₦airaland Forum

Lol…the things we bother ourselves with sha.

Lonely for life kwa?

Marriage is beautiful and it should happen in its time—-all the reasons I see is why we put singles under pressure.

There are married couples without kids and there are married couples with kids who haven’t set eyes on their kids in decades. They are all grown and have left home.

So kindly reassess your definition of lonely for life as a single.

quote author=Bahamas95 post=136520159]What's satanic about that advice?

So you prefer them to remain childless for life after hitting menopause while waiting for a prince charming that never showed up?.......You must be joking.


...................................................................................

For those who made a mistake listening to this kinda advice in the past and have been hit by menopause I advice they adopt a child. (If you have good heart to take care of children that ain't biologically yours)

It's better than remaining childless/lonely for life.[/quote]

Bahamas95:
➜What's satanic about that advice?
➜ So you prefer them to remain childless for life after hitting menopause while waiting for a prince charming that never showed up?.......You must be joking.
➜For those who made a mistake listening to this kinda advice in the past and have been hit by menopause I advice they adopt a child. (If you have good heart to take care of children that ain't biologically yours)
➜ It's better than remaining childless/lonely for life.

1. Your advice which comes from a place of manipulation/control, has absolutely nothing to do with why many women would rather remain childfree, and others unmarried at that.

2. During your grandmother's time, over 25% of men and women in your same society lived and died single and mostly childfree. There have always been among us humans who have chosen to stay away from the norms to live life a different way for various reasons. They have always existed. Check your classmates, for example, about 25% of those you graduated high school with will go on to never marry or even have kids of their own.

Also, menopause, celebrated as a relief for women as they do not have to worry about unwanted pregnancies after that point in time.

But I guess awareness is still needed to educate individuals such as yourself on these facts. So, you realize your advice is both useless and unneeded. even at this time.

3. Again, your advice is unnecessary as many Nigerians go on to live out their old age and die single and unmarried; some have their final situations taken care of by the government or siblings, etc.

4. False information! Child-free life is not associated with loneliness. Rather, research has it that many of the lonely individuals out there are people who were at least married once or those who have children.

Results: Results of multivariate analyses show no significant, direct effect of childlessness, though a marginally significant effect appears for women. However, small but significant differences are observed within a typology combining marital and parental statuses. Widowed men and women report higher levels of loneliness and depression than married parents regardless of parental status. Divorced parents are also significantly more vulnerable. The subjective well-being of never married, childless men and women is indistinguishable from that of their married peers.

Discussion: The results confirm earlier studies, indicating that childlessness is not necessarily linked with diminished subjective well-being among older adults. However, marital status represents an important context within which to understand and evaluate the experience of parental status.

https://doi.org/10.1093/geronb/53b.6.s303

43Ronin:
➜I know of a banker friend whose was dicking his female area manager. One day she asked him to stop using condom that she wants a child as she doesn't want to be old, lonely & frustrated. They agreed and got her pregnant. But immediately she gave birth she orchestrated his transfer to another region entirely. Stopped the man from seeing his child untill the thing reach court & court said it was illegal for the woman to deny the man his child too.
➜ So you can never trust naija women.

Your story no add up at all?

The woman said she wanted the baby, not the man. He was meant to be a sperm donor and nothing more. Yet he wanted to be part of the baby's life, why? Seems her mistake was not using a sperm bank instead.

2. Trust women with what? From your story, it seems she tried to use the man as a workaround for visiting a sperm bank, and it backfired. What does trust have to do with it?

Blasphemy of the highest order. Which Bible ever referenced that the Holy Spirit slept with Mary? Are you high or something?

In the Bible, the conception of Jesus was a miracle, not a physical union. Luke 1:34–35 explains it clearly:

Mary asked the angel, “How will this be, since I am a virgin?”

The angel answered, “The Holy Spirit will come upon you, and the power of the Most High will overshadow you; therefore the child to be born will be called holy—the Son of God.”

This means:

“The Holy Spirit will come upon you” → God’s Spirit would act in her life.

“The power of the Most High will overshadow you” → God’s creative power, not human intimacy, brought about the conception.

Virgin birth → Mary remained a virgin; no sexual act took place.

