₦airaland Forum

Kobojunkie:
I would ask you for a stat to prove this claim, which you make here, suggesting that most divorced women go on to become sidechicks. Where is the backing for this claim? An unnamed analyst makes a claim, and we are supposed to believe it is fact? Nonsense!

There is nothing Juju about it at all. If you reason it without biases coloring your view, you would see it yourself. Anyways, as for one of the reasons why some divorced women go on to become sidechicks, well, there are several reasons.

➜ Society claims it is wrong to commit adultery, but then, rather than penalize the man and sidechick, lets them off, and in some cases, Society turns the blame on the wife for not being wifely enough or not having the prowess to protect her marriage from the other woman. All this is pressure placed on the wife, who now finds herself fighting depression, rejection, and also having to continue her wifely duties, all while the man and his sidechick continue to enjoy their lives as though nothing ever went wrong. Imagine a situation where even the man's family members receive gifts and entertain the sidechick behind the wife's back as though to say that they approve of the relationship, even as they continue to insist their son's wife continue to serve him judiciously in the home.
➜ Most Nigerian men treat their sidechicks so many times better than they treat their own wives. I mean, this ain't a hidden secret at all, as even very poor men are known to go out of their way to ensure their sidechicks are well fed before even their own children, talk less of their wives. The position of sidechick in Nigeria is so many times better than that of the wife, who, in many cases, is no more than a provider of free labor in the marriage.
➜ A sidechick has more opportunities for growth than a typical wife would have access to. A sidechick has greater control over her time and freedom than the average wife does, and for an ambitious woman, that is a benefit that is of great importance. Having the man while holding on to her independence is a valuable place to be in.
....

Yes, there are lots of benefits to being a sidechick than a wife to a Nigerian man, that is why I believe a wife trading places with a sidechick is a sort of promotion, not a demotion, for a divorced woman.🥱🥱🥱

Kobo, rest.

Stop bringing nonsense topics to the front page. You’re making it obvious that this place is for idle people.

meobizy:
Stop bringing nonsense topics to the front page. You’re making it obvious that this place is for idle people.

I swear.
Lol...wetin we no go see 4 Nairaland?
Na to dey look dey go.

Let's go with that Logic for the Man too, why keep a wife when you can have freedom and side chicks

Kobojunkie:
I would ask you for a stat to prove this claim, which you make here, suggesting that most divorced women go on to become sidechicks. Where is the backing for this claim? An unnamed analyst makes a claim, and we are supposed to believe it is fact? Nonsense!

There is nothing Juju about it at all. If you reason it without biases coloring your view, you would see it yourself. Anyways, as for one of the reasons why some divorced women go on to become sidechicks, well, there are several reasons.

➜ Society claims it is wrong to commit adultery, but then, rather than penalize the man and sidechick, lets them off, and in some cases, Society turns the blame on the wife for not being wifely enough or not having the prowess to protect her marriage from the other woman. All this is pressure placed on the wife, who now finds herself fighting depression, rejection, and also having to continue her wifely duties, all while the man and his sidechick continue to enjoy their lives as though nothing ever went wrong. Imagine a situation where even the man's family members receive gifts and entertain the sidechick behind the wife's back as though to say that they approve of the relationship, even as they continue to insist their son's wife continue to serve him judiciously in the home.
➜ Most Nigerian men treat their sidechicks so many times better than they treat their own wives. I mean, this ain't a hidden secret at all, as even very poor men are known to go out of their way to ensure their sidechicks are well fed before even their own children, talk less of their wives. The position of sidechick in Nigeria is so many times better than that of the wife, who, in many cases, is no more than a provider of free labor in the marriage.
➜ A sidechick has more opportunities for growth than a typical wife would have access to. A sidechick has greater control over her time and freedom than the average wife does, and for an ambitious woman, that is a benefit that is of great importance. Having the man while holding on to her independence is a valuable place to be in.
....

Yes, there are lots of benefits to being a sidechick than a wife to a Nigerian man, that is why I believe a wife trading places with a sidechick is a sort of promotion, not a demotion, for a divorced woman.🥱🥱🥱

Bolded is NOT true.

Kobojunkie:
I would ask you for a stat to prove this claim, which you make here, suggesting that most divorced women go on to become sidechicks. Where is the backing for this claim? An unnamed analyst makes a claim, and we are supposed to believe it is fact? Nonsense!

There is nothing Juju about it at all. If you reason it without biases coloring your view, you would see it yourself. Anyways, as for one of the reasons why some divorced women go on to become sidechicks, well, there are several reasons.

