₦airaland Forum

dbabs500:
..... , she climb through window enter house

This is where I stopped reading.

Good luck with YOUR MISSING RIB. 👍🏽

You go soon end up in jail if you continue to play with fire with your unstable partner.

louken:
✓Young lady, this is the advice someone dropped and you quickly countered it:
Your immediate solution now is to be completely independent.
Cook your food, get a private transportation for your children, sleep in a different room from her and always spend your spare time with your children and friends or yourself only, try as much as possible to limit your conversations with her,
She will reset ASAP to wife status
Now tell me, if you ain't already biased towards your gender, how this advice translates to what you are asserting?
Dude doesn't want to vacate the house for the woman. Why are you so irked about that?

My guess is the reason you give him this sort of advice is because you have yourself never done any of what you advise or been a child in such a situation.

Kobojunkie:
My guess is the reason you give him this sort of advice is because you have yourself never done any of what you advise or been a child in such a situation.

I also want to know if you have been in such situation, either as a kid or parent, that made you feel your advice/opinion is superior to other people's own.

Mentholated:
The funny thing is that she is using a well known tactic that women have been using for years to set their partners up.

1. He always locks me out of the house and I have to go through the window atimes.

2. He abuses me all the time, belittles me, accuses me of cheating and always threatens to hit me. I have to go to my friends place atimes to feel safe ( Her friends will collaborate this story).

3. He is insecure, always call me to know where I am and if I do not pick immediately he shouts at me ( Any of her friends that have witnessed any of your calls will collaborate her story).

4. If she is really heartless she might add that you force yourself on her atimes which makes her feel worthless and suicidal and have to go to her friend's place to feel safe. ( Her friends will)

5. Your kids might have heard you people argue one of those days that you want her to acknowledge any of her bad behaviours. The question will be like this " Have daddy ever shouted at mummy". The answer will be yes.

6. Stay safe bro.

Omor your story dey touch heart o buh I think you should rather quit toxic marriage instead of thinking that things will change.
1. She's on drug maybe initiated into it by her friends.
2. She's a male friend that she runs to to cool off after the violence.
3. She wants to implicate in order for to be deported for allegation of domestic violence.
Make records or videos of her violence act against for your children when they grow up in case if she wants to feed them with conspiracies.
You can quit bro, you already have children so you may not need marriage again buh if you can endure till eternity then, good luck.

dbabs500:
Right as I type, early this afternoon, she kept sending messages that she wants to move to another location if her place of work branch will give her hours, sey she dont mind to pay the rest herself taking custody of the kids sey make we end this thing amicably . I just maintained my silence and did not say a word. Today will be the 3rd day am sleeping in the living room. My spirit in a certain way feels more safer away for a while.

I know that two things are still holding you- her beauty and afraid of paying child care welfare fees or probably losing access to your children.

Dyfynezz12:
The first thing men should understand abt women is once they start contributing a lot to family expenses or a large chunk of their money,their body will start peppering them thats a big reason why most of them start misbehaving when they travel out with their family.
I have seen firsthand instance of this

Bro you don't need to say it, I'm a living witness just in a relationship not even marriage o I've given her boundaries since then even after her coming to beg.

Diamond098454:
We haven't heard her own side of the story but all the same. Maybe she's paying back all the evil you did to her years ago, have you cheated on her before ? Which i know the answer is YES because you are a man so, this is pay back time your administration has ended it's her time rule

Men always quick to cry when they have not seen anything yet.

Another feminist spotted

Peacecore:
Bro you don't need to say it, I'm a living witness just in a relationship not even marriage o I've given her boundaries since then even after her coming to beg.

Yes,as a man its very dangerous for ur woman to earn more than u

Dyfynezz12:
➜Yes,as a man its very dangerous for ur woman to earn more than u

If your dick is bruised by your woman earning more than you do, then you are not a man but a boy pretending to be a man.

Its been a rollercoaster ride, the bottom line of her own point is that, when she tried to walked out, why didnt i stop her, fight for her not to stump out, that it shows that i dont love her and if i dont, why then are we still together, I just weak sey which kind old manipulation be this when the FM dun cast. She went as using her males friend information as her partner to book for a house in another town where she claimed she wanted to move to, now shes saying we should work things out, the rollercoaster continues, and winter has just started. It is just well.

dbabs500:
➜Its been a rollercoaster ride, the bottom line of her own point is that, when she tried to walked out, why didnt i stop her, fight for her not to stump out, that it shows that i dont love her and if i dont, why then are we still together, I just weak sey which kind old manipulation be this when the FM dun cast....

