₦airaland Forum

APOPTOSIS:
What right does your Younger Brother have over a lady he has not paid her bride price?
The effrontery with which people take ordinary relationship is unbecoming.

Just imagine ordering the steps and redirecting the future of a young girl whom you haven't sought for her hand in marriage officially
Isn't that madness?

While I totally agreed with the bolded words, This is to remind you that marital union under the guise of wedding resulting to marriage has steps bro! Some things have already been established by her kid brother which the OP and other member of the family have thrown their weight behind. We are complaining of moral decadence in the society, paternity fraud etc. These are all traceable to activities like this.

For me it as simple as this...If you are in the game (relationship) to cheat meaning you are not ready to settle down and you are not worth having me...this is what the kid bro and OP are saying. The pain bore by the kid bro is the time, energy and financial resources invested because it takes time to love (though some school of thoughts believe in love at first sight).

My 2 kobo contributions.

Nigerian girls are hungry and greedy so don’t blame them. To the guys, if you want to do anything for a lady, let it be something you can do for others. Never do something for a lady cos she’s your girlfriend. You’ll be heartbroken 💔

Peace to all the heartbroken ninjas 🥷 in Nigeria 🇳🇬 ✌️

I just pray we don’t end up destroying the fabric of the society😔😔😔

MistyDense:
So, my younger brothers girlfriend whom he's being dating for almost two years now cheated on him and my brother being a smart guy caught her when he checked her chats on Whatsapp and Facebook.
The girl asked and pleaded for mercy, she asked me to beg my brother on her behalf, but right in my mind, I knew it was over cos my brother would never take her back. This is a girl that we all know and are familiar with o. This girl had been dating the guy he cheated with, for five months plus now. I refused to beg my brother, I don't indulge in relationship matters, let him decide as a man and adult. I trust his sense of judgement.
This girl later sent a msg to my brother that she will soon breakup with the guy and he should give her some time. My brother saw the text and was really furious. He wants to go to the girl's house to beat her but I warned him not to dare it.
Just this morning, she still sent another message that she has finally broken up with the guy and that it's been three days since she formally ended things with him and she didn't want to tell my kid brother now because she's still HEALING from breaking up with the other guy. This is a girl who always claims to love my brother. How do you heal from breaking up with another guy whom you said you didn't have feelings or love for?. She had told my brother that she doesn't love the other guy, so where is the HEALING now coming from again? 😂😂
This message almost caused a war between them. He threatened to mess the girl up if she ever comes close to him again.
Like WTF, how do you tell a guy you've dated for two years that he should give u time to formally end things with a guy you cheated on him with?
Again, how do you tell a guy you've dated for two years that you've finally broken up with the guy you cheated with and that you're still Healing that's why you haven't informed him so that he can now accept u back?

Omorr, things dey occur abeg.

My brother hasn't been able to talk to anyone since this incident. As far as I am concerned, I have never seen my brother with any other lady since he started dating this girl. My brother helps her a lot. And I can't understand why she had to cheat. And they even intended getting married next year.

Nlfpmod

How old is your brother?

MistyDense:
Who is this one again?
Tueh..

but he has a point, although it all comes down to 2 and 2 agreeing to exclusivity and if one breaks that commitment the other has every right to be angry. So ask your bro, when he asked her to be his girlfriend did he assume she would be his until marriage or he said those words to her and she renegade despite that? If he can’t accept her back it’s only fair he tells her to move on as he’s moving on but anytime he talks to her and tries to explain the hurt, he is only reinforcing “that I can be forgiven narrative towards her” and trust women, she will abuse what ever privileges she’s given. Nothing is hidden under the sun….

WantsandMore:
but he has a point, although it all comes down to 2 and 2 agreeing to exclusivity and if one breaks that commitment the other has every right to be angry. So ask your bro, when he asked her to be his girlfriend did he assume she would be his until marriage or he said those words to her and she renegade despite that? If he can’t accept her back it’s only fair he tells her to move on as he’s moving on but anytime he talks to her and tries to explain the hurt, he is only reinforcing “that I can be forgiven narrative towards her” and trust women, she will abuse what ever privileges she’s given. Nothing is hidden under the sun….

They had plans of marrying next year. Everyone in my family, both nuclear and extended family members know this. As a matter of fact, our parents had already established a serious rapport with the girl's family members too. She comes to sleep in our house and help my mum from time to time even when his guy(my brother) isn't around. There was a clear vision of where the relationship was headed

Fgo31:
How old is your brother?

