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Since we moved to the UK from Nigeria, its been a total change in situation. Whenever my wife and I have an argument, 3 ouf ot 5 times she will quickly pack her boxes and leave the house and then we resolve issue then comes back home or she comes back herself after her begging. Overtime now, she will just take few clothes and then drive off. Moreso its when we moved here that she started being domestically violent, using omo rogun, pestle to hit me, or slap me with left hand, or bite any part of my body. After we did marriage therapy session, I discussed all of these things, and she promised it will stop, but I just knew it in my heart that for her to have started to those traits, she wont stop. 2 days ago, we had an argument about her going to drop the kids at school without wearing pant and what she wore was a bit transparent, these are things we have talked about over and over again but she will end up doing it and tell me she feels comfortable without wearing pant.

A call came from my Nija friend, while talking i could overhear his gf grumbling in the background and some sort of argument started, he was now complaining to me about how his gf does not listen to him, shes always like a rebel, na him i dey advise am sey make she nor go marry nija girl now ooo, unless sey him dey sure, sey make him try to go other nationalities, this my woman dun dey back door dey hear me na so she show just push me comot for road, as i hold her hand na him she sey are u trying to hit me, omo na so she run enter room remove some clothes then drove out in her car, i come lock door based on sey as she dash out, she left the door wide open, i come go lock door with key, next thing i just see sey person enter house, all the way from where, from the back room window, she climb through window enter house, i try talk to her she slam door on me, she sha kuku drive out, i call her after 25mins, she nor pick, send whatsapp sey make i text am, i asked where the door key is, omo she ignore and didnt reply me. I left for work, 10mins after kids close school, my son called me and said mummy said i should call u to ask if ur at home or at work, i asked her why that is, she said to ask if i can pick them up. That day was my work day and her off day,in which na so we dey rotate am, but because she left the house she could not make it to pick the kids, the serious issue behind the above am talking about his, 3 weeks ago i was in nija for just 10 days, and the 9th day, my son was hit by her a car after school hours when she went to pick them, na barb i dey bard hair when she called me on video call laying down on a busy road that car has hit our daughter, i was calm and had faith, after taking her to the hospital all test came back good and was discharged same day, and after the traume she went through and myself and also the kids, cos my daughter who is my second witnessed this all scenario, madam promised she will never allow them walk home again, and i did same, but because of argument, she left the house and could not make it up while i was at work stating she went to fix her car. The parol enter my marrow, i come see sey since the kids nor even really matter to her, wetin come remain for the union, guys guys girls...take care.

When madam vex na where she dey even go...?


Na wah o. Me sef short of words and advice!

Oga, you don carry wetin pass you. She’s just been pretending all this while, and now that she has gotten what she wanted, her true colors are beginning to show. Marriage no be for pretenders o, it’s for people with strong hearts, patience, and genuine love. If one person dey fake, e go soon clear because time always reveals character. Na why dem dey talk say marriage no be for boys and girls, na for men and women wey sabi endurance and truth.

sometimes it's beyond your arguments, just let her leave the house, whenever she wants to. Put her in prayers

Can't you see she's deliberately frustrating you and being violent on purpose?

She has checked out of the marriage and their is a third party involved. A lot of marriages in the UK are like that. Negotiate or move on.

When some of us here warned that men should not take their wives abroad, I'm sure you were among those that called us misogynists. Now it has happened to you and you're crying. My friend, carry your cross and I hope others like you will learn a lesson. Very soon, she will claim you are abusing her and the government will send you out of your own house and possibly back home too. It's not my prayer for you but the situation you are in now is heading that way so brace up.

Nonexisting1:
[b]When some of us here warned that men should not take their wives abroad, I'm sure you were among those that called us misogynists. [/b]Now it has happened to you and you're crying. My friend, carry your cross and I hope others like you will learn a lesson. Very soon, she will claim you are abusing her and the government will send you out of your own house and possibly back home too. It's not my prayer for you but the situation you are in now is heading that way so brace up.

What's the use of caging anyone against their will sef...?

These abroad people una wahala to much sef, everyday complain!

Abeg make person hear word for una

Nonexisting1:
When some of us here warned that men should not take their wives abroad, I'm sure you were among those that called us misogynists. Now it has happened to you and you're crying. My friend, carry your cross and I hope others like you will learn a lesson. Very soon, she will claim you are abusing her and the government will send you out of your own house and possibly back home too. It's not my prayer for you but the situation you are in now is heading that way so brace up.

The funny thing is that she is using a well known tactic that women have been using for years to set their partners up.