She has told you her side of things, leaving it up to you to make the next move, I guess. Again, if you have decided on divorce as the best path forward, then let her know and be sure to get yourself a good lawyer so you can get shared custody of your kids.

dbabs500:
Its been a rollercoaster ride, the bottom line of her own point is that, when she tried to walked out, why didnt i stop her, fight for her not to stump out, that it shows that i dont love her and if i dont, why then are we still together, I just weak sey which kind old manipulation be this when the FM dun cast. She went as using her males friend information as her partner to book for a house in another town where she claimed she wanted to move to, now shes saying we should work things out, the rollercoaster continues, and winter has just started. It is just well.

Your story is beginning to sound unreal but I still believe you are telling the truth out of courtesy.

Your wife and her colleague rented another apartment in another town 🤣🤣🤣🤣

MOVE ON!!!!!!!

dbabs500:
Its been a rollercoaster ride, the bottom line of her own point is that, when she tried to walked out, why didnt i stop her, fight for her not to stump out, that it shows that i dont love her and if i dont, why then are we still together, I just weak sey which kind old manipulation be this when the FM dun cast. She went as using her males friend information as her partner to book for a house in another town where she claimed she wanted to move to, now shes saying we should work things out, the rollercoaster continues, and winter has just started. It is just well.

It breaks my heart seeing couples who were once deeply in love, fight and divorce

BRW, how do u allow your wife keep male friends? Na there see finish start

Dyfynezz12:
Yes,as a man its very dangerous for ur woman to earn more than u

Sure

Mentholated:
Your story is beginning to sound unreal but I still believe you are telling the truth out of courtesy.

Your wife and her colleague rented another apartment in another town 🤣🤣🤣🤣

MOVE ON!!!!!!!

You didnt follow my posts well, when she cooled off after stumping off the house for 6 hours, she then sent her friends husband to beg me, I wanted to listen but i was at work and could not talk, told him i will call back. But it seemed she took it the other way round that I didnt want to accept apology is why i discharged his friends wife, so therefore if am not fighting for her or not reconciling at her own time it then means i dont love her so she want to relocate to another location cheaper for housing, but since she know sey i wont drop my reference for housing agency for us to collect the house, she decided to ask her male friend to form as partner to submit his details to get the house, but as we dun slowly resolve things, the plan faltered, but she told me after that she took that step, said wont be nice if i found out eventually and she didnt tell me. Life

dbabs500:
Its been a rollercoaster ride, the bottom line of her own point is that, when she tried to walked out, why didnt i stop her, fight for her not to stump out, that it shows that i dont love her and if i dont, why then are we still together, I just weak sey which kind old manipulation be this when the FM dun cast. She went as using her males friend information as her partner to book for a house in another town where she claimed she wanted to move to, now shes saying we should work things out, the rollercoaster continues, and winter has just started. It is just well.

There is a romantic interest male third party involved, it could be ongoing or potential, this may be from Nigeria, ex, her school or work place. It may even be the husband of the friend you claimed she goes to stay.

i am imagining a lady about 25-31years, but her emotional intelligence is like that of a 16 year old. She is cheating emotionally at the very least, although she may be cheating physically too, what you said now confirms my fear. You have to be firm but less talk, less raising of voice. Let her know she is approaching the final busstop. Prepare for life without her as your wife. Your story suggest a wife not just weak emotionally, but other forms of intelligence is not her strength. Males friend information as her partner to book a house how did you get to know that information ? what sort of male friend is that? if this story is not cooked up, something suggest to me you are also weak .

dbabs500:
You didnt follow my posts well, when she cooled off after stumping off the house for 6 hours, she then sent her friends husband to beg me, I wanted to listen but i was at work and could not talk, told him i will call back. But it seemed she took it the other way round that I didnt want to accept apology is why i discharged his friends wife, so therefore if am not fighting for her or not reconciling at her own time it then means i dont love her so she want to relocate to another location cheaper for housing, but since she know sey i wont drop my reference for housing agency for us to collect the house, she decided to ask her male friend to form as partner to submit his details to get the house, but as we dun slowly resolve things, the plan faltered, but she told me after that she took that step, said wont be nice if i found out eventually and she didnt tell me. Life

Any adult male or female that understands marriage in the UK will tell you how this will most likely end.