Almost 30

Earthscience:
While I totally agreed with the bolded words, This is to remind you that marital union under the guise of wedding resulting to marriage has steps bro! Some things have already been established by her kid brother which the OP and other member of the family have thrown their weight behind. We are complaining of moral decadence in the society, paternity fraud etc. These are all traceable to activities like this.

For me it as simple as this...If you are in the game (relationship) to cheat meaning you are not ready to settle down and you are not worth having me...this is what the kid bro and OP are saying. The pain bore by the kid bro is the time, energy and financial resources invested because it takes time to love (though some school of thoughts believe in love at first sight).

My 2 kobo contributions.

Thanks so much brother. Thanks for your understanding. When I saw that guy's comment, I was really shocked. Sometimes I feel some potential nairalanders should take SANITY TEST before they become members of the forum, also there should be age restriction here, because sometimes whenever I read people's comment about a particular subject, I feel they don't have conscience

SpencerForbes:
Nigerian girls are hungry and greedy so don’t blame them. To the guys, if you want to do anything for a lady, let it be something you can do for others. Never do something for a lady cos she’s your girlfriend. You’ll be heartbroken 💔

Peace to all the heartbroken ninjas 🥷 in Nigeria 🇳🇬 ✌️

I just pray we don’t end up destroying the fabric of the society😔😔😔

I'm telling you. Sincerity, loyalty and faithfulness in relationships have all been eroded. Everyone now sees relationship as a game of cheese. Who will outsmart who?

MistyDense:
They had plans of marrying next year. Everyone in my family, both nuclear and extended family members know this. As a matter of fact, our parents had already established a serious rapport with the girl's family members too. She comes to sleep in our house and help my mum from time to time even when his guy(my brother) isn't around. There was a clear vision of where the relationship was headed

hmmm I get you, my friend will always say 1+1 is not always equal to 2 but then a cheating girl is no different from a cheating wife.

WantsandMore:
hmmm I get you, my friend will always say 1+1 is not always equal to 2 but then a cheating girl is no different from a cheating wife.

Of course, a girlfriend who cheats in a relationship would likely have extramarital affairs. It's very simple!

MistyDense:
Of course, a girlfriend who cheats in a relationship would likely have extramarital affairs. It's very simple!

there are exceptions though don’t forget that you could be that exception some day

APOPTOSIS:
What right does your Younger Brother have over a lady he has not paid her bride price?
The effrontery with which people take ordinary relationship is unbecoming.

Just imagine ordering the steps and redirecting the future of a young girl whom you haven't sought for her hand in marriage officially
Isn't that madness?

She is under no obligation to be with the guy but if she wants to get intimate with another guy, the more honourable thing would have been to break it up with this guy and go be with the other rather than bleeping two guys at the same time. That's a whorish behavior. And then this unsuspecting boyfriend would now eventually propose and marry her thinking he married a faithful lady while the now married lady sneaks off occasionally to get intimate with the other guy.
So it goes beyond just payment of the bride price but has to do with character and morals

Lol the part where she said she’s still healing from the other breakup kills me 😂😂😂😂😂

MistyDense:
I will disown him if he tries it.

U brother must have cheated ....

Or done something bad to her to make her cheat...

Women only cheat when they are not loved ...

As a woman I'm shocked that u cannot tell ur brother to forgive and take her back ....

Well Incase ur brother wants a new babe..I have one single mother with 2 kids that's very nice and caring.....let's both introduce her to your brother....

@OP I think you can see what guys complain about your gender.. a guy will go all out for a lady, spend his hard earned money to make her feel comfortable but betrayal is what she'll give in return.
Imagine dating another guy, going through breakup and healing while still in an existing relationship.

Abeg monitor that your brother closely.. that Delilah don do am strong shege.

drstranged:
She is under no obligation to be with the guy but if she wants to get intimate with another guy, the more honourable thing would have been to break it up with this guy and go be with the other rather than bleeping two guys at the same time. That's a whorish behavior. And then this unsuspecting boyfriend would now eventually propose and marry her thinking he married a faithful lady while the now married lady sneaks off occasionally to get intimate with the other guy.
So it goes beyond just payment of the bride price but has to do with character and morals

Someone is phucking Someone's daughter without due clearance and you are talking about faithfulness? 🙆🏾‍♂️🙆🏾‍♂️🙆🏾‍♂️🙆🏾‍♂️🙆🏾‍♂️. Faithfulness to who, please? A boyfriend not acknowledged or known by the father....Do you know that if that GaL dies in that so-called boyfriend apartment, that boy will be in grave danger ( homicide straight).
But if a wife dies in her husband's house, doors wouldn't be closed at the man most likely.
Think oooooo. I don't care what the gal does with her life, for that's her choice. It's for the boy to make his decision whether to go on or not. He has no iota of legal right over that GaL.
You Guys don't understand the "Law"