1. He always locks me out of the house and I have to go through the window atimes.

2. He abuses me all the time, belittles me, accuses me of cheating and always threatens to hit me. I have to go to my friends place atimes to feel safe ( Her friends will collaborate this story).

3. He is insecure, always call me to know where I am and if I do not pick immediately he shouts at me ( Any of her friends that have witnessed any of your calls will collaborate her story).

4. If she is really heartless she might add that you force yourself on her atimes which makes her feel worthless and suicidal and have to go to her friend's place to feel safe. ( Her friends will)

5. Your kids might have heard you people argue one of those days that you want her to acknowledge any of her bad behaviours. The question will be like this " Have daddy ever shouted at mummy". The answer will be yes.

6. Stay safe bro.

Your immediate solution now is to be completely independent.
Cook your food, get a private transportation for your children, sleep in a different room from her and always spend your spare time with your children and friends or yourself only, try as much as possible to limit your conversations with her,
She will reset ASAP to wife status

Your own don finish patapata. How many times have guys been warned? Do not take a Nigerian woman abroad! Do you hate yourselves that much? Nigerian women?

Guy, get ready to chest what she's about to hammer you with. Your wife is setting you up for a huge disaster. Just start getting your affairs in order. So you don't get taken unawares. I'm sorry for you.

dbabs500:
➜....A call came from my Nija friend, while talking i could overhear his gf grumbling in the background and some sort of argument started, he was now complaining to me about how his gf does not listen to him, shes always like a rebel, na him i dey advise am sey make she nor go marry nija girl now ooo, unless sey him dey sure, sey make him try to go other nationalities, this my woman dun dey back door dey hear me na so she show just push me comot for road, as i hold her hand na him she sey are u trying to hit me, omo na so she run enter room remove some clothes then drove out in her car, i come lock door based on sey as she dash out, she left the door wide open, i come go lock door with key, next thing i just see sey person enter house, all the way from where, from the back room window, she climb through window enter house, i try talk to her she slam door on me, she sha kuku drive out, i call her after 25mins, she nor pick, send whatsapp sey make i text am, i asked where the door key is, omo she ignore and didnt reply me. I left for work, 10mins after kids close school, my son called me and said mummy said i should call u to ask if ur at home or at work, i asked her why that is, she said to ask if i can pick them up. That day was my work day and her off day,in which na so we dey rotate am, but because she left the house she could not make it to pick the kids, the serious issue behind the above am talking about his, 3 weeks ago i was in nija for just 10 days, and the 9th day, my son was hit by her a car after school hours when she went to pick them, na barb i dey bard hair when she called me on video call laying down on a busy road that car has hit our daughter, i was calm and had faith, after taking her to the hospital all test came back good and was discharged same day, and after the traume she went through and myself and also the kids, cos my daughter who is my second witnessed this all scenario, madam promised she will never allow them walk home again, and i did same, but because of argument, she left the house and could not make it up while i was at work stating she went to fix her car. The parol enter my marrow, i come see sey since the kids nor even really matter to her, wetin come remain for the union, guys guys girls...take care.

What is the motive behind your telling us this about your wife? If you are ready to get a divorce, separate yourself from the environment asap, and be certain to seek shared custody of your kids, at least, so you do not come back to complain about her refusing your access to your kids, abeg!

JAOS:
Your immediate solution now is to be completely independent.
Cook your food, get a private transportation for your children, sleep in a different room from her and always spend your spare time with your children and friends or yourself only, try as much as possible to limit your conversations with her, She will reset ASAP to wife status

. You mean he should continue inflicting trauma on his kids' futures? He should make a solid decision on whether to leave the marriage or endure, like our elders in Nigeria typically advise women to do.

dbabs500:
Since we moved to the UK from Nigeria, its been a total change in situation. Whenever my wife and I have an argument, 3 ouf ot 5 times she will quickly pack her boxes and leave the house and then we resolve issue then comes back home or she comes back herself after her begging. Overtime now, she will just take few clothes and then drive off. Moreso its when we moved here that she started being domestically violent, using omo rogun, pestle to hit me, or slap me with left hand, or bite any part of my body. After we did marriage therapy session, I discussed all of these things, and she promised it will stop, but I just knew it in my heart that for her to have started to those traits, she wont stop. 2 days ago, we had an argument about her going to drop the kids at school without wearing pant and what she wore was a bit transparent, these are things we have talked about over and over again but she will end up doing it and tell me she feels comfortable without wearing pant.

