₦airaland Forum

I would rather train a dog than train a woman.


Dogs never forget the person that train them

TheHatofEsther:
She's right. You were just used by God for that aspect. She doesn't owe you anything.
There even other men that setup business for ladies and don't expect anything back

See,na dem dem be that!
So,you too build house for your Girlfriend but you no fit Sleep or Step into the house,how about that?
Iberiiberism!

You all can crucify the lady all you want, the fact remains that she's literally right, regardless of how notionally wrong her assertion seems.

The unpronounced and bitter truth in a scenario like this is always that the man wasn't frank, diligent, and altruistic in his dealings with her from the inception of the relationship. If he were:

- Frankness: he would have secured a concrete consent and assurance of marriage from her before spending on her education, citing that he evidently didn't do so altruistically.

- Diligence: he would've seen her recent disposition beforehand because frankness exposes hidden opposing intentions.

- Altruism: if his major interest in her stemmed from selflessness, rather than lust and/or greed, he could've spent even more than he might have done without feeling used and lose out the very moment she decided to part ways with him. When your interest/deeds for someone is altruistic, you'll see yourself giving everything without losing anything.

In summary, there's nothing wrong in spending on someone you're in a relationship with, but spending on them doesn't give you the right to their liberty. So, it behooves on you to make sure that whomever you choose to enter into a relationship with is worth/deserving (this is about the quality of their soul, and their financial standing is irrelevant) all that you can offer. Of course, I don't hold a brief for the lady in question.

pocohantas:
The only thing I love about the comments here is that no woman was exempted. The guys said "all women". Even the one that called me bitter says he cannot give woman N100, na only knack e fit give. I always knew I didn't miss out on anything. Na why I never fail to tell them to go and marry who they like and leave me.


As for the lady in the post, an ingrate she is.
I recommend parents training their kids. Whatever you have to do, please do it. So they don't become indebted to anyone and think they have to pay with a commitment as serious as marriage. My heart goes out to the guy.

Parents need to do for their kids. The price a woman is expected to pay for a man helping her financially is not small.

Even extended family, if they help you through school or something, your price to pay is really heavy.

If anyone but your parents help you then you may lose your freedom in their eyes and be expected to be indebted for life.

No matter what length you've gone for a girlfriend or side chick , " what is it exactly that you've done sef." na I'm dey end am. Na elders talk am no be me .

Geh Geh needs to see this

purples25:
Parents need to do for their kids. The price a woman is expected to pay for a man helping her financially is not small.

Even extended family, if they help you through school or something, your price to pay is really heavy.

If anyone but your parents help you then you may lose your freedom in their eyes and be expected to be indebted for life.

No lies, babe. That was why I took up my cousin's university bills. My conscience would not have allowed me look the other way. Lest male predators capitalise on it to hook her. There was one man selling garri and beans that was already telling my aunty he loves her. It is also why I am generous to younger females. I pray God blesses we their elder sisters, make nonsense fit stop.

Sue the lady to court.

Successsearch90:
wow. We are exactly in the same situation the only difference is that have not married her yet. I want to ask, does have children with you? If so, and she is still staring at other guys suggestively, then wow. It is truly dangerous. a risk.
And we love each other so much ehn. Like she literally dying for me. And she also wants us to get married quick. What do you suggest I do

Better to follow your heart, outcomes can be different. But don't overdo support and emotions change with time, it might be you first. I have no regrets on my decisions, we are happy together ❤️ but I take my personal growth seriously, support when needed. Yes we have a sweet loving child, made we both invested maybe. Life no get manual, once one is prepared emotionally, expectations are less so no much regrets.

Geh geh university is yet to spread

TheHatofEsther:
She's right. You were just used by God for that aspect. She doesn't owe you anything.
There even other men that setup business for ladies and don't expect anything back

Awon alasedanu

starpower:
Better to follow your heart, outcomes can be different. But don't overdo support and emotions change with time, it might be you first. I have no regrets on my decisions, we are happy together ❤️ but I take my personal growth seriously, support when needed. Yes we have a sweet loving child, made we both invested maybe. Life no get manual, once one is prepared emotionally, expectations are less so no much regrets.

Thanks bro. I appreciate 🙏

pocohantas:
No lies, babe. That was why I took up my cousin's university bills. My conscience would not have allowed me look the other way. Lest male predators capitalise on it to hook her. There was one man selling garri and beans that was already telling my aunty he loves her. It is also why I am generous to younger females. I pray God blesses we their elder sisters, make nonsense fit stop.

Nothing more liberating than the younger females coming after you knowing that they can come to you for stuff without fear of what they owe down the line. Chineke ekwena ihe ojo.

cococandy:
Nothing more liberating than the younger females coming after you knowing that they can come to you for stuff without fear of what they owe down the line. Chineke ekwena ihe ojo.

Eziokwu Coco! Since I achieved a bit of financial independence, once I hear a small girl is entering uni, I must drop something. If you cross my mind, I will send something.

pocohantas:
Eziokwu Coco! Since I achieved a bit of financial independence, once I hear a small girl is entering uni, I must drop something. If you cross my mind, I will send something.

you KNOW i am saving this comment for the future

GloriousGbola:
you KNOW i am saving this comment for the future

I am actually waiting for it too.
You think if it was her I wouldn't have done the needful on behalf of the sisterhood? 😂😂😂

starpower:
so if I made a mistake, but circumstances reduces my chances of outright loss, I should also mislead others into gambling. There are situations that can put you in such conditions, you just leave it to chance after noticing your decision are irrational. Emotions are not something to count on, it changes faster than one thinks, see if your honest with thyself, you will know some bad decisions 😉, that the outcome was good, but you can't pretend that type of decisions process is not sustainable. I have a older customers, they are both friends, I swear the outcome was opposite for each. But that because his other friend actually accepted reality like me not to over support, anytime he is in my office, he will emphasize, I shouldn't over support o.