So, Jesus’ conception was a divine act of creation, just as God spoke the universe into existence. It was not sexual.

geoworldedu:
You didn't understand the story. Check Google, check online, read your Bible, Joseph hasn't married Mary before Holy Spirit slept with her and impregnated her.
His mother Mary was engaged to marry Joseph, but before they married, she learned she was pregnant by the power of the Holy Spirit. Because Mary's husband, Joseph, was a good man, he did not want to disgrace her in public, so he planned to divorce her secretly.

Bendeco02:
➜@ Op you're wrong. Not all women will marry, take note of that. Expecially southern/christian women.
➜Women are more than men in number. Even if all men marries three women each, women will still remain.
➜ This is the reality some of them failed to know. Instead they are busy imagining the kind of man they need while they are more in market.
➜ They need rich and handsome men of their spec. Even if you're their spec and not rich, they will still reject you. Howmany men are rich and handsome? That's less than 20% of Nigeria men population. When they are more in number than the total number of men both ugly/poor and rich men combined

1. See Storyland!

2. False information! Women are not more than men in number.

3. A delusion cannot equate reality.

4. Nonsense!

PastorKosi:
It is well with your soul.

You didn't address his point, not everyone will get married so what advice do you have for those who won't? They should be childless because they are mot married?

AngelSlay:
I’ve seen some of those posts too, where people advise single ladies to just go ahead and have children outside marriage if marriage isn’t happening quickly. Honestly, that’s not the best mindset to adopt. Having a child is a huge lifelong responsibility, not something to do out of desperation or pressure.

Marriage and parenthood both come with their own timing. Rushing into either just to “feel complete” can lead to regrets later. Instead, focus on building yourself, your career, your finances, and your relationship with God. The right person and the right season will align — and when it does, you’ll not just have a child, but a stable home to raise that child in.

Patience isn’t always easy, but it’s worth it. Trust that your story is unfolding in the right way, at the right time.

Okay na.dey dere.
I am married with a son.hubby and I for almost 10 have done several ivf for a second child and nothing. At some point we came to Nigeria to save costs. I am a young woman(not in her 30s).

To tell you how painful it is for me.
Talk more of a woman that is 36 without a husband or even one child. Like you have nothing to keep you happy.

Except poor single moms,the ones I know are always happy and posting their babies pictures using it as status. You will see the joy they have.its better than being a bitter lonely person.my only issue is that you should have money

ExudeLoveToAll:
➜You didn't address his point, not everyone will get married so what advice do you have for those who won't?
➜They should be childless because they are mot married?

What is with the delusion that they need your advice, though?

Why can't they choose to live childfree if unmarried, though?

Tightpussy2024:
➜Okay na.dey dere. I am married with a son.hubby and I for almost 10 have done several ivf for a second child and nothing. At some point we came to Nigeria to save costs. I am a young woman(not in her 30s).
To tell you how painful it is for me. Talk more of a woman that is 36 without a husband or even one child. Like you have nothing to keep you happy.
➜Except poor single moms,the ones I know are always happy and posting their babies pictures using it as status. You will see the joy they have.its better than being a bitter lonely person.my only issue is that you should have money

1. People who need to have kids to be happy... tend to treat with great suspicion, really.

There is nothing painful about a man/woman choosing to forego having kids entirely or even choosing to forego getting married. Approximately 25% in every generation choose to keep their peace of mind rather than give it up to carry on themselves the burden that is marriage and/or childbirth. (I happen to have been babysat by a woman who had no kids, remained unmarried until she died in old age back in the 90s, and she had no regrets.) I was sad about how the general gossip in the village at the time was that she was mentally burdened or could even be a witch. But for my mum and us, she was the nicest woman in that village.

Society tends to give voice instead to the married and with children over the section of the same society that opts out of being such burdens. That does not mean that those who choose to remain unmarried and/or childfree are sad and miserable people. Far from it, they are thriving independent individuals who fly under the societal radar much of the time to keep the peace.

2. We all know of the fake life of posting baby pictures. I know many women who posted baby pictures only to turn around and beg their classmates for money and help with raising those same babies because resources no dey. Why have kids that you do not have the resources and finances to adequately cater for?

Marriage is a burden; children are a burden. Only those who feel they have what it takes to handle these burdens without losing themselves should engage.