➜ Society claims it is wrong to commit adultery, but then, rather than penalize the man and sidechick, lets them off, and in some cases, Society turns the blame on the wife for not being wifely enough or not having the prowess to protect her marriage from the other woman. All this is pressure placed on the wife, who now finds herself fighting depression, rejection, and also having to continue her wifely duties, all while the man and his sidechick continue to enjoy their lives as though nothing ever went wrong. Imagine a situation where even the man's family members receive gifts and entertain the sidechick behind the wife's back as though to say that they approve of the relationship, even as they continue to insist their son's wife continue to serve him judiciously in the home.
➜ Most Nigerian men treat their sidechicks so many times better than they treat their own wives. I mean, this ain't a hidden secret at all, as even very poor men are known to go out of their way to ensure their sidechicks are well fed before even their own children, talk less of their wives. The position of sidechick in Nigeria is so many times better than that of the wife, who, in many cases, is no more than a provider of free labor in the marriage.
➜ A sidechick has more opportunities for growth than a typical wife would have access to. A sidechick has greater control over her time and freedom than the average wife does, and for an ambitious woman, that is a benefit that is of great importance. Having the man while holding on to her independence is a valuable place to be in.
....

Yes, there are lots of benefits to being a sidechick than a wife to a Nigerian man, that is why I believe a wife trading places with a sidechick is a sort of promotion, not a demotion, for a divorced woman.🥱🥱🥱

You dey talk sense sometimes but this thing wey you talk here na nonsense.

King2305:
To be very honest, all the trash you there ended up for[i][/i] poster and even gave a more glaring view to his post.

So u now admit say na woman do woman?

Based on ur gibberish "A sidechick has a high opportunity for growth more than the wife"

You are technically saying and affirming that "wife" should get a divorce so as to be a sidechick. In other word, to have a better chance for growth?

That also validates OP claim that a wife gets divorced and ends up being a sidechick. That is his argument.

Whether they have better opportunity or not is not OPs argument. But you have now open our innermost eyes to a better career opportunity as an advantage of being a divorced sidechick. Which I will end up saying is the most useless argument of 21st century.

Also, just like what one guy said, no sane man would leave his wife for a sidechick not to mention "divorced, 8th hand, borehole sidechick"

You never see anything. She is too good at writing gibberish in the name of feminism. I stopped reading her posts long ago.

Abeg you people should get over this matter jare

If they date married men nko

Is it single men that don't have money you want them to date before?

JuanDeDios:
➜Bolded is NOT true.

You are telling me that there are sidechicks out there who would accept being treated worse than the wife? Please explain!

TheRedpillguy:
Let's go with that Logic for the Man too, why keep a wife when you can have freedom and side chicks

For many men, the wife is the woman they settled for— to mine free labor and other benefits of having a wife at home from— whereas the sidechick is the woman that is more their type but either cannot afford or cannot fully measure up.

donogaga:
A wife will divorce her husband because he cheated on her, after divorce she'll now be dating & knacking husbands whose wives are patient with them despite all odds... No be juju be dat!

That's their last resort of course

Kobojunkie:
I would ask you for a stat to prove this claim, which you make here, suggesting that most divorced women go on to become sidechicks. Where is the backing for this claim? An unnamed analyst makes a claim, and we are supposed to believe it is fact? Nonsense!

There is nothing Juju about it at all. If you reason it without biases coloring your view, you would see it yourself. Anyways, as for one of the reasons why some divorced women go on to become sidechicks, well, there are several reasons.

➜ Society claims it is wrong to commit adultery, but then, rather than penalize the man and sidechick, lets them off, and in some cases, Society turns the blame on the wife for not being wifely enough or not having the prowess to protect her marriage from the other woman. All this is pressure placed on the wife, who now finds herself fighting depression, rejection, and also having to continue her wifely duties, all while the man and his sidechick continue to enjoy their lives as though nothing ever went wrong. Imagine a situation where even the man's family members receive gifts and entertain the sidechick behind the wife's back as though to say that they approve of the relationship, even as they continue to insist their son's wife continue to serve him judiciously in the home.
➜ Most Nigerian men treat their sidechicks so many times better than they treat their own wives. I mean, this ain't a hidden secret at all, as even very poor men are known to go out of their way to ensure their sidechicks are well fed before even their own children, talk less of their wives. The position of sidechick in Nigeria is so many times better than that of the wife, who, in many cases, is no more than a provider of free labor in the marriage.
➜ A sidechick has more opportunities for growth than a typical wife would have access to. A sidechick has greater control over her time and freedom than the average wife does, and for an ambitious woman, that is a benefit that is of great importance. Having the man while holding on to her independence is a valuable place to be in.
....