A call came from my Nija friend, while talking i could overhear his gf grumbling in the background and some sort of argument started, he was now complaining to me about how his gf does not listen to him, shes always like a rebel, na him i dey advise am sey make she nor go marry nija girl now ooo, unless sey him dey sure, sey make him try to go other nationalities, this my woman dun dey back door dey hear me na so she show just push me comot for road, as i hold her hand na him she sey are u trying to hit me, omo na so she run enter room remove some clothes then drove out in her car, i come lock door based on sey as she dash out, she left the door wide open, i come go lock door with key, next thing i just see sey person enter house, all the way from where, from the back room window, she climb through window enter house, i try talk to her she slam door on me, she sha kuku drive out, i call her after 25mins, she nor pick, send whatsapp sey make i text am, i asked where the door key is, omo she ignore and didnt reply me. I left for work, 10mins after kids close school, my son called me and said mummy said i should call u to ask if ur at home or at work, i asked her why that is, she said to ask if i can pick them up. That day was my work day and her off day,in which na so we dey rotate am, but because she left the house she could not make it to pick the kids, the serious issue behind the above am talking about his, 3 weeks ago i was in nija for just 10 days, and the 9th day, my son was hit by her a car after school hours when she went to pick them, na barb i dey bard hair when she called me on video call laying down on a busy road that car has hit our daughter, i was calm and had faith, after taking her to the hospital all test came back good and was discharged same day, and after the traume she went through and myself and also the kids, cos my daughter who is my second witnessed this all scenario, madam promised she will never allow them walk home again, and i did same, but because of argument, she left the house and could not make it up while i was at work stating she went to fix her car. The parol enter my marrow, i come see sey since the kids nor even really matter to her, wetin come remain for the union, guys guys girls...take care.

Why your madam de behave like something de possess her?
Try to de pray for her, before she will run mad.

Nonexisting1:
When some of us here warned that men should not take their wives abroad, I'm sure you were among those that called us misogynists. Now it has happened to you and you're crying. My friend, carry your cross and I hope others like you will learn a lesson. Very soon, she will claim you are abusing her and the government will send you out of your own house and possibly back home too. It's not my prayer for you but the situation you are in now is heading that way so brace up.

There’s nothing wrong with going with the whole family.
We still have some African families enjoying their marriage.
While some are mentally unstable 🤣

dbabs500:
Since we moved to the UK from Nigeria, its been a total change in situation. Whenever my wife and I have an argument, 3 ouf ot 5 times she will quickly pack her boxes and leave the house and then we resolve issue then comes back home or she comes back herself after her begging. Overtime now, she will just take few clothes and then drive off. Moreso its when we moved here that she started being domestically violent, using omo rogun, pestle to hit me, or slap me with left hand, or bite any part of my body. After we did marriage therapy session, I discussed all of these things, and she promised it will stop, but I just knew it in my heart that for her to have started to those traits, she wont stop. 2 days ago, we had an argument about her going to drop the kids at school without wearing pant and what she wore was a bit transparent, these are things we have talked about over and over again but she will end up doing it and tell me she feels comfortable without wearing pant.

A call came from my Nija friend, while talking i could overhear his gf grumbling in the background and some sort of argument started, he was now complaining to me about how his gf does not listen to him, shes always like a rebel, na him i dey advise am sey make she nor go marry nija girl now ooo, unless sey him dey sure, sey make him try to go other nationalities, this my woman dun dey back door dey hear me na so she show just push me comot for road, as i hold her hand na him she sey are u trying to hit me, omo na so she run enter room remove some clothes then drove out in her car, i come lock door based on sey as she dash out, she left the door wide open, i come go lock door with key, next thing i just see sey person enter house, all the way from where, from the back room window, she climb through window enter house, i try talk to her she slam door on me, she sha kuku drive out, i call her after 25mins, she nor pick, send whatsapp sey make i text am, i asked where the door key is, omo she ignore and didnt reply me. I left for work, 10mins after kids close school, my son called me and said mummy said i should call u to ask if ur at home or at work, i asked her why that is, she said to ask if i can pick them up. That day was my work day and her off day,in which na so we dey rotate am, but because she left the house she could not make it to pick the kids, the serious issue behind the above am talking about his, 3 weeks ago i was in nija for just 10 days, and the 9th day, my son was hit by her a car after school hours when she went to pick them, na barb i dey bard hair when she called me on video call laying down on a busy road that car has hit our daughter, i was calm and had faith, after taking her to the hospital all test came back good and was discharged same day, and after the traume she went through and myself and also the kids, cos my daughter who is my second witnessed this all scenario, madam promised she will never allow them walk home again, and i did same, but because of argument, she left the house and could not make it up while i was at work stating she went to fix her car. The parol enter my marrow, i come see sey since the kids nor even really matter to her, wetin come remain for the union, guys guys girls...take care.

baba, I hate to say this, but Meehn, your madam dey cut shoe out side.. have u ever asked yourself where she goes too whenever u guys fight? That right na excuse for her to leave and go do her thing. If u nor gree fight, she go make sure sey she fight u one way other to get reason to leave the house.

