If You Can’t Tolerate Them, Don’t Marry Them - Romance (2)

If You Can’t Tolerate Them, Don’t Marry Them - Romance (2) - Nairaland

Nairaland Forum › Nairaland General › Romance › If You Can’t Tolerate Them, Don’t Marry Them (16377 Views)

Re: If You Can’t Tolerate Them, Don’t Marry Them by columbus007(m): 12:38pm On Oct 08, 2025

Op what's all these? Na today we don begin hear am undecided

Re: If You Can’t Tolerate Them, Don’t Marry Them by Dee60: 12:39pm On Oct 08, 2025

If the soldier husband had sent her away within 5 months of marriage, the whole world would most likely have blamed him for being a wicked intolerant soldier husband.

Re: If You Can’t Tolerate Them, Don’t Marry Them by olumaxi(m): 12:43pm On Oct 08, 2025

I don't think it's a matter of if u can't tolerate, don't marry.....some human behaviors comes out after marriage...after giving birth to d 1st child or after giving birth to a male child

May God help us

1 Like

Re: If You Can’t Tolerate Them, Don’t Marry Them by favour32(m): 12:44pm On Oct 08, 2025

If you see the person wey you rhyme with in different fields, therefore,you are extremely lucky.

For two different people to live together as one ,e nor easy.

E worsen, if the man gets unstable financial flow.

E rotten, if the woman dey greedy and jobless.

1 Like

Re: If You Can’t Tolerate Them, Don’t Marry Them by RPG2020(m): 12:47pm On Oct 08, 2025

Some women na sesefly

1 Like

Re: If You Can’t Tolerate Them, Don’t Marry Them by nnamdi640: 12:58pm On Oct 08, 2025

OboOlora:
Una go de shout MARRY VIRGIN, forgetting mental health is more important

What if this one na virgin wey her brain don maraaaa

Better to marry a sane olosho than an insane virgin o

What bring about virgin to this matter. Beside marrying a virgin is a factor one have to check out after character

Re: If You Can’t Tolerate Them, Don’t Marry Them by advanceDNA: 1:03pm On Oct 08, 2025

Dpsychologist:
It's time we start telling ourselves the truth. If you are toxic and you know you have an unforgiving spirit, just rest. No need to bother marrying.

Noooo.......They will marry and blame their partner for not loving and tolerating them the way they are....
Their slogan is - "marriage is not for the faint hearted"
"shebi u saw before marrying me" ... So u must allow me k!ll you will you endure because that what marriage is all about

Re: If You Can’t Tolerate Them, Don’t Marry Them by moje4: 1:04pm On Oct 08, 2025

Will I marry so? Am scared of marriage right. Every day we wake up to receive gory news on marriage. Hmmmm

1 Like

Re: If You Can’t Tolerate Them, Don’t Marry Them by Lovelydaisies: 1:08pm On Oct 08, 2025

SafePromotions:
The REAL CHALLENGE Here Is That Nobody Really Knows If They Can Handle The Pressures Of Marriage Until They Get Involved!

So, Your Warnings Will Not Solve The Challenge.

The Only Solution To This Issue Is That People Should Really Invest In Their Self's Temperaments By Becoming "Self Conscious" Of What Their Partners "LOVE And HATE" So That They Can Truly Understand How To Co-Exist.

Also, Couples Need To Learn How To Be "More Forgiving" Of Each Other When They Hurt Each Other. Being Quick To Apologize Doesn't Mean That You Are Weak, It Only Means That You Have Mastered "The Essence Of Peace And Empathy"

You are so right.

Sometimes, we think some things are negligible and they may be, only to find out that we can't tolerate it much longer.