Yes, there are lots of benefits to being a sidechick than a wife to a Nigerian man, that is why I believe a wife trading places with a sidechick is a sort of promotion, not a demotion, for a divorced woman.🥱🥱🥱

Try harder.

Kobojunkie:
This is simply human behavior!

✓ The lie told by OP, which is that 80% of women who get divorced eventually become sidechicks, is merely of human behavior. 😏
✓ The second behavior by some(not all) women who go to become sidechicks is of a human need to level up in any way possible. Nothing new here. 🥱

I was told that you just returned from the moon.

Embrace reality and stop this your pointless defence

This is not new na. Matured People on the street know this na.

Most especially in diaspora. Some of the reasons are the following

1. Most divorced women are mostly 35 years and above. So, majority of them will be looking to date men of 35 years and above. Majority of men of that age are married.

2. Most divorced married women already have children. Most single men without children don't want to date single mothers. These men have better offers from younger women without children.

3. Most divorced women are still looking for men that will pay their bills or support as much as possible. In other words, most divorced single mothers are expensive to maintain. They are not good reasons for a single man to invest on.

In summary, based on demands and supply rules, most divorced women end up with married men. It's the truth,statistics or otherwise. I have plenty of personal experiences of this.

ednut1:
This narrative has no statistical backing. Naso una go just dey lie. Most cheating married men prefer young smallies abeg

I am a cheating married man and I confirm this statement to be true.

ednut1:
This narrative has no statistical backing. Naso una go just dey lie. Most cheating married men prefer young smallies abeg

Yes. Most married men prefer younger women but most younger women don't want married men.

Most single men don't want divorced women too.

So you see why married men and divorced women are matches in the dating market?

Kobojunkie:
I would ask you for a stat to prove this claim, which you make here, suggesting that most divorced women go on to become sidechicks. Where is the backing for this claim? An unnamed analyst makes a claim, and we are supposed to believe it is fact? Nonsense!

There is nothing Juju about it at all. If you reason it without biases coloring your view, you would see it yourself. Anyways, as for one of the reasons why some divorced women go on to become sidechicks, well, there are several reasons.

➜ Society claims it is wrong to commit adultery, but then, rather than penalize the man and sidechick, lets them off, and in some cases, Society turns the blame on the wife for not being wifely enough or not having the prowess to protect her marriage from the other woman. All this is pressure placed on the wife, who now finds herself fighting depression, rejection, and also having to continue her wifely duties, all while the man and his sidechick continue to enjoy their lives as though nothing ever went wrong. Imagine a situation where even the man's family members receive gifts and entertain the sidechick behind the wife's back as though to say that they approve of the relationship, even as they continue to insist their son's wife continue to serve him judiciously in the home.
➜ Most Nigerian men treat their sidechicks so many times better than they treat their own wives. I mean, this ain't a hidden secret at all, as even very poor men are known to go out of their way to ensure their sidechicks are well fed before even their own children, talk less of their wives. The position of sidechick in Nigeria is so many times better than that of the wife, who, in many cases, is no more than a provider of free labor in the marriage.
➜ A sidechick has more opportunities for growth than a typical wife would have access to. A sidechick has greater control over her time and freedom than the average wife does, and for an ambitious woman, that is a benefit that is of great importance. Having the man while holding on to her independence is a valuable place to be in.
....

Yes, there are lots of benefits to being a sidechick than a wife to a Nigerian man, that is why I believe a wife trading places with a sidechick is a sort of promotion, not a demotion, for a divorced woman.🥱🥱🥱

You making some valid observation notorious in a typical family setting particularly in Nigeria....
"Married men" I have heard from ladies prefer them than single in Nigeria...
A mother of a working class lady complain to me to talk to her daughter concerning Married men she barely got approach by Single but it's not true most single men aren't are taste and she complained of the the one whose salary was 70k as at 2021 but should be better by now she was 32 then....
Married man is a sign you are up to the task it's alone to entice most single women, divorcee, especially Single mother's this is not always the case but it's usually the norm in 80 percent of cases in Nigeria .....

bionixs:
I was told that you just returned from the moon.

