₦airaland Forum

sammiewrite:
➜Only people who want to be pressured will be pressured. I used to care, but not anymore. Most of these parents, uncles, aunties, sisters that are now burdening their sons, daughters, siblings etc. are the architect of their own misfortune when they stupidly believe that they were carrying out God's instructions of "be fruitful and multiply".
➜ In today’s economy, it takes an average of 20 million Naira to raise a child from infancy to 25 years. Yet you will see most poor families giving birth to three, four, five or more. Tell them about family planning, they will say their culture or religious belief forbids it. Talk to them about adoption, they will start looking at you like you are Adolf Hitler or Mussolini. We can pretend or try to shift blame all we want but this is the foundation of generational poverty in Africa.
Imagine having just two kids instead of four or five. The 20 million Naira average cost of raising one child, imagine just 5 million of that saved somewhere, or even investing it on behalf of your two kids. Like I always maintain, most Africans have no business with poverty only if they jettison their inclination to stupid traditional and religious idealogies and choose to be more rational and intentional about their lives.

Finally, someone who seeems to have gotten the original message in the OP. The majority of those who posted on the front page did so without bothering to reason the reality of things in their bid to heap praises on the very same culture that has, in the last 60 years, produced near no tangible benefit for the people that abide by it. Clearly, a lot of Nigerians out there believe they are created to serve culture and not culture created to serve them. 🙄🙄

2. No mind Nigerians!

youngrichnigga:
➜Same black tax that helped build many successful people is now being condemned. This same black tax applies in India, Bangladesh, South Africa etc and their societies have thriven because the system does it's part, here in Nigeria, the system that we all labor and serve does nothing but takes a large chunk of your earnings, giving back to your family that built you is no tax, the black tax is actually in the government that fails to support the society but rather,the society works for them

How many people did black tax build? Where? And please, do not post a list comprising individuals linked to Nigerian politicians or the sort.

kingdavid09:
➜Black tax has really hindered the progress of a lot of young persons. Most young persons are busy sorting the bills of parents, siblings and extended family members without any concrete plan or step towards self development which would have eventually given them the opportunity to earn more money.
➜In my situation, i was very lucky because my parents and siblings never had any financial expectation from until when i have been working for almost 10years, this window gave me the opportunity to lay solid foundation for my life and my immediate family. Today, i have the financial strength to render multiple assistance to friends, siblings , cousins and give lavishly to my parents without affecting my personal financial needs. We should allow young people to invest their initial earnings in self development, if we could refrain from overburdening them with financial request, there is a high possibility that they would be able to earn better in no distant time which would put them in a better position to offer financial assistance to their relatives, friends and dependents. .

Indeed it has! To the point that those who feel themselves entitled now parade themselves are success stories, even as they continue to cling strongly to the nipples of their so-called helpers.

2. Many of these folks are brainwashed from a young age by parasitic parents into taking duties and responsibilities they have no reason to.

I don't think I deviated from the topic. He is blaming our communal way of life for causing poverty and I countered his point with my own arguments.
This same family conscious culture is the secret behind the pulling of millions of Indians out of poverty. Do I talk about the Chinese?
Individualism is un-African and will not work. It's not who we are as Africans.

Dpsychologist:
Stay on the topic and counter the points not deviating abd talking about vices like yahoo, hookup and the rest.

Walai:
➜I don't think I deviated from the topic. He is blaming our communal way of life for causing poverty and I countered his point with my own arguments. This same family conscious culture is the secret behind the pulling of millions of Indians out of poverty.
➜ Do I talk about the Chinese? Individualism is un-African and will not work. It's not who we are as Africans.

The statement in bold is a lie! The approaches are not the same at all.

2. Individualism, though a new concept on the most part, has survived in Africa and so is just as African as anything else. The African society, with its cast systems, typically had groups that were considered outcasts, individuals who were forced to strive and thrive on their own, and these individuals did just that in that same Africa.

tctrills:
You don't really understand. Asian are much more closer to their families than you blacks and that's what makes them super competitive and successful in Europe and America.

Same with the Jews. These people prioritize family and community.
They invest in their family and community and it makes them successful.

It's not a black thing, it's a good thing

Black Americans on the other hand have destroyed the family system. Their men don't take care of their babies talk less of their parents and they have become a failed community.