What I think you should do is, put a tracking device in her car.. find one excuse start fight make u see where she go dey waka go.. front there u go confirm Wetin u need confirm.

Sometimes you need to forget how you feel and remember what you deserve... Don't allow any woman to treat you poorly just because of love or in the name of marriage. How your wife had treated you is not how women treat men in Africa, the country or current location might be different, but your heritage remains the same... Stand your grand and call a spade a spade and if the spade is not going to change , change the player before the player changes you

Ohh well…you wanna wait until she eventually uses the pestle on you?
You live in a haunted house sir.

brain54:
When madam vex na where she dey even go...?


Na wah o. Me sef short of words and advice!

Most people see these red flags at relationship stage and ignore it to the extent that you even marry her.

Babe wey small argument, she go comot. Hang out with friends all day, no return your text/call. Na hin you go wife lol. OYO

There is a third party influencing your wife, making her act the way she is acting towards you.
@OP I think you're the carefree type, cos the first thing you should have done was to find out about her whereabouts whenever she leaves the house. If the third party is a guy, she'll look forward to fights with you so she can leave to be with him.

Once you give woman chance she will start to take chances. She don test you see say you no tough enough

The few times i found out where she goes to is her friends house, shes married too but they are best of friends, and shes one of those that advises my woman on certain decision she has made in the past, i dont accept her as a known person because I have heard everything she has been talking behind my back, my madam listens to this person more than I do. Life here bro, most men dey feel this heat, plenty nor dey talk. Funny thing is, after she dashes out, hours later she go come wan use style dey beg, i cant imagine her sending her friends husband to come and beg me, person wey i nor too dey relate with. Marriage is high standard and it is also a high set up.

dbabs500:
The few times i found out where she goes to is her friends house, shes married too but they are best of friends, and shes one of those that advises my woman on certain decision she has made in the past, i dont accept her as a known person because I have heard everything she has been talking behind my back, my madam listens to this person more than I do. Life here bro, most men dey feel this heat, plenty nor dey talk. Funny thing is, after she dashes out, hours later she go come wan use style dey beg, i cant imagine her sending her friends husband to come and beg me, person wey i nor too dey relate with. Marriage is high standard and it is also a high set up.

Marriage is not by force, so stop making it sound like it is.

Right as I type, early this afternoon, she kept sending messages that she wants to move to another location if her place of work branch will give her hours, sey she dont mind to pay the rest herself taking custody of the kids sey make we end this thing amicably . I just maintained my silence and did not say a word. Today will be the 3rd day am sleeping in the living room. My spirit in a certain way feels more safer away for a while.

dbabs500:
➜Right as I type, early this afternoon, she kept sending messages that she wants to move to another location if her place of work branch will give her hours, sey she dont mind to pay the rest herself taking custody of the kids sey make we end this thing amicably . I just maintained my silence and did not say a word. Today will be the 3rd day am sleeping in the living room. My spirit in a certain way feels more safer away for a while.

She will take full custody of the kids or she will share custody with you? If she takes full custody, I hope you know that you will have no reason then to complain that she is the one denying you access to your kids, right?

Abeg, tell that woman make she come on Nairaland abi na Reddit come tell us her side of the story, abeg!

Kobojunkie:
She will take full custody of the kids or she will share custody with you? If she takes full custody, I hope you know that you will have no reason then to complain that she is the one denying you access to your kids, right?

Abeg, tell that woman make she come on Nairaland abi na Reddit come tell us her side of the story, abeg!

She wants to take full custody the way she's talking, however it just wont work out now, the kids are top priority, so i will never walk away from them no matter what.

dbabs500:
➜She wants to take full custody the way she's talking, however it just wont work out now, the kids are top priority, so i will never walk away from them no matter what.

Well, she made the move first, so you should get yourself a lawyer to fight for shared custody at least. With shared custody, you can see your kids at least 2 weeks a month, as opposed to you depending on her to make time for you to see the kids on her schedule.