₦airaland Forum

You are even selfish and self centered she said it all, I give it to her on this.

Fenrir:
Ive always loved Nigeria, I was emancipated at 13 and made into a legal man at 13

Where i lived with a Nigerian single mother
I was paying my rent at 13
Doing the household maintenance for her

My first trip to Nigeria was when I was 17 to actually learn about your cultures

Unlike you like lot I can name all 371 tribes

Ill admit that watching your weddings they are quite beautiful but I have the right to say to any part i dont want to do and its culturally narcissistic for you to scream and throw a tantrum saying everyone has to do it

Telling me to kneel to your fathers or prostrate for them or wear a Nigerian outfit to marry a woman is basically them declaring an act of war

I have just stood up when meeting the familys and made the brothers, cousins, uncles and father's go nite nite on the floor for just suggesting it

Ive also made many a very fair offer
They want me to kneel to them or prostrate to them they all step outside and see if they can make me

Ive also stood up and dropped my trousers and told them to kiss my ring, a humiliation for a humiliation

Now you have gotten all that out, do you feel better?

shaybebaby:
True,in terms of the Nigerian constitution modelled after a system of government that is not African.

We do however, have customary laws (as established by our forefathers) and in some states, Sharia laws which are faith based.

Will there be friction having those 3 frameworks at play at the same time? Yes.

But just because you have lost touch with your customs ( which you are obviously nostalgically harkening back to with your YouTube links) does not mean you get to decide how, why and what relevance it is should be to us.

Not that I disagree with your sentiment as to its relevant in this day and age,however as much as you are allowed your opinions,it is NOT in your place to judge our affairs because you are NOT one of us nor have you earned the right.

How have I lost touch with my traditions and culture? I did everything my ancestors said I had to do to earn them

Went to war and proved im a man worthy of the name

You have lost touch with yours
In a traditional wedding in Nigeria for all tribes in 2025 all of the families of the women get everything those traditions are for and a lot more

No groom gets the 1 thing your ancestors they are for in any tribe

The pride of meeting a woman as a virgin and marrying her as a virgin

Harp on about it all you want its a 1 sided vow now
Do you really think your African ancestors made traditions where a woman can freely sleep with any man or men and those men never married her

Never had to ask the family for permission to access her body

Never had to thank the family for access to her body

Yet a potential husband has to beg and grovel to the family to be her 2nd or 3rd or 100th man? A lot of the time raising the kids of men before him that she never married? To the point that the fathers of a runs girls demand prostration as well?

No, just no, your traditions for 2 things only

1) the thank the family for a Virgin bride

2) so Nigerian men can marry multiple women

I dont want a virgin and never did
I can only have 1 wife

So why would I do it?

Fenrir:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ViXtxlr7xtQ?si=wOLD8v2mczjD0Dfi

Lady, what you call a tribe i call a clan

I was born and raised for war, I consider all Nigerian men weak because of that upbringing

Nigerian men can harp on about what they value but they will beg and grovel to marry a woman not fight to marry one because when it actually comes to fist and fury and fighting for their families they are about as useful as a chocolate teapot

Those who live by the sword, die by the sword.
You can't escape that. Live by war, die by war.
Probably, "all Nigerian weak men" (as you say) are just avoiding wasting their lives.

uuzba:
Those who live by the sword, die by the sword.
You can't escape that. Live by war, die by war.
Probably, "all Nigerian weak men" (as you say) are just avoiding wasting their lives.

Live fast, die young and leave a fairly good looking corpse

No guts no glory

Who wants to live forever? I dont

Id rather go out swinging in 1 last glorious battle on my terms than waste away of old age in a death bed

She actually told you the truth .......

That's one big truth I've heard so far this year 👍🏻

Chilipepper:
Man shares a lady's response after asking what she would bring to his life if they dated.

Chai...Well, simps will still fall for such

uuzba:
Those who live by the sword, die by the sword.
You can't escape that. Live by war, die by war.
Probably, "all Nigerian weak men" (as you say) are just avoiding wasting their lives.