Embrace reality and stop this your pointless defence

She's trying to deflate an obvious pattern we've seen over and over again.....From university campuses till Cooperate office till even Market place and even Religious sites this is a pattern noticeable

GUNITGuy:
➜ You making some valid observation notorious in a typical family setting particularly in Nigeria....
"Married men" I have heard from ladies prefer them than single in Nigeria... A mother of a working class lady complain to me to talk to her daughter concerning Married men she barely got approach by Single but it's not true most single men aren't are taste and she complained of the the one whose salary was 70k as at 2021 but should be better by now she was 32 then....
➜Married man is a sign you are up to the task it's alone to entice most single women, divorcee, especially Single mother's this is not always the case but it's usually the norm in 80 percent of cases in Nigeria .....

1. Given what has happened to the Nigerian economy since 2021, I seriously doubt that those same single men who were not up to her level then are anywhere closer to it at this point.

2. I don't believe the draw is that married men are perceived as being up to the task; a formerly married woman probably sees all married men as no different from her ex in terms of what to expect. Except that she knows such men are all too willing to pay up when in relationships with women who are not their wives. After all, these married men are out there looking for women who are their preferred type. (Their wives at home are merely women they had to settle for to build a family, mine free labor from, and not much else.) The moment a married man finds the woman of his type outside of his marriage, he is willing to pay up to keep the woman of his dreams around him, regardless of whether she was formerly married or not. This demand exists, hence the reason why there are enough women out there willing to put up with them.

GUNITGuy:
➜ She's trying to deflate an obvious pattern we've seen over and over again.....From university campuses till Cooperate office till even Market place and even Religious sites this is a pattern noticeable

. No mind dem! Most Nigerians love to put on blinders as they believe that by doing so, the problems automagically go away and everything suddenly begins to work according to their particular delusion.

Kobojunkie:
1. Given what has happened to the Nigerian economy since 2021, I seriously doubt that those same single men who were not up to her level then are anywhere closer to it at this point.

2. I don't believe the draw is that married men are perceived as being up to the task; a formerly married woman probably sees all married men as no different from her ex in terms of what to expect. Except that she knows such men are all too willing to pay up when in relationships with women who are not their wives. After all, these married men are out there looking for women who are their preferred type. (Their wives at home are merely women they had to settle for to build a family, mine free labor from, and not much else.) The moment a married man finds the woman of his type outside of his marriage, he is willing to pay up to keep the woman of his dreams around him, regardless of whether she was formerly married or not. This demand exists, hence the reason why there are enough women out there willing to put up with them.

Men don't approach women the same way women do .. infact men don't know exactly what kind of woman they want until one who entices them or gives them a new thrill comes around particularly philandering males....it could be any woman of any class, tribe, size, shape, race, or even complexion it's about the thrill it doesn't necessarily mean she's the woman of his dream it gets better if he knows she would be willing...
Most women have a usual prototype of a man and any who doesn't fit in she's not 'in' emotionally but could be there physically

GUNITGuy:
➜Men don't approach women the same way women do .. infact men don't know exactly what kind of woman they want until one who entices them or gives them a new thrill comes around particularly philandering males....it could be any woman of any class, tribe, size, shape, race, or even complexion it's about the thrill it doesn't necessarily mean she's the woman of his dream it gets better if he knows she would be willing...
➜Most women have a usual prototype of a man and any who doesn't fit in she's not 'in' emotionally but could be there physically

I used to think that way until I really did some digging and found out instead that most men have a type of women they desire the most, even if they are open to having any woman out there to meet their more immediate needs. That is similar to the way women also reason the issue of dating, except that women are more vocal about their preferences.

2. I believe, and this is from reading up many studies and polls, that the same applies to men, only that, since they realize, either from experience or their peers, that they are likely not to end up with their type, so they don't focus much on that.

Take a look, for instance, at some of the women that particular celebrity males have dated over the years, and you immediately realize there is a pattern to their choices and behaviors. They are humans after all.

---

Also, regarding the claim that 80% of divorced women date married men, don't you see that that implies that a significant portion of married men have divorced women as sidechicks ? If the latter part of that statement does not make sense to you, then how can the first part make any sense? 🥱🥱🥱

Kobojunkie:
1. Given what has happened to the Nigerian economy since 2021, I seriously doubt that those same single men who were not up to her level then are anywhere closer to it at this point.

2. I don't believe the draw is that married men are perceived as being up to the task; a formerly married woman probably sees all married men as no different from her ex in terms of what to expect. Except that she knows such men are all too willing to pay up when in relationships with women who are not their wives. After all, these married men are out there looking for women who are their preferred type. (Their wives at home are merely women they had to settle for to build a family, mine free labor from, and not much else.) The moment a married man finds the woman of his type outside of his marriage, he is willing to pay up to keep the woman of his dreams around him, regardless of whether she was formerly married or not. This demand exists, hence the reason why there are enough women out there willing to put up with them.