What you have been describing (if you are truthful) is a failing toxic marriage.

Stay safe bro.

Update us in 6 months time.

emiye:
There is a romantic interest male third party involved, it could be ongoing or potential, this may be from Nigeria, ex, her school or work place. It may even be the husband of the friend you claimed she goes to stay.

i am imagining a lady about 25-31years, but her emotional intelligence is like that of a 16 year old. She is cheating emotionally at the very least, although she may be cheating physically too, what you said now confirms my fear. You have to be firm but less talk, less raising of voice. Let her know she is approaching the final busstop. Prepare for life without her as your wife. Your story suggest a wife not just weak emotionally, but other forms of intelligence is not her strength. Males friend information as her partner to book a house how did you get to know that information ? what sort of male friend is that? if this story is not cooked up, something suggest to me you are also weak .

If you read through my last post you will see my explanation there. I for one suspected a third party, but unsure of what the third party is or where he/she might be located. She keeps claiming she wants a happy home and that if we cant phantom archeiving that, its best we part ways, she and she have been on this rampage of separation in the last couple of months, its sickening to see that happen when now in the UK. I have also checked out of this in my mind too, but the kids are just going to be the ones to suffer this, though so many people would say the kids have their own life to live, you have to look after yourself, but then its easier said than done. How I got to find out that she used her male friends info to book the property. I called her from work a day after the brouhaha, I wanted to ask her where she went to after she stumped out and came back 6 hours later which eventually resulted to her new mercedes benz stop on the road for it to be removed from the road by towing service, am a very traditional person, my mind was telling me her waka nor pure na why her car spoil for road, but something told me not to bother asking that if she thought I suspected her movement, she would then still use the same pattern in the future to get my mind wandering where she is at, so i told her not to bother, that i will ask her later. So it seems she thought I knew already, cos she knows my capability, so she was the one that called my attention to it. Firstly asked me what I wanted to tell her, I said she should not bother, she now said oh well, I used (name) as my partner for the booking of the house since she knew i wont agree to it, so she decided to ask him to help get it done, that how how I knew. The guy is a male friend at her work place, married guy oo, but na small boy of like 33, he is also married and his wife works in the same place with my madam as well. Omo its complicated. I wanted to confront this guy from wayback, but most times its always not good to make this sort of approach, but then, what do I know.

And suddenly he's now the saint,see how he cleverly absorb himself from any wrongdoing.





Kweke!!!

Mentholated:
The funny thing is that she is using a well known tactic that women have been using for years to set their partners up.

1. He always locks me out of the house and I have to go through the window atimes.

2. He abuses me all the time, belittles me, accuses me of cheating and always threatens to hit me. I have to go to my friends place atimes to feel safe ( Her friends will collaborate this story).

3. He is insecure, always call me to know where I am and if I do not pick immediately he shouts at me ( Any of her friends that have witnessed any of your calls will collaborate her story).

4. If she is really heartless she might add that you force yourself on her atimes which makes her feel worthless and suicidal and have to go to her friend's place to feel safe. ( Her friends will)

5. Your kids might have heard you people argue one of those days that you want her to acknowledge any of her bad behaviours. The question will be like this " Have daddy ever shouted at mummy". The answer will be yes.

6. Stay safe bro.

Damn! Same script that was played on my uncle before he became suicidal in that same UK. From ur number 1 to number 6, it all checks out. Well, he’s dead now and the woman and children have all moved on.

dbabs500:
Since we moved to the UK from Nigeria, its been a total change in situation. Whenever my wife and I have an argument, 3 ouf ot 5 times she will quickly pack her boxes and leave the house and then we resolve issue then comes back home or she comes back herself after her begging. Overtime now, she will just take few clothes and then drive off. Moreso its when we moved here that she started being domestically violent, using omo rogun, pestle to hit me, or slap me with left hand, or bite any part of my body. After we did marriage therapy session, I discussed all of these things, and she promised it will stop, but I just knew it in my heart that for her to have started to those traits, she wont stop. 2 days ago, we had an argument about her going to drop the kids at school without wearing pant and what she wore was a bit transparent, these are things we have talked about over and over again but she will end up doing it and tell me she feels comfortable without wearing pant.