Re: If You Can’t Tolerate Them, Don’t Marry Them by whippersnapper(m): 1:10pm On Oct 08, 2025

OboOlora:
Una go de shout MARRY VIRGIN, forgetting mental health is more important

What if this one na virgin wey her brain don maraaaa

Better to marry a sane olosho than an insane virgin o

This your own no follow. Left to me better not to marry at all

Re: If You Can’t Tolerate Them, Don’t Marry Them by Vikto17: 1:32pm On Oct 08, 2025

olumaxi:
I don't think it's a matter of if u can't tolerate, don't marry.....some human behaviors comes out after marriage...after giving birth to d 1st child or after giving birth to a male child

May God help us

l hate to see this false claims eeh... oga if you are dating someone with anger issues you don't need eternity to know ... There is no way that guy will claim during their courtship he doesn't know that the woman have anger issues,, he chose to ignore them and here we are

1 Like

Re: If You Can’t Tolerate Them, Don’t Marry Them by IME1: 1:36pm On Oct 08, 2025

Copied from FB

CLEARED BY THE ARMY OF ANY WRONG DOING AND FREED

I just saw this recent update about this story.

It was Mark Twain, the famous American writer who said, "a lie can travel halfway across the world, while the truth is putting on its shoes." Nowhere is this more applicable than in today's social media age where once lies are concocted, they are given wings to fly.

I started reading about the news on social media of how this Plateau girl from Mangu, in a murderous rampage, doused her husband in petrol while he was sleeping . Quite a pathetic, vile, wicked and vindictive thing to do if true. Yet, I cautioned we not jump into judgement without hearing the whole story. But the embers of lies of social media once concocted and fanned and gone viral, was unstoppable. Many started throwing the first stone on this lady without knowing the truth except what they heard online.

As a citizen journalist, I went into doing my due diligence to uncover the truth of the story. Indeed the lady is from Jos and the marriage happend as reported in Jos. Many in Jos who participated in the wedding, still have fresh memories of the good times from the wedding full of ostentatious display of wealth and privilege and happiness.

All that had been reported on social media from the story gone viral, I found out was true except a key fact: the report that the lady doused her husband with petrol while he was sleeping in a murderous jealous rampage over a message she discovered on her husband's phone from another lady.

What I was able to uncover through interview with her immediate family here in Jos, is that the bride is home and cleared of any wrong doings by the army. To the contrary of her killing her husband, the narrative is one where she was the one repeatedly victimized and constantly beaten by the husband and on one occasion, lost a pregnancy she carried.

The fateful occasion where she was portrayed as the murderer, was infact the husband who threatened to set her ablaze. Repeated acts of domestic violence against the wife was much documented before the Army who knows the case well. The Army ruled the incident an accident according to the family due to the negligence of the husband playing with petrol and a light burner while threatening his wife. The light burner he was using with petrol to make threats mistakenly caught fire and engulfed him. He was stabilized in the hospital and made statements in the hospital bed that were key to exonerating (claring his wife) as the person who poured fuel on him.

The lady is free and home and this is a fact that can be independently verified by all. Many might know her family. It's quite unfortunate many just copied and pasted the wrong story about this lady without fact checking. (PTB) PLATEAU THE BEAUTIFUL

****

So all this happened inside marriage of six months? Hmmmmm.

Parents let's guide our children on the right path to avoid stories dt touch the heart

Copied

Re: If You Can’t Tolerate Them, Don’t Marry Them by louken(m): 1:56pm On Oct 08, 2025

I agree

Re: If You Can’t Tolerate Them, Don’t Marry Them by Paut(m): 2:01pm On Oct 08, 2025

Marriage is endurance nothing much

1 Like

Re: If You Can’t Tolerate Them, Don’t Marry Them by risos(m): 2:05pm On Oct 08, 2025

This life wey be say some women ready to share their wives with other women

Re: If You Can’t Tolerate Them, Don’t Marry Them by Bimpe29(m): 2:16pm On Oct 08, 2025

It is as simple as ABC. If you can't forgive and tolerate your spouse, then marriage is not meant for you.

Re: If You Can’t Tolerate Them, Don’t Marry Them by aestake: 2:32pm On Oct 08, 2025

Dpsychologist:
It's time we ~~start~~ started telling ourselves the truth. If you are toxic and you know you have an unforgiving spirit, just rest. No need to bother marrying.

How can someone meant to be the love of your life be the cause of your death.