Lovelydaisies:
Very evil advice coming from those people. When she gets a child or two out of wedlock now, they'll label her a single mother, and steer clear of her.
Or call her a prostitute.
And how will she take good care of the child or children in the absence of the man?

The selfishness of the idea is too much. If she dies tomorrow, who will take up her responsibility? The man? Or if he's married, the wife? Why do we like to cut corners and make trouble for ourselves? Why?

The other day, I heard a man who should be around middle age saying that a woman should find a man to impregnate her, if she's in her thirties, because 'her glory' is fast fading. I thought it was a foolish talk but I didn't chip in. It's the kind of life they live there anyway.

Its an called advice for a reason, you either take it or leave base on your own convictions

This whole idea of baby mama or i dont need a Man i just want baby stemmed from women, it as being happening abroad for a long time before its was adopted by our feminists here they registered the idea, Davido 1st baby mama sophia it was her intention just to have a child for david .. i dont care if you marry me or not
Linda ikeji is another classical example just give me a baby ... its be on for a while among the socialites and rich ladies

if a Man is bringing Up the advise now its does not negate the fact that old Aunties pioneered this ideology, not every woman go see marriage is not a curse or insult

chidiokay:
Its an called advice for a reason, you either take it or leave base on your own convictions

This whole idea of baby mama or i dont need a Man i just want baby stemmed from women, it as being happening abroad for a long time before its was adopted by our feminists here they registered the idea, Davido 1st baby mama sophia it was her intention just to have a child for david .. i dont care if you marry me or not
Linda ikeji is another classical example just give me a baby ... its be on for a while among the socialites and rich ladies

if a Man is bringing Up the advise now its does not negate the fact that old Aunties pioneered this ideology, not every woman go see marriage is not a curse or insult

I can't say where the action originated, in Nigeria or abroad but it's not wholesome.

It all boils down to the fact that it's a thinking that dwells on the present. What's the future of such an action as you have seen? Those celebrity ladies and old aunties you mentioned that did it, how's it working out for them? Not all turn out okay, I'm sure.

They may have their reasons but it's a selfish one, one that doesn't consider the life and future of the child(ren).

And no, every woman can't marry or stay married, so will everybody not be rich. I no be God. But how we go about solving the problem shouldn't create more problems.

Qualityoffer:
The nairaland Poco's style of conceiving, and after that you can come online and start shouting my husband this, my husband that

i know she wil be on a thread like this one but cant see her, i hope Pocohantas knows she would have being the tiger generator to drag on a thread like this but Marriage saved her turgid ass

when we say naa women dey benefit from Marriage she go argue,

Father4all:
Trust God ke. Weh time dey out. Oga publisher, women don't have much time oo. This is why Islam is best. Just be a second wife simple

Islam is l[b]best[/b] because it condones you to be a 2nd fiddle

In which world does Best and 2nd ever align on a row

Mindlog:
Some don't even need a man to get them pregnant, in order to avoid baby daddy drama, rather they go to fertility clinics for sperms and go straight for Intrauterine insemination (IUI) to get pregnant.

A baby mama is a baby mama, it doesn't matter what way and manner she became pregnant.

Lovelydaisies:
I can't say where the action originated, in Nigeria or abroad but it's not wholesome.

It all boils down to the fact that it's a thinking that dwells on the present. What's the future of such an action as you have seen? Those celebrity ladies and old aunties you mentioned that did it, how's it working out for them? Not all turn out okay, I'm sure.

They may have their reasons but it's a selfish one, one that doesn't consider the life and future of the child(ren).

And no, every woman can't marry or stay married, so will everybody not be rich. I no be God. But how we go about solving the problem shouldn't create more problems.

I can tell you it orginated from Western country, it stemmed from lesbians who are always looking for a donor that brought up a sperm bank ... i know cos i use to watch L word back in the days

speaking of how well, is it all marriages that turned out okay ? lemme ask you as well with the escalating rate of divorce whats the future of marriage ... who could have thought annie n tu face will divorce

The whole concept might appear as Selfish, but at some point in our lives you just have to put yourself 1st .... i always say this the whole essence of Woman is her womb and a woman's instinct sires from motherhood

That we Men can now condone this ideology is a step up to being realistic. its convenient for women to accept Menopause so far they have a child.

marlow1962:
A baby mama is a baby mama, it doesn't matter what way and manner she became pregnant.