A call came from my Nija friend, while talking i could overhear his gf grumbling in the background and some sort of argument started, he was now complaining to me about how his gf does not listen to him, shes always like a rebel, na him i dey advise am sey make she nor go marry nija girl now ooo, unless sey him dey sure, sey make him try to go other nationalities, this my woman dun dey back door dey hear me na so she show just push me comot for road, as i hold her hand na him she sey are u trying to hit me, omo na so she run enter room remove some clothes then drove out in her car, i come lock door based on sey as she dash out, she left the door wide open, i come go lock door with key, next thing i just see sey person enter house, all the way from where, from the back room window, she climb through window enter house, i try talk to her she slam door on me, she sha kuku drive out, i call her after 25mins, she nor pick, send whatsapp sey make i text am, i asked where the door key is, omo she ignore and didnt reply me. I left for work, 10mins after kids close school, my son called me and said mummy said i should call u to ask if ur at home or at work, i asked her why that is, she said to ask if i can pick them up. That day was my work day and her off day,in which na so we dey rotate am, but because she left the house she could not make it to pick the kids, the serious issue behind the above am talking about his, 3 weeks ago i was in nija for just 10 days, and the 9th day, my son was hit by her a car after school hours when she went to pick them, na barb i dey bard hair when she called me on video call laying down on a busy road that car has hit our daughter, i was calm and had faith, after taking her to the hospital all test came back good and was discharged same day, and after the traume she went through and myself and also the kids, cos my daughter who is my second witnessed this all scenario, madam promised she will never allow them walk home again, and i did same, but because of argument, she left the house and could not make it up while i was at work stating she went to fix her car. The parol enter my marrow, i come see sey since the kids nor even really matter to her, wetin come remain for the union, guys guys girls...take care.

She dey do 4uck another dude
Na excuse she dey use commot

dbabs500:
If you read through my last post you will see my explanation there. I for one suspected a third party, but unsure of what the third party is or where he/she might be located. She keeps claiming she wants a happy home and that if we cant phantom archeiving that, its best we part ways, she and she have been on this rampage of separation in the last couple of months, its sickening to see that happen when now in the UK. I have also checked out of this in my mind too, but the kids are just going to be the ones to suffer this, though so many people would say the kids have their own life to live, you have to look after yourself, but then its easier said than done. How I got to find out that she used her male friends info to book the property. I called her from work a day after the brouhaha, I wanted to ask her where she went to after she stumped out and came back 6 hours later which eventually resulted to her new mercedes benz stop on the road for it to be removed from the road by towing service, am a very traditional person, my mind was telling me her waka nor pure na why her car spoil for road, but something told me not to bother asking that if she thought I suspected her movement, she would then still use the same pattern in the future to get my mind wandering where she is at, so i told her not to bother, that i will ask her later. So it seems she thought I knew already, cos she knows my capability, so she was the one that called my attention to it. Firstly asked me what I wanted to tell her, I said she should not bother, she now said oh well, I used (name) as my partner for the booking of the house since she knew i wont agree to it, so she decided to ask him to help get it done, that how how I knew. The guy is a male friend at her work place, married guy oo, but na small boy of like 33, he is also married and his wife works in the same place with my madam as well. Omo its complicated. I wanted to confront this guy from wayback, but most times its always not good to make this sort of approach, but then, what do I know.