The other groups you mentioned usually support the growth of family through business and mentorship not through incessant handouts and entitled demands.
And there is a huge difference.

I will give you a real life example to buttress my point.
A childhood friend came to me asking if I can come up with capital to start a business that he has competence in as a joint venture. So I will provide money and he will setup and operate the business in our behaves. I gave him about 4m over 7years ago and today the same business is thriving worth over 10m and I have also recieved more than the 4m I invested. He has bought and built a property for himself in a major city in Nigeria. He is now married and runs his family from the same business.
Now juxtapose with my own blood brother, on whom I have wasted money paying for a university program from which he has not still graduated almost 10years now.
He was manipulating me through my mum whom he knows I take good care of and will never disobey. He would collect money from me and still ask my mother to talk me into giving him more. or he just collects the money that I give her and making her broke. Which still requires me to give her more.
I gave him the only car that i was driving so that he can use it for Uber but the idiot was asking me to buy brand new tyres for the car.
I was pissed off. But it helped me see that I was wasting money on an entitled ingrate in the name of family.

I drew a hefty line in the sand and told him that the car is the last thing that I will ever give him and he can do with his life as he wishes.
I also told my mother not to ask me for money on his behalf directly or indirectly. I have stood my grounds now for over 2yrs.

My point is that one should only help those who are willing to help themselves not to patronise entitled ingrates in the name of family. That is some manipulating bullshit.

Note: I literally fought myself through life with God's favor, my mother's prayers and sheer grit.

My blessed popsy passed on when I was still young. May God bless his soul and send light to his grave. He was a great man and father.

I personally prefer being supportive to family and friends than the individualistic, self centred life that i have seen in Europe and America.

You go guide but your own family members and friends go kpai front hunger and lack.

Very recently, a friend's aunty kpai alone for over 4 days inside her apartment in London before dem smell her stench. She dey alone no family present and no family dey call her to check on her. And she has kids and grand kids. May be na ulcer kpai her sef

TrainPark:
➜The other groups you mentioned usually support the growth of family through business and mentorship not through incessant handouts and entitled demands. And there is a huge difference.
I will give you a real life example to buttress my point.
A childhood friend came to me asking if I can come up with capital to start a business that he has competence in as a joint venture. So I will provide money and he will setup and operate the business in our behaves. I gave him about 4m over 7years ago and today the same business is thriving worth over 10m and I have also recieved more than the 4m I invested. He has bought and built a property in a major city in Nigeria. He is now married and runs his family from the same business.
Now my own blood brother on whom I have wasted money paying for a university program from which he has not still graduated almost 10years now. He was manipulating me through my mum whom he knows I take good care of an will never disobey. He would collect money from me and still ask my mother to talk me into giving him more. or he just collects the money that I give her and making her broke. Which still requires me to give her more.
I gave him the only car that i was driving so that he can use it for Uber but the idiot was asking me to buy brand new tyres for the car. I was pissed off. But it helped me see that I was wasting money on an entitled ingrate in the name of family.
I drew a hefty line in the sand and told him that the car is the last thing that I will ever give him and he can do with his life as he wishes. I also told my mother not to ask me for money on his behalf directly or indirectly. I have stood my grounds now for over 2yrs.
➜ My point is that one should only help those who are willing to help themselves not to patronise entitled ingrates in the name of family. That is some manipulating bullshit.
Note: I literally fought myself through life with God's favor, my mother's prayers and sheer grit. My blessed popsy passed on when I was still young. May God bless his soul and send light to his grave. He was a great man and father.

Finally, someone who more clearly articulates the difference between what is generally obtainable among Africans who claim black tax is part of their culture vs what is seen in other cultures, i.e., Asian cultures. 🤔🤔

2. It is indeed nothing but pure manipulation and gaslighting involved in all of that which many here tag African culture.

Kobojunkie:
What people in Nigeria do I need to ask this? I hope not the same people who complain of PHCN not giving them electricity for many hours each week?

ask your mom bro

West10:
Your post hit me in a personal way, I'm currently in this situation...

1. Establish clear boundaries when you feel manipulated and overwhelmed.

2. The method that works for me is that I never send money for anything tagged "urgent". I always demand atleast One Month's prior 'to plan' notice before I send any money.
it is way family and friends manipulate you into making unplanned expenditure which always causes you to regret and disrupts your life and plans.