But not your baby mama!

Qualityoffer:
The nairaland Poco's style of conceiving, and after that you can come online and start shouting my husband this, my husband that

E really pain you o. 😂😂

Kobojunkie:
Who made you adviser over women? And where do you get this notion that becoming un-resistable to men is what women desire?

You ever heard anyone inform you that you may be dealing with delusions of grandeur there?

2. According to you, your wife is yet to reach your level of un-resistable - ity --- she obviously does not care for your opinion on such things, yet you insist this opinion of yours will resonate with women out there? Are you OK?

Who have time to respond to your nonsense. ITK

janeedema:
A male manipulative chauvinist narcissist spotted.

“My wife still has some of these issues“ “They never want to learn” “I will send you certain things ladies need to know and follow”

How about the guy? What is he following? What issues do you still have that your wife had told you about?

Very self-absorbed individual you are.

I don’t know you, but I can almost pity your poor wife as she has to work with your list to keep you and still never gets commendation as you try and make her your puppet.

When does she get an opportunity to be herself as all you do is complain and try to change her.

What some people call ‘marriage’ is pathetic. A great marriage isn’t what you just portrayed.

You even mentioned your wife on a strange platform expressing that she has issues; while you form saint just to score cheap point on an irrelevant conversation.

If you truly understand marriage and respect your wife, you won’t even do this; whether you are anonymous or not.

And the same you wants to give someone a list on how to be irresistible and attract men like you.

How sad!

And a single lady is supposed to be crying that she isn’t married to someone like you or envy your wife?

Bitterness is written all over you. We know your type. I will train my daughter never to follow all these feminists who have nothing to offer but being narcissist, opportunist, self aggrandisement and entitlement mentality

Reason there's a freewill. Ladies, if you miss out on a wife, don't miss out on motherhood. Simple.

chidiokay:
Islam is l[b]best[/b] because it condones you to be a 2nd fiddle

In which world does Best and 2nd ever align on a row

what you you mean by second fiddle? So, if your sister is unmarried at 40 you will be happy

Qualityoffer:
Forget about all her Nairaland noise. She has born but she is married. The man has refused to marry her. You don't even know what has been happening.

Create a thread and tell us.
At this point I am invested. 😀😀😀

Kobojunkie:
Isaiah 4 vs 1 details events that took place around 720BC, in the daughter nation of Israel— after the first nation was divided into two separate nations—, also called Israel was destroyed by the Assyrian army, courtesy of the God of Israel. Then, your ancestors were probably not even sure of their left from their right. So why do you come dey quote that passages in connection with your ancestors?

Maybe your ancestors didn’t know their right from left around 720BC?

Father4all:
what you you mean by second fiddle? So, if your sister is unmarried at 40 you will be happy

if my sister is any Fiddle sef, i wont be happy sé o fe gbór

Kobojunkie:
I am sorry? You think your mothers and grandmothers have not always been able to get their secks on since before you were born? Were you born yesterday or something?

yeah pretty much
Buts it's disgusting as hell...

Kobojunkie:
What is with the delusion that they need your advice, though?

Why can't they choose to live childfree if unmarried, though?

What is delusion that i need your comment? Abeg shift I don't interface with people without bearing.

Kobojunkie:
1. See Storyland!

2. False information! Women are not more than men in number.

3. A delusion cannot equate reality.

4. Nonsense!

Oga am talking of Nigeria not China or India and we all can see it.

North for example, men both rich and poor marry multiple wives, have you ever heard of scarcity of single women to marry over there?

Our ancestors married multiple wives during their time yet women were still available.

Let women start marrying multiple men as men do, i can tell you that single men will be no where to be found again. Even a boy of 12 years won't be single

OkCornel:
✓ Maybe your ancestors didn’t know their right from left around 720BC?

See this one? 😩😩😩

So water spirits means what? That your ancestors had their left and right figured out? 🥱🥱🥱

Treasure17:
Reason there's a freewill. Ladies, if you miss out on a wife, don't miss out on motherhood. Simple.

Why should ladies play heed to what you have to say, though? Who are you and why should they care what you had to say? 🥱🥱🥱🥱