I am sorry you are going through all this, i live in the diaspora and between me and you, which normal guy if not a jerk will agree to go on a house lease in the UK with a married woman who he is aware to still be married? Only a complete jerk or someone carried away with the perks of friends with benefits. Do not confront the guy, but be more circumspect while you are in this, gather evidences as much as you can, mostly with out her knowledge. Evidences that can be validated and useful as posterity will serve your best interest. This sudden sharp change in behaviour is an adrenaline rush mostly from a new relationship or a big promise of one. She is foolishly feeling so wanted by a male that is not you. Do not appear so worried even if worried, that way she will let her guards down . I am deducing your personality the more i went through your posts and i can tell you seem to show you care more about the family than her and even your wife is not a spring chicken and may be closer to 40 or thereabout. When women start showing behaviors that suggest they are losing their head, they can do the unthinkable. Watch what you eat, drink e.t.c until you are sure she is on a uturn from a path of destruction. Dont get carried away with sex ooo. bug her phone and mail if you can. All the best.

emiye:
I am sorry you are going through all this, i live in the diaspora and between me and you, which normal guy if not a jerk will agree to go on a house lease in the UK with a married woman who he is aware to still be married? Only a complete jerk or someone carried away with the perks of friends with benefits. Do not confront the guy, but be more circumspect while you are in this, gather evidences as much as you can, mostly with out her knowledge. Evidences that can be validated and useful as posterity will serve your best interest. This sudden sharp change in behaviour is an adrenaline rush mostly from a new relationship or a big promise of one. She is foolishly feeling so wanted by a male that is not you. Do not appear so worried even if worried, that way she will let her guards down . I am deducing your personality the more i went through your posts and i can tell you seem to show you care more about the family than her and even your wife is not a spring chicken and may be closer to 40 or thereabout. When women start showing behaviors that suggest they are losing their head, they can do the unthinkable. Watch what you eat, drink e.t.c until you are sure she is on a uturn from a path of destruction. Dont get carried away with sex ooo. bug her phone and mail if you can. All the best.

I have not even made a move for sex for now sef, na she dey use style dey wan touch me for night, but seriously my libido for her seems a bit low. You are right, she can sacrifice her family for her happiness, she nor too send like that. If na man matter dey worry am, i go wait and see to her looseguard. She is 42 years of age. I have evidences of domestic abuse and emotional abuse, am prepared for the unexpected. Plan B sure for me, but I just have to execute it at the right time with enough resources.

Up until now shes still bringing the issue of moving, i now noticed where she wants us to move to is the same location this her female friend and her family are planning to move to. This is something u guys need to take a very close attention to, female friends influencing your wife Guys keep watch.

Bro ... the rights and dominance you have over a woman in Nigeria ... is what she has over you in the UK ...US etc. Women know this. If you're not good to them ... they will get back at you abroad. If you don't know them well ... they will use you to get abroad...then show their true colour.
In this case.... she packs up and leaves...sooo many times..but not once you mentioned anything about where she goes. Bro....she has another man ...she goes to his house. She has clothes there too...the reason she can only pick a few each time she leaves now. If you check...the few may be for party. I'm almost sure she picks fights on the day before her days off.....so she can spend the night and say off with her lover. If you do have sex.... she's not going to allow you the day before her day off...or the day she returns. Do I have to say why? She can report you for abuse and gave you kicked out the house but she hasn't. Why?... who's going to baby sit the kids? Your role is baby sitter.... she's now free to go sleepover whenever she gets the urge or whenever she gets that all. Why do you think when gone she can't talk?...only text? Do I need to say?
My advice to you is consider the marriage over....just play the role like she is . But most important ... run a DNA test on the kids.

A car hit your son or your daughter? Make up your mind which one it is. All these funny stories.

Originalsly:
Bro ... the rights and dominance you have over a woman in Nigeria ... is what she has over you in the UK ...US etc. Women know this. If you're not good to them ... they will get back at you abroad. If you don't know them well ... they will use you to get abroad...then show their true colour.
In this case.... she packs up and leaves...sooo many times..but not once you mentioned anything about where she goes. Bro....she has another man ...she goes to his house. She has clothes there too...the reason she can only pick a few each time she leaves now. If you check...the few may be for party. I'm almost sure she picks fights on the day before her days off.....so she can spend the night and say off with her lover. If you do have sex.... she's not going to allow you the day before her day off...or the day she returns. Do I have to say why? She can report you for abuse and gave you kicked out the house but she hasn't. Why?... who's going to baby sit the kids? Your role is baby sitter.... she's now free to go sleepover whenever she gets the urge or whenever she gets that all. Why do you think when gone she can't talk?...only text? Do I need to say?
My advice to you is consider the marriage over....just play the role like she is . But most important ... run a DNA test on the kids.

