhausting and leads to a range of emotions in middle-aged women. Men should learn to be caregivers. It is not beneath them[b]. I work and still look out for my parents. I fail to see one reason a man cannot do it too.[/b]
you all missing my point...I Still stand Girls are indeed helpers.. Boys to some extent... I stand by that I say.
Re: Man Laments After His Wife Refused Him To Bring His Sick Mother To Their Home by pocohantas(f): 6:48pm On Aug 19, 2025
xtianchris:
you all missing my point...I Still stand Girls are indeed helpers.. Boys to some extent... I stand by that I say.
I didn't ask you not to stand by what you say. I said you should learn to care for your own parents. It is not rocket science.
Re: Man Laments After His Wife Refused Him To Bring His Sick Mother To Their Home by Blackdisciple(m): 7:39pm On Aug 19, 2025
That's it is said that try to marry a partner that has compassion simple....

That type of your wife go kee another person pikin as long as the pikin is not hers
Re: Man Laments After His Wife Refused Him To Bring His Sick Mother To Their Home by xtianchris(m): 7:44pm On Aug 19, 2025
pocohantas:
I didn't ask you not to stand by what you say. I said you should learn to care for your own parents. It is not rocket science.
I currently taking care of my parents as I'm the only one with them for now. I know what it takes as a man do to so. .Female more better. . Feminine energy...JUST LIKE what you said about taking care. I have sat with matured men of age. Man go far away for the parents to build his own family and home (house hold )

Women still remember home .
..
Re: Man Laments After His Wife Refused Him To Bring His Sick Mother To Their Home by xtianchris(m): 7:50pm On Aug 19, 2025
Kobojunkie:
I see you are not able to reason outside of the box that you were raised in. I will choose to walk away at this point in time. undecided
If you have a kids you would know what I'm talking about. Stop whining men.. When men talk you listen... Discipline is expensive and not for everyone is a gift it came from above.. You cant force discipline is a Gift for God. If you don't have it forget about it ..
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