You no fit just wake up, impose artificial urgency on my life. It is your emergency not mine.

3. Never allow anybody to guilt you into giving them anything. It is not worth it and you don't even receive God's blessings for being manipulated into giving.

4. Beware and aware of manipulation from religious organisations especially Churches and gods of men!

This topic is a very emotional one and a very dicey one at that.
I will write a lengthy explanation on it and may break it into many commet section in other not to bore too much.
Firstly, we need to study the african culture and tradition because if we don't know where we are coming from, we won't know why we do things as we do currently.
Prior to now, the african tradition and culture was modelled on survival by watching each others back which stands as an INSURANCE for everyone involved.
In the absence of government and a monachy system that doesn't cater for individual survival, the african traditional model becomes the template of survival.
It is like pooling resources together to finance one person with the hope they suceed to pull someone up too and the chain reaction continues.

The bitter truth is that on the average, only a handful of humans can survive INDEPENDENTLY without external support whether western culture or other culture.
It is either the goverment (insurance/welfare etc) is cleaning up most people's mess or the family (black tax) is. A safety net template/model should be available else chaos will erupt.
The problem with african template is that if a proper system is not put in place to checkmate alot of excesses, it encourages Laziness, everlasting oppressive dependance, entitlement, irresponsibility etc

In african setting, it is more of i rub your back now so that you can rub my back tomorrow but then, the question is for how long and how many people will i rub their backs?

In the african setting, been irresponsible is accomodated and allowed reason while so many people who are not responsible could be able to marry and procreate without worrying about the blow-back.
A man marry and has several kids without any plans for them. He doesn't care how they survive. He wakes up, drops whatever he can to the woman while she provides the food the way and manner. The kids go out in the morning and comes back in the evening playing around and eating from houses to houses and this is how they will live till they grow and miracoulously, 1 out of many will breakthrough and virtually all the village/area will be looking up to him for years of raising him as a payback.
Iya biliki expecting handout from Bayo that just came back from spain who they had is now a footballer - Ohh, na me they give am afternoon food when him dey small they play ball around then.
The neighbours, church, extended family, friends would all be expecting handouts of various sizes from Bayo due to one favour or the other they had done in his life during the growing phase.
The question is, how many can Bayo really help? before runs out of gas himself

A man will give birth to many kids he can't afford to train by himself rather go give each to Oga Chinedu, Oga Ememka as sales boy/apprentice. The feeding, clothing etc of such child is not on the father again because someone else is picking up his slacks and covering his shames/irresponsibility while he hopes the child becomes rich and he can survive on him.
The female children? they pray a man rich enough comes for her hand so that they can use her as their own life insurance and leverage.
Black tax comes from the mentality that you are paying today for a tomorrow insurance just as someone paid yesterday for you.
A man dies in your village/town and your mother called you to send money as a quota for your family because others contributed to take your father from lagos to village to bury, they contributed to his medical bills in hospital and his burial.
E reach your turn to dey pay, you say you wan scatter the system.

Again, the african culture encourages irresponsibility.
We see this happen everytime and think it is normal but these are what leads to future black taxes.
A man will buy cat/dog/chickens he can not afford to raise rather open them to the street to be eating up and down and fending for themselves (something similar to birthing kids you can't raise and allowing them to eat up and down the street), if you question him while he didn't cage and feed the animals he claimed to like raising aka i like pets, they will become aggressive and say who are you to tell them what to do with their own life.
A man who doesn't care about raising his pets in a cage and feeding them is similar to those raising kids they can't afford to have.
In the long run, the black tax will come up

Datedoboy:
The major problem is that there is no proper care and continuous, reasonable monthly financial assistance for aged people in Africa. Once you're old, no African Government has a plan for you unlike Europe where you have homes for aged people. In fact many young people who japa, go to take care of aged people abroad while neglecting their parents. The issue is that, a parent that has taken care of you while you were young, will likely depend on you when old because the Government did not take care of them. If Government refuse to take care of our aged parents, and we refuse, who will take care of them? This is why politicians steal much because there are no systems to take care of them when they grow old and they refuse to set up such systems. The monster in the room is the slave wage and lack of care facilities for aged people. If you manage 3k to feed daily and we have 30 days in a month which equates to 90k asides transport and rent, and minimum wage is 70k, what does that tell you? 1. That there is a deliberate creation of poverty. 2. That people will steal more to survive and 3.people will suffer in old age because the Government has deliberately ensured that they don't save for their future. Least I forget, the passport which is your identity is now higher than the minimum wage and next year, inside that slave wage you will be taxed. Prepare for dark days ahead. Blame the Government not your poor parents