No bro, the few times that I know where she went to, it was to that her female friends place, however I noticed that this last time she dashed out, her friend was at work, she still spent 5hours out there before she came back home. Funny thing is, the los tremendous amount of weight within 4 days during this wahala. After we reconciled, 2days later she dun add that same weight back. I am confused.

dbabs500:
No bro, the few times that I know where she went to, it was to that her female friends place, however I noticed that this last time she dashed out, her friend was at work, she still spent 5hours out there before she came back home. Funny thing is, the los tremendous amount of weight within 4 days during this wahala. After we reconciled, 2days later she dun add that same weight back. I am confused.

I hear you. I would not be surprised if she calmed down a whole lot too. Just saying ... she dashed out out because she got word that another woman was at her lover's house... rushed over .. had some sort of confrontation ... talked it over with her informer... and calmed herself before returning home five hours later. The weight loss? ....stress. Weight gain? Either she worked things out with the lover...or she came to her senses and made up her mind to stick with you and family. If the former ...then she would soon storming out the house again as before. If the latter... then no more tantrums and storming out of the house. Time will tell.

dbabs500:
Since we moved to the UK from Nigeria, its been a total change in situation. Whenever my wife and I have an argument, 3 ouf ot 5 times she will quickly pack her boxes and leave the house and then we resolve issue then comes back home or she comes back herself after her begging. Overtime now, she will just take few clothes and then drive off. Moreso its when we moved here that she started being domestically violent, using omo rogun, pestle to hit me, or slap me with left hand, or bite any part of my body. After we did marriage therapy session, I discussed all of these things, and she promised it will stop, but I just knew it in my heart that for her to have started to those traits, she wont stop. 2 days ago, we had an argument about her going to drop the kids at school without wearing pant and what she wore was a bit transparent, these are things we have talked about over and over again but she will end up doing it and tell me she feels comfortable without wearing pant.

A call came from my Nija friend, while talking i could overhear his gf grumbling in the background and some sort of argument started, he was now complaining to me about how his gf does not listen to him, shes always like a rebel, na him i dey advise am sey make she nor go marry nija girl now ooo, unless sey him dey sure, sey make him try to go other nationalities, this my woman dun dey back door dey hear me na so she show just push me comot for road, as i hold her hand na him she sey are u trying to hit me, omo na so she run enter room remove some clothes then drove out in her car, i come lock door based on sey as she dash out, she left the door wide open, i come go lock door with key, next thing i just see sey person enter house, all the way from where, from the back room window, she climb through window enter house, i try talk to her she slam door on me, she sha kuku drive out, i call her after 25mins, she nor pick, send whatsapp sey make i text am, i asked where the door key is, omo she ignore and didnt reply me. I left for work, 10mins after kids close school, my son called me and said mummy said i should call u to ask if ur at home or at work, i asked her why that is, she said to ask if i can pick them up. That day was my work day and her off day,in which na so we dey rotate am, but because she left the house she could not make it to pick the kids, the serious issue behind the above am talking about his, 3 weeks ago i was in nija for just 10 days, and the 9th day, my son was hit by her a car after school hours when she went to pick them, na barb i dey bard hair when she called me on video call laying down on a busy road that car has hit our daughter, i was calm and had faith, after taking her to the hospital all test came back good and was discharged same day, and after the traume she went through and myself and also the kids, cos my daughter who is my second witnessed this all scenario, madam promised she will never allow them walk home again, and i did same, but because of argument, she left the house and could not make it up while i was at work stating she went to fix her car. The parol enter my marrow, i come see sey since the kids nor even really matter to her, wetin come remain for the union, guys guys girls...take care.

I don't pity your type, when I always say don't marry you think I don't know what am saying, if you hadn't married, you would have had peace. Make unna dey try dey hear word for this forum from people who have experience. Marriage adds nothing to any man, from problem to problem that is what you will be facing in your marriage.

You never talk about her parents or family . Obviously your not able to satisfy her sexually or she is just an ex hookup lady. Which ever way your facing consequences of marrying her type as a wife. Tell us how you met and why you married her despite other ladies available at the time. It may help us understand you and your wife better. What in her attracted you? Was it her hips or boobs or her skin colour. Any red flags ?