This is some nonsensical bullshit!!!

I don't even understand any of what you even said 🙄

EvilMerodack:
Where are those always preaching "If a woman is worth it..."?

The fact that it worked out well in your case doesnt make it a norm. In fact, when making sweeping statements, exceptions are noted and they dont invalidate it

When people say "All women/men are this", they sure know not all are like that, but the few exceptions dont make the rule, they are part of the rule

If i would need to search down to a bag of beans to find a non-beans content in it, then its still safe to call the entire bag a bag of beans. The other foreign materials in it dont invalidate the tag

Hmmmmmm. King Solomon family you be

pocohantas:
I am actually waiting for it too.
You think if it was her I wouldn't have done the needful on behalf of the sisterhood? 😂😂😂

I know you will na.

May we all be alive and in good health for the present and future

PAWG:
Na intercontinental

I think it's cosmopolitan

EmperorIsaac:
Ubunja has sufficiently addressed this issue. Men need sense to regulate the "sex resource".

Infact, that guy did a great job. I wish I was aware of his miseducation when in secondary school.

GloriousGbola:
I know you will na.

May we all be alive and in good health for the present and future

Amin! 🙏🙏🙏

pocohantas:
No lies, babe. That was why I took up my cousin's university bills. My conscience would not have allowed me look the other way. Lest male predators capitalise on it to hook her. There was one man selling garri and beans that was already telling my aunty he loves her. It is also why I am generous to younger females. I pray God blesses we their elder sisters, make nonsense fit stop.

Yes, let’s be helping each other when we can. At least we won’t ask ourselves to marry or have sex as a payment for help. Or expect lifelong servitude like a slave whose payment is extremely large for freedom.

This is why there are organizations for helping people, or focused specifically on women because man would help man and it’s business related all the way, but for a man to help a woman she would at least pay her body or her life.

The funny thing is that women are not the ones who first commercialize everything. It’s men who come forward presenting cash first as a means of buying the woman, sometimes not clearing the air about what sort of exchange is being made. Only to come forward later to lay claim to the woman like a piece of meat. I’m not saying the woman should be ungrateful but terms and conditions should be stated clearly.

If it’s like this then no wonder some men can nearly kill a woman once they pay bride price. Because it’s not a celebration nor tradition to them but the sale of a woman, of a whole human being, to be owned like livestock. Women have to be careful.

I’m glad you helped your cousin and other females. Please keep it up.

purples25:
Yes, let’s be helping each other when we can. At least we won’t ask ourselves to marry or have sex as a payment for help. Or expect lifelong servitude like a slave whose payment is extremely large for freedom.

This is why there are organizations for helping people, or focused specifically on women because man would help man and it’s business related all the way, but for a man to help a woman she would at least pay her body or her life.

The funny thing is that women are not the ones who first commercialize everything. It’s men who come forward presenting cash first as a means of buying the woman, sometimes not clearing the air about what sort of exchange is being made. Only to come forward later to lay claim to the woman like a piece of meat. I’m not saying the woman should be ungrateful but terms and conditions should be stated clearly.

If it’s like this then no wonder some men can nearly kill a woman once they pay bride price. Because it’s not a celebration nor tradition to them but the sale of a woman, of a whole human being, to be owned like livestock. Women have to be careful.

I’m glad you helped your cousin and other females. Please keep it up.

Economy is hard now. They cannot keep up with paying, so they are angry. Even bride price they don't want to pay again. But na them start am and they must finish it.

It was the least I could do.
She is currently halfway through her NYSC.

pocohantas:
No lies, babe. That was why I took up my cousin's university bills. My conscience would not have allowed me look the other way. Lest male predators capitalise on it to hook her There was one man selling garri and beans that was already telling my aunty he loves her It is also why I am generous to younger females. I pray God blesses we their elder sisters, make nonsense fit stop.

Lol no be small love. I'm guessing the man looks like this

Skit.

pocohantas:
Eziokwu Coco! Since I achieved a bit of financial independence, once I hear a small girl is entering uni, I must drop something. If you cross my mind, I will send something.

Trust me they’ll never forget you. And they’ll definitely pay it forward too.

Once someone helps you without the expectation that you have to owe them your body or loyalty in some way, it awakens the spirit of helping others in you.

Druss:
Reason why I ignore messages for help from females. It is when they need help that they can say anything.

One billed me for money to relocate based on she been find new aparte

told her no doggy no money

she vex for me.

It get reason why i do am as she is an expert in always billing every eke market day gimme gimme gimme.

She's wicked and ungrateful, I will blame him for spending on a lady he's not even sure of settling down with in future.

pocohantas:
Economy is hard now. They cannot keep up with paying, so they are angry. Even bride price they don't want to pay again. But na them start am and they must finish it.

You're not nice. 😔

starpower:
See most just start feeling over special with such sacrifices. Better to start with someone who won't derail one progress. I am currently supporting someone but really it not worth it, it prevents one from knowing there true motives in the relationship. The word is DESIST.
Modified: I wanted to move on, when I noticed it not going to be an healthy situation in the long-term as emotions are weightless, but pregnancy entered(I did DNA o, because people are unpredictable) and got married. But it really stressful on the provider, hard to have healthy relationships like that. You are busy providing for all, they feel you are boring as they rarely know what it cost to provide and be accountable. You end up grooming a monster at your own expense.

you just talk sense brof, tell me what you want Nigerian to do for you.