Let us stop pushing the blames all the time down the road to government.
No matter how we dress it, Parents have a sizeable role in Poverty continuation.
If your earnings is 70k per month, then IF you are going to marry, you will have to marry a working woman.
You shouldn't birth MORE than 1 kid....NO EXCUSES for this.
Pull resources with your wife to have alternative source of income.
Save and invest it over time and you are expected to be far better in future to were you started from.

Sayvick:
Don't you worry, it will soon be your turn. Because the whites don't do it means it is wrong in Africa.

It sounds like a good write-up to you, but you're completely wrong.

The whites have social net for every cadre of their citizens. If you are out of job, if you are sick, if you are old.

Africa has none, our family system is our social net, but you won't understand yet.

Grow a little more.

@ the bolded .....while it is good, it is not sustainable nor good enough in today's economic climate.
The question is, how much will family and friends be able to give you if you are out of job to sustain and float you back? most times not enough. Person wey give you 50k today, you don't expect to come back in 2/3 months time.
If family gather money and send to your wife as medical bill to support maybe 200k when hospital says you should deposit 500k, don't expect any from them again because they all have bills to pay.
You are old? how long do you expect them to keep feeding you?
The best system still remains to have as low kids as you can, both husband and wife working, enrole in insurance and pension as a better safety net option.
For example, i have a life insurance of 20k per month i am running. If something happens to me, they give my wife 12m. That is far far better than what family will give her as contribution, maybe 300k. You don't need to do that much. For a low income earner, a 5k life insurance will go alongway for them too, that should be about 3m.
Education insurance? for your kids incase the principal dies. It own't keep them out of school nor put the burden on extended family who may not continue the education or put them in local govt. schools.
A 5k eduinsurance will give your wife 250k yearly support for a kid and a lumpsum of 2.5m after 10 years to help run the child in govt uni in absence of principal.
Health insurance ? 60k per year for a family of 5 is okay for NHIS but you have to use it in govt hospitals and health centers for the low income earners instead of burdening struggling extended family.
Middle income earners can go for 230k for private HMOs like axa mansard and others that you can use for private hospitals.
It is all about awareness, careful planning and dedication.
Pension? a 20k per month pension between both partners over a 30 years period will give 70m naira if you start working in 30 and retires 60 years.
For a low income earner, that is a huge money. Withdraw that 70m pension and lock in a bond at 20% per annum, that person will be getting 1.2m every blessed month.
It is all about awareness bro.
This system is far better than relying on family safety net that is not sustainable

drkay:
This is the story of many hardworking young and middle age adults from low and middle class families.
It’s so much entrenched into our culture and societal norms that we need to lend a helping hand to in the family, who’s not doing so well.
Sometimes, it’s a thing of joy that we’re able to help our brothers and sisters,[b] pulling ourselves out of poverty. [/b]But this soon becomes very tiring and difficult to sustain.
It’s one of the few things that I gave up on. Parents are weak and can really play a very bad role when it comes to this, making things more difficult. Anyways. We do what we can do and leave what we can’t.

@ the first bolded ..... is this really true? they system as returned more helpers into poverty than it has raised out of poverty. We have so many stories of regrets of helpers who were so pre-occupied with trying to lift others up while they finally drown in the sea of poverty themselves.

emmaodet:
Again, the african culture encourages irresponsibility.
We see this happen everytime and think it is normal but these are what leads to future black taxes.
A man will buy cat/dog/chickens he can not afford to raise rather open them to the street to be eating up and down and fending for themselves (something similar to birthing kids you can't raise and allowing them to eat up and down the street), if you question him while he didn't cage and feed the animals he claimed to like raising aka i like pets, they will become aggressive and say who are you to tell them what to do with their own life.
A man who doesn't care about raising his pets in a cage and feeding them is similar to those raising kids they can't afford to have.
In the long run, the black tax will come up

Kikiki

TrainPark:
The other groups you mentioned usually support the growth of family through business and mentorship not through incessant handouts and entitled demands.
And there is a huge difference.