APOPTOSIS:
Someone is phucking Someone's daughter without due clearance and you are talking about faithfulness? 🙆🏾‍♂️🙆🏾‍♂️🙆🏾‍♂️🙆🏾‍♂️🙆🏾‍♂️. Faithfulness to who, please? A boyfriend not acknowledged or known by the father....Do you know that if that GaL dies in that so-called boyfriend apartment, that boy will be in grave danger ( homicide straight).
But if a wife dies in her husband's house, doors wouldn't be closed at the man most likely.
Think oooooo. I don't care what the gal does with her life, for that's her choice. It's for the boy to make his decision whether to go on or not. He has no iota of legal right over that GaL.
You Guys don't understand the "Law"

I believe the so called fucking was of MUTUAL CONSENT between the two parties, two consenting adults and so it has nothing to do with his authority over her. He can't take permission from the father of an adult lady who has willingly opened her legs for him. On the aspect of faithfulness, if we're going by your logic it means the girl has every right to Bleep any guy she sees and deems fit and thus turn herself into a prostitute. Isn't it better she stays faithful to one man in a proper RELATIONSHIP/COURTSHIP before he does the formal proceeding for marriage. Relationships/courtships are necessary for couples to know themselves properly before committing to marriage. And in this phase of relationship, it's expected that both parties are committed and loyal to each other. On the aspect of sex in relationship, I don't subscribe to it because it's not moral but again one can argue for the fact that it's of mutual consent and secondly, as a human you can't judge a man from a moral point of view because you also do immoral stuffs too...more like pot calling kettle black. His sins might be sexual, yours might be stealing or telling lies. Only God can morally judge a man.
So in every sense, that man was right to have expected a reasonable degree of loyalty from that girl he was in a relationship with, which I believe was a prelude to meeting her people formally for marriage. If she can't be faithful to him in a courtship then she won't be in marriage. Simple.

advanceDNA:
U brother must have cheated ....

Or done something bad to her to make her cheat...

Women only cheat when they are not loved ...

As a woman I'm shocked that u cannot tell ur brother to forgive and take her back ....

Well Incase ur brother wants a new babe..I have one single mother with 2 kids that's very nice and caring.....let's both introduce her to your brother....

You will need the single mother More

Lamanii22:
Lol the part where she said she’s still healing from the other breakup kills me 😂😂😂😂😂

Na that particular line make my kid bro almost run mad. 😂😂😂

flokii:
@OP I think you can see what guys complain about your gender.. a guy will go all out for a lady, spend his hard earned money to make her feel comfortable but betrayal is what she'll give in return.
Imagine dating another guy, going through breakup and healing while still in an existing relationship.

Abeg monitor that your brother closely.. that Delilah don do am strong shege.

He's under close watch. He's really down. I asked him to move in with me for some weeks or months to enable him heal since he's on work Leave now

drstranged:
I believe the so called fucking was of MUTUAL CONSENT between the two parties, two consenting adults and so it has nothing to do with his authority over her. He can't take permission from the father of an adult lady who has willingly opened her legs for him. On the aspect of faithfulness, if we're going by your logic it means the girl has every right to Bleep any guy she sees and deems fit and thus turn herself into a prostitute. Isn't it better she stays faithful to one man in a proper RELATIONSHIP/COURTSHIP before he does the formal proceeding for marriage. Relationships/courtships are necessary for couples to know themselves properly before committing to marriage. And in this phase of relationship, it's expected that both parties are committed and loyal to each other. On the aspect of sex in relationship, I don't subscribe to it because it's not moral but again one can argue for the fact that it's of mutual consent and secondly, as a human you can't judge a man from a moral point of view because you also do immoral stuffs too...more like pot calling kettle black. His sins might be sexual, yours might be stealing or telling lies. Only God can morally judge a man.
So in every sense, that man was right to have expected a reasonable degree of loyalty from that girl he was in a relationship with, which I believe was a prelude to meeting her people formally for marriage. If she can't be faithful to him in a courtship then she won't be in marriage. Simple.

Pls don't waste ur precious time replying that moniker. Pls 🙏

MistyDense:
You will need the single mother More

Lol.....
So u women don't want your own male family to date single mother.....??
But when other women sons say they don't want single mother....yall start foaming in the mouth that men are the ones that made women single mothers..
... Is ur brother not part of men ??..... He must date this single mother oooo... And u should support her as a woman

MistyDense:
I'm telling you. Sincerity, loyalty and faithfulness in relationships have all been eroded. Everyone now sees relationship as a game of cheese. Who will outsmart who?