Re: If You Can’t Tolerate Them, Don’t Marry Them by Ogunnaike144: 2:44pm On Oct 08, 2025

My ex was really toxic, she doesn't know how to address me when she's angry...I can use anger to burst her eyes one day and I didn't want that so I walked away..it was like she will die but omo I ran for my sanity

Re: If You Can’t Tolerate Them, Don’t Marry Them by bayplus: 2:46pm On Oct 08, 2025

Dpsychologist:
Marriage isn’t a battlefield. It’s not a place to test how much pain, anger, or revenge a human heart can endure. Yet, every other week, we wake up to horrifying news — a wife who poisoned her husband, a husband who beat his wife to death, or couples who set each other ablaze in moments of rage.

Recently there is a news of a woman who is alleged to have set her husband ablaze after an argument. Whether this is later confirmed to be true or not, a life has been lost.

No matter the offence, no one deserves to die in the name of marriage. If a partner becomes unbearable, walk away. Separation — though painful — is always better than a prison sentence or a graveyard visit.

We must start telling ourselves the truth:
👉 If you can’t tolerate his attitude, don’t marry him.
👉 If you can’t respect her when she’s angry, don’t marry her.
👉 If you can’t handle the storms of communication, ego, or financial strain, stay single until you can.

Marriage doesn’t fix temperaments — it exposes them. Love alone isn’t enough; patience, emotional maturity, forgiveness, and self-control are the silent pillars that keep a home standing when love starts to wobble.

Too many people are getting married for the wrong reasons — pressure, loneliness, lust, or societal expectations. Then when reality hits, frustration replaces affection, and resentment breeds violence.

Let’s normalize choosing peace over pretense. It’s not weakness to walk away from what drains you. It’s strength.

So please — before you say “I do,” ask yourself:

>“Can I truly live with this person’s flaws without turning into a monster myself?”

If the honest answer is no, then don’t do it. It’s better to be single and sane than married and murderous.

What do you think — is intolerance or poor emotional management the bigger cause of domestic violence today?

:
👉 If you can’t tolerate his attitude, don’t marry him.
👉 If you can’t respect her when she’s angry, don’t marry her.

The two recommendations above is inconsistent.

You advise that if a woman cannot tolerate a man's attitude, she should not marry him. Right?

But your second sentence speaks volumes.

But for the man

If you cannot respect her when she is angry, do not marry her. How do you respect an angry woman who cannot control her anger.

I expected you to point out that if she cannot manage her anger, walk away from her.

May be Lt Samason Haruna died because he was trying to "respect her anger" and she took it to another level while he was asleep.

This is why sometimes you need madness to cure madness.

If you allow people with poor anger management to run wild without any resistance, they go haywire. This is the result.

Imagine if it was the man who did this.

The whole women civil organizations and feminist world would have descended on the man.

Re: If You Can’t Tolerate Them, Don’t Marry Them by sukar886: 3:06pm On Oct 08, 2025

Dpsychologist:
Marriage isn’t a battlefield. It’s not a place to test how much pain, anger, or revenge a human heart can endure. Yet, every other week, we wake up to horrifying news — a wife who poisoned her husband, a husband who beat his wife to death, or couples who set each other ablaze in moments of rage.

Recently there is a news of a woman who is alleged to have set her husband ablaze after an argument. Whether this is later confirmed to be true or not, a life has been lost.

No matter the offence, no one deserves to die in the name of marriage. If a partner becomes unbearable, walk away. Separation — though painful — is always better than a prison sentence or a graveyard visit.

We must start telling ourselves the truth:
👉 If you can’t tolerate his attitude, don’t marry him.
👉 If you can’t respect her when she’s angry, don’t marry her.
👉 If you can’t handle the storms of communication, ego, or financial strain, stay single until you can.

Marriage doesn’t fix temperaments — it exposes them. Love alone isn’t enough; patience, emotional maturity, forgiveness, and self-control are the silent pillars that keep a home standing when love starts to wobble.

Too many people are getting married for the wrong reasons — pressure, loneliness, lust, or societal expectations. Then when reality hits, frustration replaces affection, and resentment breeds violence.

Let’s normalize choosing peace over pretense. It’s not weakness to walk away from what drains you. It’s strength.

So please — before you say “I do,” ask yourself:

>“Can I truly live with this person’s flaws without turning into a monster myself?”