I will give you a real life example to buttress my point.
A childhood friend came to me asking if I can come up with capital to start a business that he has competence in as a joint venture. So I will provide money and he will setup and operate the business in our behaves. I gave him about 4m over 7years ago and today the same business is thriving worth over 10m and I have also recieved more than the 4m I invested. He has bought and built a property for himself in a major city in Nigeria. He is now married and runs his family from the same business.
Now juxtapose with my own blood brother, on whom I have wasted money paying for a university program from which he has not still graduated almost 10years now.
He was manipulating me through my mum whom he knows I take good care of and will never disobey. He would collect money from me and still ask my mother to talk me into giving him more. or he just collects the money that I give her and making her broke. Which still requires me to give her more.
I gave him the only car that i was driving so that he can use it for Uber but the idiot was asking me to buy brand new tyres for the car.
I was pissed off. But it helped me see that I was wasting money on an entitled ingrate in the name of family.

I drew a hefty line in the sand and told him that the car is the last thing that I will ever give him and he can do with his life as he wishes.
I also told my mother not to ask me for money on his behalf directly or indirectly. I have stood my grounds now for over 2yrs.

My point is that one should only help those who are willing to help themselves not to patronise entitled ingrates in the name of family. That is some manipulating bullshit.

Note: I literally fought myself through life with God's favor, my mother's prayers and sheer grit.

My blessed popsy passed on when I was still young. May God bless his soul and send light to his grave. He was a great man and father.

I personally prefer being supportive to family and friends than the individualistic, self centred life that i have seen in Europe and America.

You go guide but your own family members and friends go kpai front hunger and lack.

Very recently, a friend's aunty kpai alone for over 4 days inside her apartment in London before dem smell her stench. She dey alone no family present and no family dey call her to check on her. And she has kids and grand kids. May be na ulcer kpai her sef

So you are right, Asian support in business but it goes far beyond that. In the UK and in the US, they share accomodation. It is common to see an entire extended family staying together. They share almost everything. The bottom line is that these groups have a culture of investing in family and community.
We should not advocate for the killing of such culture in Africa. There is nothing wrong with helping and growing your family. It is something we should all engage in with joy.

emmaodet:
@ the first bolded ..... is this really true? they system as returned more helpers into poverty than it has raised out of poverty. We have so many stories of regrets of helpers who were so pre-occupied with trying to lift others up while they finally drown in the sea of poverty themselves.

Definitely, there are regrets and many sad stories out there. However, it’s still a viable way of helping people out of poverty when done with good strategies.
I have personally helped many of my family members, Some are doing great and some have repeatedly failed to make good use of the resources. I have given up on them and they know it. I rarely give them my money.
The most important thing is to know when to hold on or stop.
I still pay my parents their monthly allowance and I am happy to continue to pay them. Everybody’s stories differ.
They had none of the opportunities they gave me.

emmaodet:
Let us stop pushing the blames all the time down the road to government.
No matter how we dress it, Parents have a sizeable role in Poverty continuation.
If your earnings is 70k per month, then IF you are going to marry, you will have to marry a working woman.
You shouldn't birth MORE than 1 kid....NO EXCUSES for this.
Pull resources with your wife to have alternative source of income.
Save and invest it over time and you are expected to be far better in future to were you started from.

I understand your point and i am not pushing all the blame to the Government but the bulk is on their table. Going by what you said, if you earn 70k and you marry a hardworking woman who earn 100k. It is not so good for your wife to earn more than you but they won't teach you in school. . Let's assume you both have 170k. Do you think 170k will take care of you and your wife with one child in this present economy? Lol. The reason I will always add African governments is that the wages they set are poverty cycle wages and their policies are poverty escalation policies You can't grow plants no matter how much of a skillful farmer you are when the field is not fertile. If aged people have homes like in Europe and Government feeds them, will they depend much on you? Have you seen any home for elderly people in Africa? The Government knows that some pple are exceptional and will earn more money regardless, so they want the old parents to feed from the income of such ones so they can't be too rich. Like I said, if everyone don't assist their parents, will we be happy seeing them starve to death? What is the way out of poverty when a person can't even save 1 mil in 20years from 70k salary?