Everyone is not seeing it, it is what it is. But it is really saddening. Once I look at the past and I look at the present, I can’t imagine the future😩

I’m happy it’s a lady that created this topic. If it was a guy, they’ll be shouting another thread to bash ladies and exception of the boy’s hurt, I love how she’s also feeling the pains since it is her brother so she’ll understand our plight as guys👍👍👍

For the fact that you warned your brother not to go there and flog the hell out of her shows you're part of the problem. Spare the rod and spoil the child. Pikin wer misbehave supposed collect

drstranged:
I believe the so called fucking was of MUTUAL CONSENT between the two parties, two consenting adults and so it has nothing to do with his authority over her. He can't take permission from the father of an adult lady who has willingly opened her legs for him. On the aspect of faithfulness, if we're going by your logic it means the girl has every right to Bleep any guy she sees and deems fit and thus turn herself into a prostitute. Isn't it better she stays faithful to one man in a proper RELATIONSHIP/COURTSHIP before he does the formal proceeding for marriage. Relationships/courtships are necessary for couples to know themselves properly before committing to marriage. And in this phase of relationship, it's expected that both parties are committed and loyal to each other. On the aspect of sex in relationship, I don't subscribe to it because it's not moral but again one can argue for the fact that it's of mutual consent and secondly, as a human you can't judge a man from a moral point of view because you also do immoral stuffs too...more like pot calling kettle black. His sins might be sexual, yours might be stealing or telling lies. Only God can morally judge a man.
So in every sense, that man was right to have expected a reasonable degree of loyalty from that girl he was in a relationship with, which I believe was a prelude to meeting her people formally for marriage. If she can't be faithful to him in a courtship then she won't be in marriage. Simple.

Unlawfully phucking someone's daughter and demanding that she gives u 💯% accountability even when you're not yet a fiancee.
Just an ordinary boyfriend. U Guys are jokers!
What an entitlement!
U na get mind ooo
If that babe die for your apartment, wetin you go tell the Nigerian police?
Let's start from there first

APOPTOSIS:
Unlawfully phucking someone's daughter and demanding that she gives u 💯% accountability even when you're not yet a fiancee.
Just an ordinary boyfriend. U Guys are jokers!
What an entitlement!
U na get mind ooo
If that babe die for your apartment, wetin you go tell the Nigerian police?
Let's start from there first

What do you mean by unlawfully? How does consensual sex between two adults qualify as unlawful? You probably don't know what unlawful means. And then, talking about her dying in her boyfriend's place is off the point of discussion here. The argument is not about her sleeping in her boyfriend's place but about loyalty.
And if I'm to follow your logic again, maybe when you are engaged to or courting your future wife to be, (then going by your logic), it means she owes you no accountability or loyalty and is free to open her legs for whichever guy pleases her or to hawk herself for whichever guy or guys that are available and tick her boxes.

MistyDense:
Thanks so much brother. Thanks for your understanding. When I saw that guy's comment, I was really shocked. Sometimes I feel some potential nairalanders should take SANITY TEST before they become members of the forum, also there should be age restriction here, because sometimes whenever I read people's comment about a particular subject, I feel they don't have conscience

You crack my ribs with the bolded sis.
Honestly some of the comments on this forum nowadays point to low level of maturity of some of the members.

APOPTOSIS:
Someone is phucking Someone's daughter without due clearance and you are talking about faithfulness? 🙆🏾‍♂️🙆🏾‍♂️🙆🏾‍♂️🙆🏾‍♂️🙆🏾‍♂️. Faithfulness to who, please? A boyfriend not acknowledged or known by the father....Do you know that if that GaL dies in that so-called boyfriend apartment, that boy will be in grave danger ( homicide straight).
But if a wife dies in her husband's house, doors wouldn't be closed at the man most likely.
Think oooooo. I don't care what the gal does with her life, for that's her choice. It's for the boy to make his decision whether to go on or not. He has no iota of legal right over that GaL.
You Guys don't understand the "Law"

I believe you are catching cruise with the subject of discussion, because the comments I have read so far are actually ANTI-APTOPTOSIS!
What is happening? I see you as a bright mind when it comes to logical/critical reasoning (I follow your comments/thread unknowingly to you most times). Your response to Nairaland topics is always apt! This one get as e be o!
Hope you are good?