To be honest im starting to think I might be immoral

Been shot over 18 times
Stabbed nearly just as many
Survived a helicopter crash after it was shot down and nearly got had my intestines removed by the propeller

Heck, I got stabbed in lagos last year by the brother of an ex because I refused to prostrate and walked away from her years ago well, over a decade ago but he held that grudge like it was keeping him alive

I walked away with a few stitches but he woke up in icu and getting arrested

Fenrir:
How have I lost touch with my traditions and culture? I did everything my ancestors said I had to do to earn them

Went to war and proved im a man worthy of the name

You have lost touch with yours
In a traditional wedding in Nigeria for all tribes in 2025 all of the families of the women get everything those traditions are for and a lot more

No groom gets the 1 thing your ancestors they are for in any tribe

The pride of meeting a woman as a virgin and marrying her as a virgin

Harp on about it all you want its a 1 sided vow now
Do you really think your African ancestors made traditions where a woman can freely sleep with any man or men and those men never married her

Never had to ask the family for permission to access her body

Never had to thank the family for access to her body

Yet a potential husband has to beg and grovel to the family to be her 2nd or 3rd or 100th man? A lot of the time raising the kids of men before him that she never married? To the point that the fathers of a runs girls demand prostration as well?

No, just no, your traditions for 2 things only

1) the thank the family for a Virgin bride

2) so Nigerian men can marry multiple women

I dont want a virgin and never did
I can only have 1 wife

So why would I do it?

You are not one of us. So you get to dip.

As for the bolded, it means NOTHING to me because it is not of my culture.

But I dont get to shit on it for that reason even though I find it bizarre that a man should be defined by that.

Now by my standards, you are coming across slightly unhinged and a bit hysterical for a man , or woman for that matter. Like someone with unresolved issues.

But that is not my problem. And for that reason, I wish you all the best and healing from whatever it is that ails you. One thing it is not, is the Nigerian culture however regressive it may be at times.

shaybebaby:
You are not one of us. So you get to dip.

As for the bolded, it means NOTHING to me because it is not of my culture.

But I dont get to shit on it for that reason even though I find it bizarre that a man should be defined by that.

Now by my standards, you are coming across slightly unhinged and a bit hysterical for a man , or woman for that matter. Like someone with unresolved issues.

But that is not my problem. And for that reason, I wish you all the best and healing from whatever it is that ails you. One thing it is not, is the Nigerian culture however regressive it may be at times.

Exactly my traditions mean nothing to you
Just like yours mean nothing to me

But to me prostration and kneeling to a family is an act of submission and highly forbidden its an insult not respect, if any man expects me to do either then he better be able to force me to do it by over powering me

If you cannot marry a man proudly as yourself and him proudly as himself blending cultures

The best parts yours and the best parts of his automatically removing anything that offends either of you

Leave that man alone because you truly do not want the marriage you just want the wedding and no more

shaybebaby:
She didn't try at what?
What is the right answer here for a woman?

She said she'll be his peace and we all know most partners don't bring that. Also in a peaceful relationship, both sides brings it.

The talk about giving him children is funny because the children will belong to the two of them and even the dullest woman can have children.

She should also never have said, aside this, I have nothing else to offer, that simply indicates that the girl doesn't know what she's doing.

A good response is to talk about your qualities as a person and if you are confused, as the dude what he wants in a woman and points out what you have in common to what he wants.

shaybebaby:
You are not one of us. So you get to dip.

As for the bolded, it means NOTHING to me because it is not of my culture.

But I dont get to shit on it for that reason even though I find it bizarre that a man should be defined by that.

Now by my standards, you are coming across slightly unhinged and a bit hysterical for a man , or woman for that matter. Like someone with unresolved issues.

But that is not my problem. And for that reason, I wish you all the best and healing from whatever it is that ails you. One thing it is not, is the Nigerian culture however regressive it may be at times.

Ails me?
Lady im happily married man, there are over 230 million of you, do you really think all women care about that nonsense? Or do you think that are there are millions that just want a happy marriage not caring how it starts?

Pompoma:
We bring only pussiii and bweast. That's all. Anyone who don't like it should remain celibate.

Hummm, I like that 😋😋😋😋

Fenrir:
Ails me?
Lady im happily married man, there are over 230 million of you, do you really think all women care about that nonsense? Or do you think that are there are millions that just want a happy marriage not caring how it starts?

Arguing with a woman now? Why are you such a depressed fellow looking to villainize just about everybody who falls for your ragebaits

Nteogwuija:
I don't know what men expect from women apart from being faithful and loyal, to be fair.

Fact, a married woman once told me that there's nothing a woman can offer me apart from being a good woman.

So if you're lucky and have a woman who's industrious, then take it as is.

It's laziness that will make a woman say that.

There's a lot a woman can offer you aside being a good woman.

For instance, some men from third world countries are citizens a good country because they married a good woman from there.

If you say so. However you do not sound happy, you sound very angry.
Save that anger for your wife. The remaining 230 million of us do not care.