thinkmoney:
You most likely at several points too enjoyed the black tax

Exactly. He can't say he never benefited from it growing up, even if it was non-monetary. Now that it is his time to give back, he is writing an epistle.

emmaodet:
@ the bolded .....while it is good, it is not sustainable nor good enough in today's economic climate.
The question is, how much will family and friends be able to give you if you are out of job to sustain and float you back? most times not enough. Person wey give you 50k today, you don't expect to come back in 2/3 months time.
If family gather money and send to your wife as medical bill to support maybe 200k when hospital says you should deposit 500k, don't expect any from them again because they all have bills to pay.
You are old? how long do you expect them to keep feeding you?
The best system still remains to have as low kids as you can, both husband and wife working, enrole in insurance and pension as a better safety net option.
For example, i have a life insurance of 20k per month i am running. If something happens to me, they give my wife 12m. That is far far better than what family will give her as contribution, maybe 300k. You don't need to do that much. For a low income earner, a 5k life insurance will go alongway for them too, that should be about 3m.
Education insurance? for your kids incase the principal dies. It own't keep them out of school nor put the burden on extended family who may not continue the education or put them in local govt. schools.
A 5k eduinsurance will give your wife 250k yearly support for a kid and a lumpsum of 2.5m after 10 years to help run the child in govt uni in absence of principal.
Health insurance ? 60k per year for a family of 5 is okay for NHIS but you have to use it in govt hospitals and health centers for the low income earners instead of burdening struggling extended family.
Middle income earners can go for 230k for private HMOs like axa mansard and others that you can use for private hospitals.
It is all about awareness, careful planning and dedication.
Pension? a 20k per month pension between both partners over a 30 years period will give 70m naira if you start working in 30 and retires 60 years.
For a low income earner, that is a huge money. Withdraw that 70m pension and lock in a bond at 20% per annum, that person will be getting 1.2m every blessed month.
It is all about awareness bro.
This system is far better than relying on family safety net that is not sustainable

Thank you very much for the thorough breakdown.

Na why oyibo no dey get plenty savings because insurance covers everything.

Datedoboy:
I understand your point and i am not pushing all the blame to the Government but the bulk is on their table. Going by what you said, if you earn 70k and you marry a hardworking woman who earn 100k. It is not so good for your wife to earn more than you but they won't teach you in school. . Let's assume you both have 170k. Do you think 170k will take care of you and your wife with one child in this present economy? Lol. The reason I will always add African governments is that the wages they set are poverty cycle wages and their policies are poverty escalation policies You can't grow plants no matter how much of a skillful farmer you are when the field is not fertile. If aged people have homes like in Europe and Government feeds them, will they depend much on you? Have you seen any home for elderly people in Africa? The Government knows that some pple are exceptional and will earn more money regardless, so they want the old parents to feed from the income of such ones so they can't be too rich. [b]Like I said, if everyone don't assist their parents, will we be happy seeing them starve to death? What is the way out of poverty when a person can't even save 1 mil in 20years from 70k salary

The reason wages are low in most African countries is because we are not productive enough, we don't trade more finished goods with wealtheir countries and we are too populated. Wages are also low in Vietnam, Indonesia and India. Three countries characterised with high populations. The difference is that those countries especially Vietnam strive to attract foreign investmenet to produce finished goods. They too, the Vietnamese, produce finished goods and export to wealthier nations. Vietnam did $1.1BN in cassava exports to China. Nigeria no reach half, but we are the world's biggest grower of the crop.

You don't have to save 1m from a 70K salary. You increase your skills so you earn more, then save your higher earnings and set aside higher sums into pension, stocks and insurance.

So now that we know that the government has its fault in not promoting trade, why have too many children? Did Tinubu say people should have 500 children? Tinubu himself does not have 500 children.

lebete3000:
Na you still dey mumu if this is your case oh. The moment I realized this was the case when my elder sisters I once sent up to 400k said I didn't send them anything, I woke up!

Nobody told me to focus on my life first.