If the honest answer is no, then don’t do it. It’s better to be single and sane than married and murderous.

What do you think — is intolerance or poor emotional management the bigger cause of domestic violence today?

I swear,best thing I have ever hear since I was born

Re: If You Can’t Tolerate Them, Don’t Marry Them by bukatyne(f): 3:11pm On Oct 08, 2025

Apcnewrecruit:
This generation of women should be carefully observed. Unfortunately stupid love and infatuation makes some guys not to see the red flags and run for their lives.

OP opened a sensible thread.

However, you couldn't resist the urge to be 'that person'.

1 Like

Re: If You Can’t Tolerate Them, Don’t Marry Them by portacabin: 3:20pm On Oct 08, 2025

Dpsychologist:
Marriage isn’t a battlefield. It’s not a place to test how much pain, anger, or revenge a human heart can endure. Yet, every other week, we wake up to horrifying news — a wife who poisoned her husband, a husband who beat his wife to death, or couples who set each other ablaze in moments of rage.

Recently there is a news of a woman who is alleged to have set her husband ablaze after an argument. Whether this is later confirmed to be true or not, a life has been lost.

No matter the offence, no one deserves to die in the name of marriage. If a partner becomes unbearable, walk away. Separation — though painful — is always better than a prison sentence or a graveyard visit.

We must start telling ourselves the truth:
👉 If you can’t tolerate his attitude, don’t marry him.
👉 If you can’t respect her when she’s angry, don’t marry her.
👉 If you can’t handle the storms of communication, ego, or financial strain, stay single until you can.

Marriage doesn’t fix temperaments — it exposes them. Love alone isn’t enough; patience, emotional maturity, forgiveness, and self-control are the silent pillars that keep a home standing when love starts to wobble.

Too many people are getting married for the wrong reasons — pressure, loneliness, lust, or societal expectations. Then when reality hits, frustration replaces affection, and resentment breeds violence.

Let’s normalize choosing peace over pretense. It’s not weakness to walk away from what drains you. It’s strength.

So please — before you say “I do,” ask yourself:

>“Can I truly live with this person’s flaws without turning into a monster myself?”

If the honest answer is no, then don’t do it. It’s better to be single and sane than married and murderous.

What do you think — is intolerance or poor emotional management the bigger cause of domestic violence today?

true

Re: If You Can’t Tolerate Them, Don’t Marry Them by SEGLIZ: 4:10pm On Oct 08, 2025

Apcnewrecruit:
This generation of women should be carefully observed. Unfortunately stupid love and infatuation makes some guys not to see the red flags and run for their lives.

it is obvious you are one the ones this article is talking about.

straight you lay the blame on the females door, what about those men brutalizing the women? still the woman's fault.

ojuu4u:
The op talks about two people in marriage , "man and woman", you should endeavour to talk about generation of man too, it take too to tango and same time take the two couples to make the marriage works

just let him be, you'll clearly feel it he is one of those the article is advising but rather than be open minded, his heart remains clouded by his hate inclination.

1 Like

Re: If You Can’t Tolerate Them, Don’t Marry Them by Auxtan(m): 5:11pm On Oct 08, 2025

Poor emotional intelligence. I'm also guilty of having a poor emotional intelligence. God help me.

Re: If You Can’t Tolerate Them, Don’t Marry Them by Guestmale: 5:16pm On Oct 08, 2025

Dpsychologist:
Marriage isn’t a battlefield. It’s not a place to test how much pain, anger, or revenge a human heart can endure. Yet, every other week, we wake up to horrifying news — a wife who poisoned her husband, a husband who beat his wife to death, or couples who set each other ablaze in moments of rage.

Recently there is a news of a woman who is alleged to have set her husband ablaze after an argument. Whether this is later confirmed to be true or not, a life has been lost.

No matter the offence, no one deserves to die in the name of marriage. If a partner becomes unbearable, walk away. Separation — though painful — is always better than a prison sentence or a graveyard visit.

We must start telling ourselves the truth:
👉 If you can’t tolerate his attitude, don’t marry him.
👉 If you can’t respect her when she’s angry, don’t marry her.
👉 If you can’t handle the storms of communication, ego, or financial strain, stay single until you can.