Karleb:
She said she'll be his peace and we all know most partners don't bring that. Also in a peaceful relationship, both sides brings it.

The talk about giving him children is funny because the children will belong to the two of them and even the dullest woman can have children.

She should also never have said, aside this, I have nothing else to offer, that simply indicates that the girl doesn't know what she's doing.

A good response is to talk about your qualities as a person and if you are confused, as the dude what he wants in a woman and points out what you have in common to what he wants.

It doesn't seem like she has got it and that is okay. You cannot give what you do not have.

The man in this instance should keep it moving instead of requiring her or expect her to justify why what she says she is about is right for him.

We cannot be for everyone.

The truth is this guy will never abort the mission.
Meanwhile if you are looking for an honest girl, go for her. You CAn make a good difference in her life.

shaybebaby:
True,in terms of the Nigerian constitution modelled after a system of government that is not African.

We do however, have customary laws (as established by our forefathers) and in some states, Sharia laws which are faith based.

Will there be friction having those 3 frameworks at play at the same time? Yes.

But just because you have lost touch with your customs ( which you are obviously nostalgically harkening back to with your YouTube links) does not mean you get to decide how, why and what relevance it is should be to us.

Not that I disagree with your sentiment as to its relevant in this day and age,however as much as you are allowed your opinions,it is NOT in your place to judge our affairs because you are NOT one of us nor have you earned the right.

What he does not understand is that Yoruba show excessive respect for age. All cultures respect age but Yoruba is excessive. Unless an old person shows self as not worthy the person will be respected in Yoruba land. I don't have a problem with that at all as age is not easy to come by. As a Yoruba you bow down or prostrate to greet random elders and relatives then how much more to someone as old as your father who is giving you a wife?. That is the issue. You may be exempted in some cases but most people just do it even when they are elderly. Remember in Yoruba land a wife is a huge gift because all her children belongs to the husband's family. I don't agree with Fenrir that it is a bad culture. If you don't agree with it you can be excused

Zonefree:
@bolded

This "change her orientation" is the major reason many men are suffering in marriage.

No matter what or who you are, you can NEVER change a female adult.

This is clearly false and you are being childish and it's worrying.

lawani:
What he does not understand is that Yoruba show excessive respect for age. All cultures respect age but Yoruba is excessive. Unless an old person shows self as not worthy the person will be respected in Yoruba land. I don't have a problem with that at all as age is not easy to come by. As a Yoruba you bow down or prostrate to greet random elders and relatives then how much more to someone as old as your father who is giving you a wife?. That is the issue. You may be exempted in some cases but most people just do it even when they are elderly. Remember in Yoruba land a wife is a huge gift because all her children belongs to the husband's family. I don't agree with Fenrir that it is a bad culture. If you don't agree with it you can be excused

Fella, I understand but what you don't understand that those men no right to disrespect people and demand it is done when it is offensive to most cultures in the world

I never its an outright culture but is narcissistic to manipulate and lie about it

Actually get off your backside and do a very very deep dive into the origins of the culture

1) was never about begging, it was never about respect, it was thanks for purity

2) it was never yoruba originally to return the bride price, they started doing that around the 1970s after the civil war

3) they absolutely no right to go around saying who is exempt and who isnt

4) the only they can automatically demand it and expect it is from their own people for their own people

5) they do not value humility and respect if the second a man says no to it they immediately start insulting him and calling him worthless and all the names under the sun and not automatically just drop it

6) respect earns respect its that simple, if an old yoruba only sees a husband for his daughter as worth marrying her by if he will get on his stomach or not then he should make sure his daughter only marries a yoruba man

7) the majority of them will actively try and destroy a relationship if a man is not willing to do it, how can a person get to the age to of 50+ and have the arrogance to judge people in such a petty manner

They are not humble or respectful men because of how they act as soon as the word no about is said, look at that topic about edo boy that agreed to do a full traditional wedding and no one actually told him what it in involved, and the second he learned about it he was sickened by it and respectfully said hes not doing it, how did that family treat him?

There are a few tribes that will not do it for yoruba if they can respect them saying no, then they can respect everyone saying no

lawani:
What he does not understand is that Yoruba show excessive respect for age. All cultures respect age but Yoruba is excessive. Unless an old person shows self as not worthy the person will be respected in Yoruba land. I don't have a problem with that at all as age is not easy to come by. As a Yoruba you bow down or prostrate to greet random elders and relatives then how much more to someone as old as your father who is giving you a wife?. That is the issue. You may be exempted in some cases but most people just do it even when they are elderly. Remember in Yoruba land a wife is a huge gift because all her children belongs to the husband's family. I don't agree with Fenrir that it is a bad culture. If you don't agree with it you can be excused

And no, a father does not own his children, they are people not property

Daughters have been sexually assaulted by the fathers throughout all tribes histories and alot during covid lockdown because of that attitude

Its a father's responsibility to raise their children and once 21 years old they are free to do whatever they want regardless of what the father says

Kaido:
✓ Most of our grandmas and great grandmamas were given farmlands while some others were traders.