No worry you'll learn

My own mother was the one that woke me up!!
Every decision i made was centered around them, I earned well but I couldn't even eat fine because I put them first. She boldly said to me that other people do better than me and what have I done sef. She never appreciated anything I did it was like she intentionally showed no appreciation in order to make me do more. Lol
Nobody told me I had to learn the hard way when her words kept ringing in my head even when I am not with them. Now na by connection to even speak with me for phone. If I give 100k best believe I have kept 1m for myself. I take care of me first...

Traveller2025:
My own mother was the one that woke me up!!
Every decision i made was centered around them, I earned well but I couldn't even eat fine because I put them first. She boldly said to me that other people do better than me and what have I done sef. She never appreciated anything I did it was like she intentionally showed no appreciation in order to make me do more. Lol
Nobody told me I had to learn the hard way when her words kept ringing in my head even when I am not with them. Now na by connection to even speak with me for phone. If I give 100k best believe I have kept 1m for myself. I take care of me first...

It is that statement "what have you achieved? Others earning lesser are doing better than you OR what did you even do for us?"
Humans are generally ungrateful.
They will drain the last juice out of your soul and when they are finished with you, they will spit you out.
I am the first born and the breadwinner of the family too and constantly supporting the family for years has really dragged me down.
It got to a point, despite me earning well, my apartment just looked shaby like a teacher's house when those in civil service have better furnished rooms and houses than mine.
Clothes I no get, nice apartment I no get, drinking/clubbing/fornicating I wasn't doing, oya eat good food... Mbah despite earning well all because of family pressure.
The most painful part is even that those you have sacrificed so much for still didn't break even nor still able to stand fully on their own thereby wasting your efforts for years and making it look as if you never supported the family since your effort didn't yield any benefits.
It is very obvious that to push some people to properly stand on their own, you will need millions and millions of naira to really push them to that height of which by that time, you sef don gas up, broke and back to ground.
This African policy in a bid to raise more financially stable Africans has produced far more poor people sef

There is an unspoken truth about this Black Tax and that is, it is designed for the Principal to continuously slave away for others.
No one will admit it, many won't speak about it but it is there.
Reason why family will be codedly annoyed with you if you by that car, go on that vacation just to take a break from long years of billing to cool off, build that sweet fine house etc.
To them, why will the slave do that when there are so many family members still poor and need help.
Is he that blind? Can't he see Jide his cousin is out of school, uncle wale has been evicted from his apartment because he couldn't pay his rent, mum segun is in hospital and needs money etc
Of all the things on ground, it is that kind of car he went to go and buy when he could have gotten something small so that he can clear all these bills on ground.
Why is he so heartless.
I have been grumbling for months in his ears about how to roof my house and these are the things he is doing?
So many things to pour out honestly.
The Black tax is designed for you to live a life of penury at the expense of pulling others up because some people have decided to live a reckless and unplanned life with the hope a family member will cover their flanks

sammiewrite:
Only people who want to be pressured will be pressured. I used to care, but not anymore. Most of these parents, uncles, aunties, sisters that are now burdening their sons, daughters, siblings etc. are the architect of their own misfortune when they stupidly believe that they were carrying out God's instructions of "be fruitful and multiply".

In today’s economy, it takes an average of 20 million Naira to raise a child from infancy to 25 years. Yet you will see most poor families giving birth to three, four, five or more. Tell them about family planning, they will say their culture or religious belief forbids it. Talk to them about adoption, they will start looking at you like you are Adolf Hitler or Mussolini. We can pretend or try to shift blame all we want but this is the foundation of generational poverty in Africa.

You are the first Nigerian netizen commentator I have read analysed this childbearing from this angle. I have written here that childbearing is one thing, but training the child up to 18 and in most cases 25 takes an average 18 years to 25 years of the parent (usually the man) earnings. Now multiply by 4 or 5 children. This is why most families burden their working class children (who have low starting salaries) with financial requests here and there. Earnings these working class children should be saving gradually, investing small small and enjoying life jeje would be distributed across the family line simply because "i aM yOuR pArEnT".

Imagine having just two kids instead of four or five. The 20 million Naira average cost of raising one child, imagine just 5 million of that saved somewhere, or even investing it on behalf of your two kids. Like I always maintain, most Africans have no business with poverty only if they jettison their inclination to stupid traditional and religious idealogies and choose to be more rational and intentional about their lives.