2: The men at are level or above as they've always want at this point are married or single ones would have the same attention of many ladies around him it's a no-brainer that's always the situation ...
A made man is a price for most ladies whether rich or poor, Single, divorcee or even at times married women ..
The choice of options narrows for most women as they gets older while for most Rich or successful men it widens as they gets older too whether they're married or not ...
On campus the cute guys gets all the girls in my days if he now has a car common he's top notch...Despite they are other guys available but all of them wants the same man to prove a point to their friends and get them jealous ...
Suddenly they gets into the real society some of the guys they turned down are now looking cute and doing well for themselves all of a sudden they begin to desire such men again while those guys have more prettier younger ladies as options ...
Then the cycle of Dating married men continues ...
Many ladies now would wish they took most guys seriously when they were young and free ..
The streets have taught them lesson ...

kelechi50:
There is juju involved, if not how will a sane man leave his wife and children for a side chick

Oga this question you asked is the same thing my papa and is guys asked their friend those days. The man went astray with a Calabar side chick, abandoned his wife and kids. After his group of friends got him back to his senses, one question the asked was watin happen, how come? Popsi said the man looked at the and shook his head, saying "if Calabar woman handle you"??. Say he does not blame them for not understanding with him. Lol.

GUNITGuy:
2: The men at are level or above as they've always want at this point are married or single ones would have the same attention of many ladies around him it's a no-brainer that's always the situation ...
A made man is a price for most ladies whether rich or poor, Single, divorcee or even at times married women ..
The choice of options narrows for most women as they gets older while for most Rich or successful men it widens as they gets older too whether they're married or not ...
On campus the cute guys gets all the girls in my days if he now has a car common he's top notch...Despite they are other guys available but all of them wants the same man to prove a point to their friends and get them jealous ...
Suddenly they gets into the real society some of the guys they turned down are now looking cute and doing well for themselves all of a sudden they begin to desire such men again while those guys have more prettier younger ladies as options ...
Then the cycle of Dating married men continues ...
Many ladies now would wish they took most guys seriously when they were young and free ..
The streets have taught them lesson ...

You keep forgetting that we are speaking of Nigeria, where over 140 million Nigerians do not earn anywhere close to Naira 70,000 a month; They live below the poverty line.

Kobojunkie:
I used to think that way until I really did some digging and found out instead that most men have a type of women they desire the most, even if they are open to having any woman out there to meet their more immediate needs. That is similar to the way women also reason the issue of dating, except that women are more vocal about their preferences.

2. I believe, and this is from reading up many studies and polls, that the same applies to men, only that, since they realize, either from experience or their peers, that they are likely not to end up with their type, so they don't focus much on that.

Take a look, for instance, at some of the women that particular celebrity males have dated over the years, and you immediately realize there is a pattern to their choices and behaviors. They are humans after all.

---

Also, regarding the comment regarding the 80% from earlier, that number is plain impossible.

Men tend to fall for an easier prey for them who it's easier..Find out most handsome celebrities married average looking women ....Some men believe the drama of very beautiful women are just beyond them except she's willing to dance to their times ...that's another study for another day ..
Major reason why beautiful women or women or drive cars tend to be single it's because most men are not bold enough to approach them or think they are not easy to deal with ...It's common with high cooperate women ....
In conclusion most men would marry a woman he could easily deal with or even sleep with a woman easier for him than a difficult one ...
That's why after a divorce their previous wive could be even more prettier than the new one ...
He found the one easier to control not necessarily beauty ....this is fact
The

GUNITGuy:
➜Men tend to fall for an easier prey for them who it's easier..Find out most handsome celebrities married average looking women ....Some men believe the drama of very beautiful women are just beyond them except she's willing to dance to their times ...that's another study for another day ..
Major reason why beautiful women or women or drive cars tend to be single it's because most men are not bold enough to approach them or think they too could be easy to deal with ...It's common with high cooperate women ....
➜In conclusion most men would marry a woman he could easily deal with or even sleep with a woman easier for him than a difficult one ...
That's why after a divorce their previous wive could be even more prettier than the new one ...He found the one easier to control not necessarily beauty ....this is fact The

1. Falling for an easier prey does not mean the easier prey is, in fact, the desired one. If a man goes out to catch a bass but ends up only catching a tilapia or something else, that doesn't mean his desire has been fulfilled, does it?

Also, beauty is in the eye of the beholder. So, what I term beautiful may not be what the next person considers beautiful.

2. I don't buy into these assertions of yours at all.

same thing my wife did