Stop spewing lies which assume that the vast majority of married men where rich enough to afford land, a fact that has been proven untrue for the most part. 🥱🥱🥱

As for the traders, well that story may be true even today as almost 50% of married women are essentially breadwinners even today in their marriages. 🥱🥱🥱🥱

Fenrir:
Fella, I understand but what you don't understand that those men no right to disrespect people and demand it is done when it is offensive to most cultures in the world

I never its an outright culture but is narcissistic to manipulate and lie about it

Actually get off your backside and do a very very deep dive into the origins of the culture

1) was never about begging, it was never about respect, it was thanks for purity

2) it was never yoruba originally to return the bride price, they started doing that around the 1970s after the civil war

3) they absolutely no right to go around saying who is exempt and who isnt

4) the only they can automatically demand it and expect it is from their own people for their own people

5) they do not value humility and respect if the second a man says no to it they immediately start insulting him and calling him worthless and all the names under the sun and not automatically just drop it

6) respect earns respect its that simple, if an old yoruba only sees a husband for his daughter as worth marrying her by if he will get on his stomach or not then he should make sure his daughter only marries a yoruba man

7) the majority of them will actively try and destroy a relationship if a man is not willing to do it, how can a person get to the age to of 50+ and have the arrogance to judge people in such a petty manner

They are not humble or respectful men because of how they act as soon as the word no about is said, look at that topic about edo boy that agreed to do a full traditional wedding and no one actually told him what it in involved, and the second he learned about it he was sickened by it and respectfully said hes not doing it, how did that family treat him?

There are a few tribes that will not do it for yoruba if they can respect them saying no, then they can respect everyone saying no

It is not only thanks for purity but an acknowledgement that you are taking somebody away from the clan to go and be increasing your own population. No women no next generation. It is also the reason the bride price is shared to the extended family. It is to kind of compensate them for the loss. It is one of Earth's cultures and we should not be preaching against it. All cultures that are not harmful should be preserved. One thing that can also be done is to get people that will prostrate on contract. If a King is getting married for instance he will not prostrate by himself

DeeScan:
. A stay at home husband 😕😕😕 Is that even a thing ☹️☹️☹️

They exist even in your Nigeria. You may want to Google to find out.

Fenrir:
And no, a father does not own his children, they are people not property

Daughters have been sexually assaulted by the fathers throughout all tribes histories and alot during covid lockdown because of that attitude

Its a father's responsibility to raise their children and once 21 years old they are free to do whatever they want regardless of what the father says

Nobody exists as an island. We are people because of other people. We belong to our communities and we build on our forebears. If they deposit in you they have a stake in you. This does not mean children are properties nor does it mean they should carry on as if they should consider only themselves when getting married

BRATISLAVA:
✓ It's not good enough because most lazy, young, primitive men want to have their cake and eat it.
✓ She's pretty clear with what she's bringing, though it's dumb to ask a student what they are bringing. To show you the perspective of the average dumb Nigerian misogynist, he's asking what someone who is probably still schooling and is 18 is bringing to the table for him. What was he doing at her age? What do 90% of kids whose parents send them to school do for a living while in school?
The slowpoke is asking what she brings. You'd be surprised he's only bringing money. And misogyny.

As long as women keep making men their prize, there is not really much anyone can do about that. I mean, the reports say that just less than 50% of married women exist as breadwinners and homemakers in their marriages. That is to tell you that Nigerian women have a long way to go in freeing themselves from the male-centered mindset.

2. You dey blame am? Na women wey dey engage such individuals I dey blame pass cause I don't understand what she hopes to gain from a person who literally interviews her for such, knowing fully well she is a student with her life still. Before her.

mysticwarrior:
Our Greatgrand mothers were all farmers, they plant and harvest crops at their backyard to support the family, please kindly show some respect to our grandmothers and Greatgrand mothers

Stop telling lies! 🥱🥱🥱

If all your great grandmas were farmers then what you are saying is that all men were rich enough to own or lease farm land back in the days, something we all know was not true.