At first, they blame the government and, rightfully so. But as the government is bad, why worsen things? For the past ten years, I have been preaching this. Posterity has always vindicated me. To them, rational thinking is bad so we live on hopes, vibes and God's will.

In fact, in Nigeria's current economic climate, new couples should have one child while saving their money, developing other hobbies, travelling, eating well and planning for retirement. As things improve on a personal level, they can add just one more child. I really don't see why the average Nigerian family should have more than two children.

Traveller2025:
My own mother was the one that woke me up!!
Every decision i made was centered around them, I earned well but I couldn't even eat fine because I put them first. She boldly said to me that other people do better than me and what have I done sef. She never appreciated anything I did it was like she intentionally showed no appreciation in order to make me do more. Lol
Nobody told me I had to learn the hard way when her words kept ringing in my head even when I am not with them. Now na by connection to even speak with me for phone. If I give 100k best believe I have kept 1m for myself. I take care of me first...

This is chilling

emmaodet:
@ the bolded .....while it is good, it is not sustainable nor good enough in today's economic climate.
The question is, how much will family and friends be able to give you if you are out of job to sustain and float you back? most times not enough. Person wey give you 50k today, you don't expect to come back in 2/3 months time.
If family gather money and send to your wife as medical bill to support maybe 200k when hospital says you should deposit 500k, don't expect any from them again because they all have bills to pay.
You are old? how long do you expect them to keep feeding you?
The best system still remains to have as low kids as you can, both husband and wife working, enrole in insurance and pension as a better safety net option.
For example, i have a life insurance of 20k per month i am running. If something happens to me, they give my wife 12m. That is far far better than what family will give her as contribution, maybe 300k. You don't need to do that much. For a low income earner, a 5k life insurance will go alongway for them too, that should be about 3m.
Education insurance? for your kids incase the principal dies. It own't keep them out of school nor put the burden on extended family who may not continue the education or put them in local govt. schools.
A 5k eduinsurance will give your wife 250k yearly support for a kid and a lumpsum of 2.5m after 10 years to help run the child in govt uni in absence of principal.
Health insurance ? 60k per year for a family of 5 is okay for NHIS but you have to use it in govt hospitals and health centers for the low income earners instead of burdening struggling extended family.
Middle income earners can go for 230k for private HMOs like axa mansard and others that you can use for private hospitals.
It is all about awareness, careful planning and dedication.
Pension? a 20k per month pension between both partners over a 30 years period will give 70m naira if you start working in 30 and retires 60 years. to
For a low income earner, that is a huge money. Withdraw that 70m pension and lock in a bond at 20% per annum, that person will be getting 1.2m every blessed month.
It is all about awareness bro.
This system is far better than relying on family safety net that is not sustainable

Please how did you make your calculations?

.

Gerrard59:
The reason wages are low in most African countries is because we are not productive enough, we don't trade more finished goods with wealtheir countries and we are too populated. Wages are also low in Vietnam, Indonesia and India. Three countries characterised with high populations. The difference is that those countries especially Vietnam strive to attract foreign investmenet to produce finished goods. They too, the Vietnamese, produce finished goods and export to wealthier nations. Vietnam did $1.1BN in cassava exports to China. Nigeria no reach half, but we are the world's biggest grower of the crop.

You don't have to save 1m from a 70K salary. You increase your skills so you earn more, then save your higher earnings and set aside higher sums into pension, stocks and insurance.

So now that we know that the government has its fault in not promoting trade, why have too many children? Did Tinubu say people should have 500 children? Tinubu himself does not have 500 children.

Have you seen anybody with 100 children? Let's assume you are used hyperbole, it still doesn't answer my question. I gave an example on a man, his wife and one child earning 140k combined. Can that money feed them and cloth them and pay rent in a decent place? Too much population is no excuse for not paying the qualified ones, a living wage. You talked about increasing skills as if it will lead to automatic salary increase. With our current population and our earnings, we can pay a living wage. The monies that could have gone round, are in people's private foreign accounts. The idea that we are not productive enough is not true. How do you define being productive? Because we don't produce finished goods? What about our services, what about our raw materials? Do you know how much we made from Gold and other minerals? Even oil do you know? A man has 20 children and he makes 20 million a month and he is telling you that the man who makes 5m monthly with 5 children is richer