Marriage doesn’t fix temperaments — it exposes them. Love alone isn’t enough; patience, emotional maturity, forgiveness, and self-control are the silent pillars that keep a home standing when love starts to wobble.

Too many people are getting married for the wrong reasons — pressure, loneliness, lust, or societal expectations. Then when reality hits, frustration replaces affection, and resentment breeds violence.

Let’s normalize choosing peace over pretense. It’s not weakness to walk away from what drains you. It’s strength.

So please — before you say “I do,” ask yourself:

>“Can I truly live with this person’s flaws without turning into a monster myself?”

If the honest answer is no, then don’t do it. It’s better to be single and sane than married and murderous.

What do you think — is intolerance or poor emotional management the bigger cause of domestic violence today?

The youth of nowadays walk by sight and easily get carried away by physical appearance,display of flamboyant life,fake lifestyle and fashion thereby mistaking physical attraction for love.

Marriage as you rightly stated up there is more than mere confession of shallow love,it requires self discipline and control, tolerance , long-suffering and temperance above all marriage is for the matured man and woman,not physical but mind and brain.

Re: If You Can’t Tolerate Them, Don’t Marry Them by Auxtan(m): 5:27pm On Oct 08, 2025

CodeTemplarr:
Even two best of friends, if they do business without a guiding standard they will have issues either over decisions or task sharing or money or outputs. Marriage is o different.

You're wise.

Re: If You Can’t Tolerate Them, Don’t Marry Them by olumaxi(m): 10:52pm On Oct 08, 2025

Vikto17:
l hate to see this false claims eeh... oga if you are dating someone with anger issues you don't need eternity to know ... There is no way that guy will claim during their courtship he doesn't know that the woman have anger issues,, he chose to ignore them and here we are

Go sleep bro..u are inexperienced

Re: If You Can’t Tolerate Them, Don’t Marry Them by lailo: 12:28am On Oct 09, 2025

You nailed it
1. If u cant respect him, decline his marriage proposal
2. If u have unforgiven spirit, dont get married to anyone bcs they will surely offend you.
3. If u are too wise, dont get married bcs marriage is for foolish people
4. If your philosophy is "tit for tat", pls dont get married cos that philosophy is what will end the marriage las las
5. If u are not teachable, pls dont get married bcs marriage is a school for students
6. If u cant sacrifice, pls remain single bcs u will burn in marriage for sacrifice. You will have to sacrifice your life.
7. If u still want to own your body 100%, pls dont get married bcs u will have to lose urself to the other partner in marriage. He or she owns you 100%
8. If u can never trade your freedom, pls remain single bcs marriage is bondage. You lose your freedom in it.
9. If u dont like sex, pls flee from marriage bcs the essence of marriage is sex. Every other thing is an addendum
10. If all the points raised above speaks about you, Please and please remain single for the rest of your life, marriage is not for you. Save the world from children from broken homes. PEACE

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Re: If You Can’t Tolerate Them, Don’t Marry Them by Kobojunkie: 2:20am On Oct 09, 2025

Bimpe29:
It is as simple as ABC. If you can't forgive and tolerate your spouse, then marriage is not meant for you.

If that is simply the case then marriage is altogether not meant for humans since many people don't know how to forgive or don't even like those they partner with in relationship. undecided

Re: If You Can’t Tolerate Them, Don’t Marry Them by SafePromotions: 8:03am On Oct 09, 2025

Lovelydaisies:
You are so right.

Sometimes, we think some things are negligible and they may be, only to find out that we can't tolerate it much longer.

True. You're Very Right.

Re: If You Can’t Tolerate Them, Don’t Marry Them by Iamzik: 6:07pm On Oct 09, 2025

Meedon:
Spot on. People see marriage as do or die affair. Na that "for better for worse," weh Bible the use deceive them naim the do them.

Come to think of it....For better for worse is not in the Bible

Re: If You Can’t Tolerate Them, Don’t Marry Them by Meedon: 10:28am On Oct 10, 2025

Iamzik:
Come to think of it....For better for worse is not in the Bible

Then where did pastors get that useless line from?

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